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Gaza settlers call on protesters trying to obstruct the pull-out to bring their children. “[W]e will reach our destination by use of our bodies and with our children.” Charming.
Via Josh Marshall, so maybe you’ve all read this already, this hilarious career-killing headline from the Cleveland Plain Dealer: “[Rep. Steve] LaTourette Attributes Flip-flop on CAFTA to Tariff No One Pays.”
Bush met at the ranch with the DOD “team” and “visited” with the State Dept “team,” and issued a statement replete with every lame cliché we’ve heard about Iraq. And let me just say here how annoyed I’m getting by Bush starting his sentences with “And” (“And we are a nation at war”) or with “In other words”. Really really annoyed. Here’s a two-fer: “And they kill indiscriminately. In other words, they don’t care who they kill.”
Evidently we have a strategy to succeed in Iraq. It consists of two parts. 1) “As Iraqis stand up, we will stand down.” 2) “The second part of our strategy is to help freedom prevail in Iraq.” A strategy is supposed to be a, you know, plan, not a bumper sticker.
“They kill because they are trying to shake our will,” he says. “They’re trying to drive free nations out of parts of the world,” he says. No, they’re not, they’re trying to drive our militaries out.
As for the possibility of reducing the number of American troops, “I think it’s kind of what we call speculation.”
Does anyone know which reporter is “Deb,” who asked Bush about the Iranian president’s involvement in the 1979 hostage crisis, a long-discredited smear?
This, I suppose, is his answer to Cindy Sheehan:
“I also know there’s a lot of folks here in the United States that are, you know, wondering about troop withdrawals. They’re concerned about the violence and the death. They hear the stories about a loved one being lost to combat. And, you know, I grieve for every death. It breaks my heart to think about a family weeping over the loss of a loved one. I understand the anguish that some feel about the death that takes place.”
Prick.
He does admit that Sheehan “has a right to her position.” Schmuck. The reporter didn’t ask when he planned to meet with her.
He also says, “And I know it’s tough and I know it’s hard work,” and then goes back to his vacation. Asshole.
More pictures to caption. I’ve only captioned two, crudely, leaving plenty of scope for you, my discerning readers. In comments, please, and specify pics 1,2,3,4 or 5.
Rummy: “If I don’t look at her, maybe she won’t notice my erection.”
Condi: “If I don’t look at him....”
Condi steps eagerly forward to help George go wee wee.
The WaPo quotes Army Brig. Gen. Karl Horst, the deputy commander of the 3rd Infantry Division: “If you look at the past few months, insurgents have not been able to sustain attacks, but they tend to surge every four weeks or so. We are right in the middle of one of those periods and predicted this would come.” A rather dismissive tone coming from someone who’s just lost a fair number of soldiers in his command. “Tends to surge every four weeks”; he makes it sound like a phenomenon of nature, a weather pattern or PMS. And, oo, they’re not able to sustain attacks, he says so belittlingly. Well, no, they’re not trying to, they’re fighting a guerilla war. What sort of war are you fighting, Gen. Horst?
Also from the Post: “Thrown on the defensive by recent revelations about Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts Jr.’s legal work, White House aides are delaying the release of tens of thousands of documents from the Reagan administration to give themselves time to find any new surprises before they are turned into political ammunition by Democrats.” Yes, first things first. By all means let’s put the needs of the spin doctors ahead of those of the senators performing their constitutionally mandated duty to advise and consent. In fact, are the spin doctors, pardon me, “White House lawyers,” who the Post says “have been dispatched to the Reagan library in Simi Valley, Calif., where they are combing through documents that have not been released,” performing any legitimate governmental function at all? Why should the taxpayers be paying for this? If the Bushies want to run this like an election campaign, let them get their corporate buddies to foot the bill.
Rummy Rumsfeld, as usual, strikes the perfect note of Jeffersonian idealism: “Indeed, [Iraq’s] new constitution -- a piece of paper -- could well turn out to be one of the most powerful weapons to be deployed against the terrorists.” Sure, we all know how much paper cuts can hurt.
The DOD website also bring us the results of an Iraqi poll, coming from “Defense Department officials speaking on background.” That’s right, the Pentagon website features leaks from Pentagon officials. The poll is spun as showing the Iraqi people opposing terrorist attacks, although the reason it wasn’t officially released might be that it shows 40% support for attacking Americans.
The Swedish police have trained a dog (named Xena) to sniff out semen at crime scenes. Nope, can’t think of a single comment about that one, no sirree.
And here’s George Bush with his “economic team.” Never trust people who look that uncomfortable when ordered to dress casual.
“Where do I put my hands?” they all wonder.
The Blair government is planning to create a “list of unacceptable behaviours” for which foreigners may be deported. The government will create “a full database of individuals around the world who have demonstrated the relevant behaviours”. Behaviors include giving speeches, running websites, or using a position of responsibility to “express what the Government considers to be extreme views that are in conflict with the UK’s culture of tolerance”. There must be a definition of “tolerance” with which I am unacquainted, one that allows for lists of unacceptable behaviors and unacceptable people. Indeed, one definition of tolerate in my computer dictionary is: “to be capable of continued exposure to (a drug, toxin, etc.) without adverse reaction.” Blair’s proposals surely count as an adverse reaction.
He also wants to create secret anti-terrorism courts to hold people for up to three months without charge, trial or a defense being heard. He must not have heard about the UK’s culture of tolerance. Sez George Monbiot (writing about calls for patriotism), “As usual, we are being asked to do the job of the terrorists, by making this country ugly on their behalf.”
One proposal to foster integration of immigrants is to “rebrand” them (possibly with actual brands) in the American hyphenate manner: calling them Asian-British or Indian-British, for example, instead of “Paki bastards” or “wogs” or “fuzzy-wuzzies” or “lesser breeds without the law” or whatever they call them now.
OK, now they’re just making up excuses. AP headline: “Sandstorm Halts Work on Iraqi Constitution.”
Japanese PM Koizumi, the guy with the hair, is calling snap elections on the burning issue of post office privatization. Honestly, not making that up.
In case you haven’t noticed, it’s not just abortion rights, but actual birth control that is under attack. The Wisconsin legislature has banned the University of Wisc. from prescribing or distributing contraceptives. (via You Will Anyway).
And the Justice Dept has filed a brief at the Supreme Court in support of a New Hampshire parental-notification law that didn’t provide an exemption for medical emergencies affecting health.
Bush visited the Sandia National Labs today, to celebrate the labs’ role in blasting the shit out of Hiroshima and Nagasaki 60 years ago this week.
OK, that’s not how he put it, but why else go there, of all the places he could go, on this of all weeks? Well, ostensibly he went to sign the Godawful Energy Policy Act of 2005, so they were actually spinning the Labs’s solar research, because the energy bill was all about the solar. As he signed it, he said, “The Energy Policy Act of 2005 is going to help every American who drives to work, every family that pays a power bill, and every small business owner hoping to expand.” Assuming that small business is Exxon-Mobil. And you’ll notice how he ignores Americans who get to work by other means than the automobile. Later in the speech he mentions tax credits for buying more efficient cars and more tax credits for new refineries, hydrogen-powered cars, and of course ethanol, and talks at length about the dangers of dependence on foreign oil, but not a word about public transportation. Or walking to work, or bicycles. He loves his mountain bike, even if he keeps falling off it, but never considers the possibility of bicycles being used for transportation rather than recreation.
He goes on, “This bill launches an energy strategy for the 21st century, and I’ve really been looking forward to signing it.” Because if he spells his name right, Uncle Dick gives him a lollipop. “The bill recognizes... that we’ve got to use technology to be the world’s leader in energy conservation.” There’s a flaw in there somewhere...
Now on to the caption contest portion of our program, with pictures from today’s outing to Sandia. Specify pics 1,2 or 3.
Netanyahu resigns as Israeli finance minister over the Gaza pull-out. Evidently he just found out about it.
With the British government making unsubtle leaks to the press about prosecuting Muslim preachers for treason, and with Blair announcing the banning of two Muslim groups, in all cases for making statements supportive of terrorism rather than for any actual involvement in terrorism, British Muslims are demanding that if those organizations are to be banned, the racist British National Party and the National Front should be as well. They certainly meet the “preaching hatred” standard, as would Ian Paisley, homophobes, certain sexists, and oh for fuck’s sake let’s just ban everyone now. Even during World War II, the step of banning the British Union of Fascists and arresting its leaders wasn’t taken until Britain faced German invasion and occupation in the spring of 1940.
In an interview with Time, Condi suggests accentuating the positive: “It’s a lot easier to see the violence and suicide bombing than to see the rather quiet political progress that’s going on in parallel”. Someone needs to teach her the difference between visual and auditory. Personally I’ve been trying to smell the quiet political progress, without much success. I’d prefer not to try to taste the quiet political progress, because who knows where it’s been, although Condi assures us that it tastes like chicken. She also says the insurgents are “losing steam,” although she does not say which sense is required to detect this.
Duncan Hunter, the idiot who is chair of the House Armed Services Committee, is preparing the way for declaring victory and going home by defining success downwards even as he shows he is not cut out to be realtor: “There are always going to be insurgents in Iraq ... and there’s always going to be bombs going off and that’s the nature of that neighborhood.” Makes it sound like crabgrass.
The American ambassador to Iraq has been “warning” Shiites about not trying to undermine the rights of women (an article on that here) and minorities in the draft constitution. So what exactly is the relationship between the US and that process? Some clarity is called for. Do we consider ourselves to have a veto? If the answer to that is yes, then we are treating the supposedly sovereign Iraqis in a paternalistic and demeaning manner which will remove any legitimacy from the constitution. If no, we are neglecting the duties we accepted when we decided to occupy another country, and our 130,000 troops will be in the position of protecting by force of arms this stripping away of human rights. Yup, it’s a no-win situation, but one that’s inherent in the occupation of another country.
Viewed from the outside, the Iraqis seem to be fighting mostly over words rather than details. Will Islam be “the main source” of Iraqi law or “a main source.” Will Arabic be the only “official language,” whatever that means, or will Kurdish be a second official language. Will the state be called a “federal” one.
Speaking of fights over words, James Dobson this week compared stem-cell research to the ouvre of Nazi concentration-camp doctors, to a certain amount of outcry, but I want to point to on another word he used to characterize that research, utilitarian, which I’ve noticed beginning to crop up in this argument as a term of abuse. Because the last thing you’d want in medical research is utilitarianism. You know, it’s late and I don’t feel like coming up with a clever way to segue to a mention of Jeremy Bentham directing that after his death [1832] he be publicly dissected for the edification of the general public and his body be kept on display, which it still is to this day. Dammit, if I feel like inserting a picture of the very late Jeremy Bentham, that’s just what I’m gonna do.
Ian Paisley, annoyed at the IRA ceasefire and the possibility of peace and local government in Northern Ireland is, astonishingly, threatening to boycott negotiations. “The majority of people in Northern Ireland are very angry,” he says, in what may be the greatest under-statement of all time.
In its continuing efforts to promote democracy and liberty throughout the world, the US is sending Haiti the equipment it needs for successful elections: guns and tear gas.
The WaPo has a refreshingly cynical story about the recent spate of junkets to Guantanamo, in which congresscritters spend about five minutes looking around without being allowed anywhere near the worst parts of the facility and without talking to one single prisoner. No one serious about investigating conditions would be satisfied with that, so one can only assume that those who make the journey intend only to be able to say that they’ve been there before issuing their whitewashes. Here’s a nice sentence from the Post: “Rep. Jon Porter (R-Nev.), part of Monday’s tour, said of the inmates he had seen from a distance: ‘Many of them are happy to be there.’”
Follow-up: last week I mentioned that a jury in Virginia was empaneled solely to decide whether Daryl Atkins had a high enough IQ that he could be executed. Although the defense showed that Atkins had been kicked off his school football team because he was too... stupid... to play... football, the jury decided he was smart enough, or possibly dark-skinned enough, to kill (there were no blacks on the jury, you know how hard it is to find a black person in Virginia).
There were evidently subtle warning signs about that Israeli soldier, the fucking loon who the Israeli army decided to give a gun and show how to use it, who then shot up a bus full of Palestinians yesterday. For example (from Ha’aretz), this is his high school yearbook picture.
And his family actually repeatedly asked the military to take his gun away before he did something stupid (that would be the M16 he deserted with six weeks before the attack).
India sets a target of ending public defecation by 2010.
Tony Blair gave a little speech today on the subject of terrorism. He’s against it. “By and large,” he said, “Britain knows it is a tolerant and good-natured nation, is rather proud of it and has responded to this terrorism with tolerance and good nature in a way that has won the admiration of people and nations the world over.” The rest of the speech was a wish list of powers he wanted to use against terrorism, including a statute to abolish tolerance and good nature.
He will start deporting foreigners who glorify, justify or validate the work of terrorists, or who visit websites or book shops or join organizations which the PM doesn’t like (there will be a little list drawn up). He will trust in the assurances of the countries to which he deports people that they won’t be tortured or ill-treated too terribly much.
Blair wants the power to close mosques. He insists that it is in fact the Muslim community itself that has asked that he “weed out extremism” from amongst them, so that’s all right then. He wants to detain people without trial for long periods.
Since 9/11, Blair has always had a bit of victimization envy. He desperately wanted for Britain to be important enough on the world stage to be attacked, for it too to be hated for its freedom. He didn’t precisely wish for the bombings, but they do represent a kind of validation for him, and an opportunity to put on his determined face and make just such a speech as he did today. After 7/7, everything is different, he says, which sounds awfully familiar. No one is calling it “scaremongering” any more, he says. Sure they are. Well, I am. It’s just more of a seller’s market now.
CNN suspends Bob Novak for using a naughty word (bullshit) on-air (video here). A bit like Al Capone going to jail for tax evasion, but we’ll take it.
This abruptly ended a scintillating discussion of Katherine Harris’s claim that newspapers photo-shopped her picture to make her look even uglier and more clownlike. Novak said that newspapers had done the same thing to him, whereupon Carville asked him to name one and he couldn’t. You can see why he got pissed off; reactionaries so hate being asked to document their lies.
The Poor Man writes well (and at length – read it when you’ve got some time) about the increasingly nebulous justifications for the Iraq war.
I can’t tell from the transcript of Bush’s press conference with Colombian Warlord Uribe whether a reporter’s question about Venezuela was ever answered (the White House’s webmaster, like the State Dept’s, no speakee furren lingos) (and neither does George Bush, but he tried anyway; asked what they would be eating, he replied “carne”), but yesterday Nicholas Burns of the State Dept accused Venezuela of supplying weapons to the Farc guerillas in Colombia, citing as evidence not captured weapons, not satellite footage, but the mere fact that Venezuela has been purchasing guns. As I said, reactionaries don’t like being asked to document their lies, but then it doesn’t happen that often: Burns’ has been allowed to stand so far. Nice to see someone taking the baton from Roger Noriega.
Sony, which used quotes from a non-existent critic in its ads for several movies, has been ordered to refund $5 to anyone who paid to see Vertical Limit, A Knight’s Tale, The Animal, Hollow Man or The Patriot. Variety headline: “Sony in Fix over Fake Crix.”
Achmad Chalabi’s head of public relations is shot to death, which to my mind speaks very poorly about his abilities in the public relations field. Just saying.
That AP story also has this bit of, I’m assuming, parody:
Seeking to reassure the public, Iraq’s prime minister announced a new plan for combating insurgents, declaring “we are in a state of war.”
Prime Minister Ibrahim Al-Jaafari gave few details of the plan but said it was divided into 12 points and included steps to improve intelligence, protect infrastructure and prevent foreign fighters from infiltrating the country.
I’m reassured just knowing that his plan is divided into 12 points, aren’t you? I mean, that’s a lot of points. And that Iraq is in a state of war, that’s awfully reassuring as well.
Speaking of state of war, we’re evidently back to The War Against Terror (TWAT), because Chimpy couldn’t memorize Global Struggle Against Violent Extremists.
Astonishingly, Haitians are not registering to vote. Only one-fifth have so far, and the deadline is next week. The International Crisis Group is blaming poor security, as opposed to the fact that the last democratically elected president was bundled onto a plane by American Marines, more or less at gun point, and sent into exile. Makes the whole voting thing seem kinda pointless.
George Lakoff writes about the Bushies’ rebranding of The War Against Terror (TWAT) into the Global Struggle Against Violet Violent Extremism (G-SAVE). He thinks the timing of the change was because the London bombings made nonsense of the claim that the war in Iraq had anything to do with preventing terrorism. One could equally claim that, since the purpose of the war frame was to consolidate unaccountable power in the hands of the president, the permanent renewal of the Patriot Act meant that TWAT’s true mission has been accomplished. Either way, Lakoff is right that the awkwardness of the new term is deliberate:
The new phrase is less comprehensible, long, complicated. You almost have to memorize it: ‘global struggle against ...what was that exact wording again? Oh yeah, ‘violent extremism.’ It doesn’t sound like poetry, but in a perverse way it is. It says the administration’s policy is like the words for it: hard to comprehend, long, complicated. The new phrase is not memorable, and that’s the point.
In fact, according to Rumsfeld, we’re pretty much bystanders: “This is not a war between the United States and the Muslim faith or between Iraq and the Muslim faith. It is a struggle within the Muslim faith.” Cool, so why are we occupying Iraq again?
Oscar Wilde, updated.
We return to that continual source of amusement, the London Review of Books personals:
My only academic achievement was contaminating the water supply in class 2C by sneezing over the beaker tray. It caused the biggest outbreak of conjunctivitis ever known at Sutton Primary. I wasn’t sorry then and I’m not sorry now. Bitter PR exec. (F, 34). WLTM man to 40 who enjoys living on the edge (of Putney). Box no. 15/04
Suggest to me something obscure. F,37 Clapham. Box no. 15/06
‘All he needs are some psychiatric treatments to reduce the strength and regularity of his biorhythmic brain explosion episodes. For one so young, his powers of telekinesis are far beyond that of any project we’ve developed so far. His brain has the power to rule the world. It may cause you some problems at home, but the benefits of the bionic mind far outweigh the pitfalls.’ My school report, 1979 (Porton Down Preparatory School). So much promise then, look at me now. Ex-superhero, now librarian (M, 31) seeks solvent woman to 35 for scrabble, real ale, and spontaneous morphing. Wilts. Box no. 15/07
Bellini(s) before Bellotto? Awfully attractive editor (F, 50) seeks cure for alliterative addiction. artywoman@lycos.com
Want to meet you, but I can give no information. katy@finecellwork.co.uk
[More of my LRB favorites here.]
The revolution will not only be televised, but trademarked: Viktor Yushchenko’s 19-year old son has registered all the logos of Ukraine’s “Orange Revolution.” Andriy Yushchenko has a BMW and a platinum cell phone, so the revolution was well worth it.
The US never has political fights over the important issues, like spelling. Not so the Germans. In my favorite sentence from any news story today, the London Times reports “The states of Bavaria and North Rhine Westphalia are refusing to implement the reform until the hyphen issue has been resolved.”
(Update): although there is this sentence, in the WaPo: “As a bystander showed off a cardboard box containing the bomber’s body parts, the shopkeeper asked: ‘When are we going to have quiet again and live like normal people?’”
That’s in Iraq, if you had to ask.
Bush is breaking Reagan’s record for longest presidential vacation (not counting the 80 days James Garfield spent lollygagging around after he was shot) and for most time spent on vacation. Bush says he needs the time to clear his mind, which may be the straightest straight line ever, and “I’ll also be kind of making sure my Texas roots run deep.”
Now I can’t get the image of him buried up to his waist out of my head. Horseshoes, anyone?
Since he doesn’t seem to be very busy, maybe they could get him to solve the hyphen issue.
Congrats to Eli Stephens on two years of Left I on the News (or 20 months since I discovered it, which is surely the more important milestone).
There’s something, actually several things, intrinsically amusing about the headline: “Grenades Thrown at Cockfight.”
Another headline: “King Fahd is Laid to Rest.” He will be buried in a giant vat of crude oil, as is the custom.
43% of people who have left the House or Senate since 1998 are now registered lobbyists.
Britain is asking the US to torture its ghost detainees to extract intelligence about the London bombers.
George Monbiot article on why the American and British plans to build usable tactical nuclear weapons and American treatment of new nuclear nations creates an incentive for nuclear proliferation.
Many Texas school districts are offering Bible study as, so far, an elective. The program, produced by the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools (motto: “It’s Coming Back”), is anti-intellectual horseshit, as you’d expect (did you know that NASA has proven that the sun did stop in the sky, just like it said in the Bible?). Still, you have to wonder about this WaPo headline: “Bible Course Called Biased, Error-Filled.” Really, a course on the bible is biased and filled with errors? What else was it supposed to be filled with?
The US is still pretending that the reason it was told to get its troops the hell out of Uzbekistan was that it bravely stood up for human rights, because it was just the right thing to do, dammit, no matter what the consequences. But at the same time it’s pretending this, it’s very careful not actually to stand up for human rights, in case Uzbekistan changes its mind about the base. This from the DOD website: “The relationship between the United States and Uzbekistan has grown tense since protests in May in the Uzbek province of Andijan turned bloody. The Uzbeks said about 200 people were killed in the protests. The government maintains those killed were terrorists.” Way to stand up for human rights.
Bush recess-appoints John Bolton. I had already coined the phrase that Congressional D’s should, but won’t, use about this, “John Bolton speaks for the president, he does not speak for the United States,” when I found that Bush had beaten me to it, saying “He will speak for me on critical issues facing the international community,” thus demonstrating once again that Bush does not know the difference between a president and a king. L’état, c’est W.
The BBC says Bush accused D’s of forcing him to do this by their “shameful delaying tactics.” This from a man truly without shame. I mean, look at that tie.
Bush passed his medical checkup. His doctors say he is “fit for duty.” I’d like a second opinion.
James Wolfensohn, former head of the World Bank, has some helpful decorating advice for the Palestinians: use the rubble left after the Gaza settlements are demolished. Very DIY. I’m picturing Fred Flintstone’s house.
For a long time the Bush administration has bent over backwards to avoid any criticism of the dissident-boiling Karimov regime in Uzbekistan (see my many posts on the subject in May of this year), so it’s a little funny to read the claim that the US has been evicted from its Uzbek air base because of a rather modest call for an international inquiry into the May massacres, an inquiry it knows will never happen, and for asking Kyrgyzstan not to return some Uzbeks to certain death. And by funny, I mean unbelievable. Craig Murray, the former British ambassador to Uzbekistan, explains that the whole thing is actually about... wait for it... oil. Karimov has simply opted for the Russians rather than Americans to develop his oil and gas resources. Murray adds, “The US has managed to hand the dictator Karimov the propaganda coup of kicking out the world’s greatest power. ... If they had any dignity they would have jumped before they were pushed.”
The British government, by the way, which tried repeatedly to silence Murray while he was ambassador, including by claiming that he was an adulterer and a drunk, is now trying to block publication of a book he has written about the US and Britain’s implication in torture.
Pakistani dictator Musharraf, tired of being accused (correctly) of tolerating madrasas and training camps that churn out terrorists for export to the rest of the world, including two of the London bombers, has hit back at Britain, and in a weird, douchebaggy way he has a point:
“They should have been doing what they have been demanding of us to do — to ban extremist groups like they asked us to do here in Pakistan and which I have done.”
Of course I’m not agreeing that the West needs to do any such thing, but he is right about the hypocrisy exhibited by the US, Britain etc when they go beyond the legitimate demand that Muslim countries arrest criminals, and insist as well that Pakistan and Saudi Arabia crack down on preaching, close schools, and ban political organizations (yes, legitimate political activity can be difficult to disentangle from the other kind in those non-democracies, but a good rule of thumb is that if the activity would be protected by the First Amendment in this country, we shouldn’t ask for it to be punished elsewhere), that Palestine censor its media to eliminate “incitement” and “provocation,” and that someone, anyone, just shut Al Jazeera the fuck down already.
Rather like the indignation Russia expressed to the United States after Nightline broadcast an interview with Chechen rebel/terrorist (but he really wants to direct) Shamil Basayev. Funny, you never hear Vladimir Putin say of the Chechens, “They hate us for our freedom.”
Something’s up with the Bushies and Latin American policy, but I don’t know what. Roger Noriega, Assistant Secretary of State for Pissing All over Latin America Because It’s Ours Goddammit, has abruptly resigned from the government for reasons that are unclear but seem to have to do with the appointment of Caleb McCarry as “Cuba Transition Coordinator.” Worth keeping an eye on.
Rummy: “If I don’t look at her, maybe she won’t notice my erection.”
Condi steps eagerly forward to help George go wee wee.
