Friday, January 15, 1999

And on and on. Bill McCullom actually summarized yesterday’s summary of the Starr Report. Jeff Greenfield on CNN is speculating that none of the House managers are speaking to each other, since they all deem it necessary to repeat the same damn things, including reading what Betty Currie said Clinton said to her (perhaps if it gets repeated enough times, we’ll all be convinced that Currie was able months later to remember it word for word?). Jon Stewart on Nightline described the Republicans from the House as looking like “every guy who ever fired my father.” McCullom looks like Clark Kent sucking on a kryptonite lemon. Now let’s see if I’ve got this argument straight: perjury must be impeachable because the Federal sentencing guidelines (the ones written in the 1980s?) said that perjury is as bad as bribery, which is mentioned in the Constitution. Head...hurt. The guidelines also say that crack is much worse than powder cocaine. And Clinton was lying when he said he wasn’t paying attention to his lawyer. If he has to deal with people like these Congressmen every day, I’ll bet he’s mastered the art of looking like he’s paying attention when he isn’t. As opposed to the Senator, I forget which one, who’s been showing up wearing sunglasses so no one can be sure when he’s sleeping.

I’ve read the affidavit of Bob Barr’s ex-wife, on the web, of course. What is it with Republican first wives and cancer? Bob reacted to her breast cancer and chemotherapy by saying she should take her mind off it by working for his election campaign.

Christopher Hitchens quotes Clinton after ordering the missile strike on Sudan: “I was here on this island [Martha’s Vineyard, poor baby] till 2:30 in the morning, trying to make absolutely sure that at the chemical plant there was no night shift. .. I didn’t want some person who was a nobody to me--but who may have a family to feed and a life to live and probably had no earthly idea what else was going on there [a CIA official?]--to die needlessly.”

And Michael Douglas in the movie “The American President,” which we know Clinton has seen because it’s about a president who dates: “Somewhere in Libya right now, a janitor is working the night shift at Libyan intelligence headquarters. And he’s going about doing his job because he has no idea that in about an hour he’s going to die in a massive explosion.”

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