BP turducken

Lizz Winstead tweet: “Stop running ads for BP unless Tony Hayward is standing there covered in oil holding a pelican covered in oil.”

What’s the word for a seagull covered in oil stuffed inside a pelican covered in oil stuffed inside a Tony Hayward covered in oil?

Bullhorn moment

Lindsey Graham says Obama needs “a bullhorn moment where he went to the Gulf of Mexico and said, ‘We’re going to get this right, I’m going to get on it.’” So President Canute needs to go to the Gulf and yell at the oil spill. Excellent advice, Huckleberry.

Today -100: June 11, 1910: Of Finland and Mexico

Russia removes whatever autonomy Finland’s Diet had.

Mexican troops recapture Valladolid.

We are protesting so that people know we are not killers

In the most terrifying protest ever, professional clowns in San Salvador, who make money annoying people on public transportation, protested against people who dress up as clowns and rob people on public transportation (Monday a clown shot a bus passenger who refused to pay up).





The horror. The horror.

Today -100: June 10, 1910: Of pogroms

Borisov, A Russian town largely populated by Jews, has been burned down.

Why dreams need hyperlinks

So I was just taking a nap and in my dream I was reading in The Nation about an incident (which I was also seeing) in which the president of Honduras ordered some subordinate taken away and tortured. Then I looked up (I was on a street corner, I believe in L.A.) and there he was, the president of Honduras, crossing the street, all by himself, wearing khakis. So naturally I yelled “Thug” at him, and he stormed over, and I tried to show him the article I’d just been reading but I couldn’t find it again as I leafed desperately through the several issues of The Nation I had with me on my sofa (still on that street corner). It was very frustrating.

Today -100: June 9, 1910: A second sober thought

In the Yucatan, Indian insurgents massacre officials and others, 40 or more, in Valladolid and are occupying the town.

The president of the United States Brewers’ Association reassures its annual convention that “the American people have taken a second sober thought” and now reject prohibition. The Executive Committee issued a report: “The whole vegetable world is in a conspiracy against the prohibitionist. The bees become intoxicated with the distillation of the honey suckle; the wasps grow dizzy in the drowsy clover patch, and even the ants wobble in their walk after they have feasted upon the overripe fruit fallen from the tree, which has started a natural fermentation.” And if it’s good enough for the bees, wasps and ants...

President Taft has rejected the demand from citizens of Seattle for the removal of the 25th Infantry, a black unit, after a member has allegedly assaulted a white woman.

The governor of Smolensk is using secret police to track down Jews, searching house to house and scouring the woods, were some have been hiding.

Today -100: June 8, 1910: Old-fashioned good times and good politics

Three days ago Taft said that socialism was the enemy. The NYT agrees “When both parties become convinced of the truth of this, and become once more respectively Democratic and Republican in the old-fashioned manner, then old-fashioned good times and good politics will be with us once more.”

The Supreme Court of the District of Columbia decides that while Isabel Wall (7) showed no visual signs of being a negro, he would not order the Board of Education to admit her to the white school. Justice Wright claims she is either 1/8th or 1/16th black (her family claims 1/128th), and that heredity rather than appearance is what counts: “Graduations shading toward black or fairness are of very insignificant concern in determining whether one is ‘colored.’”

Today -100: June 7, 1910: Rubber balls of doom

The number of Jews expelled from Kiev so far is 1,421.

In a letter to the Times, William McDowell, President of the League of Peace, asks that Charles Hamilton, who will be flying a plane from NY to Philadelphia, carry some rubber balls and drop them on ships, ferry boats, railroad junctions, City Hall, etc, to demonstrate, I guess, that we are all doomed and that the battleships Congress just authorized should not be built, because they can always be bombed from those new-fangled flying contraptions.

A little detail about the Rachel Corrie

Israel commandos hijacked the Rachel Corrie to an Israeli port, this time without killing anyone, but the one thing they refuse to do is acknowledge that the ship is called the Rachel Corrie. When they were radioing it, they called it by its old name Linda.

Today -100: June 6, 1910: O

O. Henry dies, at 43.

Headline of the Day -100: “Hair Will Be Scarcer.” China is forbidding the export of human hair, after incidents of women’s hair being cut off in crowds, and pauper corpses being exhumed and shorn. I guess “The Gift of the Magi” doesn’t really translate into Chinese.

Ultimately, this isn’t about me and how angry I am

Thursday, Obama was interviewed by Larry King.

WHAT HE WOULD LOVE TO SPEND A LOT OF HIS TIME DOING: On the BP oil spill: “And the one thing that I think is important to underscore is that I would love to just spend a lot of my time venting and yelling at people. But that’s not the job I was hired to do.”

IT’S ALSO ABOUT WHETHER YOU WORE THE RIGHT CLOTHES WHEN YOU WENT TO EXAMINE THE SCENE: “And, ultimately, this isn’t about me and how angry I am.”

He displayed even less human emotion when asked about the flotillacide. He carefully – oh so carefully – refrained from blaming Israel – “I think that we need to know what all the facts are.” – choosing his words with exquisitely precise vagueness: “Well, you know, the United States, with the other members of the U.N. Security Council, said very clearly that we condemned all the acts that led up to this violence.” All the acts, which could mean acts by the peace activists or the commandos, or, really, the entire history of the world before this week. And “this violence,” which could mean that of the commandos or that of the flotillaites. The very last thing he’s willing to say is that shooting unarmed civilians repeatedly at close range is a, you know, bad thing. “You’ve got loss of life that was unnecessary.” Pretty much by definition for any death not the result of natural causes. “And so we are calling for an effective investigation of everything that happened.” You know, everything. Just couldn’t bring himself to utter a single statement that focused exclusively on the people with the assault rifles.

He did an even-handed description of the living conditions of Israelis and Palestinians. Israel has “missiles raining down on cities,” which certainly suggests a much more systematic and lethal state of affairs than actually exists. Come to think of it, the total number of Israelis killed by rockets in the last few years is about equal to the number of people killed in the flotillacide. “On the other hand,” Obama went on, “you’ve got a blockade up that is preventing people in Palestinian Gaza from having job opportunities and being able to create businesses and engage in trade and have opportunity for the future.” So all the years-long blockade of medicine and building supplies and for fuck’s sake nutmeg has done to the Palestinians is to deprive them of a few job opportunities? Comparing the continuous rain of missiles on Israeli cities and the Gazans not having job opportunities etc, which one sounds more like a humanitarian crisis?

Today -100: June 5, 1910: Of pygmies, and the great problems confronting the American people and the socialist American people

In response to reports that a hitherto-unknown tribe of pygmies (ave. 4' 3") has been found in Dutch New Guinea, the NYT editorializes lamely, “We are not in pressing need of pigmies. Small men abound the world over. Washington seems at present to be full of pigmies, and Albany has more than its share. ... Let the discoverers take new heart and look for giants. We need a few giants in all walks of life.”

In a speech in Jackson, Michigan, Taft says that Socialism is the great problem confronting the American people.

And Victor Berger, head of the socialists in Milwaukee, says that socialists’ great problem is Catholicism.

Today -100: June 4, 1910: Of scabs, spies, and horns

Two strikebreakers from the Philadelphia trolley strike were convicted for involuntary manslaughter for running down and killing two strikers. Sentence: 1 year.

In the trial of Cleveland Police Chief Fred Kohler, the chairman of the Civil Service Commission rules that it is perfectly proper for the chief to use city detectives to spy on public officials and prominent men to see which ones go to saloons (Cleveland was not dry) or disorderly houses.

A letter to the Times from Charles Vezin, presumably the painter, criticizes car horns, especially the new buzzer horns, as “aural dum dum bullets.” “It is the most aggressive, insolent, and misanthropic note that mechanical ingenuity has evolved.”

Reminds me: I saw a little roadster, c.1920, tooling down the road yesterday. The driver was holding a Starbucks cup, which just seemed wrong.

We did not send bullies with knives and metal rods to TurkeyWe did not send bullies with knives and metal rods to Turkey

Hamas blocks entry of the flotilla aid into Gaza. Because they’re idiots. Turning back five truckloads of wheelchairs means they are now doing exactly what Israel is doing with the blockade, punishing ordinary Gazans for political reasons. Idiots.

Israeli Foreign Minister Avigdor Lieberman says the “entire blame” for the flotillacide rests with Turkey: “We didn’t start this provocation, we did not send bullies with knives and metal rods to Turkey.”

China bans the use of evidence obtained through torture in courts. Um, good.

Today -100: June 3, 1910: Of peace, women grads, and the color line

Congress is working on a bill to create a commission to promote the cause of international peace, to be headed by ex-President Roosevelt.

Taft delivers the commencement address at Bryn Mawr, his daughter Helen’s school. He came out in support of higher education for women, which is good because otherwise it might have been a tad awkward. He said “I utterly dissent” from the notion “that the higher education of women rather unfits them for the duties of a wife and mother, that in some way or other it robs them of a charm and gives them an intellectual independence that is inconsistent with their being the best wives and mothers.” It isn’t “essential... that she should make the extent of her knowledge a source of discomfort to those with whom she associates, or that she should lose her interest in the sentiment and emotions of life, or fail to have an appreciation of beauty and romance.” However, he warned graduates against being discontented when they return to their homes; “A young lady with a higher education has much to learn after graduation in the homely details and the drudgery of ordinary life, and the sooner she learns it the happier”. He claimed that women teachers are paid less than men because of the laws of supply and demand.

The D.C. Supreme Court will decide if a white school has to accept a student (with “flaxen hair, blue eyes, a fair complexion”) it tried to exclude because she is 1/128th black. There was a word for that, by the way: mustee.

It was a boat of hatred

Joe Biden says it was “legitimate” to board the flotilla, although “you can argue whether Israel should have dropped people onto that ship or not”. Not. And he wonders what the “big deal” (shouldn’t that be “big fucking deal”?) was about landing in Gaza rather than in an Israeli port. But since he says specifically of building materials, “they could have easily brought it in here and we’d get it through,” one has to wonder if Biden actually knows that Israel bans the entry of cement and other building material into Gaza. Indeed, possibly he doesn’t know that there’s a blockade of Gaza, which would explain why he doesn’t understand what the big deal is.

Biden says that an investigation run entirely by Israelis is just fine, comparing it to the investigation of North Korea allegedly sinking the South Korean sub being conduct by South Korea. For that comparison to work, wouldn’t the investigation have to have been conducted by North Korea?

Netanyahu says the flotilla was “directed by terrorists.” “That was not a Love Boat, it was a boat of hatred.”

Today -100: June 2, 1910: Of Jim Crow, talking to girls, mad Russians, and spurious frankfurters

The Supreme Court rules in Chiles v. Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad Company, that “separate but equal” accommodations on inter-state trains are okay, in effect reversing an 1875 decision that states could not impose Jim Crow laws on inter-state commerce (technically, the rules were those of the railway company, which just so happened to follow the Kentucky law, but the Court said that since Congress didn’t explicitly ban it from doing so, “the inaction of Congress was equivalent to the declaration that a carrier could, by regulations, separate colored and white interstate passengers”). The Court said, citing Plessy v. Ferguson, that “Regulations which are induced by the general sentiment of the community for whom they are made and upon whom they operate cannot be said to be unreasonable.” Incidentally, the black passenger in the case, James Alexander Chiles, was a lawyer who argued his own case and was (probably) the first black person to argue before the Supreme Court.

Headline of the Day -100: “Taft Talks to Girls.” At the commencement exercises of Trinity College for Girls.

Assistant Secretary of the Navy Beekman Winthrop says that “There is no danger of the brutalizing of our national character by a large navy”. So that’s all right then. Indeed, “no country has ever acted toward other countries with such altruistic motives as have marked our course in recent years toward Cuba, the Philippines, and Porto Rico.”

A mad Russian throws something first thought to be a bomb, but actually a can of beans, at Crown Prince Friedrich Wilhelm in Berlin. He missed.

A Chinese man tries to smuggle four pounds of opium into the country, concealed in “spurious frankfurters.” I love that phrase.

Hey philistines!

Yesterday I posted a link to the website of art student Emily Henochowicz, whose eye the Israelis shot out. Did even one of you click through to check out her art? No, you did not. Do it now. There will be a quiz later.

Today -100: June 1, 1910: Of pioneers and protectorates

Elizabeth Blackwell, the first woman doctor in the United States (though born in Britain), having graduated medical school in 1849, has died at 80.

The State Department is thinking about making Nicaragua a “protectorate.” Or possibly having Mexico make it a protectorate. Or just taking over its finances (the big worry for the US, naturally, is that both sides are trying to collect customs duties). The US policy for the last 6 months has been not to recognize either the Madriz government or the Estradists.