Sunday, January 01, 2006

In other words, the enemy is calling somebody and we want to know who they’re calling and why

Bush visited an army hospital today: “I can’t think of a better way to start 2006 then here at this fantastic hospital.” I’m sure the patients feel exactly the same way.

He then compared their war wounds with the scratch he has on his forehead, from “combat with a Cedar.”

Asked about domestic surveillance, he claimed that it only applied to calls made to this country by people calling from outside the country. “In other words, the enemy is calling somebody and we want to know who they’re calling and why.” Poppycock. (Update: the White House corrected him almost immediately.) He reassured us that the program “has been reviewed, constantly reviewed, by people throughout my administration. And it still is reviewed.” Sort of a Siskel & Ebert thing. Rove is the fat one, Gonzales is the skinny one.

He explained why the Fourth Amendment is irrelevant: “Now, some say, well, maybe this isn’t a war; maybe this is just a law enforcement operation. I strongly disagree.” He adds, “the American people expect the Commander-in-Chief to protect them, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.” This from a man who just lost a fight with a cedar.

A cedar.

Also says his 2004 claim that any wiretaps required a court order applied only to roving wire taps, which is like a totally different program. So he wasn’t lying through his ass, no sirree bob.

Says General Casey is doing a “fabulous job” in Iraq, does not say whether that is better or worse than a “heckuva job.”

A reporter asks him why God allows bad things (like the wounds of the soldiers he’s been visiting) to happen to good people. “First of all, Mike, I’m conscious not to be trying to substitute myself for God.” “Here at this exclusive restaurant, we’ve secretly substituted their usual All-mighty and Omniscient Deity with George W. Bush. Let’s see if they notice...”

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