Obama press conference: Meeting our basic standards

Obama held one of his rare press conferences today.

He began by expressing his condolences to Japan on behalf of the American people (so expect a rebuttal from Mitch McConnell) for the earthquake/tsunami/volcano/Godzilla attack, which he called “a potentially catastrophic disaster”. Potentially?

Then he moved on to a real catastrophic disaster: rising gas prices in the US. But, he says, there is “good news. The global community can manage supply disruptions like this.” If by “manage supply disruptions,” you mean use the excuse of a tiny hiccup in a country accounting for a small percentage of the world oil supply to jack up oil company profits.

He talked about his “commitment to do everything that we can to get gas prices down,” but will he invade Libya and steal their oil? I think not.


I DON’T SEE HOW ANYTHING COULD GO WRONG WITH THAT. He said that domestic oil production is at a high, including in the Gulf of Mexico.

HAVE YOU READ SARAH PALIN’S TWITTER FEED LATELY? “I don’t think anybody has forgotten that we’re only a few months removed from the worst oil spill in our history.”

BY WHICH I MEAN MOONSHINE: “Right now, all across America, our farmers are producing homegrown fuels”.

WHAT WE’VE BEEN HAVING FOR NEARLY FOUR DECADES NOW: “We’ve been having this conversation for nearly four decades now. Every few years, gas prices go up; politicians pull out the same old political playbook, and then nothing changes. And when prices go back down, we slip back into a trance. And then when prices go up, suddenly we’re shocked. I think the American people are tired of that. I think they’re tired of talk.” Oh, wait, they’re not tired, they’re just still in that trance.


IF BY “SLOWLY,” YOU MEAN IMPERCEPTIBLY: “across the board we are slowly tightening the noose on Qaddafi.”

I DON’T THINK “BEING ISOLATED INTERNATIONALLY” IS AS SCARY TO DICTATORS AS AMERICAN PRESIDENTS ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK IT IS: “He is more and more isolated internationally, both through sanctions as well as an arms embargo.”

CONVERSATIONS! A SERIES OF THEM! IF THAT DOESN’T SCARE QADDAFI, I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL. “And what we’ve done is we’ve organized in NATO a series of conversations about a wide range of options that we can take...”

24-HOUR SURVEILLANCE! IF THAT DOESN’T SCARE QADDAFI, I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL. “...everything from 24-hour surveillance so that we can monitor the situation on the ground and react rapidly if conditions deteriorated, to further efforts with respect to an arms embargo, additional efforts on humanitarian aid, but also potential military options including a no-fly zone.” NATO will be discussing that one on Tuesday. No rush, have a nice weekend.

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY HAVEN’T TAKEN ANY OPTIONS OFF THE TABLE, AREN’T THEY JUST BRAGGING ABOUT THEIR LACK OF ABILITY TO MAKE A DECISION? “So the bottom line is, is that I have not taken any options off the table at this point.”

SO WE’RE WATCHING AND WE’RE PAYING ATTENTION. IF THAT DOESN’T SCARE QADDAFI, I DON’T KNOW WHAT WILL. It’s important “to continue to find options that will add additional pressure, including sending a clear message to those around Qaddafi that the world is watching and we’re paying attention”.


Mimi Hall (USA Today) asks if it’s an “acceptable option” that Qaddafi not leave. He doesn’t like that question, so he decides he’s being asked if the US would invade Libya, and um, doesn’t answer that question either, even though he asked it of himself.

WHAT RAISES OUR ANTENNA: “And some of the rhetoric that you’ve seen -- for example, the idea that when Qaddafi said that they’d be going door to door hunting for people who are participating in protests -- that implied a sort of lack of restraint and ruthlessness that I think raises our antenna.” Isn’t that exactly what US troops do in Afghanistan? Does that imply a sort of lack of restraint and ruthlessness?

D’UH, WINNING: “We can’t stop investing in infrastructure -- those things that are going to make us competitive over the long term and will help us win the future.”

WHAT IT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND: “I think it’s very important, when we think about the budget, to understand that our long-term debt and deficits are not caused by us having Head Start teachers in the classroom.” Not unless we pay them, and Gov. Walker is leading us inexorably towards a slave-based educational system.

AFTER ALL, NO STANDARDS ARE MORE BASIC THAN COMPLETE NUDITY: On Bradley Manning: “I have actually asked the Pentagon whether or not the procedures that have been taken in terms of his confinement are appropriate and are meeting our basic standards. They assure me that they are.” So that’s okay, then.

At the end of it, he was asked by a Japanese reporter about the earthquake/tsunami/volcano/alien invasion/mecha-Godzilla attack in Japan and said, no doubt in calm, measured tones, “I’m heartbroken by this tragedy.”


Naturally, he buried his heartbreak in the only way he knew how, by meeting the Chicago Blackhawks. He got a jersey and a ring and a miniature Stanley Cup, which he held aloft with an expression that clearly betokened his intention to use it to pound his enemies into dust.

Today -100: March 11, 1911: Of new flags, perfect health, aviators, and quitting playwrights

Francisco Madero’s brother Gustavo says the insurrectos will be in Mexico City by Cinco de Mayo. As guests of President Díaz? some smart-ass reporter asks. No, to raise a new flag.

In Yucatan, the rebels capture two (or more) towns. They rename one Madero.

Meanwhile, the 80-year-old Díaz sends a telegram to the NYT that his health is “perfect.”

The German military wants to train pilots and is asking for unmarried lieutenants to volunteer for a two-month flying course, from which it will pick the 60 with the best sight and lowest weight.

Booth Tarkington says he is done writing plays. He never wants to look at a rehearsal again. He will change his mind.

Peter King will totally kickbox radical Muslims

Rep. Peter King (R-Hysteria) says, in an email to his supporters that links to his website which has a video labeled “Rep. King trains at the Bellmore Kickboxing Academy as he gets ready to hold hearings on the radicalization of Muslim Americans,” “I will not back down to the hysteria created by my opponents”. Because Tailgunner Pete is totally against hysteria.


And as King likes to say, “100% of the Islamic terrorists are Muslims”.

Today -100: March 10, 1911: Of explosions and hobble skirts

The NYT says that the “worst feature” of the Mexican Revolution is the Mexican government’s suppression of news.

Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin blows up. That explosives factory turns out to be maybe not such a good idea. The explosion was felt up to 500 miles away, doing $10,000 in damage to plate glass windows on State Street, Chicago alone. Only one person was killed, unlike the 1906 explosion at the plant, in which 9 were killed. There have been 9 explosions there in the last 10 years.

Stupid proposed laws: 1) One in the Connecticut legislature to ban the publication of pictures of policemen or to report on crimes until all suspects in the crime have been arrested. 2) One proposed in the Illinois legislature to ban harem skirts and hobble skirts.

Today -100: March 9, 1911: Of maneuvers and interventions

The British Foreign Office says they did not ask the US to intervene in Mexico to protect British nationals and business interests, as rumors have been claiming.

NYT: “Administration and War Department officials frankly admitted to-day that the ‘manoeuvres’ explanation of the sudden mobilization of an army division in Texas and Southern California strains credulity for acceptance, and then calmly repeated it and declared that it is the real explanation.”

Neither the Mexican government nor the insurrectos want American intervention. In case you were wondering.

Today -100: March 8, 1911: Of “maneuvers”

The US is moving 20,000 troops, one-forth of the entire army, to California and Texas along the Mexican border. Also part of the fleet. The government is claiming that these are just “maneuvers” to demonstrate that the army can be rapidly mobilized and that they have nothing to do with the Mexican Revolution. But what will the troops actually do? Enforce “neutrality” by preventing the movement of rebels and arms back and forth across the border? Engage in a full-scale military intervention? Or wait for the inevitable chaos in the event of the (falsely) rumored imminent death of 80-year-old dictator Porfirio Díaz?

Today -100: March 7, 1911: Of Catholic schools and the death penalty

Catholic bishops in the US announce, in obedience to a 13th-century papal law, that henceforth no absolution will be given to parents who fail to send their children to Catholic schools.

Joseph Cooney of San Francisco murdered his cousin. The next day, he went to observe the California State Assembly as it debated capital punishment; “He showed great anxiety while the vote was being taken.” The vote was 46 to 31 to abolish the death penalty, so Cooney immediately turned himself in to the San Francisco sheriff, who was in Sacramento in his other capacity as a state senator.

They experienced difficulties

The British, who I’m given to understand used to run an entire empire, sent what Foreign Secretary William Hague calls “a small British diplomatic team” to Benghazi by helicopter, equipped, as all diplomatic teams are, with guns, explosives, and false passports. Given that no one was expecting armed SAS soldiers to drop from the sky, the anti-Qaddafi rebels they were supposed to be making contact with immediately took them prisoner (Hague: “They experienced difficulties”), and subsequently expelled from the country (“which have now been satisfactorily resolved”).

Meanwhile, a former aide of Qaddafi claims that the reason Qaddafi was elected head of the African Union in 2009 was that Silvio Berlusconi got the leader of an unnamed nation who was opposing him to change his vote by sending two prostitutes to... convince him.

Today -100: March 6, 1911: Of lynchings, and the Socialistic Republic of Lower California

A black man is murdered by a mob in Marianna, Florida, after threatening to shoot the town marshal. The mob broke in the jail door to get at him.

Railroad firemen on the Cincinnati, New Orleans & Texas Pacific Railroad are voting on whether to call a strike against the practice of promotion by seniority. Because under it, black people can be promoted. And we can’t have that.

The NYT is worried about a medium-sized “army,” largely consisting of Americans, now in the Chihuahua region with the intention of turning Lower California into a “socialistic republic,” which would eventually join the United States.