Today -100: January 12, 1913: Of self-starters, war dead, and dressing for the theater

One of the automobile articles in today -100’s Sunday NY Times reports that the new self-starters have resulted in more auto purchases by women, who had been put off by all that cranking (that came out dirtier than I intended) (Update: but is it as dirty as this?: “It means a stoop and a pull, more or less vigorous in proportion to the power of the motor and its mood on the particular occasion.”). Another feature making automobiling easier and cleaner: electrical lighting, with headlamps no longer requiring oil lamps and matches.

Bulgaria admits to having lost 21,302 dead in the Balkan War (which is just on hiatus). Meanwhile, people back home are dying from infectious diseases since all the doctors are off treating wounded soldiers.

The Savoy Theatre in London has announced that patrons need not wear evening dress. Clearly this is the beginning of the end of the British Empire. The revolt against the old custom is partly from theatre-going members of the middle class who don’t have time to go home and dress because they, you know, work for a living, as well as American tourists.

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A responsible end

Today, the 11th anniversary of the arrival of the first illegally detained prisoner at Guantanamo, Obama met with Hamid Karzai. He took the opportunity to use the word responsible. A lot. “[by the end of 2014] Afghans will have full responsibility for their security, and this war will come to a responsible end.” “a responsible drawdown”. “And next year, this long war will come to a responsible end.” “a responsible plan”, “a responsible Afghan government” etc.

Where can I get me one of those hats?
UNFORTUNATELY, BY “AFGHAN FORCES,” I MEAN THE TALIBAN: “soon nearly 90 percent of Afghans will live in areas where Afghan forces are in the lead for their own security.”

“WITHIN REACH” IS THE NEW “LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL”: “With the devastating blows we’ve struck against al Qaeda, our core objective -- the reason we went to war in the first place -- is now within reach: ensuring that al Qaeda can never again use Afghanistan to launch attacks against our country.”

MORE SECURE – WE’RE TOTALLY WINNING THIS WEAKEST AND MOST VAGUE OF METRICS: “Today, most major cities -- and most Afghans -- are more secure, and insurgents have continued to lose territory.”

SEE? AFGHANS ARE DYING, SO IT WAS ALL TOTALLY WORTH IT: “And of all the men and women in uniform in Afghanistan, the vast majority are Afghans who are fighting and dying for their country every day.”

A DIFFERENT MISSION: “Starting this spring, our troops will have a different mission -- training, advising, assisting Afghan forces.”

AND NOTHING SAYS RESPECT FOR AFGHAN SOVEREIGNTY LIKE HEAVILY ARMED FOREIGN TROOPS WITH FULL IMMUNITY FROM AFGHAN LAWS: “Our teams continue to work toward a security agreement. And as they do, they will be guided by our respect for Afghan sovereignty”.

The talks with the Afghan government are about how many American troops will remain after 2014 and on the continuation of “targeted counterterrorism missions against al Qaeda and its affiliates,” in case you thought Obama actually planned to end this war two years from now.

DOES ANYONE KNOW THE EXACT DATE ON WHICH OBAMA GAVE UP EVEN PRETENDING THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DEFEAT THE TALIBAN? “So we recommitted our nations to a reconciliation process between the Afghan government and the Taliban.”

I GUESS THE AFGHAN PEOPLE’S SACRIFICES ARE SIGNIFICANT BUT NOT TREMENDOUS: “Our forces continue to serve and make tremendous sacrifices every day. The Afghan people make significant sacrifices every day.”

Then Karzai spoke. He said the talks have made progress on issues of Afghan sovereignty, which he seems to define largely in terms of getting hold of the detainees currently held by the American military, an issue that for some reason Obama failed to mention.

He did mention the “hope” that he’ll be conducting “a free and fair election” some time, “without interference.”

I notice both Obama and Karzai refer to the war as having lasted 10 years, when it has in fact been more than 11.

WHAT HE’LL BE BRINGING BACK TO AFGHANISTAN: “I’ll be going back to Afghanistan this evening to bring to the Afghan people the news of Afghanistan standing shoulder to shoulder with America as a sovereign, independent country, but in cooperation and in partnership.”

Q&A time.

BECAUSE NOTHING PROMOTES FEELINGS OF COMFORT LIKE MASSIVELY ARMED FOREIGN SOLDIERS: Obama: “If we have a follow-on force of any sort past 2014, it has to be at the invitation of the Afghan government and they have to feel comfortable with it.”

PROTECTED: Obama on immunity for US troops in Afghanistan: “That’s how I, as Commander-in-Chief, can make sure that our folks are protected in carrying out very difficult missions.” Protected from what? The consequences of their actions?

Oddly, Karzai expressed complete lack of interest in the number of American troops that will remain in Afghanistan in 2015 and beyond: “That’s not for us to decide. It’s an issue for the United States. Numbers are not going to make a difference to the situation in Afghanistan.”

Has it all been worth it? Obama says absolutely: “we achieved our central goal, which is -- or have come very close to achieving our central goal -- which is to de-capacitate al Qaeda; to dismantle them; to make sure that they can’t attack us again. And everything that we’ve done over the last 10 years from the perspective of the U.S. national security interests have been focused on that aim.” Everything? Everything???

THE POSSIBILITY: Indeed, “there’s no doubt that the possibility of peace and prosperity in Afghanistan today is higher than before we went in.” Way to set the bar really, really high.

THE BEST OF SCENARIOS: “have we achieved everything that some might have imagined us achieving in the best of scenarios? Probably not. This is a human enterprise and you fall short of the ideal. Did we achieve our central goal, and have we been able I think to shape a strong relationship with a responsible Afghan government that is willing to cooperate with us to make sure that it is not a launching pad for future attacks against the United States? We have achieved that goal. We are in the process of achieving that goal.” It’s all about the process.

An Afghan reporter asks what protections women have that they won’t be screwed by the “reconciliation” process. Obama says it’s not up to us, and “The Afghan constitution protects the rights of Afghan women.” Of course it does.

No, really, where can I get me one of those hats?

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Today -100: January 11, 1913: Progress!

Booker T. Washington (in a letter to the NYT) says that the attitude in the South, including among newspapers and governors who aren’t Coleman Blease, is turning against lynching. He notes that there were only 64 lynchings last year.

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Today -100: January 10, 1913: Of hats and tough border crossings

The latest in Paris fashion: Futurist hats.

Russia announces that it will shoot down any airplanes or balloons that cross its border.

Evidently Bulgaria bribed Romania into being neutral in the Balkan War by promising to give it some of its own territory, including the port city of Silistria. Romania now wants Bulgaria to cough up and is threatening to send in its army to occupy that land.

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Happy birthday,

Dicky Trick!

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Today -100: January 9, 1913: Of duels

The president of the lower house of the Hungarian Parliament, Count István Tisza, fights his second duel of the year, with Count Aladar Széchényi, who shook hands with him at a club but the next day wrote him a note saying that it had been kind of dark and he wouldn’t have shaken hands with him if he’d recognized him. So, duel. With cavalry sabers. Tisza slashes Széchényi on the head. Next duel tomorrow.

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Today -100: January 8, 1913: Forbidding wars

Headline of the Day -100: “Powers Forbid Renewal of War.” Who knew they could do that? (Spoiler Alert: they couldn’t.)

Germany may help fight the inequality of Jews in Russia. Because if Germany believes in anything, it’s equality for Jews. Okay, it’s actually because German medical students are annoyed at the number of Russian Jews forced to attend German universities because of the quota system in Russia (Jews can practice medicine in Russia, but only a few can study medicine).

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Today -100: January 7, 1913: Of negotiations

The Balkan War peace negotiations have been suspended after Turkey refused the allies’ demands, which were for it to give up all the land it has lost and then some. Turkey is not willing to surrender Adrianople. What’s surprising to me is how public all the negotiating is.

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Today -100: January 6, 1913: Of aroostooks

Aroostook County, Maine, which the LA Times describes as the world’s greatest potato center, wants to split from Maine and become a state (Wikipedia says this was mentioned in the state legislature again in 2005.)

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Today -100: January 5, 1913: Nick picked

The Idaho Supreme Court does indeed fine and jail (for 10 days) for contempt the publisher and two editors of the Capital News, simply for reporting Theodore Roosevelt’s remarks criticizing the Court’s ruling keeping him off the ballot. Roosevelt says this proves the need for the power to recall judges.

The British Medical Association’s attempt to get doctors to boycott the national insurance program, or at least extort higher fees out of it, has failed, as 10,000+ doctors sign up.

Rumor has it (correctly) that Taft will name Nicholas Murray Butler as his running mate for 1912. That is, the guy who will share in his humiliation next week and receive the 8 Electoral College votes won by Taft (Vice President Sherman died the week before the election). Butler, 50, has been president of Columbia University since 1901 (and will be until 1945), where he is perhaps best remembered for his efforts to restrict the number of Jews admitted. He won a Nobel Peace Prize in 1931 for his work as president of the Carnegie Endowment, and from his position on the Pulitzer committee he prevented Hemingway being awarded the Pulitzer Prize for For Whom the Bell Tolls, which he found offensive. In 1920 he ran for the Republican presidential nomination under the slogan “Pick Nick as President for a Picnic in November,” but Harding stole his pic-a-nic basket. Dude had a PhD in philosophy and the slogan he chose was “Pick Nick as President for a Picnic in November.”

Headline of the Day -100: “Badger in Command of Atlantic Fleet.” Sounds like the name of a crappy children’s book, but in fact refers to Rear Admiral Charles J. Badger.

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Today -100: January 4, 1913: Of unions, insane congressmen, kinetophones, notaries public, and dandelions

Two of the trade unionists recently convicted of dynamite offenses are re-elected to their union posts (ironworkers, I think).

Two Congressional deaths this week: Ark. Sen. (and former Gov.) Jefferson Davis (no relation, although if you thought there was, he wouldn’t go far out of his way to correct you), a big fan of lynching, dies of apoplexy, and William Wedemeyer (R-Mich.), who lost his bid for re-election, goes insane on a trip to Panama, jumps off the steamship which was taking him back to a nice padded room in the states, and drowns.

Thomas Edison invents the Kinetophone, a phonograph record (cylinder) synched with a moving picture (it will prove unsatisfactory, and Edison will drop it when a warehouse fire destroys most of the recordings).

South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease conducts a little purge, revoking the commissions of many notaries public who are opposed to him politically or who, he claims, wagered on the 1912 Democratic primary.

Headline of the Day -100: “Rockefeller Picks Dandelions.”

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Today -100: January 3, 1913: Of figurative and literal duels

The new NY Governor William Sulzer says that he and not Boss Murphy of Tammany is the leader of the Democrats in New York State. Good luck with that, Bill.

The president of the lower house of the Hungarian Parliament, Count István Tisza (a former and future prime minister), and the opposition leader (and future prime minister and president) Count Mihály Károlyi, fight a duel, after Károlyi refused to shake Tisza’s hand. In the duel, Tisza wounds Károlyi’s arm with his sword.

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Today -100: January 2, 1913: Of home rule, dumb princes, football riots, serfs, and minstrel jokes

Debate continues in the British Parliament on the Irish Home Rule Bill. Sir Edward Carson proposes an amendment to exclude Ulster. Prime Minister Asquith says no, and asks what would it take to prevent civil war in Ireland – another general election, a referendum? Opposition leader Bonar Law says if a referendum for home rule were passed, he would not encourage Ulster to resist, but without it, he would encourage resistance. Winston Churchill pointedly asks if he’s encouraging resistance now, and all parliamentary hell breaks loose, as was the custom. Bonar Law says that Ulster would sooner accept rule by a foreign power than by Dublin. Churchill “suggest[s] that Germany would meet the wishes of the Ulstermen”; more hell breaks loose. Bonar Law says that if the Home Rule Bill passes, “Let there be a rebellion, and I will assist.” Carson’s Ulster-exclusion amendment loses 294-197.

Prince Albert (the future King George VI) comes in 64th out of 65 naval cadets in his exams.

France has its very first football riot. The French team lost to the Scottish team 21-3 but evidently it was all the refs’ fault.

Russia abolishes serfdom. I thought they’d done that 50 years before, but evidently they exempted the Caucasus until now.

A holiday treat at San Quentin Prison: minstrel jokes. I don’t recall seeing that episode of “Oz.”

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Today -100: January 1, 1913: Of woman-like women’s suffragists, foreclosing on China, censorship, and scared empresses

The suffragist pilgrims who walked from New York City to Albany meet NY Governor-elect Sulzer, who pledges his complete support for women’s suffrage in New York. Reading their message, he informs them that his name is not William L. Sulzer, “it’s plain Bill Sulzer,” leading the NYT to report, not at all snidely, “‘I know his name is William L.,’ afterward persisted Gen. [Rosalie] Jones, woman-like.”

Headline of the Day -100: “Russian Threat to Foreclose on China.” China defaults on its indemnity to the six Powers (I think for the death of foreigners during the Boxer Rebellion). Russia is thinking about seizing, say, Manchuria, as collateral.

NYC Mayor William Gaynor vetoes an ordinance introducing censorship of the movies (by censors appointed by the Board of Education). He thinks it’s unnecessary because people simply wouldn’t go to immoral, obscene movies. What do the would-be censors think this is, he asks, Russia?

As of today, the US post office handles parcels (up to 11 pounds) as well as letters. In the next few days the NYT will be full of stories of people sending things through the parcel post they’re not supposed to be sending through the parcel post –- like opossums.

Imperial Headline of the Day -100: “Airship Scared Empress.” Someone dropped a wreath on the Potsdam palace on her birthday. In future, German airmen are requested not to fly over castles.

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Obama and the Fiscal Cliff of Doom

Obama made a little speech today about the fiscal cliff. I’m not going to analyze that speech, because I have better things to do on New Year’s Eve (for example: pretending that I have better things to do on New Year’s Eve), I just want to note that he brought out a bunch of “middle-class Americans” as props, just in case you didn’t know what middle-class Americans look like. Did you know that “wealthy individuals, the biggest corporations... take advantage of loopholes and deductions that aren’t available to most of the folks standing up here”? Look at them! LOOK AT THEM!

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Today -100: December 31, 1912: Guns don’t kill people, future Democratic presidential candidates kill people

12-year-old Adlai E. Stevenson II – grandson of Grover Cleveland’s Vice President, Democratic candidate for president in 1952 and 1956 – accidentally shoots and kills 16-year-old Ruth Merwin. He was demonstrating rifle drill to friends with what he thought was an unloaded rifle when it went off.

Editorial Headline of the Day -100: “Preachers Are Aroused.” They want the saloons in Chicago closed by the regular statutory hour of 1 a.m. on New Year’s.

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Today -100: December 30, 1912: Of promised lands

Dr. Max Nordau, president of the 10th Zionist Congress, suggests that if the Ottoman Empire is being divided up, maybe the Jews could get Palestine now? OKTHX.

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Do they have weapons?

Hateblogger Pamela Gellar sued the NY subway system to be allowed to put up this ad.

Am I the only one who can’t help thinking of this?

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Caption contest

Auditioning replacements for Lieberman in the “Three Amigos.”

“I’m having another ‘Nam flashback, right? RIGHT?”

“I eat the cookie and throw away the filling because I’m a FUCKING MAVERICK!”

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Today -100: December 29, 1912: Of depopulation and dynamite

The French government is forming a commission to investigate France’s stagnating birth rate. The president of the French League for Women’s Rights pointed out that of the 250 doctors, professors, government officials, writers etc appointed to the commission, none are actually, you know, women.

38 members of the International Association of Bridge and Structural Iron Workers are convicted of transporting dynamite (on trains, which is illegal) which was used in various labor disputes to... make a point. The Indiana jury was composed almost entirely of farmers. (No one got prison terms greater than four years and 6 received suspended sentences.)

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