Hoorah

Here’s what we’re supposed to believe: in Najaf American and Iraqi soldiers killed 250 militants from a group that no one’s ever heard of before this very day.

The Japanese health minister has graciously apologized for referring to women as “birth-giving machines,” saying, “I’m sorry to call them machines.”

On one of the Sunday talk shows, Joe Biden described the presidential race as a marathon. Just like one of your speeches then, Joe?

Newsweek has interviewed Dick Cheney. He said of the Middle East, “I think most of the nations in that part of the world believe their security is supported, if you will, by the United States. They want us to have a major presence there.” By “nations... believe their security is supported,” what he actually means is, “unelected, corrupt, authoritarian governments... believe their security is supported”.

You’ll remember that in the Wolf Blitzer interview Cheney referred to a question about his credibility as “hogwash.” In this interview, he once again reached into his Big Bag O’ Old Timey Homespun Sayings (possibly left behind by Donald Rumsfeld), saying of the non-binding anti-surge resolution, “what’s ultimately going to count here isn’t sort of all the hoorah that surrounds these proposals so much as it’s what happens on the ground in Iraq.” Hogwash and hoorah.

He says the war against “the threat [of] extreme elements of Islam on a global basis” will “occupy our successors maybe for two or three or four administrations to come.” So, including the next two years, and given that an administration can last one or two terms, that’s 10 to 34 years, somewhere between 2017 and 2041.

Asked again about his credibility, he said, “Obviously there was flawed intelligence prior to the war. ... [but] we should not let the fact of past problems in that area lead us to ignore the threat we face today and in the future.” I totally agree with that. Assuming that by “the threat we face today and in the future,” he also meant “Dick Cheney.”

Asked about Gerald Ford’s criticism of him, he insinuated that Bob Woodward made it all up. Newsweek pressed on, asking about criticism of him by Brent Scowcroft and others, saying, “You wouldn’t be human if it didn’t have some reaction.” He did in fact have a reaction – “Well, I’m Vice President and they’re not. (Evil laughter.)” (I may have added an adjective, just to make the transcript more accurate) – but I don’t know where Newsweek got the idea that he’s human.