Today -100: June 30, 1910: Of peace

The NYT supports the idea of Taft naming Teddy Roosevelt to head the Peace Commission, “for no other voice would be more listened to.” Although you’d think Taft must have been getting just a little tired of being constantly over-shadowed by his predecessor.

The first international conflict TR might be called upon to settle is a territorial dispute between Canada and the United States, which contests Canada’s claim to exclusive jurisdiction over Hudson Bay. Which basically only affects American whalers, who don’t really care, and they’re whale-killers, so fuck ‘em.

I’ve always said, it’s all about...

...the hats. Queen Elizabeth visits Canada and meets Mi’kmaq Chief... wait for it... Sylliboy.

Today -100: June 29, 1910: What’s the German for “Oh, the humanity”?

In Britain, Prime Minister Asquith has scuttled an attempt by MPs to pass a compromise women’s suffrage bill by refusing to give up any parliamentary time to it. The militant campaign, which has been paused, first for the general election, then so that this bill could be passed, is likely to be resumed.

Say, remember the LZ 7 Deutschland? Began commercial flights last week? It crashed in a storm in Lower Saxony. No one was killed, but the Deutschland is a wreck, “pierced with pine tree stems, a mass of deflated silk and twisted aluminium.” This was its third voyage. It cost $137,500.

Headline of the Day -100: “Police to Stop Smoking Autos.” They’ll go back to cigarettes.

Cat-iversary: I believe amoxicillin is traditional

Today is Christabel and my second anniversary. My gift to her: a plastic ball that rolls down the stairs quite satisfactorily, which I found in the back yard, probably courtesy of the children next door, but I’m sure they must have intended it as a present for my cat. Her gift to me: an accidental scratch that became infected and spread to my lymph system. I think that sums up the human-cat relationship pretty well.

I could show you the pictures I took of my gnarly infection, or, alternatively, the most recent cat pictures.

Today -100: June 28, 1910: Of colossal frauds and automobile accidents

In the lobby of the Cuban Congress, Congresscritter Manuel Lores shot at another congresscritter, Antonio San Miguel, but missed, grazing the head of Conservative Party leader Antonio Gonzales Lanuza. San Miguel had denounced a railroad deal as a colossal fraud.

Robert Taft, son of the president (and later a US senator), driving one of the president’s cars (how many did he own?), ran over an Italian street laborer, one Michael Thisthwolla.

Cool (so to speak)

Iceland’s gay marriage law came into effect today. One of the first to take advantage of it: Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir.

Name of the Day

I heard this on the BBC World News today and had to confirm it on line – had a bit of difficulty with the spelling: involved in covering up the Catholic child abuse scandal in Belgium: Cardinal Godfried Danneels.

Today -100: June 27, 1910: Of elections, shotgun marriages, and imperial preaching

Mexican President slash general (but he really wants to direct) Porfirio Díaz is reelected. No doubt it was a totally fair election, and the opposition Anti-Reelectionist Party, (led by Francisco Madero, who Díaz had arrested) got 2% of the vote.

The Mexican military has been holding “trials” for participants in the Valladolid uprising, followed rapidly by executions. Two defendants were allowed to get married before being put in front of the firing squad.

Kaiser Wilhelm preached a sermon yesterday (Sunday) aboard the imperial yacht. I’d make a What Would Jesus Do joke, but I guess Jesus and Wilhelm did both inherit their father’s business. Wilhelm’s topic was “Did Jesus Live?” The NYT does not inform us of the kaiser’s position on this question.

Today -100: June 26, 1910: Of taxing and spending, conspiracies, and lethal roosters

The outgoing Congress appropriated a record $1,055,000,000.

Sen. William Stone (D-MO) tells the Senate that a syndicate of bankers and whatnot exists in the US to exploit the finances of Nicaragua, backing the Estradist rebels in order to gain control of Nicaragua’s public debt, and calls for the Foreign Relations Committee to investigate US-Nicaraguan relations. Nothing will happen, of course, and Secretary of State Knox denies having heard of any such syndicate. Sen. Stone, of course, is entirely correct.

Retired Colonel William Bradford Homer is killed by a rooster.

Disclose

Um, always?

Ray’s Hell Burger is other people

I hear the latest DVD of Dr. Caligari, the German expressionist classic about a deranged mesmerist who hypnotizes his assistant into killing on his behalf, is much more complete than earlier versions.

Anyway, Obama took Dmitri Medvedev to Ray’s Hell Burger for lunch yesterday. Medvedev had a Coke, so America wins. Wait, he and Obama shared an order of fries, so socialism wins. Oh noes!

CAPTION CONTEST:


(P.S. I’m also told that the restored material in the recent re-release of Metropolis changes your perspective on the film entirely.)

Today -100: June 25, 1910: What’ll we do with a problem like Arizona?

Oklahoma Sen. Thomas Gore claims in the Senate that he and a congresscritter from OK were offered large bribes to drop legislation that would limit the fees lawyers would receive for services in selling off lands of the Choctaw and Chickasaw Indians (estimated at $3 million to $16m, in 1910 dollars) (lands with oil or coal under them). Gore says congresscritters and former congresscritters have financial interests in the contracts.

The new almost-state Arizona has a population of only 200,000, 60% of whom are “of Mexican blood, and frequently ignorant of the English language.” The NYT concludes, “Arizona, it will be seen, is something of a problem at the very outset.”

The dirigible LZ 7 Deutschland’s second commercial flight carries 32 passengers and crew, the most ever flown in a dirigible. It ran into a storm, but rode it out. The Deutschland is sold out for its next week of scheduled flights, and the promoters are sure it will pay for itself.

I predict the LZ 7 Deutschland will carry passengers for a long, long time.

Name of the Day -100: Hootookatoo, a Tibetan high priest ordered executed by the Dalai Lama (for attempting to assassinate him – with sorcery) 3 years ago. China (which deposed the DL and occupied Tibet), has issued a royal edict ordering Hootookatoo reincarnated (can they do that?)

Headline of the Day -100: “Tainted Beef in Army Manoeuvres.” Scary.

Today -100: June 24, 1910: Of accomplishing all one’s goals

Taft brags that just 1/3 into his term, he has fulfilled all his election pledges. I guess he can spend the rest of his term at home in Ohio clearing brush, or whatever one does in Ohio.

Taft rejects an attempt to insert into a bill a provision banning the Justice Dept using the Sherman Anti-Trust Act against unions.

Korea “agrees” to give Japan control over its police system.

Listen

AP: “New Gulf Spill Cleanup Head Says Job Is to Listen.” And what will Tony Hayward’s replacement, Bob Dudley, hear? Glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug glug....

But I won’t tolerate division

Obama fired Gen. Stanley “Another Fine Mess You’ve Gotten Us Into” McChrystal and replaced him with (sigh) David Petraeus. Then he went into the Rose Garden with Robert Gates, Col. Combover, the alliterative Mike Mullen, and Vice President Bite Me, and made a statement.


It’s not about McChrystal McCritizing him: “as Commander-in-Chief, I believe this decision is necessary to hold ourselves accountable to standards that are at the core of our democracy.” No fat chicks? No shirt no shoes no service?

WHAT HE WON’T TOLERATE: “I welcome debate among my team, but I won’t tolerate division.” Especially long division. He really does get more like Bush every day.


WHAT WE NEED TO REMEMBER: “We need to remember what this is all about. Our nation is at war.” Hands up everyone who’d forgotten.

WHAT WE FACE: “We face a very tough fight in Afghanistan. But Americans don’t flinch in the face of difficult truths or difficult tasks. We persist and we persevere.” We perspire and we perseverate. We persiflage and we...

HE’S ALWAYS SO CONCERNED THAT WE’RE GOING TO MAKE A MISTAKE: “So make no mistake: We have a clear goal.”


SO THEY ARE WINNING: “We are going to break the Taliban’s momentum.”

JUST LIKE WHEN I REPLACED GEORGE BUSH AND NOT A FUCKING THING CHANGED: “Let me say to the American people, this is a change in personnel but it is not a change in policy.”

He will not tolerate division, or any other hand position than in front of stomach, fingers interlocked
By the way, last night Obama hosted an LGBT Pride Month event at the White House and there’s not a single funny picture of it.

Today -100: June 23, 1910: Of dirigibles, savings, duels and... Throop?

In Germany, the very first passenger flight by an airship, the LZ 7 Deutschland, piloted by Count Zeppelin with 12 passengers and a buffet, flew the 250 miles from Friedrichschafen to Düsseldorf in 9 hours (their luggage went to Munich) (kidding!).

I predict the LZ 7 Deutschland will carry passengers for a long, long time.


The Postal Bank Bill passes, allowing people to open savings accounts under $500 (later raised) at post offices, at 2% interest, with deposits guaranteed by the government. The system existed until 1967. This was a Republican bill, opposed by Democrats and Robert La Follette. I’m not really sure why, perhaps because the bill was intended to stave off regulation and deposit guarantees for regular banks. The POs will re-deposit most of the funds in local banks, to keep the money in the local community (up to 30% may be put in government securities). Funds might also be invested in the Panama Canal, which is soaking up a lot of the federal budget.

A couple of Syrians fought a duel in Battery Park. One was shot in the hip.

Teddy Roosevelt, Jr. and his new wife, looking for privacy (and not getting it) (reporters went knocking on the hotel door of newlyweds, how tacky is that?) checked into a hotel in Chicago under an alias: William Throop Rogers.

Throop?

Today -100: June 22, 1910: Of flatties, aged colored women, and rheumatic justices

NYC Mayor William Jay Gaynor orders the plainclothes division of the NYPD abolished, putting 203 cops back into uniform – and reassigning them to different precincts. Gaynor believes the plainclothesmen were corrupt, and that they were used by captains to collect money in protection rackets (especially from saloons).

The city of Annapolis voted on a local bond measure. Eligible voters included all taxpayers, including women and even, the NYT breathlessly reports, an “aged colored woman.”

Congress passes an act to get rid of ailing (rheumatism) Supreme Court Justice William Henry Moody (perhaps best known as a prosecutor on the Lizzie Borden case), by giving him a full pension although he’s only 56 and only served 3½ years (and he hasn’t actually showed up at work in over a year). Normally, a full pension would come only after reaching 70 years of age and serving 10 years.

Today -100: June 21, 1910: Of legislation, universal peace, revolution averted, and impure blood

The Congressional session is nearing its end. Taft has moved much of his agenda through a Republican Congress with considerable success, having passed his Railroad Bill (substantially rewritten by the Republican “insurgents”), statehood for New Mexico and Arizona (he thinks they will vote Republican in gratitude), and is on course with his Conservation Bill, though having some trouble with his Postal Savings Bank Bill.

The House passed a bill creating a Peace Commission, appointed by the president, to “consider the expediency of utilizing existing international agencies for the purpose of limiting the armaments of the nations of the world by international agreement, and of constituting the combined navies of the world an international force for the preservation of universal peace”. Taft never actually appointed the commission. In his next State of the Union Address in December, Taft explained that that was because he was waiting to hear back from foreign governments. And waiting...

The Mexican government has seized a cache of arms, arrested opposition leaders and declared martial law on the border regions with the US, thus averting any chance of a revolution. This “revolution” was evidently to take the form of going to the polls on election day (June 26) and demanding to be allowed to vote.

A NYT editorial explains why all those reports and rumors about Kaiser Wilhelm’s knee are actually important: “the reputed impurity of the Hohenzollern blood.”

Contest: Name that yacht

As you all know, BP CEO Tony Hayward, that Wooster without a Jeeves, took time out from his busy schedule of whatever it is he does to fly to the Isle of Wight for the J.P. Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race. His yacht is called “Bob,” possibly named after the evil spirit guy in Twin Peaks. Still, Bob seems a rather informal name for a luxury yacht and anyway Hayward needs a more appropriately named yacht, so here’s your chance to NAME THAT YACHT.

The Limey Bastard?
The Oil-Soaked Pelican?
Top Kill?
Top Hat?
The Shakedown?

Today -100: June 20, 1910: Of the kaiser’s knee, and dogs and husbands

TMI kaiser: Kaiser Wilhelm’s physicians deny that his knee was lanced, and say that “the discharge has now almost ceased.” A “comprehensive denial has been made in order to set the alarm of the public at rest.”

“A Brooklyn Suffragette” writes in, pointing out that in NY a marriage license costs $1 and a dog license $2. “Can any of your readers advise me – is the dog worth the difference?”