Heartbreaking

Ariel Sharon says the sight of Gaza settlers being removed from their homes is “heartbreaking” (although his heart is composed entirely of lard – does lard break?) and “It’s impossible to watch this without tears in the eyes.” I know, I’ve been laughing pretty hard too.

Really, just pure...

...comic genius.

In unhelpful ways

After the London Metropolitan Police shot the Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes to death July 22, everything they said to justify the shooting was, it turns out, a lie. He did not run or jump a turnstile. He was not wearing a bulky jacket. Not only did he not refuse orders to halt, but he was already under restraint when they shot him in the head, seven times. This was an extra-judicial execution. And the reason they thought he was a terrorist at all was because the cop who was supposed to have identified the people who left his apartment building was, um, busy relieving himself instead. No information has been released on whether it was onesies or twosies, but I expect them to lie about that as well. Details in any British newspaper, and Lenin’s Tomb is all over it too. It’s not just that they lied, but that they knew that at least some of those lies would inevitably be exposed. They decided, in a move we Americans know all too well, to lie in order to survive the initial news cycle of the story. After that, the damage would be less, and the public is used to be being lied to. I’ll be interested to see if Met Commissioner Sir Ian Blair is hounded from public life as he deserves.

It’s been fun watching the Bushies, who cared so much more about getting an Iraqi constitution by the 15th than about getting it right, spin the postponement. Ambassador Khalizad said not to “take seriously the posturing that goes on outside”. Condescend much? Those are the Madisons and Jeffersons of Iraq, you know. And Condi says there is “considerable momentum.” Suddenly I’m reminded of “Joementum.”

Rumsfeld accuses Cuba and Venezuela of involving themselves in Bolivian politics “in unhelpful ways,” without elucidating or offering any proof. They never do. He also insisted that South America’s problems “don’t lend themselves to single-nation solutions.” In other words those countries require somebody – but who, oh who? – to become involved in their politics in, you know, helpful ways.

Your shorts are torn there, Mr. President. Tell us about that.

A reader from South Korea has informed me that Blogspot and Typepad blogs were mostly inaccessible in that country for several days, coinciding with the visit of a North Korean delegation for Liberation Day. He surmises that the blackout was part of a general sucking up process that including banning South Korean flags and slogans from a soccer match between teams from the two Koreas; so they might have been afraid that some blogger would cause an international incident by being beastly to the North Koreans. This happened once before. While some Korean blogs are following this, a news.google search shows no news stories at all.

Back in America, reporters from the free press ask George Bush the hard-hitting questions... about mountain biking:

Q: Your shorts are torn there, Mr. President. Tell us about that.
Q: Do you have now in your possession, or have you ever had a pair of form fitting lycra shorts?

They also asked whether he shaves his legs.

He does not.

Futile >adjective: producing no useful result; pointless

WaPo headline: “Roberts Unlikely To Face Big Fight: Many Democrats See Battle as Futile.” Funny, that’s how many of us would describe the Democrats. Evidently they’re saving up their energy for the next nominee. Or possibly the one after that.

Also from the WaPo, re Iraq: “State television, poised to air the historic National Assembly session, instead broadcast seldom-seen footage of torture and executions carried out by the government of President Saddam Hussein.”

A tribute to democracy and an example that difficult problems can be solved peacefully through debate, negotiation and compromise

If I understand this correctly, the Iraqi “National Assembly” didn’t quite break the rules in voting themselves another week to come to a deal, but since the rules were written by Americans anyway, who cares. The thing is, there is no consensus on any of the fundamentals, and I don’t know how you construct a state without that. You compromise on where to go for lunch, not on whether to have a federal form of government or not. These people simply do not want to be in the same state; the Shiites hate the Sunnis, the Sunnis hate the Kurds, the Kurds hate the Turkmen, and everybody hates... well, the Tom Lehrer fans know who everybody hates. As long as they’re all stuck in the same state together, it looks like political divisions will all break down along ethnic lines, and that always works so well.

Of course Talabani and the Bushies are making it sound like they’re just checking for typos, split infinitives, that sort of thing (the American ambassador blamed that darned sandstorm). Bush himself said that the “heroic efforts” of the negotiators “are a tribute to democracy and an example that difficult problems can be solved peacefully through debate, negotiation and compromise.” Well, it’s August, and we know he never reads his briefing papers in August.

(Update: Ah, Billmon wrote everything I did, but better and earlier, and some stuff I didn’t think of. Some days are like that.)

Once homosexuality is defined as a constitutional right, there is nothing the states can do about it

At Justice Sunday II, James Dobson, the master of oblivious irony, called the Supreme Court “unelected, unaccountable and arrogant.” “All wisdom does not reside in nine persons in black robes,” said Tom DeLay, the man in the black toupee. And Robert Bork, the poster boy for advice and consent, said, “once homosexuality is defined as a constitutional right, there is nothing the states can do about it, nothing the people can do about it.” What on earth does he mean by “homosexuality as a constitutional right?” A right for homosexuals to physically exist? Ass-fucking? Daring to speak the love that dare not speak its name? Bork is living proof that one can also be driven mad by lack of power.

JS2 was supposed to be a pep rally for the Roberts nomination, but with news of his youthful indiscretion, experimenting with pro, ahem, bono work on behalf of gay rights, they reverted to their default position of court-bashing, engaging in anti-judicial-activism activism. Most of them weren’t that happy with a man whose church is the Whore of Babylon anyway.

I believe the adjective most often applied to the Supreme Court at JS2 was arrogant, this from people who claim to know God’s will because he told it to them personally.

John McCain defends Bush’s threat to use military force against Iran. McCain is living proof that you can experience some of the worst tortures of war and still be a warmonger.

And in what’s evidently big news, because I see it everywhere, the White House has hired its first female head chef. The National Organization for Women has declared that its work is now done and announced its immediate dissolution.

A balanced life (balanced between callousness and stupidity)

Saturday’s NYT’s front page sports a lovely example of a two-faced head, a headline with more than one possible meaning: “G.I.’s Deployed in Iraq Desert With Lots of American Stuff.”

Cute Carl Hiaasen column on FEMA paying for supposed hurricane-related funerals in, ahem, Florida.

I hadn’t realized that when Bush oh-so-casually threatened Iran with war, the Iranian president was in the process of picking a new cabinet. I’m not saying they wouldn’t have been hardline and pronuclear before Bush’s little intervention, but it still wasn’t very smart, even by Chimpy’s standards.

And here’s a surprise: no women cabinet members.

You’ll probably have seen this elsewhere, but this is what Bush said yesterday about Cindy Sheehan: “But whether it be here or in Washington or anywhere else, there’s somebody who has got something to say to the president, that’s part of the job. And I think it’s important for me to be thoughtful and sensitive to those who have got something to say. But I think it’s also important for me to go on with my life, to keep a balanced life.” So thoughtful, so sensitive. And then he went on a two-hour bike ride. He insists that all the exercise and outdoors stuff (he also went fishing) is essential so that he can make “good, crisp decisions.” The reporter did not ask for any examples of his having ever made a good, crisp decision.

Mrs. Sheehan must be overjoyed that he can “go on with my life.”

Normally we would storm a house killing everyone inside

As I predicted yesterday, Bush’s threat of military force against Iran was ignored in the US. It didn’t appear anywhere in today’s NYT, although to be fair it was a heavy news day, with “FDA Imposes Tougher Rules for Acne Drug” appearing above the fold on the front page (no, no link, my pimply-faced readers). However it was noticed by eagle-eyed German Chancellor Schröder, who criticized it strongly, and said that Germany would not participate in military action, not that anyone was asking. More astonishingly, Britain issued a statement that “We do not think there are any circumstances where military action would be justified against Iran.”

Iraqi president Talabani says that a deal can be reached on the constitution ahead of schedule, tomorrow in fact. All they have to do is pull an all-nighter and resolve the piddling details of oil-revenuing sharing, federalism and the role of Islam. So except for the form of government, how it will be funded, and what principles will underlie its legal system, they’ve pretty much got it all worked out. Well, they’ve got the name down, Republic of Iraq, a compromise worked out (with only a few fatalities), which is good because up until now whenever somebody wanted to attract Iraq’s attention they’d have to call out “Hey, you,” which was a little awkward. Really, if a constitution doesn’t address the fundamental issues, it’s not actually a constitution at all, and its usefulness is exactly zero, it performs no function. You can hardly, for example, get a court to declare a law unconstitutional when the constitution itself consists of the only thing all the delegates were able to agree on, that last Tuesday’s lunch could have been better.

The state of play with Venezuela is this: Chavez accused DEA agents operating in his country of espionage and ends cooperation on drugs with the DEA. The US responded by revoking the visas of Venezuelan military officers it claims to suspect of drug trafficking, although if so you have to wonder why they waited to revoke the visas until this little tit-for-tat fest. Venezuela will now revoke the diplomatic immunity of DEA agents and may stop issuing visas to Americans altogether.

In that story, the NYT feebly attempts to implement its new policy on anonymous sources, explaining the reason for the anonymity:

"Venezuela is being stricken by drug trafficking," an American official in Colombia who is involved in fighting drugs, said in a recent interview on condition of anonymity because of agency policy.

Oh well, policy, that explains everyfuckingthing.

Sunday Times article on Israeli army plans to send in the psychologists and rabbis to convince Gaza settlers to leave.

“Normally we would storm a house killing everyone inside, whereas here we have to storm the house and keep everyone alive,” said one commander. “It’s not an easy job.”

Former New Zealand PM David Lange, who fought the US over his non-nuclear policy in the 1980s, has died at 63.

“This is fate.”

All options are on the table

Yesterday, Bush gave an interview to Israeli television in which he did something which you’d think would be considered newsworthy: he threatened another country with military force. But this is what these last few years have brought us to. Everyone is so used to Bush dealing with the rest of the world through threats of military force that it’s viewed as completely unremarkable. Including by Bush; I saw a clip of it on the BBC, and he issues the threat completely casually, like it’s nothing.

Oh, you want to know which country? Iran, for its nuclear program.

THE PRESIDENT: Well, all options are on the table.

Q: Including use of force?

THE PRESIDENT: Well, you know, as I say, all options are on the table.

Then he goes on a bit about last resort blah blah blah. He also said in the interview that Abbas needs to “dismantle terrorists.” Drawing and quartering, I assume. And he was asked about the one time he visited Israel: “I’ll never forget waking up in the hotel and seeing this golden shine on the Old City. It was just -- and I remember waking up Laura, I said, ‘Laura, you’re not going to believe -- you’re not going to believe this fantastic sight.’” He really is easily distracted by shiny objects, isn’t he?

But not by signs because, well, he’s not much of a reader. His motorcade sped by Cindy Sheehan, who was holding up a sign reading “Why do you make time for donors and not for me?” Is that a trick question?

Gen. Richard Myers, in a declaration to the District Court in Manhattan, asks that the remaining Abu Ghraib pictures and video not be released. His declaration (pdf), not all of which has been released either, says the release would result in “riots, violence and attacks by insurgents” in both Iraq and Afghanistan and, hell, everywhere else too. It’s quite a chilling document, painting a picture of massive insurgency in both countries barely kept under control (which is funny, because that’s not what he says everywhere else) and how it would all turn to shit if these pictures came out, practically the end of the world, so the censorship they want isn’t about covering their asses at all but a noble effort to save the world from anarchy and bloodshed. Release of these pictures would be the first official release, as opposed to a leak, which he says would be ever so much worse because it would seem to be an official attempt “to further ridicule and humiliate the individuals depicted, their culture, or their religion.” Also, Myers still thinks that the residents of Afghanistan are called “Afghanis.”

I had been going to point out that the argument Myers was making to the District Court was pragmatic rather than legal. “It would cause bad things to happen” is not an objection based in legal principles, which are the things, the only things, courts are supposed to consider. But in fact, they’re trying to stretch a statute allowing non-release of law-enforcement records which might endanger a snitch (“could reasonably be expected to endanger the life or physical safety of any individual”) to cover this.

I think it’s kind of what we call speculation

Gaza settlers call on protesters trying to obstruct the pull-out to bring their children. “[W]e will reach our destination by use of our bodies and with our children.” Charming.

Via Josh Marshall, so maybe you’ve all read this already, this hilarious career-killing headline from the Cleveland Plain Dealer: “[Rep. Steve] LaTourette Attributes Flip-flop on CAFTA to Tariff No One Pays.”

Bush met at the ranch with the DOD “team” and “visited” with the State Dept “team,” and issued a statement replete with every lame cliché we’ve heard about Iraq. And let me just say here how annoyed I’m getting by Bush starting his sentences with “And” (“And we are a nation at war”) or with “In other words”. Really really annoyed. Here’s a two-fer: “And they kill indiscriminately. In other words, they don’t care who they kill.”

Evidently we have a strategy to succeed in Iraq. It consists of two parts. 1) “As Iraqis stand up, we will stand down.” 2) “The second part of our strategy is to help freedom prevail in Iraq.” A strategy is supposed to be a, you know, plan, not a bumper sticker.

“They kill because they are trying to shake our will,” he says. “They’re trying to drive free nations out of parts of the world,” he says. No, they’re not, they’re trying to drive our militaries out.

As for the possibility of reducing the number of American troops, “I think it’s kind of what we call speculation.”

Does anyone know which reporter is “Deb,” who asked Bush about the Iranian president’s involvement in the 1979 hostage crisis, a long-discredited smear?

This, I suppose, is his answer to Cindy Sheehan:

“I also know there’s a lot of folks here in the United States that are, you know, wondering about troop withdrawals. They’re concerned about the violence and the death. They hear the stories about a loved one being lost to combat. And, you know, I grieve for every death. It breaks my heart to think about a family weeping over the loss of a loved one. I understand the anguish that some feel about the death that takes place.”

Prick.

He does admit that Sheehan “has a right to her position.” Schmuck. The reporter didn’t ask when he planned to meet with her.

He also says, “And I know it’s tough and I know it’s hard work,” and then goes back to his vacation. Asshole.

More pictures to caption. I’ve only captioned two, crudely, leaving plenty of scope for you, my discerning readers. In comments, please, and specify pics 1,2,3,4 or 5.


Rummy: “If I don’t look at her, maybe she won’t notice my erection.”
Condi: “If I don’t look at him....”

Condi steps eagerly forward to help George go wee wee.

Have not been able to sustain attacks

The WaPo quotes Army Brig. Gen. Karl Horst, the deputy commander of the 3rd Infantry Division: “If you look at the past few months, insurgents have not been able to sustain attacks, but they tend to surge every four weeks or so. We are right in the middle of one of those periods and predicted this would come.” A rather dismissive tone coming from someone who’s just lost a fair number of soldiers in his command. “Tends to surge every four weeks”; he makes it sound like a phenomenon of nature, a weather pattern or PMS. And, oo, they’re not able to sustain attacks, he says so belittlingly. Well, no, they’re not trying to, they’re fighting a guerilla war. What sort of war are you fighting, Gen. Horst?

Also from the Post: “Thrown on the defensive by recent revelations about Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts Jr.’s legal work, White House aides are delaying the release of tens of thousands of documents from the Reagan administration to give themselves time to find any new surprises before they are turned into political ammunition by Democrats.” Yes, first things first. By all means let’s put the needs of the spin doctors ahead of those of the senators performing their constitutionally mandated duty to advise and consent. In fact, are the spin doctors, pardon me, “White House lawyers,” who the Post says “have been dispatched to the Reagan library in Simi Valley, Calif., where they are combing through documents that have not been released,” performing any legitimate governmental function at all? Why should the taxpayers be paying for this? If the Bushies want to run this like an election campaign, let them get their corporate buddies to foot the bill.

The most powerful weapons to be deployed against the terrorists

Rummy Rumsfeld, as usual, strikes the perfect note of Jeffersonian idealism: “Indeed, [Iraq’s] new constitution -- a piece of paper -- could well turn out to be one of the most powerful weapons to be deployed against the terrorists.” Sure, we all know how much paper cuts can hurt.

The DOD website also bring us the results of an Iraqi poll, coming from “Defense Department officials speaking on background.” That’s right, the Pentagon website features leaks from Pentagon officials. The poll is spun as showing the Iraqi people opposing terrorist attacks, although the reason it wasn’t officially released might be that it shows 40% support for attacking Americans.

The Swedish police have trained a dog (named Xena) to sniff out semen at crime scenes. Nope, can’t think of a single comment about that one, no sirree.

And here’s George Bush with his “economic team.” Never trust people who look that uncomfortable when ordered to dress casual.

“Where do I put my hands?” they all wonder.

Culture of tolerance

The Blair government is planning to create a “list of unacceptable behaviours” for which foreigners may be deported. The government will create “a full database of individuals around the world who have demonstrated the relevant behaviours”. Behaviors include giving speeches, running websites, or using a position of responsibility to “express what the Government considers to be extreme views that are in conflict with the UK’s culture of tolerance”. There must be a definition of “tolerance” with which I am unacquainted, one that allows for lists of unacceptable behaviors and unacceptable people. Indeed, one definition of tolerate in my computer dictionary is: “to be capable of continued exposure to (a drug, toxin, etc.) without adverse reaction.” Blair’s proposals surely count as an adverse reaction.

He also wants to create secret anti-terrorism courts to hold people for up to three months without charge, trial or a defense being heard. He must not have heard about the UK’s culture of tolerance. Sez George Monbiot (writing about calls for patriotism), “As usual, we are being asked to do the job of the terrorists, by making this country ugly on their behalf.”

One proposal to foster integration of immigrants is to “rebrand” them (possibly with actual brands) in the American hyphenate manner: calling them Asian-British or Indian-British, for example, instead of “Paki bastards” or “wogs” or “fuzzy-wuzzies” or “lesser breeds without the law” or whatever they call them now.

OK, now they’re just making up excuses. AP headline: “Sandstorm Halts Work on Iraqi Constitution.”

Japanese PM Koizumi, the guy with the hair, is calling snap elections on the burning issue of post office privatization. Honestly, not making that up.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s not just abortion rights, but actual birth control that is under attack. The Wisconsin legislature has banned the University of Wisc. from prescribing or distributing contraceptives. (via You Will Anyway).

And the Justice Dept has filed a brief at the Supreme Court in support of a New Hampshire parental-notification law that didn’t provide an exemption for medical emergencies affecting health.

Helping every American who drives to work; caption contest

Bush visited the Sandia National Labs today, to celebrate the labs’ role in blasting the shit out of Hiroshima and Nagasaki 60 years ago this week.

OK, that’s not how he put it, but why else go there, of all the places he could go, on this of all weeks? Well, ostensibly he went to sign the Godawful Energy Policy Act of 2005, so they were actually spinning the Labs’s solar research, because the energy bill was all about the solar. As he signed it, he said, “The Energy Policy Act of 2005 is going to help every American who drives to work, every family that pays a power bill, and every small business owner hoping to expand.” Assuming that small business is Exxon-Mobil. And you’ll notice how he ignores Americans who get to work by other means than the automobile. Later in the speech he mentions tax credits for buying more efficient cars and more tax credits for new refineries, hydrogen-powered cars, and of course ethanol, and talks at length about the dangers of dependence on foreign oil, but not a word about public transportation. Or walking to work, or bicycles. He loves his mountain bike, even if he keeps falling off it, but never considers the possibility of bicycles being used for transportation rather than recreation.

He goes on, “This bill launches an energy strategy for the 21st century, and I’ve really been looking forward to signing it.” Because if he spells his name right, Uncle Dick gives him a lollipop. “The bill recognizes... that we’ve got to use technology to be the world’s leader in energy conservation.” There’s a flaw in there somewhere...

Now on to the caption contest portion of our program, with pictures from today’s outing to Sandia. Specify pics 1,2 or 3.

That’s the nature of that neighborhood

Netanyahu resigns as Israeli finance minister over the Gaza pull-out. Evidently he just found out about it.

With the British government making unsubtle leaks to the press about prosecuting Muslim preachers for treason, and with Blair announcing the banning of two Muslim groups, in all cases for making statements supportive of terrorism rather than for any actual involvement in terrorism, British Muslims are demanding that if those organizations are to be banned, the racist British National Party and the National Front should be as well. They certainly meet the “preaching hatred” standard, as would Ian Paisley, homophobes, certain sexists, and oh for fuck’s sake let’s just ban everyone now. Even during World War II, the step of banning the British Union of Fascists and arresting its leaders wasn’t taken until Britain faced German invasion and occupation in the spring of 1940.

In an interview with Time, Condi suggests accentuating the positive: “It’s a lot easier to see the violence and suicide bombing than to see the rather quiet political progress that’s going on in parallel”. Someone needs to teach her the difference between visual and auditory. Personally I’ve been trying to smell the quiet political progress, without much success. I’d prefer not to try to taste the quiet political progress, because who knows where it’s been, although Condi assures us that it tastes like chicken. She also says the insurgents are “losing steam,” although she does not say which sense is required to detect this.

Duncan Hunter, the idiot who is chair of the House Armed Services Committee, is preparing the way for declaring victory and going home by defining success downwards even as he shows he is not cut out to be realtor: “There are always going to be insurgents in Iraq ... and there’s always going to be bombs going off and that’s the nature of that neighborhood.” Makes it sound like crabgrass.

Warning

The American ambassador to Iraq has been “warning” Shiites about not trying to undermine the rights of women (an article on that here) and minorities in the draft constitution. So what exactly is the relationship between the US and that process? Some clarity is called for. Do we consider ourselves to have a veto? If the answer to that is yes, then we are treating the supposedly sovereign Iraqis in a paternalistic and demeaning manner which will remove any legitimacy from the constitution. If no, we are neglecting the duties we accepted when we decided to occupy another country, and our 130,000 troops will be in the position of protecting by force of arms this stripping away of human rights. Yup, it’s a no-win situation, but one that’s inherent in the occupation of another country.

Viewed from the outside, the Iraqis seem to be fighting mostly over words rather than details. Will Islam be “the main source” of Iraqi law or “a main source.” Will Arabic be the only “official language,” whatever that means, or will Kurdish be a second official language. Will the state be called a “federal” one.

Speaking of fights over words, James Dobson this week compared stem-cell research to the ouvre of Nazi concentration-camp doctors, to a certain amount of outcry, but I want to point to on another word he used to characterize that research, utilitarian, which I’ve noticed beginning to crop up in this argument as a term of abuse. Because the last thing you’d want in medical research is utilitarianism. You know, it’s late and I don’t feel like coming up with a clever way to segue to a mention of Jeremy Bentham directing that after his death [1832] he be publicly dissected for the edification of the general public and his body be kept on display, which it still is to this day. Dammit, if I feel like inserting a picture of the very late Jeremy Bentham, that’s just what I’m gonna do.

Happy to be there

Ian Paisley, annoyed at the IRA ceasefire and the possibility of peace and local government in Northern Ireland is, astonishingly, threatening to boycott negotiations. “The majority of people in Northern Ireland are very angry,” he says, in what may be the greatest under-statement of all time.

In its continuing efforts to promote democracy and liberty throughout the world, the US is sending Haiti the equipment it needs for successful elections: guns and tear gas.

The WaPo has a refreshingly cynical story about the recent spate of junkets to Guantanamo, in which congresscritters spend about five minutes looking around without being allowed anywhere near the worst parts of the facility and without talking to one single prisoner. No one serious about investigating conditions would be satisfied with that, so one can only assume that those who make the journey intend only to be able to say that they’ve been there before issuing their whitewashes. Here’s a nice sentence from the Post: “Rep. Jon Porter (R-Nev.), part of Monday’s tour, said of the inmates he had seen from a distance: ‘Many of them are happy to be there.’”

Most likely to shoot up a bus

Follow-up: last week I mentioned that a jury in Virginia was empaneled solely to decide whether Daryl Atkins had a high enough IQ that he could be executed. Although the defense showed that Atkins had been kicked off his school football team because he was too... stupid... to play... football, the jury decided he was smart enough, or possibly dark-skinned enough, to kill (there were no blacks on the jury, you know how hard it is to find a black person in Virginia).

There were evidently subtle warning signs about that Israeli soldier, the fucking loon who the Israeli army decided to give a gun and show how to use it, who then shot up a bus full of Palestinians yesterday. For example (from Ha’aretz), this is his high school yearbook picture.


And his family actually repeatedly asked the military to take his gun away before he did something stupid (that would be the M16 he deserted with six weeks before the attack).

India sets a target of ending public defecation by 2010.

A tolerant and good-natured nation

Tony Blair gave a little speech today on the subject of terrorism. He’s against it. “By and large,” he said, “Britain knows it is a tolerant and good-natured nation, is rather proud of it and has responded to this terrorism with tolerance and good nature in a way that has won the admiration of people and nations the world over.” The rest of the speech was a wish list of powers he wanted to use against terrorism, including a statute to abolish tolerance and good nature.

He will start deporting foreigners who glorify, justify or validate the work of terrorists, or who visit websites or book shops or join organizations which the PM doesn’t like (there will be a little list drawn up). He will trust in the assurances of the countries to which he deports people that they won’t be tortured or ill-treated too terribly much.

Blair wants the power to close mosques. He insists that it is in fact the Muslim community itself that has asked that he “weed out extremism” from amongst them, so that’s all right then. He wants to detain people without trial for long periods.

Since 9/11, Blair has always had a bit of victimization envy. He desperately wanted for Britain to be important enough on the world stage to be attacked, for it too to be hated for its freedom. He didn’t precisely wish for the bombings, but they do represent a kind of validation for him, and an opportunity to put on his determined face and make just such a speech as he did today. After 7/7, everything is different, he says, which sounds awfully familiar. No one is calling it “scaremongering” any more, he says. Sure they are. Well, I am. It’s just more of a seller’s market now.

Banksy in the Holy Land

British stunt artist Banksy has been painting on the Israeli Security Wall (on the Palestinian side, which is why he is still alive). Here are the best images I could find, from the BBC, Guardian and Channel 4. I’m missing one of them.

Chimpy con carne

CNN suspends Bob Novak for using a naughty word (bullshit) on-air (video here). A bit like Al Capone going to jail for tax evasion, but we’ll take it.

This abruptly ended a scintillating discussion of Katherine Harris’s claim that newspapers photo-shopped her picture to make her look even uglier and more clownlike. Novak said that newspapers had done the same thing to him, whereupon Carville asked him to name one and he couldn’t. You can see why he got pissed off; reactionaries so hate being asked to document their lies.

The Poor Man writes well (and at length – read it when you’ve got some time) about the increasingly nebulous justifications for the Iraq war.

I can’t tell from the transcript of Bush’s press conference with Colombian Warlord Uribe whether a reporter’s question about Venezuela was ever answered (the White House’s webmaster, like the State Dept’s, no speakee furren lingos) (and neither does George Bush, but he tried anyway; asked what they would be eating, he replied “carne”), but yesterday Nicholas Burns of the State Dept accused Venezuela of supplying weapons to the Farc guerillas in Colombia, citing as evidence not captured weapons, not satellite footage, but the mere fact that Venezuela has been purchasing guns. As I said, reactionaries don’t like being asked to document their lies, but then it doesn’t happen that often: Burns’ has been allowed to stand so far. Nice to see someone taking the baton from Roger Noriega.

Twelve whole points

Sony, which used quotes from a non-existent critic in its ads for several movies, has been ordered to refund $5 to anyone who paid to see Vertical Limit, A Knight’s Tale, The Animal, Hollow Man or The Patriot. Variety headline: “Sony in Fix over Fake Crix.”

Achmad Chalabi’s head of public relations is shot to death, which to my mind speaks very poorly about his abilities in the public relations field. Just saying.

That AP story also has this bit of, I’m assuming, parody:

Seeking to reassure the public, Iraq’s prime minister announced a new plan for combating insurgents, declaring “we are in a state of war.”

Prime Minister Ibrahim Al-Jaafari gave few details of the plan but said it was divided into 12 points and included steps to improve intelligence, protect infrastructure and prevent foreign fighters from infiltrating the country.

I’m reassured just knowing that his plan is divided into 12 points, aren’t you? I mean, that’s a lot of points. And that Iraq is in a state of war, that’s awfully reassuring as well.

Speaking of state of war, we’re evidently back to The War Against Terror (TWAT), because Chimpy couldn’t memorize Global Struggle Against Violent Extremists.

Astonishingly, Haitians are not registering to vote. Only one-fifth have so far, and the deadline is next week. The International Crisis Group is blaming poor security, as opposed to the fact that the last democratically elected president was bundled onto a plane by American Marines, more or less at gun point, and sent into exile. Makes the whole voting thing seem kinda pointless.

A struggle within the Muslim faith

George Lakoff writes about the Bushies’ rebranding of The War Against Terror (TWAT) into the Global Struggle Against Violet Violent Extremism (G-SAVE). He thinks the timing of the change was because the London bombings made nonsense of the claim that the war in Iraq had anything to do with preventing terrorism. One could equally claim that, since the purpose of the war frame was to consolidate unaccountable power in the hands of the president, the permanent renewal of the Patriot Act meant that TWAT’s true mission has been accomplished. Either way, Lakoff is right that the awkwardness of the new term is deliberate:

The new phrase is less comprehensible, long, complicated. You almost have to memorize it: ‘global struggle against ...what was that exact wording again? Oh yeah, ‘violent extremism.’ It doesn’t sound like poetry, but in a perverse way it is. It says the administration’s policy is like the words for it: hard to comprehend, long, complicated. The new phrase is not memorable, and that’s the point.

In fact, according to Rumsfeld, we’re pretty much bystanders: “This is not a war between the United States and the Muslim faith or between Iraq and the Muslim faith. It is a struggle within the Muslim faith.” Cool, so why are we occupying Iraq again?

Oscar Wilde, updated.

We return to that continual source of amusement, the London Review of Books personals:

My only academic achievement was contaminating the water supply in class 2C by sneezing over the beaker tray. It caused the biggest outbreak of conjunctivitis ever known at Sutton Primary. I wasn’t sorry then and I’m not sorry now. Bitter PR exec. (F, 34). WLTM man to 40 who enjoys living on the edge (of Putney). Box no. 15/04

Suggest to me something obscure. F,37 Clapham. Box no. 15/06

‘All he needs are some psychiatric treatments to reduce the strength and regularity of his biorhythmic brain explosion episodes. For one so young, his powers of telekinesis are far beyond that of any project we’ve developed so far. His brain has the power to rule the world. It may cause you some problems at home, but the benefits of the bionic mind far outweigh the pitfalls.’ My school report, 1979 (Porton Down Preparatory School). So much promise then, look at me now. Ex-superhero, now librarian (M, 31) seeks solvent woman to 35 for scrabble, real ale, and spontaneous morphing. Wilts. Box no. 15/07

Bellini(s) before Bellotto? Awfully attractive editor (F, 50) seeks cure for alliterative addiction. artywoman@lycos.com

Want to meet you, but I can give no information. katy@finecellwork.co.uk

[More of my LRB favorites here.]

Hopefully the hyphen issue can be resolved without too much bloodshed

The revolution will not only be televised, but trademarked: Viktor Yushchenko’s 19-year old son has registered all the logos of Ukraine’s “Orange Revolution.” Andriy Yushchenko has a BMW and a platinum cell phone, so the revolution was well worth it.

The US never has political fights over the important issues, like spelling. Not so the Germans. In my favorite sentence from any news story today, the London Times reports “The states of Bavaria and North Rhine Westphalia are refusing to implement the reform until the hyphen issue has been resolved.”

(Update): although there is this sentence, in the WaPo: “As a bystander showed off a cardboard box containing the bomber’s body parts, the shopkeeper asked: ‘When are we going to have quiet again and live like normal people?’”

That’s in Iraq, if you had to ask.

Bush is breaking Reagan’s record for longest presidential vacation (not counting the 80 days James Garfield spent lollygagging around after he was shot) and for most time spent on vacation. Bush says he needs the time to clear his mind, which may be the straightest straight line ever, and “I’ll also be kind of making sure my Texas roots run deep.”

Now I can’t get the image of him buried up to his waist out of my head. Horseshoes, anyone?

Since he doesn’t seem to be very busy, maybe they could get him to solve the hyphen issue.

Congrats to Eli Stephens on two years of Left I on the News (or 20 months since I discovered it, which is surely the more important milestone).

Of course the reverse would just be gross

There’s something, actually several things, intrinsically amusing about the headline: “Grenades Thrown at Cockfight.”

Another headline: “King Fahd is Laid to Rest.” He will be buried in a giant vat of crude oil, as is the custom.

43% of people who have left the House or Senate since 1998 are now registered lobbyists.

It's coming back

Britain is asking the US to torture its ghost detainees to extract intelligence about the London bombers.

George Monbiot article on why the American and British plans to build usable tactical nuclear weapons and American treatment of new nuclear nations creates an incentive for nuclear proliferation.

Many Texas school districts are offering Bible study as, so far, an elective. The program, produced by the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools (motto: “It’s Coming Back”), is anti-intellectual horseshit, as you’d expect (did you know that NASA has proven that the sun did stop in the sky, just like it said in the Bible?). Still, you have to wonder about this WaPo headline: “Bible Course Called Biased, Error-Filled.” Really, a course on the bible is biased and filled with errors? What else was it supposed to be filled with?

The US is still pretending that the reason it was told to get its troops the hell out of Uzbekistan was that it bravely stood up for human rights, because it was just the right thing to do, dammit, no matter what the consequences. But at the same time it’s pretending this, it’s very careful not actually to stand up for human rights, in case Uzbekistan changes its mind about the base. This from the DOD website: “The relationship between the United States and Uzbekistan has grown tense since protests in May in the Uzbek province of Andijan turned bloody. The Uzbeks said about 200 people were killed in the protests. The government maintains those killed were terrorists.” Way to stand up for human rights.

He will speak for me

Bush recess-appoints John Bolton. I had already coined the phrase that Congressional D’s should, but won’t, use about this, “John Bolton speaks for the president, he does not speak for the United States,” when I found that Bush had beaten me to it, saying “He will speak for me on critical issues facing the international community,” thus demonstrating once again that Bush does not know the difference between a president and a king. L’état, c’est W.

The BBC says Bush accused D’s of forcing him to do this by their “shameful delaying tactics.” This from a man truly without shame. I mean, look at that tie.

Fit for duty

Bush passed his medical checkup. His doctors say he is “fit for duty.” I’d like a second opinion.

James Wolfensohn, former head of the World Bank, has some helpful decorating advice for the Palestinians: use the rubble left after the Gaza settlements are demolished. Very DIY. I’m picturing Fred Flintstone’s house.

For a long time the Bush administration has bent over backwards to avoid any criticism of the dissident-boiling Karimov regime in Uzbekistan (see my many posts on the subject in May of this year), so it’s a little funny to read the claim that the US has been evicted from its Uzbek air base because of a rather modest call for an international inquiry into the May massacres, an inquiry it knows will never happen, and for asking Kyrgyzstan not to return some Uzbeks to certain death. And by funny, I mean unbelievable. Craig Murray, the former British ambassador to Uzbekistan, explains that the whole thing is actually about... wait for it... oil. Karimov has simply opted for the Russians rather than Americans to develop his oil and gas resources. Murray adds, “The US has managed to hand the dictator Karimov the propaganda coup of kicking out the world’s greatest power. ... If they had any dignity they would have jumped before they were pushed.”

The British government, by the way, which tried repeatedly to silence Murray while he was ambassador, including by claiming that he was an adulterer and a drunk, is now trying to block publication of a book he has written about the US and Britain’s implication in torture.

They should have been doing what they have been demanding of us to do

Pakistani dictator Musharraf, tired of being accused (correctly) of tolerating madrasas and training camps that churn out terrorists for export to the rest of the world, including two of the London bombers, has hit back at Britain, and in a weird, douchebaggy way he has a point:

“They should have been doing what they have been demanding of us to do — to ban extremist groups like they asked us to do here in Pakistan and which I have done.”

Of course I’m not agreeing that the West needs to do any such thing, but he is right about the hypocrisy exhibited by the US, Britain etc when they go beyond the legitimate demand that Muslim countries arrest criminals, and insist as well that Pakistan and Saudi Arabia crack down on preaching, close schools, and ban political organizations (yes, legitimate political activity can be difficult to disentangle from the other kind in those non-democracies, but a good rule of thumb is that if the activity would be protected by the First Amendment in this country, we shouldn’t ask for it to be punished elsewhere), that Palestine censor its media to eliminate “incitement” and “provocation,” and that someone, anyone, just shut Al Jazeera the fuck down already.

Rather like the indignation Russia expressed to the United States after Nightline broadcast an interview with Chechen rebel/terrorist (but he really wants to direct) Shamil Basayev. Funny, you never hear Vladimir Putin say of the Chechens, “They hate us for our freedom.”

Something’s up with the Bushies and Latin American policy, but I don’t know what. Roger Noriega, Assistant Secretary of State for Pissing All over Latin America Because It’s Ours Goddammit, has abruptly resigned from the government for reasons that are unclear but seem to have to do with the appointment of Caleb McCarry as “Cuba Transition Coordinator.” Worth keeping an eye on.

Expousing

Bush has reverted to “war on terra.” Guess Global Struggle against Violent Extremism was a bit long for him to remember.

John McCain on the transportation bill: “I wonder what it’s going take to make the case for fiscal sanity here?” That a rhetorical question, Johnnie?

2003 UB313 is not a real planet, sorry Caltech, nice try.

Lots of blogs are linking to the Jean Schmidt interview. They’re focusing on her continuing attacks on Paul Hackett in their Congressional race for “expousing” the philosophy of Nancy Pelosi and Ted Kennedy. It’s hard to believe that she’s ever held legislative office or spoken in public before, but there it is. Expousing. I’m pretty sure she mispronounced nuclear too. A true Bushian. Do they come that ignorant or are they consciously imitating their leader?

Viva Cuba Librium

I thought Eli was exaggerating for dramatic effect, as we bloggers do, when he said that the United States government now has a post of “Cuba Transition Coordinator.” He wasn’t. It really is as blatant as that. The new Cuba Transition Coordinator is one Caleb McCarry (!) and his mission is to “accelerate the demise of Castro’s tyranny.” Condi Rice says we are “working to deny resources to the Castro regime... and to broadcast the truth about its deplorable treatment of the Cuban people.” Which I take to mean we’ll be telling the Cuban people how badly treated they are, because otherwise they might not understand how badly treated they are. A quick googling indicates that Mr. McCarry has already brought democracy to Haiti, Guatemala and the Dominican Republic.

As ever, I’m impressed by the sophisticated grasp of other cultures and languages displayed by the State Department website, which quotes McCarry thus:

We are committed to seeing the day when Cubans around the world in the fullness of liberty can in every corner of Marti’s homeland speak the words that were born on the lips of Cuba’s first patriots. (Speaking in Spanish.) (Applause.)

Those words that so baffled the monolingual Staties, according to the AFP, were: “Viva Cuba libre.”

Luring men under the pretext of EKG or ultrasound

London Times article on the not-so-creeping Talibanization of the North-West Frontier Province of Pakistan, including banning women voting. The central government keeps saying this sort of thing won’t be tolerated, and then keeps tolerating it. The article leaves out some important details, including the size and population of the province, and, while it mentions that male doctors have been banned from treating female patients, doesn’t say how many female doctors, if any, there are in the province. I know that when this was enacted two years ago, there were no women trained in ultrasound, and just one in EKGs. The worry was that the doctors would be sexually stimulated, and that women would “lure men under the pretext of ECG or ultrasound.” Hoo baby.

There’s a whole big thing going on between Poland and Belarus, which is more than just a diplomatic confrontation since there is a large ethnic Polish population in Belarus. Lukashenko is claiming that not just Poland and Lithuania but the US are actively trying to depose him.

It was on the bottom of the NYT’s front page, but got no play elsewhere: in the run-up to yesterday’s vote on the godawful energy bill, which does nothing to make automobiles more fuel efficient, the EPA delayed the release of an annual report showing that American vehicles are now less fuel-efficient than they were in the 1980s.

Liberty in Samarra

A sure sign that Russia has entered the modern capitalist world: a Russian woman is suing McDonald’s after she was burnt by a cup of coffee. She’s only asking $32,000, so they still have a way to come yet.

The US has imposed a total, indefinite curfew in Samarra after an attack on a convoy. The Press Association story has this line:

“There is currently, and until further notice, no vehicle or pedestrian activity allowed in Samarra,” said a spokesman for Task Force Liberty.

They might want to rethink the name of that task force.

The Israeli Knesset votes to stop Palestinians suing the state for damages inflicted on them by the military. Retroactive to 2000. And also to limit the ability of Israeli women to pass their citizenship to their husbands, if those husbands happen to be Palestinian.

The family of the Brazilian man shot dead by the Metropolitan Police say that he was not in fact wearing a bulky jacket, nor did he jump a ticket barrier, as the police had claimed. Their lawyer, who seems to be a woman named Gareth Peirce, comments that everyone is talking about the “shoot to kill” policy as if it were a legal term with some sort of legitimacy.

Do you want freedom fries with that?

The word of the day at the Pentagon website today is “laud.” One headline: “Secretary Lauds Deployed Servicemembers.” Another: “McDonald’s Lauded for Support.” Evidently that support is “super-sized.” And high in saturated fats. Oh, and McDonald’s D’s “also offers career opportunities to disabled servicemembers and military veterans”. Sarcastic responses to that in comments, please.

Rummy told the future burger-flippers troops that he expected terrorist attacks to increase until the new Iraqi constitution is finalized, oh and until the referendum on it, and gosh who knows, maybe after that as well. And that’s an excellent sign, because suicide bombings are “a sign of weakness” and desperation. Can you believe they’re still pushing that line?

Scotty McClellan justified the White House refusal to turn over various documents written by John Roberts because “we have a responsibility not only to preserve the attorney-client privilege for this administration, but also for future administrations.” “Future administrations,” boy that’s a blast from the Nixonian past, a leaf out of the Big Book O’ Stonewalling. He slyly followed this up by saying that to release the docs would “stifle” the advice given to the solicitor general by his staff in the future, clearly a subtle reference to that staple of the Nixon era, All in the Family, part of a ‘70s nostalgia thing.

By the way, if the president or the solicitor general were the “client” part of the attorney-client relationship, shouldn’t they have paid Roberts’ salary out of their own pockets?

I’ve been reading Prop 73 on California’s November ballot (pdf file), mandating parental notification of abortion for minors. I’d be against this anyway, but there are one or two problems with the judicial bypass provisions: it can take so long that parental notification might become redundant; and if there is any sort of abuse, including “emotional abuse,” the court must inform Protective Services, a provision which seems less about protecting abused pregnant minors than it is a “nuclear option” designed to raise the stakes for girls opting for abortion. The agenda of punishing the little trollops is made even clearer in the ballot argument for the prop.: “When parents are involved and minors cannot anticipate secret access to free abortions they more often avoid the reckless behavior which leads to pregnancies.” Also, the prop. requires doctors to report abortions performed on minors to the state. That can’t be good.

Are you now or have you ever been...?

Chuck Schumer’s list of questions for John Roberts to evade answering, doesn’t suck, although it avoids issues relating to the death penalty and the Second Amendment. Just as Schumer has given Roberts the questions in advance, Roberts should be pressured to give his answers in advance, in writing, so that he may be cross-questioned about them.

So Roberts can’t remember whether he was ever a member of the Federalist Society? How credible is that? There are organizations I once gave some money to but haven’t in 10 or 15 years that still send me “renewal” notices on a regular basis. Here’s the helpful comment of John Cornyn on the subject: “It’s not like being a member of the Communist Party.”

I know that lawyers’ ideas of ethics are not those of normal people, but I was always under the impression that lawyers weren’t supposed to lie in court. So while Roberts may have been arguing the position of the Bush 1 administration, was it ethical to make an argument that Roe v. Wade was “wrongly decided and should be overruled” unless he actually believed that position to be correct?

Speaking of lawyers with retarded clients, a jury is being empaneled in Virginia solely to decide whether a man already convicted of murder is mentally retarded or not; if the latter, he will be executed. And while I know it’s a civic duty and all that, let’s face it, we’re all thinking the same thing: a man’s IQ will be determined by a group of people who couldn’t get out of jury duty. The man’s tested IQ has risen from 59 to somewhere in the 70’s, above what counts as retarded in Virginia, an increase which is attributed to the mental stimulation he received by working with his lawyers on his case, mental stimulation entirely lacking from his life previously. Sometimes irony gets you executed. To ensure that the trial not be fair, the judge has ruled that the jury may hear the details of the murder, which are of course entirely irrelevant to determining whether he is retarded.

Pakistani dictator Musharaf claims that “Al-Qaeda does not exist in Pakistan any more.” Although it hasn’t stopped him using the London bombings as an excuse to further criminalize speech acts, which will now be tried in anti-terrorism courts.

There is no conspiracy to shoot people

Bush has called, several times now, for the confirmation process for John Roberts to be “dignified.” First, let’s all take a moment out of our busy day to contemplate Flight Suit Boy lecturing other people about dignity. I can’t even imagine how he defines dignity in this context (but then, I can’t imagine him spelling dignity). Possibly for him, nothing says dignity and gravitas like abject capitulation and subservience, like that butler he always calls Jeeves, whose name is not actually Jeeves, who always says Yes sir, at once sir, in that fruity accent.

Met Chief Sir Ian Blair says the “shoot-to-kill-in-order-to-protect” policy will remain, acknowledging that a few more innocent civilians may well get wacked, but what the hey. He suggests Londoners cheerfully accept the risk they now face because the intentions of the police who may soon be shooting them in the head are just so darned good: “there is no conspiracy to shoot people.” No indeed, my computer’s dictionary defines a conspiracy as “a secret plan by a group to do something unlawful or harmful,” and there’s nothing secret about this, Sir Ian just announced the plan before God and everyone.

And in fact Londoners have pretty much done what he suggests. Bionic Octopus points to a comments page on the BBC website which is just full of outpourings of sympathy for the true victims of this whole affair: the poor, poor peelers who shot Jean Charles de Menezes repeatedly in the head.

Fortunately, Pope Benny has prayed for God to stop terrorism, so that should take care of that problem.

It’s only a shoot-to-kill-in-order-to-protect policy

So on the bottom of a page well inside the Saturday edition of the NYT we find a story to the effect that American forces are involved in military operations in the Philippines. Are they actually in combat, as “numerous reports” say, or merely supplying intelligence and communications support, as the military claims? Who knows? Who can even keep track of how many countries the US military operates in? Didn’t we send troops into Yemen at some point? I’m just saying it would be nice to know precisely how many wars and civil wars we’re participating in.

Metropolitan police chief Sir Ian Blair sort of admits the shoot-to-kill policy and says, yeah, they’ll probably wind up shooting a few other innocent people. The “sort of” is because what he actually said was, “I am very aware that minority communities are talking about a shoot-to-kill policy. It’s only a shoot-to-kill-in-order-to-protect policy.” So that’s ok, then.

The word in that sentence that makes it high comedy: “only.”

I don’t know anybody in America who is pro-abortion

The White House has been lobbying in favor of retaining the military’s right to engage in cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment of prisoners. It would have been interesting to hear what exactly Cheney said to former POW John McCain, the sponsor of the proposed legislation, in support of the cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment of prisoners.

Speaking of cruel, inhuman and degrading, Howard Dean has signed on to the Hillary Clinton suck-up–to-anti-abortionists position, telling college D’s, “I think we need to talk about this issue differently. The Republicans have painted us as a pro-abortion party. I don’t know anybody in America who is pro-abortion.” He should get out more. “You have to respect people’s positions of conscience,” he said, failing to add, “especially when those people want to impose those ‘positions of conscience’ on other people.”

Plain-clothes London police chased and shot dead a Brazilian man yesterday. Today they fessed up that it was all a big misunderstanding, which is refreshing compared to, say, the LAPD, which recently shot dead a baby held by a man with a gun and won’t admit there was anything wrong with that, or the LA County Sheriffs, who fired 120 rounds at an unarmed black man in Compton in May (without killing him, so they’re trigger happy and they can’t hit the side of a barn, a perfect combination), and don’t think they violated his civil rights. The Peelers now seem to have a policy where if they see someone doing something suspicious near some form of mass transit, like a dark-skinned man running away when he suddenly finds himself being chased by a mob of people not wearing police uniforms, they will shoot him in the head, in case he was planning to detonate something.

The clearest orders I have ever received

Billmon has a must-read post on the Patriot Act, which the House today voted 257-171 to extend and to make most of it permanent.

A CIA agent has a book out in which he says that one week after 9/11, he was on a plane to Afghanistan with a team of agents and $3m in hundreds, with orders to bring back Osama bin Laden’s head – literally. The agent, Gary Schroen, claims to have responded, “Sir, those are the clearest orders I have ever received. I can certainly make pikes out in the field but I don’t know what I’ll do about dry ice to bring the head back - but we’ll manage something.” It’s that can-do spirit that made America great.

For a can of beans and a dickhead to be named later.

Stepping up

Rumsfeld, talking about the assassination of the two Sunnis: “the perspective I would give to it is the fact that these kinds of problems have occurred month after month after month, and yet, we always see more people step up to participate in the elections, more people step up to participate in the Iraqi Transitional Assembly and to run for public office, more people step up to serve in the Iraqi security forces.” So that’s his version of optimism: we haven’t run out of Iraqis yet.

Manhandling Condi’s staff

BBC headline: “US Fury as Sudan Manhandles Staff.” Sounds really gay to me, but you’ve gotta appreciate the sense of proportion. Genocide in Sudan? Sure, whatever, blah blah. But push around some staffers, and face the wrath of the Condi.

A “good” law

On C-SPAN today I saw some of Bush’s latest speech calling for renewal of every last creepy provision of the PATRIOT Act. He said this was “no time to roll back good laws”. He called the Act “good” twice, and while that may mean he simply has a diminutive vocabulary (as I just found out while trying to locate the quote, he used the word good a goodly number of times in the course of the speech), it’s not really a word you’d expect even the Act’s supporters to apply to it. It infringes on people’s freedoms and privacies, so you might argue that it’s a necessary evil, but a positive good?

So two Sunnis on the drafting committee for the Iraqi constitution were assassinated, four others have quit in protest/fear, but the head of the committee says everything is “on schedule.” Sure, if the schedule said, “Tuesday: shoot Sunnis.” Which it probably did. Given that the drafters have been quietly dismantling women’s freedoms, and threatening to do the same to Kurdish autonomy, I’m happy to see the process fail completely.

A German man lost a court case in which he demanded the state provide him a toupee, claiming discrimination since the state insurance system would provide a wig for a bald woman. The court ruled that the state need pay only “when a bald head disfigures a person so severely that they would be ostracised from public life. That is not the case with men.” Indeed.

Refusing to choose

Two of the Sunnis who were cajoled into serving on the committee drawing up the Iraqi constitution have been assassinated. Although in Iraq, that may simply be part of the constitutional process.

Except for the last couple of years, John Roberts has been a hired gun, so it’s hard to tell how many of the heinous positions he’s argued over the years coincide with his own views. Especially since, I predict, he will stonewall the Senate like it’s never been stonewalled before. Don’t bother watching the Senate hearings, nothing will be learned there.

Here’s one hint: Kevin at American Street reports that Roberts’ wife used to be a veep at something called Feminists for Life, which does not signify life-long feminism but opposition to abortion, “if you refuse to choose between women and children”, its website says, next to a deliberately misleading quote from Susan B. Anthony intended to make her sound like an anti-abortion advocate. “Women deserve better than abortion,” their site says. “We are dedicated to systematically eliminating the root causes that drive women to abortion,” they say, which is both a disempowering notion that women don’t choose but are “driven,” and it’s the Hillary et al position about reducing abortion taken very slightly further--just a couple of baby steps, if you will.

Merit

My computer is in the shop, with a perfectly good draft post sitting on it, which I will now attempt to recreate.

On the same day that Bush announces his new standard, under which Rove won't be fired unless he is actually convicted of a crime in a court of law, the WaPo has this headline: "Bush Aims to Expand System of Merit Pay." George, define "merit" for us.

Asked about it yesterday, Bush said something (only 30 minutes online in the public library, no time to look it up!) about wanting to get all the facts before acting. Too easy to make fun of. (Update: "And I think it’s best that people wait until the investigation is complete before you jump to conclusions. And I will do so, as well. I don’t know all the facts. I want to know all the facts. The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who’s spending time investigating it.")

Speaking of knowing all the facts, Tony Blair, says the Guardian, "At last week's cabinet meeting, Mr Blair likened Islamic extremism to the Trotskyist Militant Tendency that infiltrated Labour in the 80s, and argued it was only when the party recognised the depth of the infiltration that a tough counter-strategy was implemented." Yeah, Islamic terrorists, Trotskyists, same dif, both beardies.

Contest

In comments, Mike Capone asks if a worse name could have been found for an organization than “Nashis.” With uncharacteristic brevity, I responded, “No.” But then I got to wondering if it was in fact possible, and while I couldn’t come up with anything, I thought I’d see if the collective perversity of my readership could do better. Responses in comments, please, and extra points if the initials are NAMBLA or something funny.

Defusing tensions

Best headline of the day, from the BBC: “China to Send Pig Sperm to Space.” Everyone has to have a hobby, I suppose.

The “Council of Sages” in Haiti wants Aristide’s party banned from elections.

Condi Rice is going to the Middle East to “defuse tensions.” Dunno, Condi doesn’t really seem like a defusing-tensions kind of person.



It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the Putin Youth Movement, aka the “Nashis.” The Times has a story about the Nashi summer camp, at which 3,000 of Vlad’s Impalers (they use the term “commisars”) have been training to fight back the barbarian hordes.


Here’s the head of the Nashis, interviewed by Moscow News about the funding for the camp:

Everyone knows that the Kremlin supports Nashi, everyone knows that the president met with our commissars. The support of the Kremlin allows us to talk with any businessmen and to get financial support. To refuse financial support for our project would be viewed as an unpatriotic decision.

The Tom DeLay school of fundraising.

Necessary and appropriate force, and sex with horses

Because there can never be enough invocations of the Holocaust in political dialogue, Gaza settlers have taken to writing their i.d. numbers on their arms as a protest against being asked to show their i.d.’s, part of an effort to prevent the nut-jobs flooding the settlements with protesters against the pull-out. The settlers, poor sensitive lambs that they are, say they feel as if they are in ghettoes.


A panel of the Court of Appeals rules that military commissions can resume trying prisoners in Guantanamo. This is victor’s justice so naked that I’m not sure what function a court of law even plays. The court rules that the Geneva Conventions “do not create judicially enforceable rights.” American military law doesn’t apply either: although the Uniform Code of Military Justice requires that detainees be tried in the same way as American soldiers, the court says that different rules can be applied, like not showing the detainee the evidence against him. The court finds Bush’s power to disregard the rule of law in the resolution (note: not a law) passed by Congress giving Bush authority “to use all necessary and appropriate force” against those responsible for 9/11, and any other terrorist types. What the court is saying is that those words cover any sorts of arbitrary acts that Bush’s chimp-like mind can conceive.

Enough with the frivolity. This here is a blog, and as such I am bound by law and blogger standards & practices to present to you this story: a man in Seattle has died after having anal sex with a horse. Cause of death was a perforated colon, which I guess answers the question raised by the phrase “anal sex.” Bestiality is legal in Washington, which explains a lot. The man had his little... encounter ... on a farm that specializes in that sort of thing.

Oh, the horse is ok.

Acts (of Parliament) preparatory to fascism

Tony Blair will introduce a new thought crime: “indirect incitement to commit terrorist acts.” Indirect incitement could hardly be more subjective, which just makes the chilling effect that much greater. Courts will be expected to consider elements such as tone and glorification of terrorism. According to the minister introducing the measure, “It would depend on what words were used. Were they an endorsement, were they a glorification? In some cases, the tone of your endorsement might take it into glorification.” There will also be a new crime of “acts preparatory to terrorism,” such as receiving training abroad or accessing certain websites.