Today -100: August 29, 1912: No man has the right to live alone

Michigan holds the first primary elections since the Republican/Bull Moose split, and the Bull Moosers do surprisingly badly, not much better than the Prohibition Party. The Democratic vote seems undiminished, so the Bull Moosers seem to be taking their votes entirely from former Republicans.

Name of the Day -100: The Republican candidate for governor of Michigan will be one Amos Musselman (the Democrat, who, spoiler alert, will win, is named Woodbridge Nathan Ferris).

Taft orders the 10th Infantry to Nicaragua and then, ten hours later, changes his mind. There will soon be 2,000 US marines there, and he figures that’s enough.

Taft in private is said to blame the Nicaraguan revolution on the US Senate. See, if it hadn’t rejected the treaty last year giving the US complete control over Nicaragua’s customs revenues, which account for most of the government’s revenues, there wouldn’t have been any money for the revolutionaries to go after. This is why Nicaragua can’t have nice things.

The US ambassador to Panama demanded that the chief of police and a captain be fired, something about mistreatment of Americans. The former resigned and is “leaving the country under an assumed name,” but President Arosemena is refusing to fire the latter. Let’s see how long that lasts, shall we?

A Mrs. Rae Copeley Raum is running for mayor of San Diego on a platform of taxing bachelors over 25, including widowers who have not remarried after three years, “as a safeguard against race suicide. No man has the right to live alone.”

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Ann Romney’s speech: I can’t wait to see what we’re all going to do together.

(Some of the quotes may not be word-perfect).

AS THEY SAY IN UTAH: “I can’t wait to see what we’re all going to do together.”

WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO WOMEN SIGHING? CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY. “You’ll hear the women sighing a little louder than the men.”

YES WE DO. “We don’t want easy.”

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: “Everything has gotten harder.”

WORST. BLIND DATE. EVER. “His name is Mitt Romney and you should really get to know him.”

The crowd is applauding a basement apartment.

Oh no, they had to eat tuna fish, like a lowly, lowly cat.

They have 18 beautiful grandchildren. And several ugly ones in the basements of each of their mansions.

Who’s called the Romneys a storybook marriage? Name one person, Ann.

EXCEPT FOR HAVING HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM BY TED KENNEDY & JOHN McCAIN: “Mitt has been successful at each challenge he’s taken on.”

“He was not handed success; he BUILT IT.”

YEAH AND HE USED TO TOTALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, BUT YOU WOULDN’T KNOW HER, SHE’S FROM ANOTHER TOWN. “Mitt doesn’t like talking about helping others.”

OH DEAR GOD NO. “He will take America to a better place, just like he took me home safely from that dance.”

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Republican Convention: Does not compute

In the Up-and-Coming-Wingnuts portion of the Convention, Texas senatorial candidate Ted Cruz just said that Democrats are telling Hispanics they’re not welcome here.

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Herman Cain says he’s hired investigators to find the source of those stories about his sexual indiscretions during the primaries. I can say you the money, Herman: it was your dick.

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Today -100: August 28, 1912: An intelligent interest in their own affairs

The NYT, and Dem. VP candidate Marshall, deny Roosevelt’s claim that the people are not ruling themselves. Why, state legislatures are elected every two years in 40 of the states, annually in 7, and quadrennially in Alabama. If the people “fail to take an intelligent interest in their own affairs,” it’s their own damned fault.

I brought that up to highlight that whatever else was wrong with 1912-style democracy, there were a lot more elections than there are now. Many governors were still elected annually.

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I’ve thought of something good to say about Mitt Romney

Unlike oh, say, Sarah Palin, after he loses in November we will never hear from him again.

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Today -100: August 27, 1912: Of black balls (ahem), Sunday mail, and capitalist wars

Attorney General George Wickersham goes to the annual meeting of the American Bar Association to defend Asst Attorney General William Lewis (and two other members), who the ABA is trying to expel because they were admitted before the ABA realized they were black.

Congress snuck into the Post Office Budget Bill a ban on Sunday deliveries, which major cities had.

Keir Hardie, former leader of the British Labour Party, on a visit to the US, says that the working class would not stand for a war with Germany and will not “be deluded into fighting for capital in the event of trouble.” So that’s okay then.

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The saddest words ever spoken

Romney: “You know, all I can do is be what I am.”

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Today -100: August 26, 1912: Of campaign contributions and massacres

The Senate Committee investigating campaign finances won’t take Theodore Roosevelt’s testimony today, as he had asked, nay demanded, but maybe in October...

Another massacre by Turkish forces, in Simnitza, on the Serbian border.

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Today -100: August 25, 1912: Of general deficiencies, campaign contributions, a byword and cause for hissing, and duels

Congress was supposed to adjourn for the year, but instead is deadlocked on the General Deficiency Bill. And I’m not going to read any more of the article than that, because the reality of whatever a General Deficiency Bill is just would not, could not match up to any of the ideas of what a General Deficiency Bill might be that are going through my head.

One thing the Senate is doing: discussing campaign finances. Or, to put it a another way, Republicans are trying to accuse trust-buster Roosevelt of having been aware of campaign contributions Standard Oil made to the Republican Party in 1904, and that he then ordered Standard prosecuted as a monopoly because it refused to give even more money. This is all nonsense, and as near as I can figure, the R’s are trying to raise the issue just enough that it’ll tarnish TR without holding a full inquiry that would exonerate him. TR is demanding that he be allowed to testify, sharpish. Threats of libel suits are winging back and forth. John Archbold of Standard, who made these charges, has conveniently gone on vacation in Europe.

South Carolina Sen. Benjamin Tillman asks voters not to re-elect Coleman Blease, who he says has disgraced South Carolina “and its good name made a byword and cause for hissing.” That’s “Pitchfork” Ben Tillman saying that.

Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “Fatal Duel Fought With One Revolver.” They took turns. One is dead, the other will probably die too.

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Today -100: August 24, 1912: Of canals, plots, and Balkan wars

Taft will give in to the Senate and sign the Panama Canal Bill, violating various treaties by exempting American ships going from one US coast to the other from the toll. Britain will then demand arbitration under its treaty with the US, which the Senate will reject on the grounds that the Canal is a domestic issue.

6 IWWers arrested for an alleged plot to blow up a theater in San Diego and assassinate the chief of police and captain of detectives.

Turkey is fighting Montenegro (which was more or less a country).

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Today -100: August 23, 1912: Darn the government, darn the socks

Headline of the Day -100: “Suffragists To Darn Socks.” Minnesota suffragists at the state fair. Bring your socks, fellas. Oh, and there’s a “war cry”:

Darn the Government; darn the socks;
That’s the way to the ballot box;
Patch the holes in hubby’s hose,
March to the polls and voice our woes.

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Today -100: August 22, 1912: Of dying veeps

The US sends more troops to Nicaragua to protect American-owned property.

Vice President James Sherman makes a speech accepting the Republican nomination for vice president, against doctor’s orders. This was the only time the Republican Party had ever re-nominated a VP, and he happens to be dying. He grumps that everything in this new age is going too fast, with the frenzied speech and the “automobiles rac[ing] to carry their passengers to death at a mile a minute” and that Titanic. I guess that’s meant to refer to Roosevelt. He also says that Wilson is a pedant not a statesman.

The Bull Moose Party will run Dr. A. O. Zwick against Rep. Nicholas Longworth, Theodore Roosevelt’s son-in-law. But what will Alice do?

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Today -100: August 21, 1912: Of Sally generals and bandstands

“General” William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army, dies at 83.

Indiana Gov. Thomas R. Marshall is officially informed of his nomination as Woodrow Wilson’s running mate at an event at which 75+ people are injured when a bandstand collapses.

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A rape is a rape is a rape, to quote Gertrude Stein

Mitt Romney used stronger language – “reprehensible,” “terrible mistake” – against Kevin Yoder’s skinny-dipping than he did against Todd Akin’s legitimate rapeiness.

By the way, I’m not sure why, but “yoder” seems like the perfect word, if one were needed, for someone who gets drunk & swims naked in the Sea of Galilee.

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Obama held a short surprise press conference today.

He explained, “Rape is rape.”

He denied accusing Romney of being a felon.

MAN, HE IS SO NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS ELECTION CAMPAIGN: “They can run the campaign that they want, but the truth of the matter is you can’t just make stuff up.”

NOTHING IS MORE “OVERLY PERSONAL” TO MITT ROMNEY THAN HIS MONEY: “The American people have assumed that if you want to be President of the United States, that your life is an open book when it comes to things like your finances. I mean, this isn’t sort of overly personal here, guys. This is pretty standard stuff.”

WHAT HE HAS INDICATED REPEATEDLY TO PRESIDENT ASSAD: “I have indicated repeatedly that President al-Assad has lost legitimacy, that he needs to step down. So far, he hasn’t gotten the message, and instead has double downed [sic] in violence on his own people.” Well, I’m sure he’s heard the message, he just doesn’t acknowledge the role the president of the United States evidently assigns himself in determining the legitimacy of Syrian leaders.

ER, ISN’T THAT PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE? “We cannot have a situation where chemical or biological weapons are falling into the hands of the wrong people.”

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Trying to shut that whole thing down

If Todd Akin drops out because he’s an idiot, that’s good for America. If he drops out because Karl Rove is cutting off his money, that’s actually bad for America.

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Today -100: August 20, 1912: Of massacres and copyrights

Headline of the Day -100: “To Celebrate Massacre.” The town of New Ulm, Minn., is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Dakota Sioux attack on the town. I assume there will be cake.

Congress votes for motion pictures to come under the copyright laws.

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Deep empathy just sounds dirty when Todd Akin says it

Todd Akin issues a statement saying he has “deep empathy” for women who have been (legitimately) raped, he just thinks they have an extra internal organ that shoots lasers at the sperm of rapists, or something.

While he says he “misspoke,” he does not say in what way he misspoke, i.e., whether he knows that his comments about female biology are batshit crazy. He’s not even willing to pretend that he knows that his comments about female biology are batshit crazy.

Finally, he insisted that his “primary focus” in the senatorial race are deficits and unemployment, and accused people focusing on his batshit craziness of trying to “distract” from those things, so stop distracting everyone, slutty rape victims! Todd Akin, of course, is distracted by shiny objects and fetuses.

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The female body has ways

So according to senatorial candidate Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), victims of “legitimate rape” can’t get pregnant – “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” He knows this from doctors. So if you get pregnant, you’re a slut who is lying about being raped. And if you float, you’re a witch.

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Today -100: August 19, 1912: Of apples and Southerners

Throngs hanging around Woodrow Wilson’s home, waiting for a glimpse of the man, have taken all the apples from his apple trees.

Today -100’s NYT is filled with letters from Southern editors, politicians and others saying that Southerners won’t vote for Roosevelt. The editor of the Augusta Chronicle, for example, says that there are only two white men in Richmond County who incline to him and “one of these is a Taft disappointee, while the other is just queer.”

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Today -100: August 18, 1912: Of party-line voting, dead issues, indecision, and jury-tampering

This is the 1,000th Today -100 post. Collect them all.

Republicans in Illinois are considering fucking with the Bull Moosers by depriving them of the circle on the ballot that voters can use to vote a straight-party ticket, so that Bull Moose voters, unlike R’s & D’s, would have to find and vote for each BM candidate one by one.

Roosevelt, asked by an audience member at a speech to talk about Taft, said “I never discuss dead issues. I want to come back to something serious.” Ouch.

Woodrow Wilson’s people say he hasn’t made up his mind about women’s suffrage, but he’s thinking about it really really hard and might come to a conclusion, oh, some time after the election.

Clarence Darrow is acquitted of bribing a juror, but there will be a second trial for alleged bribery of another juror.

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