What’s your hurry?

Forgot to mention: Petraeus warned repeatedly yesterday against “rushing to failure.” Also bad: running with scissors to failure. And swimming to failure less than an hour after eating.

Petraeus & Crocker testify: There are no easy answers

I watched bits of the testimony and the McNeil-Lehrer summary, read Petraeus’s and Crocker’s prepared statements, and half-watched their appearance on Fox.

Petraeus informed us that “There are no easy answers or quick solutions.” No quick solutions? Really? What was your first clue? Was it that we’re in the fifth year of this war?


Crocker: “In my judgment, the cumulative trajectory of political, economic, and diplomatic developments in Iraq is upwards, although the slope of that line is not steep.” Yay! Er, boo?

Crocker: “There will be no single moment at which we can claim victory; any turning point will likely only be recognized in retrospect.” Hell it may have happened 6 or 7 times already.

Crocker says the whole problem is that there was no Iraqi Nelson Mandela, because if there had been such a person, Saddam would have killed him. Or maybe he smothered to death at the bottom of a naked human pyramid in Abu Ghraib.

I’ve been told by one of my operatives that Crocker brought up the Sabra/Shatila massacres in Lebanon (he was stationed there at the time). He thinks the massacres occurred because Reagan pulled out prematurely, and the same sort of thing could happen in Iraq if we pulled out prematurely (and if Israel invaded and occupied part of Iraq and allowed its Christian militia allies access to refugee camps) (which very well could be Richard Perle’s exit strategy).


Crocker: “No longer is an all-powerful Baghdad seen as the panacea to Iraq’s problems.” Way to put a positive spin on the fragmentation of Iraq and the impotence and incompetence of the Maliki regime!

I forget who said this one: “[W]e are putting quick response funds, QRF, in the hands of our provincial reconstruction team leaders to help build communities and institutions in post-kinetic environments.” I believe post-kinetic environment means “after the rubble has stopped bouncing.”

On Fox, Petraeus says outright that there would have been no sectarian violence without Al Qaida.

Listen carefully

Renowned Iraq experts Lieberman


and McCain


have an op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, suggesting that just as Bush had the “courage to change course in Iraq,” so opponents of the war should change course and support the war. They admonish “opponents of the war in the Congress” to “listen carefully to the evidence that the U.S. military is at last making real and significant progress in its offensive against al Qaeda in Iraq.” Those opponents of the war in the Congress are no doubt immensely grateful for this not-at-all-condescending reminder, without which they might have listened carelessly, leading to merry mix-ups galore: “Did he say the surge is seceding?” “I don’t know, I wasn’t listening carefully, I thought he said it was re-seeding.” “Are you sure he didn’t say inbreeding?”

But what about the notion that “the U.S. military is at last making real and significant progress” (emphasis added). When have the two of them have ever claimed it was doing anything else?

The article talks as if the only causes of violence in Iraq are Al Qaida and Iran.

They say that the Sunni Arab community “was largely synonymous with the insurgency a year ago,” which is just a tad reductive if not racist, but that it “has been turning against al Qaeda from the bottom-up”. Which sounds quite kinky.

Well, it does.

Waiting for Colonel Combover

No blog posting today. Obeying Bush’s order not to “jump to any conclusions” before listening to Petraeus and Crocker.

While waiting, can you suggest any captions appropriate for these pictures of Bush in Hawaii on his way back from Australia?

Seeing with his own eyes

The US released 16 Saudis from Guantanamo this week. Here’s a detail the AP left out: one of these oh so incredibly dangerous men had no legs. Blown off by an American bomb in Afghanistan. I’m sure this prisoner was given the best of medical care and physical therapy, and is returning to Saudi Arabia with shiny new prosthetics, or at least a motorized wheelchair, or maybe a couple of skateboards duct-taped together.

Bush cited the Osama bin Laden video (or whoever that was), in support of his Iraq policy: “If al Qaeda bothers to mention Iraq it’s because they want to achieve their objectives in Iraq”. He added that he thinks Osama is a really smart guy and totally believes everything he says, including the thing about the Kennedy assassination, and is it really true that Muslims don’t have to pay taxes?, and...

And in today’s radio address, Bush began, “Earlier this week, I traveled to Iraq’s Anbar Province to visit our troops and see with my own eyes the remarkable changes they are making possible.” Just a reminder: the only thing he saw with his own eyes was an American airbase. Possibly there have been some remarkable changes in that airbase – a really nice swimming pool, for example – but that’s about all he could have seen with his own eyes without, you know, leaving the airbase.

It is traditional on the last day of the APEC summit for all the world leaders to dress in native garb. Chile 2004.


Vietnam 2006.


I’m sure Bush was looking forward to donning this Australian outfit,


but, sadly...

Security ∙ Unity ∙ Prosperity

In an interview with the Boston Globe, Petraeus excuses the lack of political progress in Iraq: “It takes time to resolve these issues, however, just as it took the U.S. time to resolve fundamental issues like civil rights (which is similar to de-Ba’athification)”. So who’s Maliki supposed to be in this scenario? Bobby Kennedy? George Wallace? Rosa Parks? Suggestions in comments, please.

He also deploys the supremely obnoxious phrase the Bushies have been using: the Anbar Awakening.

Bizarre and unsettling story of the day: a 31-year-old Chinese woman has been discovered to have 26 sewing needles in her body, including some which have penetrated her lungs, liver, kidney and, oh yes, brain. They were probably stuck in her by her grandparents, upset that she was a girl, when she was a new-born.

Fred Thompson has unveiled his campaign slogan:


Not exactly liberty, equality, fraternity, is it? Do they think the inclusion of “prosperity” make it seem less fascistic? And since those three words all end with a long e sound, shouldn’t he have used what we all learned this week is his legal first name, Freddie, so it’s all rhymey? Or perhaps they should just have gone with “Fred08. Law ∙ Order”. Or “Fred08. Dun ∙ Dun.”

Speaking of security, unity and prosperity, Guatemala, which has a presidential election Sunday, has been spiraling downwards for several years without the outside world (or, let’s face it, me) paying that much attention. According to the AP, just 1% of its 5,000 homicides annually lead to a conviction. The campaign, which has not been without violence itself, may be won by a general who promises to get tough on crime, using the military, and to bring back the death penalty.

Must-read: David Corn on corruption in Iraq, and what Maliki is doing to thwart investigations of that corruption.

We look forward to the day when we can end the Korean War

At the APEC summit (or as Bush called it, the OPEC summit) in Australia (or as Bush called it, Austria), Bush repeats one of the silliest tenets of American foreign policy, the refusal to end the Korean War. “I said it’s up to Kim Jong-il as to whether or not we’re able to sign a peace treaty to end the Korean War. He’s got to get rid of his weapons in a verifiable fashion. ... We look forward to the day when we can end the Korean War.” Jesus, even MASH ended eventually.


He also had a photo op with Putin.


Putin talked about missile defense and the WTO and Iran and trade. Bush talked about how when Putin visited Kennebunkport, he was the only one who caught a fish.

Bush in Australia

I seem to have accumulated a backlog of pictures of Bush’s APEC Adventures in Aussieland. I have captioned all but the last two, but feel free to suggest alternative captions in comments.

I’m a meat guy.


I’m a meat guy.


I’m a meat guy.


I’m a meat guy.


I’m a meat guy.


I’m a meat guy.

Republican debate: Up past Fred Thompson’s bedtime

Republican debate on Fox.


McCain suggests Fred Thompson isn’t here because it’s after his bedtime. Yeah, keep laughing old man.


Huckabee says we can track packages from Amazon.com (the NYT transcript has a hyperlink to Amazon.com here!), but the federal government can’t track illegal immigrants. I know that’s supposed to make me nervous about illegal immigrants, but actually it makes me nervous about the Tim Wiener history of the CIA I just ordered.

Romney (who moderator Chris Wallace accuses of letting illegal aliens mow his lawn) is against “sanctuary cities” for immigrants. He is for the “sanctity of human life” of fetuses.


Duncan Hunter says when the R’s have people with problems like Larry Craig, they leave, but when D’s do, they make them committee chairmen. A shot at Barney Frank, I assume.

Huckabee says we should care about fetuses as much as about those miners in Utah. Actually, he said “we need to show the same kind of respect for life whether a child is in the womb or whether in a coal mine or in a long-term care facility”. So he wants children to work in coal mines. Out of respect.


Ron Paul calls for airplane passengers to have guns. To huge applause.

Romney says both that we’ll soon see if the surge is working, then he says that the surge has worked. Make up your mind.

McCain says it is working. He said something about the people of NH feeling saddened and frustrated and angry over Iraq and that “I share their anger, their frustration and their failure.” Up past your bedtime, old man?


Huckabee says about Iraq that “We can’t be divided. We have to be one nation under God. That means if we make a mistake, we make it as a single country, the United States of America, not the divided states of America.” The audience goes wild at the idea of making a mistake as a single country. So, let’s see, he wants us to make mistakes as a single nation, and we shouldn’t be divided, so the people who are right should just shut up and stop being right. Sounds like Bush’s position.

Every so often Fox cuts to a local diner, where very average New Hampshireites make very average comments and ask very average questions. But one who has sons (plural) in Iraq takes Romney to task for saying that his sons’ campaign work is equivalent to that service. Romney says there is no comparison, which is funny because he was the only one who made the comparison.

Romney, defending earlier remarks about wiretapping mosques, said the most important civil liberty “is my right to be kept alive.”

Next there’s some Guantanamo talk. Giuliani says we have to keep it open because other countries won’t take the inmates. I’m sure there’s something wrong with that logic, but I just can’t put my finger on it.


Hunter wants to take away their taxpayer-paid-for prayer rugs.

On taxes, Romney admits that while he didn’t raise taxes in Massachusetts, he did raise fees, including on the blind – do you have to have a license to be blind in Massachusetts? – but it’s the Democrats’ fault. I forget why. He says of John Edwards’ tax plan, which would give families only $250, he says “whoop de doo.” Between that and Paul’s line about guns on planes, everyone’s channeling Archie Bunker. And, he said, $250 is less than the cost of Edwards’ haircut. With that sort of cutting wit, he should be a blogger.

Huckabee said that his plan for a 23% national sales tax would end the underground economy by taxing prostitution and drugs. Um, right.

There’s some hypothetical about Iran. Tancredo says political correctness will get us all killed. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I’m sure it sounds good to the average Fox viewer. And Tancredo is nothing if not the average Fox viewer.

Huckabee would “go with every bit of preparation, not only in my head but in my heart, to make a decision that would best protect the American people for generations to come.” And nuke the fuckers.

McCain said: “On January of 2000 -- of 1981, Ronald Reagan came to power and raised his hand as president of the United States of America. By more than coincidence the Iranian hostages returned on that same day. I would employ some of his methods.” Past your bedtime, old man?

George Bush, looking forward to some Australian beef

The Israeli government is deciding whether to cut off Gaza’s electricity, gas, fuel, and, oh yes, water. Or they may just bomb the shit out of it. Or both.

Bush is in Australia, which is the sort of country where being spotted in a lap-dance club has increased the personal approval rating of the opposition leader by 2 points. Bush and John Howard, who is prime minister and is also in charge of the sheep dip, held a press conference.

Bush praised Howard in terms he often uses for foreign leaders: “you know where he stands, you don’t have to try to read nuance into his words.” For once, it was true. John Howard really is as unsubtle as George Bush. It is to marvel.


Bush informed Howard, “I’m a meat guy” and “I’m looking forward to some Australian beef.” Larry Craig immediately applied to be the ambassador to Australia.

He let us in on the private conversations that take place between world leaders: “As I told John, we’re in the midst of an ideological struggle against people who use murder as a weapon to achieve their vision.” And I have no doubt he told John exactly that.

He talked about Anbar: “The province I saw wasn’t lost to the extremists. The place I went had changed dramatically”. I’m guessing Anbar province now looks like... an American air base?

For about the third time this week, he accused people who disagree with him of being blinded to reality by their beliefs: “By the way, people who don’t believe we should be in Iraq in the first place, there’s no political reconciliation that can take place to justify your opinion. If you don’t think Iraq is important, if you don’t think it matters what the society looks like there, then there’s not enough amount of reconciliation that will cause people to say, great, it’s working. If you believe like I believe, that the security of the United States and the peace of the world depend upon a democracy in the Middle East and Iraq, then you can see progress. And I’m seeing it.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “They [Iraq] got a budgeting process that’s funding their military. In other words, there is a functioning government.”

He explained economics (he’s got an MBA, you know): “When trade is up it means commerce is up”.

On things in Burma that are inexcusable: “It’s inexcusable that we’ve got this kind of tyrannical behavior in Asia. It’s inexcusable that people who march for freedom are then treated by a repressive state.”

On urban legends: “Now, I know some say, well, since he’s against Kyoto he doesn’t care about the climate change. That’s urban legend that is preposterous.” Urban legend, as in the sunken city of New Orleans (and Venice, and Amsterdam, and...)

IN OTHER WORDS: “We’ve got great relations with China from a diplomatic perspective. In other words, we’re able to talk with them openly and candidly.”

Of course, as a reporter reminded him, China hacked into the Pentagon computers. It doesn’t matter much whether or not we’re candid with them if they can hack into the Pentagon computers. He said, “it’s best to be able to discuss these issues in an environment that is frank and open and friendly, as opposed to one in which there’s tension and suspicion.” You know what’s an appropriate response to China hacking into the Pentagon computers? Tension and suspicion.

He explained what interested him about Iraq, and what did not: “I’m not interested in artificial timetables or dates of withdrawal; I’m interested in achieving objective.”

Bush with the, oh, I’m gonna say the Australian agriculture minister

Bremer means business

Reading about the letter L. Paul Bremer wrote to George Bush on May 22, 2003 is not a substitute for reading the whole stomach-churning epistle itself.

“As I have moved around, there has been an almost universal expression of thanks to the US and to you in particular for freeing Iraq from Saddam’s tyranny. In the northern town of Mosul yesterday, an old man, under the impression that I was President Bush (he apparently has poor TV reception), rushed up and planted two very wet and hairy kisses on my cheeks.”

These are words Bremer actually wanted the American people to read.

And just to preempt someone pointing this out in comments, no, he does not specify which cheeks.

He wrote of the need to take “vigorous steps to impose law and order on the streets of Baghdad. This, far more than the much-discussed evolution of political structures, is what dominates the life of the average urban resident.” That was more than 4 years ago, and Bush is still talking about the need to establish security before reconciliation is possible.

He also wrote of his goal to get electricity in Baghdad back to pre-invasion levels. So how’s that going?

He wrote, “a legitimate sovereign Iraqi government must be built on a well-prepared base.” So how’s that going?

And yes, he informed Bush of his intention of “dissolving Saddam’s military and intelligence structures to emphasize that we mean business.” There’s no business like complete fucking moron business, like no business I know.

Bush goes to Anbar, part 2: You can see what the future of Iraq can look like

The White House finally provides some transcripts of Bush in Iraq. This one is only partial, starting mid-sentence as he talks about how Anbar is no longer such a shithole. “Anbar is a really different place,” he said. “The level of violence is down,” he said, and while the earlier section of the talk is missing, I’m pretty sure he isn’t referring to the period when American forces in Anbar put Fallujah to siege, bombed it while we prevented its male population from escaping, and used white phosphorus to burn their skin off.


He said that Maliki, Talabani etc are “here in Anbar because they know the success of a free Iraq depends on the national government’s support from the bottom up.” No, they’re in Anbar because you ordered them, at short notice, to come dance attendance on you. He continued, “They know what I know: that when you have bottom-up reconciliation like you’re seeing here in Anbar, it’ll begin to translate into central government action.” I’m not sure I’m following the civics lecture on How A Bill Becomes a Law (Iraq Version).

He does indeed think that 6 hours at the al-Assad Air Base tells him exactly what Iraq is like: “When you stand on the ground here in Anbar and hear from the people who live here, you can see what the future of Iraq can look like.”

Some of those 6 hours were spent speaking to the troops. He told them, “I want you to tell your families the Commander-in-Chief stopped by to say hello”.



IN OTHER WORDS: “In Anbar you’re seeing firsthand the dramatic differences that can come when the Iraqis are more secure. In other words, you’re seeing success.”

IN OTHER WORDS, WITH CONDESCENSION AND A HOOAH: “But I want to tell you this about the decision -- about my decision about troop levels. Those decisions will be based on a calm assessment by our military commanders on the conditions on the ground -- not a nervous reaction by Washington politicians to poll results in the media. (Hooah.) In other words, when we begin to draw down troops from Iraq, it will be from a position of strength and success, not from a position of fear and failure.”

You keep hearing about how members of Congress shouldn’t undermine the morale of the troops. Should Bush really be telling the troops, to their face, that Washington is full of nervous, poll-driven politicians?


Dana Perino makes some friends.

Bush goes to Anbar (they told him he was going to the beach for Labor Day)

Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq today, to meet, we are told, with his “war council.” They’re pretending this trip is part of the process whereby Bush decides how to proceed in Iraq, as opposed to a photo-op intended to sell the war and pressure Congress. The war council includes Robert Gates, Condoleezza Not-So-Bright, Petraeus, Ryan Crocker, the little-seen War Troubadour Tsar Douglas Lute, and Boo Hadley.

He went to the al-Assad air base in Anbar province, to highlight the improved security of Anbar province, which is secure as long as you don’t leave al-Assad air base. Which he won’t.

Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell said the meetings were held at the air base instead of in Baghdad “because Mr. Bush wanted to see first hand the progress in Anbar”. And, you know, the thing about Bush is that after spending his entire trip inside an air base he will actually believe that he has seen first hand the progress in Anbar.

He met Maliki and Talabani, who he gave “a customary Middle Eastern greeting of three pecks on the cheek”. Why oh why are there no pictures of this? And did he climb across the table to do it?


He then declared Talabani to be “Mr. President, Mr. President, the president of the whole Iraq.”

To attend this meeting, Maliki made his third trip to Anbar (just two more than Bush). He always has to be dragged there kicking and screaming by Gen. Petraeus, and his reluctant visits are always portrayed as a sign of reconciliation and increased security. I’m not sure if the president of the whole Iraq has been to Anbar before. It’s not clear if Maliki was planning to talk to the Sunni tribal sheiks whom Bush will meet; certainly he didn’t attend the meeting Bush will be in.


115° in Iraq, and Bush decides to dress like Johnny Cash. All you need to know about the man.



I take it back. That sign says all you need to know about the man.


As Caitlin Upton could tell us, many US Americans can’t find The Iraq on a map.

Before he caught his plane for Anbar, Maliki was asked by a reporter about the massive corruption in his regime. He responded by attacking Radhi al-Radhi, the head of the Public Integrity Commission, in charge of fighting corruption, saying he had fled the country because he is facing corruption charges (trumped up against him by Maliki). Al-Radhi, reached by AP, says he is actually just taking a training course in the US.

Wherein is revealed the worst thing than can happen to a presidency

Maliki is feeling under-appreciated. He thinks his regime hasn’t been given enough credit for all its accomplishments, “such as stopping the civil and sectarian war.” And criticism by American politicians “signals to terrorists luring them into thinking that the security situation in the country is not good.”

Some days there just isn’t enough sarcasm.

Bush has been chatting for months with a biographer, Robert Draper. His goal in Iraq is now “To get us in a position where the presidential candidates will be comfortable about sustaining a presence” so that the US can “stay longer.” See, and you were worried that he doesn’t have a goal in Iraq.

“Self-pity,” Bush says, “is the worst thing that can happen to a presidency.” Actually, pretty much on a daily basis Bush has created new and hideous examples of the worst things that can happen to a presidency.

Speaking of self-pity: “I’ve got God’s shoulder to cry on, and I cry a lot.”

Bush’s memory is practically Gonzalezesque. He doesn’t remember asking his advisers to vote on whether to fire Rumsfeld in April 2006. He says that it was not his policy to abolish the Iraqi army; asked how he responded when Bremer did abolish the Iraqi army, he says, “Yeah, I can’t remember”, but that Stephen “Boo” Hadley has “got notes on all of this stuff.”

Must-read: NYT on the Bush administration and consumer safety.

Adjustment

Crime of the day (Reuters): “Russian Police Arrest Man for Stealing a Bridge.”

Unfortunate headline of the day: “Iraqi Leader Blasts Sunni Hardliners.” Unfortunate because in Iraq that could be true in the literal rather than the metaphorical sense. (Maliki is blaming this week’s sectarian violence on Saudi Arabian clerics).

With all the talk about Fred Thompson being mistaken for his Law & Order character, it occurs to me that no one mentions Rep. Adam Schiff, Adam Schiff also being the name of the original DA character on L&O, who was still on the show when the real Schiff first ran for the California Legislature. I commented that his bumper stickers should say, “Just make the deal, Jack.”

Obama charges admission to his campaign rallies? How much? Shouldn’t he at least pretend that his campaign events are intended to persuade people rather than to raise money?

Bush, in his weekly radio address talked about the crisis in the mortgage industry. Did I say crisis? No, evidently it’s a “period of adjustment.” I forgot: capitalism never has crises. He said, “it is not the government’s job to bail out speculators, or those who made the decision to buy a home they knew they could never afford,” raising two straw men presumably beyond the pale of healthy, honest, benign capitalism. I’m not sure who these “speculators” are supposed to be. Making loans to people inevitably entails speculating on their ability to repay those loans. And the people who took out these sub-prime loans, financial idiots or victims of deceptive lending practices, however you view them, probably don’t include many people who actively decided to take out a home loan they knew they would default on and have their homes foreclosed two years later. Just a few bad apples in a fundamentally sound system just needing a few adjustments, Bush is saying.

An attack for liberty

A bunch of Bush interviews and events from yesterday and today got dumped on the White House website today. This is grueling.

First, a roundtable yesterday with various foreign press, about the upcoming Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit. “It’s an interesting setting, when you have people from different cultures, different languages come together for a common purpose.” Really, the whole concept of people with different cultures who speak different languages is always such a surprise to him.

He’s looking forward to the summit. “Opportunity for me to continue to talk about the struggle between radicalism and reasonableness, between extremism and people that want to live in peace.” Reasonableness.

What else is he looking forward to? “I’m looking forward to reminding people that I take the climate change issue seriously... those of us who are emitters will be there”.

What else? “And this will be an opportunity for me to remind our friends at the table that this is the call of our time, and that we have an opportunity to write a hopeful chapter here in the beginning of the 21st century, and to thank people around the table for understanding this is the call of the time, because there’s been a lot of constructive engagement and good work all aimed at protecting ourselves from short-term attack”.

WHAT DOES HE VIEW CHINA AS? Well, “it’s hard to define the relationship in kind of a simple, one-sentence structure.” Harder for some people than for others. But, “I view China as an opportunity.”

HOW DOES HE VIEW TRADE? “I view it as an -- I view all of us contribute, so long as the world doesn’t slip into protectionism.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “And from a personal perspective, have got warm and cordial relationships with President Hu Jintao. I like him; I like to talk to him. He’s a smart man. We can share issues together. I can say, what are your biggest problems, and he can say to me, what are your problems. In other words, we’ve got a personal relationship.”

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING WHAT LEADERS DO: “And that’s the way I try to do with all leaders, because the best diplomacy is when you can sit down with somebody one-on-one and speak candidly about issues and problems. We’re problem solvers. See, that’s what leaders do.”

Also, there’s a lot of that Putin-eye-looking-into thing: “And as I told you, a lot of foreign policy for me is the capacity to just look at somebody in the eye and tell them what I think, and listen to what they think.”

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING WHAT MURDER IS: “In terms of -- murder is murder, and murder to achieve political objectives is -- needs to be stopped.”

EVIDENTLY THERE’S A WEIRD-ASS DEBATE GOING ON: He continued, “People murdered Americans to achieve a political objective. There’s a debate in our country whether that’s true or not. I’ve made up my mind. I believe it’s absolutely fundamentally true”.

He kept saying that “in the Muslim world, it’s very important for people to understand that the war on terror is not a war against Muslims, it’s a war against murderers. I don’t believe religious people, truly religious people kill the innocent. At least that’s not the religion I believe in.” During that last sentence, he seems to have forgotten that he’s not a Muslim. You’d think it would be easy to remember which religion you claim to believe in.

DISPEL FALSE NOTION AND REINFORCE THE REALTIES: “And any chance we have to dispel false notion and to reinforce the realities is helpful to the United States, and frankly others, as well.”

He said of the invasion of Afghanistan, “This wasn’t an attack on Islam; this was an attack for liberty.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Unfinished business is North Korea. It’s -- let me just say, it is finishing. In other words, we’re making progress.”

I’ve been cutting back on the number of Bush subject-verb disagreements I quote, but how little attention do you have to pay to how people speak for this to come out of your mouth: “The six-party talks is working”?

IN OTHER WORDS: “And as John Abizaid put it, to think the enemy will stay there and not follow us here is -- in other words, we leave before the job is done, they will follow us home.”

What I like about these press conferences with foreign reporters is that some of them actually expect him to know stuff:

Q: Thank you, Mr. President. My next question would touch on Indonesian cleric Abu Bakar Bashir.

THE PRESIDENT: About what?

Q: Indonesian cleric Abu Bakar Bashir.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, right, right.

A reporter informed him that Malaysia is about to celebrate the 50th anniversary of its independence (although it included Singapore in those days). Bush started dictating copy:

THE PRESIDENT: Fiftieth. Make sure my congratulatory remarks get in your article. Headline: Bush congratulates Malaysia. (Laughter.) Do you think that’s what it will say?

Q: Something like that.

He even proved that he read part of the flash card about Malaysia:

THE PRESIDENT: Secondly, I respect Prime Minister Badawi, admire his leadership. When his wife died I tried to call him early just to let him know I cared about him.

Q: He has remarried.

THE PRESIDENT: Has he? Good. I’ll congratulate him. Thanks for giving me that heads-up. Don’t put that in the article that you had to tell me that. You can put it in there if you want. (Laughter.) I’ll be glad to -- I’m going to congratulate him. That’s neat.

MR. WILDER: You did, sir.

THE PRESIDENT: What?

MR. WILDER: You did congratulate him.

THE PRESIDENT: Exactly. I’m going to congratulate him again. (Laughter.) I’ll double the congratulations. (Laughter.) That’s right, I did write him a note. I forgot. Did I call him or write him a note?

MR. WILDER: You wrote him a note.

THE PRESIDENT: That’s right, yes. Sent him a couple flowers.


Then he did an interview with Australia’s SKY News.

HOW DOES HE VIEW AUSTRALIA’S CONTRIBUTION TO PEACE AND FREEDOM? “And so I view Australia’s contribution to peace and freedom as more than just Iraq. ... I view their contribution as intelligence contributions.”

BACK TO SCHOOL: “And I believe those of us who live in liberty have a responsibility to promote forms of government that deal with what causes 19 kids to get on airplanes to kill 3,000 students.”

He refused to “accept the hypothesis” that the opposition might win the forthcoming Australian elections.

The reporter informed him that the entire city of Sydney will be locked down for his visit to the APEC summit. He said this was the first he’d heard of it and, um, sorry ‘bout that.


Then he did an interview with Japan’s NHK.

HE’S NOT SURE WHAT ANBAR PROVINCE USED TO BE: “Al-Anbar province used to be a safe haven -- not a safe haven, used to be kind of the grounds where it looked like al Qaeda was going to be the predominant force, and now we’ve got them on the run. And so there’s been success in the security.”

THE DREAD DOUBLE “IN OTHER WORDS” (AND A WORD DEFINED): “At the grass roots level, in other words at the local level, when people feel secure, they start asking questions about what does it take to create peace so their families can grow up peacefully. In other words, when the thugs get removed and people start saying, I’ve got a different attitude, that’s called reconciliation.”


Today he gave a little talk on the sub-prime-loan thing. Sigh. Boy, am I tired right now. What say I do just a little bit of blogging on it now, and a lot more in a couple of years?

“See, it’s easy for me to stand up here and talk about refinancing -- some people don’t even know what I’m talking about.” Imagine that.

MAKING THE MORTGAGE INDUSTRY MORE TRANSPARENT, AND THIS SENTENCE NOT SO MUCH: “the federal government is taking a variety of actions to make the mortgage industry more transparent, more reliable and more fair, so we can reduce the likelihood that these kind of lending problems won’t happen again.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “We’re pursuing wrongdoing and fraud in the mortgage industry through the Department of Housing and Urban Development, the Department of Justice, the Federal Trade Commission, and other agencies. In other words, if you’ve been cheating somebody we’re going to find you and hold you to account.”

IN NO WORDS:

Q: Sir, what about the hedge funds and banks that are overexposed on the sub-prime market? That’s a bigger problem. Have you got a plan?

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you.


In the afternoon, he announced that Tony Insert-Snow-Related-Pun-Here is retiring and will be replaced by Dana Peroxide. I speak for bloggers everywhere when I say, Thank you, George. Perino, he claimed, “is a smart, capable person who is able to spell out the issues of the day in a way that people listening on TV can understand. She can handle you all.”

And vice versa.



IN NO WORDS:

Q: How do you feel about losing everybody?

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all.


Finally, there was a Labor Day message, which noted that “Our country’s economy is built on the hard work and ingenuity of the American people” and said that “On Labor Day, we honor the hard work and dedication of the men and women of our workforce.”

Maybe it was in anticipation of Labor Day, but in the interviews I’ve cited here, he used the phrase “hard work” quite often. So what is hard work?

“we have to be in a position to work collaboratively and bilaterally to convince countries that in order to be a part of the international world, you have to honor contract, and one contract is you don’t steal somebody else’s intellectual property. That’s hard work.”

“One of the things that this administration has done in working with our friends is to work hard to explain to people the beneficial nature of trading together.”

“I have worked hard to develop bilateral relations in such a way that we can achieve strategic objectives.”

“we need to do the hard work necessary so we can have peace in the long term for children growing up both in the United States and Australia.”

“And I will end up dealing with whomever and work hard to make sure that the Australian and U.S. relationship is good”

“And this administration has worked hard to be in a position to convince others to work together to solve problems.”

Mass disturbances and New Zealand porn

Your commercial of the day, for a New Zealand porn channel. I’m told it contains one or two metaphors for things sexual, but darned if I can spot them.



(h/t Away With Words)

Another Haditha hearing, this one for Staff Sgt. Frank Wuterich. Evidently, just a week before the massacre, he was just sittin’ around with his buds, smokin’, and told them that the next time an IED went off, they should kill absolutely everyone in the vicinity.

And they did.

Guantanamo continues to be a black box. For example, Al Jazeera cameraman Sami al-Hajj, who is on hunger strike in his 6th year of detention without trial, is said by his lawyer to have lost 40 pounds and to be in serious physical shape, and by Gitmo officials to have gained 20 pounds and to be getting downright chubby. Today we hear that there were 385 “mass disturbances” at Guantanamo in the first 6 months of 2007. The military won’t say what that actually means.

Too hot to blog. Talk amongst yourselves.

Must-read: Ed Harriman in the London Review of Books summarizes the state of Iraq.

To make up for the lack of verbiage, here are a couple of other mute animals.

But a half hour later you feel like censoring again

While we’re all waiting around for Larry Craig to announce that he is resigning the Senate to spend more time with his penis, bloggers and reporters have been enjoying themselves by learning all about the intricacies of gay sex in public places. The Explainer at Slate consulted an anthropologist about the whole foot-tapping thing (and a colorectal specialist, who advised against a wide stance). But has no one gone to the bathroom stall in question with a measuring tape? How wide a stance would be required? In fact, if we can somehow force Craig to re-enact his version of the incident, like Rose Mary Woods demonstrating how she supposedly accidentally erased that Nixon tape, I can die happy.

Jon Carroll, in an otherwise so-so column, suggests that the Bush administration has given us all “stupidity fatigue.”

The Israeli government has ordered that Mariya Amin, the Palestinian girl paralyzed by an Israeli rocket last year (who turns 6 tomorrow), be sent to the West Bank. The medical center in Jerusalem has refused the order. The Israeli Defense Ministry said it would be for her own gosh-darned good to move to “an environment that is natural for her”. I think when you guys destroyed her spine and put her on a ventilator, natural was pretty much taken off the table as an option, you loathsome bastards.

Beijing has introduced two lovable cartoon characters, Jing and Cha,

who will pop up every 30 minutes on the computer screens of anyone using the Internet, as an adorable reminder not to go to any naughty websites, or they will fuck you up. One can also click on them to report such sites.

All right, who’s the smartass who clicked on the picture?

Resilience is what he’d like to define people

Bush did another Katrina event, in Mississippi. He pointed out Tommy Longo. “He’s from Waveland.” Actually, he’s the mayor of Waveland, Mississippi. I think I’ve got you all pretty well trained by now; see if you can spot the inappropriate metaphor in the first sentence of the following quotation, and a familiar phrase in the second:

I’ve always viewed Waveland as a benchmark to determine whether or not this recovery is more than just shallow. In other words, I’ll never forget seeing Waveland as we choppered over Waveland. It was like nothing, it was gone, completely destroyed. And so when I talk to Tommy, I really view Tommy as a barometer and if Tommy is optimistic, I’m going to be optimistic; if Tommy says there is progress, I’m going to say, thanks. And Tommy is okay.

He went on,

The interesting thing about the folks who live in this part of the world, they may have lost their building, but they never lost their soul or their spirit. I think the Senator [Trent Lott] called them -- resilience is what he’d like to define people. I call them optimistic about life.