Clear!

The tea party types are planning a “die in” at the Senate office buildings next week, to simulate how we’ll all die waiting for help under Obamacare. May I make one suggestion?


Call it a public option we can all support.

Baby’s first jihad

Ousted Honduran President Zelaya was about to, finally, leave the Brazilian embassy for Mexico, but the coup regime won’t let him unless he first resigns as president and leaves as a political asylum-seeker, prohibited from engaging in any politics.

In Britain, the West Midlands counter-terrorism police unit “confirmed that counter-terrorist officers specially trained in identifying children and young people vulnerable to radicalisation had visited nursery schools.” They want teachers to turn in any nursery school children who draw pictures of bombs or say that all Christians are bad or that they believe in an Islamic state. (To state the perhaps obvious: a child who proclaims the need for an Islamic state is not radicalized so much as repeating what he or she has heard at home. The police are using state institutions to spy on infants as a way to indirectly spy on their parents.)

Today -100: December 11, 1909: Of arbitration, dictators, and bino

The striking shirtwaist-makers and the bosses have agreed to arbitration (the employers are trying to get around recognizing the union).

It turns out that the Nicaraguan government forces characterized in the NYT as feeble were actually a cover for the real operation, as 3,000 troops move on the insurgent provisional government’s hq in the port city of Bluefields. The American consul has promised the outnumbered Estradaists support from the Marines on the Des Moines, anchored there. Another article insists that Estrada’s forces can easily survive a siege, but since it repeatedly refers to Zelaya as “the dictator,” its objectivity might be in some question.

Sen. Isidor Rayner (D-MD) introduces a resolution saying that Zelaya is guilty of murder and if the Estradaists fail to capture him, the US will have to.

In an interview, the, um, dictator Zelaya (in an article subtly headlined “Zelaya Yields To Our Power”) repeats his call for Secretary of State Knox to name a commission to investigate the charges against him (oddly, he never heard back). He says that Cannon and Groce were executed according to the laws of Nicaragua – evidently it’s illegal to command rebels. Zelaya says, “The attempt of Secretary Knox to establish the inviolability of the persons of Americans participating in foreign revolutions will result in constant revolutions led by immune Americans.” Zelaya seems to be looking for an exit strategy, saying he’d happily resign if it wouldn’t lead to faction fights with actual, you know, fighting, and that he is negotiating with the rebels on a successor acceptable to all parties; he has nominated Judge José Madriz. Zelaya blames the US’s hostility to him on President Cabrera of Guatemala.

More US soldiers are going insane in the Philippines than in any other branch of the military. The army blames homesickness, melancholy and bino, a Filipino beverage of some sort.

Money is fungible, you know

How long before the Republicans propose banning women from possessing money, because they might spend it on abortions?

My accomplishments are slight

Obama got his Nobel. He gave a speech. Possibly the most war-mongering Peace Prize speech ever. At one point he got carried away and declared war on Norway. Apostrophe-less transcript.

UNLIKE THOSE POOR SCHMUCKS AT GUANTANAMO – SAY, DIDN’T I PROMISE TO SHUT THAT PLACE DOWN?: “It is an award that speaks to our highest aspirations — that for all the cruelty and hardship of our world, we are not mere prisoners of fate.”

HELL, KISSINGER AND BEGIN, IF IT COMES TO THAT: “Compared to some of the giants of history who have received this prize — Schweitzer and King; Marshall and Mandela — my accomplishments are slight.”


In this long speech, he couldn’t not mention Iraq. Once. Let’s watch him try to slip it past, shall we? “I am the Commander-in-Chief of a nation in the midst of two wars. One of these wars is winding down. The other is a conflict that America did not seek; one in which we are joined by 43 other countries — including Norway — in an effort to defend ourselves and all nations from further attacks.”

TO REPLACE WHICH ONE WITH THE OTHER? IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO BE CLEAR: “And so I come here with an acute sense of the cost of armed conflict — filled with difficult questions about the relationship between war and peace, and our effort to replace one with the other.”

WELL, WITH SECOND MAN, BECAUSE WAR WITH JUST ONE MAN ISN’T AS MUCH FUN: “These questions are not new. War, in one form or another, appeared with the first man.”

SOME PEOPLE (SIGH) THOUGHT GETTING RID OF GEORGE BUSH WAS A GOOD START: “I do not bring with me today a definitive solution to the problems of war.”

Dude brought Will Smith with him.
Much of the speech was about the concept of “just war.” He’s in favor of it. “We must begin by acknowledging the hard truth that we will not eradicate violent conflict in our lifetimes. There will be times when nations — acting individually or in concert — will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified.”

“As someone who stands here as a direct consequence of Dr. King’s life’s work, I am living testimony to the moral force of non-violence.” AND I WILL SPIT ON THAT WORK IN 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... “But as a head of state sworn to protect and defend my nation, I cannot be guided by their [King and Gandhi’s] examples alone. I face the world as it is, and cannot stand idle in the face of threats to the American people.”

HERE’S THE MESSAGE FROM YOUR NOBEL PEACE PRIZE WINNER: WAR IS, IN FACT, PEACE: “So yes, the instruments of war do have a role to play in preserving the peace.”

TO REITERATE, WAR IS PEACE: “I believe that force can be justified on humanitarian grounds, as it was in the Balkans, or in other places that have been scarred by war.”

YET AGAIN, WAR IS PEACE: “The belief that peace is desirable is rarely enough to achieve it. Peace requires responsibility. Peace entails sacrifice. That is why NATO continues to be indispensable.”


I DON’T THINK THAT WORD, “ORDERED,” MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS: “And even as we confront a vicious adversary that abides by no rules, I believe that the United States of America must remain a standard bearer in the conduct of war. That is why I prohibited torture. That is why I ordered the prison at Guantanamo Bay closed.” That claim is becoming about as ridiculous as Bush’s claim that “we do not torture.”

He talked about the need to slap down Iran and North Korea, global warming, blah blah blah.


HE WAS FOR HOLY WAR BEFORE HE WAS AGAINST IT: “Most dangerously, we see it in the way that religion is used to justify the murder of innocents by those who have distorted and defiled the great religion of Islam, and who attacked my country from Afghanistan. These extremists are not the first to kill in the name of God; the cruelties of the Crusades are amply recorded. But they remind us that no Holy War can ever be a just war. For if you truly believe that you are carrying out divine will, then there is no need for restraint — no need to spare the pregnant mother, or the medic, or even a person of one’s own faith.” But earlier in the speech he denied the relevance of the non-violence of Gandhi and King because “make no mistake: Evil does exist in the world.” And it is just – some might even say holy – to go to war against evil. “A nonviolent movement could not have halted Hitler’s armies. Negotiations cannot convince al-Qaida’s leaders to lay down their arms. To say that force is sometimes necessary is not a call to cynicism — it is a recognition of history, the imperfections of man and the limits of reason.” Cynicism, hypocrisy, you say potato...

We’re getting to the end, so let’s bring out some of that ol’ Obama inspirational magic: “So let us reach for the world that ought to be — that spark of the divine that still stirs within each of our souls. Somewhere today, in the here and now, a soldier sees he’s outgunned but stands firm to keep the peace. Somewhere today, in this world, a young protestor awaits the brutality of her government, but has the courage to march on. Somewhere today, a mother facing punishing poverty still takes the time to teach her child, who believes that a cruel world still has a place for his dreams.” And then the soldier who sees he’s outgunned calls in an air strike and blows her and her child to pieces.

Don’t make us get all Viking on your ass

One of the delegates at the Copenhagen summit refers to the controversy over the hacked emails as “a storm in a teacup.” There’s probably a weak joke in there somewhere.

No one expected Obama to attend every Nobel Prize event (I understand the toga party is a highlight), but his ungracious decision to skip even the traditional lunch with the Norwegian king is being taken as a rude snub. In other words, the newest winner of the Nobel Peace Prize has managed to piss off... the Norwegians.

Today -100: December 10, 1909: If President Taft set off by train from New York to Chicago and weighs 300 pounds...

The NYT Times Traveler Blog, which inspired my own (lamely titled) Today -100 feature, is being discontinued, but don’t worry, Taft-lovers, we will be continuing together into the brave new world of the 1910s.

Headline of the Day -100: “Democrats Elect Money.” That’s Hernando De Soto Money of Mississippi, who was elected Senate minority leader.

In France, authors of textbooks used in the state schools have sued the Archbishop of Paris for damages for putting their texts on the Index of banned books.

In his State of the Union message, Taft proposed raising the postage rates for magazines, on which the Post Office was losing money because it was paying 9¢ a pound to transport it by rail. One M. T. Richardson, in a letter to the NYT, thinks this is excessive, noting that the railroads charge that rate to convey a 200-pound man, who they have to provide with heat and light and a seat, from NY to Chicago, while someone like, oh say President Taft, is charged less than 6¢ per mile. Because he’s fat, geddit?

Not unlike Jefferson and Adams, I’m sure

CONTEST: Sample dialogue from this meeting of the minds, please.

That’ll leave a mark

Alberto Gonzales has written something for Esquire. He says it was cool to work in the White House. He says that “The notion that what happened at Abu Ghraib was a result of the policies of the Bush administration I just think is totally ridiculous.” And “This may sound egotistical, but to me it is important that when I leave this earth, I would have made a difference -- that people would know Al Gonzales lived, he touched lives, he made a difference, he left a mark.” Oh, I’m sure the prisoners at Abu Ghraib (and Guantanamo and Bagram and....) will tell you that he left a mark.

Today -100, December 9, 1909: Of pro-Americanism in Nicaragua

Sloooow news day. The fighting in Nicaragua too is in a lull. The NYT says “President Zelaya, recognizing the growing sentiment in Nicaragua favorable to the revolutionists and to the part the United States is playing in the contest, has recently been making every effort to incite the people to anti-American demonstration. These efforts have been utterly futile, and nothing but fear of him prevents a pro-American demonstration.” Ain’t it the way. At any given moment, pro-American demonstrations are about to spontaneously break out all over the world, but something always gets in the way.

Who does Blair think he is, Thomas Friedman?

Tony Blair’s claim that Iraq could launch WMDs on 45 minutes’ notice evidently came from... a taxi driver. Who said he’d heard it from two army officers talking in the back of his cab. MI6 told Blair it was “verifiably inaccurate” (so why were they passing it on to Downing Street?) but he used it anyway.

Today -100: December 8, 1909: Of the State of the Union and pickle secrets

Taft has sent Congress his first State of the Union Address (which nobody seems to call by that name). Throughout it, notes the NYT, “runs a strong note of consideration for the commercial welfare of the country.” Unlike the addresses of Teddy Roosevelt, “There is not a bludgeon or a big stick in it”. Taft talks about the maximum tariff feature of the Payne-Aldrich law. Anyone care about that? Then we’ll move on. He recommends an executive council for Alaska and statehood for New Mexico and Arizona, postal savings banks, requiring Congressional candidates to file a statement of their contributions and expenditures, pensions for civil servants, and that army promotions be based on merit. He wants reform of federal court procedures to make them cheaper to use and faster, adding, “I do not doubt for one moment that much fo the lawless violence and cruelty exhibited in lynchings is directly due to the uncertainties and injustice growing out of the delays in trials, judgments, and the executions thereof by our courts.” He says, obviously referring to Nicaragua, that neither the Monroe Doctrine “nor any other doctrine of American policy should be permitted to operate for the perpetuation of irresponsible government, the escape of just obligations, or the insidious allegation of dominant ambitions on the part of the United States.”

Germany’s Prince Frederick von Sayn Wittgenstein is forced to renounce his title because he married a woman of the middling classes.

Headline of the Day -100 Years: “D. W. Bowles Arrested: Son of Samuel Bowles Accused of Trying to Steal Pickle Secrets.”

He knows what he did

The Archbishop of Canterbury can just go fuck himself.

Today -100: December 7, 1909: Of white slaves, mud flats, black hands, and employes

Congress is back in session. Rep. James Mann (R-Ill.) introduces a White Slave Traffic Act (yes, the Mann Act). And Rep. William Sulzer (D-NY) introduces a joint resolution directing the Taft admin to demand the “arrest, trial, and punishment of Zelaya by an impartial tribunal in Nicaragua for the willful murder of citizens of the United States, and ample apology from Nicaragua and such damages and reparation as may be just.” Oh, and “to use the entire land and naval forces of the United States, to such an extent as may be necessary,” to establish a responsible republican form of government in Nicaragua.

Not that Taft (who has a cold) is waiting on permission from Congress. 700 marines are finally underway to Central America, possibly to be used in Nicaragua. Their transport ship got stuck in some mud flats in the Delaware River and had to be replaced after they spent a couple of days trying to get it out.

The Italian Black Hand criminal secret society has been recruiting Italians working on the Lötschberg Tunnel in Switzerland for the American branch of the Black Hand, paying for the passage of 40 men.

The first time I saw this I thought it was a misprint, but evidently in 1909 employee was spelled employe.

The Case of the Funnel Cake Hit-Man

Harry Reid on Max Baucus: “Max is a good friend and an outstanding senator and he has my full support.” This is why people distrust the ethos of Washington: Reid sees nothing inappropriate in citing personal friendship as a reason for him to ignore a scandal. The NYT mentions something I’m kind of curious to hear more about: “Ms. Hanes handled a number of high-profile trials, including a double murder at the Iowa State Fair in 1996, where a husband and wife who operated a funnel cake stand were killed in a murder-for-hire case.”

(Update: Hired by the couple’s daughter and her husband, looking to inherit their property and of course the lucrative funnel cake business.)

Farewell, Big Bill Lister, “Radio’s Tallest Singing Cowboy,” we hardly knew ye.

Something fairly obvious occurred to me while reading Thomas Friedman’s column today, in which he says, “You can’t train an Afghan Army and police force to replace our troops if you have no basic state they feel is worth fighting for.” Indeed. And since there is in fact no basic state in Afghanistan, worth fighting for or otherwise, it follows that the army we’re building is by definition an army of mercenaries.

Swing swing together

Gordon Brown has been making fun of the Conservative leaders for being toffee-nosed (whatever that might mean) upper-class twits. And indeed, the Tories seem rather embarrassed about their upbringings, if by upbringing you mean being shipped off to a boarding school at age 7. David Cameron’s resumé doesn’t even mention his time at Eton, and the Tories’ other public-school-educated leaders have also omitted this information, while attendees of state schools do make note of the fact.

I think it’s a shame that the Tories are not turning their schooling to their advantage, and to that end I propose a CONTEST, an Eton contest if you will, although I understand that for an American blog an eating contest is more traditional: come up with a motto for the Conservative party that is unafraid of its leaders’ status. I’ll get you started:

Waterloo, Eton, playing-fields, ‘nuf said old chap?

We know what it’s like to be forcibly sodomized – now it’s your turn.

Droit de seigneur, it’s not just a good idea, it’s the law

Today -100: December 6, 1909: Of peppermint, normal women, and kings carrying coal

Bridgeport, Ohio, where the tin plate strike erupted into violence, is now under martial law, occupied by 1,500 militiamen.

John Kipp of the Warren County (NJ) Almshouse is about to turn 103 years old. The secret of his longevity: peppermint.

Charles W. Eliot, who has just retired after 40 years as president of Harvard, says that home-making should be the crowning desire of every woman, who should only exercise their intellect on the problems presented by home-making, companionship with her husband, and the vital problems of the rearing of children. He acknowledges that “exceptional” women can and do follow male professions, but such women, as a rule, contribute less to society than, you know, “normal” women. Only 100 years from Eliot to Lawrence Summers.

Mrs. Alva Belmont of the suffragist Political Equality Association hired the Hippodrome for a mass meeting (8,000, capacity) in support of the shirtwaist strike. Top city officials were invited to attend, but from the mayor down they all seemed to have more pressing business elsewhere. Dr. Anna Howard Shaw told the audience, which the NYT estimates as 85% female, that “Our cause [women’s suffrage] is your cause, and your cause is our cause.”

George Bernard Shaw was evidently considering visiting the US but has decided not to, and the NYT is sarcastically thrilled. “The threat of his coming has been hanging over us, and now that it is lifted our hearts should be appreciably lighter.” (They don’t do sarcasm a fraction as well as Shaw does.) Shaw is just a tad too critical of the US for the Times’s taste, one gathers.

An editorial disparages William Jennings Bryan’s plan to make prohibition into a national issue as “an unreasonable, even an absurd and ridiculous, thing,” but makes clear that it doesn’t condemn the Prohibitionist movement itself (so long as it stays on the local level).

France will prosecute a priest for placing a state school under an interdict.

King Gustave of Sweden disguised himself as a stevedore and spent a day carrying sacks of coal around to see what conditions among the workers are like. What’s the Swedish for “condescending publicity stunt”?

Merited – wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean? Merited. Say no more.

Headline of the Day (AP): “Baucus: Girlfriend Merited US Attorney Nomination.”

Tone-Deaf Quote of the Day: In a story about how, when Gordon Brown visited wounded troops, the majority refused to speak to him, Brown is quoted thusly: “There is nothing more heartbreaking than, as I did this week, meeting a teenager who has lost a leg.” Unless perhaps it’s being a teenager who has lost a leg.

Today -100: December 5, 1909: Of commissions, strikes, Hebrews, and aerial sign-posts

President Zelaya finally responds to the downgrading of diplomatic relations, and it’s a bizarre response: he asks the US to send a commission to investigate conditions in Nicaragua. He says he will resign if it finds his administration is detrimental to Central America.

In a 5-month-old strike against a subsidiary of the United Steel in Bridgeport, Ohio, five people have been shot, none fatally, in what the NYT calls a riot. It’s a man-bites-dog story in that the five who were shot are not strikers but three guards, a bystander and a 15-year-old. The strike began when the company declared its plants would all be open shops.

Various Jewish societies are asking the Immigration Commission to stop referring to Jewish immigrants as “Hebrew” in immigration reports, but instead refer to their nation of origin.

French aviator Louis Paulhan (who holds French flying license no. 10) has reached a height of 2,000 feet. He believes planes can go even higher. However, he did get a little lost on his test flight and says there really need to be “aerial sign-posts.”

Today -100: December 4, 1909: Of women in unions and hats in museums

Striking shirtwaist makers marched to NY City Hall to protest the “insults, intimidations, and... abuses” of strikers by the police, including arresting them but not the “toughs” hired by the employers after skirmishes. Mayor George McClellan, Jr. (son of the Civil War general, if you hadn’t guessed) says he’ll look into it.

The NYT attempts to explain, with maximum condescension, why the idea of union appeals to the shirtwaist makers (most of whom are women, many of them Italian or Jewish immigrants): equal pay, sure, but also “the idea of sacrificing themselves, if necessary, for the sake of a principle they believe for the good of the weaker worker... appeals to them powerfully. For they are women. The idea, too, of this vague and powerful protector, ‘the union,’ as they think of it, draws them into it.” “For them the strike is a sort of gay holiday, all mixed in with a vague and pleasant new worship, with lots of speeches, lots of dancing, much running to and fro, some danger, and a very great deal of excitement.”

A letter by a H. H. D. Klinker objects to men wearing hats in the Museum of Art and suggests a conspicuous sign advising them “that they should no more wear their hats in the Museum than in a church or theatre.”