Today -100: July 9, 1911: Of seals, feuds, marriage vows, and fans

The US, Britain, Russia and Japan have signed a treaty to protect seals and otters. Although by protect, I mostly mean divide up their skins.

The owner of two apartment buildings on 98th Street in NYC is annoyed that large new apartment buildings (one is eight stories) being built next door will cut off the light and air from his buildings. So he’s threatening to put up a 3-story-tall fence on the top of his building to block the windows of the new buildings. And he put up a big sign saying that his apartments are now for lease to colored tenants only. That’ll show ‘em.

The Church of England decides to revise the marriage service, including this part: “marriage is not by any to be enterprised nor taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly to satisfy men’s carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts, that have no understanding, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God.” The carnal lusts & brute beasts would be removed. From the sentence, I mean, not from the marriages, obvs. Also the bit about marriage being ordained for the procreation of children, because “procreation” is a naughty word.

Vice President Sherman broke precedent in presiding over the Senate, bringing in an electric fan to cool himself in the record-breaking heat wave. Hitherto, senators used only palm leaves. Instantly, several senators brought in their own fans.

Advancing a narrow social agenda

Rep. Tim Huelskamp (R-Kansas), introducing provisions, which passed the House 236-184 today, to ban gay marriages taking place on military bases and cutting off funds to train military chaplains on post-DADT policy, says he wants to ensure that “America’s military bases are not used to advance a narrow social agenda.” Because if there’s anything Tim Huelskamp hates, it’s using America’s military bases to advance a narrow social agenda.

Today -100: July 8, 1911: Of docked pay

Gov. Woodrow Wilson of New Jersey was surprised to find his pay docked for all the time he spent out of the state making speeches that certainly had nothing to do with any presidential ambitions. His pay for those days went to the guy who was acting governor (the president of the state senate – I guess NJ didn’t have a lieutenant governor).

Caption contest

Not NOTW

Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World is to close forever after Sunday, having been caught hacking the phones of murdered girls, dead soldiers, police, celebs, etc. Probably Murdoch’s Sun newspaper, which now runs 6 days a week, will simply add a Sunday edition to replace the weekly NOTW (the New Statesman noted that The Sun ran only a short story of the NOTW hacking on page 2, “opposite some tits”) (it’s the word “some” that makes that phrase work so well), so don’t worry about the Murdochs losing any money off this scandal.

Okay, NOTW was never exactly what you’d call classy even before Murdoch bought it, its first issue in 1843 featuring the story of an “Extraordinary Charge of Drugging and Violation,” still, it’s impressive that they managed to so destroy the name of a British tabloid paper as to make it commercially untenable.

CONTEST: What would Fox News have to do to so poison the brand that it would close?

California Republicans and teh gayz

The California Assembly voted 49-25 to include mentions of the historical contributions of gays and lesbians in public schools’ social studies classes and textbooks (did you know some gay Prussian dude taught George Washington everything he knew about military drilling? It’s true!).

Here’s the thing: it was a party-line vote, with just one Republican crossing over (Nathan Fletcher of San Diego, who plans to run for mayor). If I may apply sophisticated political analysis here, that’s just stupid. A few New York Republicans were able to vote for gay marriage, but here they’re not even allowed to vote for the most piddling of pro-gay measures?

Today -100: July 7, 1911: Of dirty tricks, Christian Science, and loud churches

The Mexican Treasury gives $320,000 in gold to the Maderos to reimburse their expenses in overthrowing the government.

Rep. George Norris (Insurgent R-Neb.) accuses Taft’s secretary of running a political news bureau out of the White House aimed at scuppering a possible primary challenge to Taft by Robert LaFollette in 1912.

Sen. John Works (D-Cal.) gives a two-hour speech in the Senate against the establishment of a National Department of Health. Evidently he’s a believer in Christian Science, which he claims cured him and his wife of unspecified long-term diseases and his son of being a drunk. He accuses the American Medical Society of trying to stamp out Christian Science.

Mexican police fire at striking street car workers in Mexico City, killing 6. So much for the revolution, huh?

Oscar Davis, a wealthy, presumably white man in Quitman, Georgia, complained to the authorities about the noise made by the congregation of a negro church located near his house. The authorities made the church folk worship less boisterously, so they are now quietly praying. For the death of Oscar Davis.

Obama and the hashtag of doom

Obama held a “Twitter town hall” today. He answered questions posed by people with made-up Twitter handles like “RenegadeNerd” and “John Boehner.”

BUT REAL MEN TWEET STANDING UP: “First of all, everybody can sit down. (Laughter.) It’s much easier to tweet from a seated position. (Laughter.)”


In answer to the pictured question: “I think that -- probably two things that I would do differently. One would have been to explain to the American people that it was going to take a while for us to get out of this.” See, it’s not something he did less than perfectly, it’s something he explained less than perfectly. (The second thing is something about housing, but he doesn’t really mention something he would do differently.)


IT’S B-O-N-E-R: “John obviously needs to work on his typing skills.”

Asked by one NickKristof if he shouldn’t have gotten a commitment to raise the debt ceiling when he gave the Republicans an extension of tax cuts to the wealthy, he says “That wasn’t the deal that was available.” In other words, you were out-negotiated.


Speaking of out-negotiated, here he is asking permission from the super-rich to raise their taxes, because he was just raised polite that way: “As I said before, if wealthy individuals are willing to simply go back to the rates that existed back in the 1990s when rich people were doing very well... if the wealthiest among us -- and I include myself in this category -- are willing to give up a little bit more, then we can solve this problem.” If they aren’t willing, we might just remember that this country is supposed to be ruled by the majority, and we don’t actually have to beg their favor.

THE NICE THING ABOUT THE DEFENSE BUDGET: “And the nice thing about the defense budget is it’s so big, it’s so huge, that a 1 percent reduction is the equivalent of the education budget.” That said, he won’t reduce the defense budget 1%, obvs.

Today -100: July 6, 1911: Of war clouds and heat waves

Turkey’s troops are mobilized in preparation for a war against Montenegro.

So that’s two war scares in Europe, including the one over Morocco. French funds are being withdrawn from German banks.

Major heat wave all across the US. Stories from everywhere about people dropping dead by the hundreds (250, anyway). Life and death before air conditioning.

Habeas corpus

The latest squabbling within the Israeli government is over just which corpses of Palestinians might or might not be turned over to the Palestinian Authority. The government has decided to hold off on the transfer to keep the bodies – some of them Hamas militants killed as long ago as the 1990s – hostage until Gilad Shalit is released. Charming.

Today -100: July 5, 1911: Of race riots and flies

In Hell’s Kitchen, Independence Day was celebrated with a “race riot.” Instigated by the area’s “old timers” who resent the encroachment of Austrian immigrants.

Headline of the Day -100: “Boys Killed 1,250,000 Flies.” A contest in San Antonio. Robert Basse (no age given) won the $10 prize with 484,320 flies.

Visual aids

Reuters: “A mine-awareness team in Uganda was horrified to find an unexploded bomb being used as a bell when it visited a school to teach children how to spot bombs.”

Today -100: July 4, 1911: Of 4th of July torpedoes, Channel crossings, disagreeable surprises, and negro taints

4th of July Story of the, Um, Day -100: Simon Fisher, 46, of Chicago, mistook a 4th of July torpedo (some sort of firecracker, I presume) for a piece of candy. “The ensuing explosion blew away his jaw, inflicting a probably fatal wound.” There’s probably a lesson in there, somewhere.

Taft says in a speech to old soldiers, that all the foreign wars waged by the US, except the Revolution and maybe the Civil War, could have been avoided through arbitration.

The NYT notes that the English Channel was crossed by airplane for the first time only a few months ago, but yesterday eleven planes made the flight from France to England in the space of an hour, which is a great achievement but also a little “disquieting,” given the military implications. “Fortunately, improved instruments for making war do not increase the frequency of wars, but have an opposite tendency. Real wholesale slaughter as a part of the everyday business of life ended when men stopped fighting each other with short swords.” So that’s okay, then.

France expresses “disagreeable surprise” over the German gunboat Panther’s appearance at Agadir.

Headline of the Day -100: “Not Afraid of Negro Taint.” While John B. Collins of St Louis is suing his wife Cora for annulment on the charge that she has some negro blood, her sister Blanche is engaged to automobile dealer Charles Wass, who laughs in the face of negro taints.

Because nothing says austerity like Silvio Berlusconi

The Italian cabinet approves an austerity budget. Henceforth, Berlusconi will throw simple bunga parties.

Ed Miliband Ed Miliband Ed Miliband Ed Miliband Ed Miliband Ed Miliband

My British readers will have seen this interview with Labour leader Ed Miliband last week, in which Ed repeats precisely the same answer about the one-day civil servants’ strike (wrong at this time when negotiations are still going on, the government’s been provocative too, everyone should just get round the table) over and over, expecting it to be cut down to a 10-second soundbite, rather than stuck up on YouTube in all its 2½ minute glory.



Kind of hypnotic, isn’t it?

The ITN interviewer Damon Green has described the whole surreal experience online: “I had an opportunity to ask one last question. I had an urge to say something so stupid, so flippant that he would either have to answer it, or get up and leave. ‘What is the world’s fastest fish?’ ‘Can your dog do tricks?’ ‘Which is your favourite dinosaur?’”

Although obviously Ed Miliband is his own favorite dinosaur.

Education Minister Michael Gove has been criticizing teachers for daring to go on strike, because it is essential that children never miss a single day of school.

Schools were closed for the royal wedding.

The Daily Mail charmingly agrees with Gove:


The sailfish, by the way, is the world’s fastest fish.

Today -100: July 3, 1911: Of serial killers, Sunday speeches, gunboats, pinochle students, and fat men

The Atlanta serial killer has done it again, for the 8th Sunday in a row. Here’s how the NYT alluded to rape in 1911: “It appears that the murder is not committed after the accomplishment of the crime for which negroes are so frequently lynched.”

Taft was traveling yesterday, and crowds showed up each place his train stopped, but he wouldn’t make any speeches because he does not believe in making speeches on Sunday. And it’s too hot.

The German gunboat Panther may or may not have landed troops in Agadir. The semi-official line from Germany now is that the Panther will stay until the French and Spanish troops leave Morocco, which if France and Spain have their way will be never, so the alternative is that Germany also wants a piece of the country if it winds up being partitioned by the European powers. The days when there were still huge swaths of Africa unclaimed as colonies are 30 years in the past, so the competition for the remaining bits is especially fierce. Countries without boots on the ground are also involved: Britain doesn’t want Morocco, but neither does it want Germans sitting on a major port near Gibraltar.

The Federation of American Zionists held its 14th annual convention and discussed plans to purchase 100,000 acres of land in Palestine annually to establish Jewish colonies.

A Bronx gang, the Bergen gang, fight cops in a park where they went “to break up the outing of the Pinochle Students, a Bronx organization”. Sadly, I don’t think the Pinochle Students is the name of a rival gang, as retro-cool as that would be.

Headline of the Day -100: “Fat Men Play Baseball.” The Fat Men’s Club played the East River Pretzel Club. The temperature’s about 100°, is this wise? Unfortunately, Alderman Frank Detzler, the pitcher and 381-pound president of the Fat Men’s Club, dropped the ball, which fell in a swampy spot. Alderman Detzler went to retrieve it, started sinking, and had to be pulled out by the other Fat Men. Maybe all those silent Keystone comedies were really documentaries.

Today -100: July 2, 1911: Of earthquakes, gunboats, pocket moving pictures, crazy Moros, Taft’s soup, bananas, balloons, and hippopotamus skin

Earthquake in San Francisco, the largest since ‘06. No serious damage to buildings, but thousands of underpants need discarding. One man dies of fright. Stronger in Sacramento and Carson City.

Germany sends a gunboat, the Panther, to Agadir, Morocco, with 120 men, ostensibly to protect German businesses and nationals. France is upset because Morocco is mine! mine! mine! Well, technically France is still pretending that its troops are just trying to restore order in Morocco, not to complete its collection of North African colonies, so it’s reduced to complaining that the German move violates a 1909 agreement that Germany has pre-eminent commercial interests in Morocco and France pre-eminent political ones.

A new fad in Berlin: “pocket moving pictures.” You have yourself filmed briefly by a movie camera. Then you can walk around with a box containing a roll of photographs derived from the film, and you turn a crank very quickly to make the photos appear to be moving. All the cool kidz are getting them. Someone plans to import this novelty into the US. I predict it’ll be huge.

Headline of the Day -100: “Kills Crazy Moro and is Commended.” Private John Bonnell of the 2nd Cavalry, in the Sulu province of the Philippines (little-known fact: all provinces in the Philippines are named after Star Trek characters) (c’mon, we were all thinking it), shoots dead a “religion crazed Mohammedan Moro” who had just killed Lt. Walter Rodney. In a letter to his father, Priv. Bonnell (“I like soldiering in Sulu. We have exciting times as the tribes of the Moros are nothing but savages”) writes that not only is he getting a letter of commendation, but also the bloody bolo with which the “wild Moro” killed Lt. Rodney.

Other Headline of the Day -100: “Master Berri Didn’t Step in Taft’s Soup.” And he has a letter from the president to prove it.

Other Other Headline of the Day -100: “Slips on Banana Peel, Dying.” In NY Central Railroad Station, William Buick, evidently a pioneer in slapstick comedy, suffered the fate of all too many pioneers.

Yet Another Headline of the Day -100, because it’s just that kind of day: “Thief Escapes in Balloon.” A pickpocket. An awesome pickpocket. I wonder how many hot air balloon hijackings there have ever been?

A thief who doesn’t escape: Marie Amadeo, Baron Delord, son of the former King Amadeo I of Spain (r.1870-3) and nephew of the late king of Italy, pinched in Paris for trying to shoplift two bottles of scent and a dozen pairs of women’s stockings in a dry goods store. After a little research I can’t believe I took the time to do, I strongly doubt this guy is actually the son of King Amadeo (illegitimate son, which you’d have to read the NYT story quite carefully to realize they were saying).

The US Navy launches its first airplane, a hydroplane, and qualifies its first pilot.

Headline of, oh, you know: “Old Caliph’s Skin a Museum Exhibit.” Does it make this story more weird or less weird that Caliph was a hippopotamus? I can’t decide.

South Dakota can’t degrade pregnant women as human beings, says some killjoy judge

Eighth Circuit Judge Karen Schreier grants an injunction against South Dakota’s anti-abortion bill (which I discussed here and here).

It should be remembered that the supposed justification for this law was to prevent weak-minded females being coerced into abortions against their will. Judge Schreier seems not to share this view of women:

Forcing a woman to divulge to a stranger at a pregnancy help center the fact that she has chosen to undergo an abortion humiliates and degrades her as a human being. The woman will feel degraded by the compulsive nature of the Pregnancy Help Center requirements, which suggest that she has made the ‘wrong’ decision, has not really ‘thought’ about her decision to undergo an abortion, or is ‘not intelligent enough’ to make the decision with the advice of a physician. Furthermore, these women are forced into a hostile environment. ... a woman who chooses to undergo an abortion will experience a high degree of degradation because she will be forced to disclose her decision to someone who is fundamentally opposed to it. Women will also be afraid of being berated, belittled, or confronted about their decision, being subsequently contacted by the pregnancy help center, and having their decision to have an abortion become public information.

Today -100: July 1, 1911: Of unshocking dances

Headline of the Day -100: “Police Not Shocked By Russian Dances.” NY Mayor Gaynor sent the police to the Winter Garden to stop the performance of purportedly lewd Russian ballets, but either they had cleaned up their act or the police were just not as easily outraged as the people who had written the mayor, so the dancing will continue.

Today -100: June 30, 1911: Of wire

The US Grand Jury hands down indictments for 83 members of the Wire Trust for violations of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. The Wire Trust centers on the American Steel and Wire Company, a subsidiary of US Steel. The men are charged with forming an unlawful combination and conspiracy to fix the price of wire at artificially high levels, “to the great and irreparable injury and detriment, financial and moral, of the people of the United States.” Moral?

The NYT weighs in on the subject of “The Negro as a Policeman,” following the NYPD’s hiring of one. It bows to negroes’ “theoretical right to such appointments” but suggests that the greater difficulties they will meet makes hiring them “injudicious as regards the public interest.”