Not that there’s anything wrong with that

Quote of the Day, John Boehner on Barack Obama: “I’m sure I’ll have to give him strokes.”

Today -100: January 31, 1911: Of non-mobs, water landings, and scoffers

The rebels who captured Mexicali have sent a letter to the sheriff of Imperial County, California, warning against an attempt being planned (by whom the letter does not say) to make a raid across the border to release one of the rebels’ prisoners. The letter notes that this would violate the US’s neutrality laws, and adds in a P.S., “You must bear in mind that we are not a mob. We are fighting for our principles.” The rebels have since left Mexicali, taking $2,000, plus $500 in ransom for the sub-prefect.

Headline of the Day -100: “M’Curdy Flies Nearly to Cuba.” You know, nearly really doesn’t cut it. Attempting the first ever trans-oceanic flight, Douglas McCurdy took off from Key West but an oil leak forced a water landing 10 miles from Havana. He (and his plane) were picked up safely by a destroyer.

Margaret Shipley has completed her 8-day fasting trance and says that her blindness is, um, somewhat better now, but “Not enough at least to satisfy the scoffers.” Yet.

Daily Telegraphy

We learn today from the world’s greatest newspaper that:

Footage on China Central Television which purported to be of the J-10 fighter was actually taken from the movie “Top Gun.”

A 19-year-old in the West Midlands had a fatal traffic accident because a slug had crossed the road (shorting out traffic lights controlling the approaches to a single-lane bridge).

But really, a picture is worth a thousand blog posts (well, a picture on this blog of Berlusconi’s favorite showgirl/dental hygienist/regional councillor/pimp Nicole Minetti in a yellow bikini on a swing is currently 1,000 times more popular than any of my blog posts), and today the Telegraph provides us with:

Pigeons going Hitchcock on the papal ass,


and Nicolas Sarkozy, representing France in Addis Ababa.

Today -100: January 30, 1911: Of lynchings, trances, oysters, and Atlantis

Mexicali falls to the rebels. They’re trying to capture border towns to facilitate easier smuggling of weapons from the United States.

A black man is lynched in St. Tammany Parish, Louisiana, after supposedly attacking a white child in the house where he worked. His body is left hanging from a pine tree, riddled with bullets.

Ecuador’s president gives in to the large crowds that have been protesting outside the presidential palace for days, and will not lease the Galapagos to the United States.

Margaret Shipley, 25, blind since birth, has been conducting a public fast and self-hypnotic trance in McKeesport, Pennsylvania. She had announced that on Monday night she will awake and will be able to see again. Evidently a child evangelist promised her that an 8-day fast would restore her sight. And Heaven told her that she also had to dress in spotless white, recline on a white couch, and part her hair in the middle. And no one is to touch her during these days, or “he will fall dead and everything will be spoiled.” 25,000 people have come to witness the event, filing past her room. A NYT editorial declares Ms. Shipley “densely ignorant, grossly superstitious, and dreadfully weak of mind” but is especially alarmed by the number who made the pilgrimage to see her, which it blames on “the imperfection of our civilization, the inadequacy of our educational system, and the persistence among us, here and there, or great groups of people who are still living in the Dark Ages.” Will Shipley see again? Tune in tomorrow.

Headline of the Day -100: “England Rushes To Defend Her Oyster.” Evidently the NYT ran an editorial I missed attacking the English oyster (“a brown thing that tastes like copper”), and the British papers have responded, the Daily Express saying... oh, who cares, it’s a feud over oysters.

Leo Frobenius, the German African explorer, sends word that he has discovered evidence of the existence of Atlantis. In Togo. An ancient bronze bust with Greek markings. Which proves that the Athenians invaded Atlantis. In Togo.

Today -100: January 29, 1911: Of guillotines, crimes passionelles, matches, badgers, and bigamists

A Paris jury sentences a 16-year-old and a 17-year-old to the guillotine for killing a bank collector. “Alluding to the different prison régime to which they would be henceforth subjected, one of them said: ‘Now, at last we can play cards,’ and the other added, ‘Yes, and drink wine.’”

France is moving to change the law – yes, an actual written law – allowing a husband to kill his wife’s lover. It may also equalize the law of adultery. At present a husband guilty of adultery can only be fined around $5, while a wife can be imprisoned.

A (unnamed by the NYT) London newspaper says that there are many more pretty British women now (-100) than there were a year ago. It attributes this to their getting more rest because there have been fewer parties and bridge has gotten less popular. I think the fewer parties thing is because the death of Edward VII put a crimp on the London season.

At the strong request of President Taft, The Diamond Match Company (aka, the Match Trust), has granted everybody free use of its patent for matches manufactured without white phosphorus. Match workers tended to get poisoned, which produced something called phossy jaw (do an image search in your favorite search engine if you want to be grossed out).

Disappointing Headline of the Day -100: “Banker Badger Victim.” A couple kidnapped a banker and forced him to write a check (but he was able to throw a help note out the window). No actual badgers involved.

King George V has instituted criminal libel proceedings against Edward Mylius (that is, a criminal trial, not a civil suit; Mylius has been in prison since December) for reports in the republican newspaper The Liberator (printed in Paris) that the king is a bigamist, having married the daughter of an admiral.

The people of Egypt have rights that are universal

Obama made a statement about Egypt, after having spoken by phone with Hosni Mubarak. He had the difficult task of trying to give the appearance of supporting democracy in Egypt without actually suggesting that its undemocratic government step down.

AND THE PEOPLE OF THE UNIVERSE HAVE RIGHTS THAT ARE EGYPTIAN: “The people of Egypt have rights that are universal.”

One of those rights is evidently access to the internet and social networking sites, which Obama called on the government to restore.

VERY CLEAR: “So I want to be very clear in calling upon the Egyptian authorities to refrain from any violence against peaceful protestors.”

RESPONSIBILITY: “[T]hose protesting in the streets have a responsibility to express themselves peacefully. Violence and destruction will not lead to the reforms that they seek.” You’ll notice that he’s okay with cops using violence against non-peaceful protesters, but not with the demonstrators resisting brutal repression. Just as in his Cairo speech in ‘09, Obama is insisting that violence and revolution are not legitimate means of opposing barbaric, illegitimate dictatorships. That’s what Twitter accounts are for, I guess.

IS THAT THE SAME AS A SPUTNIK MOMENT? “this moment of volatility has to be turned into a moment of promise.”

RESPONSIBILITY: “When President Mubarak addressed the Egyptian people tonight, he pledged a better democracy and greater economic opportunity. I just spoke to him after his speech and I told him he has a responsibility to give meaning to those words, to take concrete steps and actions that deliver on that promise.” Actually, as the unelected dictator, the only “responsibility” he has is to step the fuck down.

WHAT’S NEEDED RIGHT NOW: “What’s needed right now are concrete steps that advance the rights of the Egyptian people: a meaningful dialogue between the government and its citizens...” The citizens told the government to fuck off, is that not meaningful enough for you? You’ll notice he’s not calling for a free, open, transparent democratic election to replace the government so there’s a legitimate basis for that meaningful dialogue. “...and a path of political change that leads to a future of greater freedom and greater opportunity and justice for the Egyptian people.” Not actual freedom and opportunity and justice, just a “path of political change,” i.e., a slow gradual process whose purpose is to put off freedom and opportunity and justice for as long as possible.

MORE PYRAMIDS BUILT BY SLAVE LABOR? “Put simply, the Egyptian people want a future that befits the heirs to a great and ancient civilization.”

AND THAT’S WHY THEY STOCK UP ON TANKS AND AMERICAN-MADE TEAR GAS: “Around the world governments have an obligation to respond to their citizens.”

Well then he won’t refer to you as a toadying moron

Vice President Biden on Hosni Mubarak, 2011: “[He] has been an ally of ours in a number of things. And he’s been very responsible on, relative to geopolitical interest in the region, the Middle East peace efforts; the actions Egypt has taken relative to normalizing relationship with – with Israel. … I would not refer to him as a dictator.”

Vice President Bush to Ferdinand Marcos, 1981: “We love your adherence to democratic principles and to democratic processes.”

“In other words”.... Where have I heard that before?

George Bush will be interviewed by C-SPAN Sunday on the subject of why he doesn’t want to be interviewed by C-SPAN: “It’s tough enough to be president as it is without a former president undermining the current president. Plus, I don’t want to do that. In other words, in spite of the fact that I’m now on TV, I don’t want to be on TV.”

Today -100: January 28, 1911: Of revolutions, invasions, and expositions

A NYT editorial notes that the rebellions in Mexico and Honduras have received finances and arms from within the United States, and claims that neither country shows “any signs of genuine political revolution.”

Washington’s lower house votes to make women eligible for jury duty.

9 days ago I reported that Colombia had invaded Peru. Haven’t seen another word about that since, but now evidently Peru has invaded Ecuador (or, if you believe Peru, Ecuador attacked Peru).

Massive protest in Guayaquil, Ecuador, against the proposed lease of the Galapagos to the US.

Taft assures senators from the Pacific states that the re-negotiated treaty with Japan will “tacitly” allow existing restrictions on Japanese immigration to continue. Last November Taft met California Governor-Elect Hiram Johnson and asked him to get Californians not to stir up a racist fuss against the Japanese, in return for the forthcoming Panama Exposition being held in San Francisco.

Today -100: January 27, 1911: Of diriplanes, racial exclusion, women’s suffrage, and tariffs

A Lt. H.E. Honeywell is trying to make a combination airplane-dirigible, which he will call.... the diriplane. Good luck with that, lieutenant.

Another aviation first with military applications: Glenn Curtiss has taken off from the water (San Diego Bay) and landed on water. The military is still thinking of planes mostly in terms of aerial observation and scouting.

A US-Japanese treaty from 1894 is due to expire in 1912 and needs to be re-negotiated. Japan is demanding that the provision allowing racist US immigration laws be removed. Japan is basically happy to continue its agreement to restrict emigration to the US but doesn’t like the stigma of the racial exclusion laws.

President Taft has received a petition from prominent Jews demanding that the State Dept end its practice of not issuing passports to American Jews intending to visit Russia (which would not honor them).

The California state senate approves women’s suffrage 33-5.

I probably should mention the treaty with Canada for reciprocity of tariffs. There, I’ve mentioned it.

Well?

Is everyone winning the future yet? If not, get on with it. The future won’t win itself, you know.

Today -100: January 26, 1911: Of revolutions and dock workers

The NYT has finally stopped pooh-poohing the Mexican Revolution. After a slow start, the insurrectos have been defeating the military every time they’ve engaged recently, and have just captured the border town of San Ignacio, 40 miles from El Paso.

The Sherman Anti-Trust Act is again used against a union. Members of the New Orleans Dock and Cotton Council are convicted of conspiracy to interfere with foreign commerce for a strike against a steamer that had been loaded by non-union longshoremen.

State of the Union Address 2011: Poised for Progress

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Today -100: January 25, 1911: Of anarchists, senators, the size of Congress, and progressives

Twelve Japanese anarchists are executed for conspiring against the royal family (see the interesting ExecutedToday.com post on this).

The Nevada Legislature ratifies the results of the non-binding popular re-election of US Senator George Nixon, even though Nixon is a Republican and the Legislature has a Democratic majority, because Nixon and his opponent had agreed to abide by the popular vote.

The Democrats in the West Virginia Legislature didn’t wait for the fugitive Republican senators to return and went ahead with the vote for US senators. The R’s in the lower house didn’t vote either – presumably in protest, although the NYT doesn’t say – and not surprisingly two Democrats were elected, William Chilton and Clarence Watson. Accusations of bribery were made in the election of Watson, a coal baron.

Congress is considering reapportionment under something called the Crumpacker Act, which only sounds like a bizarre sexual act. To avoid reducing the number of Representatives any state has, the Act foresees increasing the size of the House to 433, and more when Arizona and New Mexico become states. Some people consider this too large and unwieldy, too difficult to assemble a quorum. And Republicans, who did so badly at the state level in the 1910 elections, are afraid that newly Democratic state legislatures will gerrymander the new seats in favor of the D’s.

Theodore Roosevelt has refrained from adding his name to the Declaration of Principles of the National Progressive Republican League, on the advice of the Progressives who wanted the League to look like a movement for progressive legislation rather than for the election of certain candidates for certain offices in 1912.

Today -100: January 24, 1911: Of pogroms foreign and domestic, and droll objects

Turks in the southern province of Adana seem to be planning new massacres of Armenians, if marking their houses with a red cross and the word “death” is any indication.

Night riders in Hominy, Oklahoma, drive out all the black residents, with polite suggestions and dynamite.

The fugitive West Virginia Republican state senators agree to return from Ohio, with the issues at dispute with the D’s to be referred to committee for arbitration.

Madame Curie is defeated for admission to the French Academy of Sciences, because she is une femme.

In a New York theater, the performance of “a burlesque suffragette” wearing a man’s coat and a divided skirt, a “droll object,” was interrupted by real suffragettes in the balcony. “Look at us, we are real suffragettes. Do we look like her?” they yelled.

The norms and rules of the international system

The Israeli investigation of the flotillacide finds that shooting up the flotilla last May was totally cool. Self-defense, in fact. Defense Minister Ehud Barak says this proves “that Israel was a law-abiding country that could inspect itself and which respects the norms and rules of the international system.” Yes, that’s precisely what the latest whitewash shows. A country that can inspect itself and find itself to be innocent as the driven snow and as adorable as a newborn kitten.

However, I can agree that a country that mows down unarmed civilians on a humanitarian mission and then claims self-defense does indeed respect the norms of the international system, if you really want to judge yourself by the lowest possible standard of behaviour there is.

Today -100: January 23, 1911: Of gunboats and babies

A force from the US gunboat Tacoma boards the Hornet, a gunboat outfitted in New Orleans in support of Gen. Bonilla’s attempted takeover of Honduras.

Riots break out in the Chinese “treaty port” of Hankou when British police are believed to have killed a coolie. British and German gunboats landed troops, and 10 Chinese were killed in the fighting.

Headline of the Day -100: “Police Flee From a Baby.” An abandoned baby which the policemen (bachelors, the Times notes) didn’t want to have to carry around. One forced the 9-year-old who had found the baby to carry it to the station house, then faked stomach cramps to avoid having to take it to Bellevue.

State of the Union adjective contest

I don’t think Obama actually did a “The state of the union is strong/hopeful/hungover” sentence last year, which is a mistake. It’s like the Alfred Hitchcock cameo: you can’t just relax and watch the movie until you’ve spotted him walking a dog or wrestling with a cello.

Still, even if he doesn’t play his role, my annual role here is to offer you this contest. Fill in this sentence: “The state of the union is _____” Fearful? Olbermannless? Tea Partying Like It’s 1773? Totally over “Glee”?

Today -100: January 22, 1911: Of senators on the run, young FDR, and buffalo

Sen. Thomas Carter (R-Montana) warns that the proposed constitutional amendment for popular election of the Senate is being used “to saddle the disfranchisement of negro voters upon the country by constitutional amendment” by removing the ability of Congress to regulate Senate elections.

The 15 Republican West Virginia state senators are still in self-imposed exile outside the state (having dinner with President Taft’s brother), but the 15 D’s think they can form a quorum without the R’s since 4 of them were never properly sworn in. So they may just go ahead and select the US senators.

An article in the NYT magazine section on a new 28-year-old New York state senator begins, “It is safe to predict that the African jungle will never resound with the crack of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s rifle”, unlike his fifth cousin. There’s not much to say about FDR, because he hasn’t accomplished much of anything yet, beyond leading insurgent D’s unwilling to accept Tammany dictation about who the next US senator should be, but the article, which I imagine is the first real look at FDR in the press, says it at some length.

The US evidently suggested to Ecuador that the US lease the Galapagos Islands from it for 99 years for $15m, I guess for use by the Navy.

The last buffalo: the owner of the last existing herd of buffalo in the United States has sold 500 head to Canada and is killing off the remaining 20, in violation of Montana game laws.

A healthy lay status

The pope criticized Silvio Berlusconi for fucking all those prostitutes, saying, “The singular vocation that the city of Rome requires today of you, who are public officials, is to offer a good example of the positive and useful interaction between a healthy lay status and the Christian faith.” Um, yeah.