Today -100: January 4, 1913: Of unions, insane congressmen, kinetophones, notaries public, and dandelions

Two of the trade unionists recently convicted of dynamite offenses are re-elected to their union posts (ironworkers, I think).

Two Congressional deaths this week: Ark. Sen. (and former Gov.) Jefferson Davis (no relation, although if you thought there was, he wouldn’t go far out of his way to correct you), a big fan of lynching, dies of apoplexy, and William Wedemeyer (R-Mich.), who lost his bid for re-election, goes insane on a trip to Panama, jumps off the steamship which was taking him back to a nice padded room in the states, and drowns.

Thomas Edison invents the Kinetophone, a phonograph record (cylinder) synched with a moving picture (it will prove unsatisfactory, and Edison will drop it when a warehouse fire destroys most of the recordings).

South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease conducts a little purge, revoking the commissions of many notaries public who are opposed to him politically or who, he claims, wagered on the 1912 Democratic primary.

Headline of the Day -100: “Rockefeller Picks Dandelions.”

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Today -100: January 3, 1913: Of figurative and literal duels

The new NY Governor William Sulzer says that he and not Boss Murphy of Tammany is the leader of the Democrats in New York State. Good luck with that, Bill.

The president of the lower house of the Hungarian Parliament, Count István Tisza (a former and future prime minister), and the opposition leader (and future prime minister and president) Count Mihály Károlyi, fight a duel, after Károlyi refused to shake Tisza’s hand. In the duel, Tisza wounds Károlyi’s arm with his sword.

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Today -100: January 2, 1913: Of home rule, dumb princes, football riots, serfs, and minstrel jokes

Debate continues in the British Parliament on the Irish Home Rule Bill. Sir Edward Carson proposes an amendment to exclude Ulster. Prime Minister Asquith says no, and asks what would it take to prevent civil war in Ireland – another general election, a referendum? Opposition leader Bonar Law says if a referendum for home rule were passed, he would not encourage Ulster to resist, but without it, he would encourage resistance. Winston Churchill pointedly asks if he’s encouraging resistance now, and all parliamentary hell breaks loose, as was the custom. Bonar Law says that Ulster would sooner accept rule by a foreign power than by Dublin. Churchill “suggest[s] that Germany would meet the wishes of the Ulstermen”; more hell breaks loose. Bonar Law says that if the Home Rule Bill passes, “Let there be a rebellion, and I will assist.” Carson’s Ulster-exclusion amendment loses 294-197.

Prince Albert (the future King George VI) comes in 64th out of 65 naval cadets in his exams.

France has its very first football riot. The French team lost to the Scottish team 21-3 but evidently it was all the refs’ fault.

Russia abolishes serfdom. I thought they’d done that 50 years before, but evidently they exempted the Caucasus until now.

A holiday treat at San Quentin Prison: minstrel jokes. I don’t recall seeing that episode of “Oz.”

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Today -100: January 1, 1913: Of woman-like women’s suffragists, foreclosing on China, censorship, and scared empresses

The suffragist pilgrims who walked from New York City to Albany meet NY Governor-elect Sulzer, who pledges his complete support for women’s suffrage in New York. Reading their message, he informs them that his name is not William L. Sulzer, “it’s plain Bill Sulzer,” leading the NYT to report, not at all snidely, “‘I know his name is William L.,’ afterward persisted Gen. [Rosalie] Jones, woman-like.”

Headline of the Day -100: “Russian Threat to Foreclose on China.” China defaults on its indemnity to the six Powers (I think for the death of foreigners during the Boxer Rebellion). Russia is thinking about seizing, say, Manchuria, as collateral.

NYC Mayor William Gaynor vetoes an ordinance introducing censorship of the movies (by censors appointed by the Board of Education). He thinks it’s unnecessary because people simply wouldn’t go to immoral, obscene movies. What do the would-be censors think this is, he asks, Russia?

As of today, the US post office handles parcels (up to 11 pounds) as well as letters. In the next few days the NYT will be full of stories of people sending things through the parcel post they’re not supposed to be sending through the parcel post –- like opossums.

Imperial Headline of the Day -100: “Airship Scared Empress.” Someone dropped a wreath on the Potsdam palace on her birthday. In future, German airmen are requested not to fly over castles.

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Obama and the Fiscal Cliff of Doom

Obama made a little speech today about the fiscal cliff. I’m not going to analyze that speech, because I have better things to do on New Year’s Eve (for example: pretending that I have better things to do on New Year’s Eve), I just want to note that he brought out a bunch of “middle-class Americans” as props, just in case you didn’t know what middle-class Americans look like. Did you know that “wealthy individuals, the biggest corporations... take advantage of loopholes and deductions that aren’t available to most of the folks standing up here”? Look at them! LOOK AT THEM!

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Today -100: December 31, 1912: Guns don’t kill people, future Democratic presidential candidates kill people

12-year-old Adlai E. Stevenson II – grandson of Grover Cleveland’s Vice President, Democratic candidate for president in 1952 and 1956 – accidentally shoots and kills 16-year-old Ruth Merwin. He was demonstrating rifle drill to friends with what he thought was an unloaded rifle when it went off.

Editorial Headline of the Day -100: “Preachers Are Aroused.” They want the saloons in Chicago closed by the regular statutory hour of 1 a.m. on New Year’s.

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Today -100: December 30, 1912: Of promised lands

Dr. Max Nordau, president of the 10th Zionist Congress, suggests that if the Ottoman Empire is being divided up, maybe the Jews could get Palestine now? OKTHX.

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Do they have weapons?

Hateblogger Pamela Gellar sued the NY subway system to be allowed to put up this ad.

Am I the only one who can’t help thinking of this?

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Caption contest

Auditioning replacements for Lieberman in the “Three Amigos.”

“I’m having another ‘Nam flashback, right? RIGHT?”

“I eat the cookie and throw away the filling because I’m a FUCKING MAVERICK!”

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Today -100: December 29, 1912: Of depopulation and dynamite

The French government is forming a commission to investigate France’s stagnating birth rate. The president of the French League for Women’s Rights pointed out that of the 250 doctors, professors, government officials, writers etc appointed to the commission, none are actually, you know, women.

38 members of the International Association of Bridge and Structural Iron Workers are convicted of transporting dynamite (on trains, which is illegal) which was used in various labor disputes to... make a point. The Indiana jury was composed almost entirely of farmers. (No one got prison terms greater than four years and 6 received suspended sentences.)

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Today -100: December 28, 1912: How... festive

Famous children’s singer Kitty Cheatham gives a holiday performance, delighting her audience with songs and Negro stories.

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Today -100: December 27, 1912: A likely story

Panama denies that the explosion yesterday was an attempt to kill Taft. Rather, it was the result of a trade dispute between some Spaniards.

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Today -100: December 26, 1912: Of assassination attempts, disputed mountains, night riders, and cannibals

In a possible assassination attempt, dynamite explodes in a news stand in Panama City fifteen minutes after President Taft passed by it.

At the Balkan War peace talks, everyone’s a little concerned by the fact that Austria hasn’t demobilized its army, presumably as a way of putting pressure on Serbia and Montenegro not to demand too much new territory. But the Montenegrin negotiator says that Montenegro would rather be exterminated than yield Mount Lowehen or Scutari. I’m sure it’s a very nice mountain.

As I mentioned on the 17th, there is a movement in northern Georgia to ethnically cleanse all negroes from the region, supposedly because of “numerous attacks on white women” (numerous seems to mean three; one of the alleged perpetrators was lynched, the rest executed). The anti-negro campaign began two months ago in Forsyth County and spread to a dozen other counties. The threats made by “night riders” against negroes have expanded: white planters who still employ negroes are being threatened with having their barns and homes burned.

Headline of the Day -100: “Cannibals Fed Him Well.” South American tribesmen who were so nice to a journalist/adventurer that he panicked, decided they must be fattening him up for the pot, and “escaped.”

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Today -100: December 25, 1912: Of negro invasions and trousers

Headline of the Day -100: “Negro Invasion Planned.” Some wealthy negroes, including boxer Jack Johnson, have bought an estate at Lake Geneva, which the NYT says is only the first step in a fiendish scheme to invade “fashionable resorts of the white race, both North and South, in the guise of athletic and social clubs”.

Today -100, -100: “The lively discussion of the advisability of celebrating the 100th anniversary of the institution of trousers is worthy of a serious note of comment.” No, no it isn’t.

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Today -100: December 24, 1912: Of assassins and elephants

A bomb is thrown at the Viceroy of India, Lord Hardinge, while he was making his state entry into Delhi, the new capital of British India, riding an elephant because of course he was. He was injured, not seriously, and his wife’s okay, but the mahout (elephant driver, wrangler, whatever) was killed. And the elephant? Not a damn word on its condition.

The head of the US Navy’s aviation corps says that the leading nation in military aviation is... France.

Bavaria’s prince regent Ludwig says he doesn’t want to be named mad king.

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Comments

Fed up with the proliferating spam comments, I’ve instituted word verification, and if I can’t make out what those words are supposed to be, then neither can the spammers. Wait, what?

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Today -100: December 23, 1912: Of assassins

An anarchist chosen by lot to assassinate Italy’s King Victor Emmanuel instead tries to commit suicide. Since he didn’t manage to kill himself even by shooting himself in the head, I have to think the danger he posed to the king was never all that great.

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Today -100: December 22, 1912: Who makes war?

The London Times wonders why it is that Europe might head to a general war over the question of whether Serbia should get a port on the Adriatic. The people of Europe sure don’t want war, so “Who, then, makes war? The answer is to be found in the Chancelleries of Europe, among the men who have too long played with human lives as pawns in a game of chess, who have become so enmeshed in formulas and the jargon of diplomacy that they have ceased to be conscious of the poignant realities with which they trifle.”

Ah, the Sunday New York Times. I always enjoy reading the headlines of fashion articles without clicking through to the articles. Today: “Italian and Chinese Wars Have Affected Women’s Hats – May Not Be Able to Wear Milan and Straw.”

The Idaho Supreme Court asked the publisher of the Boise Capital News to tell it why he should not be jailed for contempt of court for printing Theodore Roosevelt’s comments on its decision keeping him off the November ballot (which was, legally speaking, a fairly ridiculous decision). The publisher said, “Um, the First Amendment?” The Court rejects that.

Headline of the Day -100: “Lynched for Unusual Crime.” In Norway, South Carolina, a man is lynched for obtaining money under false pretenses. An unusual crime to be lynched for, but the usual race.

Scientists quoted (but not named) in the LAT blame the Latin American propensity for rebellion and revolution on fleas, which disrupt slumber and make everyone cranky. “The scientists assert that no nation can be great whose sleep is broken into fitful snoozes.”

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Wayne LaPierre asks the hard questions

“Since when did the word ‘gun’ automatically become a bad word?”

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Today -100: December 21, 1912: Of mad kings

Bavaria has been part of a unified Germany for 40 years but still retains its own mad king. Now it plans to rewrite its constitution to dethrone Mad King Otto (to give him his full legal title) and replace him with a presumably less mad king, his cousin Ludwig, who recently took over as prince-regent after the death of the previous prince-regent, his father. Mad King Otto has been the mad king since the death of Mad King Ludwig II in 1886, although they haven’t let him out of the part of the palace with the bars on the windows in all that time and he may or may not actually know that he’s the mad king.

Does the fact that I really enjoyed typing “mad king” so many times make me a bad person?

Gov. Hunt of Arizona wants to abolish the state senate. He says it over-complicates things and anyway with the introduction of the referendum and initiative, the people themselves act in essence as the second house of the Legislature.

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