We’re helping them stay in a part of the American Dream is what we’re doing

Today Bush spoke about the economy to the Rotary Club of North Fredericksburg, Virginia, which is evidently “out in the country.” “People say, they’re probably wondering why would -- old George W. has got something important to say, why would he bother to come to a place out in the country?” Evidently it’s where jobs are created. And it’s “where dreams are lived,” which probably explains why all the Rotarians were in their underwear.


IN OTHER WORDS: He said that the economy doesn’t suck and that “productivity is high, in other words, our economy is becoming more productive as a result of the advent of new technologies.”

A FUTURE-TENSE IN OTHER WORDS, IN WHICH GEORGE IN OTHER WORDSes WORDS HE HASN’T EVEN USED YET: “In other words, what I’m about to tell you is, is that the Congress cannot take economic vitality for granted.”

IN OTHER WORDS, GEORGE HAS BEEN BREATHING IN THOSE JET FUMES AGAIN: “If the Congress can’t get the job done -- in other words, those jet fumes will start to be moving out pretty soon here, later on this week...”

TALKING ABOUT THE MORTGAGE CRISIS, GEORGE UNLEASHES SOME OF THE LINGO HE LEARNED AT MBA SCHOOL: “some people bought a house that they shouldn’t have been in the market... there are speculators who thought they could get -- buy nice, one of these reset mortgages and flip it, make some money” (from the old adage, buy nice, sell nasty). “But there are some people that are creditworthy that should be encouraged to stay in their homes.” We could throw rocks at them whenever they open their front door, or we could nail it shut or, oo, tigers. “[T]he bank doesn’t loan [sic] the mortgage anymore, the local lending institute doesn’t loan [sic] the mortgage anymore... And so some lenders [sic] aren’t sure where to turn.” Those sics were put in by some cheeky upstart at the White House who probably doesn’t even have a Harvard MBA.



REFINANCING THEIR MONEY: “We’re not bailing people out -- we’re helping them refinance their money, we’re helping them, you know -- we’re helping them stay in a part of the American Dream is what we’re doing, and it’s worthwhile to do that.”

The Treasury Dept, through a program amusingly called HOPE NOW, will “help people understand what is possible when it comes to finance and recourse and stay in your house.”

TO SUM UP: “And so I just want to let you know we got a strategy.” Color me reassured.

THIS COULD BE MISINTERPRETED: “And one of the things that Secretary Leavitt is doing is saying that if you’re interfacing with the federal government, then you got to post your price.”

WHAT THERE NEEDS TO BE: “there needs to be products like health savings accounts expanded.”

LOOK HOW I EDIT SOME WORDS OUT AND USE AN ELLIPSIS TO MAKE THIS BIT SOUND DIRTY: “We have an OB/GYN crisis in America... And they get sick of it, and say, I’m out of here.”

HE UNDERSTANDS THAT: “On electricity, there’s a lot of talk about electricity -- I understand that”.

BUT DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THIS: “So I can’t tell you why people aren’t for refinery expansion. I’m just telling you they ought to be.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “That’s why I’m against raising the gasoline tax. In other words -- we need to raise the gasoline tax.”


WHAT THE PRESIDENT’S JOB IS: “The President’s job is to think strategically for the country and help get fiscal sanity into the process.”

IN OTHER WORDS THAT SOUND KINDA DIRTY WITHOUT ANY EDITING ON MY PART: “Automobile -- I just told you that we’re going to become more efficient with our automobile -- we’re raising our fuel efficiency standards. In other words, cars and new technology and electricity are going to change how often people go to the pump.”

AN AMAZING, DEATH-DEFYING, DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “And if you happen to go to a user fee system [toll roads], one of the interesting things that are being used is differential pricing. In other words, you pay a different price depending upon the day you drive; in other words, a market-oriented system.” Time of day, idiot, not the day itself. Also, it’s only a market-oriented system for those people who have alternatives.


WAIT, IT WAS ACTUALLY A TRIPLE IN OTHER WORDS!: “In other words, what I’m telling you is the funding system is antiquated relative to the challenges we’re going to be facing.”

In the Q&A, Bush gently corrects a questioner:

Q: But I’m concerned about the nations like Iraq, who now have nuclear weapons --

BUSH: Iran.

Q: Iran and Iraq both.

BUSH: Not Iraq.

STOP YOUR ENRICHMENT!: “That program is still active, in spite of the fact that most of the world has said to the Iranians, stop your enrichment.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “The ability to weaponize that material -- in other words, to make it into something that explodes -- that part of the program is what the intelligence people thought was ongoing at one time and suspended.” Ongoing and suspended? Is that like a Zen thing?

WHAT’S TO SAY? REALLY, WHAT’S TO SAY?: “If somebody had them a weapons program, what’s to say they couldn’t start it up tomorrow?”

IF YOU GIVE A MAN A NUCLEAR FISH: “Interestingly enough, today Russia sent some enriched -- or in the process of sending enriched uranium to Iran to help on their civilian nuclear reactor. If that’s the case, if the Russians are willing to do that -- which I support -- then the Iranians do not need to learn how to enrich.”

He says that this week he will be visiting Walter Reed and Bethesda “to tell those troops we love them”. Awwww.

ALL OF A SUDDEN: “People start showing up demanding ethanol, and all of a sudden somebody figures out how to supply it.”

All we want to do is be treated fairly

Today Bush talked to some small business owners about Small Business Week.

THEY ARE NOT REAL PEOPLE, THEY’RE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD. GET HELP ALREADY: “The truth of the matter is, every day ought to be Small Business Day in America, because -- (applause.) People say, why?”

WILLING TO DREAM HARD: “But the thing that struck me the most, besides the fact that people are willing to dream and work hard”.


IN OTHER WORDS: “First, you might suggest to members of Congress that they let you keep your money -- in other words, to keep taxes low.”

WHAT GEORGE LIKES TO SAY: “This is obviously a difficult time for the economy, and I like to say it’s a rough patch.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “We did take action. In other words, rather than just analyzing the situation, we saw this coming and moved swiftly with members of Congress from both parties, believe it or not -- actually got something done in a constructive way without feeling like they had to call each other names.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, it’s a temporary stimulus package aimed at dealing with the rough patch that we’ve entered into, but it’s got to be robust enough to matter.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “One of my concerns about tax policy is that it creates uncertainty. In other words, when you’re trying to figure out a five-year projection about your companies, you’ve got to be certain that the tax load that you now bear isn’t going to increase.”

WHAT A RESTAURANT GUY IN TEXAS OUGHT BE ABLE TO DO: “I strongly believe that Congress should allow small businesses to pool risk across jurisdictional boundaries -- those are long words -- like if you’re a restaurant guy in Texas, you ought be able to put your employees in the same risk pool as a restaurant person in Maryland.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “I also know it’s in our interest to say to the world, treat us the way we treat you. In other words, all we want to do is be treated fairly.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, the product that they -- selling is more expensive because of the tariffs.”

WHAT GEORGE LOVES: “I love it when people can say, I have a idea, and I am going to apply all my talent and all my effort to see the idea come to fruition.”

Also today, for your captioning pleasure, Bush met with Dr. Michael DeBakey (who is 99 years old).

And so what are the folks, the experts, guys like Hubbard, anticipate to happen?

The Netherlands legalizes gay sex in public parks. Plan your vacations accordingly.

This morning Bush spoke at the Economic Club of New York.

He admitted that “our economy obviously is going through a tough time.” And why might that be, o mighty Master of Business Administration? “First of all, in a free market, there’s going to be good times and bad times. That’s how markets work.”


WHAT WE ARE: “I believe that we’re a resilient economy.”

MAKING THEIR BILLS DO WHAT? “Hardworking Americans are concerned -- they’re concerned about their families, and they’re concerned about making their bills.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “The rebates haven’t been put in the mail yet. In other words, this aspect of the plan hasn’t taken to effect.”


ANTICIPATION: “And so what are the folks, the experts, guys like Hubbard, anticipate to happen?”

THOSE WHO LIKE SPECULATED IN HOMES: “The purpose of government ought to be to help the individuals, not those who, like -- who speculated in homes.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “It’s a program that’s given FHA greater flexibility to offer refinancing for struggling homeowners with otherwise good credit. In other words, we’re saying to people, we want to help you refinance your notes.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, we’ve got an active plan to help us get through this rough period.”

PRINCIPLES: “We’re always open for new ideas, but there are certain principles that we won’t violate. And one of the principles is overreacting by federal law and federal regulation that will have long-term negative effects on our economy.”


ONE THING THAT’S CERTAIN: “One thing that’s certain that Congress will do is waste some of your money.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, Congress has got this habit of just sticking these deals into bills without a vote”.

GIVING CONGRESS ITS MARCHING ORDERS: “And then once they pass the Colombia, they can pass Panama and South Korea, as well.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “a lot of folks are worried about their neighbors losing work. In other words, they fear jobs moving overseas.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, a community college system -- the interesting thing about it, it’s probably the most market-driven education system in the United States.”

WHAT KIND OF A PERSON GEORGE IS: “I’m the kind of person who doesn’t give a darn about polls and focus groups, and I do what I think is right.”

ER, SOMETHING ABOUT GETTING TIRED: “And the danger of getting tired during this world [sic] is any retreat by the America -- by America was going to be to the benefit of those who want to do us harm.”

WHAT WE BETTER WORRY ABOUT: “And I’m saying, we better worry about the conditions that caused 19 kids to kill us in the first place.”

HE’S AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “You talk about the price of oil -- yeah, it’s high. It’s high because demand is greater than supply, is why it’s high.”

When war criminals meet (Caption Contest):

We wanted there to be consumption in our society

On the way to the ranch, Bush stopped in at something called World Wide Technology Inc. in Missouri because “it’s very important for the President to recognize success.” One assumes he meant that ironically.

He spoke about the state of the economy. “There’s a lot of data beginning to move.”

Some of that data, presented in IN OTHER WORDS form: “Today there was another report out that showed that we lost 20,000 jobs last month, even though the unemployment rate dropped to 5 percent. In other words, the unemployment rate went down.”

WHAT WE WANTED TO MAKE SURE: On the rebate: “we wanted to make sure that people were encouraged to be consumers. We wanted there to be consumption in our society”.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, there’s a -- you can effect the tax code that provides incentives for the CEOs to say, I think we need -- we ought to buy some equipment.” And why is it important for CEOs to buy some equipment? “it gives the employees a better chance to keep this company on a cutting edge.” Sounds painful.


IN OTHER WORDS: “And the effects of this aspect of the pro-growth plan are beginning to kick in, as well. In other words, it’s just starting.”

PAYING FOR THE PUMP: “I’m fully aware that people are paying dearly at the pump. ... The more that gasoline goes up, the more you’re paying -- the more you’re paying for the pump, the less money you have in your pocket to spend for your family.”

WHAT WILL BE VERY EXCITING FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE: “As you know, ethanol is beginning to take off, and I’m convinced we’re going to be able to make ethanol out of something other than corn here relatively quickly, like wood chips, or grasses grown in the desert, which will be very exciting for the American people.”

WHAT A LOT OF (UNNAMED) PEOPLE SAY: “I do want to talk about trade. It’s an interesting subject here in America. A lot of people who say, trade is bad for our country.”

SCARY THOUGHT OF THE DAY: “All I want is for America to be treated the way we treat other nations.”

IN OTHER WORDS: (On medical care): “The other thing is, is that one of the real cost-drivers -- or two other cost-drivers I want to discuss -- so in other words, consumerism helps deal with cost.”

The problem with The War Against Terror (TWAT): “so America has got to understand that in order to find them we’ve got to get in their heads. If you’re facing a nation, you can find the nation. If you’re facing people that bury [sic] in failed states you’ve got to understand how to find them.”

DIRTY NUMBER? “The way I put it, just so people can understand in plain English: If al Qaeda is making a phone call into the United States of America, we better know why; if you’re interested in protecting an attack, and there’s a dirty number being called, the government of the United States better understand the intentions and why that phone call is being made.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “so in other words, give our professionals tools. We got a lot of really good people working. We meet all the time; governments meeting constantly, ferreting out any information.”


EUPHEMISM ALERT: “So you say, where do you get numbers? We’re getting them off the computers of the people we’re capturing or bringing to justice.”

WHAT THE 9/11 HIJACKERS ARE: “And they’re sophisticated -- you know, 19 kids on three airplanes -- it’s a sophisticated operation -- four airplanes, excuse me. Sophisticated operation. And they’re good communicators.” I’m curious about the choice of the word “kids” for these, um, good communicators.

WHAT IT’S GOING TO TAKE TO SPREAD: “Someday an American President is going to be saying this is not that big an issue anymore. But it’s going to take an ideology to spread.”

One of the people asking questions began by noting that he was Japanese.

BUSH: And American?

Q: Yes.

BUSH: Well, then you’re American first.

“That’s right. Good point,” the questioner responded, thanking Bush for setting him straight about his own identity.

IN OTHER WORDS: “There turns out to be prosperity in developing world, which is good. It’s going to be good for you because you’ll be selling products into countries -- big countries perhaps -- and it’s hard to sell products into countries that aren’t prosperous. In other words, the more prosperous the world is, the more opportunity there is.”

IT’S HARD WORK: “Interestingly enough, it is a lot harder to have been the son of the president than to be the president.” Paging Dr. Freud.

He ended by telling that damned Romanian rainbow story again (he also did the Koizumi in Graceland story):

Now, the interesting thing from my perspective was that I was here, and there was a balcony lit in the town square, and I was told this was where the tyrant Ceausescu and his wife had made their last public appearance. And the story has it that he -- somebody started chanting, “Liar,” and he realized his power was slipping away, and then he tried to get out of there, and anyway, he was done in by the people. They were tired of him; he was a brutal guy.

And so that was my line of sight. And the President introduced me, and just as I got up to speak, a full rainbow appeared. And it was a startling moment. And I turned back -- Laura was like -- I went, look, baby, look up there. And so when I pointed up, 225,000 heads flipped around to look at the rainbow. I then ad-libbed, “God is smiling on Bucharest.” And the reason I did is because the rainbow ended right behind the balcony where the tyrant had given his last speech. Liberty is transformative, and it will yield the peace we want.

Playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal

More Bush interviews. Yesterday, with Israeli television.

HE HAS JEWISH FRIENDS? Describing Jenna’s wedding: “It was -- as my Jewish friends tell me, there was ‘Mazel tov.’” What, no knishes?

IN ORDER FOR PEACE TO SECURE: “Now, I’m sure people say, oh, Bush, man, he sounds hopelessly idealistic. But the truth of the matter is, in order for peace to secure, it’s that kind of idealism that has got to prevail.”


SCRAMBLING FOR THEIR SECURITY: “Look, I inherited -- when I came in office, there was an intifada. It’s hard in the middle of the intifada to be talking peace; I mean, you had people scrambling for their security.”

MOVING DOWN THE ROAD PRETTY GOOD: “the peace process between the Palestinians and Israelis, which frankly is moving down the road pretty good.”

Previewing his speech to the Knesset: “And I’m looking forward to telling people that I fully understand the nature of the world”.

He went right from there to an interview with Egyptian tv.

IN OTHER WORDS: Asked about the state of Egyptian democracy: “I would say fits and starts; good news and bad news. In other words, there’s been some moments where it looked like Egypt was going to continue to lead the Middle East on the democracy movement, and there’s been some setbacks.”

But what are a few “setbacks” (massive repression, complete lack of free elections, detention and torture of political prisoners, you know, those “setbacks”) between friends? “I try to balance, on the one hand, my beliefs, and on the other hand, a friendship with the government and friendship with President Mubarak.” It’s nice to see him admit outright that he can only be friends with Mubarak if he compromises on his beliefs.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ISRAEL! “And I will say that there’s been 60 years of struggling on both sides, and it’s time that the struggle has got to end.”


Asked about Jimmy Carter’s recent statement that the victims in Palestine were clearly suffering more than those in Israel (at least that’s what the interviewer says he said; I must have missed that one): “Well, everybody has got their opinions.”

Speaking of everybody having their opinions: “Most people don’t believe in using murder as a political tool. Most people want to live in peace, and so do I.”


IN OTHER WORDS: Asked to respond to the belief of Arabs that he has added to their sufferings: “I would just ask them to wait for history to answer the question. ... In other words, I understand people’s opinions. All I ask is that when history is finally recorded, judge whether or not I’ve been a contributor to peace or not.” Or not.

And today, the already infamous Politico/Yahoo News/Golf News Digest interview.

What’s curious to me is that it was the interviewer who brought up the golf question – “Mr. President, you haven’t been golfing in recent years. Is that related to Iraq?” Was he prepped to ask that question? Anyway, I know you’ve read this in 20 other blogs, but this is The Blog of Record, so here is Bush’s response in full:

Yes, it really is. I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander-in-chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be as — to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal. ... I remember when de Mello, who was at the U.N., got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man’s life. And I was playing golf — I think I was in central Texas — and they pulled me off the golf course and I said, it’s just not worth it anymore to do.

The golf wasn’t worth it anymore to do, not the war, you understand.


Further intense questioning brought out that George really likes the first Austin Powers movie and does a Dr. Evil impression.

THERE’S THAT WORD AGAIN: “I mean, part of the faith walk is to understand your weaknesses and is to constantly try to embetter yourself and get closer to the Lord. And that’s a daily occurrence.” Richard in comments suggested that the last appearance of that word was actually a transcription error and Bush actually said “embitter.” I’m guessing he really said “embutter.”

KIND OF WERE REAL SMOOTH: “I guess some presidencies are kind of were real smooth, there were no real big issues. Well, that’s not the way mine is.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “Look, I tell people — and this is an interesting thing — it’s harder to be the son of a President than to be the President. In other words, when people get after Dad it would cause all kinds of emotions, none of them very good, in my being.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, it took us a while to get to where we are — very dependent on oil, and in a world in which demand is greater than oil.”

I DON’T THINK EVERYBODY WOULD HAVE WENT THAT, I REALLY DON’T: “I could have supported a lousy treaty [the Kyoto accords] and everybody would have went, ‘Oh, man, what a wonderful sounding fellow he is.’ But it just wouldn’t have worked. I don’t think you want your president trying to be the cool guy and not end up with policies that actually make a difference.” It’s hard to be the cool guy when the ozone layer is gone.


Was he misled on Iraq?: “I feel like — I felt like there were weapons of mass destruction. You know, ‘mislead’ is a strong word, it almost connotes some kind of intentional — I don’t think so, I think there was a — not only our intelligence community, but intelligence communities all across the world shared the same assessment. And so I was disappointed to see how flawed our intelligence was.” We were all disappointed to see how flawed your intelligence is.

What, do you think I should have skipped that one just because it was too easy?

IN OTHER WORDS: “Americans at home ought to care for the advance of free societies throughout the Middle East, after all, this is the center of anti-Americanism and hatred. In other words, the people that attacked us on 9/11 came from this part of the world.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “By far the vast majority of people aren’t haters, and by far the vast majority of people don’t hate America. But there are enough to be able to recruit if forms of government repress people. In other words, if there’s hopelessness — there’s nothing more hopeless, by the way, than becoming a suicide bomber. And yet, these ideologues require hopeless situations.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, freedom is transformative.”

His assessment of the Democratic Congress: “I would call them, so far, good at verbiage and not so good at results.” Straight lines, what’s with all the straight lines today?

Asked to respond to Jimmy Carter’s recent comment on Charlie Rose that the next president could change the US’s image by saying in his inaugural speech, “As long as I’m President we will never torture another prisoner, as long as I’m President we will never attack or invade another country unless our own security is directly threatened,” Bush said,

Yes, well, what he ought to be saying is, is that America doesn’t torture. If the implication there is that we do now, then he’s wrong. And you bet we’re going to protect ourselves by the use of military force. What he really is implying is — or some imply — you can be popular; if you want to be popular in the Middle East just go blame Israel for every problem. That will make you popular. Or if you want to be popular in Europe, say you’re going to join the International Criminal Court. Popularity is fleeting, Michael. Principles are forever.

Or is it diamonds that are forever? I always get those things confused.

The reference to Israel, which Carter hadn’t even mentioned, is interesting.

On the Burmese junta’s response to the cyclone: “It’s taken these people too long to move. It’s almost as if they’re in a state of denial.” Denial: it’s not just a levee in New Orleans river in Egypt.


Also, a revealing must-read Hillary Clinton interview on Fafblog.

Bush press conference: Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas

This post is brought to you by Percocet and in loving memory of my abscessed right lower wisdom tooth, Pointy. For the first time in my life, I have an even number of teeth (I am a mutant).

Speaking of abscesses, this morning Bush held a press conference.

He started off by claiming that Democrats only support expanding the S-CHIP program of health insurance for children for political gain. How dare they support health insurance for children just because it’s popular with the American public! He said they “have decided to pass a bill they know that will be vetoed” (note the passive voice). So because they know that Bush is a stubborn bastard, they must intend to fail in order to have a campaign issue. “Health coverage for these children should not be held hostage while political ads are being made and new polls are being taken.” Was there ever such a cynical charge of cynicism?

One reporter got him on the record specifically opposing an increase in cigarette taxes to fund the program.



IN OTHER WORDS, IS WHAT HE SAID: “And I also said that progress will yield fewer troops. In other words, return on success, is what I said.”

He immediately followed that up with a U-Turn IN OTHER WORDS, in which two IN OTHER WORDSES took him right back to the original words: “There are two types of reconciliation, David. One is that reconciliation, that very visible reconciliation that happens through the passage of law. In other words, it’s reconciliation that shows the Iraqi people that people from different backgrounds can get along and, at the same time, that government can function. Clearly there needs to be work there. In other words, there needs to be the passage of law.”


A game of IN OTHER WORDS Bumper Cars (about North Korea): “In other words, whether it be the exportation of information and/or materials is an important part -- it doesn’t matter to us whether they do -- in terms of the six-party talks, because they’re both equally important, I guess is the best way to say it. In other words, we want -- it does matter -- let me rephrase that -- it matters whether they are, but the concept of proliferation is equally important as getting rid of programs and weapons.”

A PLAIN VANILLA IN OTHER WORDS: “The folks like Blackwater who provide security for the State Department are under rules of engagement -- in other words, they have certain rules.”


He said about the Blackwater incident, “Obviously, to the extent that innocent life was lost, you know, I’m saddened.” But only to that extent. So there will be a joint US-Iraqi commission to investigate the extent to which Bush is saddened: “I want to find out the facts about exactly what took place there in the theater and that’s exactly what we’re about to find out.”


But that’s not the only thing ensaddening him. Asked about the Jena incident, he replied, “The events in Louisiana are -- have saddened me. I understand the emotions.” Well, he’s heard of them, anyway.


(Before I forget, the White House issued one of those “Responding to Key Myths” papers about Iraq. Among other things, it proved that Maliki is not an agent of Iran thusly: “Maliki is an Iraqi nationalist who does not speak Persian”. Quod erat demonstrandum.)

Maliki is not, however, a Nelson Mandela: “I thought an interesting comment was made when somebody said to me, I heard somebody say, where’s Mandela? Well, Mandela is dead, because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas.” Even Winnie?

This Mandela line, which passed from Ryan Crocker to Condi and now to Bush, provoked this comment from me last week: “So basically what they’re saying is that if any of the current crop of Iraqi politicians had been any damned good, they wouldn’t be alive.”


Bush thinks the MoveOn “General Betray Us” ad was “disgusting,” and an attack on the entire military. Which is nonsense. Also disgusting: Democrats. “And I was disappointed that not more leaders in the Democrat Party spoke out strongly against that kind of ad. And that leads me to come to this conclusion: that most Democrats are afraid of irritating a left-wing group like MoveOn.org -- or more afraid of irritating them than they are of irritating the United States military.”

So sad:

Q: Mr. President, former Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld recently was asked if he missed you. He said, no. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: I miss him.

(Update: see, I knew I’d miss something, with the drugs and the pain and everything: “We dealt with a recession, a terrorist attack and corporate scandals. And we did it by cutting taxes.”)

In other words, I didn’t anticipate war

Obama has announced his national security team (of rivals), and he has an adjective he’d like you to remember about them: “I assembled this team because I am a strong believer in strong personalities and strong opinions.”

Tonight, ABC will air the interview Charlie Gibson conducted with George and Laura Bush last week.

WE’RE IN: “the American people got to know that we will safeguard the [financial] system. I mean, we’re in. And if we need to be in more, we will.”

FAITH AND CONFIDENT: “I’ve got faith that the economy will recover. As a matter of fact, I’m confident it will recover.”

WHAT THE QUESTION IS: “And the question is, is it worth it to save the system, to safeguard the system? And I came to the conclusion, along with other smart people, that it is.” Other smart people? OTHER smart people??!!

DURING I ARRIVED IN PRESIDENT: asked if he feels responsible for the financial meltdown: “You know, I’m the President during this period of time, but I think when the history of this period is written, people will realize a lot of the decisions that were made on Wall Street took place over a decade or so, before I arrived in President, during I arrived in President.”

PRESENT COMPANY EXCEPTED: Asked how high unemployment will go: “Too high. I mean, anybody unemployed is too much.”

MOVIN’ BIG: “And on the other hand, though, when you’re the President and somebody says, we better move big, Mr. President, otherwise we could have a depression greater than the Great -- we’re moving big.”

IN OTHER WORDS: What the presidency has been like: “Some days we’re not so happy, some days happy. Every day has been pretty joyous, though -- that when you have a purpose in life, that no matter what it may look like from afar, that we’re a highly motivated group of people that are honored to serve. In other words, I think people look at the White House and say, oh, man, what a miserable experience it is to be President.”

Later, he clarified the joyous thing: “I don’t want people to misconstrue. It’s not -- I don’t feel joyful when somebody loses their life, nor do I feel joyful from somebody loses a job. That concerns me.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “And the President ends up carrying a lot of people’s grief in his soul during a presidency. One of the things about the presidency is you deal with a lot of tragedy -- whether it be hurricanes, or tornadoes, or fires, or death -- and you spend time being the Comforter-in-Chief. But the idea of being able to serve a nation you love is -- has been joyful. In other words, my spirits have never been down. I have been sad, but the spirits are up.” Well that just makes the hurricanes and tornadoes and fires and death all worth while.

A VERY SPECIAL DOUBLE REVERSE IN OTHER WORDS: “Well, I think I was unprepared for war. In other words, I didn’t campaign and say, ‘Please vote for me, I’ll be able to handle an attack.’ In other words, I didn’t anticipate war.”

Did McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin help or hurt him? “I think it helped John. It energized the party. It -- I can remember when she first was named, young women in our office were saying, isn’t it great that a woman is in a position to serve on the ticket now, to maybe be Vice President of the United States.” I know it sounds like he’s completely forgotten about Geraldine Ferraro but, to be fair, for most of 1984 he was really really drunk.

IN OTHER WORDS: “I think most people voted for Barack Obama because they decided they wanted him to be in their living room for the next four years explaining policy. In other words, they made a conscious choice to put him in as president.”

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD: “I think one of the big disappointments of the presidency has been the fact that the tone in Washington got worse, not better.”

Asked what the country thinks of George now, Laura said, “I think they think he’s somebody that kept them safe for eight years.”

WHAT GEORGE’S BIGGEST REGRET IS: “the biggest regret of all the presidency has to have been the intelligence failure in Iraq. A lot of people put their reputations on the line and said the weapons of mass destruction is a reason to remove Saddam Hussein. It wasn’t just people in my administration; a lot of members in Congress, prior to my arrival in Washington D.C., during the debate on Iraq, a lot of leaders of nations around the world were all looking at the same intelligence. And, you know, that’s not a do-over, but I wish the intelligence had been different, I guess. ... That is a do-over that I can’t do.”

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: Asked, what is your “Greatest accomplishment? The one thing you’re proudest of?” BUSH: “I keep recognizing we’re in a war against ideological thugs and keeping America safe.”

Greatest disappointment? BUSH: “Well, I mentioned one, and that is no weapons of mass destruction.” So disappointing.

WHEREIN GEORGE BUSH SAYS SOMETHING I TOTALLY AND UNRESERVEDLY AGREE WITH: “I’d like to live life without the limelight for a while. I don’t -- I think it’s going to be real important for me to get off the stage.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Steve Hadley and I were sitting around... I said, wouldn’t it be interesting for baby boomers not to retire in nice places, but to retire -- during their retirement, go help people deal with malaria or AIDS. In other words -- and I’m not suggesting that’s what I’m going to do, but it is the kind of thing that intrigues me.” Oh God, don’t they have enough to deal with, with the malaria or AIDS?

BUBBLE BABBLE: “Oh, I don’t know. I mean, you’re going to have to be in a bubble during this here because the enemy would like to do nothing more than do you in. So, I mean, that’s a necessary part of the job. You know, yes -- I mean, believe me you understand what’s going on in the world. This idea about how the president doesn’t understand this, that, or the other, just simply is not the case. I mean, there’s a lot of information that comes through the White House.”

THE COMFORTER-IN-CHIEF IS ALWAYS THE COMFORTED PERSON: “Well, I’ll miss being Commander-in-Chief. ... And I’ll miss -- and it’s going to sound strange to you -- I’ll miss meeting with the families whose son or daughter have fallen in combat, because the meetings I’ve had with the families are so inspirational.” So it’s all been worth while, as long as their deaths are so inspirational for you, because it’s all about you, you callous fucking egomaniac. “They -- I mean, obviously, there’s a lot of sadness, and we cry, and we hug, and we occasionally laugh. And we share -- I listen to stories. But the Comforter-in-Chief is always the comforted person. Believe it or not, I’ll miss going to the hospitals as the Commander-in-Chief, and looking a kid in the eye, and have him say, heal me up, Mr. President, I want to go back in.” Believe it... or not. Actually, I can believe it, you... did I already call you a callous fucking egomaniac?

Laura says she talked to Michelle Obama about closets but not about the job of First Lady: “she didn’t ask for any advice like that, and I didn’t give her any.” But if Michelle had asked, what advice would Laura have given her? Answers in comments, please.

In other words, he was a comforter

George Bush was interviewed by Candy Crowley on CNN about his book on his father. Hey, did you know his father was ALSO president? What’re the odds?

IN OTHER WORDS: “Well, I think I’m introducing him to our country in a way no one’s ever known him. In other words, he’s an extraordinary person, not only because of his accomplishments but because of his character.”

PLEASE, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW A PRETZEL WORKS: “And secondly I understand how history works; it takes a long time for people to get to know him, get to know somebody and then analyze their decisions. But I wanted to be one of the first people out in the evaluation of George H.W. Bush.” Most of the rest of us actually evaluated him when he was president, but George was pretty drunk those entire four years.

MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY. “And it’s a love story. I mean, there’s - I love him.”

IN OTHER WORDS: He denies having daddy issues: “Yeah, stiff competition is overstated. In other words if you love somebody as much as I love my dad, and my brothers loved my dad, my sister, there’s no need to compete.”

He says he didn’t discuss presidential stuff with his father: “And I think part of it has to do with how he raised us, and that is I love you no matter what you do.” Or he just gave up on you ever getting anything right a long time ago.

IN OTHER WORDS: “But I hope when people read this, and I hope they do, is that they understand that when he reached across and grabbed my arm after the speech on September the 14 in the National Cathedral, I mean, incredibly emotional moment for me, it was in many ways symbolic of what he’d meant for me as president. In other words, he was a comforter. A lot.” No, he just seemed like a comforter because he was feather-brained.

DOESN’T KNOW A LOT OF ADJECTIVES, DOES HE? “and so he was confident I had a good team and that I would make decisions based upon good judgments of a lot of good advisers.”

IN OTHER WORDS: Still won’t admit being wrong about Putin’s soul. “Well, I think he’s become more zero-sum type thinker. In other words... it’s almost as if he says that if the - if the West wins, I lose. And if I win, the West loses. As opposed to what can we do together to enhance our respective positions?”

He explains how to defeat ISIS: “Well, first thing is there has to be a goal, and the president has laid out what I think is a good goal, and that is to degrade and defeat ISIS.” Why, that’s so crazy it might just work!

IN OTHER WORDS: On Jeb: “So when you’re weighing the presidency, you think, ‘Do I fear success?’ In other words, can I handle it if I win?” But he has “no clue where his head is now” and hasn’t talked with Jeb about 2016. Jeb hasn’t called to ask for advice, George hasn’t called to ask if he’s running. Tell us again all about how close your family is, George.

He also has “no clue” about whether Hillary will run for president in the conservatory with a candle stick.

Similarly, “The [Eric Garner grand jury] verdict was hard to understand”. Also, door knobs.

“But it’s sad that race continues to play such a, you know, kind of emotional, divisive part of life. I remember back in when I was a kid, in the ‘70s...” George was born in 1946. “...and there was race riots with cities being burned. And I just think we’ve improved. I had dinner with Condi the other night and we talked about this subject, and, yes, she just said you got understand that there are a lot of, you know, black folks around that are just incredibly more and more distrusting of law enforcement.” And then I forgot she wasn’t the maid and told her to clear the plates.

The Eric Garner video is “very disturbing to me. And, yes. I mean it just - it calls into question what needs to be done to heal...” Er, nothing, he’s dead. The cop choked him to death.

“...to get the country united again.” And there you go: the poster boy for unearned white privilege thinks there was a golden age of race relations, if we could only figure out how to return to it.

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It’s hard to do the hard things now

I haven’t listened to it yet myself, but the BBC just started a 6-part (radio) production of Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. The first episode will be available here until the 2nd one airs next Wednesday, and so on.

This morning Bush spoke to the Lancaster (PA) Chamber of Commerce and Industry. And answered some questions.

He explained his job: “My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.”


He explained economics: “But I just want to make sure you understand what I know, and that is prosperity occurs because people work hard and dream dreams, and work to fulfill those dreams.” Of course if they’re working hard and dreaming dreams at the same time, it would be good if they weren’t forklift operators. Also, when Bush talks about people having dreams, those dreams are always money-based, aren’t they?

A VERY FISCAL DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “The job of the government is to create fiscal policy such that people feel inspired or confident in risking capital. In other words, the job of government is to create an environment that encourages entrepreneurship. One of the issues that we’re going to be facing in Washington, D.C. is how to spend your money. In other words, what do we do with the good money that we’ve -- the good money we’ve collected?” As opposed to bad money, where Benjamin Franklin has a goatee.

IN OTHER WORDS: “I want to tell you a startling statistic, that based on their own states’ projections -- in other words, this isn’t a federal projection, it’s the states saying this is what’s happening...”


CONDESCENDING TWIT: “Poor children in America are covered by what’s called Medicaid.”

That factoid is intended to justify his veto of the S-CHIP bill, of which he says: “here’s the thing, just so you know, this program expands coverage, federal coverage up to families earning $83,000 a year. That doesn’t sound poor to me. The intent of the program was to focus on poor children, not adults or families earning up to $83,000 a year.”

He used the words “intent” or “initial intent” a lot, as in: “I believe in helping poor people -- which was the intent of S-CHIP, now being expanded beyond its initial intent.” He sounds like one of his judges invoking the original intent of the founding fathers, except in this case the founding father of S-CHIP was, um, Ted Kennedy.


Later on, he talked about No Child Left Behind and the importance of education, but first... “I got a lot of Ph.D.-types and smart people around me who come into the Oval Office and say, Mr. President, here’s what’s on my mind. And I listen carefully to their advice. But having gathered the device [sic], I decide, you know, I say, this is what we’re going to do. And it’s ‘yes, sir, Mr. President.’ ... I always tell Condi Rice, I want to remind you, Madam Secretary, who has the Ph.D. and who was the C student. (Laughter.) And I want to remind you who the advisor is and who the President is. (Laughter.)” And you know, I’ll bet Condi pretends to laugh each and every time he says that, and grits her teeth and dies a little bit inside, each and every time.

You know, the thought of Condi pretending to laugh and gritting her teeth and dying a little bit inside brightens my whole day. Does that make me a bad person?

CONDESCENDING TWIT II: “This war is really hard for the American people to understand because the enemy uses asymmetrical warfare.”

A VERY AGRICULTURAL IN OTHER WORDS: “I believe it’s in the interest of local farmers to have markets available to them. In other words, a core principle of any good farm policy is for the administration to work to open up markets.”

A VERY AGRICULTURAL DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “I believe very strongly that programs that encourage overproduction are programs that need to be seriously evaluated. In other words, I’d rather you selling into existing markets than producing where there be no market. In other words, it’s a combination -- look, I’m a safety-net person for farmers.”

A VERY ENVIRONMENTAL AND VERY CONFUSED IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words -- and so what I’m beginning to tell you is -- what I am -- not beginning, what I am telling you is that we have a comprehensive strategy to deal with energy security and environmental quality at the same time.”

IN FRONT OF THE WHAT NOW? “I gave a speech the other day in front of the major economies of the world.”



NO YOU DON’T GOT TO: “If you’re an environmentalist and concerned about greenhouse gases, you got to be for nuclear power.”

MORE INSIGHT INTO THE BUSHIAN MANAGEMENT STYLE (HINT: YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW THE NAMES OF ANY OF YOUR SUBORDINATES): “And so, in the meantime, however, this border security initiative is still going on down there on the border. I’m constantly in touch with the person in charge. I said, here’s what you said you’re going to do; are you’re doing it? That’s one of the jobs of the President, is to hold people to account. I’m interested in results. I said, you’re going to come in and check in with me on a regular basis to show me what’s happening. And it’s amazing what happens -- I’m sure you do this in your businesses -- you say, you show up and give me an accounting of what’s taken place.”

ASKED ABOUT THE PROSPECTS FOR AN ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN DEAL: “So one of the interesting breakthroughs has been that the Israelis have come to believe, and rightly so, that it’s in their long-term interest that we work toward a Palestinian democracy. Otherwise, the demographics will overwhelm the Israeli democracy.” Maybe the Palestinians shouldn’t be taking advice about democracy from someone who thinks it can be “overwhelmed” by demographics.

“And so one of the things Condi and I are working on is to see if we can’t get the two parties to agree on what a state would look like so that the average Palestinian says, wait a minute, I’m sick and tired of this violence; I’m not going to support those who espouse radicalism and violence in order to achieve an objective, because here’s a different vision.” You know, I’m pretty sure there will never come a time when the average, or indeed when any, Palestinian actually says, “Wait a minute, I’m sick and tired of this violence; I’m not going to support those who espouse radicalism and violence in order to achieve an objective, because here’s a different vision.”

WHOSE BORDER?: “Iran is using Hezbollah in Lebanon, and is worried about democracy in the Middle East; can’t stand the thought of a democratic government on our border; is creating issues of peace.”

SO TRUE: “It’s hard to do the hard things now.”

I was a little surprised when the “childrens is learning” line got so much play, when he commits similar grammatical grotesqueries every single day hour minute. Presumably it was because it came during remarks about education. Anyhoo: “I believe strongly that Pell Grants is one good way of helping families afford higher education.”

But, just as he doesn’t think families earning $83,000 could have difficulties affording health insurance for their children, neither does he think finding the $83,000 or whatever it costs these days for a college education is that big a deal: “My view is this, that if you work hard and you want to go to college, you can find all the help you want. Now, some people don’t like repaying loans, but that’s part of life. If we can borrow some of your money -- if somebody’s going to borrow some of your money, they ought to repay your money.”

A VERY EDUMACATIONAL IN OTHER WORDS: “And so therefore we said, you design the tests. In other words, I said, you design the tests, not the federal government.”

Asked about the twins: “And that was -- I really wrestled with the decision to run for President because, of all the candidates, I understand what it means to be a son or daughter of a President.” Um, Jenna and Not-Jenna were just entering college; you were in your 40s when your father became president. Just saying.

George played a game of let’s humiliate the nice lady from the food bank trying to ask why you killed the supplemental commodity food program (which you can’t even remember):

CHIMPY: Well, you raised your hand. (Laughter.) You didn’t mean it? You want -- you want a little chance to collect the thoughts, you know? I mean we’re talking national TV here, you know? (Laughter and applause.)

Q: I actually wrote it down so I wouldn’t get flustered.

CHIMPY: Yes -- it didn’t work. (Laughter.) It’s just the President.

Prick.

How did this woman get in?

Sorry, I can’t resist (and I did try, sort of): ...and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

If our definition is no more suiciders, you’ve just basically said to the suiciders, go ahead

Bush gave a speech and q&a at Tippecanoe High School in Tipp City, Ohio. It was a long speech, and photographers got a little fascinated by one burly Secret Service agent with no neck.


He said, “You know, it’s a -- there is -- the President spends time at disasters.” Trying to look innocent.

Okay, okay, he was actually talking about Virginia Tech, that disaster. But a disaster in which Bush finds a silver lining: “And the amazing thing is, though, when you go down to a scene like Virginia Tech, you can’t help but be buoyed by the spirit that out of the tragedy comes a certain sense of resolve.” So that’s okay, then.


Bush does stick with his little phrases with a steely persistence long after they’ve become a laughing stock. “My job is a job to make decisions. I’m a decision -- if the job description were, what do you do -- it’s decision-maker.” And you know what “deeply affected” his decision-making? Would you believe 9/11? “I realized that there is an enemy of the United States that is active and is lethal.” What was your first clue?

“I also know full well that it’s important for us if we’re facing an ideology, if we’re facing ideologues, if we’re confronting people who believe something, that we have got to defeat their belief system with a better belief system. Forms of government matter, in my opinion.” And ours is a reverse meritocracy.

“And now we’re involved in -- I call it a global war against terror. You can’t call it a global war against extremists, a global war against radicals, a global war against people who want to hurt America; you can call it whatever you want, but it is a global effort.” I think we know what I want to call it, but who, one wonders, prefers to call it a global war against people who want to hurt America (GWAPWWTHA)?


In fact, Bush was unusually permissive about vocabulary today: “The question was, do we increase our -- I call it, reinforce, you can call it, surge, there’s all kind of words for it...”

On Iraq: “It’s easy to forget the elections because of all the violence.” How true. “People often ask me, what are we seeing on TV? What’s happening with the violence? Here’s my best analysis: One, the spectaculars you see are al Qaeda inspired. They claim credit for a lot of the big bombings.” Really, that actually is his best analysis. Also: spectaculars? But we should all just ignore the violence and maybe it will go away: “If the definition of success in Iraq or anywhere is no suicide bombers, we’ll never be successful. ... Think about that: if our definition is no more suiciders, you’ve just basically said to the suiciders, go ahead.”


Reading the transcript, I was actually impressed that Bush used “whom” correctly in a sentence. This, however, was the next sentence: “And yet they -- and yet, the enemy -- and the enemy -- when I say, enemy, these are enemies of free societies, primarily al Qaeda inspired -- blew up the great religious shrine in ‘06, a year ago -- all aiming to create a sense of sectarian violence, all aiming to exacerbate the religious tensions that sometimes were exacerbated under Saddam Hussein, all aiming at preventing this young democracy from succeeding. And they succeeded.” “All aiming” or “all aimed,” by the way, is his new favorite phrase.

“Interesting” made something of a come-back: “It’s interesting here in Tipp City, the first thing that happened was a moment of silence”. “It’s an interesting war, isn’t it, where asymmetrical warfare is... not only, obviously, kills a lot of innocent people, like which happened yesterday in Iraq, but also helps define whether or not we’re successful.” “Isn’t it interesting, when you really take a step back and think about what I just said, that al Qaeda is making serious moves in Iraq, as is surrogates for Iran.” “Isn’t it interesting that it’s the democracies of the Middle East that are having the most problem with the extremists? I think it is.” “It’s an interesting force posture to be in.”

COMMITMENT ISSUES: “[If we withdraw from Iraq] It would confirm their sense that the United States is incapable of long-term commitments, incapable of -- it would confirm their commitment that they think we’re soft, let me put it to you that way. That’s what they think. I didn’t necessarily mean that the United States has to kind of muscle up for the sake of muscling up. That’s not what I’m trying to say. But I do believe it is risky to have an enemy that has attacked us before to not take the United States seriously for the long run.”

SENTENCES I’M QUOTING OUT OF CONTEXT, JUST BECAUSE: “I would call these times consequential times.” Or possibly Susan. “If you’ve got a chicken factory, a chicken-plucking factory, or whatever you call them, you know what I’m talking about.” “The reason I brought up the rug was to not only kind of break the ice, but also to talk about strategic thought.”

On Virginia Tech: “One of the lessons of these tragedies is to make sure that when people see somebody, or know somebody who is exhibiting abnormal behavior, to do something about it, to suggest that somebody take a look”. Well, there’s this dude, in like a suit, with like a microphone, at Tippecanoe High School, and he’s like talking really funny...

Asked the difference between Iraq and Vietnam, he said that Iraq voted for a constitution and that there was a North Vietnam and a South Vietnam. But if we leave Iraq, there will be something like the Khmer Rouge.

IN OTHER WORDS ROUND-UP: On the Iraq spending bill: “I submitted what the Pentagon thinks it needs. In other words, the process works where I ask the Pentagon, how much do you need? What do you need to do the job?” On immigration: “it’s in the interest of the country that people who are here be assimilated in a way that -- with our traditions and history. In other words, those who eventually become citizens be assimilated. In other words, one of the great things about America is we’ve been able to assimilate people from different backgrounds and different countries.” Yes, that was one of his death-defying Double In Other Words. Here’s another: “In other words, if what happens overseas matters to the United States, therefore, the best way to protect us is to deal with threats overseas. In other words, we just can’t let a threat idle”. On Medicare: “We gave seniors choices. In other words, we created more of a marketplace.” On immigration again: In other words, the law that we have in place has created an entire underground system of smugglers, inn keepers, and document forgers. And that’s not the American way, by the way.” Un-American innkeepers. On – oh who cares what it’s on: “In other words, one of my concerns is that there is a gap.” In less than an hour and a half, there were 18 in other wordses. Er, in other words’s. In other wordsi. In other wordsae. Or, as the kids would pluralize it, in other wordz.

A dropped microphone provided Bush and the local chamber of commerce president to enact the slapstick comedy stylings of Tippecanoe and Tyler Too.

Staying strong when it comes to liberty as a transformative agent to bring the peace we want

Bush gave a speech today at something called the American Legislative Exchange Council (evidently a group of right-wing state legislators).

He told them, “I believe in that old Texas adage, if you don’t stand for something, you don’t believe in anything.” Or possibly vice versa. I’m pretty sure that’s not an old adage from Texas or anywhere else.

He says that a $2,200 tax break means a lot to the farmer “out there who’s worried about making crop”. Well, if he’s making crop rather than growing crops, that could be the problem right there.


IN OTHER WORDS: “Since August of 2003, when these tax cuts took full effect, we’ve increased new jobs by 8.2 million. In other words, people are working.”

IN OTHER WORDS: On Democrats in Congress: “In other words, they’re now in charge; it’s important that they exercise their responsibility.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, Tommy, we’ll be driving pickup trucks that may not be running on gasoline.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “We were attacked by a group of ruthless killers who have an ideology. In other words, they believe something.”

THE EVER-POPULAR, DEATH-DEFYING DOUBLE IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, there wasn’t enough security at the time -- in other words, enough confidence in the security at the time amongst the Iraqi people to be able to stop people from fighting each other.”

He wants the Pentagon budget passed before any of the other appropriations bill, and before the August recess. “We got troops in harm’s way.”

He wants to do something about earmarks, which these time he didn’t call entitlements, because – and see if you can read this without laughing – “I believe in accountability when it comes to spending your money. We want there to be transparency.”

He reiterated his belief that “some unbelievable technologies,” “optimistic things that are coming” will take care of all our energy and environmental problems without anybody having to change their lifestyle or – heaven forfend – drive a vehicle that looks like a golf cart. “I mean, we’ve got a comprehensive plan that says, technology and free enterprise can help us achieve energy independence. That’s what we want.”

“You know, one of the real problems we have in America is an achievement gap. I guess that’s a fancy word for saying that generally Anglo kids are doing better in the basics than African American or Latino kids.” He thinks “achievement gap” is one word. Excuse me, achievementgap. Say, that is a fancy word.

The achievementgap is a problem because “The economy is going to demand brain power as we head into the 21st century”. Sure, because we’ll be fueling those vehicles that don’t look like golf carts...with brains. “It’s people! Chevron Green is made out of people!!”

I’ve been cutting down on the number of Bush grammatical mistakes I point out in each of these Bush-speech posts, because it just gets long and tedious, with all the subject/verb agreement issues and the dropped articles, but who can resist when the subject is education: “When you find an inner-city kid that may not have the right curriculum to get he or she up to the grade level at the 4th grade, let’s solve it now”.


And, of course, he spoke about The War Against Terror (TWAT). “When I talk about a caliphate that stretches from Spain to Indonesia, that means that they want to impose their ideology on people.”

And what would such a caliphate be like? “Well, I just want you to remember -- think what it would be like to be a young girl growing up in Afghanistan, when they were able to find their safe haven and impose their vision across that country.” Note that he thinks Afghanistan was ruled by Al Qaida.

“These people, they’re smart, they’re tough, and we need to be tougher every single day.” Evidently we don’t also need to be smarter than them. Hate for George to strain something.

“See, they understand when they fill our TV screens with death and misery it causes a compassionate people to recoil.” Also, any stories about Lindsay Lohan. “They know that we value human life, and therefore, when they take human life it affects how the American people feel.”

He carefully analyzes these wannabe tv producers: “And then this enemy -- and the enemy, by the way, is comprised of people who wish they were still in power, disgruntled militia that are trying to make -- see if they can’t take advantage of some chaos. But the enemy that is causing the biggest spectaculars is al Qaeda.”

He says there is a debate in Washington, “well, is the al Qaeda in Iraq have anything to do with the al Qaeda that’s hiding out somewhere in the regions of Afghanistan and Pakistan? There’s some actually who say, well, they’re different”. George, of course, thinks differently: “And they have sworn allegiance to Osama bin Laden, and they agree that Iraq is the central part of this war on terror, with Osama bin Laden. And they agree with his ambition to drive us out so they could have a safe haven from which to plot further attacks. Yes, al Qaeda in Iraq is dangerous to the United States of America. They blew up the holy shrine. They saw the progress being made; they can’t stand the thought of a free society that will thwart their ambitions, and they blew up the shrine.” I’ve been trying to decide whether to call this strategy of obfuscatory revisionism 1) rebunking or 2) embunkening. What do you think?


“It’s really interesting to watch this counterinsurgency strategy work. I mean, when people on the ground begin to have confidence, they, all of a sudden, start making good decisions for a state that will represent their interests.”

There were a couple of other “All of a sudden”s. That’s one of his phrases that you don’t hear for a while, then he can’t shut it off. “Then all of a sudden, you begin to get a sense of our strategy on how to handle the deficit...” “And all of a sudden, we put more Marines in, the people saw things change on the ground...”

George has a curious faith in the power of motherhood, considering the hell-beast who spawned him: “See, I believe most Muslim mothers, for example, want their child to grow up in peace. I believe there’s something universal about motherhood. I don’t think mothers in America think necessarily different from mothers in Iraq. I think the mother in Iraq says, gosh, I hope for the day when my child can go outside and play and not fear violence”. What’s the Arabic for gosh?

BEGIN THE BEGUINE: “And when people begin to see that these thugs that have a dark vision begin to get defeated, people begin to change attitudes.”

WHO IS MORE CONFUSED IN THIS SENTENCE, BUSH, AL QAIDA IN IRAQ, OR MANY EXPERTS? YOU BE THE JUDGE: “Last November, many experts said that Anbar province, which al Qaeda in Iraq has stated as their -- that they wanted as a safe haven -- this was going to be where they were going to launch their caliphate from -- they said, we can’t win there.”

“Now, I know that the car bombs that take place tend to cloud people’s vision.” Is that how The Shadow did it? I always wondered.

If you’re counting the pop cultural references in this post, that’s Soylent Green, Lindsay Lohan, Cole Porter, and The Shadow. I’m nothing if not versatile.

“See, unlike some wars, this enemy wouldn’t be content to stay in Iraq.” Well, sure, have you seen Iraq lately? “They would follow us here.... They’re dangerous in Iraq, and they’ll be dangerous here.”

And he concluded: “But I would remind you, in the long run, the best way for your children and grandchildren to be able to say that when given a tough task, this generation didn’t flinch, and had certain faith -- had faith in certain values -- is that we stay strong when it comes to liberty as a transformative agent to bring the peace we want.”

And then he went home for the Special Olympics Global Law Enforcement Torch Run Ceremony. No idea what that is. I’m thinking Don Knotts in the Andy Griffith Show and Murray the Cop in The Odd Couple. Caption contest: