Rick Santorum, king of the unintentional double entendre

The Frothy One: “And I stood up from the very beginning back in 2003 when the Supreme Court was going create a constitutional right to sodomy and said this is wrong we can’t do this. And so I stood up when no one else did and got hammered for it. I stood up and I continue to stand up.”

Persecution avoided. Phew.

This Salon excerpt from Glenn Greenwald’s new book, With Liberty and Justice for Some: How the Law Is Used to Destroy Equality and Protect the Powerful, reminds me that I meant to mention this quote from Little Leon Panetta in yesterday’s NYT, about why he supported impunity for Bush admin torturers: “If I’d spent my time persecuting people for the past, I would have never been able to have gotten any traction to move forward with what I wanted to achieve.”

“Persecuting.” Says it all right there, doesn’t it?

Today -100: October 25, 1911: Of roving bands, the Burgs, and Santa Claus

In Mexico, “roving bands of Zapatistas” are looting and burning villages.

Archduke Ferdinand renounces his archdukitude and all his privileges as a member of the Austrian royal family so he can marry the woman he loves, the daughter of a Swiss professor. He will now be known as plain old Ferdinand Burg and will live with Mrs. Burg in Switzerland. The name Burg was evidently just made up. If you’re confused right now, as I was, it turns out that the Archduke Ferdinand whose assassination started World War I was Franz Ferdinand, and this one is his younger brother Ferdinand Karl. Being out of the royal family (officially banished, in fact) only kept him alive a few months longer than his brother; he died of tuberculosis in 1915; Mrs. Burg died in 1979 at 99.


This year, all letters sent to Santa Claus will be destroyed. In the past few years the Post Office had distributed them to charities, but there were abuses, whatever that means.

Today -100: October 24, 1911: Of race wars, neutrality, and gliders

After yesterday’s race war in Coweta, OK, martial law is in effect. At least for the black population, who are being subjected to mass arrests and whose homes are being searched for weapons by the state militia.

Taft signs a proclamation declaring neutrality in the war between Italy and the Ottoman Empire.

Winston Churchill changes jobs, from home secretary to First Lord of the Admiralty (changing places with Reginald McKenna). Which sounds like a demotion, but Churchill liked to play with boats.

Orville Wright’s glider crashes, but he’s okay. Wright is doing experiments to make airplanes more stable by adding ailerons.

Other aeronautical innovators are continuing the attempts to weaponize the skies. In a first, the Italians are using airplanes for aerial surveillance of Turkish infantry positions in Libya.

Freedom, ain’t it grand

Libya’s new regime legalizes polygamy, which Qaddafi had banned, so there’s that.

The murder of Qaddafi doesn’t bother me as much as the new regime’s instinctive response, which was to lie about it.

Today -100: October 23, 1911: Of race wars, and the greatest nation

A race war is threatened (some would say has already begun) in Coweta, Oklahoma. In a fight, a black man killed the white city attorney and wounded two other white men. He was then lynched – twice. That is, a mob hanged him, but he was cut down before he strangled by white people concerned that it would start a race war. As the deputy sheriff tried to take him to jail, he was shot fifty or so times by people who presumably didn’t share that concern. As this story went to press, blacks were arriving from the surrounding country, threatening to burn the town down. The sheriff is arming the white citizens of Muskogee (20 miles away) to help out and the National Guard is being sent in.

The US government’s chief chemist, Dr. Harvey Wiley, addressing the convention of the National American Woman’s Suffrage Association, says “If a country treats its women right, eats more sugar and consumes more soap per head than any other country, then it is the greatest nation.”

If you’re wondering, by that standard the United States was evidently the greatest nation in 1911. And in 2011 I’m guessing we still have at least the sugar thing nailed.

Preliminary

Hillary Clinton claims the secret meeting with the Haqqani network wasn’t actually a negotiation: “We had one preliminary meeting to essentially just see if they would show up for even a preliminary meeting.”

Today -100: October 22, 1911: It’s a great pleasure to be gold bricked in this way

The latest trendy accessory among the fashionable set in Paris: wild animals – panthers, lions etc. Monkeys, however, have fallen out of favor since last season.

Sun Yat Sen has raised $10,000 in Chicago for the Chinese Revolution.

The US has sent a dozen ships to China to protect American property. And by American property, I mean Standard Oil’s property.

The Newark Telegraph Herald is beginning a new service for its subscribers: having its newspaper read to them over the telephone on trunk lines (so basically like radio). It will offer stock market reports in the early morning, followed by general news, cooking and fashion in the late morning, fashion in the afternoon, children’s stories from 6 to 8, then vaudeville, concert music, opera and whatnot until late.

President Taft visits Deadwood. He “received a noisy welcome”. No word on whether he met Al Swearengen (oh, all right, the cocksucker was dead by then). He went down a gold mine and was given a gold brick worth $300. “It is a great pleasure to gold brick the president,” said Rep. Martin. “It’s a great pleasure to be gold bricked in this way,” replied Taft. Oh, how they laughed.

John McCain has a sad

Because of the announcement of “Ending the War in Iraq,” as the White House website put it. McCain: “Today marks a harmful and sad setback for the United States in the world.”

Let this be a lesson to you, Johnny Depp

Andy Hamilton (on BBC Radio 4’s News Quiz) says Qaddafi’s death proves the old show biz adage that you should be nice to people on the way up because you might meet them again on the way down.

By the way, here’s an old post of mine on Qaddafi that seems rather popular on Google just now.

Today -100: October 21, 1911: Of wars, trilling, and snails

Italian troops bombard and occupy Benghazi.

As promised, suffragists interrupted Roosevelt’s talk at Carnegie Hall when he refused to take their questions. The NYT says they “shouted and trilled ‘Votes for Women! Votes! Votes! Votes for Women!’”

Headline of the Day -100: “Snail Eaters in Despair.” The heat wave in France means there aren’t many snails about.

Something about a short-term no-fly zone, right?

Obama, today: “We did exactly what we said we were going to do in Libya.”

Today -100: October 20, 1911: Of extravagant and fantastic policies

A bill for equal pay for women teachers passes the NY Legislature. The NYT does not approve, calling it an “extravagant and fantastic policy.”

Republican Debate: I’ll bump plans with you, brother

Transcript.

WHAT SORT OF JOBS DO MICHELLE & MARCUS CREATE? SUGGESTIONS IN COMMENTS, PLEASE. Bachmann would oppose a federal sales tax because “my husband and I are job creators.”

She adds that sooner or later liberals would increase it from Cain’s 9% to “maybe 90 percent”.

MANIPULATING THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WITH A 10-MILLION-WORD MESS: Cain says it’s not true that 9-9-9 would raise taxes on most people who aren’t rich, without offering any actual proof. He says “the reason that our plan is being attacked so much is because lobbyists, accountants, politicians, they don’t want to throw out the current tax code and put in something that’s simple and fair. They want to continue to be able to manipulate the American people with a 10-million-word mess.”


Rick Santorum is given the opportunity to inaugurate the Kill Cain with Condescension Campaign™, and does by calling him “well-meaning.” He objects to the elimination of deductions for breeders, saying “we’re going to - we’ve seen that happen in Europe, and what happened? Boom! Birth rates went in the - into the - into the basement.” Boom? That sound effect is a little disturbing. And what’s going on in the basement, exactly?

AND IF THERE’S ONE THING REPUBLICANS CAN’T ABIDE, IT’S KNEE-JERK REACTIONS: Cain responds, “I invite every American to do their own math, because most of these are knee-jerk reactions.” Cain sure knows how to make himself popular with the American people:


I LOVE YOU BROTHER: Perry continues the Kill Cain with Condescension Campaign™: “Herman, I love you, brother, but let me tell you something: You don’t have to have a big analysis to figure this thing out.” Which is just as well, because Perry doesn’t really do “big analysis.” He says that he’ll have his own economic plan at the end of the week; once again, he’s shown up at a debate without an economic plan. But once he does have one, “I’ll bump plans with you, brother - and we’ll see who has the best idea about how you get this country working again.” Do you think he focus-grouped whether he could get away with “bro,” and decided to stick with “brother” instead?


REPLACE THE TAX CODE WITH ORANGES? WHY THAT’S SO CRAZY, IT MIGHT JUST WORK! Perry says that adding a federal sales tax on top of state sales taxes is “not going to fly.” Cain says that’s mixing apples and oranges. “The state tax is an apple. We are replacing the current tax code with oranges. So it’s not correct to mix apples and oranges.” See, I would have thought that the state tax would be the orange and the federal one would be the apple, but then I live in California.

Cain then tells Perry, who hadn’t said a thing about value-added taxes, “So you’re absolutely wrong. It’s not a value-added tax.” He complains that none of his opponents understand the plan. Perhaps because they weren’t thinking in terms of fruit metaphors. Everything’s clearer with fruit metaphors.

Ron Paul says he would replace the income tax with nothing. Not even a citrus fruit of some sort.


THAT’S AN APPLE: Romney asks Cain directly, “are you saying that the state sales tax will also go away?” “No. That’s an apple.” Romney again insists that people would be paying both federal and state sales tax, and Cain increasingly hysterically talks about various fruit products, as if it’s some form of logical argument, and why are people still talking about this after he invoked the argument-ending authority of produce.

Romney joins the Kill Cain with Condescension Campaign™: “I like your chutzpah on this, Herman, but...” As does Gingrich: “I think that Herman Cain deserves a lot of credit. He’s had the courage to go out and take a specific, very big idea,” but...


Bachmann wants everyone to pay taxes, “even if it’s a dollar. Everyone needs to pay something in this country.” I suppose this is isn’t as stupid a strategy as it sounds, since everyone pays taxes and knows they pay taxes, so they’re all willing to stick it to the mythical freeloader who pays no taxes.


Anderson Cooper asks Perry if he’s read Romney’s plan, and for some reason the laziest person in this race fails to answer. He says we need “to create an environment where the men and women get back to work.” Since he plans to end all environmental regulations and drill for every last ounce of oil and coal, I’m assuming that by “environment,” he means “nightmarish hell-scape.” “It’s the reason I laid out a plan, Newt, this last week to get this energy that’s under our feet.” Under your feet in Las Vegas? Have all those bullet-ridden gangsters and strangled prostitutes and chorus girls turned into petroleum already?


Then Gingrich attacks Romneycare, and Romney says he got the idea of individual mandates from Gingrich. Zing!

“YOU LUUUUV MEXICANS.” “NO, YOU LUUUUUUUUUVVVVVV MEXICANS, YOU WANT TO MARRY MEXICANS.” Perry says Texas has “one of the finest health care systems in the world”. And the reason so many people are uninsured there is because of “illegals” and “they’re coming here because there is a magnet. And the magnet is called jobs. And those people that hire illegals ought to be penalized. And Mitt, you lose all of your standing from my perspective because you hired illegals in your home, and you knew for - about it for a year. And the idea that you stand here before us and talk about that you’re strong on immigration is, on its face, the height of hypocrisy.” Romney says giving college tuition credit to “illegals” is a magnet and supports amnesty.


Romney explained that when he was told that his lawn was being mowed by (gasp) illegal aliens, “So we went to the company and we said, look, you can’t have any illegals working on our property. That’s - I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake, I can’t have illegals.”


Herman Cain failed to answer a direct question about whether the border fence he wants would be electrified or not.

Perry wants Predator drones on the border.

Bachmann: “Well, I think the person who really has a problem with illegal immigration in the country is President Obama. It’s his uncle and his aunt who are illegal aliens who’ve been allowed to stay in this country despite the fact that they’re illegal.” She wants a “double-walled fence with a - with a area of security neutrality in between.” I’m not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds rather like the Berlin Wall.

Romney says we just have to “turn off the magnets” – sounds rather like Wile E. Coyote.

Michelle Bachmann agreed: “I think there’s a very real issue with magnets in this country.”


She thinks we need to deal with “anchor babies,” but that somehow she can eliminate the citizenship of people born in this country without amending the 14th Amendment.

HOLD ON, MOMS OUT THERE: Bachmann explains the housing crisis, which evidently mostly effects women in the 1950s or something: “Every day I’m out somewhere in the United States of America, and most of the time I am talking to moms across this country. When you talk about housing, when you talk about foreclosures, you’re talking about women who are at the end of their rope because they’re losing their nest for their children and for their family. And there are women right now all across this country and moms across this country whose husbands, through not fault of their own, are losing their job and they can’t keep that house. And there are women who are losing that house. I’m a mom. I talk to these moms. I just want to say one thing to moms all across America tonight. This is a real issue; it’s got to be solved. .... Hold on, moms out there. It’s not too late.”

CASH WOULD BE FINE: Cain still hates the Occupationistas: “But my point is this: What are the people who are protesting want from bankers on Wall Street? To come downstairs and write them a check? This is what we don’t understand.” They should be protesting at the White House. Obviously.

HOW CAN I TRUST YOU WITH POWER IF YOU DON’T PRAY? Asked if a candidate’s religion should be taken into account, Santorum says yes. Gingrich says yes, because of the Northwest Ordinance of 1787 and “how can you have judgment if you have no faith? And how can I trust you with power if you don’t pray? Who you pray to, how you pray, how you come close to God is between you and God. But the notion that you’re endowed by your creator sets a certain boundary on what we mean by America.”


AMERICANS UNDERSTAND FAITH: Perry: “But the fact is, Americans understand faith, and what they’ve lost faith in is the current resident of the White House.”

Romney: “that idea that we should choose people based upon their religion for public office is what I find to be most troubling”.


WE’RE BEING DISSED! Bachmann says the alleged Iranian assassination plot shows that Iran “disrespect[s] the United States,” and Iraq’s refusal to give immunity to US troops after this year shows “how disrespected the United States is in the world today” and we need to nuke Iran or something. If she is president, “We will be respected again in the world.”

No, really, that’s what she said.

Santorum says Iran “attacked” us (the alleged plot again) because we’re the supreme leader of the secular world.

Perry wants to cut foreign aid and defund the UN, and Palestine is trying “to have themselves approved as a state without going through the proper channels”. Oh dear, did they not fill out all the forms?

Paul, of course, wants to end all foreign aid, even for Israel, which just “teaches them to be dependent.”


Bachmann wants Iraq and Libya to “reimburse” us for “liberating” them.

Cain, who earlier today said that he’d consider letting Guantanamo prisoners go in exchange for American prisoners, now says he would “never agree to letting hostages in Guantanamo Bay go.”

Since everyone was saying they wouldn’t negotiate with terrorists, Ron Paul asks if everyone on the stage would condemn Reagan for the arms-for-hostages deal. Santorum says it’s not the same thing because Iran’s a sovereign country and not a terrorist organization.

Santorum says he can beat Obama, no matter what the polls say, because “No one in this field has won a swing state. Pennsylvania’s a swing state. We win Pennsylvania, we win the election.” And what happened the last time you ran in Pennsylvania?


THE GOOD NEWS: Bachmann: “The good news is the cake is baked. Barack Obama will be a one-term president.” She added, “I am the most different candidate from Barack Obama than anyone on this stage.”

Gingrich says he’s the strongest candidate “because of sheer substance”. And he would challenge Obama to seven three-hour debates. Anderson Cooper says CNN would love to host them. Speaking for every blogger, everyone on Twitter who covers these things, No. Just no.

Today -100: October 19, 1911: Of Nanking, brown people over the sea, heckling, theories the great American government cannot be run upon, & marijuana

The Chinese revolutionaries seem to have captured Nanking.

Vice President James Sherman says the US has really improved conditions in the Philippines or, as he puts it, “we are and have been pursuing the wise course and we have brought to these brown people over the sea blessings which they never could have acquired had they remained under Spanish rule or been left to themselves.” One of those blessings: when we arrived Filipinos spoke many different dialects; soon, according to Sherman, they will only speak English.

Elizabeth Freeman, a suffragist who spent some time in Britain studying the more radical tactics of the movement there, announces at the annual convention of the Woman Suffrage Party of Manhattan that she plans to heckle Teddy Roosevelt at Carnegie Hall: “I shall send up some written questions, and if they are not answered I shall get up and ask them as we did in England. I understand it is not the custom here to ask questions verbally or heckle, but heckling would do good.”

Secretary of Agriculture James Wilson speaks at the International Brewers’ Congress, to the great outrage of prohibitionists. Wilson says prohibitionists probably have the best of motives, but “the great American government cannot be run upon the theories they hold.”

California’s inspector of the State Board of Pharmacy asks the state to add marijuana to the list of banned narcotics.

Headline of the Day

Associated Press: “KC Bishop Charged for Not Bringing Porn to Police.” Too lazy to download their own? Or did they figure a bishop probably has the best stuff?

Today -100: October 18, 1911: You have got to become part of those awful people

Taft, in California, has some advice for the newly enfranchised women of the state: “It won’t do for you to say, ‘Oh well, we will not go down to those awful polls where those awful persons stand around.’ You have got to become part of those awful people and make those awful persons better. ... Meanwhile we, of the slow and more conservative East, will watch the things you are going to try, and follow you and avoid the pitfalls that you may encounter.”

Um, right

Sirte:

Today -100: October 17, 1911: Of progressives, dynamite, marines, and lynchings

The Progressive Republicans (curious creatures, now sadly extinct) hold their first convention and endorse Robert La Follette for president in 1912. And they want presidential primaries to enable them to make that choice.

Some other people who don’t like President Taft plant dynamite under a viaduct in California over which his train was scheduled to pass.

The US is sending the cruiser New Orleans, and 100 marines, to Shanghai.

Black man allegedly attacks white woman in Forest City, Tenn., and... oh, you know, the usual.

Over-identify much?

Obama, at the Martin Luther King Memorial dedication: “Even after rising to prominence, even after winning the Nobel Peace Prize, Dr. King was vilified by many, denounced as a rabble rouser and an agitator, a communist and a radical. He was even attacked by his own people, by those who felt he was going too fast or those who felt he was going too slow”.