And hijinks ensued

Hamas sponsors a mass wedding of 382 couples at a refugee camp in Syria, the idea being to allow an affordable way for the refugees to get married (Hamas also gave them a gift of $2,100). But, according to the AP, “The brides and grooms were separated during a wedding party... as observant Muslims do not mix in public.” Boy do I see the opportunity for a sitcom-style wacky mixup.

War isn’t worth one life

Following the death today of Harry Patch, a World War I (and indeed, Passchendaele) vet and, judging by his name, a minor character in a Dickens novel, there remain only three veterans of the Great War. Patch was the last who had seen battle in the trenches. Said Patch, “War isn’t worth one life.” He tried to aim only at the Germans’ legs. He was wounded by a shell and spent a year in hospital. Like Henry Allingham, he survived his children. He was married to his first wife for 58 years and his second wife for 24, and has also out-lived a girlfriend, because he was still picking up chicks as a centenarian. Which is awesome and gross in equal measure.

I obviously helped to contribute ratcheting it up

Berlusconi’s prostitute is suing the foreign minister for impugning her reputation. Let me just repeat that: Berlusconi’s prostitute is suing the foreign minister for impugning her reputation.

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There are now a record number of inmates serving life sentences, 10% of all prisoners, twice that in three-strikes California. 2/3 of the lifers are black or Latino.

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Orrin Hatch, who says he will vote against Sotomayor: “In truth, I wish President Obama had chosen a Hispanic nominee that all Senators could support.” Edward James Olmos? Ugly Betty? Eric Estrada? Freddie Prinze Jr? It’s Eric Estrada, isn’t it?

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Obama invites Henry Louis Gates and the cop who arrested him to the White House for a beer. I’m now officially embarrassed by my president. If Gates doesn’t go have a beer with his persecutor, he looks like a jerk. Obama says that the arrest was an overreaction but “Professor Gates probably overreacted as well.” Who did Gates put in handcuffs and put in a cell for 4 hours? Let’s not try to create equivalences here. Only one of the two had authority granted to him by the state over the other.

Another reason not to create equivalence: Gates probably doesn’t deal with cops every day, but it’s Sgt. Crowley’s job to deal with members of the public in stressful circumstances. If he’s doing his job properly, he will get cursed at or shouted at several times a week. He should be able to handle it without taking it personally.

In their conversation, Sgt. Crowley complained to Obama that the press have been coming onto his lawn. Yes, isn’t it annoying when people come uninvited onto your property?

Your new doctor

My New York Times today had this full-page ad from the Cato Institute:


Er, Doctor Sam, what exactly are you planning to do with that finger?

Crappy job market

An Alert Reader sent in this story from the South China Morning Post:

SHANDONG - Five college graduates have won fiercely contested jobs as excrement collectors in Jinan, the Qilu Evening News reports. The five beat out 391 candidates, including one postgraduate and many university graduates. They passed a written test and had an interview. The job had previously been hard to fill, but in the tough job market, many people were attracted by the good benefits.

CONTEST: What questions were on the written test? Also, what might those “good benefits” be?

Obama press conference: I’ve got a doctor following me every minute

Yesterday, Katie Couric asked Obama whether abortion would be covered under his health care plan (no one asked about abortion in today’s press conference). He responded with evasion and indifference, saying he wouldn’t, “at this stage,” “micromanage benefits,” and that there is “a tradition of, in this town, historically, of not financing abortions as part of government funded health care.” Oh well, if it’s a tradition, like Sloppy Joe Wednesdays and disregard of women’s health issues. Clearly, tradition must be given more weight than justice or whatever. “Rather than wade into that issue at this point, I think that it’s appropriate for us to figure out how to just deliver on the cost savings...” Like, did you know how much we can save by not covering anything related to chicks’ lady-parts? “...and not get distracted by the abortion debate at this station.” Those silly women, always trying to distract Obama from the important stuff.

HAVE THEY CHECKED BEHIND THE COUCH? Factoid Obama has been repeating over and over this week: 14,000 people lose their health insurance every day.

Press conference transcript.

OH, HE KNOWS US SO WELL: “a lot of Americans may be wondering, ‘What’s in this for me?”


“SO LET ME BE CLEAR” IS THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “So let me be clear: If we do not control these costs, we will not be able to control our deficit.”

YOU KNOW, THE CHEAP BEST CARE: “Our proposals would change incentives so that doctors and nurses are free to give patients the best care, just not the most expensive care.” Fortunately, there are no circumstances in which the best care is also the most expensive care; never happens.


“SO LET ME BE CLEAR” IS THE NEW “IN OTHER WORDS”: “So let me be clear: This isn’t about me. I have great health insurance, and so does every member of Congress.” I know that makes me feel better.

WHAT THIS IS ABOUT: “This is about the middle-class college graduate from Maryland whose health insurance expired when he changed jobs and woke up from the emergency surgery that he required with $10,000 worth of debt.” Ah yes, debt-insertion surgery.

“I want to cover everybody. Now, the truth is that, unless you have a -- what’s called a single-payer system, in which everybody is automatically covered, then you’re probably not going to reach every single individual because there’s always going to be somebody out there who thinks they’re indestructible and doesn’t want to get health care, doesn’t bother getting health care, and then, unfortunately, when they get hit by a bus, end up in the emergency room and the rest of us have to pay for it.” So what’s the argument here? Since he doesn’t support single-payer, I guess he’s okay with Indestructible Boy’s ER bill being paid by the rest of us. Maybe this person is just too big a jerk to be worth covering. Also, is Jim DeMint driving the bus?


He claims that 97 to 98% of the population will be covered. Sure it will.

BECAUSE RED IS OUR FAVORITE COLOR? “If there’s a blue pill and a red pill, and the blue pill is half the price of the red pill and works just as well, why not pay half price for the thing that’s going to make you well?”

BECAUSE IT WAS... MURDER! “But people are no longer talking about the financial system falling off a cliff.”


On Wall Street compensation: “I’d like to think that people would feel a little remorse and feel embarrassed and would not get million-dollar or multimillion-dollar bonuses.” Yes, because if there’s one thing they have with abundance on Wall Street, it’s remorse and a sense of embarrassment.

KEEP THEM HONEST? WHEN WERE THEY HONEST BEFORE? “And part of the reason we want to have a public option is just to help keep the insurance companies honest.”

AND A BUNCH OF GUYS WITH DART GUNS FOLLOW BIDEN EVERY MINUTE, IN CASE HE SAYS SOMETHING STUPID: Asked the silly question of whether he (and Congress) should get no better than the public option: “You know, I would be happy to abide by the same benefit package. I will just be honest with you. I’m the president of the United States, so I’ve got a doctor following me every minute...”


Asked about the arrest of Harvard’s Professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. at his own home, he said “the Cambridge police acted stupidly.”

JIGGER, I SAID JIGGER! “I mean, if I was trying to jigger into -- well, I guess this is my house now, so... (LAUGHTER) ... it probably wouldn’t happen. But let’s say my old house in Chicago. (LAUGHTER) Here, I’d get shot.”

Obama was wonkish and, let’s face it, boring, like he has no real passion for the issue. Also rambling and at times evasive. It didn’t move the health-care debate along, didn’t put any pressure on Congress, or hit back against his critics. So why did he want to hold a prime-time press conference anyway?

They are acting out to send a message that we’re not interested in receiving

Hillary Clinton on North Korea’s latest nuclear and missile tests: “Maybe it’s the mother in me or the experience that I’ve had with small children and unruly teenagers and people who are demanding attention – don’t give it to them. They don’t deserve it. They are acting out to send a message that we’re not interested in receiving.” 1) Yeah in your household it was Chelsea who was unruly and acting out and demanding attention. 2) This is your idea of effective diplomacy? 3) Did Bush’s “ignore them and maybe they’ll go away” policy towards NK work? 4) They’re NUKES. It’s not a tantrum, it’s the most dangerous weaponry on the planet.

On the two journalists still being held by North Korea, she has switched the US position from demanding their release because they did nothing wrong to asking for clemency because they admit being criminals: “The young women themselves have, apparently, admitted that they probably did trespass so they are deeply regretful and we are very sorry it’s happened.” She’s treating as truthful statements which were made by people being held by North Korea?

Asmussen:

Folks think I’m a city boy

Last night Obama had an “Evening of Country Music” at the White House, which has seen many awkward events but not many more so (Jackie Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe in the same room, Shrub’s Hanukkah celebrations, and Nixon dining alone come to mind) (oo, IMPROMPTU CONTEST: name some other awkward White House events).

Obama claimed to enjoy country music: “Now, I know folks think I’m a ‘city boy’ -- (laughter) -- but I do appreciate listening to country music because like all Americans, I appreciate the broad and indelible impact that country has had on our nation.” “After all, name me any other country that would have produced a Hank Williams or a Willie Nelson.”

Here are the Obamas’ “I’m just sitting here, enjoying the country music” faces.

And you know where he can stick that knife...

The Terminagovernor, responsible for making a horrendous budget so much more horrendouser, plays with a knife and gibbers about autographing state vehicles and selling them on Ebay in this (30-second) video he posted via Twitter.

The king is dead, hail to the king

There has been much talk about how Walter Cronkite was never replaced as the “most trusted man in America,” what with growing cynicism and the splintering of news media and so on. But...

That is just not true.

Ahem.

Cough.

I mean modesty forbids, but...





I will try to use my power only for good.

Is John McCain showing his age again?

Obama Meets the Moon People

Today, Barack Obama met with leaders of the Mormon church and with the Apollo 11 astronauts. Not at the same time, which is a shame because they surely must have loads in common. For example, the former wear magic underpants, the latter pooped in their space suits.

Mysteriously, there seem to be no pictures of the meeting with the Mormons, but Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and the, you know, other one, faked their White House footage on a sound stage in a Northrop Grumman hangar.

CAPTION CONTEST! YAY!

A real sign of desperation and inappropriate criminal behavior

The Toronto Star confirms that under Obama there has been no review of the policy of force-feeding prisoners at Guantanamo. They also quote various military types about how that policy is neither cruel nor inhumane.

Elsewhere, other military types are complaining about the cruelty and inhumanity of the Taliban showing video of Priv. Bowe Bergdahl, the American soldier they took prisoner. And Hillary Clinton calls the capture “a real sign of desperation and inappropriate criminal behavior”. I’m sure the Taliban will be just mortified to have their actions called inappropriate.

By the way, how is it inappropriate for combatants in a war to take prisoners?

Free Canada!

I gather that Mitch McConnell was on Meet the Press today repeating the favorite Republican notion that Canadians would all much rather have the US health care system. Isn’t it sad that Canada isn’t a democracy, and cannot just elect the Canadian equivalents of Mitch McConnell to tear down their hated Socialist Health Care?

How long is that in slog years?

America will not accept a “long slog” in Afghanistan without signs that “we are making headway,” Secretary of Long Slogs Robert Gates says. If eight years isn’t a long slog, I wonder what is?

He says we’ll need to show progress by 2 Friedman Units from now. If we do, “then you can put more time on the Washington clock.” Oh good.

It is at your funeral that you in many ways can see most clearly the things that really matter in life

Can’t believe I forgot we owned an air strip in Honduras. But when President Zelaya tried to return to his country and they parked all those tanks on the runways at Tegucigalpa’s airport, we didn’t let him use ours. That in an Indy article that points out how many of Bush’s Latin American people are still hanging around in the Obama foreign policy establishment.

Gov. Mark Sanford issues an apology to the people of South Carolina. There are few things on this earth as irritating as a Christian doing that pathetic-smug I-done-wrong-but-God-will-make-it-all-better thing, and this is a superb exemplar of the genre, which I urge you to read for yourselves. Anyway, he’s grown from his mistakes and will be a much better governor in consequence. So that’s all right then. Words not used in the letter: resignation, Appalachian Trail, adultery, sparking thing, two magnificent parts of yourself, soul mate...

(Update: Marcy Wheeler: “Shorter Mark Sanford: I learned at C Street that we powerful people are always forgiven due to God’s grace, so I see my sins as a sign from God that I should stay governor.”)

Wonder what her porn name is

Name of the Day: the head of the (British) Charity Commission, currently cracking down on private schools: Dame Suzi Leather. Wikipedia says she is the daughter of a sex therapist and a doctor. Figures. And she is married to a Professor Iain Hampsher-Monk.

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Farewell Henry Allingham. We hardly knew ye. 113 years old. Outlived his children, had 5 grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren, 14 great-great grandchildren and one great-great-great grandchild. Married more than 50 years, then a widower for 39 years. Was retired longer than he worked. Unimaginable. He leaves only a handful of World War I vets (inc 2 British, 1 American). He said of the Great War, “I saw too many things I would like to forget but I never will forget them, I never can forget them.”

Of giant pastries and other things, but I had you at “giant pastries,” didn’t I?

Bakers in Nablus in the West Bank have created the world’s biggest kunafa (some sort of pastry involving goat cheese), 243 feet long in order to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. Why, there’s Palestinian Prime Minister Fayyad. And the only guy using a fork to eat his kunafa is the American Consul-General in Jerusalem Jacob Walles.


Meanwhile Gaza is working on its bid to enter the Guinness Book of World Records as the world’s largest prison camp. Fingers crossed.

Yet another demo by Jerusalem ultra-Orthodox against the municipal parking lot, this time without rioting (update: well, a few stones thrown at passing cars), possibly because they were tired out from rioting earlier in the week over the arrest of a mentally disturbed ultra-O. woman for starving her 3-year-old son almost to death (they were against it: the arrest, not the starving thing). The authorities released her on bail into house arrest (how house arrest is different from, you know, being an ultra-Orthodox woman, no one has explained). She has 4 other children and another rugulah in the oven.

Funny, I had a late lunch but I’m suddenly hungry.

Gene Weingarten has some questions for Cheney’s publisher.

We did not think that symbol was anything wrong

Headline of the Day (London Times): “Charles Taylor Defends Use of Human Skulls.” At roadblocks during the coup. He says it was an effective means of gently encouraging people to obey soldiers’ orders. But not stringing human entrails against the road, he entirely denies that ever happened. And only skulls, not human heads with the flesh still on them: “I would not have tolerated anyone killing and putting a human head up.” And only “enemy skulls.” Also, “We are not talking about skulls lying around all over the place [but only] at certain strategic junctions.” So that’s okay then.

The Un-Sotomayor

Linda Chavez began her testimony at the Sotomayor hearings today with the only honest words of her career: “I testify today not as a wise Latina woman”.