Monday, May 30, 2011

News you missed this weekend (but not that much)

The king of Sweden denies he’s ever been in a strip club. Which means he’s totally been in a strip club.

Top news on Fox News: “Is Obama Chewing Gum at Joplin Memorial Service?”

From the BBC: “Police in southern Bangladesh say a woman cut off a man’s penis during an alleged attempt to rape her and took it to a police station as evidence.” Said a police spokesmodel: “As far as I am aware, this is the first time that a woman has brought a severed penis to the police station as evidence.”

Also from the Beeb: “Severed Head of Patron Saint of Genital Disease on Sale.” That’s St. Vitalis of Assisi. “He died in 1370, and word of his sanctity soon spread due to reports of numerous miracles performed on those with bladder and genital disorders.” “The Holy Cross Monastery, a Benedictine order in Rostrevor, County Down, did not even know who St Vitalis was, and after an internet search, declined to comment further on the matter of his or anyone else’s severed head.”

I’m conflicted. As fun as it would be to watch Michele Bachmann run for president, to do so she’d have to forego running for the Senate and I was looking forward to her debates with Al Franken.

To be clear, that was a picture of St. Vitalis of Assisi, not St. Michele of Minnesota. Although I understand Ms. Bachmann has also performed numerous miracles on those with bladder and genital disorders.

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