Not just occupying a space

As part of this week’s goal of sucking up to AIPAC (they will never love you, Barack, never), Obama was interviewed by Israeli TV.

He adopted Israeli rhetoric about Palestinians wholesale (as I typed wholesale I spotted the joke I think you all spotted too, but we’re better than that, people). For example: “There’s a constant contest between moderates and rejectionists within the Arab world.” And: “then there’s the demographic challenges that Israel is going to be facing if it wants to remain not only a Jewish state but a democratic state.” Yes, they’re not Palestinian babies but little bundles of demographic challenge. Because their whole significance as human beings is in relation to the Israeli Jews.

He said that Netanyahu might be the perfect leader to make peace because only Nixon etc etc.

Now here’s an unfortunate turn of phrase: “And in our conversations yesterday, I had the impression that Prime Minister Netanyahu isn’t interested in just occupying a space, a position, but he’s interested in being a statesman and putting his country on a more secure track.”

Obama again insisted that reports of tension between Netanyahu and himself have been “greatly overstated. I mean, the last time that the Prime Minister came here, we had a terrific meeting.” You could tell by their happy smiling faces in the photographs that Obama refused to let be taken.

Asked if he had asked Bibi to extend the settlement “freeze,” he ignored the question and responded, “You know, what I want is for us to get into direct talks. I think that if you have direct talks between Abu Mazen, Netanyahu, their teams, that builds trust. And trust then allows for both sides to not be so jumpy or paranoid about every single move that’s being made”. Hate for Palestinians to get all paranoid about the seizure of their land and the illegal implantation of still more violent settlers and the flotillacide.

He thinks Israelis are suspicious of him because his middle name is Hussein. And because of his outreach to Muslims (remember when he was supposed to be reaching out to Muslims? What did that consist of, giving one speech?). But “the truth of the matter is, is that my outreach to the Muslim community is designed precisely to reduce the antagonism and the dangers posed by a hostile Muslim world to Israel and to the West.” Again, the only significance of Muslims as human beings is as threats. If they just stopped being so gosh-darned hostile, we could go back to ignoring them.

He said, “One of my favorite phrases is from Martin Luther King, who said, ‘The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.’ And I believe that. And I think that that’s consummate with Jewish traditions”. A Bushian malapropism if I ever heard one. Maybe there’s something in the White House drinking water that makes people get stupider the longer they live there. Arsenic, or Lincoln’s gold, or Jenna’s old stash.

A question about the BART verdict

The involuntary manslaughter verdict in the BART shooting suggests that the jury bought the BART cop’s defense that he thought he pulled out a taser rather than his gun.

I would guess that the service revolver weighs significantly more than a taser, but does anyone out there in the WIIIAI-o-sphere know?

Hairstyles that confront Western cultural invasion

Iranian Quote of the Day: Jaleh Khodayar, director of the Veil and Chastity Day festival (Motto: Good luck eating cotton candy in a burka!), talking about Iran’s ban on mullets: “We want to preserve our culture and respect Iranian tradition and come up with hairstyles that confront Western cultural invasion.”

Today -100: July 8, 1910: Flying high

A new air record: a plane reaches 5,000 feet.

Today -100: July 7, 1910: Of peace, vacations, and boxing movies

There is a proposal for a major celebration of 100 years of peace, to be held in 1914. Okay, 100 years of peace between the US and Britain, but still, 1914!

Taft, on vacation, is not allowed (by whose order is not disclosed) even to see his official mail.

The movement to ban movies of the Johnson-Jeffries fight spreads. Georgia and Texas will pass new laws. Atlanta and other cities have already passed ordinances. The chairman of the Atlanta Police Commission went further and said that Johnson himself is not welcome. Other bans include Boston,
D.C., St. Louis, and Milwaukee, whose socialist mayor thinks the movies detrimental to public morals. Some bans are ostensibly on moral grounds, some more explicitly aim at preventing further race riots. Maine already has a law against photographs or movies of prize-fights. There is also a demand in South Africa for a ban.

Roanoke, Virginia sees no need to ban the pictures: none of their movie theaters allow black people in.

Barack and Bibi: The bond between the United States and Israel is unbreakable

Today Obama held long-postponed talks with Netanyahu. Then they talked to the press. The Gaza flotillacide never came up.

LIKE HIS WIFE’S KNISHES. HEY OH! “As Prime Minister Netanyahu indicated in his speech, the bond between the United States and Israel is unbreakable.”


SCREWING OVER MUSLIMS? “It encompasses our national security interests, our strategic interests, but most importantly, the bond of two democracies who share a common set of values”.

PROGRESS: “I commended Prime Minister Netanyahu on the progress that’s been made in allowing more goods into Gaza.” The word progress implies that there is some sort of process that has to be arduously worked through, when in fact Netanyahu could just lift the blockade right now. Also, is no one going to mention that exports from Gaza remain completely embargoed?

TRUER WORDS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SPOKEN: “I believe that Prime Minister Netanyahu wants peace. I think he’s willing to take risks for peace.”

OUR GRASP: “Israel’s security needs met, the Palestinians having a sovereign state that they call their own -- those are goals that have obviously escaped our grasp for decades now.” I must have missed that we were actually trying to grasp for Palestinians having a sovereign state that they call their own for decades now.

BUILDING: “There are going to need to be a whole set of confidence-building measures”. As long as that building doesn’t involve cement in Gaza. Although speaking of building...

TELLING FREUDIAN SLIP IN 5..4..3... “We strongly believe that, given its size, its history, the region that it’s in, and the threats that are leveled against us -- against it, that Israel has unique security requirements.”


Netanyahu said the greatest threat to everyone was Iran. “Iran is brutally terrorizing its people,” he said, adding, “I mean, they banned mullets, for Christ sake.”

Obama praised Israel’s “restraint” in settlement-building.

WHAT IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THE PALESTINIANS NOT DO: “I think it’s very important that the Palestinians not look for excuses for incitement, that they are not engaging in provocative language; that at the international level, they are maintaining a constructive tone, as opposed to looking for opportunities to embarrass Israel.” I’m pretty sure Israel is incapable of embarrassment.

So Palestinians have no real grievances, just “excuses for incitement.” Good to know.

An Israeli reporter asks if Obama now trusts Netanyahu. Obama says he’s always trusted Netanyahu.


“We are going to continually work with the Prime Minister and the entire Israeli government, as well as the Israeli people, so that we can achieve what I think has to be everybody’s goal, which is that people feel secure. They don’t feel like a rocket is going to be landing on their head sometime. They don’t feel as if there’s a growing population that wants to direct violence against Israel.” Well, the IDF is working on that “growing population” thing.

QE2 at UN

The Queen addressed the United Nations today. Some highlights of her speech:

“We used to own all your asses!”

“Yes, We had Diana killed. Whaddaya gonna do about it?”

“Nations of the world, hear me now: it’s all about the hat, bitches!”


“We are so sorry for whatever Prince Philip said or will say to the Asian delegates.”

Caption contest

Posted by John McCain, this is him, Huckleberry, Holy Joe and Colonel Combover in Afghanistan.


See also his pics inspecting Afghan troops, and at a shura with locals in Kandahar, in which the Three Amigos are dressed like they’re on a fishing trip in Boca. At least take off the baseball cap when sitting – indoors – around a table with Afghan leaders.

Today -100: July 6, 1910: Of fight fights, unhung murderers, and canals on Mars

Fatalities resulting from Fight of the Century fights: 1 in NY, 3 in Uvaldia, GA, 2 in Little Rock, 1 Houston, 1 Omaha, 1 Mounds, Ill, 1 Tyler, TX. Several cities have banned movies of the fight. NYC Mayor Gaynor, however, says he has no right to do that. 236 people, mostly black, were arrested in Washington, D.C.

Judge George Holt says that of 300,000 people who participated in lynchings in the previous 40 years, 100,000 “unhung murderers” are still alive. Plus 165,000 who committed felonies or murder during violent labor struggles. Add to that night riders and the Black Hand, none of whom have ever been convicted, deaths caused by reckless automobile drivers, who are rarely punished and if so by a trifling fine or short imprisonment, and America is a pretty darned lawless place.

Giovanni Schiaparelli, the astronomer who first claimed to have found canals on Mars, has died. I hope the authorities checked his body for ray-gun marks.

Today -100: July 5, 1910: Of a safe and sane Fourth

Incongruous Headline of the Day -100: “Safe and Sane Day the Country Over.” Meaning that there were relatively few deaths from fireworks, which were banned in many places, including New York City. However, the United States was anything but safe and sane on July 4, 1910.

The cause: boxer Jack Johnson, who was black, beat James Jeffries, who was white, in the 15th round of the “Fight of the Century.” This did not go over so well with some people. Among many other racial incidents, fights broke out in Omaho, with one black man killed; two black men were killed by white men in Little Rock in separate incidents; on a trolley car in Houston a white man slashed the throat of a black man who had “jeeringly proclaimed Johnson’s victory”; and in Macon, Georgia, “The negroes have become so boisterous in celebrating the victory of Johnson over Jeffries that the authorities doubled the police force to prevent a clash of the races. Several negroes have been beaten and scores of them arrested, but there has been no serious disturbance.” Define “serious,” New York Times. “The negroes have angered the whites by insolent remarks about Jeffries.” Three other “insolent” negroes were killed in a shoot-out with a mob at a construction camp in Uvaldia, Georgia, and others fled “into the woods, where they are being hunted by the whites.” In Wilmington, Delaware, a white man was slashed by a mob of black men, who were then chased into an apartment house by a mob of several thousand whites, who bombarded it with stones. When the cops showed up, the mob tried to lynch the black man they arrested. In Roanoke, VA, a black man who heard of Johnson’s victory said, “‘Now I guess the white folks will let the negroes alone.’ A white man replied, ‘No,’ and the two clashed.” And there were running racial fights all over New York, with gangs of white men and youths looking for blacks to beat up; the Times described one fight as “a direct outcome of an argument over the respective merits of the white and negro races.” But in a touching act of racial reconciliation in St Joseph, Missouri, a white man defended a black man who had been hit by a white man – so a white crowd beat him up instead. Eight dead nation-wide (so far), all black (one of them a black cop in Mounds, Illinois, who was killed by black rioters), although one white man will probably die of his wounds.

Headline of the Day -100: “Americans in Berlin Sad.” Yes, that’s also white guys mourning Johnson’s victory.

In other holiday news, an errant firecracker burned down half of Benton, Pennsylvania.

Chief Justice Melville Weston Fuller, the 8th chief justice of the US, died on the 4th of July. Since one seat is already vacant and one functionally vacant, pending cases will be decided by just six justices. Fuller was appointed by Cleveland in 1888. His death leaves only two Democrats on the bench.

Taft spoke to the convention of the National Education Association on the 4th, explaining how American colonial policy in the Philippines was actually in complete conformity with the language of the Declaration of Independence (deriving just powers from the consent of the governed, etc), “when that language is properly understood by the same sort of construction as Lincoln gave to the language ‘All men are created equal.’ ... When the time shall arrive in which the Filipinos can be safely trusted to organize and maintain permanently their own Government, and this Government shall withdraw from the islands or offer to do so, the proposition of the Declaration of Independence will then have been fulfilled and the Government will be a just one, for it will rest on the consent of the governed.” But we can’t do that “in the absence of the full effects of education”. So it’s “a purely altruistic policy”. Ditto for Cuba.

In case you were wondering why we are in Afghanistan...

...according to David Petraeus, “we are in this to win.”

He added, “We must demonstrate to the Afghan people — and to the world — that al-Qaida and its network of extremist allies will not be allowed to once again establish sanctuaries in Afghanistan from which they can launch attacks on the Afghan people and on freedom-loving nations around the world.”

But attacks on freedom-hating nations would be okay? How about freedom-just-friends nations? Maybe we need a list of just which nations Colonel Combover considers to be freedom-loving and which ones are not.

Today -100: July 4, 1910: Of lynch mobs

Celebrating the 4th of July weekend, mobs lynch black men in Columbia, Alabama and Charleston, Missouri, the latter by a large mob in broad daylight.

Taft uses a new law to withdraw 8,495,731 acres of Alaskan lands from public use.

News you can’t, or shouldn’t, use

Paris Hilton was arrested at the World Cup. If that story could work in Twilight, it would be a perfect trifecta of Crap I Don’t Care About.

Today -100: July 3, 1910: Of Democrats, tetanus, gloves, and ho’s

The Democratic Congressional Committee issues a statement that the issues in the 1910 elections will be “the tariff and its consequences, the extravagant expenditures, wrongdoings of officials, graft that is shown to exist in nearly every Government branch, and the autocratic ruling of the majority party.”

Someone in the New York Medical Journal blames the increase in deaths from tetanus in Britain on the automobile (by stirring up contaminated dust).

Headline of the Day -100: “Knox Must Pay for Gloves.” The Treasury refuses to reimburse Secretary of State Philander Knox for the $4 driving gloves worn by his coachman.

Another example of unfortunate typos in the NYT index: “Johnson Feels Ho Anxiety Now.” That would be boxer Jack Johnson, actually feeling “no anxiety now” about the upcoming “Fight of the Century,” shortly to be held in Reno after the match was run out of California by the governor.

Today -100: July 2, 1910: Of pansy stakes and rioting Ruthenians

Utterly Incomprehensible Headline of the Day -100: “Imprint Home First in Pansy Stakes.” Turns out, it has something to do with horses.

Headline (just a headline, not a headline of the day -100): “Race Riot in University.” Ruthenian and Polish students at the University of Lemberg.

Today -100: July 1, 1910: Of aerial bombing and getting bombed in Milwaukee

Glenn Curtiss, the aviator who flew the record-breaking NY-Albany flight in May which I may or may not have mentioned (winning a $10,000 prize from Joseph Pulitzer), demonstrated in front of some naval officers the fun you could have with a plane, dropping 20 bombs and hitting his mark 18 times. “Admiral Kimball expressed himself as greatly impressed with the possibilities of the aeroplane in warfare.”

Milwaukee City Council closes 104 “disorderly” saloons and 2 burlesque theaters. Damn killjoy socialists.

Today -100: June 30, 1910: Of peace

The NYT supports the idea of Taft naming Teddy Roosevelt to head the Peace Commission, “for no other voice would be more listened to.” Although you’d think Taft must have been getting just a little tired of being constantly over-shadowed by his predecessor.

The first international conflict TR might be called upon to settle is a territorial dispute between Canada and the United States, which contests Canada’s claim to exclusive jurisdiction over Hudson Bay. Which basically only affects American whalers, who don’t really care, and they’re whale-killers, so fuck ‘em.

I’ve always said, it’s all about...

...the hats. Queen Elizabeth visits Canada and meets Mi’kmaq Chief... wait for it... Sylliboy.

Today -100: June 29, 1910: What’s the German for “Oh, the humanity”?

In Britain, Prime Minister Asquith has scuttled an attempt by MPs to pass a compromise women’s suffrage bill by refusing to give up any parliamentary time to it. The militant campaign, which has been paused, first for the general election, then so that this bill could be passed, is likely to be resumed.

Say, remember the LZ 7 Deutschland? Began commercial flights last week? It crashed in a storm in Lower Saxony. No one was killed, but the Deutschland is a wreck, “pierced with pine tree stems, a mass of deflated silk and twisted aluminium.” This was its third voyage. It cost $137,500.

Headline of the Day -100: “Police to Stop Smoking Autos.” They’ll go back to cigarettes.

Cat-iversary: I believe amoxicillin is traditional

Today is Christabel and my second anniversary. My gift to her: a plastic ball that rolls down the stairs quite satisfactorily, which I found in the back yard, probably courtesy of the children next door, but I’m sure they must have intended it as a present for my cat. Her gift to me: an accidental scratch that became infected and spread to my lymph system. I think that sums up the human-cat relationship pretty well.

I could show you the pictures I took of my gnarly infection, or, alternatively, the most recent cat pictures.

Today -100: June 28, 1910: Of colossal frauds and automobile accidents

In the lobby of the Cuban Congress, Congresscritter Manuel Lores shot at another congresscritter, Antonio San Miguel, but missed, grazing the head of Conservative Party leader Antonio Gonzales Lanuza. San Miguel had denounced a railroad deal as a colossal fraud.

Robert Taft, son of the president (and later a US senator), driving one of the president’s cars (how many did he own?), ran over an Italian street laborer, one Michael Thisthwolla.

Cool (so to speak)

Iceland’s gay marriage law came into effect today. One of the first to take advantage of it: Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir.

Name of the Day

I heard this on the BBC World News today and had to confirm it on line – had a bit of difficulty with the spelling: involved in covering up the Catholic child abuse scandal in Belgium: Cardinal Godfried Danneels.

Today -100: June 27, 1910: Of elections, shotgun marriages, and imperial preaching

Mexican President slash general (but he really wants to direct) Porfirio Díaz is reelected. No doubt it was a totally fair election, and the opposition Anti-Reelectionist Party, (led by Francisco Madero, who Díaz had arrested) got 2% of the vote.

The Mexican military has been holding “trials” for participants in the Valladolid uprising, followed rapidly by executions. Two defendants were allowed to get married before being put in front of the firing squad.

Kaiser Wilhelm preached a sermon yesterday (Sunday) aboard the imperial yacht. I’d make a What Would Jesus Do joke, but I guess Jesus and Wilhelm did both inherit their father’s business. Wilhelm’s topic was “Did Jesus Live?” The NYT does not inform us of the kaiser’s position on this question.

Today -100: June 26, 1910: Of taxing and spending, conspiracies, and lethal roosters

The outgoing Congress appropriated a record $1,055,000,000.

Sen. William Stone (D-MO) tells the Senate that a syndicate of bankers and whatnot exists in the US to exploit the finances of Nicaragua, backing the Estradist rebels in order to gain control of Nicaragua’s public debt, and calls for the Foreign Relations Committee to investigate US-Nicaraguan relations. Nothing will happen, of course, and Secretary of State Knox denies having heard of any such syndicate. Sen. Stone, of course, is entirely correct.

Retired Colonel William Bradford Homer is killed by a rooster.

Disclose

Um, always?

Ray’s Hell Burger is other people

I hear the latest DVD of Dr. Caligari, the German expressionist classic about a deranged mesmerist who hypnotizes his assistant into killing on his behalf, is much more complete than earlier versions.

Anyway, Obama took Dmitri Medvedev to Ray’s Hell Burger for lunch yesterday. Medvedev had a Coke, so America wins. Wait, he and Obama shared an order of fries, so socialism wins. Oh noes!

CAPTION CONTEST:


(P.S. I’m also told that the restored material in the recent re-release of Metropolis changes your perspective on the film entirely.)

Today -100: June 25, 1910: What’ll we do with a problem like Arizona?

Oklahoma Sen. Thomas Gore claims in the Senate that he and a congresscritter from OK were offered large bribes to drop legislation that would limit the fees lawyers would receive for services in selling off lands of the Choctaw and Chickasaw Indians (estimated at $3 million to $16m, in 1910 dollars) (lands with oil or coal under them). Gore says congresscritters and former congresscritters have financial interests in the contracts.

The new almost-state Arizona has a population of only 200,000, 60% of whom are “of Mexican blood, and frequently ignorant of the English language.” The NYT concludes, “Arizona, it will be seen, is something of a problem at the very outset.”

The dirigible LZ 7 Deutschland’s second commercial flight carries 32 passengers and crew, the most ever flown in a dirigible. It ran into a storm, but rode it out. The Deutschland is sold out for its next week of scheduled flights, and the promoters are sure it will pay for itself.

I predict the LZ 7 Deutschland will carry passengers for a long, long time.

Name of the Day -100: Hootookatoo, a Tibetan high priest ordered executed by the Dalai Lama (for attempting to assassinate him – with sorcery) 3 years ago. China (which deposed the DL and occupied Tibet), has issued a royal edict ordering Hootookatoo reincarnated (can they do that?)

Headline of the Day -100: “Tainted Beef in Army Manoeuvres.” Scary.

Today -100: June 24, 1910: Of accomplishing all one’s goals

Taft brags that just 1/3 into his term, he has fulfilled all his election pledges. I guess he can spend the rest of his term at home in Ohio clearing brush, or whatever one does in Ohio.

Taft rejects an attempt to insert into a bill a provision banning the Justice Dept using the Sherman Anti-Trust Act against unions.

Korea “agrees” to give Japan control over its police system.

Listen

AP: “New Gulf Spill Cleanup Head Says Job Is to Listen.” And what will Tony Hayward’s replacement, Bob Dudley, hear? Glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug....

But I won’t tolerate division

Obama fired Gen. Stanley “Another Fine Mess You’ve Gotten Us Into” McChrystal and replaced him with (sigh) David Petraeus. Then he went into the Rose Garden with Robert Gates, Col. Combover, the alliterative Mike Mullen, and Vice President Bite Me, and made a statement.


It’s not about McChrystal McCritizing him: “as Commander-in-Chief, I believe this decision is necessary to hold ourselves accountable to standards that are at the core of our democracy.” No fat chicks? No shirt no shoes no service?

WHAT HE WON’T TOLERATE: “I welcome debate among my team, but I won’t tolerate division.” Especially long division. He really does get more like Bush every day.


WHAT WE NEED TO REMEMBER: “We need to remember what this is all about. Our nation is at war.” Hands up everyone who’d forgotten.

WHAT WE FACE: “We face a very tough fight in Afghanistan. But Americans don’t flinch in the face of difficult truths or difficult tasks. We persist and we persevere.” We perspire and we perseverate. We persiflage and we...

HE’S ALWAYS SO CONCERNED THAT WE’RE GOING TO MAKE A MISTAKE: “So make no mistake: We have a clear goal.”


SO THEY ARE WINNING: “We are going to break the Taliban’s momentum.”

JUST LIKE WHEN I REPLACED GEORGE BUSH AND NOT A FUCKING THING CHANGED: “Let me say to the American people, this is a change in personnel but it is not a change in policy.”

He will not tolerate division, or any other hand position than in front of stomach, fingers interlocked
By the way, last night Obama hosted an LGBT Pride Month event at the White House and there’s not a single funny picture of it.

Today -100: June 23, 1910: Of dirigibles, savings, duels and... Throop?

In Germany, the very first passenger flight by an airship, the LZ 7 Deutschland, piloted by Count Zeppelin with 12 passengers and a buffet, flew the 250 miles from Friedrichschafen to Düsseldorf in 9 hours (their luggage went to Munich) (kidding!).

I predict the LZ 7 Deutschland will carry passengers for a long, long time.


The Postal Bank Bill passes, allowing people to open savings accounts under $500 (later raised) at post offices, at 2% interest, with deposits guaranteed by the government. The system existed until 1967. This was a Republican bill, opposed by Democrats and Robert La Follette. I’m not really sure why, perhaps because the bill was intended to stave off regulation and deposit guarantees for regular banks. The POs will re-deposit most of the funds in local banks, to keep the money in the local community (up to 30% may be put in government securities). Funds might also be invested in the Panama Canal, which is soaking up a lot of the federal budget.

A couple of Syrians fought a duel in Battery Park. One was shot in the hip.

Teddy Roosevelt, Jr. and his new wife, looking for privacy (and not getting it) (reporters went knocking on the hotel door of newlyweds, how tacky is that?) checked into a hotel in Chicago under an alias: William Throop Rogers.

Throop?

Today -100: June 22, 1910: Of flatties, aged colored women, and rheumatic justices

NYC Mayor William Jay Gaynor orders the plainclothes division of the NYPD abolished, putting 203 cops back into uniform – and reassigning them to different precincts. Gaynor believes the plainclothesmen were corrupt, and that they were used by captains to collect money in protection rackets (especially from saloons).

The city of Annapolis voted on a local bond measure. Eligible voters included all taxpayers, including women and even, the NYT breathlessly reports, an “aged colored woman.”

Congress passes an act to get rid of ailing (rheumatism) Supreme Court Justice William Henry Moody (perhaps best known as a prosecutor on the Lizzie Borden case), by giving him a full pension although he’s only 56 and only served 3½ years (and he hasn’t actually showed up at work in over a year). Normally, a full pension would come only after reaching 70 years of age and serving 10 years.

Today -100: June 21, 1910: Of legislation, universal peace, revolution averted, and impure blood

The Congressional session is nearing its end. Taft has moved much of his agenda through a Republican Congress with considerable success, having passed his Railroad Bill (substantially rewritten by the Republican “insurgents”), statehood for New Mexico and Arizona (he thinks they will vote Republican in gratitude), and is on course with his Conservation Bill, though having some trouble with his Postal Savings Bank Bill.

The House passed a bill creating a Peace Commission, appointed by the president, to “consider the expediency of utilizing existing international agencies for the purpose of limiting the armaments of the nations of the world by international agreement, and of constituting the combined navies of the world an international force for the preservation of universal peace”. Taft never actually appointed the commission. In his next State of the Union Address in December, Taft explained that that was because he was waiting to hear back from foreign governments. And waiting...

The Mexican government has seized a cache of arms, arrested opposition leaders and declared martial law on the border regions with the US, thus averting any chance of a revolution. This “revolution” was evidently to take the form of going to the polls on election day (June 26) and demanding to be allowed to vote.

A NYT editorial explains why all those reports and rumors about Kaiser Wilhelm’s knee are actually important: “the reputed impurity of the Hohenzollern blood.”

Contest: Name that yacht

As you all know, BP CEO Tony Hayward, that Wooster without a Jeeves, took time out from his busy schedule of whatever it is he does to fly to the Isle of Wight for the J.P. Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race. His yacht is called “Bob,” possibly named after the evil spirit guy in Twin Peaks. Still, Bob seems a rather informal name for a luxury yacht and anyway Hayward needs a more appropriately named yacht, so here’s your chance to NAME THAT YACHT.

The Limey Bastard?
The Oil-Soaked Pelican?
Top Kill?
Top Hat?
The Shakedown?

Today -100: June 20, 1910: Of the kaiser’s knee, and dogs and husbands

TMI kaiser: Kaiser Wilhelm’s physicians deny that his knee was lanced, and say that “the discharge has now almost ceased.” A “comprehensive denial has been made in order to set the alarm of the public at rest.”

“A Brooklyn Suffragette” writes in, pointing out that in NY a marriage license costs $1 and a dog license $2. “Can any of your readers advise me – is the dog worth the difference?”

Say it, don’t spray it

At a protest in Argentina over the killing of a 15-year-old by police.

Today -100: June 19, 1910: Of TR’s triumphal return and the kaiser’s knee

Roosevelt arrived in the US. First quarantine, then a parade. The very first ticket-tape parade. I saw film of the ship arriving on YouTube, but it was spectacularly dull, so I didn’t embed it.

All the news that’s fit to print: “Kaiser’s Knee Lanced.”

The quality of mercy is not tweeted

Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff announced the Medieval execution of Ronnie Lee Gardner by the 19th century method of a firing squad via a 21st century mode of communication:


Dude, you just played a pivotal role in the shooting death of another human being, so you don’t really get to act all superior on your iPhone about “the mercy he denied his victims.”

Today -100: June 18, 1910: Of negro schools

A Court of Appeals rules unconstitutional a Kentucky law requiring a majority vote of the (presumably white) electorate in any precinct before a negro industrial school can be located there.

Sanctification of the name of heaven

Intra-mural bigotry: an Ultra-Orthodox school in a West Bank settlement gets in legal trouble for segregating Ashkenazi and Sephardic girls (I assume the children are already separated by sex). 100,000 Ultra-Orthodox demonstrate in Jerusalem in favor of segregating Jews. Ha’aretz says the parents, who are facing prison sentences, “seemed elated Wednesday by the prospect of their impending arrest and two-week jail term, which some called ‘a historic stand for the sanctification of the name of heaven.’” They’ll be very pissed off if they get to heaven some day and find people not exactly like themselves there.

Today -100: June 17, 1910: Of trolleys, new states, abraded knees, wooden legs and glass eyes

A strikebreaker from the Philadelphia trolley strike is convicted of involuntary manslaughter for running down a 3-year-old girl, one of the many children run over by trolleys during the strike.

The Senate votes to admit Arizona and New Mexico as states. There is some difference with the House bill over whether to retain the educational requirement for voters in Arizona’s territorial constitution for the referendum for the state constitution; Republicans in the Senate stripped out that (racially motivated, I assume) provision. The two weren’t officially admitted until 1912 (Arizona delayed its entry so that it would coincide with the 50th anniversary of its becoming a Confederate Territory.)

More TMI about Kaiser Wilhelm: “Kaiser Again Indisposed. Abrasion on His Knee the Result of Friction in the Saddle.”

Headline of the Day -100: “Limits Decision to Legs.” The NJ Supreme Court declined to apply the “wooden leg” decision of Mullen [I think the Times means Goldman] v. Central Railroad Company, in which it reduced a verdict of $6,000 in damages to a man whose leg was cut off by a negligently operated railroad train to $3,500 because they make very nice artificial legs these days so his earning capacity won’t be too badly hurt, to the case of a man who lost an eye at the copper works at which he was employed. Evidently glass eyes are not as helpful as wooden legs.

The Times

It was hearing that the London Times was online that convinced me to go online 14½ years ago, so it’ll be sad when the day comes that I stop being able to get around the new pay wall. Today, for example, there’s a story about a python urinating on Prince Harry in Botswana (the headline adverts to “the royal wee.”

Cap in hand

Obama met with BP officials, who promised to put $20 billion in an escrow account. Obama said, “It’s also important to emphasize this is not a cap,” adding, “because those BP motherfuckers can’t motherfucking cap any motherfucking thing.”

No one, but no one, liked Obama’s speech yesterday. For me, it comes down to two underlying problems: 1) it seems to have been written entirely by his speechwriters. That is, it covered the bare minimum of things he had to say – doing everything we can, BP will pay, too bad about the shrimpers – but contained nothing that the president wanted to say – no call to arms, much less to conservation, nothing about the importance of the environment, no lessons learned – because the only thing this spill means to Obama is a PR problem he wants to get past. 2) By never telling us any difficult truths and never saying anything specific when a reassuring generality would do, he did not speak to us as as if we were intelligent adults. Bush would have given the same speech, word for word, except he’d have looked more sincere during the “blessing of the fleet” part.

The best Marine he can be

Evidently I missed the 2007 conviction of Sgt. Lawrence Hutchins III for the kidnapping and murder in Iraq in 2006 of Awad the Lame, a former cop crippled in the line of duty who Hutchins and other pissed-off Marines randomly chose to murder, and left a weapon and a shovel with his body to try and make him look like he’d been planting IEDs, being overturned in April. So Hutchins, the last of the convicted Marines to be released for the 2006 killing, is back on active duty (although the Navy is appealing the court decision). “I’m going to be the best Marine I can be today,” the war criminal told the AP, which isn’t quite as quotable as “Congratulations gents, we’ve just gotten away with murder.”

Today -100: June 16, 1910: Of a time when wars shall cease

Secretary of State Philander C. Knox makes a speech at the commencement of the University of Pennsylvania. According to him, “We have reached a point when it is evident that the future holds in store a time when wars shall cease... when by deliberate international conjunction the strong shall universally help the weak, and when the corporate righteousness of the world shall compel unrighteousness to disappear and shall destroy the habitations of cruelty still lingering in the dark places of the earth.” A date, we want a freaking date when that will happen, Philly. American foreign policy, he says, has always been marked by a “just, friendly, and generous American spirit”.

Obama’s oil spill speech: the Blessing of the Fleet

Obama gave a prime-time address to the nation on the BP oil spill.

MY, SUCH VIOLENT LANGUAGE: “I’ve returned from a trip to the Gulf Coast to speak with you about the battle we’re waging against an oil spill that is assaulting our shores and our citizens.”

OH, SO THAT’S WHY: “That’s why just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation’s best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge”.


UNLESS YOU COUNT CHENEY’S SECRET ENERGY TASK FORCE: “Already, this oil spill is the worst environmental disaster America has ever faced.”

WAIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS AS ASSAULT: “And unlike an earthquake or a hurricane, it’s not a single event... The millions of gallons of oil that have spilled into the Gulf of Mexico are more like an epidemic”.

THAT’S THE THING ABOUT OBAMA: HE NEVER WANTS US TO MAKE ANY MISTAKES: “But make no mistake: We will fight this spill with everything we’ve got for as long as it takes.” He didn’t say what we’ve got or how long it will take.

WAIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EPIDEMIC: “And sadly, no matter how effective our response is, there will be more oil and more damage before this siege is done.”

INFORMING: “Tomorrow, I will meet with the chairman of BP and inform him that he is to set aside whatever resources are required to compensate the workers and business owners who have been harmed as a result of his company’s recklessness.” I’m guessing he’ll “inform” Tony Hayward of that because he lacks the legal authority to order him to do it.


WHAT WE NEED: “we need a long-term plan to restore the unique beauty and bounty of this region.” And booty. And Ned Beatty.

NOBODY COULD HAVE PREDICTED...: “A few months ago, I approved a proposal to consider new, limited offshore drilling under the assurance that it would be absolutely safe –- that the proper technology would be in place and the necessary precautions would be taken.”

RUH ROH: “the transition to clean energy has the potential to grow our economy and create millions of jobs -– but only if we accelerate that transition. Only if we seize the moment. And only if we rally together and act as one nation”.

How will he “seize the moment” and “act as one nation”? By listening to Republicans, of course, because that always helps. “So I’m happy to look at other ideas and approaches from either party -– as long they seriously tackle our addiction to fossil fuels.” And then he’ll adopt those ideas and the Republicans will vote against them anyway, the end.

WHAT THE ONE APPROACH HE WILL NOT ACCEPT IS: “But the one approach I will not accept is inaction.” Oo, big talk. And what about failure? Is that an option, or is it maybe not an option?

And we can do it, he says, because we put a man on the moon, even though some people said it couldn’t be done. Which was the proof that technology can do anything at all, including drill safely for oil a mile beneath the ocean, so enough with the moon landing thing already, is what I’m saying.

“And yet, time and again, we have refused to settle for the paltry limits of conventional wisdom. Instead, what has defined us as a nation since our founding is the capacity to shape our destiny -– our determination to fight for the America we want for our children. Even if we’re unsure exactly what that looks like. Even if we don’t yet know precisely how we’re going to get there. We know we’ll get there.” Er, where was that again?


His big finish was about a local tradition called the “Blessing of the Fleet,” which he heard about in his many trips to the Gulf Coast or possibly when he rented The Perfect Storm. Priests of miscellaneous religions bless the shrimp boats, which then go out and sink, because “The blessing is not that God has promised to remove all obstacles and dangers. The blessing is that He is with us always.” Like the images in our brains of oil-coated pelicans.

Everything you need to know about the war in Afghanistan...

you can tell by Gen. David Petraeus’s unconsciousness.

Today -100: June 15, 1910: Of street corner oratory and the perversion of faith and morals

A mob of white men in Darrington, Washington expels 30 Japanese working for the United States Lumber Company from the town after partaking of “much street corner oratory.”

The pope withdraws the encyclical that so pissed off the Germans, referring to Luther as “heretical” and Protestantism “the perversion of faith and morals”. Now the Vatican says it didn’t intend to insult anyone.

Today -100: June 14, 1910: Of the rights of citizenship, American intervention in Nicaragua (I know!), and typoos

Teddy Roosevelt, at long last returning to America aboard the SS Kaiserin Auguste Victoria, showed that common touch for which he is renowned, attending a Catholic service in steerage. He welcomed the immigrants to America, warned them against associating with strangers upon landing, and “exhorted them to be mindful of the duties of citizenship and to protect the rights of women.”

Nicaraguan President Madriz sends a letter to Taft protesting the actions of the commander of the US gunboat Paducah, who threatened to fight government forces if they occupied the port of Bluefields, effectively protecting the Estradists as they retreated from the town. Then he insisted that customs duties not be paid to the government, now in possession of the customs house, but to the revolutionists. Evidently some of the rebel ships are flying the American flag.

The NYT index I use for these posts is full of sloppy typos, or possibly mis-readings based on faded newsprint. A few days ago I enjoyed “German Protest to Pore” (Pope). Today the supposed first paragraph of one story reads: “Declaring that, he is willing to resign his scat in Congress if he fails to convince a fairminded committee that the Administration should be investigated with regard tao the sale of sugur lands in the Philippines, Representative Martin of Colorado introduced another resolution in the House to-day upon this subject.” That’s a serious threat, because you know how much Rep. Martin loved his scat.