Today -100: April 12, 1912: Of weapons, icebergs, contentious conventions, and Irish Home Rule

The House passes a bill banning weapons in D.C., including knives with blades longer than three inches.

Foreboding Headline of the Day -100: “Carmania [a Cunard liner] Meeting Many Icebergs.”

The Republican state convention in Michigan turns into a riot between Taft & Roosevelt supporters. Both sides name their own delegates to Chicago, literally at the same time and in the same hall.

Prime Minister Asquith introduces the Irish Home Rule bill.

Bottom up

Obama yesterday: “In this country, prosperity has never trickled down from the wealthy few. Prosperity has always come from the bottom up, from a strong and growing middle-class.”

See, Barack, the middle class are not the bottom, thus the word “middle.” You have literally forgotten about the existence of the poor, or “lower” class.

Today -100: April 11, 1912: Of primaries, reds, titanics, and human dykes

The Republican establishment in Illinois is scheming to rob Roosevelt of the fruit of his primary upset by controlling the Congressional-district conventions and selecting Taft delegates to the national convention.

The NYT, in denial, insists that Illinois did not, all appearances to the contrary, go Progressive. They say this is proved by the strong vote for former Speaker Joe Cannon, a reactionary old-guard Republican, in his district. They say the real issue in Illinois is not Taft or Roosevelt but Senator William Lorimer (R). Lorimer was just “cleared” by another whitewashing investigation into his bribery-fueled election to the Senate, but was denounced loudly by Roosevelt in speeches right there in Illinois (Spoiler Alert: Lorimer will finally be expelled in July). Roosevelt said that Taft, Lorimer, Guggenheim, and their allies want to make “a government by corporation attorneys.” The NYT says this language shows he is not fit to be president.

Taft’s people also insist their Illinois defeat was due to “local issues.”

Roosevelt, who speaks entirely in editorial cartoons, says “We knocked them over the ropes in Illinois.”

Some desperate Republicans are suggesting that the party needs some third candidate in place of Taft or TR, such as Supreme Court Justice and recent NY governor Charles Evans Hughes.

There is some question whether the Electoral College this year should be based on the pre- or post-reapportionment numbers.

A Superior Court judge in Seattle is asking suspected “reds” applying for citizenship whether they would obey court orders that conflicted with those of their union. When one Lars Emanuel Boman said “A man who belongs to an organization should stick to it,” the judge told him to fuck off, and if anyone else in the court “would supplant the Stars and Stripes with the red flag,” they could also fuck off. A dozen walked out.

The Ohio Constitutional Convention rescinds its invitation to US Assistant Attorney General William Lewis to speak, presumably after realizing that he’s black.

Foreboding Headline of the Day -100: “Titanic In Peril on Leaving Port.” The huge ship created so much suction (I know there’s a technical boating term for that) that another liner broke free of its mooring and almost crashed into it.

Headline of the Day -100: “Human Dike Used to Hold Back Flood. Negroes Lie on Top of Weakening Levee and Save Day Near Greenville, Miss.” Yes, when they ran out of sandbags, they used negroes.

I wish they weren’t called the Bush tax cuts

George Bush says he wishes the Bush tax cuts weren’t called the Bush tax cuts, because “If they were called someone else’s tax cuts, they’d be less likely to be raised,” because everyone hates him. Evidently someone finally told Bush that everyone hates him. Good. I’d hate if he went the rest of his life without coming to that realization.

Oh wait, then he says he doesn’t criticize Obama because “I don’t think it’s good for our country to undermine our president and I don’t intend to do so.” So evidently he still thinks that his criticizing Obama would undermine Obama. I guess he doesn’t realize that everyone hates him after all. Sigh.

IN OTHER WORDS: “we believe that government oughta trust the people, the collective wisdom of the people. In other words, we trust people when it comes to spending their money, and so should the government.”

SO-CALLED BECAUSE THEY FUCKING ARE: He objects to taxes being raised on “the so-called rich.”

WHAT THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD OFTEN ASK HIM: “I’m often asked ‘Do you miss the presidency?’ I really don’t.” Although “it was really inconvenient having to stop at stop lights”. Actually, he may just miss the days of drunk driving all over Houston.

A fair fight

Maverick John McCain & Holy Joe Lieberman issue a statement from a refugee camp for Syrians in Turkey, saying the usual stuff. Including that the international community needs to supply the Syrian rebels with arms because “The slaughter in Syria has now claimed more than 10,000 lives. And it is not a fair fight.”

No one who uses the term “fair fight” about a war deserves to be taken seriously.

Today -100: April 10, 1912: The man that pulls the rope should hang by the rope

There have been few real opportunities to test the relative popularity of Taft & Roosevelt, with there being so few primaries and no such thing as opinion polls. This means that the Illinois primary is especially important symbolically and as a measure of what the voters might do in November. And TR kicked Taft’s ample behind, gaining more than twice as many votes. Roosevelt supporters are making the case that while the Tafties, with their tight grip on the party machinery, can secure Taft’s re-nomination, the Illinois primary shows that he’s too unpopular to win the general election.

On the Democrat side, Speaker of the House Champ Clark beat Woodrow Wilson by better than 3 to 1.

A black man, Thomas Miles, is lynched in Shreveport, LA, after he is acquitted “because positive proof was lacking that he wrote letters to a young white woman”.

Pres. Taft makes an anti-lynching speech at Howard University, saying “The man that pulls the rope should hang by the rope.”

NY Governor Dix is planning a European vacation. On the Titanic, when it returns to England from its maiden voyage (which commences.... today).

Long division

One of Obama’s spokesmodels calls an anti-gay marriage initiative “divisive,” which is a rather weak way of saying hate-mongering. Also, as far as I know Obama still opposes gay marriage but he’s against anti-gay marriage measures – how does that work?

Anyway, it just reminded me that I’ve been meaning to point out that “divisive” is the trendy tut-tutting put-down of this election cycle, used by all sides (so everyone’s united against divisiveness, because disagreement is icky). Newt Gingrich, for example, has used it against Obama’s comment that Trayvon Martin looked like his hypothetical son, and Romney against the Occupy movement.

Today -100: April 9, 1912: Of delegates, the elusive Christabel, and dead guards

The Louisiana Republican Convention excludes “several negroes who declared they were delegates”. Pro-Roosevelt delegates.

Christabel Pankhurst Rumor of the Day: Boston, she’s totally in Boston (she isn’t).

Headline of the Day -100: “Dead Man on Guard Over Insane Woman.”

Today -100: April 8, 1912: Of fighting senators, Mormons, and women in Turkey

Headline of the Day -100 (LAT): “Senator From Arizona Fights Negro.” Marcus Aurelius Smith (D), a new senator from the new state, beat up a hotel elevator operator who finished taking another passenger up when the senator wanted to be taken down.

The Mormon church comes out in support of Taft. So that settles that.

The British Daily Chronicle reports on the backlash against women’s rights in Turkey. Women were briefly encouraged to liberate themselves at least a little after the 1909 revolution, but some of those who, for example, stopped wearing the veil, have been beaten by their fathers, divorced by their husbands, etc. The government has also cracked down on women entering European shops without escorts, gatherings of women, etc.

Today -100: April 7, 1912: It’s a vagina, not a troop-carrier

Rep. William Francis (D-Ohio) introduces a bill to grant a pension to a Mrs. Sarah Brandon, 16 of whose children (out of, dear Christ, 33 total) fought for the North during the Civil War. She claims to be 114 years old.

More vigilante anti-Wobblie activity in San Diego: 5 masked men kidnap a pro-IWW newspaper editor, drive him 25 miles, and turn him loose in Escondido.

Today -100: April 6, 1912: Of the elusive Christabel and airboatmanship

Christabel Pankhurst Rumor of the Day: The NYT says that Christabel Pankhurst wasn’t on the Mauretania after all, but she was definitely spotted dining at the Hotel Majestic in NYC. Nope.

The captain in charge of the US Navy’s aviation dept says the word for the art of flying hydro-airplanes should be “airboatmanship.” So that’s that settled (this post will bring the total number of Google hits for the word airboatmanship to 3).

Today -100: April 5, 1912: Of cats, piles of skulls, fugitives, and forced flag-kissing

Germany is considering a tax on cats to pay for armaments.

President David Starr Jordan of Stanford University says that nations should be gentlemen and arbitrate their differences rather than go to war. He says that if the skulls of the victims of the Napoleonic Wars were placed together, the pile would be 31 times as tall as the Washington Monument, and 31,000 times as awesome. Okay, he didn’t say that last part, but it totally would be.

Christabel Pankhurst Rumor of the Day: The NYT reports that fugitive British suffragette Christabel Pankhurst has reached the United States and is living in NYC under an assumed name. According to a Major George William Horsfield, who claims to have spotted her aboard the Mauretania and seen through her clever disguise (a veil), “No one who has ever seen her aggressive-looking face, with its over-hanging black eyebrows, could make a mistake.” And yet...

Deputies and armed San Diegans meet a train on which 100 Wobblies were arriving and force them to kiss the American flag, then throw them out of the county into Orange County.

I think they take their responsibilities very seriously

Obama gave a speech yesterday to the Associated Press Luncheon.

BOY, THAT GUY’LL BE KIND OF FUCKED, WILL HE? HATE TO BE THAT GUY. “Whoever he may be, the next president will inherit an economy that is recovering, but not yet recovered, from the worst economic calamity since the Great Depression.”

“TOO MANY,” HE SAYS, BUT HE NEVER TELLS US HOW MANY IS JUST THE RIGHT NUMBER: “Too many Americans will still be looking for a job that pays enough to cover their bills or their mortgage. Too many citizens will still lack the sort of financial security that started slipping away years before this recession hit.”

AND LET’S FACE IT, WE DON’T MAKE ANYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY ANY MORE: “I believe this is a make-or-break moment for the middle class”.

ALSO, TRYING TO IMPRESS CHICKS: “I believe deeply that the free market is the greatest force for economic progress in human history.”

RUPERT MURDOCH? “Show me a business leader who wouldn’t profit if more Americans could afford to get the skills and education that today’s jobs require.”

THE ENTIRE ECONOMY? WHAT ABOUT THE CAR ELEVATOR BUSINESS? “What drags down our entire economy is when there’s an ever-widening chasm between the ultra-rich and everybody else.”

He says the “trickle down theory” has been tried and failed, and that Paul Ryan’s budget (he never mentioned Ryan by name) is “so far to the right it makes the Contract with America look like the New Deal.” He notes that Romney (he does invoke the Mittster’s name) called the Ryan budget “marvelous.” He calls it “a Trojan Horse” and “thinly veiled social Darwinism.” So it’s social Darwinism in a wooden horse which is wearing a veil.

OBAMA WANTS TO BE JUST LIKE REAGAN, IF ONLY THE REPUBLICANS WOULD LET HIM: “Ronald Reagan, who, as I recall, is not accused of being a tax-and-spend socialist, understood repeatedly that when the deficit started to get out of control, that for him to make a deal he would have to propose both spending cuts and tax increases. Did it multiple times. He could not get through a Republican primary today.” The deficit didn’t “get out of control,” Reagan and the Republicans cut taxes drastically on the rich, then pretended to be shocked at the increase in the deficit.

NOTE HOW HE ZOOMS RIGHT IN ON THE IMPORTANT THING ABOUT “SIGNIFICANT CHANGES TO ENTITLEMENT”: THE EFFECT ON DEMOCRATS’ POLITICAL INTERESTS. “I’ve got some of the most liberal Democrats in Congress who were prepared to make significant changes to entitlements that go against their political interests, and who said they were willing to do it. And we couldn’t get a Republican to stand up and say, we’ll raise some revenue, or even to suggest that we won’t give more tax cuts to people who don’t need them.”

He goes on to point out that all of his current positions are the past positions of Republicans: cap & trade, mandatory insurance, etc.


I DIDN’T LEAVE THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, THE REPUBLICAN PARTY LEFT ME: “So as all of you are doing your reporting, I think it’s important to remember that the positions I’m taking now on the budget and a host of other issues, if we had been having this discussion 20 years ago, or even 15 years ago, would have been considered squarely centrist positions. What’s changed is the center of the Republican Party.” Although to be fair I don’t think they’d have liked the idea of a black president back then either.

WILLING? WE ARE TOTALLY SCREWED. “And that’s part of what this election and what this debate will need to be about, is, are we, as a country, willing to get back to common-sense, balanced, fair solutions that encourage our long-term economic growth and stabilize our budget.”

SO TOTALLY, TOTALLY SCREWED: “So I don’t anticipate the Court striking [health care reform] down. I think they take their responsibilities very seriously.”

Today -100: April 4, 1912: Of universal alphabets, small sheep men, and auto bandits

Alexander Graham Bell testifies before the House Committee on Foreign Affairs in support of adoption of a universal alphabet.

Headline of the Day -100: “Taft Aids Small Sheep Men.”

Paris police capture the head of the gang of auto bandits that’s been plaguing the city (bandits who use cars, not car thieves). Before they could stop him, he swallowed something and shouted, “Ah, now it is good-bye to all.” However, what he evidently thought was prussic acid wasn’t, so it wasn’t good-bye to all.

Comments

Okay, I enabled Blogspot’s commenting system, as of the previous post, but it only shows up on that post’s unique URL, not on the home page. Anyone know what’s wrong?

This atrocious act

Palestine has committed another “atrocious act” proving its “failure to meet the basic requisites of peace.” It must be punished.

Today -100: April 3, 1912: Of election joy, hissing carnivals, aroused Republicans, titanic tests and sacrifice cults

Robert La Follette wins the Wisconsin Republican primary.

Headline of the Day -100: “Dies of Joy Over Election.” Some dude upon hearing the news that his son won an alderman race in Chicago. Which turned out to be wrong.

Hissing Headline of the Day -100: “Suffragists Hold a Hissing Carnival.” Hissing at politicians in Albany (where a women’s suffrage bill was just passed, then tabled) during speeches given at a benefit performance of Shaw’s pro-suffrage play “Press Cuttings” (not his best work).

Sexy Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “Republicans Are Aroused.” Taft supporters in Riverside start a newspaper. Presumably so they can use it to cover their arousal.

Foreshadowing Headline of the Day -100: “Titanic Tests Her Speed.”

The Massachusetts Legislature votes against women’s suffrage.

Remember the voodoo sacrifice cult in Louisiana and Texas? The NYT runs its, what, third story? about the group responsible for the murders of 35 black people, after the head, one Clementine Barnabet, is arrested and confesses to personally killing 17 of those victims.

Today -100: April 2, 1912: Insert Michael Moore reference here

Flint, Michigan’s socialist mayor, John Menton, is defeated for re-election by a Democrat-Republican coalition after one term in office.

One of these is not like the others

Caption contest (in the UAE, the foreign ministers of Saudi Arabia, the United States, and Kuwait).



Bonus question: any preferences for a commenting system to replace JS-Kit/Haloscan? Disqus or Blogspot?

Today -100: April 1, 1912: Of protectorates, maniacs, and invasions

The sultan of Morocco is coerced into signing a treaty of “protectorate” with France.

The “maniac” who attacked Sen. Thomas Gore with a club yesterday had actually wanted to kill Theodore Roosevelt (Jesus told him to do it after a head injury, or something), but TR took a different route through Wisconsin and I guess a blind guy makes an easier target.

Secretary of War Stimson is denying reports in the NYT that various national guard commanders were called to Washington to plan for a possible invasion of Mexico.