The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the alliterative Peter Pace, says, twice, that “if we were to come home, the war would simply follow us home.” Well, maybe it would go away again if you just didn’t feed it.
Bush in his weekly radio address claims that the rather nebulous alleged terrorist plot (RNATP) “is further evidence that the terrorists we face are sophisticated”. Yup, blowing up planes is the height of sophistication. He is deeply disappointed that “some have suggested recently that the terrorist threat is being used for partisan political advantage.” I don’t know who this Sum guy is, but why does he always say those things about our leaders? And what sort of a furrin name is Sum, anyway?
He goes on, “We can have legitimate disagreements about the best way to fight the terrorists, yet there should be no disagreement about the dangers we face.” What a guy, he’ll allow you disagreements, as long as you confine yourself to legitimate disagreements and allow him to define all the facts. In his world, of course, there are no real opinions, there are only facts; everything else follows from those facts. There are facts on the ground in Iraq which will determine, like a mathematical formula, the correct number of American troops. There are facts like the existence of terrorists, of which we have just had a “stark reminder,” but which Sum “forgets.” Or worse, Sum denies the fact that we are at war; Bush “respectfully disagrees.” Bush’s speeches are filled with the facts that he “understands” or “realizes” and which he “reminds” people of, rather than trying to persuade them.
He repeated the line that the US is safer than it was before 9/11, which seems to be giving hostages to fortune and which will run endlessly (except on Fox) if there is another terrorist attack. Did he learn nothing from “Mission Accomplished”?
For better or worse, Bush has largely kept out of the Middle East crisis, speaking to Olmert once (Olmert called him) and Siniora twice over the last month, once this morning. Here’s the photo the White House released of that phone call.
“Hey Fouad, guess what I’m wearing. What’re you wearing?”
The Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesmodel, explaining why Olmert ordered the offensive to begin, while recommending that his cabinet approve the UN ceasefire resolution: “if you hand over to the Lebanese army a cleaner south Lebanon, a south Lebanon where you have Hezbollah removed from the territory, that makes their troubles a lot easier”. See, they’re like house-guests, cleaning up after themselves. Do you suppose “a cleaner south Lebanon” sounded better in the original German Hebrew?
Maybe I should take a vacation and read French novels too: I can’t think of anything to say about the unlikely news that George Bush is reading Camus’s L’Étranger (by the way, the linked AFP story gets the year of the novel wrong and notes that Bush quoted Camus once in a speech while neglecting to mention that he took the quote completely out of context). I think at the next press conference the reporters should only ask questions about the book.
Holding a contest over the weekend is usually a losing proposition, but I’ll give you a choice: 1) what French novel should Bush read next? 2) Let’s assume it was a mistake: when he picked up the book, what did Bush think The Stranger was, or who did he think Camus was?
Some Muslims have expressed displeasure at Bush’s use of the term “Islamic fascists,” arguing that there can be no Islamic fascism because Islam is antithetical to fascism. And also that Bush doesn’t pronounce his sibilants well, and “fascists” has two of them. Bush started using “Islamic fascists” just a couple of weeks ago, I believe (update: a search of the White House website shows single usages on May 25 and June 14). Originally it was Islamo-fascism, which to me sounds more obnoxious and yet a little bit comical at the same time, that “o” giving it a touch of buffoonery (see also: Defeat-ocrats, David O. Selznik). It took him some months to move from a “Some call this evil Islamic radicalism, others, militant Jihadism, still others, Islamo-fascism” formulation last October to adopting the term without qualifiers by March. He’s also taken recently to describing their ideology as “totalitarian.” I always get a little nervous when I try to discern meaning in these shifts of terminology, given that Bush probably can’t define the words he’s using. Or spell them. These words define the enemy by their goals and philosophy (i.e., telling other Muslims to grow beards and not fly kites) rather than methods (i.e., terrorism), perhaps recognizing that most Americans no longer see much linkage between the war in Iraq and protecting Americans from 9/11-type terrorism.
One of the reasons I started blogging was to clarify my own thinking through the act of writing. Didn’t really work in the previous paragraph. Anyone else have any ideas, or is it just better for the sake of all our sanities not to pay too close attention to the words that come out of George’s chimp-like mouth?
Günter Grass was in the Waffen-SS! What would Oskar Matzerath have said?
For your captioning pleasure, a picture from yesterday’s preznidential tour of Metal-Tech in Wisconsin:
I dunno. On the White House website I see the phrase “President’s Statement on Kleptocracy,” naturally I have to click on it, but it’s not the pure comedy gold I was hoping for. “Today, I am announcing a new element in my Administration’s plan to fight kleptocracy, The National Strategy to Internationalize Efforts against Kleptocracy”. More chuckle-funny than laugh-out-loud funny.
Bush also made a statement about the rather nebulous alleged terrorist plot (RNATP) to do something or other with airplanes, which for some reason requires mothers to drink their own breast-milk, which sounds like the sort of thing you could sell videos of to a niche market of perverts (and if any of you sets up that business now, I want my share) (of money, not breast milk). I seem to have lost my train of thought. Oh yes, Bush made his statement at the Austin Straubel International Airport in Green Bay, Wisconsin, standing in front of his own personal airplane, which he can board without being strip-searched, taking off his shoes, or drinking breast-milk, unless of course he wants to.
He said that this RNATP is “a stark reminder that this nation is at war with Islamic fascists who will use any means to destroy those of us who love freedom”. So he’s safe. He thanks Tony Blair and British officials for “their good work in busting this plot.” Busting this plot? Has he been watching Starsky & Hutch reruns again?
As expected, the number one Republican talking point the day after the CT primary is that it just shows that the D’s are soft on terror. My cat received an email from Ken Mehlman with the charming and so very clever subject line “Weak and Wrong: Today’s Defeat-ocrats.” Do you suppose they focus-grouped “Defeat-ocrats”? I wonder what the runners-up were like. And Cheney was wheeled out to speak about the sad decline of the D’s from their glory days when Lieberman was their choice (as opposed to Al Gore’s) for veep, and how this just made America look weak in the eyes of “Al Qaida types.” Mehlman and Cheney both say that Holy Joe was “purged” from the party, as if by a politburo. However, Holy Joe was not purged by a politburo but by CT’s registered Democrats at the ballot box, which is how such things are done in a democracy. R’s pushing this line should be asked just who it is they are accusing of softness and “pre-9/11 thinking,” Ned Lamont, or the citizens of Connecticut.
Cheney, by the way, accused D’s of wanting to “retreat behind our oceans”. Behind? Of course with the Cheney energy policy, global warming may well mean that those of us on the coasts will be not so much behind but under our oceans.
Speaking of lack of respect for the voters, the opposition in Venezuela decided to call off its presidential primary, 7 candidates agreeing to step down in favor of Manuel Rosales, a state governor. Can’t say I know anything about him yet.
What I like about YouTube: within a minute after seeing a character in a series on BBC America mentioning “Laurel and Hardy dancing in front of the saloon,” an old favorite scene of mine, I was watching it on my computer. And now you can too.
I can remember when the British political scandal was a thing of beauty, with fascinating salacious details. Headline from the Indy: “Lib Dem Leader Admits He Uses Wasteful Lightbulbs.”
This next paragraph is a bit of pedantry, and I write it really only for myself: this past Sunday NYT’s Week in Review section has a correction to an article on the history of hunger strikes in the previous Sunday’s Week in Review. 1) The correction is closer to the truth, but still wrong. 2) There were at least 3 other mistakes in the (short) article. 3) Don’t get me started on the quality of their delivery service lately.
So let’s move on to their story about Lamont’s victory, which says his “candidacy... soared from nowhere on a fierce antiwar message”. First, “soared from nowhere” is just crap writing. Second – and yes, I didn’t switch from my pedantic mode after the last paragraph; it’s never a good sign when I start numbering my points – the place where people are tired of the war or never approved of it in the first place or don’t trust George Bush’s handling of it, is not “nowhere,” it’s not the Twilight Zone, as spooky as the Times might find it, it’s America. If Lamont’s win seemed to you to come out of nowhere, you just weren’t paying attention.
Lieberman, in his post-defeat speech, henceforth to be known as the “Sore Loserman Speech,” called his side, the losing side, Team Connecticut, which is just kind of sad and pathetic, really. He accused Lamont of running a campaign of “partisan polarizing,” which is a telling phrase, because this was a primary election and so any polarizing was intra-partisan, unless Lieberman is admitting that he’s been a Republican all this time. (Update: Billmon caught that too.) Sez His Holy-Joe-ness, “For the sake of our state, our country and my party, I cannot, I will not let this result stand.” Suggesting that the election results are a danger of some sort to the state, the country and his (former) party, implying that they are not legitimate, is just an insult to the citizens of Connecticut and to democracy itself.
A WaPo article on Tom DeLay’s difficulties getting off the ballot in Texas mentions something I hadn’t thought about: the new touch screen polling machines make write-in campaigns very difficult.
In May, the American ambassador to Armenia was fired, probably for the crime of referring to the Armenian genocide of 1915 as a genocide. Some senators are holding up, or will vote against, the next nominee, Richard Hoagland, because he refuses to use the word.
Far worse than the comfy chair: something or someone, possibly the Mystical Lords of Irony, has crashed Joe Lieberman’s website, which currently reads: “This account is under construction. Please check back soon. It will be available shortly. Thank you.” Joe is pointing fingers.
See? See how he points fingers? He suspects the worst, a Denial of Service (DoS) attack. That’s DoS, which rhymes with Kos, which stands for Markos Moulitsas Zúniga, True Tsar of All the Internets.
By the way, a word to both Lieberman and Lamont: Go home. This is election day and candidates are not supposed to campaign on election day. It’s bad electoral etiquette.
Forgot to link to George Monbiot’s excellent summary of Israeli-Lebanese relations over the last few years, which should, but won’t, put to rest the claim that everything bad in the Middle East began less than 4 weeks ago with an unprovoked attack by Hezbollah.
More testimony today about the... unpleasantness... in Mahmudiya. Honestly, I don’t know what to call it. There was a gang-rape, it was of a 14-year old, they burned her body, killed her and her family. There’s not really a word that sums all that up. Speaking of summing up, let’s look at the headlines. The Guardian headline to an AP story focuses on the preliminaries: “Soldiers ‘Hit Golf Balls Before Going out to Kill Family.’” Other headlines mention whisky (mixed with an energy drink) and gin rummy. The Daily Telegraph focuses on the after-party: “Troops Ate Chicken Wings after ‘Killing Rape Girl, 14.’” The BBC notes that the “Troops ‘Took Turns’ to Rape Iraqi,” CNN that “U.S. Soldier Poured Kerosene on Raped, Slain Iraqi.” So many ugly, ugly details to focus on. May I stop focusing on them now? Please?
Bush & Condi had a press conference this morning. Possibly because he was standing next to Condi, Bush was very much in his faux-Thomas Jefferson mode
– you all got that was a Sally Hemings reference, right? – talking about creating democracies in Lebanon, in Iraq, in Cuba, and using the exact same narrative and the same vocabulary for each. Reading Bush’s speeches and press conferences reminds me of the old joke where someone is reading Romeo and Juliet and exclaims, “Why it’s just like West Side Story.”
When you’re a Hez, you’re a Hez all the way.
His latest grandiose phrase is that it’s the “great challenge of the 21st century” to protect fledgling democracies against the onslaught of the terrorists.
The contradiction there, which he is blind to, is that self-determination in those countries is undercut at every turn by his own ham-handed efforts to run the world. The past couple of days Bush & his various underlings have been repeatedly asked about the Lebanese government’s utter rejection of the big smelly turd that is the proposed UN Security Council resolution, and have always sidestepped it. Bush usually goes off on a tangent about supporting democracy in Lebanon blah blah blah, with the implication that they should be grateful and keep their little quibbles to themselves. The message is that Lebanon should be a democracy, but the world is very much not one, it is the personal fiefdom of George W. Bush. He proclaimed that “The people on the island of Cuba ought to decide... their form of government” and “The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to the ballot box,” but I forget, who was it he said was The Decider in this country?
Hezbollah rockets killed a record number of Israelis today, 15, of whom 3 were civilians. So Israel is going to bomb Lebanese infrastructure (which Ha’aretz claims it hasn’t done up until now, except for Beirut’s airport, evidently forgetting about all the roads and bridges) and, just to be obnoxious, “symbols of the Lebanese government.” All the talk about being at war with Hezbollah but not the Lebanese people? Always purest bullshit, of course, but now they’re explicitly making war on the Lebanese people. Someone on the IDF General Staff said to Ha’aretz, “It could be that at the end of the story, Lebanon will be dark for a few years.”
Yesterday I commented about the use of the term “offensive military actions” in the draft UN resolution. Today Stephen Hadley was asked about that very thing, and said that Israeli air strikes and ground operations are indeed offensive military actions, but Israel wants the phrase removed from the draft altogether because it claims, as I said, that it is only defending itself.
Sgt. Milton Ortiz, Jr. of the Penn. National Guard plead guilty to obstructing justice by planting an AK-47 near an unarmed Iraqi, Gani Ahmed Zaben, killed by his buddy in Ramadi in February because he was believed to be walking in a “tactical” manner and carrying a gun, which he wasn’t. Charges were dropped against the shooter last month. Ortiz also faced a separate charge of beating up another Iraqi. He was reduced in rank. Not even discharged from the military.
The US is pressing forward on getting a UN Security Council vote, because if there’s one thing that’s influential in the Middle East, it’s a UN Security Council resolution. But while the US and Israel keep talking about the need for the Lebanese government to displace Hezbollah from what they like to call a power vacuum (how can it be a vacuum when Hezbollah is there? In the vacuum of space, no one can hear you scream “Death to Israel”), they’re treating the rejection of their resolution by the Lebanese government as irrelevant. Condi said today that they may not like it now, but “I suspect that after this resolution is passed that you will see an understanding on the part of both parties that the time to have an abatement in this violence is now.” She’s a great one for telling people that it’s “time for” this or that.
And what a busy Condi she was today, appearing on ABC and NBC, and holding a press conference. I’ll take them together.
When did “that’s a hypothetical question” become an acceptable reason not to answer it? Lieberman refused to answer a question about running as an independent on that ground, and Condi refused to talk about the possibility of civil war in Iraq: “I’m not going to deal with a hypothetical.” Yes, heaven forbid we plan for stuff before it happens; worked so well for us in Iraq up until now. She did, however, say that “The Iraqi people and the Iraqi government have not made a choice for civil war.” Did Bosnia hold a referendum first, “Civil war: yea or nay”? Or any other country? Imagine what the campaign ads would be like. I mean I’ve heard of attack ads... Condi admitted that sectarian violence is at its height, but she offered a helpful solution: “The Iraqis need to get a handle on that.” Yeah, they should really get to work on that.
After all the talk about how a ceasefire only made sense if it were lasting, enduring, permanent, stable, eternal, etc., she does rather seem to be trying to lower expectations, saying “these things take a while to wind down” and “there could be skirmishes of some kind for some time to come.” However, “The violence that we are all seeing every day on our screens has simply got to stop” – oh, won’t someone think of the real victims in this: Americans watching CNN – “so that the Lebanese people have an opportunity to begin to return to a normal life.” Under Israeli military occupation, living as refugees amidst piles of rubble, without food, shelter or electricity. Normal for Lebanon, I suppose.
And while at times she treated the UN resolution as a magical incantation, at others she downplayed it. She called it a “first step” 3 times on NBC, 5 times on ABC, and 7 times in the press conference, including, “a good first step,” “a very good first step,” “the best first step,” “the right first step.” Beyond moving in international forces, she was a little unclear about what the second step would be, but that’s probably one of those – how you say? – hypothetical questions.
Her other favorite phrase, all this week, has been “status quo ante,” (5 times on ABC, 6 times on NBC, 4 times in the press conference) the thing to which we cannot return.
Replying to a question from Russert about the rise in support for Hezbollah in Lebanon in reaction to the invasion, she said, “Well, first of all, it is quite understandable that there is a lot of emotion in Lebanon about what is going on there.” Oh, thank you for being so very understanding.
Today’s WaPo Style Invitational contest is pretty good. Compare or contrast two words that differ by one letter:
Osama and Osaka: Given five years, the CIA might find Osaka.
Whores and chores: My wife has never given me a list of whores to do on my day off.
The difference between global warming and global arming is W; actually, that's also what they have in common.
Bush and bust: The difference between a president and his presidency.
Bush and blush: One of them demonstrates self-consciousness and the capacity for embarrassment.
Fast supper and Last Supper: One involves a happy meal.
A late entry was provided today by tiny anchor George Stephanopoulos, who asked Joe Lieberman about the perception that he was “too willing to buck your own party.”
Holy Joe insisted that Lamont is actually a center-right Democrat disguising himself as a liberal, adding “You don’t really know this other guy,” the cry of every incumbent who the voters know all too well.
Actually, though, Joementum seems worried that voters might think he’s someone else, asserting, without offering any evidence, “I ain’t George Bush.” Speaking ungrammatically ain’t going to bolster that case. If he ain’t George Bush, who does he claim he is? Not Joe Lieberman, of course, because no one wants to vote for that guy. No, like every other losing candidate for the last 50 years, he’s Harry Truman. Who he says won in 1948 because the “regular people” turned out to vote. I suppose it’s too late for the Lamont people to put out “Another irregular person for Ned Lamont” bumper stickers.
Asked whether Bush planned to call any Middle Eastern leaders about the draft UN resolution, Tony Insert-Snow-Related-Pun-Here said, “I don’t know if he needs to. I haven’t heard Olmert complaining.” Oy. Besides, Bush was busy with more pressing matters.
Hearings have begun for the soldiers accused of conspiring with Pfc. Steven Green to cover up his rape of a 14-year old Iraqi girl in Mahmudiya and subsequent massacre of her and her family. The London Sunday Times, which seems to have seen papers that no one else has, reports that the girl was not raped only by Green.
The Iraqi national security adviser Mowaffak al-Rubaie says that Iraq has civil strife but not a civil war. So that’s okay then.
Pointless invention of the week: a $1.5 million bed that floats. Magnets are involved.
The US and France have agreed on wording for a cease-fire resolution. Hezbollah would stop attacking Israel and Israel would cease “all offensive military actions.” Except... doesn’t Israel claim that everything it’s done has been defensive?
Oh, and Israel would be allowed to keep its troops occupying Lebanon.
It calls for an end to weapons being supplied to Hezbollah by other countries, so that the only military power in Lebanon would be Israel (well, I hear that there’s a Lebanese army too, but since its entire response to the bombing, invasion and occupation of its country has been, um, nothing, I don’t think we need to count it).
Israel says it will continue operations while it studies the draft... very... slowly.
Bush is going on vacation, Blair is going on vacation (update: no! he postponed it), so why not the mayor of Hit, Iraq, who finds conditions in his town such that he asked the US to send him to Abu Ghraib “just for the summer. ... You have air conditioning, three meals a day, soccer balls. Abu Ghraib is a nice place.” You know, I honestly can’t tell if that was the Iraqi version of sarcasm or what.
Four days before his primary defeat, Joe Lieberman calls for Bush to fire Rumsfeld. As many bloggers have pointed out, in 2004, Joementum wrote in the Wall Street Journal that such a move would make the “foreign and domestic opponents of America’s presence in Iraq” squeal with delight. Today, he said “a new face at the head of the Pentagon might help to open some minds and rebuild some public support [for the war] here in America.” So he’s still not actually willing to criticize Secretary of War Rumsfeld’s performance: it’s all about public relations and selling the war. And speaking of public relations, note his dismissive, arrogant attitude towards the public: people who oppose the war have closed minds and are blinded by their dislike of Rocket Rummy.
One thing I didn’t know: 45% of Connecticut’s registered voters have no party affiliation. 1/3 are Democrats, 22% are Republican.
When I first read the address (transcript, video) which Condi read (badly) to the Cuban people over Radio/TV Marti, it seemed pretty bland and I missed the point. See if you can spot the two key words in this sentence: “We encourage the Cuban people to work at home for positive change, and we stand ready to provide you with humanitarian assistance, as you begin to chart a new course for your country.” The key words are “at home,” and the message is: don’t get in your damned boats and try to come to Miami.
Finally got the IKEA table put together, sort of. Some of that unevenness is just perspective, some of it not so much.
Bush thinks that with Fidel Castro nearly 80 years old and in the hospital, he just might be able to take him in a fight. Today he issued a message, nay, a decree, to the Cuban people, “urging” them to work for democratic change. Not actual democracy, mind you, but a “transitional government in Cuba committed to democracy”. I think the word he’s looking for is “junta.” That choice of wording, which I’ve seen before, is obviously deliberate. He adds ominously, “we will take note of those, in the current Cuban regime, who obstruct your desire for a free Cuba.” Uh oh, he’s taking notes.
Israel hacked into the satellite feed for a Hezbollah tv station in Lebanon, showing a drawing of Sheik Nasrallah with a gun site superimposed on it, bang bang noises, and the printed words “Your day is coming, coming, coming.” Just what the invasion of Lebanon was missing: a logo and a motto.
Via the J-Walk Blog, a site of atheist quotes. The currently top-rated one is from Stephen Roberts, presumably not the one who’s Cokie’s husband: “I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” Although as ever Mark Twain is more succinct: “The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.” And Bertrand Russell: “So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.”
Caption contest, if you like (the guys on horses are Border Patrol).
Couldn’t post earlier. There was an earthquake and I thought it prudent to unplug the computer. 4.4, big deal. So this is a long one.
The House of Representatives cafeterias have changed “freedom fries” back to “French fries.”
Olmert declared today that Hezbollah “has been disarmed by the military operations of Israel to a large degree.” I’m not sure whether that was before or after Hez disarmed itself of 190 rockets by launching them at Israel (wounding 21 and killing one). Olmert counted as part of that victory that “All the population which is the power base of the Hezbollah in Lebanon was displaced.” Just in case you thought that ordering Lebanese to abandon their homes was done out of any concern for their personal safety.
And Olmert, in an interview with the London Times, asks, “And by the way, how do you really know that 400 innocent civilians were killed? How do you know who is innocent and who is not? Why? This is not an army. They don’t wear uniforms that distinguish them from other civilians.”
Israeli ambassador to the UN Dan Gillerman, who seems to be competing with our own ambassador John Bolten in assholery, 1) claimed on “Meet the Press” that Hezbelloh was responsible for the Qana massacre by forcibly preventing residents from leaving, 2) said that he didn’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud (okay his actual words were “If we waited a year or two, they [Hezbollah] would have had chemical and biological weapons, and if we waited another five or six years, Hezbollah would have nuclear weapons.”), 3) accused Lebanon of being big ol’ cry-babies: “Isn’t it time that Lebanon took its fate into its own hands rather than keep crying out to the Security Council and to the international community?”
I don’t want to get too ahead of the process in discussing the procedures the Bushies are talking about for the military tribunals for suspected terrorists. Until they actually officially propose a bill, I’ll refrain from hitting the roof over the notion of letting the secretary of defense decide what crimes should be tried by military tribunals. I’m assuming – dear god, let it be so – that they’re throwing out every half-baked idea they can think of now so that their final proposal will look only mostly evil rather than batshit insane. Still, I would rather have a flat-out extra-legal system of detention without trial, which would at least be honest, than something that pretended to be a legal system but, for example, allowed the introduction evidence that the defense was not allowed to see. That isn’t just not a fair trial, it’s not a trial at all, and I’d rather see no court than a mockery of one. And they want to be able to admit information obtained by torture, and they want that written into law and passed by Congress – they’re trying to make every branch of government complicit. In a way, I’m with them on this one: I want congresscritters forced as often as possible to declare whether they are for or against torture.
The Bushies will also include a provision to immunize what the WaPo calls “service personnel and civilians,” the latter I assume meaning CIA employees, who commit war crimes while following administration policies. Alberto Gonzales called for such “protections for those who’ve relied in good faith upon decisions made by their superiors”. Ah yes, the “I vas chust following orders” defense.
A Miami Herald story begins: “Lacking hard facts about what is happening in Cuba after Fidel Castro ceded power, the Bush administration has accelerated its planning for a Cuban transition and is exploring new ways to broadcast information to the island.” So if they lack hard facts, what “information” would they be broadcasting?
Speaking of broadcasting, here’s a recruitment video for Appalachian State University (which is evidently hot hot hot) that’s been making the rounds. Stunningly bad.
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The LAT reports on how the investigation of the murder of 3 Iraqi detainees by American troops, possibly kinda encouraged by an alleged order by Col. Michael Steele to “kill all military-aged males,” is revealing that Steele created an atmosphere of trigger-happy racism, getting soldiers to compete over who could kill the most Iraqis, tracking their competition on a board at hq with the words “Let the bodies hit the floor” on it, and giving out knives as rewards for killing Iraqis. All very “Glengarry Glen Ross.”
Rumsfeld responded to Iraqi President Talibani’s claim that Iraqis could take charge of security in the whole country by the end of the year: “That’s fine. He’s the president of Iraq, and he can make his statements.”
Caption contest: Bush made a surprise visit to the press briefing room, which is like one of those surprise visits to Iraq, but with Helen Thomas instead of insurgents.
Iraqi President Talibani says that Iraqi forces will take complete responsibility for the security of the country by the end of the year. He also says that the current wave of violence is “the last arrows in their pockets” and that “We are highly optimistic that we will terminate terrorism in this year.” He added, “Dude, I am so high right now.”
Headline of the day: “Thai Bride Admits Feeding Ex-Husband to the Tigers.”
In that Fox interview, Bush supported the House Republican move to link the first increase in the minimum wage in a decade to permanent repeal of the estate tax. You know, when a country’s ruling party is that cynical, when it holds the interests of the poorest workers hostage to the interests of the wealthiest non-workers, voting against them just isn’t good enough. This is the sort of callousness that sparks revolutions. We need heads on pikes, people. We need to build barricades, and I will personally donate raw material for the first one.
Why yes, it is from IKEA, how did you guess?
More London Review of Books personal ads:
Leave me alone with your father for an evening and by the end of the night we’ll have gotten drunk together and have nicknames for each other and be scheduling in a football game. Give me the weekend and we’ll be lovers. Man in denial, 35, determined to bring everyone you know out of the closet before crawling into it himself and nailing the door shut from the inside. Box no. 11/02
The Schrödinger’s cat of personal ads. Box no. 11/08
My way or the highway – the two are very often the same with asphalting loon, 53, mixing his own bitumen and coarse aggregate surfacing solutions at box no. 14/03
I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I’m hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 14/04. Man.
‘Scarface’, ‘Mad Dog’, ‘Pretty Boy’, ‘Baby Face’ – if I had an underworld crime nickname it would be ‘Screwed by Ex-Wife’s Solicitor and Currently Sleeping in a Caravan’. Man, 42. Screwed by ex-wife’s solicitor and currently sleeping in a caravan. Box no. 14/06
Week 3 – Day 2. Breakfast: small piece of fruit (for example an apple), two crispbreads with one tablespoon low-fat soft cheese and one sliced tomato. Lunch: one wholemeal pita bread with a quarter small pot reduced-fat hummus and crudités, one small banana. Dinner: 47 chocolate cakes, anguish, despair, bile, hatred, a small pot of low-fat fruit yoghurt. Post-divorce comfort eater and sex therapist (F, 38). Box no. 15/03
The Red Devils flew over this ad while I was writing it. Family fun day guy (divorced, 51); monster trucks, motorbike displays, St John’s Ambulance and a beer tent. That’s me, breaking my leg on the Marine Corps death slide of self-hatred and over-compensation at box no. 15/05. I’ll meet you by the face-painting stand.
My advert comes in the form of interpretive dance. Man, 62. Box no. 15/09
When the Antmen unite, all will be their slaves. Man, 46, WLTM woman to 50 for whom this opening line works as a prelude to sex. Box no. 15/10
