Saturday, May 17, 2003

Seen from ten feet away

Multnomah, Ore. planned to hire a part-time translator to communicate with those mental health patients who will only speak in Klingon. Media attention made them call off the job-search.

I was going to use the Net to add a comment on that in Klingon, but honestly, that just feels like way too much work, so let’s all just pretend I wrote something sarcastic but witty in Klingon.

A Brown professor says that the Saudi bombings were not Al Qaeda, but regular old anti-House of Saud types who want American mercenaries out of the country, as I said a couple of days ago. “Washington no longer seems able to entertain the thought that there might be revolutionary groups that have entirely local reasons for their actions. This tragic attack might well have taken place if the United States had not had a presence in Saudi Arabia. However, the existence of a quasi-military command force in the form of the Vinnell Corp. virtually guaranteed that Americans would be caught in the cross fire of what was arguably a local revolutionary action.”

I reported that the Rs’ insistence on holding their 2004 Convention in September meant they’d be choosing a nominee past the ballot deadlines in several states, including Calif. Well, the Democratic CA. secretary of state has decided to help them out and will sponsor a bill to change the deadline, saying he wouldn’t politicize his office, unlike some secretaries of state of southern states he could name. DNC chair Terry McAuliffe criticizes the decision.

France goes public with claims that the White House fed false rumors about it helping Iraq to the press. It will come as no surprise to my readers that The Bushies lie all the time, and that their specialty is little leaked stories that they know won’t stand up to scrutiny, but won’t get much scrutiny, and the correction won’t get much publicity, and the intended impression will remain in most people’s minds in a sort of vague way, without details. What France is complaining of is exactly what worked so well in convincing the American people that Saddam had something, they’re not sure quite what, to do with 9/11, but they use this technique for everything. I’m paying more attention than most and it didn’t occur to me to compare Bush’s most recent tax proposals to the promises about not touching the Social Security surplus in the 2000 election campaign (see the dailyhowler.com). Raymond Chandler had a great line, describing a woman: “From ten feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from thirty feet away.” Bush’s tax policy, like his foreign policy, is designed to be seen from 30 feet away.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Exploding pacemakers

I just made the sort of mistake only a sleep-deprived historian could. In the world in brief section of the NY Times I saw the headline “Belgium: War Crimes Complaint Against Franks,” and my first thought was that the statute of limitations should have run out for the Franks about 1,400 years ago. Turned out they meant Gen. Tommy Franks. Well that makes more sense. Now the Visigoths...

An interesting leak in the NYT (will anybody be horribly befuddled if I just use that abbreviation in the future?), which was told by FBI sources that they had nothing to do with the expulsion of Cuban diplomats for spying, in other words they may have been spies, but did nothing in particular recently to justify the measure, which was ordered for political reasons by the White House. This sort of childish message-sending is bad enough for normal diplomats, but 7 of them were in Cuba’s UN delegation, and the UN host country should not be screwing around with that without a very much better reason than they had. It’s not just showing contempt for Cuba, but contempt for the UN.

The House Armed Services Committee rejected the Bush proposal to allow development of baby nukes (the Senate committee went the other way). How ‘bout that?

For those who of you who like the Opera web-browser but are annoyed by the flashing banner ads, they have disappeared in the last few weeks. My guess is that they run ads on the newer versions of the program, but have stopped for the older ones.

So Texas state cops enlisted Homeland Security in the search for the missing D’s by claiming to have believed their plane had crashed. Naturally, Tom Ridge’s boys in yellow failed to detect the false alert.

Paul Wolfowitz told Turkish tv that the Bush admin was disappointed that the Turkish military hadn’t overruled the civilian government to assist the US in Iraq.

From the Danish Post, via Funny Old World in Private Eye:
“Every time this happens, it’s a disaster,” Claes Foghmoes of the Danish Crematorium Owners Association (DCMA) told reporters in Copenhagen, “and the explosions are happening more and more often these days. Whenever there’s a blast, it disables the entire mechanism, and we have to let the oven cool for two to three days, before we can go inside to change the parts. And as a result, we’re often left with a backlog of bodies, which have to be rerouted to other crematoriums.”

Earlier, Dr Niels Bloch of the Medical Officers Association had described how explosions were disabling or destroying crematoriums throughout Denmark, because doctors forget to remove pacemakers from deceased patients. “It’s my impression that these accidents aren’t due so much to forgetfulness, but to the fact that the doctor who signs the death certificate often isn’t aware that the deceased has a pacemaker to begin with. Lithium batteries are commonly used in pacemakers, and they explode like TNT when exposed to extremely high temperatures. This sort of explosion is so powerful that the crematory oven brickwork, heat sensors, and cover can all be irreparably damaged, and the DCMA then sends damage bills of up to DKK 100,00 to liable hospitals and doctors.

“What we need is legislation that makes it a matter of standard procedure for patients to have the word ‘pacemaker’ tattooed to their chests when they are fitted with one. How can doctors know otherwise, except by asking them? And of course, when the patient is dead, that line of enquiry becomes rather tricky.”

Thank God we didn't have those Democrats at the Alamo

The US has started a tv station in Iraq, but indefinitely postponed it having a news program, after the “administration” tried to have it pre-censored by the wife of a Kurdish leader sponsored by the US.

The military denies a NY Times report that it had given new orders to shoot looters. OK, only the Times knows the source that leaked it the original story, but simple logic can tell us what happened here. First, they were never going to implement such a policy, because it would look bad, because some of the looters are taking food because they are starving, which is our fault, and because how would the Iraqis hear of the policy change. That tv station interviewed the head of the electricity dept and I imagine the first question was, why are we bothering interview you when no one has electricity to run their tv’s. So what they must have done was leak the false story of a shoot-to-kill policy in order to frighten the Iraqis. All the reign-of-fear benefits of an actual shoot-to-kill policy without the opprobrium, and it’s all deniable. Governance by rumor.

Another suicide bombing in Chechnya, sadly narrowly failing to kill the head of Moscow’s puppet government. Putin is trying to claim that this is linked to the bombings in Saudi. About the only link is that last week he said the war in Chechnya had been won and last week Bush said that Al Qaeda is “not a problem any more.” Bombs don’t kill people, smug pronouncements of victory kill people.

Or maybe paper cuts do. Condoleeza Rice said last week that the US is hoping to find incriminating documents in Iraq rather than the actual WMDs. The British however, are saying that the discovery of mass graves justifies the war, retrospectively, and we should all ignore the rationales they gave at the time.

US Rep. Sam Johnson (R-some bit of the US stolen from Mexico) accused the Texas legislators-in-exile of being deserters. "Thank God we didn't have those Democrats at the Alamo." Yeah, because then it might not have gone so well. The D’s are probably regretting their choice of Oklahoma, having spent part of today in a basement after a tornado warning (there was no tornado). Somebody (not clear who) asked the Department of Homeland Security to trace an airplane one of the legislators owns. The Guardian warns “Hunting renegade politicians across the prairie has bipartisan appeal for an electorate with a generally low opinion of its representatives and a fierce attachment to guns and field sports. This idea could catch on, especially after the Clinton ban on Uzis and AK-47s expires next year.” And Molly Ivins...well, click here.

After the “rescue” of Priv. Jessica Lynch, the Pentagon released a very edited film of the operation. It now seems that the Iraqi soldiers had pulled out of the hospital days before--and the Pentagon absolutely refuses to release the unedited footage.

In my last, I mentioned Jeb Bush trying to appoint a guardian for a fetus. A detail: when a reporter used the word “fetus,” the Jebster interrupted and insisted on the word “baby.”

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

The meaning of American justice

California may be closing all its schools, but there’s still money in the budget for grief therapy for farmers whose chickens were killed to prevent the spread of Newcastle Disease.

Why is it a “Bushism” that Shrub called New Mexico “The Land of the Enchanted”? Doesn’t that describe anyone from Santa Fe you’ve ever met?

An Israeli paper had this headline, "Sharon to Powell: Do you want settler women to have abortions?" I have no idea what Powell’s reply could possibly have been, although he could have asked if Sharon wanted Palestinian women to have abortions, since Sharon is planning to seize this Lebensraum from a population with a higher birth rate. By the way, a study says that Israelis get more than 50% more water than Palestinians, so at least the settlers can have a nice relaxing bath after their abortions.

Speaking of which, Jeb Bush illegally orders the state to appoint a guardian for the fetus of a severely mentally disabled woman impregnated in the facility she has lived in her entire life. In other words he wants to use this rape victim, too handicapped to be able to speak, as an incubator.

There are 15,000 princes in Saudi Arabia.

A new biography of JFK says that he too fucked an intern, 19 years old. Named Mimi.

Iraqi schoolchildren are being told to rip out anything in their textbooks with the name or picture of Saddam Hussein, by order of the Ministry of Education. This was the job Winston Smith held in “1984,” of course. Saddam is now an “un-person.”

The bombings in Saudi Arabia hit an American company Vinnell, which is a CIA front that recruits mercenaries. Its people, the Times says, were seen fighting alongside Saudi troops in the 1991 Gulf War, which leads to the question--Saudi troops actually did some of their own fighting in the 1991 Gulf War? They also tried to overthrow the Bishop government in Grenada in the early 1980s, were involved in Iran-Contra, and have a “No Jews” clause in their Saudi contracts. They used to be owned by the Carlyle Group, which I have mentioned before. I guess I can’t be on the same side as the terrorists, but gosh it’s tempting sometimes, isn’t it?

Bush says that the terrorists will learn the meaning of American justice. Speaking of which, I heard a rumor that O J Simpson will do tv commentary on the Robert Blake trial. (Hah, I’ve been holding on to that one for a week waiting for the exact right moment to use it!)

The world’s first inflatable church---and it’s Gothic.

Protests by Iraqis have forced the resignation of Baathists the US tried to impose on them as head of the ministry of health, police chief and deputy police chief.

One of the Texas state legislators has been arrested. There is also an 800 number to report on their location, and the cops are conducting surveillance on the missing legislators’ families. The D’s are in Oklahoma, not New Mexico as I reported yesterday. They gave a press conference today and are accusing Tom DeLay of messing with Texas, which I recall from Bush’s campaign is considered a hangin’ offence in these here parts.

The 1994 ban on Uzis and other semiautos will be allowed to expire, so plan your gift-buying accordingly.

Monday, May 12, 2003

Dr. Germ versus the Card Deck of Justice

Here’s a report that tries to discover exactly what Bush knew and when he knew it on 9/11/01. Evidently, there are many contradictory details and 7 different versions--several told by Bush himself--including whether Bush was told about the hijackings before or after he started reading to the kiddies, and who told him. If we believe what the White House has said, Bush heard about the World Trade Center a full 10 minutes after CNN reported it. This article suggests that Bush was told, before the event at the school, but simply didn’t grasp what had happened, and the White House then had to cover this up, putting out the story that he was informed while reading to the kids about goats. I said at the time that it was criminally negligent of Bush, once he knew that more than one airplane had been hijacked, not to break off the event immediately, because the president was (then) the only person authorized to order civilian aircraft over the US to be shot down, and he should have been finding out what was going on in case he had to make such an order, but he chose the photo op over intel. Something I missed: on several occasions Bush himself has said that he saw the footage of the plane hitting the WTC on a tv before he went into the school--except no such footage was available until the next day. The article is long and incredibly detailed, but it asks a lot of interesting questions about what precisely was going on that day. A must-read.

With all these movies based on Marvel comics coming out, do you think it’s a coincidence that the US media have given recently arrested Iraqis nicknames like “Dr. Germ”? Note that the good doctor was not captured but surrendered, as have most of the Deck of Card (TM).

Bush judicial nominee Charles Pickering has lied about his racist past in Mississippi.

I have no idea what’s going on in Iraq, except that Jay Garner seems to have been deposed in a much less bloody regime change than the last one. Barbara Bodine, who was supposed to be running the Baghdad region, is also sent home. She was asked some time back by the press about the incident in Fallajuh (which was within her jurisdiction) in which US soldiers killed 13 (or so) protesters, but she hadn’t even heard about it. The new crop of proconsuls are avoiding such embarrassment by not talking to the press at all, including Margaret Tutweiler, who is in charge of communications--communications with whom is not entirely clear.

Two months ago, Putin said that his fake elections in Chechnya made the rebels irrelevant. Today they blow up 40 people. Hopefully a lot of them were KGB. Putin says this was intended to disrupt the “normalization process” in Chechnya. Good. As a bumper sticker I saw in Berkeley said, “Normal people worry me.” Normalization in Chechnya especially worries me.

Israel promises Colin Powell to ease restrictions on Palestinian movement. And then promptly seals off Gaza again.

Almost all the Democratic Texas state legislators are hiding in Oklahoma to prevent a quorum. The remaining legislators have been locked in, and troopers were sent to arrest legislators, but there aren’t enough to conduct business (which is the redistricting I mentioned a few days ago). I predict a rip-snorting Molly Ivins column. Until then, this from the WashPost:
Today, New Mexico Attorney General Patricia Madrid said lawyers for Perry asked her if Texas Rangers might be allowed to make arrests in New Mexico. Madrid, a Democrat, said no. "Nonetheless," she added in a statement, "I have put out an all-points bulletin for law enforcement to be on the lookout for politicians in favor of health care for the needy and against tax cuts for the wealthy."

Indonesia restarts the war in Acheh.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

We're sexy, we're cute, we're radical to boot!

Fear, it will not surprise you to hear, is big business. Terrorist-related fear, really big business. Here’s a story about Bush advisor and former incompetent CIA head James Woolsey, who is a director of an equity firm set up after 9/11 to make money off the $60 billion they expect the government to spend. Woolsey also spends his time lying for the administration, blaming the anthrax scare on Iraq, claiming there’s a link between Al Qaida and Iraq, etc etc. He played up the need for new equipment to protect against biological weapons, while his firm invested in that very technology.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that Bucharest’s children’s hospital had stopped providing dialysis but had hired armed guards to keep out journalists there to report on the dying kids. Well, the response to the article in the Daily Telegraph was £15,000 in British donations which the hospital, naturally, refused. A week later they changed their minds.

Those of us who receive emails purporting to be from the relatives of its former leaders know that the civil wars in Congo-Kinshasa were highly profitable, especially for us if we provide those relatives with our bank account numbers (and profitable for all sides--Kevin and Chris have heard from Mobutu’s heirs, I from Kabila’s). Still, they produced a lot of orphans, as has AIDS. And when their relatives don’t feel like taking them in, evidently they accuse them of being witches and throw them out, almost 30,000 of them on the streets of Kinshasa, according to Save the Witches, I mean Save the Children. The fact of their parents dying of AIDS is of course proof that a spell was cast. Or, when their relatives don’t feed them, their emaciation is a sign of witchcraft. And I haven’t even talked about the exorcisms. Read the article here and keep away from knives and gas ovens for the next hour.

Evidently anti-war rallies now have their own cheerleaders. “We're sexy, we're cute, we're radical to boot!” I just looked up “radical cheerleaders” on Google, and evidently it’s a phenomenon.

The US (and Britain) have gone to the UN to be recognized as the legal rulers (“authority”) of Iraq. I can’t remember when the UN was last asked to give trusteeships over whole peoples. Can it even do that, abrogate the sovereignty of a nation? The US used to report (reluctantly) to the UN Trusteeship Council about the Philippines, but the Council dealt with existing colonies, it didn’t sanction the creation of new ones. I am suggesting here that this would be an important and dangerous innovation in international law. Hopefully, someone will veto it; much better if Bush does what he’s going to do anyway in violation of international law. An occupation regime represents force and force alone. Sometimes force and occupation may even be necessary, but let’s not kid ourselves about this being about anything more than who had the most expensive weaponry.

So what’s with the ritual humiliation of forcing Iraqis who want jobs and were members of the Baath Party to denounce both it and Saddam Hussein, and everyone else to declare that they are not now, nor have they ever been, members of the Baath Party? I’m not making up that wording--“denounce” or the McCarthyite stuff. Maybe we can teach them the Pledge of Allegiance. This is not the way to make people free, it is the way to make them keep their heads down, just like they did under Saddam, who also made them sign pledges.

Speaking of dangerous innovations, Congress is moving ahead with granting the Bushies the power to test baby nukes (5 kilotons, or 1/3 of a Hiroshima). Such devices could be used as bunker-busters or to incinerate bio/chem weapons sites, or possibly just because they’d look cool, like Bush landing on an aircraft carrier, and are therefore designed to be used, not to threaten with, eroding the line between conventional weapons and those which should never be used, making the case against nuclear proliferation that much harder for the US to make and, therefore the world an increasingly dangerous place as nukes spread to more and more nations, proliferating like the sub-clauses in this very sentence--stop the madness!

Saturday, May 10, 2003

Berlusconi added, and I have a mistress, but in two years...

As you know, the US has been trying to get countries to agree not to surrender US nationals to the International Court. In recent weeks, pressure and threats have been brought to bear on Caribbean nations, which I assume was necessary to ensure that Henry Kissinger has somewhere nice to vacation. This week, Sierra Leone gave the US the impunity agreement it wanted, and vice versa, which is especially significant since SL just had a civil war with the requisite crimes against humanity etc.

The Bushies may invoke executive privilege to keep documents away from the 9/11 commission.

A Baltimore Sun piece on a recent requirement that every other state adopt the centralized voter registry that worked so well in Florida, making ethnic purging of “criminals” easier. Did you know that voter registries in the South have the race of voters next to their name?

The world’s stupidest looters: the ones who took drums labeled “radioactive” from Iraqi nuclear research facilities, poured out that glowing yellow stuff and used them for storage.

Bush proposes a US-Middle East free trade zone, an idea which will never be heard of again. The idea, of course, is to coerce Arab states into dropping their boycott of Israel (an element of the plan the NY Times fails to mention).

The US releases some Guantanamo prisoners, saying they “no longer posed a threat to US security,” whatever that means, possibly that they hit puberty and are now more interested in girls. Actually, the US won’t even say whether it has released the under-16 crowd. Incidentally, they just moved yet more prisoners there from Afghanistan, more than they released.

Here’s a good headline for an op-ed piece in The Times that I didn’t actually feel the need to read: “The Vatican Should Settle for Being a Temple to Bad Taste and Stop Trying to Become the Official Church of the EU.”

James Kopp, who murdered an abortion doctor, is sentenced to 25 years to life. In this case, I find that I am actually pro-life.

PM Berlusconi told the NY Times that he is not having any fun. “‘I have a sailboat, but in two years, I’ve only been on it one day,’ he said, speaking in Italian and striking a stoic tone.” I think that last bit is sarcasm.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

The Swiss are the lovers


Berlusconi is planning to freeze his trial by getting a law passed for immunity from prosecution for MPs (they floated a plan limited to cabinet ministers and their deputies, but the MPs who will have to vote on it wanted to be above the law too).

I mentioned that Poland will be given a zone in Iraq. Any German troops may be put under Polish command. Heh heh.

Low-income students are suing the state of California for equality in textbooks, teachers, classrooms, etc etc in public schools. They note that Gray Davis has set minimum standards for student progress, but no standards for school quality. Fighting this, Davis is arguing (and I’m gonna quote from the Chron because you wouldn’t believe that I wasn’t exaggerating) “that low-income students are unlikely to do any better in school even with the same educational benefits as middle-class students.” One of his experts, Caroline Hoxby, who’s at Harvard and so must be smart, or at least arrogant, says that the influence of parents and the neighborhood is much more important than that of the schools, so that if you give too much money to the schools, it reduces the influence of the parents and neighborhood relative to the schools. So far, Davis has spent $18 million fighting the suit, which reduces the influence of the schools relative to over-priced lawyers and Harvard economists. One expert on the other side quoted in the article was Kevin’s dissertation chair, who may not be smart enough to work at Harvard but owns bassets and so must be trustworthy and not embarrassed to be seen in public with a silly-looking animal (Kevin, not the basset).

And Republicans are trying to recall Davis because he’s too liberal.

Here’s a frightening WashPost headline: “1,500 Spanish Troops To Aid Iraq Recovery.” Yes, soon Iraq will be up to Spanish levels of efficiency. And will have the level of security that only the Polish army can provide. Iraq is getting to be like that joke about heaven and hell. Wait, here it is from the internet:
In heaven:
The English are the police,
The Germans are the mechanics,
The Swiss are the administrators,
The French are the lovers,
The Italians are the cooks.

In hell:
The English are the cooks,
The French are the mechanics,
The Swiss are the lovers,
The Italians are the administrators,
The Germans are the police!
I found that by searching Google for “the swiss are the lovers.” Sadly--at least it’s sad for the Swiss--the only hits were for that joke.

In recompense for the Spanish troops, the Bush admin has put a couple more Basque organizations on the terrorist list. Not that a list of officially designated terrorist organizations would be composed on the basis of political horse-trading, oh no.

The WashPost finally reports that Bush delayed the homecoming of the carrier Abe Lincoln by a day (you heard it here 5 days ago). D’s figure it cost $800,000 to $1m. Bush responds only that it was an honor to be there. An honor is something that is bestowed upon one. This is something he ordered as commander in chief: it’s no more an honor than sending flowers to yourself on your own birthday is. Ari Fleischer says criticizing the stunt is a disservice to the men and women of the military. He doesn’t say how.

I hadn’t realized that Iran gave the US overflight rights during the Afghan war--and revoked them within hours of Bush making the “axis of evil” speech. The speech also of course led N Korea to decide that the US had declared war on it, although it was added to the axis pretty much just so that it wouldn’t be all-Muslim. To date, “axis of evil” is the only memorable piece of rhetoric out of Shrub’s mouth, and it’s been way more trouble than it’s worth. He should have learned from his father, who has said 3 memorable things in his entire life. “A thousand points of light,” which is fairly unobjectionable, if vacuous; “voodoo economics” and “Read my lips, no new taxes,” which were deeply embarrassing when he had to take them back.

Notes towards Shakespeare, by six George W. Bush lookalikes

The EU is planning to require that industrial chemicals sold in Europe actually be tested for safety first. The US is complaining that this is unfair. Or, to put it another way, no such tests occur in the US, except for pesticides. Something else to worry about.

Some Dem. Senator in McNeil-Lehrer today was complaining that the Republican approach to rules is goal-oriented, i.e., if they’re losing the game, they make up new rules. That was about confirmation of judges. But here’s a new one: re-drawing the lines of Congressional districts. Silly me, I thought this could only be done every 10 years, after a census, but evidently it can be done for partisan advantage any time someone feels like it, as in Colorado and maybe, on a larger scale, Texas.

At Bush’s press conference with Prime Minister Aznar of Spain, he twice referred to him as president--again. Although at least this time he got his name right.

So will a bunch of monkeys in front of typewriters produce Shakespeare? No, but they will shit on the keyboard (as who hasn’t, at one time or another?). Someone has tried the experiment and you can buy a book (Notes Towards the Complete Works of Shakespeare) of their actual literary production, sans monkey poop.

The US occupation authority is thinking about censoring Iraqi tv. I hope my digestive problems the last couple of weeks don’t come from ingesting too much irony, since some days I pretty much live on the stuff.

Foreigners entering the Gaza (including UN aid workers) must now sign a waiver absolving the Israeli army if it shoots them. And they must declare that they are not peace activists. The autopsy on a British cameraman proves that he was shot by the Israelis, and not by Palestinians as the army tried to claim. Also, when the family of a British peace activist shot deliberately through the head when he was trying to protect a small child (and still in a coma 3+ weeks later) went to the site in the company of the British consul, they were shot at, despite having given notice of their plan and route three times.

Rome is going to test and license those guys who sit on sidewalks and sell crappy paintings to tourists, to see if they can actually paint. Evidently most of those things are actually made in China, and the “artist” sits around pretending to touch it up.

Richard Perle received a classified briefing from the Defence Intelligence Agency on Iraq and Korea, and two weeks later gave a talk to Goldman Sachs investors entitled “Iraq Now. North Korea Next?”

Monday, May 05, 2003

When is a child not a child?

A couple of stories in the Guardian on ChoicePoint, a story still ignored by American papers. A quote: Literature that ChoicePoint produced to advertise its services to the department of justice promised, in the case of Colombia, a "national registry file of all adult Colombians, including date and place of birth, gender, parentage, physical description, marital status, passport number, and registered profession". It is illegal under Colombian law for government agencies to disclose such information, except in response to a request for data on a named individual.

Also, while the company is busy denying it illegally acquired Mexican electoral registration information, its own advertising says it can offer "nationwide listing of all Mexican citizens registered to vote as of the 2000 general election - updated annually".

The US gov will also be trying to get credit card information on any foreigner entering the country.

Speaking of privacy, the State Dept’s annual report on international terrorism contains harsh criticism of Canada. Evidently it doesn’t have enough police and its citizens have too many privacy rights, inhibiting its ability to deliver up information on Canadians when the US demands it.

I saw only the excerpts from the first Democratic debate, which was more than enough. It was held in the all-important state of South Carolina, whose 3 registered Democrats are pivotal, as we know. Polled later, all 3 said that it was the first time they’d seen a Jew up close. Joe the Jew chided the other candidates for not being Republican enough. Kerry is running on his record as the only candidate to fight in the Vietnam War, which I suspect doesn’t even impress Vietnam vets all that much, much less anyone else. And if Kerry can be made that peevish by the incomparably bland Howard Dean, how on earth does he expect to be able to deal with Jacques Chirac or Kim Jong Il?

The incredibly corrupt prime minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, testified today at his own bribery trial, trying to implicate as many other people as possible (including former PMs Craxi and Prodi), claiming the judges are “reds,” and saying that he won’t resign even if he’s convicted. He has systematically destroyed the Italian justice system and taken over the nation’s media. And the Italian people don’t care. A good report.

The Pentagon is to release the child prisoners held at Guantanamo, or possibly just transfer them to jails in their own countries. Amazing what a little publicity can do. Rummy defended the detentions, saying the 13 to 15-year olds were dangerous and were “not children.”

Sunday, May 04, 2003

Sooner or later US killers we'll kiss you

The Daily Show describes Joe Lieberman as the candidate for people who want to vote for Bush but think he’s not Jewish enough.

Still, in the First Wife category, Kerry’s wife, the ketchup widow Teresa Heinz (now renamed by his staffers Teresa Heinz Kerry, in a process known as de-Rodhamization; they also forced her to change her voter registration from Republican), seems a winner. In an interview with Elle (which I can’t find at their site), she says that the best diet for children is rabbit meat, that Hillary should have shot Bill, and something about plastic surgery being essential.

Today they’re saying that Saddam Hussein “stole” $1 billion from the central bank. Leaving aside the question of whether that really constitutes theft, since he was, you know, dictator, I have to doubt that there was really that much just lying around in cash.

The Supreme Court overturned a ruling by the Texas Court of Appeals as to whether a confession was obtained following an illegal arrest. The Texas court said that there was no arrest, just because the 17-year old was woken up in the middle of the night and hauled off in his underwear; after all, a “reasonable person...would not believe that being put in handcuffs was a significant restriction on his freedom of movement”, and he showed his consent by not resisting the non-arrest or the use of handcuffs.

The (London) Evening Standard cut and pasted in order to make a front-page photo of the crowd at the statue-toppling in Baghdad look like there were more people than were actually there.

Also from the Memory Hole, the change in widely-disseminated news reports of a sign held by Iraqi protesters from “Sooner or later US killers we'll kick you out” to “...we’ll kill you.”

Also, the LA Times changed the online archived version of a story about the US plane that fired on British tanks, to remove everything that made the US look bad.

FAIR says that a Nexis search shows that the evening news programs on the 3 networks have not used the term “depleted uranium” once since the beginning of the year.

There will be a Polish Zone in Iraq. Oh, if I only did those sort of jokes.

Seymour Hersh’s latest, on how crappy the Bush admin’s intel on Iraq actually was, and how it was manipulated by Chalabi’s people and those in the Pentagon who only wanted to hear what they wanted to hear.

Henry Waxman has demanded an accounting of the cost for Bush’s campaign ad on the USS Abraham Lincoln, as Bush staff are forced to admit he could simply have taken a helicopter.

Here’s a story you don’t see every day: “Emmanuel Gumbi, 31, ran into a South African supermarket butcher’s department, seized a butcher’s saw and started to cut off his own head.” That’s an electric saw. He got halfway through. Which was enough.

Saturday, May 03, 2003

Green chili cheese grits

A week on, a report on the Americans’ lies about the massacre of Fallujah and failure to do a proper investigation. It also lists the state of play on investigations of other incidents, friendly fire, killing of journalists, that guy who confessed to murder to the Las Vegas newspaper.

Tony Blair, whose exact religious status is a little ambiguous (i.e., he’s been flirting with Catholicism for years) says that his actions in Iraq will be judged by “my Maker.” By British standards, this is effusively religious and is not the sort of thing one does in public. Former MP Matthew Parris says of Blair, “He has an unhinged belief, firstly in the purity of his own intention, secondly in the fact that his own good intentions can only lead to good results, and thirdly that he's going to win people over, that he's going to persuade people.” Which is a good description of Shrub.

The Mozarteum University in Salzburg, which once graduated Herbert van Karajan, is introducing a course in yodeling. Yodeling is becoming very popular, the Sunday Telegraph article says, including in Japan and China. Japanese people yodeling. The 4-year course will also include the zither and “the sort of dances that require the wearing of lederhosen and involve much knee-slapping.”

Speaking of cultural horrors, Bush had the Australian PM out to the ranch and fed him one of Bush’s favorite meals: green chili cheese grits.

Evidently today is the 25th anniversary of spam.

Today, Bush went out of his way to say that Tariq Aziz is giving us no useful information. Which obviously means that he is. Honestly, how stupid do they think we are?

No, don’t answer that.

The Big Shrug

From the Guardian: Later, veteran Labour MP Tam Dalyell tabled a Commons question to the prime minister asking to which Iraqis he was referring when he claimed in Warsaw that he had spoken to local people during his visit to Iraq on the subject of welcoming the American-British military action. Mr Dalyell, MP for Linlithgow and father of the Commons, commented: "From the public prints and the BBC, I understand that the only Iraqis to whom he spoke were schoolchildren."

The same story says Blair gave an “angry but opaque” denial of accusations that MI6 was told to “sex up” the dossier of accusations against Iraq. (In another bit of good writing, Polly Toynbee says that with Blair there is always a wavy line between deception and self-deception. “There is an almost childish blurring between the wish and the fact: if he says something strongly enough, his words can magic it into truth.” Sound like anyone else you know?)

Matthew Parris in The Times says that Blair’s (and by extension Bush’s) new communications tool about such things as the Big Shrug, a term I intend to use frequently. He doesn’t think it’ll work in Britain, and is surprised that the country turned out not to be so amnesiac as to have forgotten the reason given for going to war. The US, of course, is populated almost entirely by amnesiacs.

They’ve also been sexing up the March report of the UN inspectors, as proof that Iraq had WMDs. Hans Blix denies that they ever said anything of the sort.

If anyone out there cares about the Congo, they might want to read this . Here’s it’s opening sentence: “From her hiding place in the woods outside the Congolese town of Bunia, Ruta Bonabingi watched as militiamen roasted and then ate the severed arms of her dying daughters.” The paper notes that this is the deadliest war since 1945. Let’s give some credit to the French for being willing to send peacekeeping troops into the heart of darkness.

Some Burmese are suing Unocal in American courts, for the forced labor, murder, torture, rape, etc etc used by the Burmese military to provide security and free labor for the building of Unocal’s pipeline. John Ashcroft wants to eliminate the ability of foreigners to pursue such suits in US courts.

The Texas thing goes on. A restraining order was issued barring the fuzz shredding any more paperwork related to its hunt for the missing D’s, no doubt too late. A Dem. state rep on the Law Enforcement Committee, seeking to interview 4 cops, was told by the attorney general that he must first tell them who leaked that they were destroying documents.

A British soldier is being questioned for the torture of an Iraqi POW (also something about soldiers performing sex acts near POWs, details unclear at present). How do we know this? Because he took pictures. And had them developed in a shop in Britain. Which called the cops.

What is Bush’s thing with eyes? There was his comment about looking into Putin’s eyes and understanding his soul, or something, and now he says he’s going to the Middle East because “I want [Middle East leaders] to look me in the eye so they can see that I am determined to work to make this happen.” Is it the left eye or the right eye that’s the determined one? To me, they both look vacant.

Reality tv at its finest, in Britain, where the parties are competing to see who can be nastiest about and to seekers of political asylum. Viewers will be invited to vote on particular cases.

There was a major earthquake in Japan. The deputy governor of the affected region has been fired because after hearing the news, he carried on playing a pinball gambling game for 45 minutes. Actually, if it’s the game I think it is, it’s very popular in Japan and takes in huge amounts of money, which go to North Korea.

Pork--the other white blasphemy against Allah

William Saletan on Bush’s continual attempts to conflate the wars on terrorism and Iraq: http://slate.msn.com/id/2082419/
Here’s a paragraph:
But don't tell us this was a triumph in the war on terror, Mr. President. Don't tell us the defeat of a secular dictator has turned the tide against a gang of religious fanatics. And don't talk about patience. You inserted a battle that could have waited into a war that couldn't, precisely because you lacked-or thought we lacked-patience for the slow, diffuse, half-invisible struggle against the people who hit us on Sept. 11. You wanted a quick, clear victory, and you got it. But don't flatter yourself. You haven't changed the world in 19 months. You've only changed the subject.
I agree with all of that except the term “Mr. President.” Even before reading it, I was going to comment on a bit from the Bush speech: “The war on terror is not over; yet it is not endless. We do not know the day of final victory, but...” yadda yadda. The problem is that he is treating the “war on terror” as if it were a traditional war, with a “day of final victory,” but fighting terrorism is at least as much like a police problem, no more winnable than the war on drugs or the war on muggings.

One problem with treating this as a traditional war is that it encourages racist responses. Let’s see if I can explain that. The Bushies are encouraging us to think of terrorists as if they were a nationality, as if they all came from one (evil) place that can be bombed, when they are in fact a dispersed group of people with diverse origins (the Brits are currently trying to figure out how they produced their very first suicide bomber), and diverse ideologies. We’re being encouraged to think of them instead as an ethnic or national group, and the only ethnic group that most of them are is Arab.

I was right about Bush’s visit to the carrier being expensive, but it also kept the sailors from their homes by an extra day, after the longest deployment of a US carrier in 30 years.

Still, it gives The Nation an excuse to talk about Bush’s Texas Air National Guard service, and remind us that we still haven’t seen evidence that he didn’t go AWOL for a year.

The article does miss one of the ways in which it was ensured that Bush would never face action: he was trained on obsolete planes about to go out of service.

The only expression of outrage I’ve seen about the R’s hijacking 9/11 for their 2004 convention. And also for failing to attack Rick “Inner” Santorum.

Labour’s loss of 800 local council seats in yesterday’s elections suggest that an electoral “Baghdad bounce” is more elusive than Bush expects. One can but hope.

US soldiers, who have finally ended their occupation of the school in Fallujah, left an English-language lesson in graffiti--“Eat Shit Iraq,” “I love pork,” etc etc. Did I mention that the locals were sure that the soldiers were using night-vision to check out their women?

The CIA wants new powers to issue demands for information from libraries, internet providers, etc etc in the US (without a warrant, of course).

Former secretary of education and upholder of the nation’s morals William Bennett is evidently a major gambler, having lost something like $8 million in Vegas.

Birmingham, Alabama’s chief of police, the office once held by Bull Connor, is a black woman.

And there is a highly entertaining obituary in the NY Times, of Boston’s last censor, that is not to be missed.

Thursday, May 01, 2003

Let's kill him anyway

Just watched Bush’s little smirk-and-swagger-a-thon, on board a carrier, no less. They’re going to divert the path of the carrier so that Bush can take a helicopter from it to San Diego, so all in all a pretty expensive campaign ad. We should be thankful he didn’t give the speech in the flight suit he was wearing earlier, which I thought was very Michael-Dukakis-in-a-tank, although a middle-aged man in a suit and tie on an aircraft carrier is also pretty silly-looking.

“We have difficult work to do in Iraq,” he said, but then he considers tying his shoes difficult work and has never mastered the pronunciation of nuclear, so perhaps his definition of what constitutes difficult work is not everyone’s. Again he referred to the military as the “highest calling.” In your face, doctors and teachers! He said that Saddam built palaces instead of hospitals and schools. Of course now the hospitals are all looted, and the US military is occupying both the palaces and the schools, and this week shot up a crowd of people who wanted their school back, so possibly that wasn’t the best choice of words. He also tried hard to link the war to terrorism, still without offering any proof of the alliance of Iraq with al Qaida, which he mentioned yet again.

One major goal in Iraq is to rewrite their copyright laws, which only give a maximum of 50 years of protection.

So the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are both “over.” Also, the “no fly zones.” Of course the US always claimed that those were authorized by UN resolutions, so I’m not quite sure how the US can end them all by itself...

I mentioned the US acquiring records on the inhabitants of at least 7 Latin American countries. I hadn’t known that the company the government hired to do this was Choice Point, the same company that Katherine Harris used to purge black “felons” from Florida’s voting rolls. It claims that everything it did was legal, and that it protected itself by putting in its contract with its Mexican sub-contractors that they do nothing illegal. The problem there is that the records they acquired could not be acquired except illegally. On Friday, the Nicaraguan police raided the offices of Choice Point’s sub-contractors there.

In the ongoing comedy that is the only terrorist trial after 9/11, Moussaoui wants John Ashcroft to answer a multiple choice question as to what his actual theory of the case is: 1) 20th hijacker, 2) pilot of a 5th plane, 3) don’t know, 4) let’s kill him anyway. That’s not my joke, it’s Moussaoui’s. Terrific, a terrorist with stand-up comedy aspirations.

Actually, I think Ashcroft’s personal motto is Let’s kill him anyway.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Not spam

My server's anti-spam software has struck again. My last email, dated Tuesday at 8:39 pm, had the subject line “An enlarged prostitute.” This caused the server to add to the subject line a warning that it might be spam. Here’s the funny part: the word that set off the spam detector was not “prostitute,” it was “enlarged,” as in ads for penis/breast enlargement.

So maybe I won’t tell you that scientists have learned how to grow penis tissue in the lab. That’s laboratory, not labrador, and you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Colin Powell’s claim that gunfire was coming from the Palestine Hotel on April 8 was discredited even more thoroughly than I realized: French tv was filming the whole time, and there was no sound of gunfire on the tape.

The Bush admin is asking the Supreme Court not to strike “under God” out of the Pledge of Blind Obedience, saying that the Constitution “does not forbid the government from officially acknowledging the religious heritage, foundation and character of this nation.” What religious foundation and character would those be? I would also note that Bush said earlier in the week (re Iraq) that freedom was a gift from God, and not from, oh, say, institutions created by man. Actually, if you put everything together, Bush is saying that freedom was a gift from God to the United States, and that freedom in places like Iraq is a gift from the US. Although Rumsfeld has emphatically ruled out Iraq ever being ruled by government that acknowledges the “religious heritage, foundation and character” of Iraq.

As expected, on Thursday Bush will declare victory. The Independent headline: “The War is Over (Except for Iraq).” And especially, except for Fallajuh, where US troops shot dead 2 more people today, who were protesting the killing of 13 or so protesters yesterday. Once again, no American soldiers were even injured. I forget, why was Saddam bad? Something about oppressing the people. The fake mayor of Baghdad, the US says, will be held for a very long time, without trial of course.

Bush has chosen a civilian administrator for Iraq, one L. Paul Bremer, former head of the State Dept’s counterterrorism office (and then in Kissinger Associates). In other words, someone whose qualifications have nothing to do with rebuilding Iraq and everything to do with the US’s interest in neutering Iraq.

Rummy is in Iraq. He broadcast to the Iraqi people, telling them all about his grandchildren (really). He said that there is more food, water and electricity in Iraq than under Saddam--remarks which would have pissed Iraqis off, had any of them had electricity with which to view the broadcast. He called for them to provide information on “foreign fighters,” who are there “seeking to hijack your country for their own purpose.” Whenever an American talks about foreign interference, I’m reminded of my stay in Cambridge in 1983. After a couple of weeks, a lot of us Americans were complaining about those noisy foreigners (i.e., Italians and Germans).

He is visiting the country for the first time since 1984, when he went to sell a pipeline to Saddam. And here’s a story about Rummy being on the board of a company that won the contract to build nuclear reactors for North Korea. Astonishingly, at the same time, he was chairing the “Rumsfeld Commission” on missile threats to the US, which concluded that NK could strike the US within 5 years (this was in, uh oh, 1998) and that it was using those reactors to build nukes. Why don’t we just find out which countries he did business with, and bomb them all?

You may remember that the BBC had Brits vote on the Top 10 Britons of all time, with Churchill beating out Shakespeare as top bulldog. The Germans will do this next, but their options will be circumscribed: Steffi Graf yes, Adolf Hitler no.

I said again recently that the Russians lied about the number killed in the theater siege. Sure enough, at least 40 more are dead. And some of the survivors are not at all well.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

An enlarged prostitute

Heard a story on NPR that hasn’t made the papers: the US, working through a private company, has bought up voter registration information in a number of Latin American countries, including Mexico, Nicaragua and Colombia. Which aren’t supposed to be sold in the first place. The INS and Justice now hold lists that include addresses, phone numbers and dates of birth.

I’ve really got to get one of those tv’s with closed captioning. Last week ABC News’s closed captioning said that Alan Greenspan was in the hospital for an enlarged prostitute. I understand that’s a problem with older men, and can be very painful.

To combat SARS, the respiratory illness so dangerous that it is both serious *and* acute, Beijing has closed all schools, libraries and most hospitals. So just like California under the next budget, then. Also theaters, movies, karoake. So just like the Taliban, then.

As of this writing, it is not clear whether anyone in the crowd of Falluja protesters actually fired at the school taken over by US soldiers (what is it with all the occupations of kiddie parks and schools, anyway?). I’ve seen reports which say there are bullet holes in the school, and reports which say there are none. Quite possibly shots were only fired into the air, in the moronic but traditional custom of celebrating Saddam’s birthday (have a happy, Saddam!). What is clear is that there are scores of bullet holes in buildings opposite the school, because US soldiers fired on a crowd consisting largely of children and teenagers, with machine-guns. 15 dead by the latest count, countless wounded. The American version would be strengthened if a single soldier had a single bullet wound, but nope. They are pulling out of the school, though.

Similarly, the US is going to pull its bases out of Saudi Arabia and use Qatar instead, which leaves the burning question, do even the Qataris know how to pronounce Qatar, or do they just pretend to cough every time they have to say the name of their country aloud? Anyway, it took a year and a half after 9/11, but Osama bin Laden has finally won the most important of his goals, getting US troops away from the holy sites. Obviously the plan was pretty darned subtle.

“Jerry Springer--The Opera,” premieres in London.

The Supreme Court refuses to hear a challenge to S Carolina’s dangerous licensing laws for abortion clinics, including full access by the government to patient records, and requiring the presence of a member of the clergy. I mean, how could that last possibly be constitutional? Who is the government to say who is or who is not a member of the clergy? The mere requirement amounts to saying that some people are closer to God, if there were a God, than others, which besides going against the principles of half the major religions, including Buddhism, Islam and Judaism, entails government licensing of the clergy. The state of SC said the clergy requirement was “sensible” because “the fact that to many female believers, the potential impact of the abortion transcends secular psychology and may well have ramifications for her ‘immortal soul.’” Oh, ok, because until I saw that I was thinking it was none of the state’s business.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

But is it art? Actually, who cares, as long as there are naked people

Clarification: when I said that HIV-positive men can father children, I of course meant through IVF, after a “cleaning” process. So don’t try this at home.

The Pentagon decides its troops know everything about keeping the peace that they need to know, and will close down the Peacekeeping Institute at the US Army War College.

In the Independent, “Revealed: How the road to war was paved with lies.” Pretty much what it sounds like.

Follow-up: Hamburg, NY has declined to change its name. Turns out Hamburg is where the hamburger was born, in 1885. The PETA guy says that veggie burgers are a nutritious alternative and animals don’t have to suffer. Unless you count humans as animals, and humans are the ones expected to eat the wretched things.

I’m told by a recipient of this list who can read Norwegian that that amusement park had no children in it when the US soldiers ran the naked looters through it, because it is occupied by the US military, which is using it to store weapons. And that way there are no lines for the rides. No kids, but there certainly were photographers, weren’t there? The article also explains that Iraqis find public nudity very humiliating, something which Norwegians, who enjoy being naked in public, might need explained to them, my informant points out.

Norway’s equality chief (who should start with her own job title) has urged a change in crosswalk signs to more gender-neutral stick figures. Norway’s current signs feature a man in a hat (or possibly a lesbian). No word in the Agence France-Presse story about whether the figure wears anything besides a hat.

You know, somewhere there must be a website devoted to crosswalk figures throughout the world. It might even be fun. I remember noticing that the figure in West German signals walked a lot faster than the one in East Germany.

The Day the Fake Laughter Died: Charles Douglass, inventor of the laugh track, has died.

Attorney Gen Ashcroft “rules” that illegal immigrants who aren’t criminals or terrorists or anything can be detained indefinitely, without any investigation to determine whether the individual poses any sort of threat. The case was of a Haitian, and the reason Ashcroft gives for imprisoning him is that releasing him would encourage other Haitians to come which would strain “homeland security resources.” In other words, imprison an innocent man indefinitely purely to send a message to others. How many concentration camps does this country now run, in which people are incarcerated without any legal process?

Shrub gives an interview to NBC, which I did not watch. The NY Times says it “provided rare access to the president’s thinking.” The horror, the horror.

Here’s the “president’s” thinking on the Dixie Chicks: “They can say what they want to say. And just because--they shouldn’t have their feelings hurt just because some people don’t want to buy their records when they speak out. You know, freedom is a two-way street.” True as far as it goes, but the--here come those quote marks again--“president of the United States” just endorsed a boycott of artists who speak out against his policies.

And a reminder of other blacklist activities: Martin Sheen seems to have survived the impeachment campaign against him, but he did lose a car commercial, and Janeane Garofalo, who was supposed to have a sitcom in the fall, no longer does.

Bush said that "on bended knee to the good Lord, I asked Him to help me to do my job in a way that's wise". So that would be a “no,” then.

US troops from the 422nd Irony Battalion arrest the self-proclaimed mayor of Baghdad for “exercising authority which was not his.” Those exercising authority which evidently is theirs include the so-called technocrats, the Iraqi exiles just flown in. Most of them refuse to be identified by name, because they don’t want to be killed.

Bush’s little exploitative gesture of holding the R. convention in September 2004 puts it past the deadline to be on the ballot in several states, including California, heh heh heh.

Talks over Northern Ireland, conducted entirely through the media as near as I can figure it, are still going on, with the British and (for once) the Irish governments trying to get the IRA to say that the war is over. Jeez, how hard is that, Putin has declared the war in Chechnya over half a dozen times, Bush is supposed to declare Gulf War II over this Thursday, and nobody expects that to stop us killing Iraqis. I think Gerry Adams’s statements have been as clear as anyone could expect on the subject, but they keep demanding more clarifications, which will never be enough for David Trimble. Anyway, the Northern Ireland Assembly is still suspended, which may mean that the elections scheduled for a month from now may occur, even though they will be to a body that doesn’t actually technically exist. “Vote for me, I won’t do anything.” Pretty appealing, actually.

Bush says he would invite the new Palestinian prime minister to the White House “one of these days,” but only if he wasn’t in the company of Arafat (who was actually elected to office, unlike Mr. Abbas, or indeed Bush). The thing is, that statement is pure posturing. Arafat is under house arrest, still, and if he left the country, the Israelis would refuse to let him back in. Today, Abbas said that he will refuse to go to Washington, or anywhere else, until Arafat’s freedom of movement is restored.

US forces in Iraq seize the six of clubs. Not a person, just the six of clubs.

A children’s hospital in Iasi, Romania has decided that it no longer has enough money to pay for dialysis, and so will let children with kidney failure die. What it does have money for is new armed guards to keep journalists out of the hospital.

The pope, as ever working for religious intolerance, is to make a saint of a friar who worked to keep Turks out of Europe. And in the process invented cappuccino.

From the Daily Telegraph. There is a picture in the story. I have appended a picture from the guy’s website. There is also a piece by the paper’s art critic, who participated in the piece.

Friday, April 25, 2003

If my liver makes people talk about the issues then some good will come of it

I bought a package of chicken breasts from Safeway, and found there was also what appeared to be a tentacle.

This is a Norwegian newspaper. The picture at the top is of American soldiers with some Iraqi thieves they have caught, and decided to punish by burning their clothes, writing “Ali Baba--thief” on one, and marching them naked through a park. Which looks an awful lot like a kiddie park, so you can see why marching naked men through it seemed like a good idea. (This story does not seem to run in either the NY Times or the WashPost, although a couple of British papers have it--par for the course. Only the Norwegians have pics.)

Colin Powell writes to the Spanish foreign minister defending the soldiers who shot up the Palestine Hotel in Baghdad, killing among others a Spanish cameraman. He repeats the story that they were responding to fire from the hotel, which was categorically discredited more than two weeks ago. But then this is the man who first investigated My Lai and claimed nothing happened.

Headline: “Dixie Chick Regrets Choice of Words.” Which word? Dixie, or chick?

Bush finally comes out in defense of Rick Santorum several days after Senator Sanctimonious made his original homophobic remarks. Meaning that like with Trent Lott’s racist remarks a few months ago, he decided to wait until he found out whether there’d be political fallout, and in this case decided that there wasn’t. The weather vane has spoken: gay-bashing is officially acceptable. As long as it’s “inclusive,” I guess. Here’s an exchange from a Friday press conference:
Reporter: What's the president's beliefs about homosexuality?

Ari Fleischer: You know, that's a question that's been put to the president, and if you go back and you look at it, the president has said that, first of all, he doesn't ask that question about people. He judges people about who they are, their individual soul. That's not a matter the president concerns himself with. He judges people for how they act and how they relate, and that's his focus on that.
As to whether private sexual acts should be illegal, Fleischer said that he couldn’t comment about matters before the Supreme Court. (Remember that the court case is from Texas, from when Bush was governor).

The US (motto: do as we say, not as we do) has accused N Korea of blackmail. And prepares to retaliate against France for not doing exactly what we wanted. Actually, the only use to which nuclear weapons have ever been put (since August 9, 1945, anyway) is blackmail. That’s what they’re for.

The US is also blaming Iran for stirring up the Shiites in Iraq against America. You don’t think all those bombs might have something to do with why they aren’t all that thrilled with us?

Another questionable miracle of modern medical science: it is now possible for men with HIV to safely father children (because the virus is carried in the semen, not the sperm).

The president of PETA has willed that after death her body be barbecued, except her feet, which will be cut off to make umbrella stands, her skin, which will be turned into leather products, her liver sent to France, because “If my liver makes people talk about the issues then some good will come of it.” Oh, and some part of her heart buried near the Formula One track in Germany. That one’s not a protest, she just likes car racing.

In South Wales, a man in court for sending offensive emails to a company which wouldn’t hire him, produces a character reference from the pope. Which was fake. (“Papal Bull,” the Daily Telegraph headline read)

A rather impressive suicide. A builder constructed this elaborate thing involving a timer, a jigsaw cutter and a guillotine. It took three months. To build I mean, not three months to cut off his head.

Thursday, April 24, 2003

One thing's for certain...

Bush says, “One thing's for certain, Saddam Hussein no longer threatens America with weapons of mass destruction.” Certain, except for the fact that we don’t know where either Hussein or the weapons actually are.

More Bush logic: “Some in Congress say the plan is too big. Well, it seems like to me they might have some explaining to do. If they agree that tax relief creates jobs, then why are they for a little bitty tax relief package?” So if we eliminated taxes altogether....

Actually, he’s used that type of argument before. On Iraq, in March: “These governments share our assessment of the danger, but not our resolve to meet it.” Basically, if you show any willingness to compromise with Bush, he claims you accept all his premises and are therefore a hypocrite for not following him 100%.

Card #11 was captured today (well, turned himself in, as most of them have--we’re just not very good at finding stuff or people in Iraq). Leaving the question, where are all these prisoners disappearing to?

One place they’re not going is the witness box. The Justice Department is trying to deny Zacarias Moussaoui the right to question an Al Qaeda leader in US custody. Justice is saying that intelligence-gathering comes above, well, justice. OK, it’s actually fine for the government to decide that, but in that case it doesn’t get to have both, and Moussaoui should be free to go.

Some peace activists allege that they’ve mysteriously wound up on the FAA “do not fly” list, a list which is supposed to be for terrorists, not pacifists, and certainly not people who just happen to be critics of Bush.

The talks with North Korea are going well. Really. Remember how the talks to end the Korean War went on and on and on, taking months just to decide the shape of the table? Well here at the very first meeting, the N Korean delegate says, yeah we have nuclear weapons, we may test them, we may use them, we may sell them, and then said, and this is evidently a quote, What are you going to do about it? Now that’s rapid progress!

You’ll remember a Florida law insisting that women giving up babies for adoption recite their sexual histories for the court. This just got struck down.