Mittens surrenders to McCain, not terror

Twitt Romney, as you will have heard, has dropped out. He announced this in a speech, not to his campaign workers, but to the Conservative Political Action Conference.


He is worried that the worst, the very worst, will happen: “I am convinced that unless America changes course, we will become the France of the 21st century. ... And to me, that is impensable unthinkable.”

He derided the “culture of poverty,” which he blamed on “1960s welfare programs.” The Liberals, he says, are still trying to undermine “individual responsibility”: “They fight to strip work requirements from welfare, to put more people on Medicaid, and to remove more and more people from having to pay any income tax whatsoever.” How will the poor ever learn individual responsibility if they don’t pay income tax?


“And tolerance for pornography – even celebration of it – and sexual promiscuity, combined with the twisted incentives of government welfare programs have led to today’s grim realities: 68% of African American children are born out-of-wedlock, 45% of Hispanic children, and 25% of White children.” What I believe he’s saying is that African-American men love their porn. Or something. Certainly his insistence on disaggregating those numbers by race shows that his problem isn’t with “culture” but with the duskier races. Who are destroying America: “A nation built on the principles of the founding fathers cannot long stand when its children are raised without fathers in the home.” Founding fathers, African-American children born out of wedlock... nah, too easy.

The big threat, though, is “violent, radical Jihad.” “These Jihadists will battle any form of democracy – to them, democracy is blasphemous for it says that citizens, not God shape the law.” Or wait, maybe it’s Mike Huckabee who thinks that democracy is blasphemous for saying that citizens, not God shape the law. I always get those two confused.


And just as his sons were serving their country by working for his campaign, Mittens is now giving up his campaign, not because he had his Mormon ass handed to him, but in order to serve his country: “in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror.”

Awesome, dude

This morning, Bush attended the National Prayer Breakfast. This, I guess, is what Bush looks like when he prays.


Also in attendance: Larry Craig. Also Holy Joe Lieberman, and John McCain, who had time for this but not to vote on the economic stimulus package. What is McCain praying for?


I CAN THINK OF ANOTHER PRESIDENTIAL WORD: “Ward, thanks for your remarks. Those were awesome. I guess that’s a presidential word.”

“The people in this room come from many different walks of faith. Yet we share one clear conviction: We believe that the Almighty hears our prayers -- and answers those who seek Him. That’s what we believe; otherwise, why come?” For the pancakes. The pancakes are awesome.

Later in the morning, Bush held an event to complain that the Senate wasn’t confirming his nominees fast enough.

IN OTHER WORD. NOT IN OTHER WORDS, MIND YOU. IN OTHER WORD. “In other word, this isn’t the first time he’s gone through a confirmation process.”

“Yet the Senate has not acted on their nominations. This delay is irresponsible. It undermines the cause of justice.” And that violates the separation of powers. See, it’s the job of the executive branch to undermine the cause of justice.

It makes a lot of sense to make sure that we can grow our own food

Name of the day: State Department spokesman Karl Duckworth.

The US is down to its last World War I veteran, one Frank Buckles, 107. Germany’s last survivor died last month.

Mike Huckabee penned a typically subtle editorial for the Jerusalem Post. He writes that on one of his trips to Israel to convert the heathen or pray for the End of Days or whatever it is that keeps him going back so many times (possibly it’s the falafel) (they don’t really have falafel in Arkansas), he took his 11-year-old daughter to Yad Vashem, where they “faced the grimly surreal pictures from Dachau and Auschwitz” (Huckabee doesn’t know what the word “surreal” actually means). Little Sarah wrote in the guest book, “Why didn’t somebody do something?” “[W]ith those words,” The Huck says, “I knew that, in her own way, she ‘got it.’ Unfortunately, some in America, even some running for president, don’t get it. Those who don’t understand that the war in Iraq is a critical part of the war on terror, don’t get it.” And they secretly love the Nazis. Especially Obama.

Yesterday, Bush showed his continuing relevancy by meeting a NASCAR prize winner. Today, he met a hockey team, the Anaheim Ducks, who won the Stanley Cup. “These Ducks are awfully mighty,” he said.


He also attended the swearing-in of the new Agriculture Secretary, Ed WhoCaresWhatHisNameIsHe’llBeGonePrettySoon. Ed, Bush says, “understands what I know -- it makes a lot of sense to make sure that we can grow our own food. It’s in our national security interest that we’re self-sufficient in food.” And how do we do that? By exporting it. “The best way to keep the ag economy growing is to open up new markets for America’s crops and farm products around the world.” Also, by having them grow things that aren’t food: “I’d much rather our farmers be growing energy than trying to buy from other parts of the world.”

See, and you thought Bush didn’t have a rational agricultural policy.


He warned against farm legislation currently before Congress. “It seems like to us it lacks reform”. You may think that sentences like that show a certain carelessness, but quite the contrary: every word is painstakingly evaluated, then carefully written down, each one on a separate piece of paper. The pieces of paper are then randomly drawn out of a hat to produce the Bush syntax we all enjoy so much.

Number 4 in the series “Everything You Need to Know About the Economy You Can Tell By the Expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s Face”

Testifying before the Senate Budget Committee today about Bush’s proposed budget (it’s on a laptop computer, you know).

We are the Republican Party front-runner

McCain, last night: “Tonight, I think we must get used to the idea that we are the Republican Party front-runner.” One of the perks of front-runner status: the right to use the Royal We (Pluralis Majestatis).


Condi Rice responds to a question about the Afghan journalist, Pervez Kambakhsh, sentenced to death for blasphemy. The outrage is palpable:

Well, I’ll certainly raise the case with President Karzai. This is a young democracy and I think it won’t surprise you that we are not supportive of everything that comes up through the judicial system in Afghanistan. I do think that the Afghans understand that there are some international norms that need to be respected. Of course, one has national laws and they’re national laws that are in accordance with traditions and religious practice and all -- you know, all elements of indigenous development. But there are international norms, and I’ll certainly talk to President Karzai about this -- about this case.

Lazy-ass blogger calls another caption contest

Bush Tuesday with a NASCAR prize-winner and his tall wife. I assume the thing he’s holding is the prize. Or a bong.

Election results

In California, the ballots are still only half counted, but this blog is calling the Green Party and Peace & Freedom Party presidential primaries for Ralph Nader. Terrific.

It won’t air until later today (and then should be available online for about a week), but BBC’s Radio 4 will have a program on the US primaries by comedians Andy Zaltzman and Rory Bremner, which I’d guess will be pretty good.

Apostate!

A McCain ad asks the fundamental question of our times: “If we can’t trust Mitt Romney on Ronald Reagan, how can we trust him to lead America?”

Fund the homeland security

A survey of British youths shows that the majority believe that Sherlock Holmes, Robin Hood and King Arthur were real people, but more than 20% think Winston Churchill is a fictional character.

50 years from now, Americans will think that George W. Bush was a cartoon character, like Elmer Fudd.

The US admits killing 9 civilians, including a child, “as coalition forces pursued al-Qaeda.” And by “pursued,” they mean “dropped bombs from airplanes on anything that moved.”

Bush issued his $3.1 trillion budget today. “It’s on a laptop computer,” he said proudly.


Although evidently some copies were printed as well.


“And it’s a good budget,” he said. Who’s a good budget? You are! Yes you are! “It’s a budget that achieves some important objectives.” For $3.1 trillion, it better achieve every important objective, every not-so-important objective, and every trivial objective. “One, it understands our top priority is to defend our country...” It... understands? See, that’s what happens when you put a $3.1 trillion budget on a laptop computer: it achieves sentience. And that never ends well. “...so we fund our military, as well as fund the homeland security.”

“It’s central that we make sure that we deal with the uncertainties -- the economic uncertainties we face.” An interesting slip there. How often does Bush admit that he faces uncertainties? And what might those uncertainties be?

• How to pronounce nuclear.
• What exactly is a laptop computer anyway?
• Is that my ass or my elbow?
• Could someone ‘splain to me which one is Iraq and which one is Iran again?

Oh, I could do those all day. Or you guys could...

With success like this...

Headline of the day (LA Times): “Schools Scramble to Find Questionable Meat.” I didn’t even know there was a shortage of questionable meat.

Secretary of War Robert Gates says that Friday’s suicide bombings in Baghdad markets are a sign of desperation, “a manifestation of the success of our military operations.” Woo hoo! And on Thursday, Gates said that the increasing number of casualties in Afghanistan caused by suicide bombings and IEDs is a sign that the Taliban have “failed in conventional military conflict with the NATO allies.” Double woo hoo! USA! USA!

A rather extraordinary sentence from John McCain, which I evidently missed two weeks ago: “It’s not social issues I care about.” He was talking about abortion and gays, the only social issues Republicans care about, but boy he really is running to be a president who will just occupy himself doing the war thing and not bother with any of the other piddling small stuff.

By the way, when I googled “It’s not social issues I care about,” looking for more context, Google asked, “Did you mean: ‘Its not social issues I care about’”. Et tu, Google? Et tu? Here’s that context: “It’s not social issues I care about. It’s the Constitution of the United States I care about.” That piece from the WaPo’s campaign blog also quotes him saying, “The rights of the unborn are as important as the rights of the born.” Absolutely, the right of the fetus to free exercise of religion, to bear arms, and not have soldiers quartered in the womb he or she inhabits, should be sacrosanct.

We got issues

A NY appellate court has ruled that the state must recognize gay marriages contracted outside of NY (in this case in Canada) since NY law does not specifically say otherwise. The ruling is not especially broad, since it does not challenge the ability of the state legislature to pass such a law, so it’s not much of a challenge to the “sanctity of marriage,” but I suspect that cries of “judicial activism” and the issue of the threatened gayification of marriage and subsequent end of civilization as we know it have just reentered the election campaign. Yippee.

Bush makes the ultimate case for free trade

At the Kansas City headquarters of Hallmark Cards, Inc.: “if we end up having trade wars, it’s going to be less likely Hallmark products will be sold overseas.”

Religious people do not murder the innocent, redux

Something I intended to write two posts back, but it went right out of my head: Bush said that the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq aren’t religious conflicts because religious people don’t murder the innocent. Of course Pervez Kambakhsh, that journalist whose death sentence was just backed by the Afghan Senate, which, er, is supposed to be on our side in the “ideological struggle between those of us who love freedom and human rights and human dignity, and those who want to impose their dark vision on how people should live their lives,” isn’t innocent: he’s guilty of blasphemy. So that’s okay then.

Democratic Debate: Hillary would be on anyone’s shortlist

Transcript.

Sitting next to each other, Barack and Hillary look like the anchors of the local 11:00 news.

Audience members included Meathead, Josh Lyman, Annie Hall, Ugly Betty, Stevie Wonder, Pierce Brosnan, Leonardo diCaprio....

Obama says he was friends with Hillary before the campaign, and will be after the campaign. But now, I believe that implies, he’s gonna eviscerate her.


Hillary: “Just by looking at us, you can tell we are not more of the same.” And then we open our mouths... (Later: actually, this was the dullest debate yet, and seriously deficient as blog fodder. Some of that in a good way, as when they were genuinely discussing differences in their health insurance plans, but mostly they know that neither of them is changing many minds before Tuesday, and are looking beyond it to the general election.)


Obama says he brings up Hillary’s flip–flopping on illegal immigrants getting driver’s licenses only to show how difficult the issue is.

Hillary on her Iraq war vote: “coercive diplomacy” is cool, she likes “coercive diplomacy,” uses it on Bill all the time, but “what no one could have fully appreciated...” Who is she, all of a sudden, Condi? “...is how obsessed this president was with this particular mission”. Blitzer asks if she’s saying that she was naive in trusting Bush and the crowd, possibly led by Diane Keaton, boos loudly.


Speaking of presidents on a mission, Hillary, when asked how she’d “control” Bill when they were back in the White House when she sure can’t do it on the campaign trail, gave out one of those guffaws, possibly at the thought of Bill, naked, tied up, with a hood over his head, thinking he’s in for some kinky sex, but actually on his way to Guantanamo. Or maybe to that “Lost” island. Then says she doesn’t want the campaign to be about Bill but the issues.


Barack, would you make Hillary your running mate? Astonishingly, he refuses to answer the inane question. He does say that Hillary would be “on anyone’s short list”. Isn’t that cute, it’s nine months before the election and he’s already drawing up death lists.

Thank goodness they didn’t abandon a value system that they believe is universal

McCain’s website not only trumpets his endorsement by The Arnold, but also endorsements by several of what McCain calls “distinguished members of the Vietnamese-American community” (a member of the California State Assembly, members of the Garden Grove and Westminster city councils, and a no doubt distinguished member of the Midway City Sanitary District). At least, he calls them “distinguished members of the Vietnamese-American community” in public – now. In 2000, he commented, “I hated the gooks. I will hate them as long as I live.”

Bush gave a speech today at something called the Nevada Policy Research Institute.


He told them that “The world in which we live is a dangerous world, but a world full of great opportunity.” Dangerous opportunity.

We’re facing, he said, an “ideological struggle of people who use asymmetrical warfare.” It’s not a religious conflict, he insisted. “And I’ll tell you why: because one of the tactics, and the main tactic of those enemies of freedom, is to murder the innocent to achieve their objectives. Religious people do not murder the innocent.” Religious people do not murder the innocent. I’m telling you, the principle on which this country is run is government of the people who slept through history class, by the people who slept through history class, and for the people who slept through history class.

IN OTHER WORDS: “The fundamental question is whether or not democracy can take hold. In other words, the security situation is improving, and therefore will there be efforts by the Iraqi people to seize the moment?”

SITTING DOWN WITH ELECTED: “It is vital for this generation to assume the responsibilities of peace and take the lead, so that when we look back 30 to 40 years from now people will say, thank goodness America didn’t lose faith with liberty. Thank goodness they didn’t abandon a value system that they believe is universal. And I believe an American President will be sitting down with elected from the Middle East saying the same thing to audiences in Nevada that I said about Prime Minister Koizumi.”

Wherein I find myself in complete agreement with Sean McCormack

Human Rights Watch has issued a report saying that the US & EU of accepting the pretense of countries such as Pakistan, Kenya, Russia, Thailand to be democracies simply because they have held some form of elections. Responded State Dept spokesmodel Sean McCormack: “In terms of the United States and this administration speaking up in defence of, and advocating for, and putting its effort behind its rhetoric, I don’t think there’s any question about where we stand in terms of promotion of democracy.” No, there really isn’t any question.

A judge in Rio de Janeiro has banned a samba group’s float, with heaps of mannequins representing the Holocaust, from Carnivale.

Republican Debate: You can’t have a president who sees a whole bunch of America as invisible

Transcript.

5:06 McCain: “Let’s have some straight talk...” Oh, let’s.

Speaking of catch-phrases, with Giuliani out of the race we need never hear “The Terrorists’ War on Us” again.

Huckabee thinks Congress has been betraying Reagan’s principles by increasing the deficit. Does Huckles remember the 1980s?

Huckabee: “It’s not gonna get better unless we have some serious leadership in Washington that says that we’re going to have to start having policies that touch the people not just at the top but the people at the bottom.” Well, that’s just kinky.

Defending his record as governor against McCain, Romney says several times that “facts are stubborn things.” Given that they’re in the Reagan (snicker) Library – and that’s actually it’s official name, the Reagan (snicker) Library – shouldn’t he repeat the Great Communicator’s phrase “facts are stupid things”?


Huckabee, wistfully, wishes that Rush Limbaugh loved him as much as he loves Rush.

Romney: they don’t call it America warming, they call it global warming.

Huckles thinks people will spend the stimulus plan’s tax rebates on “shoes that they probably don’t even need” (in Arkansas, shoes are considered a luxury item), and that shoe will probably come from China.

McCain: “When a town on Norway is somehow affected by the housing situation in the United States of America, we’ve gotten ourselves into a very interesting dilemma.” Says a mortgage should be one page long and in big letters at the bottom say “I understand this document.”


McCain: “I’m tired of borrowing money from China.” As Samuel Johnson said, when you’re tired of borrowing money from China, you’re tired of life.

McCain repeatedly refuses to answer whether he would still vote for his own 2006 immigration plan, saying it wouldn’t come up for a vote now.

Romney: “It’s important that we, as Republicans, stay in the house that Reagan built.” Absolutely: someone nail the doors shut.

By the way, the major advertiser on CNN for this debate: the coal industry.


There was much back and forth over whether Romney last April was advocating a timetable for withdrawal of troops from Iraq when he said, “Well, there’s no question that the president and Prime Minister al-Maliki have to have a series of timetables and milestones that they speak about, but those shouldn’t be for public pronouncement. You don’t want the enemy to understand how long they have to wait in the weeds until you’re going to be gone.” McCain has been attacking this, not for the idea of a secret timetable being monumentally silly, but for suggesting that there might actually be a time when we leave Iraq. McC: “If we weren’t leaving, how could the enemy lay in the weeds?” He also repeats, over and over and over, that timetables was a “buzzword” for withdrawal. Romney says the Washington Post “gave you three Pinocchios” for making that claim.


The Huck hopes we won’t be in Iraq for 100 years like McCain says we should be, but “we need to leave with victory, and we need to leave with honor.”

Huckles says if we leave prematurely, “It will erupt in a completely destabilized environment into which that vacuum is exactly the kind of situation that al Qaeda can build a strong base.” Put “in other words” at the start of that sentence, and it’s an almost classic Bushism.

McCain is still touting the judgement that led him to say that Rumsfeld was incompetent. Way to set a high standard.

Romney says that people prefer governors as presidents rather than senators because “They’re actually leading something.”

Mittens says one of his two great regrets in life (he doesn’t say what the other one is) is that he didn’t serve in the military, which he’d “love” to have done. I’m sure everyone who did go to Vietnam just “loved” it.

Curiously enough, it’s one of McCain’s two great regrets in life that he wasn’t a Mormon missionary in the south of France. I see a wacky Disney switcheroo movie in the offing.


COMPETITION: What might the other great regret in Romney’s life be? Polygamy jokes will be disallowed as too easy. Let me start you off: He always wished he could be a real boy.

Romney says that Lincoln wasn’t a military expert either, and he turned out all right. Twitt: Lincoln was a captain in the Illinois militia.

Huckleberry: “You can’t have a president who sees a whole bunch of America as invisible.”

Would Reagan endorse you? Mittens: yes. McCain: yes. Paul: probably, because he was in favor of the gold standard too. Huckabee: Well, I would endorse Reagan. “Reagan was something more than just a policy wonk.” Yes, yes he was.

There are signs that our economy are slowing

Video of the day, from the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing you’ve probably already heard about but perhaps haven’t seen (TPM, from which I’ve taken the video, has the transcript), of Biden gently getting Attorney General Mukasey to clarify that he really does mean that his “conscience” isn’t “shocked” by water-boarding or by extension any other form of torture, unless the method is disproportionate to the information being sought: “the heinousness of doing it, the cruelty of doing it, balanced against the value.” Biden being Biden, he made his point perfectly but then didn’t just stop talking.



I think we all need to take a deep breath and look at Margaret, who is 10 days old.



Today, Bush came all the way to California to tell us, “You know, California is a really important state for our country”. It’s nice to be appreciated.

He took along our esteemed governator to a helicopter factory: “The company was started in the kitchen, and now he’s got the Terminator coming by to herald the success.”


Mostly he talked about the importance of ratifying the free-trade agreements: “And when you’re more likely to sell a helicopter to Panama, it means you’re more likely to keep work, that’s what that means.” And he pretended that the only reason “some” people oppose the treaty with Colombia is that they don’t believe in the principle of free trade – “Some say trade hurts our economy” – as opposed to, for instance, the rather large number of unsolved murders of trade unionists.

IN OTHER WORDS: “Well, we’ve negotiated free trade agreements. In other words, we sat down with countries and said, let’s get a free trade agreement in place.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Fourth quarter growth slowed to .6 percent. In other words, there are signs that our economy are slowing.”

Heart and soul

McCain says of big ol’ loser Giuliani, that he “invested his heart and soul in this primary, and conducted himself with all the qualities of the exceptional American leader he truly is.” Well no wonder Rudy lost, if his investment was that small.

I don’t care how cheap a shot that was, it was satisfying.

No, I wanted the big flags

After his event at a “faith-based” project (see previous post), Bush had a meeting and a dinner with the Joint Chiefs of Staff and combatant commanders. He may have confused the two: “And our military is compassionate, as well. I’m looking forward to the stories from our commanders who will share with us the great compassion of our soldiers, whether it’s to provide relief from a disaster, or to help some child recognize the beauty of going to school.”

The London Times points us to a profanity-laden press release issued by the Romney campaign earlier this month. The profanities (all purportedly uttered by John McCain) include, and I quote, “F*ck you!”, “chickens---”, “a**hole,” “f*cking jerk,” and “Clinton.” Shocking!

Here’s a picture from a Potty-Mouth McCain “town hall meeting” in Florida Sunday that I haven’t found an excuse to use:


You know what they say: the bigger the flag...

There was the notion that somehow that there needed to be a clear separation of church and state

Today Bush visited something called the Jericho Program, an Episcopalian program that works with ex-prisoners, or, as Bush kept calling them, souls: “There’s no more important goal than to help good souls become -- come back to our society as productive citizens.”


He was there to talk about the importance of the government funding such religious groups (I’m not clear if the Jericho Programs gets such funding) and the importance in general of religion, the practice of which, as we know, had been banned by the Clinton Administration: “When I came into office, the nation’s traditions of religious freedom and equal opportunity were facing unnecessary obstacles. ... There was the notion that somehow that there needed to be a clear separation of church and state”.


IN OTHER UNHOLY WORDS: “Unfortunately, in some instances where there was an interface with government, people were told that in order to interface you have to take the cross off the wall, or take down the Star of David. In other words, you had to abandon the very principle by which you existed in the first place.”

EFFECTIVENESS: “If a program was effective because they were willing to recognize a higher power, if a program was effective because people responded because they felt a call from a higher power, than to deny the higher power really reduced the effectiveness of the program.”


LORD LOVE A DUCK: “That’s, after all, one of the key tenets of faith: Love a neighbor like you’d be -- like to love -- be loved yourself.”

“As you might remember, I drank too much at one time in my life.” And if you do remember, or have some of those missing police records, you might tell him about it, because his twenties and thirties are kind of a blur.

(Update: the WaPo reports that when one of the men told Bush that more mentoring and counseling programs were needed in west Baltimore, Bush, who probably isn’t a big viewer of The Wire, told him, “There are programs like that all over the city; they are called churches,” then started in piously about “the notion that there is a higher power that will help people change their thinking.” The man agreed that there is a higher power. The WaPo writes, “‘Step One, right?’ Bush said, alluding to Alcoholics Anonymous’s second step.”)

State of the Union Address: Spreading the hope of freedom (in 357 days)

Transcript.

6:08 Bush just waggled his eyebrows


and winked


at Congress. Which I’m sure makes them feel special and tingly all over.

I didn’t catch which members of the Cabinet and Congress are staying away to carry on the work of government should there be a terrorist attack or Cheney get hold of an Uzi. (Update: it was Dirk Kempthorne. Had anything of that nature happened, it would have been President Dirk Kempthorne.) (Let me repeat that: President Dirk Kempthorne.) Also, I believe Atrios is sitting this one out in case every blogger’s head explodes.

Both Bush twins, however, are there for the first time. Should there be a terrorist attack or Cheney get hold of an Uzi, the genetic line would be extinguished.

6:12 Bush says the economy is going through uncertainty, and Cheney’s head suddenly jerks.

6:12 Boehner: this is an intervention: you are spending too much time in the tanning salon.

6:13 He says that some people wouldn’t object to paying higher taxes, and “The IRS accepts checks and money orders.” Also, the blood of the innocent and the howls of the damned.


6:15 “American families have to balance their budgets, so should their government.” Wait, I’m supposed to be balancing my budget? Uh oh.

6:22 He wants to “liberate children trapped in failing schools”. PS 23 and Martin Luther King Jr High School: the new axis of evil.

6:24 If we don’t pass the free trade agreement with Colombia, we will “embolden the purveyors of false populism in our hemisphere.” Meaning Hugo Chavez, of course, although ABC’s cameras went amusingly to John Kerry.

6:27 Greenhouse agreements will only work if every country on the planet signs and none gets a “free ride.” Especially on public transportation, which he mysteriously left out of his half-hearted laundry list of measures to reduce global warming.


6:34 “We’ve seen wedding guests in blood-soaked finery staggering from a hotel in Jordan”. Of course, the US has soaked more than our share of finery, bombing or shooting up weddings on several occasions in both Afghanistan and Iraq.
(Update: Eli at LeftI is all over this one too.)

6:37 We are “spreading the hope of freedom.” Afghanistan is now “a young democracy where boys and girls are going to school.” Um, right.

6:44 Al Qaida is on the run in Iraq. Just like last year and the year before that and the year before that. A lot of running, is what I’m saying.

It’s hard to find anything to say about this, it’s all very stale. “Return on success,” other bits of leftover rhetoric.

6:46 He asks Congress to fully fund the troops. ABC zooms right in on some guy who’s yawning, sitting next to a woman in uniform.

6:49 A failed Iraq would embolden the extremists. That’s the second use of “embolden.”

6:52 Iran (which he’s been accusing in rather vague terms of being behind everything we don’t like throughout the Middle East) should “come clean about your [he refers to it in the second person] nuclear intentions and past actions”.


6:56 “America opposes genocide in Sudan.” In case anyone was, you know, asking.

6:57 The US is leading the fight against “global hunger.” Which I think is when you really want a globe for dinner, with maybe a Triptik for dessert.

He never actually said what the state of the union is, although he did say if we did blah blah blah the state of the union will remain strong.

Well that was an hour well spent.

The State of the Union is...

Three hours before kick off, we are now taking bets on what Bush will declare the State of the Union to be:

more at twiigs.com...

A bit of an overreach

Huckabee went from talk show to talk show this morning, trying to explain that what he really meant when he said in the last debate that Iraq might still have had WMDs was that Iraq might still have had WMDs. He admitted “I don’t have any evidence,” but the guy who doesn’t believe in evolution hardly requires any evidence to suggest that they might be in Syria or “some remote area of Jordan.” “But simply saying — we didn’t find them so therefore they didn’t exist — is a bit of an overreach.” He added that “My point was, Saddam Hussein bragged that he had them. We know that he in the past had used them. So there have been weapons of mass destruction. ... They didn’t exist when we got into Iraq, but that didn’t mean they never were there.” Oh, don’t you try to get out of this with your clever verb tenses, mister.


He added that Bush “didn’t lie to us. ... I support that the president did what he believed was necessary. ... But to second guess the president now, I think, is really not a very prudent thing to do. It doesn’t make us feel any better.” Define “us,” Mike. He likened such second-guessing to Monday-morning-quarterbacking, saying “But when you’re out there on the game, and guys that are weighing 320 pounds are rushing at you, you know, you have to make split-second decisions. And sometimes they’re not always perfect.” Of course there may not have been any 320-pound guys, or they may have been in Syria or some remote area of Jordan...

By the way, this week he’s said that he’s afraid of 320-pound football players and of Chuck Norris kicking him in the head. Also cheese, he has an unnatural fear of cheese. My point is: for him, fear is as an acceptable excuse for bad decision-making, which just doesn’t bode all that well for his own decision-making process (plus, of course, the decision to invade Iraq was not made in a split-second).

He concluded, “I think what we’ve got to do is to say, let’s make the best of what we have in Iraq.” Yeah, let’s do that.

Elsewhere, Romney said that McCain is “trying desperately to change the topic from the economy and trying to get back to Iraq.” Indeed, McCain told Tim Russert,

I believe that most Republicans’ first priority is the threat of radical Islamic extremism. Now, I know the concerns about the economy...

MR. RUSSERT: More than the economy?

SEN. McCAIN: More than the economy at the end of the day.

And he told a campaign rally, “There’s going to be other wars.” Oh good, something to look forward to, then.


McCain’s campaign promises: pizza and the draft.

Yes, we can

I’m perfectly content with Obama’s wanting to run as a “candidate who happens to be black” rather than as a “black candidate,” but... the crowds at his victory rally were evidently chanting “Race doesn’t matter!” Er, guys, hello? It kinda does. Still. Sorry.

They were also chanting “Yes, we can!” a rather perfectly emblematic motto for Obama because it is a message of optimism and hope that we can do, er, something that it never quite gets around to specifying.


The Clinton people, who do think that race matters, if only because so few African-Americans in SC voted for her, are quietly briefing reporters that Obama only won because there was such a high turnout among black voters, as if that were some sort of dirty trick.

Actually, I think I do understand the stock market better now

I seem to have no interesting words of my own tonight. I know! Let’s steal other people’s.

Armando Iannucci explains the stock market’s doings:

Last week, they instantly panicked because they thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, which, in turn, made things 10 times worse and so caused them all to panic again.

Some of them are now panicking that how they may panic in the future will affect share values even more and that the only way to prevent this is by panicking so much now that it pre-empts future panic.

So tomorrow, if you see anyone soiling themselves on the Stock Exchange trading floor, it’s actually quite strategic and they’re probably being asked to do it by a man on the other end of a phone in Japan.

WaPo Style Invitational contest for slogans for countries. A rather mixed bag, but here are the good ones:

Burkina Faso: Not Your Father’s Upper Volta

Canada: Home of the Almighty Dollar

Denmark: Oh, So Nothing’s Rotten in YOUR Country?

Germany: It Is Not Necessary to Have a Humorous Slogan

Germany: Genocide Free Since 1945!

Greenland: Site of the 2060 Summer Olympics

India: For More Information Press 1

Iran: World’s Largest Non-American Theocracy

Myanmar: We Liked “Burma” Better Too, but These Guys Have Guns

Qatar: Wish U Were Here

United States: War Is Peace

People would say, uh-oh, I’m losing value

Bush interview with USA Today, um, today.

Says the State of the Union Address “will make it clear I’m going to sprint to the finish.” In fact, he’ll deliver the speech while sprinting around the House Chamber. He hasn’t decided yet if he’ll be using the Rocky theme music or the Chariots of Fire theme music.

“We’re a generous nation when it comes to hunger.”

YES, I’VE OFTEN SAID THAT MYSELF: “And therefore one of the concerns has been there has been a wealth effect - people would say, uh-oh, I’m losing value, and therefore I’m not going to be an active consumer.”

A PIECE OF UNCERTAINTY: “One of the uncertain - a piece of uncertainty is whether or not someone’s taxes are going to go up.”

WHIPPING UP THE POPULOUS: “And I fully understand that you can whip up populous sentiment against trade”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, we’re more accepting of people’s products in our country and, yet, when we try to sell ours into theirs, they face a higher barrier to entry.”

YAY! OPPORTUNITIES! “You really look at the world - you’ve got Iraq, Iran, Middle Eastern peace opportunities, North Korea, Sudan, Burma. This is a world that is full of opportunities to spread freedom and hope and opportunity.”

THAT BRUSH WON’T CLEAR ITSELF: “And when it’s all said and done, I will have finished it with all my soul and all my might, and will go do something different.”

Republican debate: Just because you didn’t find every Easter egg didn’t mean that it wasn’t planted

Florida debate. No transcript that I can find.

McCain denies having said that he still needs (at age 72) to be educated on economics. Which he did say. Claims he is “well-versed on economics”.


Ron Paul says that we are literally spending ourselves into oblivion. Brian Williams a couple of minutes later says that American banks are turning to foreign investors literally to stay afloat. If I hear the word literally misused one more time my head will figuratively explode.

Sorry. Pet peeve.

McCain brings up the “bridge to nowhere” over and over.


The Huck says that just because we didn’t find WMDs in Iraq “doesn’t mean they weren’t there. Just because you didn’t find every Easter egg didn’t mean that it wasn’t planted.” Although sooner or later those Easter eggs, like Bush’s justifications for the war, do start to rot.


The Huckster is allowed to get away with claiming that his proposed “fair tax” is 23% rather than 30%. He also says that more money you earn, the more the IRS and the government want from you. No one came forth to defend the principle of progressivity, of those able to pay more paying more.

Romney (in a blue suit with a blue tie against a blue background which over the course of the evening he seemed to melt into) (why does the suit look so much darker in all these pictures?) says that all the great progress in Iraq did not come from “General Hillary Clinton.” Which sounds like barely disguised sexism, but not in a way you could quite pin down, so he’ll get away with it.


McCain says the D’s would “raise the white flag” in Iraq, says it was totally worth every single dead American soldier.

The Huck, in a question to Romney about gun control, refers to “so-called assault weapons.” Romney promises never to support gun control legislation again.

Mittens flat out refuses to say how much of his fortune he’s putting into the race.


Just like Obama said in the last D debate that no one in all of America would refuse to vote for him because of his race, Mittens says no one in all of America would refuse to vote for him because of his religion. The Constitution says there shall be no religious tests, so it’s against the law for any voter to consider his Mormonism. Or something.

Romney says “the idea of Bill Clinton back in the White House with nothing to do is something I can’t imagine.” Which sounds like a barely disguised crack about Bill’s likin’ for the ladies, but not in a way you could quite pin down, so he’ll get away with it.

Mittens: Hillary takes her inspiration from the Europe of old (or possibly the Europe of Olde), Big Brother, Big Government...

Huckleberry says that he didn’t object when Chuck Norris said that McCain is too old to be president because Chuck can kick him in the head.

McCain says he’ll send Sylvester Stallone (who evidently just endorsed him, and has a new Rambo movie coming out) to beat up Chuck Norris. And by gum he’ll send Norman Schwarzkopf too.


McCain, in response to a question about his temper, which I think came from an email and not from the fact that McCain just threatened to send a 61-year old and a 73-year old to beat up a 67-year old, says temper what temper and claims to have lots of friends and adds that he admires the way Giuliani “led this country” after 9/11.

He’ll be gotten by a president

Bush tells Fox that it would be nice to capture Osama bin Laden “If we could find the cave he is in,” because “For the country, it’s a matter of closure in many ways for those who suffered under the attacks”. He says this closure will happen, you know, some day: “He’ll be gotten by a president.” Evidently Bush no longer thinks that he will getten have gottened begotten gottendamerung capturate bin Laden himself.

However, he says of bin Laden, “He’s isolated. He’s not out there leading any parades.” Yeah, George, imagine how that must feel.

Leading economic indicator

This morning, Bush announced an agreement on an economic stimulus package, which I believe entailed taking the Democrats’ lunch money and distributing it to the rich. This brings us to episode 3 of Everything You Need to Know About the Economy You Can Tell By the Expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s Face.