Monday, February 09, 2009

Obama press conference: So what I’m trying to underscore is what the people in Elkhart already understand


He talked a great deal about his visit to Elkhart, Indiana, which is for him what Joe the Plumber was for McCain and Palin. Evidently Elkhart, Indiana has lost jobs faster than anywhere else in America, and is the RV capital of America. TV stations “have started running public service announcements to tell people where to find food banks, even as the food banks don’t have enough to meet the demand.” So the tv stations are really just screwing with them. So cruel.

UH OH, THE DUDE’S GETTING DELUSIONS OF BEING AN ECONOMIST: “What I’ve said is what other economists have said...”

WORST DISNEYLAND RIDE EVER: “If you delay acting on an economy of this severity, then you potentially create a negative spiral”.

We don’t want to lose a decade, like Japan. Actually, Japan was just giving us a head start. They’re just very sporting like that.

WE’RE SPECIAL: “So what I’m trying to underscore is what the people in Elkhart already understand, that this is not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill recession.” Actually, the people in Elkhart understand that in recessions the mills don’t actually run, that’s kind of the problem.

BUT IT WOULD BE UNACCEPTABLE FOR IRAN TO BE BITTEN BY A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER: Iran should “recognize that, even as it has some rights as a member of the international community, with those rights come responsibilities.”

Puppies! No one is asking about the White House puppy! What sort of reporters are these people, anyway?

Says putting three Republicans in his cabinet “unprecedented.” Actually, I’m pretty sure Bush did that too.

Comes out firmly in favor of weatherization. As a Californian, I have to ask – what is this “weather” of which you speak?

Evidently we have the most inefficient health care system ever in the world. They’re still using paper, for chrissake! Paper!

He regales the press with a story of how he once visited a school in South Carolina built in the 1850s. They all gasp: South Carolina has schools?

Puppy! We were promised a puppy!

He didn’t come into office “ginned up to spend $800 billion.” Oddly reminiscent of Bush saying he hadn’t planned on being a war president. Only with Bush it was tequila and cocaine rather than gin (or beer with Sean Hannity).

HA, HE SAID BANG: With TARP, “we didn’t get as big a bang for the buck as we should have.”

He doesn’t have a crystal ball. George Bush always said he didn’t have a magic wand. Someone give these guys a gift certificate to a magic store.

Puppy puppy puppy!

Will you lift the ban on showing coffins returning from Iraq? O: Well, that’s a very timely question, that I have no intention of answering...

I think he just said that the Afghan elections will be meaningless.

A Fox reporter asks about something or other Biden said last week – so what the hell was he talking about? Obama: Fuck if I know – you think I actually listen when Biden is talking?

Now they’re asking about some baseball player’s use of steroids, but nothing about the puppy? COME ON!

Helen Thomas (and if there’s anyone you’d think would ask about our puppy): Do you know of any country in the Middle East that has nuclear weapons? Obama: “I don’t want to speculate.” But we don’t want an arms race in the Middle East. Although evidently not as much as he doesn’t want to piss off Israel by acknowledging that they are a nuclear power. When Helen tried to follow up on the nuclear question, he talked over her and called on another reporter. Wimp.

Evidently the people of Elkhart, Indiana can’t afford partisanship. Not even off-brand partisanship at Wal-Mart.

WORK A BIT MORE ON THAT JESSE JACKSON RHYMING THING: “I’m not sure they have a lot of credibility when it comes to fiscal responsibility.”

YEAH, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT: “I think that, over time, people respond to civility and rational argument. I think that’s what the people of Elkhart and the people around America are looking for.”

You know what else the people of Elkhart and the people around America respond to? Puppies!

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