Bush press conference: People would rather not aggressively pursue people overseas

Amongst the other Democratic cave-ins, you may have missed one that got lost in the shuffle: they gave up on an attempt to ban federal aid to overseas family planning programs that include abortions.

Many of the presidential candidates aspire in their fundraising emails to a certain faux-folksiness. One sent out today, signed by Barack Obama personally, began with the salutation, “Hey –”. Is for horses, Senator Obama, is for horses.

Bush held a press conference today.

DOESN’T KNOW WHAT “MOMENT” MEANS: “I think recent days have been a moment that the country can be proud of.”

DUDE, ANY YEAR IN WHICH YOU “GOVERN” IS, BY DEFINITION, A PRETTY GODDAMNED ODD YEAR: “The American people did not elect us to govern in odd years, and campaign in even years.”


ORDINARY NON-RENDITION: About the CIA’s destruction of the torture tapes: “Until these inquiries are complete, until the oversight’s finished, then I will be rendering no opinion from podium.” Until the oversight’s finished? I’m waiting for it to fucking start.

When a politician starts talking about their recollection, we all know what it means: “It sounds pretty clear to me when I say I have -- the first recollection is when Mike Hayden briefed me.” Not even my first recollection (of when he heard about the destruction of the tapes), but the first recollection. He’s distancing himself from his own memory.



THAT’S MY HOPES: “My hope, of course, is that Russia is a country which understands there needs to be checks and balances, and free and fair elections, and a vibrant press; that they understand Western values based upon human rights and human dignity are values that will lead to a better country. That’s my hopes.” Notice how he defines “values based upon human rights and human dignity” as “Western” values.

IN OTHER WORDS, AND STUFF GEORGE FINDS “INTERESTING”: “What will be interesting next year is how the Russian President carries on his business -- the new Russian President. In other words, we’ll be together probably a couple of times next year, and it will be interesting to see how foreign policy is conducted and what the role of President Putin may be or not be.”

“Interesting” has returned as Bush’s one-size-fits-all adjective. He used it 9 times in 48 minutes.


THE PROCESS: “You know, I don’t view -- I just don’t view life as zero-sum. I think all of us deserve credit for getting some things done. The president constantly has to make sure that the executive branch is involved in the process, and one way is to -- is to use the veto.” So he wants credit for getting some things done, like using the veto to prevent getting some things done.


HE TRIES TO MAKE IT LESS THAT WAY: “I know we live in an environment here in Washington where -- I’m not saying you try to stir this up, but sometimes it’s beneficial to constantly harp on, well, they don’t get along here, or maybe they can’t agree here, it’s so-and-so versus so-and-so -- it’s an antagonistic world from some people’s point of view. I try to make it less that way and to focus on high priorities.”

WHATTA WE GOT? “And we got a lot of priorities for next year.”

LEAVE NO CHILD STRENGTHENED: “I spoke to Senator Kennedy on this issue, and Congressman Miller and Senator Enzi and Congressman Boehner about how to strengthen No Child.”


Asked about the presidential race, he came out in favor of candidates being consistent and having principles. Which winnows down the field just a little bit. Another important question he would ask candidates: “who are you going to surround yourself”. “And so my question would be, how do you intend to set up your Oval Office so that people will come in and give their advice?” I’m guessing some sort of a, you know, door?


Asked about the announced review of the strategy in Afghanistan, it turns out it isn’t actually about reviewing strategy, but about “assuring” people and making them “realize” things: “Part of the review is to -- is to assess how best to make sure our coalition partners realize there is a coherent strategy of which they are an integral part, all aiming to make sure that there is a presence that will assure the Afghan government and the Afghan people that people will be trying to help them with their security.”

IN OTHER WORDS, IS LIFE CHANGING BETTER?: “The question, of course, is, just like in Iraq, is there a follow-up to the security gains? In other words, is life changing better for the average citizen? That’s the question that we all got to be looking at. Unity governments are important, but does the average citizen realize that a free society is in his or her interest.”

VISITING ON THE SVTS: “And I visited with President Karzai on the SVTS [Secure Video Teleconference System] the other day, and it’s a question I basically asked him. I said, we were successful militarily, what’s happened in your country that you can point to that indicates that you’re taking advantage of better security in certain places? And he pointed out some interesting things. He talked about the, I think it’s 5 million children now going to school. It was an interesting measurement for him. He says, I believe we’re taking advantage of the security because more of our children are getting educated.” So NATO is now one giant group of crossing guards?

ALL OF A SUDDEN: “And now, all of a sudden, he [Karzai] talks about an expanding health care system and the infant mortality rate dropping. He talks about the roads that are being built so that the average citizen there can get their [ahem] crops to market.”

GEORGE, WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST CONCERN? “Any my biggest concern is that people say, well, we’re kind of tired of Afghanistan, therefore we think we’re going to leave. That would be my biggest concern.”


STRAW MAN ALERT! STRAW MAN ALERT! “I believe if people are given a chance to be free, they will do so. Now, I understand some don’t believe that. It’s kind of like we’re the only ones that can be free; it’s kind of the ultimate isolationism, isn’t it?” No, it isn’t.

WHATTA WE GOT? On why he thinks the economy is strong: “we got flexible workplace”.

I KNOW I’M CONCERNED: “I know Americans are concerned about whether or not their neighbor may stay in their house.”


WHY THE BEST THING FOR THE ENVIRONMENT IS FOR AMERICANS TO BE RICH. REALLY REALLY RICH.: “See, it is hard to develop the technologies necessary to be able to make sure our standard of living remains strong and deal with greenhouse gases if you’re broke. If you don’t have any money, it is really hard to develop new technologies. And so we need to be prosperous for a lot of reasons, primarily so our citizens can have a good life; but also so that we’re wealthy enough to make the investments necessary to deal with greenhouse gases.”

GEORGE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT “ADVENT” MEANS: “I am -- to me, I am amazed that our country isn’t more robust in supporting the advent of nuclear power.” Because we don’t want to be robustly glowing in the dark?


WHAT GEORGE UNDERSTANDS: “And there’s isolationist tendencies in this world. People would rather stay at home. People would rather not aggressively pursue people overseas, and aggressively pursue freedom. I understand that.”

WHAT GEORGE IS NOT SURPRISED BY: “I’m not surprised we get criticized on a variety of fronts. And – on the other hand, most people like to come to our country, and most people love what America stands for. And so, it’s like I say about the presidency, people in America like the presidency and sometime they like the President. Get it?” I think so. You’re saying that most people like America but Americans, not so much.

WHEREIN BUSH SAVES THE TREASURY THE COST OF A LONG-DISTANCE PHONE CALL: “my patience ran out on President Assad a long time ago. And the reason why is, is because he houses Hamas, he facilitates Hezbollah, suiciders go from his country to Iraq, and he destabilizes Lebanon. And so, if he’s listening, he doesn’t need a phone call. He knows exactly what my position is.”


WHAT GEORGE DOES DURING HIS PREZNITZY: “That’s what I do during my presidency. I go around spreading goodwill and talking about the importance of spreading freedom and peace.” That’s a lot of spreading.

HAS THEY: “Pro-growth economic policies has worked.”

No one asked a question about the Turkish bombings and incursions into Iraq.

It’s a wonder what takes place here

Today Bush signed the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, because, he said, dependence on oil “contributes to greenhouse gas admissions.” He’s admitting it now? Usually he just sniffs theatrically and looks accusingly at China.


Unlike Fred Thompson, who is still making a big deal about not raising his hand at the debate when asked if he believed in global warming, as if he took some great courageous moral stand. On Hannity and Colmes today (in a bit which was immediately emailed out by his campaign), he said he won’t raise his hand until Chief Justice Roberts swears him in. ‘Cuz hand-raising plum tuckers him out. If elected, he’ll take more vacations than Reagan and Bush put together.

Bit of excitement at the Eisenhower Executive Office Buildings this morning, as a fire broke out while Cheney was burning the videotapes of CIA torture sessions he kept in his man-sized safe to view during, ahem, “sessions” of his own.


In the afternoon, Chimpy went over to Bethesda. “It’s an honor to see the troops who have been wounded,” he said. Well, then it’s all been worth while. “But our citizens should never question whether or not the nurses and docs and caregivers are giving it their all in a professional way. They’re saving lives, and they’re healing hearts at the same time. And so it’s a -- it’s a wonder what takes place here”. Just aaalllll worth while.

Hey, stop calling Bush “Chimpy” already! We in the ape community take umbrage at that! Umbrage I say, sir! Good day to you, sir!

Tested. Ready. Now.

2-minute Giuliani ad. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll vomit in your own mouth. Not necessarily in that order.



His new motto: “Tested. Ready. Now.” I’m not sure if they’re intentionally invoking Nixon’s “Tanned, rested and ready,” and if so, why.

From the WaPo, making anti-American lemonade from anti-American lemons:

Iraqis of all sectarian and ethnic groups believe that the U.S. military invasion is the primary root of the violent differences among them, and see the departure of “occupying forces” as the key to national reconciliation, according to focus groups conducted for the U.S. military last month.

That is good news, according to a military analysis of the results. At the very least, analysts optimistically concluded, the findings indicate that Iraqis hold some “shared beliefs” that may eventually allow them to surmount the divisions that have led to a civil war.

And Iraqi complaints about matters other than security are seen as progress. Early this year, Maj. Fred Garcia, an MNF-I analyst, said that “a very large percentage of people would answer questions about security by saying ‘I don’t know.’ Now, we get more griping because people feel freer.”

Freedom, ain’t it grand.

AFP photo of George Bush, through the magic of Christmas-Tree-o-Vision.

The Little Sisters of the Poor Meet the Big Doofus of the Rich

Today Bush visited a Little Sisters of the Poor home for the elderly and talked about volunteerism. Between the little sisters and the little old people, this gave him many opportunities to bend down.


Said Bush, “And that’s one of the messages of the Christmas season, that I hope our fellow citizens...” Wait a minute, one of the messages of Christmas is about him and what he hopes? “...that I hope our fellow citizens reach out and find a neighbor in need, find out somebody who needs a loving pat on the back...” Although George tried that yesterday with Cheney, and the results were not pretty. “...or an elderly citizen who wants to know that somebody cares for them. It doesn’t take much effort” and then you’re done “caring” for another year.


“As I worked the tables I was most thankful that people here said that they pray for our troops”. Say, George, when you’re talking up the “universal call to love a neighbor just like you’d like to be loved yourself,” is “I worked the tables” really how you want to describe it?


Then they all whipped out their rulers. The results were not pretty. And then they brought out the ultimate instrument of punishment:

We’re helping them stay in a part of the American Dream is what we’re doing

Today Bush spoke about the economy to the Rotary Club of North Fredericksburg, Virginia, which is evidently “out in the country.” “People say, they’re probably wondering why would -- old George W. has got something important to say, why would he bother to come to a place out in the country?” Evidently it’s where jobs are created. And it’s “where dreams are lived,” which probably explains why all the Rotarians were in their underwear.


IN OTHER WORDS: He said that the economy doesn’t suck and that “productivity is high, in other words, our economy is becoming more productive as a result of the advent of new technologies.”

A FUTURE-TENSE IN OTHER WORDS, IN WHICH GEORGE IN OTHER WORDSes WORDS HE HASN’T EVEN USED YET: “In other words, what I’m about to tell you is, is that the Congress cannot take economic vitality for granted.”

IN OTHER WORDS, GEORGE HAS BEEN BREATHING IN THOSE JET FUMES AGAIN: “If the Congress can’t get the job done -- in other words, those jet fumes will start to be moving out pretty soon here, later on this week...”

TALKING ABOUT THE MORTGAGE CRISIS, GEORGE UNLEASHES SOME OF THE LINGO HE LEARNED AT MBA SCHOOL: “some people bought a house that they shouldn’t have been in the market... there are speculators who thought they could get -- buy nice, one of these reset mortgages and flip it, make some money” (from the old adage, buy nice, sell nasty). “But there are some people that are creditworthy that should be encouraged to stay in their homes.” We could throw rocks at them whenever they open their front door, or we could nail it shut or, oo, tigers. “[T]he bank doesn’t loan [sic] the mortgage anymore, the local lending institute doesn’t loan [sic] the mortgage anymore... And so some lenders [sic] aren’t sure where to turn.” Those sics were put in by some cheeky upstart at the White House who probably doesn’t even have a Harvard MBA.



REFINANCING THEIR MONEY: “We’re not bailing people out -- we’re helping them refinance their money, we’re helping them, you know -- we’re helping them stay in a part of the American Dream is what we’re doing, and it’s worthwhile to do that.”

The Treasury Dept, through a program amusingly called HOPE NOW, will “help people understand what is possible when it comes to finance and recourse and stay in your house.”

TO SUM UP: “And so I just want to let you know we got a strategy.” Color me reassured.

THIS COULD BE MISINTERPRETED: “And one of the things that Secretary Leavitt is doing is saying that if you’re interfacing with the federal government, then you got to post your price.”

WHAT THERE NEEDS TO BE: “there needs to be products like health savings accounts expanded.”

LOOK HOW I EDIT SOME WORDS OUT AND USE AN ELLIPSIS TO MAKE THIS BIT SOUND DIRTY: “We have an OB/GYN crisis in America... And they get sick of it, and say, I’m out of here.”

HE UNDERSTANDS THAT: “On electricity, there’s a lot of talk about electricity -- I understand that”.

BUT DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THIS: “So I can’t tell you why people aren’t for refinery expansion. I’m just telling you they ought to be.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “That’s why I’m against raising the gasoline tax. In other words -- we need to raise the gasoline tax.”


WHAT THE PRESIDENT’S JOB IS: “The President’s job is to think strategically for the country and help get fiscal sanity into the process.”

IN OTHER WORDS THAT SOUND KINDA DIRTY WITHOUT ANY EDITING ON MY PART: “Automobile -- I just told you that we’re going to become more efficient with our automobile -- we’re raising our fuel efficiency standards. In other words, cars and new technology and electricity are going to change how often people go to the pump.”

AN AMAZING, DEATH-DEFYING, DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “And if you happen to go to a user fee system [toll roads], one of the interesting things that are being used is differential pricing. In other words, you pay a different price depending upon the day you drive; in other words, a market-oriented system.” Time of day, idiot, not the day itself. Also, it’s only a market-oriented system for those people who have alternatives.


WAIT, IT WAS ACTUALLY A TRIPLE IN OTHER WORDS!: “In other words, what I’m telling you is the funding system is antiquated relative to the challenges we’re going to be facing.”

In the Q&A, Bush gently corrects a questioner:

Q: But I’m concerned about the nations like Iraq, who now have nuclear weapons --

BUSH: Iran.

Q: Iran and Iraq both.

BUSH: Not Iraq.

STOP YOUR ENRICHMENT!: “That program is still active, in spite of the fact that most of the world has said to the Iranians, stop your enrichment.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “The ability to weaponize that material -- in other words, to make it into something that explodes -- that part of the program is what the intelligence people thought was ongoing at one time and suspended.” Ongoing and suspended? Is that like a Zen thing?

WHAT’S TO SAY? REALLY, WHAT’S TO SAY?: “If somebody had them a weapons program, what’s to say they couldn’t start it up tomorrow?”

IF YOU GIVE A MAN A NUCLEAR FISH: “Interestingly enough, today Russia sent some enriched -- or in the process of sending enriched uranium to Iran to help on their civilian nuclear reactor. If that’s the case, if the Russians are willing to do that -- which I support -- then the Iranians do not need to learn how to enrich.”

He says that this week he will be visiting Walter Reed and Bethesda “to tell those troops we love them”. Awwww.

ALL OF A SUDDEN: “People start showing up demanding ethanol, and all of a sudden somebody figures out how to supply it.”

It’s not more important than friendship

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia has generously pardoned the gang-rape victim sentenced to six months and 200 lashes. See, women in Saudi Arabia don’t have it so bad after all.

Holy Joe Lieberman, wearing a Christmas-y sweater, has endorsed John McCain, thus making his election well nigh inevitable.


Sez His Holiness, “Political party is important...” The Connecticut for Lieberman Party? “...but it’s not more important than what’s good for the country and it’s not more important than friendship.” Awww, fwendship. Because it’s all about you, Joe, and who’s nice to you.

McCain: Say, you really are circumcised.
Lieberman is pretending that he might have endorsed a Democrat – because he’s an independent, you know – but none of them asked him.

Reached for comment, Al Gore just sighed and rolled his eyes.

I believe a CONTEST is called for: what position should Holy Joe get in a McCain administration? And don’t all say “fluffer.”

You can look inside my mouth if you want

Although Israel’s Wall has annexed the land of many Palestinians to Jerusalem and thus to Israel, Israel has decided
not to give the residents of that land Israeli residency rights such as the right to work in Israel. Charming.

I’m so glad our presidential candidates are selected in Iowa. Today Hillary Clinton campaigned in a cattle barn in which auctions are normally held, saying she felt like she was being bid on and “I know you’re going to inspect me. You can look inside my mouth if you want.” So now we can all have that image in our heads.

Romney on God and abortion and his irrational fear of the color pink

On Meet the Press, Twitt Romney explained that his “freedom requires religion” line wasn’t really him, it was actually a paraphrase of John Adams and maybe George Washington as well. This is what happens when our upper classes no longer read Latin and Greek: Romney has mistaken the Founders’ classics-inspired discussion of the role of virtu in a republic for an endorsement of the Christian religion. Sez Twitt: “We, we believe, as a nation, from the founding of this nation, that God gave the individual certain inalienable rights.” Shorter Twitt: America believes in God.

He did admit that “on an individual basis, you have many individuals of great morality and--that, that don’t have any particular faith.” Two things about that sentence: 1) he describes atheists as if they just hadn’t yet chosen from among the many fine branches of Christianity available to them. 2) Note his repetition of the word individual: he’s prepared to tolerate some people not having any particular faith, but they are to be considered mere isolated individuals; collectively, he defines Americans as a God-bothering people.

He says he heard the decision letting blacks be full members of the Mormon church on his car radio when he was 31 (he doesn’t say if his dog was tied to the roof at the time), and had to pull over to weep. Russert fails to ask why, if the church’s previous racist policy was so repugnant to him, he never did a damned thing to change it or protest in any way.

His mother ran for the Senate in 1970? How did I not know that?

On his flip flop on abortion, he says “I was always personally opposed to abortion, as I think almost everyone in this nation is.” No, “almost everyone” is not.

Says Huckabee’s criticism of Bush’s foreign policy as arrogant and exhibiting a bunker mentality “went over the line” and he should apologize.

For some reason, it was very important to him to deny a report that his house is pink.

2007 in pictures

It’s time for the annual selection of the pictures that defined 2007, as far as this blog was concerned. And if those pictures were, as in previous years, mostly pictures of George Bush looking goofy, that’s something we’ll all just have to live with.