David Cameron’s statement the spot of bother in London: We will not let a violent few beat us

With riots on the mean streets of Tottenham and elsewhere in England (Scotland informs me that it would prefer if everyone stop talking about rioting in the UK), David Cameron returned from his vacation, where his biggest problem was that he was caught stiffing a waitress, recalled Parliament and made a statement to it today.

NOT JUST A LITTLE UNACCEPTABLE: “What we have seen on the streets of London and in other cities across our country is completely unacceptable”.

WHAT WE WILL NOT ALLOW: “We will not allow a culture of fear to exist on our streets.” What exactly is a “culture of fear” when it’s at home?

SIMPLY PREPOSTEROUS (IT’S JUST NOT A TORY SPEECH UNLESS SOMETHING IS DESCRIBED AS SIMPLY PREPOSTEROUS): “It is simply preposterous for anyone to suggest that people looting in Tottenham at the weekend, still less three days later Salford, were in any way doing so because of the death of Mark Duggan.” I’m not going to psychoanalyze people based on some CCTV footage, but I don’t see anger over the police shooting yet another dark-skinned man and then lying about it, and opportunistic thieving as being mutually exclusive. Both are the result of alienation, social exclusion, state hostility and “austerity” measures.

WHAT STEALING FLAT-SCREEN TELEVISIONS WAS ABOUT: “The young people stealing flat screen televisions and burning shops was not about politics or protest, it was about theft.”

He defended publishing photos of looters and “no phoney human rights concerns” will stop him. Phew, because I was worried that phoney human rights concerns would stop him.

140 PUNCHES OR LESS: “And when people are using social media for violence we need to stop them.” He is considering “whether it would be right to stop people communicating via these websites and services when we know they are plotting violence, disorder and criminality.”

“I have also asked the police if they need any other new powers.” I’m guessing they’ll say no. Cops always think they have quite enough powers, thank you very much.

WELL AND TRULY: “The fight back has well and truly begun.” We will fight them in the Miss Selfridges, we will fight them in the Boots... Every British prime minister thinks he’s bloody Winston Churchill.

COL. PICKERING: HAVE YOU NO MORALS, MAN?
ALFRED DOOLITTLE: CAN’T AFFORD THEM, GOVERNOR. NEITHER COULD YOU IF YOU WAS AS POOR AS ME. (George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion, 1912)
“[T]here is a major problem in our society with children growing up not knowing the difference between right and wrong. This is not about poverty, it’s about culture.” There’s that word again.
“A culture that glorifies violence, shows disrespect to authority, and says everything about rights but nothing about responsibilities.” Because it just wouldn’t be a Tory speech about the lower orders without some mention of how everyone talks about rights and no one talks about responsibilities. “In too many cases, the parents of these children – if they are still around – don’t care where their children are or who they are with, let alone what they are doing.” Says the man who’s been merrily cutting every youth and sports program in sight.

WHAT WE NEED: “We need more discipline in our schools.” I didn’t see the speech, but I’m assuming every male Tory MP put a paper over his lap to disguise the stiffy brought about by any mention of the word “discipline.”

“In short, all the action necessary to help mend our broken society.”

TERRITORIAL, HIERARCHICAL AND INCREDIBLY VIOLENT – ISN’T THAT THE TORY PARTY MOTTO? “At the heart of all the violence sits the issue of the street gangs. Territorial, hierarchical and incredibly violent, they are mostly composed of young boys, mainly from dysfunctional homes.” David, for example, was sent away to Eton.

AND IF THERE’S ONE THING WE ENGLISH HATE, IT’S EMOTIONS: “Mr Speaker, in the past few days we have seen a range of emotions sweep this country: anger, fear, frustration, despair, sadness – and finally a determined resolve that we will not let a violent few beat us.”

FOR EXAMPLE, MANY OF OUR YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DESTROYING PROPERTY AND PERPETRATING VIOLENCE IN THE BRITISH ARMY IN AFGHANISTAN: “We need to show the world, which has looked on appalled, that the perpetrators of the violence we have seen on our streets are not in any way representative of our country – nor of our young people.”

OR WE COULD PLAY TO OUR STRENGTHS AND INTRODUCE ARSON AND LOOTING EVENTS IN THE OLYMPICS: “And a year away from the Olympics, we need to show them the Britain that doesn’t destroy, but that builds; that doesn’t give up but stands up; that doesn’t look back, but always forwards.” Really? He really had to mention the Olympics? At least he didn’t use the phrase Big Society.

I’m no doctor, but isn’t pregnant women not spontaneously bursting into flames a GOOD thing?

LAT: “Pregnant California Women Show High Levels of Flame Retardant.”

Today -100: August 11, 1911: Of mutinies, arbitration, trolleys, and losers

The Spanish government claims that the 26 sailors shot for mutiny were part of a Republican revolutionary plot.

There have been rumors that Teddy Roosevelt is working behind the scenes to stop ratification of the arbitration treaties with Britain and France. (Spoiler alert: He is.)

Oh good, another street car strike atrocity: a Pittsburgh (motto: Now with An H!!!) trolley drives over a bottle of nitroglycerine, partially blowing up, but somehow without any of the twenty-some-odd passengers getting killed.

The Georgia Legislature calls on Congress to abrogate the 1832 treaty with Russia because of its refusal to honor American passports held by Jews. Yes, the Peach State is all about upholding the rights of Jews.

South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease revokes the licenses of three notary publics who supported the charge of a railroad ticket agent that Blease had tried to cut in line and then insulted her when she told him to wait his turn.

Headline of the Day -100: “WED MRS. LOSER AND $300,000.” Mrs. Loser marries her chauffeur.

Today -100: August 10, 1911: Of milk, maneuvers, and elevated officials

I believe I mentioned that President Taft’s cow would be a special exhibit at the International Dairy Show in Milwaukee. Well, her milk will be sold at 50¢ for a small bottle. Souvenir milk – who came up with that brilliant idea?

Orange, NJ bans Carrie Davenport from teaching in Orange schools. She is black.

The Texas Legislature shouts down a proposal that Booker T. Washington be allowed to speak in the Capitol.

Airplanes will participate in German military maneuvers for the first time.

Headline of the Day -100: “CHOOSE ELEVATED OFFICIALS.” The guys in charge of Chicago’s El. So it’s the train tracks that are elevated, not the officials.

Today -100: August 9, 1911: Of restored h’s, mutinies, duels, and states

The long national nightmare is over: The spelling of Pittsburg is being changed back to Pittsburgh. That decision was made by the Post Office (or the United States Geographic Board?). The city had been demanding its h back for the last 20 years.

There was a mutiny a couple of days ago aboard a Spanish battleship anchored off Tangier. 26 sailors have been court-martialed and executed.

An East Chicago man who challenged another man to a duel (both have Serbian names) is sentenced to a fine, jail and, interestingly, disfranchisement, under a law against challenging someone to a duel, the first time the Illinois law has been used.

The bill for statehood for Arizona and New Mexico passes the Senate 53-18. An attempt to strike out Arizona’s provision for the recall of judges was voted down, but AZ will be required to vote on that provision separately from the referendum on the entire constitution. However, it will be admitted to the Union however that vote goes.

Quote of the Day

If you’re the lieutenant governor of Missouri, Peter Kinder, and you’re planning to run for governor in 2012, this is probably not what you want to have to send your spokesmodel out to say: “I really highly doubt the lieutenant governor is going to a bar where they don’t wear pants on a night when they don’t wear pants.”

Today -100: August 8, 1911: Of women’s games, stilts, and cleaning up

The mayor of Hunnewell, Kansas, Ella Wilson, is in a death-struggle with the all-male city council. They won’t confirm any of her appointments and she won’t sign any of the ordinances they pass. She says she would quit if she could, and that “politics is not a woman’s game,” but instead is working with the governor to oust the council.

Headline of the Day -100: “FIREMEN FIGHT BLAZE IN HOUSE ON STILTS.” Sadly, it was the house (the Jamaica Bay Yacht Club) which was on stilts, not the firemen.

Pathé begins the first newsreel in America, Pathé’s Weekly.

NYT Index Typo of the Day: “TY COBB CLEANS UP WITH BABES FULL.”

Today -100: August 7, 1911: Of crap shooters, slavery, trolleys, and icebergs

Haiti’s revolutionary army proclaims as president one Gen. Cincinnatus Leconte, the great-grandson of a previous Emperor of Haiti. Spoiler alert: contrary to his name, he did not return to his plow, but was blowed up in 1912.

Topic Sentence of the Day -100: A story headlined “Negro is Killed By His Own Pistol” begins “Moses Hill, a negro [okay, we get it already: he’s a negro], who had a reputation as a crap shooter, met his death by his own hand as a result of that talent yesterday morning.” No, “crap shooter” doesn’t mean he was a really bad shot but rather that three white men he beat playing craps decided to beat the crap out of him and he drew a gun. My, the word crap is so versatile, isn’t it?

Mississippi’s Democratic primary (all-white, of course) last week chose former governor James Vardaman as candidate for US Senate. Many black people are now fleeing the state, believing that when he is elected, slavery will be restored. To be fair to Vardaman – the white supremacist shit – he only advocates repealing the 14th and 15th Amendments, not the 13th.

Why are street car strikes always so violent? The one in Des Moines has ended because a court ordered the reinstatement of the conductor whose dismissal was the cause of the strike, but another one in Brooklyn/Coney Island features the usual wrecking of cars, beating of scabs and terrorizing of passengers. The street car operators want an increase in pay from 23¢ an hour to 25¢.

Interesting details of the Columbia’s collision with the iceberg.

Today -100: August 6, 1911: Of sabers, Confederate nickels, Doc Hazzard, trolleys, and patents

In Berlin, a burglar kills a cop trying to arrest him. New orders have gone out to the Berlin PD concerning the use of service revolvers: they can now use them first, rather than having to try their sabers first. To reiterate: cops in Berlin had sabers.

More Berlin police news: police have issued a warning against some Confederate bills that have been circulating, brought back by an artisan who was living in the US until recently.

After a patient dies while taking the starvation cure at the Hazzard Institution – she can’t say she wasn’t warned – Dr. Linda Hazzard is arrested for killing patients to take their money.

Rioting by striking street car workers in Des Moines succeeds in making every scab flee the city.

The US issues its one millionth patent: a puncture-proof tire. (Update: Oh, actually no. 1m as issued by the Patent Office since it was created in 1836. There were 9,957 issued 1790-1836.)

If you hop while eating BBQ, you’re going to get very messy, or am I missing the point?

Fox News complains that Obama’s birthday “Hip-Hop BBQ Didn’t Create Jobs.”

Speaking of Hip-Hop birthdays, the day Katrina hit New Orleans...

Today -100: August 5, 1911: Of alphabets, poltroons, Reciprocity, and icebergs

Rep. Fred Jackson (R-Kansas) introduces a bill calling on Taft to call a conference of all nations to consider the creation of a Universal Scientific Alphabet.

German ultra-nationalists are worried that the government may compromise with France over Morocco. The Pan-German Post calls Kaiser Wilhelm “The Valorous Poltroon.” What is the German for poltroon, and how do you spell it in the Universal Scientific Alphabet?

Update: Google Translate says the German for poltroon is feigling, which seems to me to capture the literal meaning but not the tone.

President Taft names his new horse Reciprocity, after the Canadian trade treaty. There’s probably a joke in that somewhere.

In a freak accident that will never be repeated, the passenger liner Columbia, traveling from Glasgow to New York, hits an iceberg. No one was hurt.

Somebody needs a better travel agent

White House press releases today:

On Tuesday, August 9, the President will travel to Interstate Moving Services in Springfield, Virginia, to announce first of their kind fuel efficiency standards for work trucks, buses, and other heavy duty vehicles.

On Thursday, August 11, the President will travel to Holland, Michigan, to tour the Johnson Controls Inc. advanced battery facility.

The Vice President will depart for China, Mongolia, and Japan on August 16, 2011.

Today -100: August 4, 1911: Of three-time losers, arbitration, monkeys, and cows

William Jennings Bryan says he will never run for president again. And he won’t.

The US signs arbitration treaties with both Britain and France. Even matters of “honor” are to be settled through arbitration.

Upton Sinclair announces that he plans to write a book about the horrors of prisons. What on earth did they do to him during his 18 hours at the New Castle Workhouse?

Headline of the Day -100 (LAT): “A Monkey Chews Gum.”

Headline of the Day -100: “Taft to Exhibit Cow.”

Unfortunate Headline of the Day

AP: “Heather Mills: Journalist Told Me I’d Been Hacked.”

Today -100: August 3, 1911: Of enlistments, extinctions, women lawyers, menacing revolutions, and useless husbands

There is a controversy in the US Army over whether army enlistments should be short, with a high turnover so that a large number of people can be trained and then called up if needed, or conversely whether enlistments should be increased to five years.

The chief health officer of Richmond, Virginia, notes that negroes have a higher death rate than whites and predicts they will become extinct in the 21st century.

Arabella (“Belle”) Mansfield, the first woman admitted to the bar in the US (Iowa, 1868), although she never actually practiced law, dies. She was dean of the College of Arts at DePauw University.

Well that was fast: “New Revolution Menaces Mexico.”

Condescending Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “They’ll Give Up Candy For Sake of Suffrage.” California suffragists are fund-raising for the October state referendum on women’s suffrage through a “self-denial week.”

Headline of the Day -100: “KILLED USELESS HUSBAND.; Wife Gives Excuse That She Could Not Make a Man of Him.” But she could make a dead man of him – it’s compromises like this that make marriages work.

The Southern Pacific Railroad will no longer hire women. They get married just when they’re becoming useful.

Because nothing empowers women like telling them what they can and can’t wear

Italy is joining other European countries in planning to ban the burqa with a new law requiring women’s faces to be visible. Since the proposal comes from Silvio Berlusconi’s party, it will probably also require their breasts to be visible.

Today -100: August 2, 1911: Of reapportionment, Sunday golf, and braaaaaiiinnnsss!

The reapportionment bill is going through despite opposition from Robert La Follette, who notes that the changes will disadvantage Republican Insurgents in the Electoral College, and from a few mainstream Republicans like Elihu Root, who think any reapportionment will work in favor of Democrats (which it will, because R’s did so badly in so many state legislature elections in 1910).

Follow up: Upton Sinclair and the ten other members of the Arden, Del. Single Tax colony will serve 18 hours in the workhouse for violations of the blue laws. Sinclair, imprisoned for felonious tennis-playing, now plans to go on the offensive against the blue laws by applying for arrest warrants for anyone who plays golf or other games on the sabbath. Wilmington Country Club, you have been warned!

Headline of the Day -100: “Doctors Buy Her Brain.” Progressive teacher Celeste Parrish. She has a really good memory. They’ll wait until she’s dead to collect it.

A detailed case

Obama, in his announcement yesterday of the debt ceiling deal: “And over the next few months, I’ll continue to make a detailed case to these lawmakers about why I believe a balanced approach is necessary to finish the job.” After all this time, he still thinks it’s about reasoned discussion, healthy debate, back and forth, making a detailed case. Dude’s learned nothing.

Today -100: August 1, 1911: Of sugar and anarchist sabbatarians

The House Special Committee investigating the Sugar Trust held a sugar-tasting session. They decided that French sugar was the tastiest.

George Brown, a philosopher and anarchist, angered by his treatment at the (Henry) Georgian Single-Tax utopian colony in Arden, Delaware, where his espousal of his views at a meeting of the Economic Club after they had expelled him from membership earned him a $2 fine (and 5 days in the workhouse when he refused to pay), is seeking his revenge by swearing out warrants for the arrest of all the top leaders at Arden for violations of the state’s blue laws. He charges Upton Sinclair with having played tennis on a Sunday and others with playing baseball or selling ice cream.

Super

So there will be a “Super Congress.” Prepare for much hilarity in the days ahead as we discover which members of the current Congress are considered “super.”

Happy now?

Paul Krugman reminds us of Obama’s press conference last December after he gave in on tax cuts for the rich, when he was asked whether not having addressed the debt ceiling left the Republicans with significant leverage and Obama said that Boehner would never be so crass as to do that.

In my analysis of that press conference, which is worth re-reading (if I do say so myself) as a reminder of how smug and self-righteous Obama was about his so-called pragmatism, I see that Obama said this: “I am happy to be tested over the next several months about our ability to negotiate with Republicans.”

Today -100: July 31, 1911: Of raging kaisers

Headline of the Day -100: “Kaiser in Rage on Morocco.” He’s pissed at Foreign Minister Baron von Kiderlen-Waechter (say that three times fast), who had thought that Britain wouldn’t back France up, even though they have a mutual defense treaty.

In the Canadian elections, the Conservatives are making a big deal over a telegram Taft sent to the Hearst newspapers, thanking them for supporting the tariff reciprocity treaty. Since William Randolph Hearst also advocates annexation of Canada, the Conservatives say that this telegram obviously means that Taft does too.

Today -100: July 30, 1911: Of popular wars, bloodless revolutions, elections, bounties, and guillotines

A “highly qualified American observer of European affairs” thinks that the Moroccan crisis shows that a war between Britain and Germany might not be unpopular in Britain.

The NYT reassures its readers that the ongoing revolution in Haiti is bloodless.

The Canadian Parliament has been dissolved, and elections will be fought in part on the reciprocity treaty with the US.

The government of Persia offers a $100,000 reward for the head of the former shah, Mohammed Ali Mirza, who is trying to recapture the throne.

The Paris guillotine (the “widow”) is moved inside La Santé Prison. In future it will no longer be ceremonially transported to the prison prior to executions on a cart drawn by a white horse (French executions were public until 1939). The guillotine had been kept in a shed outside the house of the public executioner, Anatole Deibler (who inherited the job from his father, and also married into a family of executioners, which is not at all creepy). He assembled guillotines himself, IKEA-style, from parts ordered from separate carpenters and joiners, so none of them knew what they were working on. He also put together guillotines intended for export. China just ordered one. Deibler’s “staff has a sense of humor, for a year or two ago they amused themselves by strapping their chief to ‘the widow,’ with his neck under the fatal knife, and left him there for quite a while to appreciate the sensation of one of the condemned wretches whom he has so often dispatched to the next world.”

Projecting

George Bush explains the Pet Goat thing: “I wanted to project a sense of calm. I had been in enough crises to know that the first thing a leader has to do is to project calm.” He added, “But mostly I wanted to wait until I stopped projecting pee.”

Daily Telegraphy: Kitler, gay alligators, humble days, and juggler’s hat sex acts

Headlines of the Day, from the One True Source of All News:

“Hitler Cat Fails to Find Home.” Poor Kitler.


“Judge Tells Teacher Sex Offender: ‘I don’t criticise you for being attracted to children.’” A (female) judge with a record of leniency towards sex criminals – “In 2008, she allowed former headmaster Phillip Carmichael to walk free from court after accepting that medication for Parkinson’s disease had turned him into a paedophile” – who maybe shouldn’t have been given this kiddie porn case. “Reading Crown Court was told that the teaching assistant became alarmed after noticing files on Armstrong’s laptop with names including ‘rape wife’, ‘nude model’ and ‘gay alligator’.”

Gay alligator?

“Jonnie Marbles” is convicted of pieing Rupert Murdoch. “The part-time stand-up comic emerged from court and said: ‘I would just like to say this has been the most humble day of my life.’”

“Harry Potter Dwarf Spared Jail over Juggler’s Hat Sex Act.” To clarify, he is a dwarf in real life and a goblin in Harry Potter (and an Ewok in Return of the Jedi). “It is understood that Read has recently been hiring himself out to stag parties, offering to be handcuffed to the stag while dressed as a diminutive fictional character such as a Smurf or Oompa-Loompa.”

What does the auto club have to do with this?

Obama this morning:
“we could lose our country’s AAA credit rating, not because we didn’t have the capacity to pay our bills -- we do -- but because we didn’t have a AAA political system to match our AAA credit rating.” We do have an AA political system, though, amiright? I’ll be here all week.

WE’RE DOOMED: “I’m confident that common sense and cooler heads will prevail.”

Today -100: July 29, 1911: Of Jews and ashes

Russian Prime Minister Stolypin (Putin’s hero) wants to force banks to stop extending so much credit to Jews. Because the banks are all controlled by Jews and Jews monopolize trade and Jews speculate in the grain trade and blah blah anti-Semitic blah.

Front-Page Headline of the Day -100: “SAYS HE THREW AWAY COL. WARING'S ASHES; Then Mixed Drinks in the Urn at Quarantine Orgy, Testifies Arthur Denyse.”

Today -100: July 28, 1911: Of Morocco and Germany

A NYT editorial tries to put the Moroccan crisis in perspective, or figure out what “international morality” requires, or something. It says that Germany should be supported if its purpose it to nobly preserve the territorial integrity of Morocco (like the US did with China) if “France and Spain are seeking to divide Morocco instead of performing the white man’s duty.” But the paper isn’t sure that Germany really is being noble rather than being just as land-grabby as France and Spain (which it obviously is, just not in Morocco, where it’s playing let’s-make-a-deal), like the US in Panama, “the sole blot on our record.” It warns Germany that “She is too far advanced in civilization to defy those rules of right conduct which only the barbarous exult in ignoring or infringing.” (Spoiler alert: no she isn’t.)

Today -100: July 27, 1911: Of good character, and unwanted lions

An amendment to the Georgia constitution is proposed establishing a “good character” qualification for the franchise, as determined by “respect for good womanhood.” Which seems to mean that a black man would have to have his character attested to by two white women (in person). According to the amendment’s author, Rep. J.J. Slade, “Circulars are being sent to negroes all over the State telling them to qualify for the ballot under the educational and property qualifications. I want to make it impossible for any one with a black or mulatto skin to vote in Georgia, no matter how much book learning he may possess. The protection of the white race demands that negroes be made positively and forever the political inferiors of the whites, as they are their social inferiors.” White men would also have to have white women attest to their character but, according to Slade, “Any good white man can get a good white woman to testify that she would trust him in the dark. If any white man can’t, the scoundrel should be disfranchised.” I’m pretty sure this amendment went nowhere.

A Coney Island amusement park, in a publicity stunt that could in no way have gone horribly, horribly wrong, sent a lion to Theodore Roosevelt’s office, with a letter saying “We are sending you a lioness we have no further use for.”

Today -100: July 26, 1911: Of hotels and fleets

A Chinese man (president of a D.C. YMCA branch) tries a dozen hotels in Ocean Grove, NJ, none would give him a room.

Britain cancels a planned visit by the Atlantic fleet to Norway. This is another slightly veiled threat to Germany over Morocco.

Define “excessive”

Last week, Irish Taoiseach Enda Kenny attacked the Vatican cover-up of sexual abuse by priests. So today the Vatican recalled its ambassador, expressing “surprise and disappointment at certain excessive reactions.” Well we’d certainly hate if anyone reacted excessively to decades of child-rape.

Another day, another Obama address to the nation about the debt ceiling

And it’s pretty much the same one he gave last time and the time before that. Debt bad, default bad, compromise good.

WHEN DID THEY AGREE ON THAT? “Democrats and Republicans agree on the amount of deficit reduction we need. The debate is about how it should be done.”


WHAT MOST AMERICANS DON’T UNDERSTAND: “Most Americans, regardless of political party, don’t understand how we can ask a senior citizen to pay more for her Medicare before we ask corporate jet owners and oil companies to give up tax breaks that other companies don’t get. How can we ask a student to pay more for college before we ask hedge fund managers to stop paying taxes at a lower rate than their secretaries.” How can Republicans ask that? With a song in their heart and a large campaign contribution in their pocket.

ALTHOUGH IT’S A LOT EASIER TO HAVE YOUR WAY... AH, YOU KNOW WHERE I’M GOING HERE. He quoted Jefferson: “Every man cannot have his way in all things.”

---

Then John Boehner came out, to rebut the crazy idea that he cannot have his way in all things.

He was amazed that the federal government does not work in exactly the same way as a small business in Ohio. In fact, he was amazed that it doesn’t work like “every other business in America.” Well see, that’s the source of your amazement right there: government is not actually a business.


Now he’s accusing Obama of not taking yes for an answer, just like Obama accused the Republicans last week. Could this all be just a wacky misunderstanding?

SO SAD: “The sad truth is that the president wanted a blank check six months ago, and he wants a blank check today.”

Boehner refers to “the crisis atmosphere he has created”.

AND THE PURPLER THE GOVERNMENT, THE MORE ORANGE THE PEOPLE (OR SOMETHING): “I’ve always believed that the bigger the government, the smaller the people.”

Today -100: July 25, 1911: Of lynchings and wet Texas

A negro farmer shoots four white farmers in Shreveport, LA “without cause,” and is lynched in front of the negro church.

The Texas prohibition referendum fails, 234,000 to 228,000.

Today -100: July 24, 1911: Of war widows and x-raying souls

Remember how until recently they kept discovering new “last Confederate widows,” some 100-year-old woman who’d married a 100-year-old Confederate veteran when she was a teenager? Well, in 1911 there was at least one living War of Independence widow. Born in 1800, at 19 she married one Hiram Proctor, a veteran of both the Revolution and the War of 1812. She gets a $12 a month pension because of his service in the latter war, and is cared for in a tumble-down cabin in North Carolina by her 90-year-old daughter.

There is a serious scientific dispute going on about whether the human soul can be x-rayed. An experiment is about to be conducted at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Duncan MacDougall of Haverhill, Mass. thinks that it can’t be done, because the skull gets in the way, except perhaps at death, when the soul substance becomes more agitated. He says it gives off a light just like that of interstellar ether. Oh, and that the soul weighs between ½ and 1¼ ounces. MacDougall has performed experiments on dying people that prove it.

The Ultra-Orthodox Jews and the Parking Lot of Doom

Not a lot of pictures of this week’s Jerusalem parking lot protest.


But there was a nice innovation: secular counter-protesters. Unconstrained by sabbatarianism, they can bring their cars and... water pistols.

Debt negotiation caption contest

Obama press conference: Can they say yes to anything?

Obama spoke to the press at 6 pm Friday.

IN OTHER WORDS: He noted that the deal he was offering cut more discretionary spending and raised less in taxes than the Gang of Six Plan. “In other words, this was an extraordinarily fair deal.” Fair in what sense? “If it was unbalanced, it was unbalanced in the direction of not enough revenue.” If it was unbalanced.

Yeah, I know, I’m not even commenting, I’m just repeating his own words in stunned disbelief. Even if – if – you accept that he has to compromise 90% of his position to get anything done, does he have to praise every deal as if it were actually good? I mean, “an extraordinarily fair deal”?

WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN: “I told Speaker Boehner, I’ve told Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi, I’ve told Harry Reid, and I’ve told Mitch McConnell I want them here at 11:00 a.m. tomorrow. We have run out of time. And they are going to have to explain to me how it is that we are going to avoid default.”

AS THE BISHOP SAID TO THE ACTRESS: “my expectation was that Speaker Boehner was going to be willing to go to his caucus and ask them to do the tough thing but the right thing.” On what past record was that expectation based?

THEY’RE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU: “I’ve been left at the altar now a couple of times.”

COCAINE AND HOOKERS (PAID FOR BY LOBBYISTS): “And I think that one of the questions that the Republican Party is going to have to ask itself is can they say yes to anything?” I’d be making more creepy jokes here, but Obama is already saying that he wants Boehner to fuck him in almost as many words.

WITH THE COCAINE AND HOOKERS: “And so then the question becomes, where’s the leadership?”

THAT’S A TRICK QUESTION, RIGHT? “Or, alternatively, how serious are you actually about debt and deficit reduction? Or do you simply want it as a campaign ploy going into the next election?”

WHAT HE CANNOT BELIEVE: “I am confident simply because I cannot believe that Congress would end up being that irresponsible that they would not send a package that avoids a self-inflicted wound to the economy at a time when things are so difficult.” It’s statements like that that make George Bush look like a keen-eyed realist by comparison.

Then there’s this exchange, in which Obama explained that it is always necessary for him to give in to the Tea Partyers:

Q: Mr. President, can you explain why you were offering a deal that was more generous than the Gang of Six, which you seemed to be embracing on Tuesday when you were here?

OBAMA: Because what had become apparent was that Speaker Boehner had some difficulty in his caucus. There are a group of his caucus that actually think default would be okay and have said that they would not vote for increasing the debt ceiling under any circumstances. And so I understand how they get themselves stirred up and the sharp ideological lines that they’ve drawn. And ultimately, my responsibility is to make sure that we avoid extraordinary difficulties to American people and American businesses.

See, it’s his “responsibility” to surrender to people who will not vote to increase the debt ceiling under any circumstances.

BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS SERIOUS LIKE SLASHING BENEFITS TO THE POOR, DISABLED, SICK AND ELDERLY: “So when Norah asked or somebody else asked why was I willing to go along with a deal that wasn’t optimal from my perspective, it was because even if I didn’t think the deal was perfect, at least it would show that this place is serious”.

Considering that before I got around to reading the transcript, I was hearing how angry Obama was, all that “can they say yes to anything” talk indicates that he’s most angry that no one seems to be willing to accept his surrender.

Today -100: July 23, 1911: Of booze, statue mania, a humiliation intolerable for a great nation to endure, and reciprocity

A referendum in Texas on state-wide prohibition is running very close. The southern part of the state voted wet, the north dry. Night riders, fearing negroes would vote against prohibition, warned them against voting. And yes, “warned” includes whipping and shooting.

The city of Paris strikes a blow against “statue mania,” banning the erection of new statues for a period of ten years.

Germany has put forward various demands it wants in exchange for removing its gunboat from Moroccan waters, including a large swathe of the French Congo to be tacked onto its colony of Kameroon. British chancellor of the exchequer David Lloyd George makes a speech (the Mansion House speech, if you’re following along in a Stuff That Lead Up to World War I book) about the importance of Britain not losing its influence in the world, an influence which has been “invaluable for the cause of human liberty” and has “more than once in the past redeemed Continental nations, who are sometimes too apt to forget that service...” Stoopid redeemed Continental nations “...but if a situation were to be enforced upon us in which peace could only be preserved by the surrender of the great and beneficent position that Great Britain has won by centuries of heroism and achievement – by allowing Great Britain to be treated where her interests were vitally affected as if she were of no account in the cabinet of nations – then I say emphatically that peace at that price would be a humiliation intolerable for a great country like ours to endure.” Yup, that was pretty emphatic, all right. This is the British government publicly warning Germany that it will stand by France, a situation that may arise again in the future.

Congress passes the Canadian tariff reciprocity treaty, 53-27. Woo hoo. Now it’s up to Canada, where it’s more vital, in that the treaty would tie Canada’s economy closer to the US’s while loosening its economic dependence on the rest of the Empire.

Obama town hall: Americans chose a divided government, but they didn’t choose a dysfunctional government

This morning, Obama did a “town hall” at the township of the University of Maryland.

THE STAMP WILL, OF COURSE, BE MADE IN CHINA: “I want Congress to send me a set of trade deals that would allow our businesses to sell more products in countries in Asia and South America that are stamped with the words, ‘Made in America.’”

AMERICANS ARE JUST TOO FAT TO RUN OUT WITHOUT PAYING THE TAB: “Basically, there’s some people out there who argue we’re not going to raise the debt ceiling any more. And the problem is, effectively what that’s saying is we’re not going to pay some of our bills. Well, the United States of America does not run out without paying the tab.”

AMERICANS CHOSE WHAT NOW? “In 2010, Americans chose a divided government, but they didn’t choose a dysfunctional government.” They chose a government run by dysfunctional people – big difference.

Oh, and they didn’t “choose” a divided government.


On using the 14th Amendment to raise the debt ceiling: “I have talked to my lawyers. They do not -- they are not persuaded that that is a winning argument.” Why not? And are these the same lawyers who said you could start a war in Libya or kill people anywhere in the world on your personal authority?

He gave his new favorite example of how “this notion that somehow if you’re responsible and you compromise, that somehow you’re giving up your convictions -- that’s absolutely not true”: the Emancipation Proclamation, in which Lincoln was willing to keep slaves in the North in bondage “because he thought it was necessary in terms of advancing the goals of preserving the Union and winning the war.” Indeed, Obama has the Proclamation hanging in the Oval Office, I guess because it’s such a great example of looking like you’re doing something but not actually doing anything. “So, you know what, if Abraham Lincoln could make some compromises as part of governance, then surely we can make some compromises when it comes to handling our budget.”

So Obama is now coming out firmly in favor of compromising over slavery, because leaving some people in shackles is responsible and definitely not “somehow... giving up your convictions”. You don’t even want to know what the next “Grand Compromise” Obama offers the Republicans is going to be.

Headline of the Day

AP: “Poll: Chavez’s Cancer Not Affecting Popularity.”

No, cancer is still pretty unpopular.

Today -100: July 22, 1911: Of duels, hollow tile men, and hyenas

The “Apres Mois” affair continues in Paris, with playwright Henri Bernstein fighting two duels this week, the first with royalist journalist Gustave Tery (pistols, no one hit, although Bernstein nearly bagged a press photographer), the second with royalist editor Leon Daudet (two exchanges of shots, no one hit, then rapiers, a couple of wounds, then “The duelists left the ground without shaking hands,” although one of those wounds was on Daudet’s wrist).

Headline of the Day -100: “Mayor Ends Hopes of Hollow Tile Men.” So now they are without hope, hollow, and made of tile. So sad.

New York movie theaters will show color motion pictures of George V’s coronation.

Other entertainments available in 1911: a Minnesota – side show, I think – featured a 6-year-old boy locked in a cage with seven unfriendly hyenas. Fun for the whole family.

Today -100: July 21, 1911: Of PI/clown/fake burglars

I read this story only by chance. I was skimming the page and the word “clown” caught my eye: Frank Wacrous of Newark, a wire-drawer, stole $3,200 worth of platinum from the vault of the refining firm where he worked. He snuck it out in his underwear (not all at once)(is that 80 ounces of platinum in your underwear, or are you just happy to see me?), then picked a fight with his boss so he’d be fired before the theft was noticed. He moved to Coatesville, PA, where, naturally, he used his riches to set up a sideshow. A private detective infiltrated the sideshow by taking a job as a clown and wormed his way into Wacrous’s confidence, convincing him that he was not only a clown but also a burglar. Wacrous then brought him into a scheme to shoot the night watchmen at the refining plant and blow up the vault (presumably after robbing it, but the article doesn’t say). At this point the private dick brought in the cops and Wacrous and two accomplices were arrested.

Today -100: July 20, 1911: Not this time, anyway

The American ambassador to Cuba assures that nation that the US has not the least intention of intervening militarily in it.

You say potato

The Indy reports that the CIA is training covert “special units” of Afghans. Traditionally, “special units” trained by the CIA are more accurately called “death squads.”

Wait, did I say humble? I mean fuck you.

The Murdochs testify to Parliament and everyone makes Burns & Smithers jokes. Synergy!

Everyone is also making jokes about Murdoch visiting Cameron by the back door. I made that joke a week ago, and I’m darned proud of it.

Rupert certainly played the “old man who couldn’t possibly be held responsible” angle, right down to the suit that some tailor was paid a fortune to make two sizes too large for him.

Murdoch’s opening statement: “I hope our contribution to Britain will one day also be recognised.” Now that would have been the moment to hit him with a pie.

Murdoch had already said it’s “the most humble day of my life,” so why did they arrest the guy who tried to feed him humble pie?

Quote of the Day, James Murdoch: “But it’s difficult to say that the company should have been told something if it’s not known that a thing was a known fact to be told.” So true.

Jimmy also said that he was “as surprised as you are” that the PI/hacker’s legal fees were paid by News International. Meaning that no one was the tiniest bit surprised.

Name of the Day: News of the World chief reporter Neville Thurlbeck.

Today -100: July 19, 1911: Have a suffrage sandwich?

NYC women’s suffragists are propagandizing through a suffrage lunch cart at Fordham Square, offering suffrage sandwiches and suffrage lemonade. It’s supposed to make people see the connection between women’s suffrage and the cost of living, or something.

Lyons, France’s city council plans a tax on bachelors, the money raised to be used for impoverished families with lots of children.

Judge Wilbur of Los Angeles rules that pedestrians need not look in three directions before crossing the street.

How I’ve missed you, ultra-Orthodox parking lot protesters

The summer of 2009 was marked by repeated protests by ultra-Orthodox Jews in Jerusalem against the opening of a municipal parking lot on the Sabbath. For this blog, that meant one thing: picture after hilarious picture. Well, they’re back, baby!

Today -100: July 18, 1911: Of population and rattlesnakes, campaign spending, and insects

The center of population for the United States, according to the 1910 census, was just outside Unionville, Indiana, having moved 31 miles west since 1900. By the 2010 census it had moved further west to Plato, Missouri. I can’t be bothered to figure the distance between Unionville and Plato, but Google Maps says it would take 7 hours and 22 minutes to drive it.

(Update: an Indiana University professor located the 1911 center of population precisely. There was nothing there but a rattlesnake. Which he killed.)

The Senate passes a campaign finance bill, providing for complete publicity of contributions and a spending limit of 10 per voter and $10,000 for Senate (senators were still elected by state legislatures, but there were non-binding primaries in many states) and $5,000 for the House.

Headline and Wuss of the Day -100: “Insect Bite Halts Wedding.” The bite in question being on the knee of the Episcopal bishop who was supposed to officiate. Evidently he’s been incapacitated by this bite for weeks.

Heat

Just one comment about Arizona State Senator Lori Klein pointing a loaded gun at a reporter: someone who refers to walking around with a lethal firearm as “packing heat” should on no account be allowed to do so.

Today -100: July 17, 1911: Of socialists, exciting bombs, and hair-raising films

Socialists are now in charge of the city government of Berkeley. I know! In large part through the efforts of young radicals at the university. I know! However, the elected socialists have been fighting amongst themselves – I know! – over the distribution of patronage positions. (Update: the LA Times of 7/10/11 says that new Socialist Mayor Stitt Wilson is refusing to give his party leaders an undated resignation to be used at their convenience, so they are already threatening to recall him.)

Headline of the Day -100: “Bombs Excite Pasadena.” I should think. Someone left a couple of bombs in a basket in front of the home of a retired dental-instrument manufacturer.

A movie actor, Albert Brighton (not listed in IMDB), drowned last week while filming a movie. There are already ads for the film: “Film actor’s sensational fight for life. Hair-raising act shown in detail before and during the fatal plunge, in which Al Brighton lost his life to make drowning scene realistic. A marvelous picture film, containing 41 scenes, 1,000 feet of film, and in which 100 actors are employed. The noted picture player plunges to his death while hundreds applaud his death struggles, appreciating, as they thought, his usual great efforts to make a scene real. Order now.” Hair-raising may not be the best choice of words: one of the men trying to save Brighton grabbed him by the hair, which, being a toupee, came off. He did not surface again.

Today -100: July 16, 1911: Of false hair, French divorce, goats, and disgusted burglars

Headline of the Day -100: “Wrestles With False Hair.” Part of an endless series of stories since the passage of the Payne-Aldrich Tariff in 1909 in which the Treasury categorizes various imported products to determine the tariff to be paid on them. In this case, the law specifies that “drawn” hair is subject to a 20% duty while “raw” hair may be imported free, so the Treasury is busy determining which is which. “One section of the Treasury offices looks like an Indian camp after the visit of a scalping party.”

An article about the income tax amendment mentions parenthetically that of 15 state legislatures which have yet to vote on it, 9 are out of session until 1913.

A couple of French dukes sue because Louis XV gave their ancestor rights to a box at the Opéra Comique with a room behind it, a separate staircase and a private entrance, but since the reconstruction of the opera house in 1887, they’ve had only the box. The court (which evidently hasn’t heard of the abolition of aristocratic privileges during the French Revolution) awards them $2,000 in damages, but won’t order that the building’s entire facade be rebuilt to accommodate them.

More upper-upper-class French people news: with divorce rising (and fewer people shunning divorced women from polite society) but with French divorce proceedings pretty secretive, the question has arisen of whether and how one should announce one’s divorce in the pre-Facebook age. If you send out divorce cards, do you say “Monsieur and Madame X regret to announce,” when you obviously regrette rien, or “Monsieur and Madame X have the pleasure of announcing,” which some find frivolous? “Monsieur and Madame X have the honor”? The younger set dislike “The court has declared a divorce between Monsieur and Madame X” because it’s legalistic instead of sentimental. And what about the recipient: do you send congratulations or condolences?

Candidates to join the Elks will no longer have to ride the goat. That’s a euphemism for... oh, wait, for riding a goat.

Politically Correct Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “YELLOW PERIL IS IMMINENT.; FLOOD OF CHINESE MARCHING ON LOS ANGELES; Plague-stricken Contrabands Are Crossing the Line, and Four Hundred Waiting at Ensenada.”

Headline of the Day -100: “Burglar Caught, Disgusted.” Said the burglar, as he was led by police out of the home of an electrical engineer who had choked him into submission, “Richmond Hill is the worst place I ever saw. If I robbed every house in the place I wouldn’t get more than 25 cents.” In burglary as in real estate, it’s location location location.

Obama press conference: It is hard to do a big package

Hillary Clinton announces in Istanbul that the US now recognizes the Libyan Transitional National Council “as the legitimate governing authority for Libya... In contrast, the United States views the Qadhafi regime as no longer having legitimate authority in Libya.” Still no definition of the process by which legitimacy is conferred or withdrawn, despite the fact that US foreign policy seems to be based on our ability to discern and measure the magical property of legitimacy without having to resort to anything as old-fashioned as an election. We shall be handing over billions of dollars of assets belonging to the regime which no longer has legitimate authority and handing it to the one that has acquired it.

She added that Syrian President Asad “has lost his legitimacy in the eyes of his people because of the brutality of their crackdown”.

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Obama press conferences are like buses: you wait forever and then three arrive right behind each other. Today, another.

WHAT WE HAVE A CHANCE TO DO: “We have a chance to stabilize America’s finances for a decade, for 15 years, or 20 years, if we’re wiling to seize the moment.” Because nothing creates stability like giving in to Republican demands.


WHAT HE IS WILLING TO DO: “And I have already said I am willing to take down domestic spending to the lowest percentage of our overall economy since Dwight Eisenhower.”

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: “Now, let me acknowledge what everybody understands: It is hard to do a big package.”

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: “So I am still pushing for us to achieve a big deal.”

He spent a bit of time explaining that polls, including Republican polls, show that the American people, including Republicans, want a deficit package to include tax increases (or “revenues,” as Obama calls them) in a “balanced approach.” Then he says, “And I’ve already taken some heat from my party for being willing to compromise. My expectation and hope is, is that everybody, in the coming days, is going to be willing to compromise.” (Really, that’s your expectation? Have you met Eric Cantor?) So why is the only heat he’s talking about the heat coming from “my party”?

We don’t need a balanced budget amendment: “what we need to do is to do our jobs.”

OBAMA HAS A VERY COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP WITH LAYER CAKES: “I think about this like a layer cake. You can do the bare minimum and then you can make some progressively harder decisions to solve the problem more and more.”


On Eric Cantor’s snit-fest, but without mentioning Cantor by name: “I think this notion that things got ugly is just not true. ... The American people are not interested in the reality TV aspects of who said what and did somebody’s feelings get hurt. They’re interested in solving the budget problem and the deficit and the debt.” Has he ever met the American people?

AIN’T IT THE TRUTH: “The bottom line is that this is not an issue of salesmanship to the American people; the American people are sold. The American people are sold.” And the Chinese have the receipt.

WE? YOU DON’T SEEM TO HAVE ANY TROUBLE FUCKING OVER THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR YOU: “We simply need to make these tough choices and be willing to take on our bases.” In fact, he can’t even remember which rhetorical flourishes belong to which parties, and a minute later comes out against “job-killing tax cuts.”


PHEW: “Contrary to what some folks say, we’re not Greece, we’re not Portugal.”

DARE TO DREAM: “With respect to Senator McConnell’s plan, as I said, I think it is a -- it is constructive to say that if Washington operates as usual and can’t get anything done, let’s at least avert Armageddon.”

AND THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR ME CAN EAT A BAG OF DICKS: “The proposal that I was discussing with Speaker Boehner fell squarely in line with what most Republican voters think we should do.”

I NEVER READ MY REVIEWS: “I generally don’t watch what is said about me on cable. I generally don’t read what’s said about me, even in The Hill.” Wouldn’t it be funny if he really had no idea what his enemies are saying about him, and only found about it after he retired?

MOSTLY, IT INVOLVES GETTING RID OF ALL THAT PAPER: “I’ve got reams of paper and printouts and spreadsheets on my desk, and so we know how we can create a package that solves the deficits and debt for a significant period of time.”

WHAT’S OBAMA’S DEFINITION OF “PROGRESSIVE,” ANYWAY? “And so that’s where I’d have a selling job, Chuck, is trying to sell some of our party that if you are a progressive, you should be concerned about debt and deficit just as much as if you’re a conservative.” No, no you shouldn’t be. (Also, of course, conservatives are not really concerned about debt and the deficit.)

“And the reason is because if the only thing we’re talking about over the next year, two years, five years, is debt and deficits, then it’s very hard to start talking about how do we make investments in community colleges so that our kids are trained, how do we actually rebuild $2 trillion worth of crumbling infrastructure.” You know what else would stop that being the only thing we’re talking about over the next year, 2 years, 5 years? If the president of the United States talked about something else. “If you care about making investments in our kids and making investments in our infrastructure and making investments in basic research, then you should want our fiscal house in order, so that every time we propose a new initiative somebody doesn’t just throw up their hands and say, ‘Ah, more big spending, more government.’” Yes, that would totally stop somebody doing that.