Monday, December 17, 2007

We’re helping them stay in a part of the American Dream is what we’re doing

Today Bush spoke about the economy to the Rotary Club of North Fredericksburg, Virginia, which is evidently “out in the country.” “People say, they’re probably wondering why would -- old George W. has got something important to say, why would he bother to come to a place out in the country?” Evidently it’s where jobs are created. And it’s “where dreams are lived,” which probably explains why all the Rotarians were in their underwear.

IN OTHER WORDS: He said that the economy doesn’t suck and that “productivity is high, in other words, our economy is becoming more productive as a result of the advent of new technologies.”

A FUTURE-TENSE IN OTHER WORDS, IN WHICH GEORGE IN OTHER WORDSes WORDS HE HASN’T EVEN USED YET: “In other words, what I’m about to tell you is, is that the Congress cannot take economic vitality for granted.”

IN OTHER WORDS, GEORGE HAS BEEN BREATHING IN THOSE JET FUMES AGAIN: “If the Congress can’t get the job done -- in other words, those jet fumes will start to be moving out pretty soon here, later on this week...”

TALKING ABOUT THE MORTGAGE CRISIS, GEORGE UNLEASHES SOME OF THE LINGO HE LEARNED AT MBA SCHOOL: “some people bought a house that they shouldn’t have been in the market... there are speculators who thought they could get -- buy nice, one of these reset mortgages and flip it, make some money” (from the old adage, buy nice, sell nasty). “But there are some people that are creditworthy that should be encouraged to stay in their homes.” We could throw rocks at them whenever they open their front door, or we could nail it shut or, oo, tigers. “[T]he bank doesn’t loan [sic] the mortgage anymore, the local lending institute doesn’t loan [sic] the mortgage anymore... And so some lenders [sic] aren’t sure where to turn.” Those sics were put in by some cheeky upstart at the White House who probably doesn’t even have a Harvard MBA.

REFINANCING THEIR MONEY: “We’re not bailing people out -- we’re helping them refinance their money, we’re helping them, you know -- we’re helping them stay in a part of the American Dream is what we’re doing, and it’s worthwhile to do that.”

The Treasury Dept, through a program amusingly called HOPE NOW, will “help people understand what is possible when it comes to finance and recourse and stay in your house.”

TO SUM UP: “And so I just want to let you know we got a strategy.” Color me reassured.

THIS COULD BE MISINTERPRETED: “And one of the things that Secretary Leavitt is doing is saying that if you’re interfacing with the federal government, then you got to post your price.”

WHAT THERE NEEDS TO BE: “there needs to be products like health savings accounts expanded.”

LOOK HOW I EDIT SOME WORDS OUT AND USE AN ELLIPSIS TO MAKE THIS BIT SOUND DIRTY: “We have an OB/GYN crisis in America... And they get sick of it, and say, I’m out of here.”

HE UNDERSTANDS THAT: “On electricity, there’s a lot of talk about electricity -- I understand that”.

BUT DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THIS: “So I can’t tell you why people aren’t for refinery expansion. I’m just telling you they ought to be.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “That’s why I’m against raising the gasoline tax. In other words -- we need to raise the gasoline tax.”

WHAT THE PRESIDENT’S JOB IS: “The President’s job is to think strategically for the country and help get fiscal sanity into the process.”

IN OTHER WORDS THAT SOUND KINDA DIRTY WITHOUT ANY EDITING ON MY PART: “Automobile -- I just told you that we’re going to become more efficient with our automobile -- we’re raising our fuel efficiency standards. In other words, cars and new technology and electricity are going to change how often people go to the pump.”

AN AMAZING, DEATH-DEFYING, DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “And if you happen to go to a user fee system [toll roads], one of the interesting things that are being used is differential pricing. In other words, you pay a different price depending upon the day you drive; in other words, a market-oriented system.” Time of day, idiot, not the day itself. Also, it’s only a market-oriented system for those people who have alternatives.

WAIT, IT WAS ACTUALLY A TRIPLE IN OTHER WORDS!: “In other words, what I’m telling you is the funding system is antiquated relative to the challenges we’re going to be facing.”

In the Q&A, Bush gently corrects a questioner:
Q: But I’m concerned about the nations like Iraq, who now have nuclear weapons --

BUSH: Iran.

Q: Iran and Iraq both.

BUSH: Not Iraq.
STOP YOUR ENRICHMENT!: “That program is still active, in spite of the fact that most of the world has said to the Iranians, stop your enrichment.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “The ability to weaponize that material -- in other words, to make it into something that explodes -- that part of the program is what the intelligence people thought was ongoing at one time and suspended.” Ongoing and suspended? Is that like a Zen thing?

WHAT’S TO SAY? REALLY, WHAT’S TO SAY?: “If somebody had them a weapons program, what’s to say they couldn’t start it up tomorrow?”

IF YOU GIVE A MAN A NUCLEAR FISH: “Interestingly enough, today Russia sent some enriched -- or in the process of sending enriched uranium to Iran to help on their civilian nuclear reactor. If that’s the case, if the Russians are willing to do that -- which I support -- then the Iranians do not need to learn how to enrich.”

He says that this week he will be visiting Walter Reed and Bethesda “to tell those troops we love them”. Awwww.

ALL OF A SUDDEN: “People start showing up demanding ethanol, and all of a sudden somebody figures out how to supply it.”

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