I drew a line in my mind

A NYT editorial Wednesday described one aspect of the neglect of Walter Reed outpatients: “They have been swamped with confusing paperwork and forced to take responsibility for managing their own medical care.” If you’ve been paying attention to Bush’s recent speeches on health care reform, you know that that’s exactly what he has planned for all of us: “And our view is, is that in order to have -- to worry about health care costs, the more a consumer is involved, the more likely we’ll be able to deal with the increasing cost of health care.”

Newt Gingrich, in an interview with Focus on the Family’s James Dobson that I listened to so you don’t have to, says that his attacks on Bill Clinton for his adultery while he was committing adultery himself with a much younger House staff member was not hypocritical at all: “I drew a line in my mind that said, ‘Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept . . . perjury in your highest officials.’” What I like about that quote is how he thinks of himself as a hero, running the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and it’s that very hypocrisy that makes him such a hero.

Not much else of interest in the interview. He wants to abolish the 9th Circuit, fire all its judges, and appoint new ones. “This would be a perfectly reasonable court ... in France.”

He says that we know American liberty is totally based in religion because it says so on all the public buildings. There’s some religious inscription on the Washington Monument, the tallest building in DC, the first one hit by the dawn sun as the earth rotates. Dobson must not have been paying much attention, because I would have expected him to deny the heresy that the earth rotates.

Speaking of religious monuments, Bush will be visiting a Mayan one in Guatemala, which will have to be cleansed of bad spirits afterwards.

Actually, after January 20, 2009, we should probably have the entire US boiled. In holy water. Just to be sure.

Also, werewolves. Lots of werewolves.

Gen. David Petraeus calls those who attacked Shiite pilgrims “thugs with no soul” and says we must “control the demons responsible for the vicious sectarian violence of the past year - demons who have torn at the very fabric of Iraqi society.”

And my position is, it is important for people to be free

Snippets from yet more Bush interviews, with Univision and with Colombian tv.

“I think the worse thing that’s happened for the Cuban people on the island is the fact that they’re not free. And my position is, it is important for people to be free”.

About three Americans being held by the Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia: “My message is to the FARC, and that is to give up these hostages. You’re making it clear to the world the kind of people you are when you take innocent life and hold them hostage. And it’s very sad for the families here in America.” There’s that word again.

Speaking of it being important for people to be free, what about a pardon for Scooter? Well first, and again, he is – say it with me – saddened for Scooter: “I personally am sad. I’m sad for Mr. Libby and his family. There was a sense of sadness to hear the verdict read for me.” But he also said he’s going to pardon Scooter. Well, not precisely, because after all precision is not a trait associated with Chimpy’s use of the English language, but I think the word “until” is the giveaway here: “And so I’m pretty much going to stay out of it until the course -- the case has finally run its final -- the course it’s going to take.”

He’s pleased as punch that he’ll be met by protests wherever he goes: “I am proud to be going to a part of the world where people can demonstrate, where people can express their minds. It happens quite frequently when I travel around the world.”

He thinks it’s absolutely wonderful that governments he despise have recently been elected in Bolivia, Ecuador, Nicaragua etc: “first of all, I like the fact that the countries in our neighborhood are free and people get to decide who the governments -- who is in the government. I like that. I think it’s great. I would be worried if there are policies which ruin economies.” “To the extent that people feel like they can nationalize companies I think is a mistake.”

And what does he think about all those things Hugo Chavez says about him? “I’ve been in politics a long time; there’s a lot of name-calling in politics. I’ve always found the best thing to do is to do what you think is right and move beyond the name-calling.”

The trip really is to remind people that we care

Bush gave another pre-Latin-American-tour interview, with CNN En Español (funny, there isn’t a Fox En Español, is there?), in which he made it clear that what he really wants if for the citizens of those countries to thank him for his munificence. He said that American aid to Latin America has doubled under him, “and most of that aid is social justice money.” I’ll leave it to someone else to figure out how much of that increase actually went to Colombia, the largest recipient of US aid in the region, so that it’s right-wing-death-squad-associated government (in yesterday’s interview, Bush said that Uribe is doing a “fabulous” job) to fight rebels under the guise of fighting drug production. The problem is, according to His Chimpyness, “And yet, we don’t get much credit for it. And I want the taxpayers, I want the American people to get credit for their generosity in Central and South America.” He returned to that point several times: “The trip really is to remind people that we care.” “And it’s in our interest that we promote those ties, and we promote -- and I remind people about the generosity of our country.”

He said about one American woman’s time with our neighbors to the south, “her example is what America is all about.” That woman, of course, is Jenna Bush. She’s writing a book, you know. Evidently, Jenna is “deeply concerned about alienationists in our world.” I have no idea what that means. Anyone?

On other matters, Bush was asked about Scooter Libby (at first I wrote “Bush was asked about Scooter,” and then went back and added “Libby” in the interests of clarity, like there are any number of Scooters he might be asked about. On the other hand, it’s possible that every third person in Skull and Bones was called Scooter). He said, “On a personal note, I was sad. I was sad for a man who had worked in my administration, and particularly sad for his family.” He must have been sad (past tense, you’ll notice): he used the word three times.

What doesn’t seem to make him sad is the treatment of wounded American service members. Asked what he would say to veterans screwed over at Walter Reed, he whittered on about the Dole-Shalala commission and how there are “fantastic doctors and nurses and healers” and so on, but he didn’t really seem to have anything he wanted to say to the soldiers – “I’m sorry we let you down” might have been nice. I’ve been reminded of a visit he made at the start of last year to Brooke Army Medical Center. My blog post on the visit showed him having a fine old time and joking about a scratch he had on his forehead from “combat with a cedar.” I didn’t know until later that he’d just been visiting amputees.

Why did he say he was going to Central and South America, again? Oh yes, “I bring a message of hope, a message that says we care about the human condition”.

His is an outsider’s perspective on that condition.

I would hope he would define my government as pro-freedom

When you (Americans, anyway) change the time on your computers, VCRs and what have you this weekend, remember to turn off any automatic Daylight Savings settings, or they’ll “spring forward” 3 weeks later.

Bush, in advance of his trip to Latin America, had a group interview yesterday with reporters from the region. He explained his purpose: “My trip is an opportunity to remind the folks in our neighborhood that the United States has a robust policy toward empowering individuals to realize their full potential.” Indeed, in his speech to the US Hispanic Chamber of Commerce the day before, “I outlined a vision of a nation that cares about the human condition.” Because so many of us actually are humans.

He repeated that tripe later: “My trip is to remind the people of Central and South America that we live in the same neighborhood and that the United States is committed to empowering individuals to realize their God-given potential.” Oh, I think they’re all too aware that they live in the same “neighborhood.”

“It is a reminder that the United States’ approach to the region is not a political approach, but it is a human approach.” Politics, as we all know, being inhuman. “It is one that emphasizes that human potential exists, and that the best programs are those that elevate the potential.”

HE HAS AN MBA FROM HARVARD, YOU KNOW: “The best way to alleviate poverty is for there to be prosperity.”

REALLY, AN MBA: “And a direct foreign investment -- that means somebody believing that the investment climate is worthy of investment...”

GEORGE? HARVARD’S ON THE PHONE. THEY WANT THEIR MBA BACK: “When I grew up in Texas, the border, la frontera, was like a third world on both sides of the border. And then in the early ‘90s, NAFTA was passed. But there wasn’t instant successes. It took a while for people to realize how the inevitable adjustments that will come when people start accessing market.”

IMPERIALISTS? NO IMPERIALISTS HERE. An Uruguayan reporter brought up President Vázquez’s comment about relations with the US that his is a “popular, democratic, anti-oligarchic and anti-imperialist government.” Bush, to whom this was news, responded: “As anti-imperialist? Fine, that’s -- I would hope he would define my government as pro-freedom.” “As to characterizations of the United States, I will remind him that we are a generous, compassionate nation that believes in peace.”

DO NOT FEAR THE AMERICAN MILITARY. THEY’RE VERY QUIET. “Our military -- people think of the United States military as war fighters, and they are when the Commander-in-Chief puts them in such a situation. But our military is building health clinics throughout Central America, for example, in a very quiet way.” Very quiet building? Could have used them when my next-door neighbors were building that new deck.

On the future of Cuba: “Vamos a ver, cuando -- how long he [Castro] stays on earth, that’s a decision that will be made by the Almighty.” Funny, three or four American presidents thought it was their decision. “We believe it ought to be up to the people, the long-suffering people of that island to decide their fate, not the fate -- not to be decided because somebody is somebody’s brother; the fate ought to be decided because that’s what the people want.” Yeah it would be terrible if “the fate” was decided because somebody was somebody’s brother, the governor of Florida, f’r instance.

No pictures of that interview, so below is one from his meeting with Bob Dole and Donna Shalala, who he’s appointed to investigate veterans’ and soldiers’ health care. Dole, who is 83 and doesn’t like a day over oh-dear-lord-shouldn’t-they-have-buried-him-by-now?,


will ensure that every wounded soldier will get Viagra and a pen. Shalala’s qualifications, according to Bush: “She lived after eight years in President Clinton’s administration, she knows what to look for, she knows the questions to ask.”

CAPTION CONTEST: what is Bush indicating with this gesture during his meeting with Dole and Shalala. For extra points, what is it that 8 years in the Clinton administration has taught Shalala to look for and to ask?

Saddened for Scooter

Cheney says, “I am very disappointed with the verdict. I am saddened for Scooter and his family.” Your mantra for today: “Saddened for Scooter. Saddened for Scooter. Saddened for Scooter. Saddened for Scooter.”

Bush spoke to the American Legion today. He praised himself for putting $86 billion for veterans in his budget: “this would amount to a 77 percent increase of the budget since I took office; it would be the highest level of support for our veterans in American history.” Er, you also created a whole lot more of them, many with expensive catastrophic injuries; I don’t really think you get to brag about that like it’s some kind of accomplishment.


He gave his standard pro-“surge” speech. He says it’s necessary because after the Samarra bombing, “the sectarian violence was getting out of hand.” Out of hand? Out of fucking hand??? Crabgrass is out of hand. The dog peeing on the carpet is out of hand. Jenna and Not-Jenna’s partying is out of hand.

Samarra, he says, was “designed to provoke retaliation... And the result was a tragic escalation of sectarian rage and reprisal.” In other words (dammit, now Bush has me doing the “in other words” thing), things got “out of hand” because Iraqis responding to terrorist provocation exactly the way the terrorists wanted them to. So, he goes on, we should escalate our military presence in Baghdad because it’s what the terrorists want us to do: “They’re not debating whether the war in Iraq is worth it. Hear the words of bin Laden, in a message to the American people just last year. He says of Iraq: ‘The war is for you or for us to win. If we win it, it means your defeat and disgrace forever. Nyaa nyaa.’”

I may have added the “nyaa nyaa.” Then again, I may not have.

He says of the non-binding resolution, “Members of Congress have every right to express their opinion. They have every right. They also have a responsibility to fund our war fighters.” War fighters? Also, you notice how he has “principles,” while members of Congress have “opinions”?

Bush has not yet said whether he too is saddened for Scooter.

(Update: He is indeed “saddened”. How sad.)

Bush speaks to trabajadores y campesinos

Bush spoke to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce today and was so excited that he interspersed his usual broken English with broken Spanish: “Thursday, Laura and I are going to leave on a trip that will take us to Brazil and Uruguay and Colombia, y Guatemala, y por fin, Mexico. ... My message to those trabajadores y campesinos is, you have a friend in the United States of America.”


He lectured the countries of the Western Hemisphere about what their governments need to do. They should not “serve only the rich and the well-connected.” They should be “transparent.” They should have no sense of irony about being instructed on these subjects by George W. Bush.


Further words of wisdom for our friends to the south: “Latin America needs capitalism for the campesino”. “Social justice means meeting basic needs.”

It’s a messy, dangerous world

Dick Cheney spoke to a conference of the Veterans of Foreign Wars today. It was the start of yet another series of speeches to bolster The War Against Terror (TWAT), and it must have annoyed him to be forced by events to have to devote several seconds to the issue of the treatment of wounded soldiers. Later in the day, he himself was treated for a blood clot contracted during long hours of sitting on airplanes in the service of his country. He was put on blood thinners. Or possibly that was a metaphor of some kind.


On reading the speech, I can report that the trend towards slightly greater realism some detected in Bush administration officials’ speeches after the release of the Iraq Study Group report has now completely reversed itself. There is no longer any hint that Iraq might be in a civil war or that there exist such creatures as Sunnis or Shiites. It’s back to terrorists and Al Qaida and “They hate us, they hate our country, they hate the liberties for which we stand. They want to destroy our way of life, so that freedom no longer has a home and defender in the world.” Because freedom is American, dammit. If it shows up in any other country, it’s just visiting. And on those visits, it so often seems to come down with deep venous thrombosis.


Cheney said he hopes that, unlike the vote on the non-binding resolution, when Congress votes on “emergency” funding for the war, sorry, “for the troops,” “I sincerely hope the discussion this time will be about winning in Iraq, not about posturing on Capitol Hill.”

He concluded, “It’s a messy, dangerous world, made better by the active, committed presence of the United States.” Messy and dangerous. He makes it sound like someone left their skates on the stairs again – and we’re looking at you, Iran!

After all, we’re in the business of dealing with the culture

Headline of the day, from the London Times: “Airstrikes ‘Could Provoke Iran.’” Ya think?

Okay, okay, seriously, a think tank argues that an attack on Iran’s nuclear facility won’t succeed, and that even if it did, Iran would still be able to cobble together a few nukes, like building a car from spare parts rather than building a car factory, and the attack would make it rather likely to do so. All of which is as self-evidently obvious as “air strikes could provoke Iran.”

There was an attack on an American convoy in Afghanistan with a vehicle packed with explosives, combined, the military says, with shooting from several directions in a “complex attack.” Alternately, the troops panicked after the explosion and started firing in several directions, then shot up every vehicle along the highway as they drove to safety, killing many civilians. Or alternately, did not panic, but deliberately shot up every civilian vehicle just to be on the safe side. Nor will they admit that all that shooting resulted in bullets actually hitting anyone. Says spokesmodel Major William Mitchell, “We certainly believe it’s possible that the incoming fire from the ambush was wholly or partly responsible for the civilian casualties.”

But really, what can we do if they won’t even cooperate in our war games? The US military plans to recreate Iraqi and Afghan villages for war games in, where else, Bavaria, and is trying to recruit Arab-speaking extras by placing ads implying they were being hiring for a film. Only four of the people who showed up didn’t leave upon being told the real purpose, which is for them to play natives 24 hours a day for three weeks while being constantly filmed. Said a spokesmodel for the US Army Joint Multinational Readiness Center, the amusingly named Reggie Bourgeois, “The more actual culture we can inject into the exercise the better it is for our soldiers. After all, we’re in the business of dealing with the culture.”

Out of this rubble will emerge a better tomorrow

I had just been getting to the point of writing a post asking what was going on about that Sunni woman who said she’d been gang-raped by Iraqi police. The story had disappeared, as Iraq stories often do these days when it is impossible for reporters to go out and cover them safely. Evidently the US, whose hospital examined her, still doesn’t feel obligated to say if that crime was committed or not, and Maliki is still denying it. Anyway, there was a follow-up of sorts yesterday when 14 (or 18) policemen were abducted and killed in retaliation.

George Bush was in Alabama and Georgia today, offering help to the victims of the tornados, and by help I mean prayers. “And this country is a prayerful country, there are a lot of people praying for you.” He added, “You can never heal a heart, but you can provide comfort, knowing that the federal government will provide help for those whose houses were destroyed, or automobiles were destroyed.” This country is a prayerful country, there are a lot of people praying for your automobiles.

There are also a lot of people praying to be able to provide comfort to 17-year old girls.



Speaking of prayers, here’s a sentence from one report: “‘A hundred kids got out of here alive,’ Bush said to the gathered press corps as he pointed to the Science Wing. ‘It’s a miracle.’” Yeah, it’s a miracle! Fuck you, science!

He told the people of Enterprise, Alabama, “that out of this rubble will emerge a better tomorrow, because that’s the commitment that I hear here in Enterprise. And the role of the government is going to help, to the extent that we can.”

At a certain point, he seems to have forgotten about the whole tornado thing and just started having a good time.



He’s talking to this woman’s boyfriend.

Then he found a toy to play with.


Almost as much fun as comforting 17-year old girls.

Clinton would have found a way to do both at once.

And by “do both at once” I meant play with the quad bike and comfort the 17-year old girls.

Could an imaginary man do that?

Congo-Kinshasa’s new Minister for Foreign Trade, Andre Kasongo Ilunga, has turned out not to actually exist. Each of the parties in the ruling coalition in the incoming government was asked to nominate two candidates for their allotted posts, and the prime minister would choose one. So Honorius Kisimba Ngoy, head of the Union Nationale des Fédéralistes du Congo (UNAFEC),

nominated himself and the fictional Mr. Ilunga, figuring that would ensure that he got the job because he 1) was more or less real, 2) had a cooler name. When Ilunga got the job instead, Kisimba presented a letter of resignation from him, and still won’t admit that there is no such person: “He wrote it himself. He signed it. Could an imaginary man do that?” Can’t fault the logic.

Kind of the safety of mediocrity

Bush went to a school in Indiana today, to push for “standards” and “accountability.” For other people, of course. And definitely not for a surprise episode of “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” Yes it’s time to renew the No Child Left Behind Act. He talked a lot about “measuring,” pretending that high-stakes testing is just a passive assessment. Bush said, “I know full well that to make sure a system doesn’t lapse into kind of the safety of mediocrity that you’ve got to measure.” Then he just sighed and whispered “the safety of mediocrity.” Dare to dream, George, dare to dream. “In life,” he went on, “if you lower the bar you get lousy results.” You know, I could say something sarcastic about George Bush coming out against lowering the bar, but that would be too easy, it would in fact just be lowering the bar for sarcasm.


He said, “Testing data has helped teachers tailor instruction. ... That’s why the act is called the No Child Left Behind Act. It doesn’t say ‘all children shouldn’t be left behind,’ it says, ‘no child.’” You just blew my mind.

He praised the school he was in for achieving the supreme pinnacle of success, an applause line during a presidential photo-op: “I appreciate so very much that this school has met state standards for progress under No Child Left Behind every year since 2002. Isn’t that interesting? (Applause.) Isn’t it interesting to be able to say that? You can’t say something that draws applause unless you measure.” Oh sure you can. Try this one: “Ice cream for everyone!”

Dick!

Dick Cheney spoke to the 34th annual Conservative Political Action Conference this evening. He didn’t say anything interesting, so I don’t have anything interesting to say about what he said, and running these amusing pictures of the Dickster (one of them taken by a clearly bored Reuters photographer trying to make him look like he’s wearing a huge American flag skirt) feels a little bit like skipping the vegetables and going straight to the dessert. Well all right, but just this once.

Reminding people that the federal government still knows you exist

As mentioned in my last post, Bush visited Katrina-hit regions today. “And so I’ve come back to New Orleans, Louisiana, to remind people that the federal government still knows you exist”. Knows, yes; cares, not so much. Bush held a photo op at Samuel J. Green Charter School as part of his campaign to exploit the destruction of New Orleans to push his agenda to privatize public schools. “I’m trying to lend my voice to herald this school,” he heralded. And he knows a lot about what makes a good school. “Those are the two things I was good at at school,” he said, “eating and playing.” Sure you were, George, sure you were.

AP caption to this picture: “President Bush, right, examines a plastic bottle terrarium as he visits a third grade class at the Samuel J. Green charter school in New Orleans, La., Thursday, March 1, 2007.” (Good thing they cleared up the confusion about whether President Bush was the middle-aged white guy or the little black boy.)

“No, Mr. President, it’s a ter-ra-ri-um. Try again.” “Tuhrrooriun.”

My most vivid recollection is the piles of rubble

Bush went to the areas hit by Hurricane Katrina today, six months after his last trip. “I intend to keep coming back so long as I’m the President,” he said, then threatened, “and perhaps after the presidency”. Yeah, after the presidency. Sure he will. Why are all the pictures I’m seeing of Bush with white people? Doesn’t Long Beach, Mississippi have black people? Here he is doing the all-important preliminary sleeve-rolling-up. Can’t tour the hurricane site for a photo-op with your sleeves unrolled.


He shared his own memories of the hurricane: “And I guess the -- my most vivid recollection is the piles of rubble”. “It was -- it’s hard to believe then that I would be -- I had faith that I’d be able to come to a home, but I had trouble visualizing.” I’m guessing from some of his words this morning that for him the key to visualization is heavy drinking: “And today, we are able to sit in a homeowner -- the word is ‘home.’ Again, one of the things I like to say is, when somebody walks in, ‘welcome to my home.’” He thinks he lives in Long Beach, Mississippi now. He must wonder what the 84-year old woman is doing in his home.

Bush: “Welcome to mah home.”

Her name, by the way, is Nellie Partridge, a name you really have to be 84 to have. 83 is too young to be a Nellie Partridge, and 85 is too old.

Bush: “Welcome to mah home.”

Bush: “Welcome to mah home.” “That’s a dumpster, Mr. President.”
Then it was on to New Orleans, where he met with local officials at Lil Dizzy’s Café. Bush, aka Big Dizzy, made this, um, promise: “And to the extent we can help, we’ll help.” He demonstrated his grasp of the complexities of the rebuilding process: “I guess the New Orleans Saints football team represents to me what’s happening in this part of the state -- a resurgence, there’s a renewal.”

Deceit and betrayal

Carlos Alvarez, formerly a psych professor at Florida International University, was sentenced to 5 years for “conspiracy to become an unregistered foreign agent” for Cuba. Not even becoming one, which would have doubled the sentence, just conspiracy to become one. He passed to the Cuban government various pieces of unclassified information and personal information on Cuban exile leaders. I’m not sure how this constitutes a crime (the prosecutor was allowed to say that the damage Alvarez may have done is unclear because we don’t know what else he told Havana, which was an attempt to get the court to convict for uncharged crimes for which there was no evidence).

But of course the trial was held in Miami, so Alvarez, and his wife, who was sentenced to 3 years merely for knowing what her husband was doing and not calling the FBI, were really tried and convicted for political crimes. The judge said their actions “undermined U.S. foreign policy.” So? He said they were “in a sense leading a double life,” and that they had committed a “deceit and betrayal” of the Cuban exile community. Which may not be very nice, but... so? Evidently US courts of law, at least in Florida, are now policing deceit and betrayal of the Cuban exile community.

But the idea that I’d go in and threaten someone is an invalid misreading of the way I do business

So on the day we learn that Walter Reed patients have been ordered not to speak to the press, Bush met with some “social entrepreneurs who have decided to help improve the lives of our servicemen and women and their families,” by, for example, entrepreneurially “helping the chaplains help kids, or... helping a family of the injured”. For example, the person in charge of the project giving families life-size cardboard “flat soldiers” was there. They told George some stories: “One of the most enjoyable things I do as the President is to hear stories of my fellow citizens -- stories of compassion, stories of care.” So glad he’s enjoying himself. So glad he thinks of amputees and brain-damaged soldiers as characters in stories. And supporting characters at that. “I’m proud to be the President of a country with so many decent citizens.” Once again, he seems to think that only Americans are decent.

Speaking of decent citizens, you’ll have heard of the background briefing held on Air Force Two by a Senior Administration Official whose name could not be used, who said, “I’ve seen some press reporting says, ‘Cheney went in to beat up on them, threaten them.’ That’s not the way I work. ... But the idea that I’d go in and threaten someone is an invalid misreading of the way I do business.”

The SAO reported on (or possibly gave a valid misreading of) his meeting with Karzai, who he said was “upbeat” because the US is going to give him lots of money and yet more troops. SAO made it abundantly clear that the sole basis of Karzai’s authority is American backing, and that it always has been: “He told a story to the group there about -- this was the immediate aftermath of 9/11 -- about meeting with a group of tribal elders in one of the remote parts of Afghanistan. He was trying to get them organized to participate in going after the Taliban and governing Afghanistan. And he said the only question they wanted to ask me was, is the United States with you.” SAO doesn’t even realize that there’s anything problematic about that.

The SAO warned that Karzai is a crashing bore: “You sit down and talk with Karzai, he’ll talk about the history of Pashtun rule in the region for 500 years. He can tell you what the Durand Treaty was all about between Afghanistan and India in 1889 or whenever it was, and why that’s important to today’s conflict and so forth.” Will this be on the test? No, sadly none of the reporters dared to follow this up by asking the SAO to explain what he – or she! – learned about what the Durand Treaty (of 1893) was all about and why it’s important to today’s conflict and so forth.

Bienvenidos a mi amigo

This morning Bush met with Tony Saca, a minor character on The Sopranos the president of El Salvador. “We spent a lot of time talking together, because I value the advice of the President,” George said, which leads me to wonder how much time ADD Boy considers to be a lot of time, given that he made this comment at 9:51 a.m. I also wonder how much of that time Bush was exercising his linguistic skills. He began their photo-op, “Bienvenidos a mi amigo, Presidente de nuestro amigo de El Salvador. Gracias.”

Bush “expressed my concerns and our condolences about the three gentlemen who were recently assassinated”. Four, actually, but I guess the driver wasn’t a “gentleman,” unlike the son of the guy who ordered an archbishop murdered.

Later in the day he met with the Miami Heat. That’s a basketball team, evidently. At one point he said, “I want to say something to the spouses of the players. Welcome. You’ve got a tough life in many ways with your spouse on the road all the time, and you deserve as much of this championship as they do.” He said “spouse” rather than wives, although I’m guessing they were all wives, because he’s used to saying the exact same thing about spouses of military personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan.


His basketball skills are on a par with his Spanish-language skills. At 11 minutes into this video he attempts to dribble a basketball.


In between those events, there was some dreary swearing-in ceremony he had to sit through. So bored. So bored.




Although at the end a thought seems to have perked him up a bit, possibly, “Ah bet Condi’ll be real impressed if ah show her mah mad hoopball skills at that photo-op with Big Shaq. Ah call him Big Shaq.”

Question authority

The International Court of Justice rules that while genocide did take place in Bosnia (although only the once, in Srebrenica), Serbia is not guilty of genocide. The butler did it. Or possibly Norway. It’s always the quiet ones.

Dick Cheney says the bomb at Bagram Air Base sounded like a “loud boom.” A reporter asked him if the “ludicrous” act was a “self-serving symbolic statement” (which left several ludicrous symbolic corpses). Cheney agreed: “I think they clearly try to find ways to question the authority of the central government. Striking at Bagram with a suicide bomber, I suppose, is one way to do that.”


So the loud boom was a question, sort of like “BOOOOOMMM?”

They text-messaged each other to make sure they didn’t all show up wearing the same outfit.

I like to say we’re in an ideological war that’s going to last a while

The National Governor’s Association, which is the union the governors belong to, or something, is meeting in Washington, so I guess they have to put up with George Bush crashing their party, and laugh at his jokes, no matter how lame: “And we welcome the governors and the spouses. We welcome governors without their spouses. (Laughter.)”

Bush was on his very best behaviour. He didn’t throw his own feces, and even remembered to say ic: “I’ve had some good meetings with the Democrat -- Democratic leadership.”

He wishes he didn’t have to work with the states, or something: “I think about making sure that Homeland Security and our states work closely together. I wish that wasn’t the way it was. But it is.” Or was.

He told the governors about all the shit he likes: “I like to say we’re in an ideological war that’s going to last a while.” “I like to remind people that if we leave Iraq before the job is done, the enemy will follow us here.” “The thing I like most about the law [No Child Left Behind] is that when we find a youngster who is struggling with reading, that we provide extra help to make sure he or she gets up to speed early, before it’s too late.”

That’s the second time I’ve heard him use that “before it’s too late” line recently , which not only suggests that some children will be left behind, because it’s “too late” for them, but is an insult to everyone in an adult literacy program, or indeed anyone who continues to educate themselves throughout their lifetime. But then your understanding of learning must be pretty impoverished if you think it can be reduced to a number: “I don’t see how you can fix a problem unless you measure the problem.”

Not that even he can’t occasionally learn a new word: “Another exciting technological breakthrough is going to come with cellulosic ethanol. It’s a long, fancy word for making gasoline -- or making ethanol out of product other than sugar and corn, like switchgrass or wood chips.” Actually, it’s two words, but thanks for playing.

Caption contest: