Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The culture of being outdoors

I’ve seen several headlines along the lines of “San Francisco Zoo Baffled by Tiger’s Escape.” Well, since they haven’t found any welding equipment, grappling hooks or lock picks, I’m going to venture a guess that Tatiana climbed and/or jumped out.

Amsterdam police are protesting a new rule that they not use cannabis whilst off-duty. Says the chairman of the police union, “Police should not be put in pigeonholes in which they can no longer be themselves.”

REACHING OUT TO REPUBLICAN VOTERS BY SHOOTING SOMETHING SMALL AND INOFFENSIVE: Mike Huckabee shot a pheasant in Iowa, saying, “Maybe it will show that I certainly understand the culture of being outdoors.”

The Huckster explained that it’s hunters who are the true conservationists. “It’s the hunters who actually keep the wildlife alive. A lot of people think that when you hunt you’re destroying the wildlife.”

REACHING OUT TO WOMEN VOTERS BY ASKING THEM TO PIPE DOWN, THERE’S A GAME ON, AND OH YEAH COULD YOU GET ME A BEER, HON?: Fred Thompson, asked about his abortion policy, turned naturally to... a football analogy: “We’re on the 10-yard line, and it’s like if we can’t score a touchdown on our own 10-yard line ... we won’t run a play that will take us to the other guy’s 20-yard line. I’m talking about doing something that can get done.” Which supposedly is meant to communicate something about restricting abortions at the state level. Then, “we can collect our marbles and see where we are then.”

Thompson also agreed with an Iowan bigot that hearing Spanish-language options when you call the power company is “sickening.” Also, having to press 1 for English leaves him plum tuckered out.

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