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The trial of the owners of the Triangle Waist Company for manslaughter begins. Prospective jurors are asked if they would give the defendants a fair trial “if many of the witnesses called by the prosecution should weep while testifying”.
By the way, you’d think someone would have warned Max Blanck that if you’re accused of being a heartless capitalist responsible for the deaths of 147 of your sweated employees, you maybe shouldn’t wear a large diamond in your lapel.
Letter to the Editor of the Day -100:
Racial violence in Mannford, Oklahoma has killed five people (2 white, 3 black) so far. It started when a negro who’d held up three people was first shot by a posse, then seized from a deputy and lynched.
The German military is planning to build a dirigible that can carry 300 persons, though it doesn’t explain how that would be militarily useful.
Here’s a detail about the British Grenadier guardsman convicted by court-martial for stabbing a 10-year-old Afghan boy, Ghulam Nabi, in the kidney with a bayonet: He had been drinking heavily the night before his unit went out on patrol. When they did, “[Daniel] Crook followed, arming himself with two grenades and a bayonet because his rifle had been confiscated as a safety measure.” I think I can see a tiny flaw in their safety measures.
Crook was actually convicted in June, but the whole thing was kept under wraps. The Guardian just uncovered it.
18 months, by the way, is the sentence for bayoneting a child.
And $800 is what the British military pays to a family whose child one of its members bayoneted.
Donald Trump is to moderate a Republican presidential debate. This must be some definition of the word “moderate” I’ve just never come across before.
Watched the movie “Fair Game” last night. ’s okay. I can’t find out what Scooter Libby’s been doing with himself, and doing for a living, for the last four or five years. Anyone know?
Headline of the Day -100: “Capture of Nanking Was a Tame Affair.” Everyone’s a critic.
Mary Mallon, aka “Typhoid Mary,” sues the NYC Health Dept for $50,000 for holding her in isolation for three years (until last year), claiming she never had typhoid fever – which is true, she was a carrier – and that she has been unable to follow her trade as a cook since her release.
Rebels take Nanking.
Persia’s National Council rejects Russia’s ultimatum (despite a telegram from British Foreign Minister Edward Grey advising they give in).
On the eve of their trial, the McNamara brothers confess to dynamiting the LA Times building. Organized labor, which had strongly believed that the McNamara brothers were framed, is devastated.
President Karzai finally intervenes in the case of a 19-year-old rape victim named Gulnaz. She will be released from prison, where she was placed for “adultery,” along with the child of rape she give birth to in prison, as long as she marries her rapist (this deal would also release him from prison, because of course it would). Out of one prison into the larger prison of forced marriage and the still larger prison for women that is Afghanistan.
The US sends warships to Santo Domingo to “protect foreign interests” and insist on the strict observation of the constitution in replacing assassinated President Ramon Caceras. Because the United States has always been all about observing constitutional requirements in the replacement of Latin American presidents.
Italy claims that the Turks and Arabs fighting them in Libya have committed atrocities. Lots and lots of atrocities. Burying prisoners up to the neck to starve to death, crucifixions, etc.
Mummers were out in the street for Thanksgiving, as used to be the custom. Trouble occurred at 112th Street and 3rd in New York when someone spotted a black man and a white woman together. A stone was thrown and the couple ran from a growing mob, finally with the assistance of a cop getting on a trolley car and escaping. Thing is, the inter-racial couple were actually two white male youths, one in black face and the other in a Columbine suit with a white wig.
Not-At-All-Racist Headline of the Day -100: “Invasion of Negroes Cuts Harlem Values.”
The NYT editorializes that hissing is not acceptable in theaters. “The art of acting was never improved by hissing.”
Russia says that if Persia doesn’t give in to its demands within 48 hours, Russian troops will march on Teheran and add the cost of that to the indemnity. Not only must Persia’s American treasurer be fired, but no more foreigners may be hired without the permission of Russia and Britain.
Revolutionaries fail to take Nanking. The US offers the emperor 2,500 troops currently stationed in the Philippines to keep open the Peking Railway and protect foreigners.
Headline of the Day -100: “Women Howl Down Asquith.” Suffragists, of course, prevent the prime minister delivering a speech on settlement work. Another speaker, future prime minister and class traitor Ramsay MacDonald, describes the heckling as an insult to the prime minister and a degradation of English public life.
Thanksgiving Headline of the Day -100: “40-Lb. Turkey for Taft.” Insert your own Taft-is-fat joke here.
Evidently competitive eating is not a recently created sport. One Charles W. Glidden of Lawrence, Massachusetts is betting $25 that he can eat... well, a whole disgusting menu I won’t repeat here. Glidden “broke into fame not long ago by eating 58 ears of corn in 115 minutes.” Piker. The current corn-eating record is 46 ears of corn in 12 minutes, set by Joe LaRue in 2010.
Oxford University rejects a proposal to allow math and science students to skip the Ancient Greek requirement.
Harvard University rejects British suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst, denying her the use of any Harvard building in which to make a speech, on the grounds that Harvard is a man’s college, and women should not be allowed to speak in it.
A national anti-women’s suffrage association has been formed. Its slogan will be “Down With the Yellow Peril, Women’s Votes!” (yellow being the color of the suffrage movement.) It will be led by a Mrs. Arthur Dodge, who says that the heavy voter registration of women in California does not indicate that women really want the vote. Rather, it was discovered that “the lower element among the women” were registering in order to vote Socialist; naturally, men of the better sort responded by “sen[ding] their wives and daughters” to register.
Russia is demanding that Persia fire its treasurer-general, the American W. Morgan Shuster, and pay an indemnity to compensate Russia for the cost of sending its troops to threaten Persia.
Headline of the Day -100: LAT: “BULL FIGHTS AEROPLANE.” Broke both its wings, too.
The plane’s wings, not the bull’s.
Gov. Brownback has apologized for his staff going ballistic on Emma Sullivan’s tweet, and her high school decided she won’t have to write a letter of apology after all – after she refused to write one. Does anyone doubt that if she’d caved to all the pressure they put on her, they’d simply have made a show of accepting her apology “gracefully” (by which I mean smugly) rather than be forced to acknowledge her First Amendment rights?
Herman Cain was on Wolf Blitzer’s The Situation Comedy Room tonight.
On Pakistan Army Chief of Staff General Kayani: “I have faith in him because I’ve actually talked with someone who went to school with him.”
On the newest accusation of a 13-year affair: “it’s going to be proved that it was probably something else that was baseless.” Probably.
Also, he’s met a lot of people, so “A hundred thousand people could possibly come out. ... it’s probably an infinite number of people who could come forward with a story.” Probably.
“As long as my wife is behind me, and as long as my wife believes that I should stay in this race, I’m staying in this race”. Is it at all creepy that the man accused of all sorts of sexual improprieties always refers to his wife as “my wife” (7 times in the course of this interview) and never by her actual name? Is he afraid he’ll accidentally call her by some other woman’s name?
What is he doing next? “When I go to this fundraiser that I’m permitted to go with supporters, I am going to have a nice steak dinner. When you’ve done nothing wrong, I’m going to continue my routine as normal as planned.” So is having a nice steak dinner proof that he’s done nothing wrong, or is it a euphemism for... something? Answers in comments, please.
Canadian Headline of the Day -100: “A Canadian Capitol in Ruins.” All the government buildings in Prince Rupert burned down. Wikipedia says Prince Rupert was the Halibut Capital of the World until the early 1980s, so this is a pretty big deal.
A Brooklyn judge offers one Antonio Scarrello a suspended sentence on a knife charge if he’ll return to Italy, join the army and go to Libya to fight the dreaded Turk. Scarrello thinks not. The judge sentences him to one year, commenting, “Evidently your blood is not the same as that of the old Romans.”
Rep. Victor Berger (Socialist-Wisc.) says he will introduce a bill for women’s suffrage, although women “probably will make a frightful botch of the ballot at first”.
Germany removes its gunboats from Morocco, officially ending the crisis.
British Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey gives a statement to Parliament relating the history of negotiations with Germany about Morocco. He hopes, he says, that the speech will be “a sedative to a world which has been indulging in a fit of political alcoholism”. He claims, as does PM Asquith later, that British has no secret treaties. They are lying. He says “I do not believe that Germany has aggressive designs”. Er, okay then.
In the debate that followed, Irish Nationalist John Dillon points out that in Grey’s hour and a half speech, there was no word of sympathy for the people of Morocco.
Riots in Lisbon, with exchanges of gunfire between troops and rioters, leading to at least two deaths. Is this a royalist counter-revolution or, as the NYT claims, were the riots caused by the expulsion of two Chinese women for selling phony blindness cures?
The NYT reprints Marie Curie’s love letters at surprising length.
The Bachmann: “This type of amnesty will only encourage other illegals to enter our country illegally.”
Teddy Roosevelt again denies that he’s running for president in 1912, or that he’s supporting Taft, La Follette, or anyone else.
Karl Marx’s daughter Laura commits suicide along with her husband, French socialist (and Karl Marx translator) Paul Lafargue, because they were all old and stuff. Some dude named Lenin will speak at their funeral.
The regent for the Chinese boy-emperor takes an oath to uphold the new revolutionary Constitution, organize a new parliament and exclude nobles from administrative posts. “I and my descendants will adhere to it forever. Your heavenly spirits will see and understand.”
Man Bites Dog -100: A white man will be executed in Georgia for killing a black woman and her daughter. First time a white person has ever been executed for killing a black person.
Oaxaca state secedes from Mexico, or at any rate its Legislature and governor refuse to recognize the Madero government.
There are great plans to celebrate 100 years of peace between Britain and the US in 1915. I predict that 1915 will be all about peace.
Headline of the Day -100: “Against Bathtub Trust.”
Another duel related to Marie Curie. This time, at last, one of the duellists is the dude alleged to be having the affair with her, Prof. Langevin. Pathetically, both parties fired their pistols into the air. (Headline: “Curie Duel a Fizzle.”)
Members of the Illinois Equal Suffrage Association will hold a “suffrage baby show” at the county fair, to show that suffragists can raise pretty babies, or something. There will also be a cooking contest. This must be some definition of feminism with which I am not familiar.
Kaiser Wilhelm II catches a cold driving an open automobile. He likes driving fast. Mrs. Kaiser can’t stop him, but she did stop him going up in a dirigible or down in a submarine, because she never lets him have any fun.
The NYT Sunday magazine section has a lengthy article about Alabama Governor Emmet O’Neal’s views about the current state of the South, under the headline “Lynching Unnecessary, Says Alabama’s Governor.” He says that whites used to be “compelled” to use violence to maintain “law and order” (Define law. Define order.) before the state’s 1901 constitution, whose literacy tests and poll taxes effectively disfranchised most blacks (and a lot of poor whites) in the state, leaving almost no voters at all in the 14 Black Belt counties. O’Neal says that blacks’ failure since then to acquire the education and cash necessary to vote in Alabama shows they really aren’t interested in voting, and indeed their failure to pay the poll tax just proves them “unfit to vote” (or that they know that “literacy tests” administered by racist fucks like yourself will mean it would just be a waste of $1.50.) He bemoans that blacks are leaving agriculture, where they are “more contented and freer from crime” and “most easily controlled.” He says the South went prohibition to keep booze away from blacks, not because blacks are natural alcoholics, but because the quality of the alcohol sold to them was so bad. He says lynching has died out in Alabama because of a provision in the 1901 constitution allowing governors to remove sheriffs who allow lynchings to take place (O’Neal has used this provision once). Mob violence is “no necessity in any Southern state,” he says.
The LAT reports the great news out of our newest colony, the Philippines: “A million naked savages are putting on dresses or pantaloons. Gory head-hunters are washing their hands and going to work.” They’re even wearing shoes and tucking in their shirts now. So conquering them was totally worth it.
In Spring Hill, Kansas, a black man accused of attacking a 14-year-old white girl is saved from lynching by her father, who says that the law should be allowed to take its course.
The Chinese revolutionaries are said to be purchasing 13 airships in the US for their attack on Peking.
Another duel in France over Marie Curie’s alleged sex life, this time between a writer in Gil Blas and an anti-Semitic editor.
Italy, annoyed and bewildered by Turkey’s continued refusal to give in over Libya, plans to blockade the Dardanelles. Russia will not be best pleased.
The editor of French literary journal Gil Blas and the editor of the far-right newspaper L’Action Française duel over whether Madame Curie is fucking a professor.
The Arkansas Supreme Court is hearing an appeal for a death penalty case in which one juror was found to be using Twitter – from the jury box – and another was asleep. Neither were bounced from the state, a practice which the state of Arkansas is defending. The assistant attorney general says the first guy only tweeted a few times, and only about his feelings about the trial, not about its substance (he was caught doing it during the trial, was questioned by the judge, and went right back to doing it from the deliberation room).
The other juror had his eyes closed. Asked by the judge if he’d missed anything, he said, “Not really.” Which was good enough for the judge. And for the assistant attorney general, who points out that it was after all a long trial, and he seems to have heard “the vast majority of the evidence.” “I mean, jurors are human beings.”
Further, the judge told the jury that the state supreme court would automatically review any death sentence, suggesting that they didn’t have to worry their little heads too much about making a mistake. They used to pull that shit pretty regularly in Texas. I thought the Supreme Court had stomped on that practice, but I may recollect incorrectly.
Forgot to mention that the high school students who raised the pardoned turkeys gave them media training, exposing them to loud noises and flash bulbs, so they wouldn’t embarrass the president. In Nixon’s day, they just nailed the turkey’s feet down (true story, I think G. Gordon Liddy must have been in charge).
President Obama pardoned two turkeys today, making his total pardons 6 turkeys and 22 human beings.
The turkeys are named Liberty and Peace, and once again Obama has discontinued the practice of the Bush years, in which the American people voted on the turkeys’ names, as is our constitutional right. It is therefore up to this blog to take up the slack (okay, I’m a little late this year). NAME THOSE BIRDS! Some suggestions to start you off:
- Occupy and WallStreet
- Pepper and Spray
- 99 and Percent
- Robot and Drone
- Super and Committee
The face of Liberty, the ugly, ugly face of Liberty
Tonight’s debate was brought to you by the Heritage Foundation, the American Enterprise Institute, and Satan. Some of the questions came from Ed Meese, Paul Wolfowitz, and David Addington, a reminder that as bumbling, inept, proudly ignorant, and tongue-tied as this bunch of candidates might be, their party has behind them a talent pool of some of the most evil bastards in the world ready to staff their administration.
Transcript.
“I’m Wolf Blitzer and yes, that’s my real name.”
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE?: Ron Paul’s opening statement: “I am convinced that needless and unnecessary wars are a great detriment.”
WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, WILLARD? Romney: “I’m Mitt Romney and yes, Wolf, that’s also my first name.”
AN HONEST UNDERSTANDING: Gingrich wants to extend the Patriot Act forever, and strengthen it, “building an honest understanding that all of us will be in danger for the rest of our lives.”
Ron Paul responds, “you never have to give up liberty for security,” and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike.
WHAT WE HAVE TO REALIZE: Bachmann: “We have to realize we’re in a very different war”. She repeats her line from two debates ago about Obama “hand[ing] over our interrogation of terrorists to the ACLU. He has outsourced it to them. Our CIA has no ability to have any form of interrogation for terrorists.” Because it doesn’t count as interrogation if there’s no waterboarding.
SOMEONE WE’LL LOOK AT: Perry wants to privatize the TSA and eliminate unions. Ditto Santorum, who also wants to profile Muslims, especially young male Muslims. “I think Muslims will be someone we’ll look at.” Cain wants “targeted identification.” “If you take a look at the people who are trying to kill us it would be easy to figure out.” Because they look all terroristy, if you know what I mean. About 30 seconds later he calls Blitzer “Blitz.” So much for targeted identification.
WITH THEIR PARTIES AND THEIR LOUD MUSIC, I’M GUESSING: Huntsman says Pakistan is “the country that ought to keep everybody up at night.” He calls Pakistan “a haven for bad behavior.”
Bachmann, who does not know what the word epicenter means, calls Pakistan “the epicenter of dealing with terrorism.” So which is it, a haven or an epicenter? She says the possibility of Al Qaida getting Pakistani nukes “is more than an existential threat. We have to take this very seriously.” She doesn’t know what the word existential means either. She says Pakistan is “kind of like too nuclear to fail.” Perry says he would cut off all aid and send Pakistan to its room until it proves it can be trusted, and then Bachmann calls him naive, so yeah, that happened.
Perry thinks the answer is to get Afghanistan, India and Pakistan into a free-trade zone, which would get “Pakistan to understand that they have to work with all of the countries in that region.”
HEY, MITT, DON’T LET THE PITH HELMET MESS UP YOUR HAIR: “We need to bring Pakistan into the 21st century, or the 20th century for that matter,” just like “what happened in Indonesia back in the 1960s, where -- where we helped Indonesia move toward modernity with new leadership.” And gave them names of people to be killed as part of the genocidal slaughter of a million people. You know, modernity.
Romney says “This is not time for America to cut and run” from Afghanistan. I’m sure he’ll tell us when it is time for America to cut and run.
Gingrich stopped in the middle of talking about killing bin Laden to ask whether he had 30 seconds or longer to give his answer, because “I’m happy to play by the rules, I just want to know what they are.” Which I thought was amusing because he meant play by the rules as far as answering within a given time-frame, not play by the rules against sending troops into a country secretly to kill people. He says Pakistan was furious with us about that, but we should have been furious at them, because Gingrich likes pretending to be furious about things.
Some Heritage Foundation douche asks if we should help Israel attack Iran.
MOUNTAINOUS: Herman Cain reminds us that “when you talk about attacking Iran, it is a very mountainous region.” But “in some instances, depending upon how strong the plan is, we would join with Israel for that, if it was clear what the mission was and it was clear what the definition of victory was.”
victory >noun (pl. victories) an act of defeating an opponent in a battle or competition.
-ORIGIN Latin victoria.
Hope that helps.
Ron Paul says he wouldn’t, because Israel has several hundred nuclear missiles and “they can take care of themselves,” if by take care of themselves you mean turn the Middle East into a radioactive hellscape.
Herman Cain again wants to remind us that Iran is very mountainous. He does not like heights. Hell, he won’t even sexually harass tall women.
It’s like he learns one new fact for each debate, and this one was that Iran is mountainous.
SERIOUS: Perry wants to sanction the Iranian Central Bank and put a no-fly zone over Syria. “And in that moment, they will understand that America is serious.” But then they’d realize it was “President Perry” ordering these things, and understand that America is not serious.
Blitz, as he will no doubt forever henceforth be known, asks if cutting off all Iranian oil wouldn’t wreck the European economy. Gingrich says that his energy program would actually produce an energy surplus in the United States, which would evidently be large enough to “literally replace the Iranian oil.” So the US would suddenly become a huge net exporter of energy with what, dilithium crystals?
The Newtster goes on: “But if we were serious, we could break the Iranian regime, I think, within a year, starting candidly with cutting off the gasoline supply to Iran, and then, frankly, sabotaging the only refinery they have.”
Bachmann says that Obama “met with [Iran] with no preconditions. It’s the doctrine of appeasement.” When did that happen?
Santorum says he supported AIDS assistance to Africa because “Africa was a country on the brink.” Santorum says that “America is that shining city on the hill.” No word from Cain on whether the “country” of Africa is mountainous, but the “city” of America definitely sounds mountainous.
Blitz keeps having to repeat the questions for Cain.
Ron Paul says “the [foreign] aid is all worthless.”
Romney thinks a trillion dollars is being taken out of the defense budget and put into Obamacare. Paul says nonsense, and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike.
Romney says “The right course in America is to stand up to Iran with crippling sanctions” – if I were a psychoanalyst, I’d have hours of fun analyzing Twitt’s notion of “standing up” to someone by “crippling” them. And we should indict Ahmadinejad for violating the Genocide Convention, because why not.
OR MAYBE A NICE CARD: And once he’s president, “my first trip -- my first foreign trip will be to Israel to show the world we care about that country and that region.”
Gingrich says “if we were a serious country,” “we would open up enough oil fields in the next year that the price of oil worldwide would collapse.” Collapse? If we had that as much oil under our feet as he seems to think, well, nobody better light a match. Also, “Lean Six Sigma,” which sounds like the name of one of his crappy novels.
Gingrich says he would bomb Iranian nuclear facilities “only as a last recourse and only as a step toward replacing the regime.” Bombing our way to a friendly regime in Iran, because what could go wrong.
Rick Perry says the supercommittee failed – “it was a super-failure” – because Rick Perry is hilarious. And if Leon Panetta is an honorable man, he will resign to protest the sequestrations. So obviously that will happen, because Little Leon wouldn’t want Rick Perry to think he wasn’t an honorable man.
WHAT HER VOICE(S) SAID: Bachmann: “Let me answer that in the context of the super committee, because I was involved in the middle of that fight as a member of Congress this summer. And my voice said this. I said it’s time for us to draw a line in the sand.”
I KNEW JIMMY MONROE; JIMMY MONROE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE; AND YOU, SIR... Rick Perry: “I think it’s time for a 21st century Monroe Doctrine.” Evidently “We know that Hamas and Hezbollah are working in Mexico, as well as Iran, with their ploy to come into the United States.”
Ron Paul calls for an end to the war on drugs, and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike. He says we should eliminate the entire welfare state, which is just an incentive for illegal immigrants to bring their families.
Gingrich calls for a “humane” immigration policy, with “something like a World War II Selective Service Board that, frankly, reviews the people who are here.” He’d consider letting people who’ve been here 25 years and have grandchildren and are in a local church (he mentioned that twice) stay. “[A]s somebody who believes strongly in family” – why, I’ve had several! – “you’ll have a hard time explaining why that particular subset is being broken up and forced to leave”.
Bachmann, selectively listening to Gingrich, or just not understanding, keeps saying he wants amnesty for 11 million people and a federal DREAM Act. “We need to move away from magnets, not offer more.” Magnets, as we know, scare our Michele, for some reason.
Next up is Romney, who doesn’t like magnets either, because they might get too close to his robotic CPU; he wants to “turn... off the magnets of amnesty”.
Perry is also anti-magnet (they mess his hair up somehow? I got nothin’.)
Romney says “The answer is we’re going to have a system that gives people who come legally a card that identifies them as coming here legally.” Hey, I know, we could make that card yellow, no wait, green, yeah green. “Employers are going to be expected to inspect that card, see if they’re here legally.”
The Blitz helpfully prefaces a question: “Herman Cain, you may not know this, but today Governor Perry called for a no-fly zone, for the U.S. to participate in a no-fly zone over Syria.” He actually did that in this very debate, but yeah, Herman Cain probably doesn’t know this.
You know, I could analyze what Cain and Perry said about Syria, but why?
Oh wait, somewhere in the middle of his answer, Perry started talking about how Syria and Iran are linked, so a no-fly zone over Syria is one of the ways we stop Iran developing nuclear weapons.
Asked about the Arab Spring, Huntsman is talking about the end of the Ottoman Empire.
Paul notes that a no-fly zone would be an act of war. “I would say why don’t we mind our own business?” He is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike.
Romney, perhaps after exposure to a magnet, started gibbering: “President Obama’s foreign policy is one of saying, first of all, America’s just another nation with a flag. I believe America is an exceptional and unique nation. President Obama feels that we’re going to be a nation which has multipolar balancing militaries. I believe that American military superiority is the right course. President Obama says that we have people throughout the world with common interests. I just don’t agree with him. I think there are people in the world that want to oppress other people, that are evil. President Obama seems to think that we’re going to have a global century, an Asian century. I believe we have to have an American century, where America leads the free world and the free world leads the entire world.” He does, however, point out that a no-fly zone in Syria is silly because there’s no bombing.
Someone asks what security issue they’re worried about that nobody has asked them about. Santorum says “militant socialists” in Central and South America “bonding together” with radical Islamists. Paul worries about overreaction and getting into more unnecessary wars, and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike. Perry worries about Communist China which “is destined for the ash heap of history because they are not a country of virtues,” with the forced abortions and cybersecurity. Romney says Hezbollah in Latin America. Cain says cyber attacks. Gingrich says WMD attacks on an American city, electromagnetic pulse attacks, and cyber attacks. Bachmann says Al-Shabaab in Minnesota. Huntsman says the American economy and the trust deficit.
