Today -100: August 8, 1923: Yup, that’s a train alright

People are turning out in large numbers all along the route to look at the train carrying Harding’s body. Which delays its arrival in D.C. until the dead of night.

The Klan hold a parade in Tampa in honor of Harding.

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Today -100: August 7, 1923: Of treaties, gomperses, and fine lots of fools

At Lausanne, the US & Turkey sign their treaty on trade & shit (it’s not a peace treaty; the US didn’t declare war on Turkey during the Great War).

Pres. Coolidge has been meeting almost exclusively with Republicans, with the exception of Samuel Gompers of the American Federation of Labor, who tells him that organized labor wants the continuance of strict limits on immigration.

The former king of Saxony Friederich August III has no desire to return to the throne, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t Saxon monarchists. A mob of them show up at the railway station in Plauen chanting for him, but he doesn’t open his carriage window. Finally they knock at the window, and he lowers it, berating them: “You call yourselves republicans! Fine lot of fools you are!” (Back in Saxony, Dresden police attack demonstrators demanding bread).

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Today -100: August 6, 1923: Deranged

A lot of talk about how to make the presidency less damaging to its occupant’s health. Assistant president? Single term? (The assistant president idea because there isn’t always a vice president. Like now -100).

Headline of the Day -100:  

Also his lungs, intestines...

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Today -100: August 5, 1923: Of room 333, doctors, high souls, and kimonos

Coolidge is running the country from the $8-a-day suite in the Willard Hotel (room 333) that he’s been occupying (except after a fire) since taking the veepship. He took 333 over from the previous vice president, Whatsisname. He names Friday the 10th, the day Harding will be buried in Marion, Ohio, a national day of mourning.

Coolidge is probably keeping all of Harding’s cabinet, and he’s also keeping Charles Elmer Sawyer as White House physician, despite the manifestly poor job the homeopathist did in keeping the previous president alive. Sawyer, like Harding a resident of Marion, no doubt got the job because he once helped Harding’s mother, a midwife with a doctor’s license, refute charges that she accidentally killed a baby. Bill Clinton likewise protected an outrageously incompetent state medical examiner who covered up Clinton’s mother’s lethal mistakes as a nurse-anesthetist. 

Finishing up his lecture tour of North America, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 

says it might be difficult to contact Harding’s spirit, since he is one of the high souls, not an earthbound spirit. And it usually takes 3 days after death before spirits can communicate (because of the Jesus thing). But after that he might advise Coolidge if asked.

Revolt of the Day -100:  

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Today -100: August 4, 1923: Of private qualities and horses

Coolidge says he’ll carry out Harding’s policies, including pushing for the US to join the World Court.

NYT: “It seems probable that the memory of President Harding will be cherished longer for his private qualities than for his public acts.”  Sex in the White House coat closet, multiple young mistresses, that secret daughter – you know, private qualities. Or perhaps that’s what the Times means by “that spirit of simple human friendliness and sympathy”. It’s hard to cherish him for his public acts because, well, they’re finding it really difficult to name any actual accomplishments. Personally, I think his greatest accomplishment was to orate the most alliterative speech ever orated at a party convention when he nominated Taft in 1912: “Progression is not proclamation nor palaver.  It is not pretense nor play on prejudice.  It is not of personal pronouns, nor perennial pronouncement.  It is not the perturbation of a people passion-wrought, nor a promise proposed” etc.

Prince Henry, the Duke of Gloucester, is thrown from a horse, as was the custom.

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Today -100: August 3, 1923: Of dead presidents

President Warren Gamaliel Harding dies at age 57 of a stroke or heart attack in the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, as Florence Harding reads the newspaper to him.

Harding is the 6th president to die in office. Of those, 3 were from Ohio.

VP Calvin Coolidge, 51, is sworn in by his father, a notary public.

What’s a “farmer’s line telephone,” which is the type of phone Coolidge’s father has?

Coolidge is the first president from New England since Franklin Pierce 70 years ago.

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Today -100: August 2, 1923: These boys are not real murderers

Pres. Harding’s health continues to improve, although a long recuperation is expected.

Headline of the Day -100:  

Ohio’s Gov. A. Victor Donahey is on a fishing trip along with his sons, a prison warden, and two trustee convicts acting as servants. The party crossed into Canada, which is not best pleased, because it doesn’t usually allow convicted murderers into the country. Donahey calls the furore “political bunk,” and says he pardoned one of them. “These boys are not real murderers,” he says, but were only convicted of second-degree murder and anyway he has a murderer-slash-gardener and a murderer-slash-housekeeper at the executive mansion. Canada will deport them in a couple of days, and Donahey will go with them. I’d have thought he would have returned before then anyway, Ohio being Warren G. Harding’s home state and all.

The Irish Court of Appeals rules that there is no state of war in Ireland, therefore the 12,000 IRA prisoners being held without trial can be granted release under habeas. The Dáil Éireann responds by passing, in a single day, a bill allowing the government to hold them 3 more months.

France threatens to crack down on obnoxious racist American tourists. There have been reports of Americans objecting to sharing restaurants, cafés, etc with black French citizens or colonials, including former and present soldiers, trying to impose Jim Crow in Paris.

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Today -100: August 1, 1923: Elimination is improving

Pres. Harding is feeling much better. Phew.

In fact, Harding is well enough to read the newspapers with their big headlines about how sick he was.

I’ve spent too much time trying to figure out what “elimination is improving” means, but I’m now fairly sure that the appearance of the phrase on page 1 of the Paper of Record is not a reference to the presidential poop. Fairly sure.

Vice Pres. Coolidge only just found out about Harding’s illness. He’s vacationing at his father’s house in a tiny Vermont town with one telephone and no Sunday stage, hence no Sunday newspapers arriving before Monday. He doesn’t intend to go to D.C.

The NYT suggests maybe not sending presidents out on arduous cross-country trips in the future.

Sen. Oscar Underwood (D-Alabama) says he’s running for president. He says it’s time for a Southerner to again “bear the banner of democracy”. He calls for more international involvement. He doesn’t apologize for having opposed Prohibition.

German Chancellor Wilhelm Cuno plans to introduce “Rhine-Ruhr sacrifice” taxes. Given the collapse of the mark, he’d have been ejected from office by now if someone else was willing to take the job. The Cabinet supports doubling the income tax.

You know who don’t want to be paid in useless marks? The printers in the plants that print useless marks, who go on strike.

In the Ruhr, the French occupy 5 more mines whose workers go on strike, and the Belgians expel (from office or from the territory? unclear) the burgomaster and 5 city councilmembers in Aix-la-Chapelle.

An Uxbridge (Massachusetts) court judge orders home-brewed beer returned to Catherine Pramere, a nursing mother who insists beer is necessary for her diet. She doesn’t try to get the cops to return the moonshine whiskey they seized along with the beer.

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Today -100: July 31, 1923: The president is having a hard fight

Pres. Harding has pneumonia, as shown by an x-ray taken in his room at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco. He responds to the x-ray people showing up, “Bring them in, I have nothing to conceal.” Fact Check: He has many things to conceal, but probably not in his chest cavity. He has breathing and heart problems and his doctors describe his condition as “grave.” But evidently he is “bearing his affliction with courage.”

The Salvation Army gifted a radio to Sing Sing for use on death row, but the authorities ban its use there.

A NYT reporter accosts ex-kaiser Wilhelm as he walks the streets of Doorn and asks about royalist plots to restore him to the German throne. He disclaims any knowledge of anything happening outside Holland.

Headline of the Day -100:  

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Today -100: July 30, 1923: Of ptomaine, lychings, and dictographs

Pres. Harding’s staff admit that his “ptomaine poisoning” is worse than they’d previously suggested. He’ll be cancelling all of his California events. It’s undecided whether he’ll return to D.C. via the Panama Canal as planned or take a less arduous route.

A black man is burned at the stake in a swamp in Mississippi.

A French court-martial sentences 3 former German police in Essen to death for espionage, to wit, placing a dictograph near a French officer’s villa.

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Today -100: July 29, 1923: Of ptomaine, pie fights, and jelly balls

Pres. Harding has “ptomaine poisoning,” which they’re blaming on bad crabs. Harding denies that; he thinks it was bad canned food but refuses to name the product for fear of doing it economic harm. He cancels a planned trip to Yosemite and all his scheduled appearances in Oregon and his train is now moving south towards San Francisco, where he will rest in his hotel for a couple of days. Or, you know, whatever.

Incidentally, the food poisoning mis-diagnosis gave credibility to the theory that the president was poisoned by Florence Harding. That and her refusal to allow an autopsy.

Charlie Chaplin and Pola Negri call off the “engagement” I refuse to believe was ever a thing. Negri says Chaplin is too temperamental.

Headline of the Day -100:  

Yet more proof that silent movies were documentaries. 

Headline of the Day -100:  

Astronomer Willem de Sitter, inventor of Sitter Space.

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Today -100: July 28, 1923: Of territories and opium

Pres. Harding is in Seattle after his ship rams a destroyer in Puget Sound in a heavy fog. His trip through Alaska has impelled him towards a more conservationist position on the territory. He thinks part of the territory can be a state in a few years, but he doesn’t say what should happen to the rest of it (is this division based on “where da white folks at?” Of course it is).

The US is upset that the Lausanne Treaty did not include the Hague Opium Convention (there ain’t no convention like an opium convention), given that most of the US’s smuggled opium comes from Turkey via, of all places, Switzerland.

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Today -100: July 27, 1923: His Canadian girlfriend

Warren G. Harding is in Vancouver, the first sitting US president to visit Canada. And he’ll be dead soon. Coincidence?

Headline of the Day -100:  

More proof that silent movies were documentaries. 

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Today -100: July 26, 1923: Dr. Evil voice: 5 million marks

British Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin does not agree with the French and Belgian position that the only reply to Germany should be a demand that all resistance in the Ruhr should end, with terms set by them after Germany surrenders. France is complaining that it has to maintain a big army but Germany is barely allowed any army, so its capacity to pay reparations is bigger than it claims. Something like that.

Germany is going to print a 5 million mark note. It presumably won’t show up in the Ruhr, where the French are grabbing any German cash they can find. 

The cashier at the Essen branch of the Reichsbank is fined 5 million marks, which he’ll be able to pay off with one of those notes, and given a 2-month sentence for giving the French the wrong key when they demanded access to the vaults, a key that instead of opening it activated some security thing, and the French can’t figure out how to break in.

Manuel Quezon, who resigned as president of the Philippine Senate, says the demand for the recall of Gov.-Gen. Leonard Wood is nothing personal (sure it is, he’s an autocratic jerk), and Harding should replace him with someone who could work in harmony with the Filipino people. An actual Filipino, for example.

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Today -100: July 25, 1923: Peace at last, peace at last

The Treaty of Lausanne is signed between Turkey and the Allies. The Great War is finally officially over, as is the Ottoman Empire. The Allies will remove their occupation troops from Constantinople; Britain will get Cyprus; the Allies’ merchant ships can go through the Turkish Straits; peace between Greece & Turkey with massive ethnic cleansing. The Allies (and the US) don’t get special treatment or outright exemption from the Turkish courts for their nationals.

Yugoslavia (which seems finally to be spelled that way rather than Jugoslavia) refuses to sign, because the Ottoman Empire’s reparations are to be paid by all the territories that are no longer in the Empire, including those Yugoslavia now holds, but it’s claiming it actually acquired them from the Balkan Wars.

The NYT says the real winners from the Lausanne Conference are the Swiss: “Six months of hotel bills for the diplomatic delegations of a dozen States is a bigger indemnity than Turks or Greeks vainly hoped for.”

Headline of the Day -100:  

Literally. During Communist/Social Democrat riots in Frankfort against “usury and Fascism.” One placard: “No justice without blood.”

George Baker was hanged last year for murdering a deputy sheriff in Georgia. County officials plan to charge his father with criminal libel for inscribing on George’s tombstone that he was “unjustly” executed.

The French Cabinet decrees that the only political material broadcast on radio will be government announcements, ministerial speeches and such; opposition politicians are banned from the airways.

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Today -100: July 24, 1923: Of governors-general, duels, and pogroms

Both houses of the Philippines Legislature ask Pres. Harding to remove Governor-General Leonard Wood. Unanimously. 

Hungarian Prime Minister István Bethlen challenges Col. Pál Prónay, leader of a Freikorps-type group, to a duel. Duels are illegal in Hungary.

Pogrom in Vilna.

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Today -100: July 23, 1923: Of the perilous voyage of unprepared autonomy

Turkey’s Dept of Religious Affairs issues a decree allowing Muslims to get fillings in their teeth.

Five women are claiming to be Pancho Villa’s widow.

Pres. Harding leaves Alaska.

Éamon de Valera asks American Irish for $100,000 to fight the Irish elections.

The NYT editorializes that all those Filipino politicians who resigned over Governor-General Leonard Wood’s insistence on employing the corrupt Ray Conley as chief of the Secret Service were using it as a pretext: “This is not a conflict between Leonard Wood and the Filipino leaders, but between the American forces believing in a thorough preparation for eventual independence and the Filipino politicians who wish to embark by themselves upon the perilous voyage of unprepared autonomy.”

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Today -100: July 22, 1923: Of blacks & Republicans and movies & churches

A conference of black leaders from 18 states in Atlantic City calls for passage of the Dyer Anti-Lynching Bill, enforcement of the 14th and 15th Amendments, and more or less threatens to withhold black votes from the Republican Party until it cleans up its act.

The Church of Saint Matthias in Budapest, where the kings of Hungary were traditionally crowned, has been deconsecrated and will be closed until it can be reconsecrated, because it was used to film a historical movie depicting one of those coronations. A bishop played an archbishop (they were going to put an actor in the archbish’s coronation robes, but they found a wafer blessed by the pope sewn into it, so they had to use someone holier than a mere actor).

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Today -100: July 21, 1923: Viva Pancho Villa, or not so much

Francisco “Pancho” Villa, who has been out of the public eye for the last 3 years, is assassinated, along with his secretary and 3 of his entourage. 7 men shoot up his car. Although most of them will be captured, and punished lightly or not at all, it remains unclear who gave the order – there are so many possibilities. People he crossed in the past, government leaders worried he might re-enter politics in the 1924 elections or lead another revolution, etc. The government will of course push the “feud” line. Villa had spent the 3 years of his retirement learning how to read and write.

The National Woman’s Party, in a convention held in Seneca Falls to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the 1848 convention there, chooses wording for an Equal Rights Amendment: “Men and women shall have equal rights throughout the United States and every place subject to its jurisdiction.” They’re calling it the Lucretia Mott Amendment. 

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Today -100: July 20, 1923: Of the pleasure, the exhilaration, the happiness, and the gaiety of life, and bones

Nancy Astor’s bill banning liquor sales in pubs to those under 18 is being debated in the House of Lords. Lord Dawson of Penn, physician to King George (who he will later euthanize), sings the praises of alcohol, which “adds to the pleasure, the exhilaration, the happiness, and the gaiety of life,” although he thinks up to age 18 practically no alcohol is really needed.

One of St Martin’s bones is stolen. Fortunately, he’s dead and probably doesn’t need it (which bone is not specified).

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