Wednesday, June 04, 2003

G'day, your majesty. Put another dual-sex shrimp on the barbie

The US is printing new dinars for use in Iraq, complete with portrait of Saddam Hussein. Could be worse: In Rummy we trust.

Today’s NYT reports that a Florida judge has appointed a guardian to decide whether that severely retarded woman should have an abortion. Which is odd, because I’m pretty sure I read last week that she had one. The article (from AP) has another omission, not even mentioning what the judge said about the state’s request he appoint a separate guardian for the fetus.

MBABANE, Swaziland (Reuters) --Swaziland's absolute monarch has singled out women wearing pants as the cause of the world's ills in a state radio sermon that also condemned human rights as an "abomination before God." "The Bible says curse be unto a woman who wears pants, and those who wear their husband's clothes. That is why the world is in such a state today," Mswati, ruler of the impoverished feudal nation of about one million, said late on Thursday.

Reuters neglects to add that Mswati is looking forward to his 10th marriage (I believe he adds a new one every year), to a woman he picked from a video of topless dancers.

After a bill is proposed in the Iowa legislature allowing a casino to be built near the Nebraska border. So Neb. state senator Pam Brown introduced a bill declaring war on Iowa.

As I said last week, the North West Province of Pakistan has introduced sharia law and compulsory prayers and is working on establishing a Taliban-style religious police. Can the banning of kites be far behind? Actually, what I think is going on is that they are being encouraged by Pakistan’s military leaders, as proof that democracy doesn’t work in Islamic countries, so that they will get no shit from the rest of the world when they crack down and permanently shelve plans to restore civilian democratic rule. You can already see the first steps.

On the other hand, Saudi Arabia bans Michael Jackson music, so there may be something to this Islamic censorship stuff.

One of my oldest recurrent themes is the Bible translated into Ebonics, Klingon, Yorkshire, etc. And now, Aussie. "G'day, Your Majesty!" the three “eggheads from out east” said to the infant Jesus.

Best headline of the day, from the Times: “Scare over Dual-Sex Shrimps.” The effects of pollution. I have images of a seafood Crying Game going through my head.

A Mexican national bought a car from one of those government auctions in the US, and then drove it home. At the border, 119 pounds of marijuana were discovered in the car’s bumpers. He spent 3 months in jail and is now suing the government.

The Department of Justice’s Inspector General admits massive violations of the rights of immigrants detained after 9/11. Gee, no kidding. My favorite detail: the detention center at Brooklyn insists that they did tell prisoners that they were allowed one phone call a week. The contend that when prisoners were occasionally asked “Are you OK?” they should have understood that to mean “Do you want to place a legal telephone call this week?” Ah, text-message speak.

The Supreme Court refused to hear a class-action suit by people who were tricked into signing on for the military for 20 years by promises of free lifetime medical care. The circuit court had said that recruiters didn’t have the authority to make such promises, so the government isn’t legally bound to abide by them.

The Guardian made a suggestion for why Bush wants to make an impact in the Middle East--he wants to win the votes of Jews in Florida because he needs the moral victory of actually winning the state for real in 2004.

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