Next question

All right, Senator McCain, now that we’ve (sort of) cleared up the question of how many houses you own: how many servants do you and your wife employ?


(Update: it seems that in 2007 the McCains’ budget for domestic staff was $273,000.)

I mean just flooded it

Yesterday, Bush went to New Orleans.

WHAT HE THINKS THE MESSAGE HERE TODAY IS: “I think the message here today is: Hope is being restored. Hope is coming back.”

WHAT THIS ISN’T LIKE: “This isn’t like a farewell address -- you know, George Bush came and he said, he’s through.” Through talking about himself in the third person.


IT’S EASIER TO REMEMBER WHEN THERE AREN’T ANY: “And even though I’m headed for retirement in about six months, that’s not to say I’m going to forget who my friends are in this part of the world.”

NAME OF THE DAY: “I said thanks to Hunt Downer -- that would be General Downer.” Why I can remember when he was just a Private Downer....

WHAT’S HARD TO BELIEVE: “It’s hard to believe that it was three years ago that Katrina, in essence, wiped out a lot of this city. I mean just flooded it, just destroyed a lot of hopes and a lot of dreams.” Speaking of flooding:


WHAT THERE IS: “There is hopeful signs of progress as housing is restored.”

WHAT ELSE THERE IS: “there is notable improvements.”

That’s pathetic

Condi Rice, on CNN, on the Russian threat to nuke Poland if it goes ahead with the Star Wars deal: “That’s pathetic.”

Rice with evil but adorable twin president of Poland Kaczynski
WHAT CONDI IS BEGINNING TO WONDER: “I’m beginning to wonder if the Russian President is ever going to keep his word, or can he keep his word, or what is going on there?”

WHAT IS EMBARRASSING NOW: “He’s the Russian President. He’s the Russian President and he ought to keep his word. But I think what is embarrassing now is the Russian President continuing to make representations that don’t turn out to be true.” Yes, imagine what it would be like to have a president like that.

She praised soon-to-be-former president Musharraf as having “pull[ed] Pakistan away from the brink of extremism.” He also “helped to smooth the path to civilian democratic rule in Pakistan.” Sort of like praising O.J. Simpson for helping to look for the real killer.

Testy v. testosterone

Bush, arriving in New Orleans: “I make no promises. This isn’t a chance for me to be a typical politician and make you a promise that I don’t intend to keep.” Um... good?




Today McCain accused Obama of getting “testy” (let me repeat: McCain accused Obama of getting testy. Sort of a “man bites testy attack dog” story) about being accused of being unpatriotic, which McCain says he totally isn’t doing: “Let me be very clear: I am not questioning his patriotism -- I am questioning his judgment. I am questioning his judgment. Senator Obama has made it clear that he values withdrawal from Iraq above victory in Iraq, even today with victory in sight.... He has made these decisions not because he doesn’t love America, but because he doesn’t think it matters whether American wins or loses.” See? Totally not questioning his patriotism.

It is possible I might have committed mistakes

Condi on the Russo-Georgian War: “what has Russia demonstrated? It has demonstrated that it can use its overwhelming regional military power to beat up on a small neighbor. That’s what it demonstrated. It can attack Georgian civilians, it can block Georgian highways, it can bomb Georgian ports, and it can say very nasty things about a democratically elected Georgian Government. That’s what it has demonstrated.” You make it sound like a bad thing.

Musharraf’s resignation speech:

ALL? THAT WAS REALLY ALL THE HONESTY AND INTEGRITY YOU HAD? “I am going with the satisfaction that whatever I could do for this nation, for the people, I did it with all my honesty and integrity.”

MMM, COULD BE: “It is possible I might have committed mistakes”.

CHANNELING JOHN MCCAIN: “Some elements have given preface to their own interests rather than the nation.”

The hour-long speech included a long listing of his many accomplishments for Pakistan, such as increased hotel occupancy. He denied that anything that sucks about Pakistan had anything to do with his nine years of dictatorship: “They said that during the last nine years our economic problems and electricity shortages were due to our policies. It is absolutely wrong and deception for the country.” There were three blackouts in Karachi during the speech.

He also repeatedly claimed that none of the charges would stick, because “because I never did anything for myself.” In other words, he wasn’t corrupt, just power-mad. So that’s all right, then.

Just one more issue to be spun or worked to advantage

In a speech at the VFW, McCain, class act that he is, accused Obama of treating veterans’ concerns as “just one more issue to be spun or worked to advantage.”

He also accused him of trying to “legislate failure” by not supporting the surge, repeating his claim that the O Man chose political self-interest over national interest. McCain is clearly not following his own political self-interest here, unless he thinks it’s in his political self-interest to look like a douchebag. Note that for McCain’s charge that Obama chose to reject a policy that was in the national interest to be true, Obama would have to have shared all along McCain’s belief that the surge would work and been lying when he said the contrary.

By the way, according to McCain, “victory in Iraq is finally in sight” but “The hard-won gains of our troops hang in the balance.” It’s like buying a DVD player at Circuit City, isn’t it? The salesman tells you the machine he’s pushing is a marvel of engineering, a piece of technology so advanced as to be indistinguishable from magic, then when you agree to purchase it you’re told it’s really as delicate as a house of cards in a tumble drier and you should buy the extended warrantee.

This is not the time for individual bravado

Must-read of the day: the state of women in Afghanistan, where the majority of women in prisons committed the crime of being raped and where 57% of brides are under the age of 16, the majority of them forced. “Afghanistan is the only country in the world with a higher suicide rate among women than men.”

Musharraf resigns because “This is not the time for individual bravado.” See, and you thought this was the time for individual bravado. Now you know better.

People are going to begin to wonder if Russia can be trusted

In an interview on Meet the Press, Condi Rice came out in support of Russian intervention in South Ossetia. The problem, and evidently the only problem, she has with the Russo-Georgian War, is that the Russians Went Too Far:

once this broke out in South Ossetia, it could have been confined to South Ossetia. Rather than confine it to that and deal with the facts on the ground there, the Russians decided to go deeper into Georgia, to bomb Georgian ports, to bomb Georgian military installations, to go into the city of Gori. ... But we need to keep the focus on the culprit here, and the culprit here is that Russia overreached, used disproportionate force against a small neighbor... What the Russians did was to unfortunately go well beyond the zone of conflict and threaten Georgian institutions.

Naturally, she was not asked what precisely she meant by “deal with the facts on the ground there,” but her characterization of South Ossetia as an area in which it was legitimate for Russian troops (which she repeatedly calls peacekeepers) to attack Georgians strongly suggests that she is prepared to oversee the transfer of the breakaway provinces to Russia. Someone should ask her to clarify, but none of the hosts of the three Sunday talk shows she went on today did so.


She did warn Russia of the severe consequences for its actions: “People are going to begin to wonder if Russia can be trusted.”

Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century

This morning, Bush spoke in the Rose Garden about Georgia, which once had a Rose Revolution. He announced that he’ll be dragging Condi’s ass out to Crawford to report to him “on what she has seen and what she heard in Georgia, as well as in Paris -- I mean, in France. She did not go to Paris.” No one goes to Paris in August, it’s just not done.

“Georgia’s sovereignty and territorial integrity must be respected.” Because if there’s one thing George Bush hates, it’s the sovereignty and territorial integrity of other nations not being respected..

“The Cold War is over. The days of satellite states and spheres of influence are behind us.” Because if there’s one thing George Bush hates, it’s satellite states and spheres of influence.

“Bullying and intimidation are not acceptable ways to conduct foreign policy in the 21st century.” Because if there’s one thing George Bush hates, it’s bullying and intimidation.

A startling wake-up call

In an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal, John McCain (who begins, “For anyone who thought that stark international aggression was a thing of the past, the last week must have come as a startling wake-up call” – and if there’s one thing John McCain hates, it’s a startling wake-up call, especially during his mid-morning nap or his mid-afternoon nap) insists again that “We Are All Georgians,” despite my poll results to the contrary. Are you people quite sure you’re not Georgians?

Mikhail Saakashvili, who’d be your president if you were a Georgian, has an op-ed in the WaPo, in which he tries to portray the Russo-Georgian War as a purely ideological conflict between democracy and dictatorship, and says, “I have staked my country’s fate on the West’s rhetoric about democracy and liberty.” Er, sorry, we didn’t know anyone was listening to us, much less taking us at face value. Our bad. Signed, The West.

Speaking of democracy and liberty, congratulations to Nevada voters for their primary turnout of 14%.

Oh, and Nevada provides our Name (and Location) of the Day: “veteran Assemblyman John Marvel of Battle Mountain.” Who was defeated in his primary, I might add. How does John Marvel of Battle Mountain get defeated? By one Don Gustavson, which is just a terrible supervillain name.

Isolation

Condi Rice held a news conference yesterday. She said that if Russia is violating the ceasefire, “that will only serve to deepen the isolation into which Russia is moving.” In an old post, I suggested that there might be something psychological about Condi’s repeated threats of isolation against other countries.


SHE’S THE REMINDERER: “Right now, the key is to remind Russia that it has an obligation to stop its military activities, remind Russia that it is not to further engage in activities that threaten the territorial integrity and sovereignty of Georgia, that it should drop the language concerning the democratically elected Government of Georgia that has been thrown around by some Russian officials, and that it’s time to stop this so that Russia can begin to dig out of the hole that it’s gotten itself into.” You know, if Russia wants advice about how to dig oneself out of a hole one has gotten oneself into, I don’t think they’ll be looking for it from anyone in the Bush administration.

In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations

I don’t think Obama will pick Evan Bayh as his running mate, nor should he, but Obama-Bayh just sounds fun. Say it with me: Obama-Bayh, Obama-Bayh, Obama-Bayh.

Politicians’ statements condemning Russia seem oddly situational, or perhaps I should say temporal. Bush two days ago: “Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century.” Bush today: “In recent years, Russia has sought to integrate into the diplomatic, political, economic, and security structures of the 21st century. ... Now Russia is putting its aspirations at risk by taking actions in Georgia that are inconsistent with the principles of those institutions.” Did you know that the 21st century had security structures? Presumably to protect it from invasion by the 24st century – they want our women, you know. And McCain today: “In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations.”


What, did you expect me to say something about that sentence that would make it more absurd?


McCain plans to send emissaries to Georgia, Senators Lieberman and Graham. Haven’t the Georgians suffered enough?


Get Your War On is now, of all things, animated.



New episodes weekly at 236.com.

We are all Georgians

Attorney General Michael Mukasey not only won’t prosecute anyone for the illegal hiring practices within Justice, because “not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime,” but won’t undo the politically based appointments Monica Goodling et al made because “People who were hired in an improper way didn’t themselves do anything wrong.” But then, Mike, neither did the qualified people who should have received those jobs based on the, ya know, merits. Said Mukasey, “Professionalism is alive and well at the Justice Department.” Professional what, he did not say.

A professional (although not really looking either alive or well)

Fresh off calling Obama presumptuous, McCain today phoned Georgian President Saakashvili and told him, evidently speaking on behalf of the American people, “I told him that I know I speak for every American when I said to him, today, we are all Georgians.” American readers: Is that true?

poll by twiigs.com

Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century

Bush gave a jolly stiff public scolding to Russia today, saying, “It now appears that an effort may be underway to depose Russia’s duly elected government.” Georgia, Russia, whatever, but hey weren’t the Olympics cool and didja see how I nearly touched that volleyball player’s ass and couldja not tell Laura ‘bout that?


“Russia has invaded a sovereign neighboring state and threatens a democratic government elected by its people. Such an action is unacceptable in the 21st century.” Yes, that’s sooooo 1953. (The word unacceptable, while laughably inadequate, puts the emphasis precisely where Bush wants it, on us: what’s important is not what’s right or wrong, but what the United States is willing or unwilling to accept.)


“These actions have substantially damaged Russia’s standing in the world.” That’s funny, because the US is usually standing in the world on the neck of some smaller, militarily weak nation.

I don’t see America having problems

Bush gave an interview to Bob Costas of NBC Sports.

What did the American basketball team say to him? “Their response was -- well, first of all, obviously these are great stars. And their response was, thanks for coming”.

Interestingly, he responded to Costas’ description of China as “an authoritarian state” with “That’s true.”

But Costas also said that America’s problems reduce its leverage with China, and this could not stand: “First of all, I don’t see America having problems.” Your not seeing America having problems is in fact one of America’s problems. He went on, “I see America as a nation that is a world leader, that has got great values.”

WHAT IN THE LONG RUN AMERICAN BETTER DO: “In the long run, America better remain engaged with China, and understand that we can have a cooperative and constructive, yet candid relationship.” How very... alliterative.

BUSH FINDS THE RUSSO-GEORGIAN WAR INTERESTING: “It was just interesting to me that here we are trying to promote peace and harmony and we’re witnessing a conflict take place.”

WHAT GEORGE’S ATTITUDE IS: “My attitude is, is if you got relations with Mr. Bashir, think about helping to solve the humanitarian crisis in Darfur. That was my message to the Chinese government.”

WHAT GEORGE HAD A CHANCE TO SAY TO THE CHINESE PEOPLE: “I went to church here, and I’m sure the cynics say, well, you know, it was just a state-sponsored church. On the other hand -- and that’s true. On the other hand, it gave me a chance to say to the Chinese people, religion won’t hurt you, you ought to welcome religious people. And it gave me a chance to say to the government, why don’t you register the underground churches and give them a chance to flourish? And he listened politely. I can’t read his mind, but I do know that every time I met with him I pressed the point.”

WHAT IT’S VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO KNOW. VERY IMPORTANT: “Bob, it’s very important for the American people to know that coming here gave me a chance, obviously, to root for our team, and you’ve captured that, but it’s also coming here is a sign of respect for the Chinese people.”

Disproportionate response

Army Field Manual Title of the Day: “Money as a Weapon System.”

Bush sort of condemns fellow imperialist Russia: “I’ve expressed my grave concern about the disproportionate response of Russia and that we strongly condemn the bombing outside of South Ossetia.” I assume “disproportionate” is here meant as disproportionately large rather than disproportionately small, you never really know with Bush, but the concept of a “disproportionate response” naturally entails the existence of a proportionate, hence legitimate, response by Russia to events inside of Georgia. The last bit suggests that Russia had the right to attack Georgian forces inside of South Ossetia but not, for example, to bomb Tbilisi.

“I was very firm with Vladimir Putin,” Bush told NBC, which, well, ick.

For your captioning and/or cringing pleasure, some more pics of Bush at the Olympics:

George goes to the Olympics!

Caption contest. What did Putin say to Bush Friday?


What tips about men’s basketball did Henry Kissinger share?


Ooo, shiny!


White men can’t clap.

Universal remote

Bush attended services at one of the state-licensed Ant churches in Beijing (Protestant but with no protest permitted). He said, “You know, I’ve just -- Laura and I just had the great joy and privilege of worshiping here in Beijing, China. You know, it just goes to show that God is universal, and God is love, and no state, man or woman should fear the influence of loving religion.” What goes to show that? You went to church in China, which proves that God is universal and God is love? What does “God is universal” even mean?

Of boars and butts

Bush gave his weekly radio address from China, and hey guess what, he’s learned something important: “This trip has reaffirmed my belief that men and women who aspire to speak their conscience and worship their God are no threat to the future of China.” He doesn’t say what he saw or heard that reaffirmed that belief. Maybe another of those magic rainbows. He continued, “They are the people who will make China a great nation in the 21st century.” This actually goes further than he usually goes, beyond a plea for tolerance to one for actual dominance by God-botherers.

You’ve probably seen the footage of Bush looking at his watch during the opening ceremonies.


Meanwhile, back in the States, McCain was campaigning yesterday at the Iowa State Fair. Here is the winner of the, ahem, Big Boar competition.


Back to China. At, I believe, the exact moment Laura and Not-Jenna were touring the Forbidden City, Bush was attempting to explore a little forbidden city of his own.




Wow, look at that ass.

And we all know to what I was referring by “that ass,” don’t we?

This has been another episode of Subtle Political Commentary Theater.


Oh, and Georgia just declared a state of war with Russia. Just sayin’.

Headline of the Day

“Dog-Cloner Denies She Was Mormon Sex Kidnapper.”

I may be wrong, but did American newspapers completely fail to pick up the story, run in several British papers a few days ago, about the Israeli secret police telling Gazans that they could only enter Israel for emergency medical treatment (including one at risk of going blind, who has indeed lost the use of one eye) if they became informers?

Caption contest (at the dedication of the new American embassy in Beijing):

It’s not easy to go from a very fierce military one-man rule to democracy

In Thailand, after having lunch with Burmese activists, Bush held an interview with Voice of America, the BBC, Radio Free Asia and the Democratic Voice of Burma on the subject of his intense interest in the situation in Burma. He demonstrated his level of interest by calling Aung San Suu Kyi “Aung Suu San Kyi,” twice, and not even attempting to name the guy running the country except as “the general” or “the military leader,” as in “We have been tough, because we believe that the General -- the General -- has been very stubborn in not allowing certain freedoms, and we believe that’s wrong.” Two names, George, that’s all you had to memorize.

IN OTHER WORDS: “But I don’t think it would have been helpful for the Burmese people had there been a conflict over the delivery of aid. What we don’t want to do is compound a terrible situation. In other words, if we just sent in -- sent people in, our military in without visas or permission from the government, there’s no telling what the reaction would have been.”

Why did “the general” respond so badly to the cyclone? “I think his reaction was -- is because he was in denial to a certain extent about the realities on the ground.” Imagine what that must be like.


NO WAND-WAVING: “I wish there was a magic wand to wave; there isn’t.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “You know, one of the things that obviously the people involved in the democracy movement have got to think through is how do you get from here to there. In other words, it’s not easy to go from a very fierce military one-man rule to democracy.”

WHAT THEY WOULD DO IF THEY WERE INTERESTED IN DEMOCRACY: “They have proved they’re not interested in democracy. If they’re interested in democracy, they’d let the prisoners out of prison, for starters. The political prisoners would be a given to chance to leave and live in a free life.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “And that’s a -- this is a priority. In other words, there’s -- and others have different priorities.”

A Pacific nation, but not a pacific nation

Gov. Schwarzenegger is threatening that if the California legislature doesn’t pass a budget soon, he will veto a bill to deny dental licenses to registered sex offenders.

Bush is still in Thailand. Here he is holding a traditional puangmalai, which is a, um, I dunno, a traditional Thai cock ring?


And here he is watching a traditional Thai dance. Where’s that puangmalai, George?


George says that “When I became President, I brought a conviction that America is a Pacific nation”. A conviction, huh? Of course, with George’s map-reading skills, he’s also convinced the United States is on the Indian Ocean and the Sea of Tranquility.

Americans don’t need foreign approval to lead their lives as they see fit

In an amusing email yesterday, RNC chair Robert Duncan (while falsely claiming that Obama plans to give $845b to “United Nations’ redistribution efforts”) complained that Barack Obama dared to call himself a citizen of the world:

It seems the Democrats’ would-be president of the United States of America really believes that the rest of the world’s problems, and approval, trump the interests of Americans when it comes to how we live our lives and where our money is spent. While stumping for the support of his party’s leftist base, Obama proclaimed, “we can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times . . . and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK.”

Therefore, Duncan goes on, we should all give the Republican Party money to “show Barack Obama that Americans don’t need foreign approval to lead their lives as they see fit, and that he ought to remember that he is running for president of the United States, not the United Nations.”

Yeah, Barack, you really ought to remember that.

Bush in Thailand

Bush then traveled from South Korea to Thailand.

WHAT AMERICAN CITIZENS DON’T UNDERSTAND: “I don’t think our citizens understand this, Mr. Prime Minister, but we’ve dedicated $35 million to help prevent and treat HIV/AIDS here in Thailand, and we’re happy to do so.”

Laura will be visiting a refugee camp on the Thai-Burma border. George says “She’s looking forward to the trip, and I’m looking forward to hearing her report from the trip.” I’m not sure you’re really supposed to, you know, “look forward” to visiting a refugee camp.

AS EVER, IT’S ALL ABOUT THE FREE GRUB (GRUBS IN SATAY SAUCE?): “We’re looking forward to eating some good Thai food”.

Bush in South Korea: And my hope is that the axis of evil list no longer exists

Bush was in South Korea this morning, and held a press conference with the Korean president. As ever, Bush focused with laser-like intensity on the most important aspect of the meetings: “And Laura and I and Barbara are looking forward to lunch.”



He was asked about the pre-Olympics crack-down on human rights in China, and responded, not for the first time, by talking about only one human right, religious: “I’ve been meeting with Chinese leaders now for seven and a half years; my message has been the same: You should not fear religious people in your society”.



But then again, asked about North Korea coming off the list of state sponsors of terrorism, he talked only about nuclear weapons: “They got to, like, show us a verification regime that we can trust.”

They’ll also have to do that to get off what Bush calls “the axis of evil list.”



ALSO, SANTA’S “NAUGHTY OR NICE” LIST, BECAUSE HE’S TIRED OF GETTING LUMPS OF COAL: “And my hope is that the ‘axis of evil’ list no longer exists. That’s my hope, for the sake of peace.”

Although one thing is for certain: “I mean, one thing is for certain that he did blow up the cooling tower.”



After that lunch, he went to a US Army garrison because “I always look forward to the chance to say ‘Hooah!’” Well, who doesn’t? Say it with me right now: Hooah!



Are your co-workers giving you the same look my cat’s giving me right now?



THE RUBBLES OF WAR: “We’ve worked with our allies to help build a free and prosperous country out of the rubbles of war.”

He liked the South Korean army too (what’s the Korean for “Hooah!”?): “One of the signs of Korea’s emergence is a professional and capable military. It’s one of the things you look for, when you see a country begin to get on its feet and take control of its destiny, is what kind of military does it have?” One that overthrew the civilian government and ruled with an iron fist, crushing all dissent, for thirty years, thank you for asking.

Really hard to tell

In an interview with the WaPo, Bush says it’s “really hard to tell” how free China is. Is it now?

HE’S THE REMINDERER: “My main objective in my discussions on religious freedom is to remind this new generation of leadership that religion is not to be feared but to be welcomed in society.”

Asked whether all his quiet diplomacy actually has any effect on Hu Jintao, he said, “Oh, I think he listens, absolutely. I think he’s interested. ... He absorbs, he takes in, he listens.” He fidgets, he checks his watch discretely, he counts ceiling tiles, he checks his watch not so discretely, he crosses and re-crosses his legs while stifling yawns, he checks his watch pointedly...

Asked about the crackdown on dissidents, Tibetans and, well, everyone leading up to the Olympics, Bush said, “They’re hypersensitive to a potential terrorist attack,” adopting the Chinese regime’s position that anyone who disagrees with it is a potential terrorist.

But there are bright signs: “The Internet provides interesting opportunities for people to express themselves. Sometimes it’s open, sometimes the filters are there.” Schmuck, that just applies to the internet access provided to foreign reporters covering the Olympics. For everyone else, it’s never open, the filters are always there.

I must be in a slump, I can’t even think of a title for this post

Sorry, had nothing to say all weekend. At least I didn’t write a post about how Obama is just like Heathcliff, or Martin Chuzzlewit, or something.

I have spent some time trying to decide, if Obama is “The One,” does that make McCain “The Two” (or possibly “Number Two” or “Twosies”) or “The Zero”? When you have a blog, this is the sort of decision you have to make every single day.

CAPTION CONTEST: Sunday, Cindy McCain with Jack Bauer at a NASCAR event.


Another messenger from God is heard from (why do messengers from God always seem to carry firearms?)

Speaking of messengers from God:

The root of all evil, if you know what I mean

Headline of the Day, attached to a letter to the NYT by someone in the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women: “Stop Prostitution at Its Root.”

Caption contest, McCain today at the National Urban League conference:

It’s all part of making sure that our foreign policy is active

In advance of his last presidential visit to Asia, Bush was interviewed back to back yesterday by miscellaneous Asian print media, by Korean tv, Thai tv, and by one...wait for it... Fuqing Yang of Chinese state-run tv.

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE FOOD WITH HIM: “I’ll see the Prime Minister of Thailand for a nice dinner.”

He’ll also be making a speech in Thailand in his capacity as Reminder-in-Chief: “I will also remind people that I will be sprinting to the finish, that I will finish this job strong.”

WHY GEORGE WON’T ATTEMPT TO GO STRAIGHT: “Part of the reason that I’m stopping in South Korea prior to going to the Olympics -- I mean, one could have attempted just to go straight to the Olympics, but I want to come to South Korea -- I had just come from Japan, and it’s all part of making sure that our foreign policy is active.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “There’s plenty of room for countries to work with -- the three countries you mentioned with other countries in the region in a constructive way. In other words, I don’t view the diplomacy as zero sum, it’s got to be either this country or that country.”

NATIONS ARE SAYING WAIT A MINUTE: “ASEAN is a place where the United States can remain -- should remain actively engaged with nations who are saying -- say, wait a minute, we’re your friends, as well. Don’t just focus on the big guys, think about us.”

VERY: “It’s very important for the President to be very consistent.”

BUT THERE’D STILL BE CAKE: “The fact that both countries [the US and China] are honoring the 30th anniversary of the relationship shows that -- it’s a statement about good relations. If we had bad relations we wouldn’t be honoring the 30th. It would be, okay, here comes the 30th anniversary, who cares?”

Both countries are opening new embassies in each other’s capitals. Bush doesn’t know the name of the architect of the American embassy but does know the name of the architect of the Chinese embassy... I.M. Pei.

GETTING INVOLVED: “I know it’s important for our generals and admirals to deal with their counterparts. And I believe, more importantly, or as importantly, we ought to be getting younger Chinese officers involved with younger U.S. officers. Why? To create a feeling of trust.”

AND AN ALMOST FANATICAL DEVOTION TO THE POPE: “An American President has got to know two things: one, the nature of the person he’s dealing with, and the nature of the government he’s dealing with, and the pressures that government feels.”

AND THE EASTER BUNNY: “As you know, I’m a believer in human dignity and human rights.”

SPEAKING OF WORDS NOT OFTEN ASSOCIATED WITH GEORGE BUSH: “And if we do we’ll be gracious in victory, and if we don’t we’ll be humble in defeat.”

ONE OF GEORGE’S CONCERNS: “See, one of my concerns is that we -- that America gets so comfortable they say, who cares; what does it matter whether or not somebody has got HIV/AIDS?”

IN OTHER WORDS: “One thing that interests me is to watch China’s leaders deal with the benefits and challenges of a marketplace. In other words, this is a country that has got a lot of mouths to feed and a lot of people to employ.”

THAT POOR, POOR INTERPRETER: “And yet, I can report to you that we [he and Hu Jintao] do have cordial, relaxed conversations -- in spite of the fact that we both have interpreters. It’s much easier when you are dealing with a person that speaks your own language. Since the only one I speak is English, it’s important to have English speakers. But here is a man who I have had some -- I feel comfortable talking about his family, and he asks about mine. And that may sound trite to you, but nevertheless it’s a part of getting comfortable with each other.” You’ll have noticed he’s forgotten that he’s supposed to know Spanish.

WHAT AMAZES GEORGE: “You know the thing that amazes me? The South Korean women golfers.”

ON NORTH KOREA, GEORGE UTTERS A ZEN KOAN: “There’s a lot of people in this country saying, why are you going forward when you can’t trust them? And my answer is, why don’t we go forward with a process that will enable us to trust them?”

WHAT GEORGE FINDS INTERESTING ABOUT HIMSELF: “It’s interesting that I’m giving a speech about the whole Far East in Thailand.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Well, because it’s -- first of all, the assumption is that when you give a comprehensive speech in the Far East, it would be in, you know, China or Japan or, you know -- and Thailand is, one, a long-time friend; two, is an important part of ASEAN. In other words, there’s -- the Far East is more than just the countries that dominate the news.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “And so, therefore, if you’re going to give a comprehensive speech, you give it in a country that makes it -- just by the sight alone indicates how comprehensive the policy must be. In other words, you can’t ignore other countries if you focus only on a few.”

WHAT THE THAI PEOPLE WERE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN: “The Thai -- the Thai people were just fabulous, and always have been.”

ASKED WHAT HE WOULD DO AFTER JANUARY: “Hopefully I will contribute to mankind in positive ways.” Maybe as an organ donor.

THE SPORTSMAN COMETH: “And I’m coming as the president of a friend, and I’m coming as a sportsman.”

BUT MOST OF ALL, HE’S COMING FOR THE FREE GRUB: “I’m going to have a dinner with President Hu Jintao, who I like.”

He reminisced about visiting China in 1975: “People -- I can remember going to a department store, and nobody had seen a Westerner. And they were amazed when I would go. And I would go with my mother and my sister. And they were amazed. It was like we were, like, from a different planet.”

Yes, very like that. Very like that indeed.