Apart from the lack of underpants, it was a conventional operation

2 Hughes Aircraft divisions, neither still owned by Hughes, plead guilty to giving China data rocket & satellite data, and pay a fine. No actual human is held responsible in any way, certainly are not facing trials for treason and possible execution, although the Rosenbergs were certainly electrocuted for less. If only they’d known enough to work for a multinational corporation.

Good piece on the Bush press conference. I’d have to ask what the hell are the “Al Qaeda-type organizations” Iraq is supposed to be funding. (I’d have to ask because none of the reporters did, although the format and Bush’s filibustering/rambling responses prevented there being all that many questions asked to begin with. Joe Conason in Salon points out that no such accusation was made in, say, the last State Dept report on international terrorism.) Bush refused a couple of times to say whether the war would be a failure if it didn’t end in the capture or “accidental” death of Saddam Hussein--like with your father, the reporters were too polite to add. One minor innovation in rhetoric is the new Bush line that if Iraq were disarming, it would be obvious. How that would be obvious, I don’t know, although he did say that inspectors “could have showed up [sic] at a parking lot and he could have brought his weapons and destroyed them.” Yes, that’s how you destroy biological warfare agents. In a parking lot. Hitting them with hammers, maybe. Moron.

Bush’s answers to questions on N Korea don’t seem to have gotten much attention--indeed, those parts of the press conf don’t even appear in the transcript in the print edition of the NY Times. Oddly, he said that North Korean nukes are a “regional issue.” I’m not even sure what that means, but even if it were true, and even if N Korea didn’t have missiles that could reach, well, me here on the West Coast, don’t we have defense pacts with some of those countries in the region? Also, he described the region as including China, Japan and Russia, which is less a region than it is half the world.

He also has what may be a new line on opposition to his policies: asked why “so many people around the world take a different view of the threat that Saddam Hussein poses than you and your allies” he said “I recognize there are people who don’t like war.” And then says that he doesn’t like war either, which was surprisingly not followed by the reporters bursting into laughter. What he’s doing with this line is pretending that real intellectual disagreement is just based on knee-jerk pacifism, and can therefore be dismissed.

Yesterday’s press conference was followed by today’s conference by the arms inspectors. Most interesting was the complete refutation of there being any Iraqi nuclear program, of there being any connection between aluminum tubes, magnets, etc to such a program, and of the claim that Iraq tried to buy uranium from Niger. The latter is the most interesting: the evidence cited by British intelligence is forged. Badly.

Not much attention is being given to the sudden appearance of holes in the fence between Kuwait and Iraq, and the foray by US Marines into the neutral zone, which will not only piss off the Romulans, I mean Iraqis, but makes Kuwait a legitimate target and, by the by, is a violation of the cease-fire accords.

A Texas judge gives a gay divorce. This has proven a bit of a problem, since Vermont will let anyone get a gay marriage, but only residents (1 year+) can get divorces there.

The Pentagon refuses to comment on the cases of two prisoners beaten to death, possibly during interrogations, possibly not, at a US military base in Afghanistan.

The DOD’s budget proposals (so why do I have to read this in a British paper and there’s nothing in the Post or NY Times?) include a single line asking to be allowed to develop mini-nuclear weapons. Which, bad enough in themselves, would need to be tested, breaking yet another international treaty.

Dick Cheney sends a letter (on official Office of the VP stationary, yet) threatening a satire site, whitehouse.org, which has a moderately humorous (don’t bother, really) parody of his wife.

The US is claiming that Iraq is buying up uniforms like those worn by American soldiers (while refusing to offer any proof). So remember, any soldiers in American uniforms committing atrocities are bound to be Iraqis. Really.

Britain’s Education Secretary’s 16-year old son was suspended from his school for swearing at a member of staff who confiscated his football.

Jörg Haider, the gay neo-fascist in Austria, has started a campaign for independence for Carinthia.

We never hear anymore about the passengers of Flight 93, the one on 9/11 that went down in Pennsylvania, and isn’t that interesting? The only instance of civilians (admittedly doomed civilians) fighting back against terrorists, but it’s been allowed to fade into the background. What should be powerful symbolism is never invoked--when was the last time Shrub mentioned them? I assume it’s for the same reason he refuses to ask for any sacrifices: he doesn’t really want the citizenry participating actively, but rather wants them to view security and safety as one more commodity to be purchased and consumed passively.

Follow-up: I mentioned (2/4/03) that the feds asked a district court judge to dismiss a case by a whistle-blower who was wrongly fired by TRW for pointing out that they were faking Star Wars tests, arguing that this would endanger national security. The case has been dismissed.

From the Daily Telegraph:

Worldwide: Police accused of using witchcraft to catch fugitive
By Margaret Wilson in Lusaka

Claims that the Zambian police removed their underpants in order to search more effectively for a fugitive are the latest bizarre revelation in a row about the role of witchcraft in the capture of Zambia's most wanted man.

Katele Kalumba, former foreign minister, vanished three months ago after his arrest was ordered on charges of plundering the nation's resources. Despite the best efforts of a large team of police and reported sightings from as far as Belgium, he was living undetected in a tent on his farm in north-western Zambia.

Police say witchcraft lay at the heart of his elusiveness and they displayed an assortment of "magical objects" found in his tent when they finally caught up with him.

Black arts, and the fear of them, bubble just below the surface of life in Zambia. Police have been accused of resorting to the services of a witchdoctor to find their man.

Mr Kalumba, 50, disappeared when Zambia's national task force investigating corruption demanded he answer questions relating to the disappearance of £12.5 million for military equipment, as well as other sums.

Police say he used two witchdoctors to achieve his invisibility and eavesdropped on them with the aid of a wooden fetish doll. They also said he used the screen of his solar-powered laptop computer. "He confirmed he was able to see what was going on through this traditional computer," said a police spokesman.

As it happened, Mr Kalumba voluntarily showed himself to the team that came searching again after a tip-off from a local man. He emerged from behind a shrub too small to hide a man, said the police, adding that he wore charms around his neck and waist.

Now behind bars in Lusaka awaiting trial, Kalumba has denied the use of witchcraft, saying the objects were planted on him.

Police said the case was plagued with strange troubles. Police vehicles would unpredictably run out of fuel or develop mechanical failure; heavy rain would fall from clear skies at key moments.

Even after his capture, they said, Mr Kalumba was able to make himself invisible when the convoy passed through roadblocks on its return to Lusaka. Mr Kalumba and his wife, Lumba, claimed that police resorted to a witchfinder to track him down.

Accusations that police removed their underpants to make the search more effective would be interpreted in Zambia as a sure sign of witchery; black magic is best practised naked.

But police said that, apart from the lack of underpants and their urination on traditional herbs found at Kalumba's hideaway, it was a conventional operation.

Curse be upon your mustache

A Washington Post headline refers to “provocations” by North Korea. Right, they were bothering a spy-plane which was sent to spy on them. The effrontery!

The Arab summit didn’t go especially well, with the Iraqi delegate calling the Kuwaiti a monkey and shouting “God curse your mustache!” Possibly it loses something in the translation (another translation I’ve seen is “Curse be upon your mustache!”, which is arguably more elegant). Here’s a quote from the London Times: “A Kuwaiti Foreign Minister tried to interrupt, prompting Mr Ibrahim to shout: "Sit down, you minion, you agent. Shut up you monkey." There were gasps as some delegates thought that Mr Ibrahim had not said qird (monkey) but kelb (dog - a far graver insult).”

Speaking of something lost, well, gained actually, in the translation: Not having seen the Dan Rather interview with Saddam Hussein, I missed hearing the CBS translator, who had a thick Arab accent--and turns out to have been an American actor faking the accent.

A BBC reporter talking about US arm-twisting at the UN says the message is You’re either with us...or with the French. Ouch.

Don’t remember where I got that story about the members of the Washington state legislature who walked out during a Muslim opening prayer, but the AP version carried in the NY Times misses the key quote I highlighted, “My god is not Mohammed.” Either they didn’t want to make that legislator look like the fool she is, or their grasp of Islam isn’t any better than hers. [Later] I just looked up the story on news.google, and even the Wash. papers don’t carry the quote. Incidentally, she is now claiming that she really left just to get a drink of water. Her husband is a pastor, by the by.

Here’s a Chicago Sun Times columnist on the sudden rise by Khalid Mohammed from Wanted Terrorist No. 22 to top man in Al Qaida, who really made all the decisions, never mind that Osama guy.
Here’s a paragraph:

News reports quoted U.S. officials as saying that Mohammed was like the "Forrest Gump of al-Qaida." His name and fingerprints seemed to be everywhere. He'd been involved in all of al-Qaida's major attacks. But no one had noticed. The class nerd has a way of fading into the background.

Evidently he’s being upgraded because of evidence from one of those oh-so-reliable AQ prisoners. Actually, this guy’s story is really very tangled indeed, with so many lies attached to it that...well, read this story.

Here’s a good terrorist idea: one of those suicide terrorist types infects himself with something like smallpox and just walks around.

An 85-year old retired nurse in Britain says that doctors and paramedics often experience pressure from relatives to revive people who don’t want to be revived. So she’s had “Do not resuscitate” and a heart with a line through it tattooed on her chest.

The Supreme Court rules that a 50-year sentence under the Cal. 3 Strikes law for shoplifting some videos (Cinderella and, ironically, Free Willy) as gifts for the perp’s children is not cruel and unusual. Gray Davis says “This is good for California,” but doesn’t explain how. I take back anything I may have thought about the SFPD’s Fajita Crisis being silly. The perp’s lawyer notes that if he had committed rape, he’d have gotten 8 years because it would have been his first rape.

Bash a Peugot for peace

Prosecutors in New Hampshire say the Catholic Church was wilfully blind to paedophile priests. Probably have hairy palms, too.

Yesterday Israeli troops accidentally kills a pregnant woman when it destroys the house next to hers. Her husband explains that they hadn’t left their house because soldiers warned everyone to stay inside--or else--over loudspeakers.

The Easter Bunny, packin’ heat.

Evidently the US’s spying on UN delegations is not actually news. The guy who broke the story was scheduled to go on NBC, CNN & Fox News, but all three cancelled. Indeed Bulgaria’s ambassador to the UN says it’s a mark of prestige: "It's almost an offense if they don't listen." In the good old days in Bulgaria, of course, the highest social status was marked by the secret police attaching electrodes to your genitals. People put it on their resumes.

And for more about icky things done to genitals.

Speaking of inflated resumes, think Whatsit Mohammed is really the Al Qaida “mastermind” he’s cracked up to be? I had my doubts even before this.

Two Washington state legislators stage a walk-out when the opening prayer is led by a Muslim. One of them, no doubt a religious studies major, says "My god is not Mohammed."

Speaking of intolerance for our enemies, a Nashville radio station hosts a “Bash a Peugot for Peace” event. Note to organizers: how could you tell the difference.

The leaflets being dropped on Iraq.

A BBC interview with Rummy Rumsfeld today. Questions about his role in dealing with Iraq in the 1980s led to him stalking out of the studio at the end. A bit I liked: “DD: How damaging to the war plans is Turkey's refusal to let their bases be used?

“DR: There are workarounds. We'll be fine. Turkey is a democracy, it's a moderate Muslim country, it's a friend, it's an ally in Nato, and they're going through a democratic process, and we accept that.”

Notice how he makes “going through a democratic process” sound like an adolescent rebellion? Like Turkey just had something pierced just to piss off the US?

It’s also the first time I’m aware of where Rummy has been cross-questioned on his use of the phrase “so-called occupied territories.”

A man who escaped a Texas prison by helicopter in 1962 is re-arrested. The police say “You can run, but you can’t hide.” I would say Robert Coney has proven that wrong.

Something I didn’t know: Israeli subsidies to (Jewish) children are sharply progressive. That is, the amount given for the first and second child is half that for the third, ¼ that for the fourth, 1/5 that for the fifth and up.

The part of Kuwait now occupied by the US military and off-limits to Kuwaitis is now up to 50%.

War, what is it good for?

Hell is (for) other people: A Harris poll says that 82% of Americans believe in heaven, while 2/3 believe in hell--and 1% expect to go there.

And half believe in ghosts.

Drunk upon the floor

British journalist Henry Nevinson, re the Black and Tans in 1921, but with perhaps some slight applicability elsewhere: “It is a terrible thing to feel ashamed of the country one loves. It is like coming home and finding one’s mother drunk upon the floor.”

Everybody says that the recently captured Al Qaida guy is a master of disguise, but no one explains why he was disguised as John Belushi when captured.

The last Caribbean who fought in Europe in World War I dies at 105.

A Martin Amis essay on Iraq and Bush, longish but with several quite good bits.

Ah, democracy. The US has evidently told the Turkish government to tell its Parliament to vote again, and this time get it right (arrogantly, the process of unloading military supplies in Turkey went on like nothing had happened). Why can’t they be more like the Bulgarians, whose Parliament offered bases and support without a single no vote? As a communist state, Bulgaria was the most sycophantic puppet of Moscow.

Speaking of countries that are only allowed democracies if they don’t produce governments and policies the US doesn’t like. Yesterday I noted that the US press had mostly missed Bush’s step back on the issue of Israeli settlements, saying nothing had to be done while there was violence and Arafat was in power, the wholesale adoption of Sharon’s ever-increasing list of demands, in other words. What I missed is that the next day Sharon told the Knesset that expansion of the settlements would be a priority--abandoning the pretext that his building boomlet was to accommodate “natural growth.” According to the Israeli defence minister, the current plan for a Palestinian state is 7 cantons based on the cities, with the rest of the West Bank annexed by Israel, with Israel controlling entry into the 7 bantustans.

Another regime change demanded by American conservatives: NBC is being pressured to fire anti-war activist Martin Sheen from The West Wing. Network execs have already demanded that Sheen explain his views.

A leaked Republican party memo on the environment says that they should pretend that there is no scientific consensus on the danger of greenhouse gases. Consultant Frank Lunz writes, “The scientific debate is closing [against us] but not yet closed. There is still a window of opportunity to challenge the science.” He also says they should never use the frightening phrase “global warming,” but rather “climate change” (and yes, Bush stopped using the phrase last year).

The British advertising regulator bans a McDonald’s commercial because the image of a steak sandwich in the ad looked nothing like the ones they actually sell. A Holocaust on your plate--and the portions are so small!

Yesterday I mentioned text messaging. The BBC has had a competition, classic texts into text messaging.
For ex:

rm rm w4Ru rm? [Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?]

1nc mr un2 T brech dr frnds 1nc mr

0.5a leag 0.5a leag
0.5a leag onwrd
All in T valy o Dth
Rd T 600
"^ T LB!
"Chrg 4T gns" he sd
In2 T valy o Dth
Rd T 600

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!
"Charge for the guns!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Voila moment

Here’s a site from someone with way too much time on his hands, but he uses it to correspond with spammers. Fun.

I’d have mentioned it days ago, but I assumed it would get proper coverage in the press. Silly me. Bush now says that Israel doesn’t have to stop building settlements until he gets everything he wants from the Palestinians.

So Turkey has decided not to be one of the COW (Coalition of the Willing) states. Evidently all the talk about bazaars, and editorial cartoons showing Turkey as a bellydancer, pissed them off. Fortunately, the US has immediately learned its lesson in dealing with the national pride of countries it wants favors from, and sets about wooing Angola’s Security Council vote by having Dick Cheney call its president. Dick Cheney, the supporter of UNITA. Dick Cheney, who voted against protesting South Africa’s treatment of Nelson Mandela. Dick Cheney, the proponent of South Africa’s apartheid government. What, Chester Crocker or Henry Kissinger or Trent Lott too busy? The annoying thing is that they’re so poor we probably can bribe them (we’ve been blocking international development money to rebuild after the 30-year civil war we played such a big role in keeping going).

As I’ve said, the US has drastically stepped up its bombings in the “no fly” zones. Now, the Pentagon claims that the rules of engagement haven’t changed, which would mean that pilots only fire in self defense. If this were actually true, then the increased bombing would have been in response to some escalation of attacks by the Iraqis. And if that were true, the Bushies would have been making a big deal of it, as more proof of Iraqi aggression. Which they haven’t. Therefore, class, using simple logic, we prove that the Pentagon’s justifications are a crock of shit. Quod erat demonstrandum.

The Pentagon’s theory of the Iraq war depends on something called the “Voila Moment.” This is the moment when Iraqi civilians, soldiers, etc, with missiles raining down all around them, suddenly realize “Why those nice Americans don’t really intend to kill me and all my family, they just mean to free us from that evil tyrant Saddam.” Then they rise up in their thousands, stop fighting the Americans and overthrow Saddam. This is the point of all those leaflets and radio broadcasts we are currently annoying the Iraqis with. The problem, one Guardian commentator commentates, is that this actually happened in some parts of Iraq during the last war, and was swiftly followed by a Screw You Moment, when the Americans let the rebels be slaughtered.

The Daily Telegraph launches its hysterical over-reaction of the week, about the decline of literacy due to mobile phone text messaging, after a 13-year old girl in Scotland turns in a “What I did over summer vacation” essay in it: “My smmr hols wr CWOT. B4, we usd 2go2 NY 2C my bro, his GF & thr 3 :- kds FTF. ILNY, it's a gr8 plc." Translation: "My summer holidays were a complete waste of time. Before, we used to go to New York to see my brother, his girlfriend and their three screaming kids face to face. I love New York, it's a great place."

Nostalgia time: there’s a fire at the new library in Alexandria.

I’ve thought of another bad joke about the PETA campaign: A Holocaust on Your Plate, A Thousand-Year Reich on Your Hips.

There seems to be some controversy about what happened to that Al Qaida guy, something Mohammed, captured over the weekend. Most reports say he was removed to an unnamed country, while Pakistan claims they still have him. What nobody disputes is that if they’re going to get any actionable intelligence out of him, they have to do it fast, so torture will be involved. We are now a nation that routinely tortures people, and no one cares.

Also, a federal appeals court ruled admissible a confession by a Colombian drug-lord type in Colombia made as part of a failed plea bargain. Such statements are inadmissable if made in the US, but trials of foreigners now rather often seem to involve evidence extracted by less than savory methods by foreign governments.

Bastards

I think I’d better explain better an item in my last post, that a man was sentenced to 155 years for giving $3,500 from the proceeds of cigarette-smuggling (from N Carolina to Michigan, I might add) to Hezbollah. This conviction was the first under the new law (I think Clinton’s anti-terrorism rather than the “Patriot” Act) that treats giving money to a “terrorist” group (a designation which is of course made for political reasons, like the several Chechen groups just added to the list because the US is trying to buy off Russia’s Security Council vote), the way some of us did in college to Salvadoran, Nicaraguan, or South African groups, as exactly the same as committing actual terrorist acts. The NY Times gives a couple of paragraphs to this that leaves out all the key facts and fails to notice the significance of it.

I just mentioned a US bribe for Russia’s vote. Chile and Bulgaria are to get trade deals. Then there’s this on the NSA tapping the phones of other Security Council nations to discover their negotiating positions. My favorite part is when the paper calls the NSA guy who wrote the leaked memo, and his secretary insists that they have the wrong extension and hang up. Article on the bribes and threats being deployed.

The US now says that even Iraq disarming isn’t enough, Hussein has to go. In other words, Iraq looks like actually disarming, at least enough to remove the excuse for war, so they’re trying to push him not to disarm. If we’re going to go to war no matter what, it might have put US troops at less risk if we had at least waited for Iraq to destroy those missiles first. Also, a minor point I know, but going to war to change the rulers of another country is contrary to international law.

Thai drug war deaths: 1,140 and rising.

As you may have heard, a Canadian MP who didn’t know the microphone was on said, “Damn Americans. I hate those bastards,” and has since been having difficulties trying to explain it away. The Toronto Globe and Mail said that she was not speaking for the Canadian people and to prove the point, held an internet poll, which says
that Americans are, in fact, bastards, by a vote of 11,960 to 11,287.

No thanks, I couldn't eat one ethnic cleansing more

I paid $1.93 a gallon for gasoline today and so am now wholly behind a war for oil.

A Times article says that kindergarteners in Britain have been playing war games a lot more lately. Also, building towers and ramming planes into them.

170 nations have agreed an international treaty on tobacco, including bans on advertising, attempts to stop smuggling, and putting warning labels in big print, covering 30% of a cigarette pack. Now who could object to that? You guessed it.

By coincidence, a guy convicted in the US of smuggling cigarettes and giving a full $3,500 of the proceeds to Hezbollah is sentenced to 155 years (and yes, that’s really all he did).

Speaking of over-reaction, PETA’s latest campaign compares the eating of animals to Hitler’s treatment of the Jews. “A Holocaust on Your Plate,” the campaign is called. Mmmm, says Homer Simpson, Holocaust on Your Plate. Can I have a side of Freedom Fries with that?

The US response to Iraq’s decision to destroy those missiles is that it is “too late.” The logic of that position is that Iraq is not obligated to do it. If it is too late, then the US is already committed to war and no one could expect Iraq to continue disarming.

You can't even die in this country

So according to the one Iraqi defector the admin loves to cite as proof that only defectors rather than inspections get at the truth, and that Iraq covered up its early weapons program, Saddam Hussein’s son-in-law & weapons chief, all WMDs were destroyed in 1991. Only the UN never told anyone that he said this (in 1995). (This is from Newsweek, which downplayed it, but see the FAIR.org report).

A businessman is planning a theme park on the outskirts of Berlin: Ossiworld, for those feeling nostalgic for the GDR. Actually, the East Berlin they’re talking about--snarling dogs, random searches, etc.--is nothing like the one I remember, with polite helpful officials and a Wall less heavily guarded than the Tuilleries Gardens in Paris. Also, and no one ever talks about reproducing this, there was that propaganda lecture you had to go through before entering the East--the one given by an American.

President Niyazov, Great Hero of the Nation and True Father of all Turkmen, had his 63rd birthday today, and seems to have passed up the opportunity to rename something else, like the planets maybe. [Oh Christ, I wrote that before reading the rest of the article; actually, he has a meteor named after himself.] Here’s one I missed: the People’s Assembly (whose members come from the one legal party), recently demanded that Niyazov’s enemies be drawn and quartered and their organs left for the vultures in the Karakum Desert (which I believe is also one of the provisions in John Ashcroft’s draft Patriot II Act).

I didn’t know that inter-faith marriages are banned in Israel.

The House of Representatives voted today to ban human cloning. They obviously haven’t been watching the McNeil-Lehrer interviews with Democratic candidates for president.

According to the Georges Bush and Will, if the Senate doesn’t vote on Miguel Estrada’s nomination, it will be tantamount to a coup against the Constitution. Will then undermines his case a tad by saying it would be as if the Democrats wielded power without having won a presidential election.

Stand by your man

At yesterday’s press briefing, Ari Fleischer denied that the US is buying support for the war from other nations. From the official transcript: “But think about the implications of what you're saying. You're saying that the leaders of other nations are buyable. And that is not an acceptable proposition. (Laughter.)” That’s not Ari laughing, that’s the entire press corps literally laughing him out of the room.

A German police force decides to torture a kidnapping suspect (although the threat alone proves enough to get him to confess, they were really going to do it).

A judge in, where else, Texas, sentences a man who abused his 11-year old stepson by, among other things, hitting him in the genitals with a car antenna and throwing him out of the house, to sleep in a doghouse for 30 days (and pay a fine). So instead of putting him in jail where he belongs, he gets to go camping for a month.

Speaking of brilliant judges, Bush is still fighting for Miguel Estrada’s honor, which is more than Miguel Estrada ever did. Bush said, “I will stand by that man's side until he is sworn in as a judge.” That could get a little awkward in the shower, I suppose.

The Supreme Court rules that RICO can’t be used against demonstrators, which is exactly right, although I’d still like to see the courts force those Operation Rescue types to pay up the damages awarded against them.

As Bush is promising a miraculous spread of democracy in the Middle East if we have just one more war there, here’s a timely reminder of the results in Kuwait from the last War to Make the World Safe for Feudalism.

Very unfriendly

My raccoon came back tonight. And left again, a little bit wetter.

Speaking of water fights, see this interview (ok, not really) with a sea lion being trained by the Navy for combat against Iraq (interestingly, the link in the article to the page on this program in the Space and Naval Warfare Systems Command website does not work).

The Fox affiliate in Tampa, under pressure from Monsanto, tried to get 2 reporters to broadcast false reports related to the presence of Monsanto’s synthetic bovine growth hormone in milk. They refused and threatened to report the station to the FCC; they were fired, filed suit, and the court ruled that the station had deliberately falsified news. The decision has been reversed because it’s not illegal to lie in a news report. Which is as it should be, but that shouldn’t mean you can fire whistleblowers.

An American professional snowboarder (!) dies after trying to slide down the handrail of the fifth floor staircase in his hotel, then falling 15 meters. Alcohol is believed to have been involved.

And in Philadelphia a man responds to his daughter being hit with a snowball by shooting into a group of children, hitting one in the head. Which is the same principle US foreign policy is based on.

Speaking of shooting people in the head, see this on US assassination policy.

Forget the virtual march on Washington (that’s today). Instead, join the fast for GeeDubya’s holiness: “Our goal is to have 1,000 people fasting for the President each day. That will greatly encourage him and keep him accountable when the Evil One [Donald Rumsfeld?] seeks to sidetrack him from his commitment to the Lord.”

Do you know what the CIA hq is named? Neither did I, but it would explain a lot.

Here’s a nice gross story. A man beats his baby, then 3 months old (this was December 2001) to brain-death, but it’s been on a ventilator since then, with the mother going to court to get him removed, the father trying to prevent that happening and, coincidentally, his subsequent trial for murder. A court just sided with the mother.

North Korea conducted a missile test just before the inauguration of a new prime minister in S Korea. Ari Fleischer says N Korea will not be rewarded for bad behaviour. Also today, Colin Powell says the US will resume food shipments to N Korea. Obviously they’re not coordinating. I’m not sure I understand the absolute US refusal to talk bilaterally with the N Koreans and its insistence that any talks be regional. Japan isn’t the one with 40,000 troops stationed in S Korea, we are.

From the Telegraph: A woman spent a night in jail for trying "to help" a 6ft long alligator she had run over in her car. Leslie Strickland, 49, took the animal to her home in Florida but when neighbours said it was illegal to possess an alligator she panicked, and drove off to find a pond in which to release it. But the animal thrashed its tail causing her to crash. She faces motoring offences. The animal died.

I thought this crap had stopped: Slovakia is still coercing gypsies into being sterilized.

Sharon adds another party to his coalition, one opposed to any Palestinian state. And some tiny parties which support ethnic cleansing get some positions too.

That Palestinian film, “Jenin Jenin,” that the Israelis banned? Some reservists who took part in the Massacre of Jenin have sued the director for libel. Incidentally, one cinema defied the ban and showed it.

Tom Toles’s political cartoons have been pretty good lately. On the Yahoo site is probably the easiest way to view them (well, second easiest: I have them sent to me as email).

The Bushies have been emphasizing more that the war in Iraq will lead to a wave of democratization all over the Middle East, what Bush calls a “battle for the future of the Muslim world.” (Oh good, a rabid Christian gets to decide that future.) That is, democratization unless you count the places like Jordan and Egypt that are putting anti-war protesters in prison (see the Amnesty International reports), or Turkey, which is about to defy 96% of its population (or as low as 94%, if you read other polls) and give support to the war, or... The Post talks about a credibility gap on this issue among those with long memories. What, like when we abandoned the Afghans to warlordism and a puppet government a few months ago?

The army chief of staff told a Senate committee that occupying Iraq would take hundreds of thousands of soldiers. Rumsfeld later said that he had “misspoken.”

The American ambassador to France says that the US would view a French veto of its war resolution as “very unfriendly.” I don’t know, I think friends don’t let friends do genocidal wars. Speaking of friends, a member of the Kurdish Parliament in northern Iraq says that if the US lets Turkish troops into Kurdistan, “the United States will lose its best friend.” I don’t know about best, but certainly most consistently gullible.

Incidentally, the Post article, under the haven’t-we-seen-this-before headline “Bush Firm Warning on Iraq,” says that the US draft resolution “recalls the council's November warning that Baghdad would face ‘serious consequences’ if it did not [disarm], language that the United States and its allies in the chamber view as an explicit authorization to use force.” Explicit? In what dictionary?

A Post article on possible ethics charges being filed against a Republican Congresscritter says that this would break a “six-year ethics truce,” but doesn’t elaborate. Sounds like there was an agreement to ignore all the ethics rules by not filing charges against each other. How cosy.

I mentioned the admiral who was removed from a battle group on the way to the Gulf for having sex with a subordinate. Evidently, that was the USS Kitty Hawk battle group. That’s “kitty hawk,” admiral, kitty, not...

No, no, I guess that joke isn’t really my style.

Prime Minister of garbage cans

The US keeps encouraging Iraq to resist the UN inspectors. For example, here’s Ari Fleischer today: “If Saddam Hussein destroys the missiles that he said he never had ... you've got to wonder what other weapons does he have?” No, Ari, you really don’t. They must be chortling over Iraq’s current Catch-22: give up missiles it needs to fight an inevitable war, or give the US the excuse it needs to start the war immediately. Although, as I said last week, the US keeps bombing sites in Iraq, with less and less justification (a story in the Independent since then makes the same point), so really the war is now in its, what, 13th year.

Hussein wants to debate GeeDubya. Wouldn’t that be hilarious?

The Farc rebels in Colombia say they will treat the 3 CIA employees as prisoners of war. Hey, that’s more than we’d do for them. In fact, if they are CIA employees, or indeed civilian contractors like the gov says, the Geneva Conventions do not apply to them. A story on NPR today I only heard the headline for comments on this aspect of the increasing employment by the Pentagon of (armed) outside contractors, which is a way to avoid Congress or the press noticing just how many of them there are spread out over Colombia, the Philippines and god knows where else.

A Kentucky grand jury refuses to indict a white cop who shot a black prisoner, who was in handcuffs, 11 times. Since June 2000 Louisville cops have shot 6 men to death. Five were black, no charges have been brought.

Sharon will exclude Shas from government. Its “spiritual leader,” a rabbi, calls Sharon “Prime Minister of garbage cans,” whatever that might mean.

Which reminds me. The next Austrian coalition gov, which is taking even longer to put together than Israel’s, will include the party of the gay neo-fascist Jorg Haider.

Jonathan Steele in the Guardian says that the risk that Blair et al are taking in going to war in defiance of public opinion requires that there be tv images of Iraqis dancing in the streets, just as the invasion of Afghanistan was retroactively justified by women throwing off their burquas. Never mind what happened after that, it’s those first images that matter. This is why the US’s seesawing plans for post-invasion governance matter so much. The British, who have some experience of this, seem to think that Viceroy Tommy Franks is not going to be good PR. And what after that? If the UN gives permission for this war, it gives up the right to send peacekeepers in later, as it could in Kosovo (4 years after the Yugoslavs were kicked out, the UN special representative rules by decree as absolute dictator, the Albanians having no more self-determination than they did under Milosevic). Anyway, why should the UN discredit itself by picking up the wreckage left by the US, because the US “only does war”? The Afghan model won’t work, because there are no warlords to bribe. Fortunately for the US, it won’t matter, because we will have forgotten about Iraq by the end of this year, just like Afghanistan.

Saw Gephardt on McNeil-Lehrer. He drones on worse than Gore.

The parents of the 9-year old pregnant rape victim in Nicaragua say fuck it and get her an abortion illegally. The medical board that is required to approve an abortion had said that she faced the same risks from either abortion or pregnancy (a 9-year old? bullshit!).

Not so much running, as speed-walking

Good (but long) Joan Didion article on various aspects of life after 9/11.

Obit of the day: Shlomo Argov, the Israeli ambassador to Britain who barely survived an assassination attempt in 1982, giving Israel the excuse to invade Lebanon. As a reminder of the human cost of these things, Argov was in the hospital for the last 21 years, blind and mostly paralyzed. Oh, and he strongly opposed the invasion of Lebanon and the fact that it was made in his name.

The White House denies that the 3 CIA employees kidnapped in Colombia last week were in fact CIA employees. Whatever happened to the thing about never confirming if people are in the CIA? That’s supposed to be policy. Whether these people really are or not (and of course they are), the policy is obviously now to lie, since what would they have said if the 3 were CIA? They’d never admit it, so they’d either lie, or do the neither-confirm-nor-deny thing, which if they’re only doing it for actual CIA employees and denying it for the rest, would be the same as admitting it. So, if you follow my logic, the official policy is now to lie.

London Times headlines, world in brief section: Struggle to Name Dead in Club Fire. Gee, isn’t that a bit late to be naming them, shouldn’t that have happened when they were, like, born? And a cop chasing thieves in his SUV (what else?) ran over 2 French sisters sunbathing. One is dead, one critical.

Sharon, still putting together a coalition, is giving housing over to a party representing the settlers. That can’t be good.

Some BBC headlines: “Blair: time running out for Iraq” (February 1, 2003); “Bush: time running out for Iraq” (January 14, 2003); “Straw: time running out for Iraq” (15 September, 2002); “Time is running out, UK warns Iraq” (November 9, 1998?)

Maybe it’s like one of those stores that always has a going out of business sale?

The Thai crackdown on drugs is up to 600 dead.

moveon.org is sponsoring a “Virtual March on Washington” Wednesday. Something about spamming Senators. Still, I’m picturing millions of people all over the country, sitting in front of their computers wearing those Virtual Reality gloves and glasses. Martin Luther King may have had a dream, but did it have kick-ass state-of-the-art digitized special effects, just like in Matrix? I thought not.

Satan for breakfast?

Crap I can’t make up: the “What Would Jesus Eat Cookbook.”

Bush: “if we are incapable of guaranteeing this peace, international peace would become senseless rhetoric.”

Choosing the next leader of Iraq, the American way.

Coffins are exploding

Crematorium workers in Sweden are complaining about a rise in exploding coffins caused by pacemakers and breast implants, and relatives placing liquor, bullets and fireworks in caskets.

Evidently Tom Ridge is recommending "Have a good communications plan for your family." Or, to paraphrase Tom Lehrer, if you don’t have a good communications plan for your family, the very least you can do is to shut up.

His Fraudulency GeeDubya’s radio address today was on the subject of stealth judicial candidate Miguel Estrada, who neither Chris nor I can hear about without thinking of the actor in the 1970s gay cop show Chips (which is especially odd because I’ve only seen the show once). Anyway, Bush says the D’s “are stalling Miguel Estrada's nomination, while they search in vain for a reason to reject him.” I just want to point out that UN weapons inspectors have also been looking, mostly in vain, for reasons to reject Saddam Hussein. However, in that case, Bush cites that as reason to assume the worst, whereas after stonewalling the Judiciary Committee for 21 months, he expects the Senate to assume the best about Estrada. The point in common is that he wants his way, and he wants it NOW, dammit! Also, he referred to the Bar Association’s rating of Estrada; although he has refused to cooperate with the ABA in assessing his nominees, he is willing to cite them when they agree with him. As with his attitude towards going to the UN for resolutions on Iraq, it’s heads he wins, tails he loses.

WashPost headline: “Columbia Panel Focuses on Foam.” That’s what every committee needs: a latte machine.

The Post has an editorial on something I’ve been meaning to talk about. On the 15th I sent a link from the NY Times about Bush’s AIDS in Africa policy. I said, and I quote myself, “So Bush’s AIDS-in-Africa policy is also an attempt to stop abortion. What a surprise.” Imagine my surprise when the same story was run (even elsewhere in the Times) under headlines which suggested that Bush was in fact liberalizing his policy by working on AIDS with groups that also do abortions, when in fact it was clear that he was trying to hamstring them and extend the gag rule. The Post has it right, although they give Bush too much credit for his Potemkin policy. They do note that while he promised $10 billion, he’s only increased the budget this year by 1/20 of that. And guess what, it’s stolen from child poverty programs (and run through religious groups and US pharmaceutical businesses, as I’ve already said, while the UN AIDS program goes bankrupt).

supplemental

Click here. The bit about not running if you catch fire. But really, what do you make of #11, "account for your family members," which seems like it would take more counselling sessions than I'm really prepared to engage in, or #12, "Do not go back into a burning building and carefully supervise small children." Yes, a burning building is
probably not the best place to supervise small children.

Pardon my freedom

The Daily Show points out that the Dept of Homeland Security’s website has this useful piece of advice: if you are on fire, don’t run.

If you’re looking for parodies of the site, see this, this, and especially this. But to fully appreciate them, you must first experience the hilarious graphics and duct-and-cover advice on offer at the government site. For example, here we see how a simple door can block the blast, firestorm and radiation of a nuclear blast.

Speaking of stuff that’s already most of the way to being a satire of itself, there is a restaurant in NC that has renamed French Fries “freedom fries.” Insubordinate.net suggests some other changes: “Freedom kissing”, “Pardon my freedom.”

The Serbian prime minister threatens to sponsor a breakaway Serb province in Kosovo if the west doesn’t let Serbia’s troops return to “protect Serbs’ rights.” Well, it’s worked so well in the past.

The sharia courts in Nigeria are getting creative. A thief has been sentenced to “cross-amputation”: right hand and left leg.

Sexism rears its ugly head in the Russian space program, which during the current crisis will not be sending any more woman cosmonauts up.

8 foot ceiling. Fireworks. What could go wrong?

After arresting the Palestinian professor in Florida, the Justice Dept is now going after academics elsewhere, including accusing a lecturer at Birbeck College in London, producing this gulp-inspiring headline in the Telegraph: “Don Denies Terror Claims.”

In more random censorship news, Russian authorities shut down a newspaper for running a parody of Putin’s growing personality cult, and Spain orders a Basque paper closed for supporting independence (it appeared anyway today under a different name).

Creepy religious item of the day (only $20).

A little snip is a small price to pay for such a splendid machine

Rumsfeld wants to change the law preventing the deployment of weapons systems (i.e., Star Wars) that don’t actually work.

350 or so American Special Forces troops (and support staff--actually a suspiciously high number of support staff) will join the Philippines government in active combat against rebels. I must have missed the Congressional debate on that one. You’ll remember this started off as a “training mission.”

Saw John Ashcroft on McNeil-Lehrer saying that the Patriot Act was what allowed him to arrest that South Florida professor today. And charge him with things that took place before that Act was passed.

Pakistan’s air force commander dies in an air crash. That reminds me, I’m thinking of forming a charity to bring much-needed irony to irony-deprived nations. Ironie Sans Frontièrs, maybe.

Hey if those prisoners being kept forever in Guantanamo are such dangerous, highly-trained terrorists, how come none of the 19 who have tried to commit suicide actually succeeded?

Evidently, private mobile phones are banned in Iraq. OK, it’s to prevent them contacting the outside world, but still, isn’t that a great idea?

Speaking of fascist dictatorships, at the Georgia high school where Bush spoke today, students were warned that any protest against the war to make the world safe for democracy would not be tolerated. See, this is what I’m saying, we in the US have more irony than we could ever possibly use, and there are countries where children go to bed each night hungry for it. We are only 5% of the world’s population, and we use 23% of the world’s supply of irony.

According to Al Kamen at the Post, the founder of the largest duct tape company in the US is a major contributor to the Republican Party. Kamen also mentions the wart thing, if you didn’t believe me.

Israel has looked over the US “roadmap” towards Palestinian independence, and has over 100 changes it wants to make, including that there be no timetable, and that Palestinians have to jump through many hoops before Israel does anything at all, and that Palestine would have no military, control over its borders or airspace, or diplomatic relations with anyone Israel doesn’t approve.

From the Daily Telegraph: “Samoa's government has decreed that a new national uniform, complete with coconut shell buttons, must be worn by everyone attending a state function. The uniform - suits for men and the neck-to-ankle puletasi for women - can be made out of any material as long as it features traditional designs. These should include the teuila, the national flower, on the left side of the shirt with the word "Samoa" printed in small letters underneath it.”

Evidently at some point Samoa was taken over by gay men.

What would Jesus litigate?

Nicholas Kristof in the Times says roughly what I said last week about Bush’s frightening optimism.

It got no particular coverage, but police in Colorado Springs shot anti-war protesters with rubber bullets.

It’s kind of fun to watch the US and Turkey haggling about the size of the bribe Turkey’s going to get. We all know they’re going to come to a deal, but there’s all that bazaar bargaining to be gotten through first--“Sooner would I cut off my own left testicle than accept such a measly offer as $15 billion.” Hope they’re gonna pass some of the extortion money around; the last opinion poll showed 96% of Turks opposing this war, which may be higher than in Iraq itself. Actually, even with the bribe, Turkey is expecting to be really badly hit economically (unless of course it can find that map it says shows that the northern Iraqi oil fields are actually theirs), which should mean plenty of discontent, which I’m sure the Muslim extremists are much too ethical to exploit. No, no way this could go horribly horribly wrong.

Another possible political casualty is the EU. Chirac may be on the right side of the war issue (or he may be playing the Turkish game a little more subtly: God knows it’s not like he hasn’t taken a bribe or ten in his time), but he’s still a major prick, and way overplayed his hand when he told the Eastern (“new”) European states that now was a good time to shut up. Usually it takes an Israeli leader to come down from a moral height so quickly. Still, he may have a point: the US is using the former Warsaw Pact countries’ allegiance to NATO as a way of subverting their allegiance to a European community, or perhaps more accurately as part of an attempt at a hostile takeover of the EU by the US.

Have you noticed that the US bombing of Iraqi military sites, which is now a daily occurrence, no longer comes with any justification whatsoever (they fired a missile at us, they turned their radar on, they looked at us funny)?

Salon has an interview with Molly Ivins. They make you watch a commercial first, except they’re also failing economically and no one much wants to advertise, so sometimes you can’t read anything, like yesterday when it first ran.

Evidently part of the reason the GAO abandoned its efforts to get the names of Cheney’s energy advisors is that the R’s threatened to cut its budget.

Colin Powell, showing why generals make crappy diplomats, accuses the French--excuse me, “some nations”--of being “afraid of stepping up to the responsibility of imposing the will of the international community”. Oooo, now he’s calling them ‘fraidy cats. That should work--if they’re six.

Also, what’s “will of the international community” when it’s at home? The Holy Ghost?

A study shows that the majority of AIDS cases in Africa before 1988 were caused by unsterilized needles. This may or not be true, but there’s certainly been something of a cover-up of unsafe medical practices, for fear that Africans will give up on Western medicine altogether.

Another creepy medical story: a pregnant woman goes into the hospital in Sardinia to give birth, but instead for some reason decides to jump out the window, killing herself. A caesarian is performed successfully on her dead body.

Here’s a story of truly French thieves: they broke into a cheese cellar in eastern and stole one ton of something called comte (like gruyere, the article says), worth about $10,000.

Down with this sort of thing

You know what else duct tape is good for? Removing warts, evidently.

More signs from the London anti-war rally: “Stop Mad Cowboy Disease", "Down With This Sort Of Thing", "Peace Not Slogans". It occurs to me that y’all probably thought my reference to grass in Hyde Park was a joke. If it was, it was that of the government, which initially tried to ban the rally from the park on that basis (mow down Iraqis, not grass). They had to back down, unlike the NY City government, which got away with trying to stop anti-war protests in NYC, with, as it turns out, a friend-of-the-court brief by the Bushies (which I’m hoping someone will put online).

What the fuck just happened in the Cyprus elections?

Sharon, anxious to increase Israel’s Jewish population, has decided to import some 20,000 Ethiopians who may or may not have once been Jewish.

Chirac today said that war is always the worst resolution. It’s too bad he was unaware that that is the motto of the Bush administration: “Always the Worst Resolution, since 2001.”

The Nicaraguan government is mulling over whether to allow a 9-year old rape victim to have an abortion. Cardinal Obando y Bravo (remember him?) naturally thinks she should be forced to carry it to term.

Remember when Shrub went to Spain and got Prime Minister Aznar’s name and title wrong? Well, his brother is there now, promoting trade, and referred to the “Republic of Spain.” The king is not happy. Fortunately, the Aznar problem may not plague Shrub long, since Aznar’s support for Bush’s war has caused his support, like Tony Blair’s, to plummet.

Thailand’s crackdown on drug use has somehow wound up with 397 dead, and counting.

As the FCC considers relaxing rules against media monopolies yet further, read this on the Venezuelan media’s onslaught against Hugo Chavez. This is a must read.

N Korea threatens to tear up the armistice agreement ending the Korean War, or more accurately says that US actions have already abrogated it.

The last New Zealand veteran of World War I has died.

One Two Three Four...

Looking back on old emails, I find I forgot, when discussing Powell’s UN speech, to use a fact which I was holding for an apposite moment. Actually, I’m wondering how many of you were aware of this: in 1969 Powell wrote the first report on the My Lai massacre, which he said based on no investigation did not happen, and added that in fact the American soldiers had great relations with the Vietnamese people.

The US expels an Iraqi journalist covering the UN. Hopefully the UN will protest. But I’m guessing the point was to make sure that Iraq would respond and kick US journos out, so there will be fewer pictures of the coming carnage broadcast in the US. And sure enough, some Fox News reporters are kicked out. Or possibly Iraq is just taking seriously the Fox slogan “We report, you decide,” and made the decision the rest of us would like to make--to deport all employees of Fox.

Given that Turkey is trying to extort a bribe of something like $25 billion to aid the war effort, it’s hard to get too worked up over France and Germany holding up deploying weaponry there.

Well over a million people marched to Hyde Park against the war, doing the grass simply no good at all. One person protested in support of war outside the Iraqi embassy. Protesters included the Eton George Orwell Society, Archaeologists Against War, the Swaffham Women's Choir and Notts County Supporters Say Make Love Not War (And a Home Win against Bristol would be Nice). “Make Tea Not War,” and the slightly cleaner and infinitely more British version of an old American standard: “One Two Three Four, We Don’t Want Your Bloody War.” One man walking a poodle had a sign “Stop insulting poodles.” The astonishing thing is that no one is chanting the equivalent of Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh. No one actually supports Saddam; the protest is purely anti-war. Tony Blair does not have the British people behind him, nor his own party, but he does have proxy control over the royal prerogative and a willingness to substitute his personal judgment for that of the nation.

Here’s a paragraph from a Mary Riddell column in the Observer:

Political leaders hate crowds. Mass meetings have been supplanted by leaks and soundbites. In the fractious build-up to war, lonely societies are encouraged to become more solipsistic. A fearful population, hiding behind its anthrax-proofed windows, is also tractable. There is nothing threatening to government about citizens bickering over the last roll of duct tape in Wal-Mart.

So Bush’s AIDS-in-Africa policy is also an attempt to stop abortion. What a surprise.

The American ambassador to Venezuela, where the US has supported a coup and really should shut up now, says that elections aren’t the answer. “Elections divide people. Elections don't bring people together ... Either you're on this side or you're on that side”. Or to put it another way, the elected president, Chavez, should give in to the rich people holding his country hostage.

Incidentally, Iraq rejected the Franco-German peace plan (which involved UN soldiers, for no obvious reason since there has been no resistance to inspections). Doesn’t seem to have gotten much play yet, only saw it in one paper.

A mad Martian come to live on Earth

WashPost headline: “Shuttle Probably Was Pierced.” Last time it was the O rings, now it’s evidently the belly button rings.

NY Times headline: “Survey Shows Majority Backs Delaying a War.” How ‘bout this one: “Survey Shows Majority Backs Whatever the Last Person They Heard Call Into Talk Radio Said.” The poll also says 42% think Saddam was involved in 9/11.

Doonesbury joins the chorus pointing out that Bush has never asked for sacrifice in the war on terror. That’s ok, we’re sacrificing quite enough for tax cuts for the rich.

Bush: “The decision is this for the United Nations: When you say something does it mean anything?” We’ve been wondering the same thing about you for years now, George.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/frontpages/ for the 2/14 front page.

Saddam issues a decree banning weapons of mass destruction. So that’s ok then.

AP headline: “Boston Priest Reinstated After Probe.” No comment.

The US Navy, showing that sense of priorities for which it is famous, removed the Admiral in charge of a battle group that is literally heading for the Gulf right now, because he had sex with a (female) subordinate.

A little late, some Valentine’s Day cards. My favorites: “You’ll do.” “I love you blah blah blah hearts & flowers yadda yadda yadda cupid etc.”

Here’s a British Valentine’s Day story: a juror in a fraud case sent a card to the prosecutor, asking him out. She was bounced off the jury and the other 11 quizzed about whether they also wanted to have sex with the prosecutor. None did. He won the case.

Russia’s tax police are going to start questioning the *children* of suspected tax cheats--using lie detectors.

Not really sure what this is about (from the Daily Telegraph): Einars Repse, Latvia's prime minister, told critics of his first 100 days in office that he was a "mad Martian come to live on Earth".


Yet another “old” European country makes Rummy’s hit-list. Austria is refusing to let the US transport troops through the country. Austria is not, of course, a member of NATO, but no one knows if the Secretary of War knew that. Or cared.