Monday, January 29, 2007

The war on prepositions

I think it’s important to acknowledge when George Bush gets something right. In an interview with NPR, he said that he has “no intent upon incur – going into Iran,” and so I’m pointing out that one of those prepositions was used correctly.

He is shocked that people “ascribe, you know, motives to me” of wanting to invade Iran.

Asked about the still-thoroughly-unbelievable reports out of Najaf, he said that he’s learned not to react to first reports off the battlefield. And then he went on to react at some length to first reports off the battlefield, saying that it shows that Iraqis are taking the lead “to do in some extremists” and are “beginning to show me something.”

Asked about tomorrow’s Senate vote on the non-binding resolution, he says that “my feeling to the Senate” (he got a preposition right earlier, wasn’t that enough for you people?) echoes what “Tailgunner Joe” Lieberman said, adding, “legislators will do what they feel like they’ve got to do, and, you know, we want to work with them as best we can to make it clear what the stakes of failure will be, and also make it clear to them that I think they have a responsibility to make sure our troops have what they need to do the missions.” My, doesn’t “working with them” sound an awful lot like “telling them what to do”?

He says of Cheney’s over-confident predictions about Iraq that Cheney has a “glass half-full mentality.” Half full of strychnine.

Bush, whose glass is empty because he drank all the Kool-Aid, says that if we pull out of Iraq, “the country could evolve into a chaotic situation.” Imagine! And the Middle East would go to shit, and “people would look back at this era and say, ‘What happened with those people in 2006? Why couldn’t they see the impending threat?’” We’re being lectured about not seeing the future by someone who forgot to turn the page on his calendar.

Asked about his failure to mention Katrina recovery in the SOTU, he said, “Well, I gave a speech I thought was necessary to give.”

Asked if it was necessary to refer to the “Democrat majority,” he claims it was an “oversight.” “I didn’t even know I did it. ... I’m not that good at pronouncing words anyway”. Or defining them, or spelling them, or using them in a sentence. Especially prepositions.

And then he went on to complain about there being “a lot of politics in Washington,” indeed, “needless politics.” “And it’s almost like, if George Bush is for it, we’re against it, and I – and if he’s against it, we’re for it. And the American people don’t like that.” Yes, like when Nancy Pelosi came out in favor of the correct use of prepositions. “And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I’m sorry it’s the case, and I’ll work hard to try to elevate it.” Yes, yes he will.

He explained economics to the NPR audience: “The budget is going to be balanced by keeping taxes low. In other words, we’re not going to raise taxes.”

At the end, he asked “Camera’s off? (Chuckles.)” Yes, moron, the radio cameras are off.

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