Today -100: November 4, 1910: Of canting and sickening hypocrisy

Henry L. Stimson reviews yesterday’s Carnegie Hall speech by his rival John A. Dix: “Canting and sickening hypocrisy, calculated to turn a man’s stomach.” The hypocrisy is that Dix wants tariffs reduced, but two years ago his partner in the wallpaper biz asked for increased duty on imported wallpaper. Aren’t you offended by Dix’s “sanctimonious cant”? Stimson thinks you should be.

Obama press conference: Taking a shellacking

This afternoon Obama held a press conference on the subject of how it’s all the economy’s fault.

THOSE WHO HAD BOTH WON AND LOST? HOW VERY ZEN: “Last night I had a chance to speak to the leaders of the House and the Senate and reached out to those who had both won and lost in both parties.”

LIKE WHEN BIDEN GETS INTO THE BOURBON: “I can tell you that some election nights are more fun than others.”

MOSTLY THEY SAID “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BACKYARD?” “Over the last few months I’ve had the opportunity to travel around the country and meet people where they live and where they work, from backyards to factory floors. I did some talking, but mostly I did a lot of listening.” Obama is renowned for his listening skills.

What Obama has learned during the course of all this listening, is that “People are frustrated -- they’re deeply frustrated -- with the pace of our economic recovery and the opportunities that they hope for their children and their grandchildren.” See, they’re not frustrated with him, it’s with the economy. And not even the trend of the economy, but the pace of that trend. So it’s all good.

WAIT, THERE’S A REASON? “There’s a reason we have two parties in this country, and both Democrats and Republicans have certain beliefs and certain principles that each feels cannot be compromised.” Funny, I’m pretty sure we have more than two parties. I mean, I voted for candidates from three parties yesterday.

ALTHOUGH ONE SEEMS TO HAVE A MONOPOLY ON TRI-CORNER HATS: “As I’ve said before, no person, no party, has a monopoly on wisdom.”

WHAT HE DO BELIEVE: “I do believe there is hope for civility.”

IT ALMOST SEEMS LIKE HE’S TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE ECONOMIC SITUATION HERE: “And that’s because I believe in the resiliency of a nation that’s bounced back from much worse than what we’re going through right now -- a nation that’s overcome war and depression”. So get bouncing, America.


AP’s Ben Feller asks if “who do you think speaks to the true voice of the American people right now: you or John Boehner?” Oddly, Obama never addressed that important question, although I guess if we hear the true voice of the American people and it’s either unsettlingly robotic or choking back tears, we’ll have the answer.

If you were waiting for a big admission of his shortcomings, here it is: “And we were in such a hurry to get things done that we didn’t change how things got done. And I think that frustrated people.”

WHAT HE’S NOT GOING TO ANTICIPATE THAT THEY’RE NOT GOING TO, WAIT, WHAT? “Well, what is absolutely true is, is that without any Republican support on anything, then it’s going to be hard to get things done. But I’m not going to anticipate that they’re not going to support anything.”

Jake Tapper asks the big question: “what does it feel like?” Obama: “It feels bad.”

WHAT THE SMARTEST THING FOR US TO DO IS: “I think the smartest thing for us to do is to see if we can get Democrats and Republicans in a room who are serious about energy independence and are serious about keeping our air clean and our water clean and dealing with the issue of greenhouse gases”. So, not a very large room. Which saves on the cost of heating it. See, where’re half-way there?

POSSIBLY THE MOST DISTURBING-SOUNDING SENTENCE OBAMA HAS EVER UTTERED: “Cap and trade was just one way of skinning the cat; it was not the only way.”

He says eliminating Don’t Ask Don’t Tell shouldn’t be a partisan issue.

WHAT HE DOESN’T THINK ANYBODY DENIES: “So I don’t think anybody denies they think we’re in a ditch. I just don’t think they feel like we’ve gotten all the way out of the ditch yet. And to move the analogy forward that I used in the campaign, I think what they want right now is the Democrats and the Republicans both pushing some more to get the car on level ground. And we haven’t done that.” In this analogy is the Auto Club China?

Hans Nichols of Bloomberg asks “if you’re going to have John Boehner over for a Slurpee”. Obama: “they’re delicious drinks.” Boehner would get an orange Slurpee, of course.

WHAT THERE IS A INHERENT DANGER IN: “There is a inherent danger in being in the White House and being in the bubble. I mean, folks didn’t have any complaints about my leadership style when I was running around Iowa for a year.” So maybe you should be doing that, then. Also, you didn’t have a leadership style per se because you weren’t actually a, you know, leader yet.

WHAT THEY WERE ABLE TO DO: “And they got a pretty good look at me up close and personal, and they were able to lift the hood and kick the tires”. They did what you to you now? Show us on this Tonka truck where the Iowans touched you.

WHAT ONE OF THE CHALLENGES THAT WE’VE GOT TO THINK ABOUT IS: “And one of the challenges that we’ve got to think about is how do I meet my responsibilities here in the White House, which require a lot of hours and a lot of work, but still have that opportunity to engage with the American people on a day-to-day basis, and know -- give them confidence that I’m listening to them. Those letters that I read every night, some of them just break my heart. Some of them provide me encouragement and inspiration. But nobody is filming me reading those letters.” Well, they should probably get right on that.

“But, I mean, I think it’s important to point out as well that a couple of great communicators, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton, were standing at this podium two years into their presidency getting very similar questions because the economy wasn’t working the way it needed to be and there were a whole range of factors that made people concerned that maybe the party in power wasn’t listening to them.” Well, to be fair, Clinton had someone behind the podium giving him a blow job, and Reagan was staring off into space waiting for the director to tell him to get on a horse.

So evidently, presidential popularity is entirely a function of the economy and nothing to do with his policies. He could be Reagan or Clinton or Millard Fucking Fillmore. I’m pretty sure this is exactly the message the American people were hoping for from him.

WHAT HE’S NOT RECOMMENDING: “now, I’m not recommending for every future President that they take a shellacking...”


Although about the time President Palin takes office, Bristol should be giving birth to little baby Shellac.

NOW HE’S JUST TALKING ABOUT EVOLUTION TO PISS THE REPUBLICANS OFF: “But I do think that this is a growth process and an evolution.”

WELL, THE SEX JUST IS’NT THAT GOOD ANYMORE: “And the relationship that I’ve had with the American people is one that built slowly, peaked at this incredible high, and then during the course of the last two years, as we’ve, together, gone through some very difficult times, has gotten rockier and tougher.”

WHAT MAKES HIM COME AWAY FEELING SO MUCH MORE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THIS COUNTRY: “because when I travel around the country, even in the toughest of these debates -- in the midst of health care last year during the summer when there were protesters about, and when I’m meeting families who’ve lost loved ones in Afghanistan or Iraq -- I always come away from those interactions just feeling so much more optimistic about this country.” Well that makes it all okay.

Daily Telegraphy: Obama sex doll!

News you can use from the Daily Telegraph:

“Tanzania Elects First Albino MP.” Instead of chopping him up to use his body parts in witchcraft, so that’s progress.

A poll of 14,144 British men reveals that Salvador Dali has the most famous mustache. Hitler isn’t even on the top 10 list, though Chaplin is. I smell a fix.

More revelations from Bush’s memoirs: Vladimir Putin bragged to Bush about the size of his... dog. He said it was bigger than Barney.

A metaphor for the state of international relations? “Barack Obama Sex Doll for Sale in China.” Oh sure, the Telegraph has a picture of that, but not of the albino.

“Yes we can”

Election 2010 – A small moral victory. Very very very very very small.

Josh Marshall calls the re-election of Harry Reid “a small moral victory”. Define moral. Define victory. I mean, whatever would we have done without Harry fucking Reid?

3 Iowa Supreme Court justices have been removed from office by the voters in retaliation for their ruling in favor of non-discrimination against same-sex marriages (California voters did the same in 1986 over the death penalty). However, ousted Democratic Governor Chet Culver will replace the justices, not incoming Republican Terry Branstad.

The Republican who shot the unarmed Iraqis didn’t make it, neither did the SS dress-up guy or Ken “Buyer’s Remorse” Buck

Carl Paladino’s concession speech:



Robert De Niro in The Untouchables:



Compare and contrast.

Today -100: November 3, 1910: Of slupskies, political scamps, drop kickers, and dummies

Name of the Day -100: a St. Louis former Republican Party ward boss and famous “character” has bet that he can drink 20 pints of beer every day for 30 days. He says he has a “system” for managing all that beer, and that he will win or die in the attempt. Oh yes, his name: Abe Slupsky. Almost an onomatopoeia.

NY Democratic gubernatorial candidate John A. Dix gives his only major election speech in the city of New York, at Carnegie Hall. The NYT notes that many women were present in the audience. Mayor Gaynor was unable to make a speech (having been shot in the throat in August), but he did send a letter of endorsement alluding to the Republicans’ alliance with “political scamps,” which everyone understood to mean William Randolph Hearst. Dix pretty much ignored Stimson in his speech and directed his attacks to Roosevelt, calling him “the apostle of tumult and the protagonist of misrepresentation,” an “instigator of panic” and the “destructive agent of business depression.” He also referred to TR’s “inordinate vanity,” “dangerous ambition,” “reckless conduct,” and lack of dignity and self-respect. I guess that pretty much covers it.

Dix’s speech was interrupted by a suffragist, Maud Malone, who was ejected. What she said, the NYT didn’t report.

I misread the headline “Drop Kickers at Harvard” as “Drop Knickers at Harvard.” I don’t know if that says something about me, about 1910, about Harvard, or possibly about all three.

Headline of the Day -100: “Jersey Poll Lists Full of Dummies.” They said it, not me.

Election 2010 – The Enstupiding

First, fuck you Wisconsin and the cheese you rode in on.

Second, I lost. Well, Christine O’Donnell lost, but she’s me.

This morning I received a phone call from Susan Sarandon telling me to vote for Prop. 19 (marijuana legalization). Naturally, I do anything Susan Sarandon tells me to do (since the lemon juice scene in Atlantic City).

Lexington, Kentucky elects an openly gay mayor, Jim Gray. As far as I know, it wasn’t even an issue, as opposed to the 2004 US Senate race in Kentucky, where Jim Bunning’s proxies made unsubtle suggestions that the D. candidate, Daniel Mongiardo, was gay – the state senate president called him “a limp wrist” – and Mongiardo responded by trumpeting his hatred of teh gay. Mongiardo, who has since married – a woman – ran again this year but lost the D. primary to Jack Conway, who just lost to idiot Rand Paul.

Since Roland Burris was an appointee, his replacement takes office not in January but as soon as the Ill. election is certified, at which point there will be no black senators.

On the other hand, Tim Scott (from South Carolina) will be the first black Republican congresscritter since J.C. Watts left in 2003. Scott beat Strom Thurmond’s son in the primary.

Oklahoma, where the wind, as I understand it, comes sweepin’ down the plain, but not from Mecca, bans sharia law. In fact, State Question 755 (the “SOS Amendment”) bans the use by OK courts of any international law, so it might not be as irrelevant to the real world as it’s generally been portrayed.

Daily Telegraphy, and the return of bunga bunga

News from the Daily Telegraph: a 10-year-old gives birth in Spain.

“Sicilian Bandit King’s Skeleton Is Too Short” (Salvatore Giuliano, supposedly killed and buried in 1949, evidently faked his death).

“Harry Potter Blamed for India’s Disappearing Owls” (for children’s parties and, sigh, sacrifices).

And I’ve been remiss in not mentioning Silvio Berlusconi’s latest scandal, intervening to get a 17-year-old illegal immigrant Moroccan bellydancer (and not a prostitute at all, she says) who goes by the nom de bellydance “Ruby” released from police custody after she was arrested for theft. He told the cops she was the granddaughter of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak. She is not. Evidently she and the PM met at a “bunga bunga” party, which refers either to some sort of sex act (possibly imparted to Silvio by Qadafi)(!) or to a dirty joke, evidently involving a pair of his political enemies and the sexual practices of a tribe of African cannibals. I’d hoped to find the exact sex act/joke before posting, but we can’t have everything.

This is the second time the term “bunga bunga” has appeared in this blog; the last time it was uttered by Virginia Woolf and friends in a rather different context.

Ruby (who says she never had sex with Berlusconi) is writing a book.

Berlusconi says, “I have a gruelling work schedule and if I happen to look pretty girls in the face now and then, it’s better to be passionate about beautiful women than to be gay.” She’s 17 years old. He’s 73.

And, not surprisingly, Berlusconi’s package catches on fire.

Vote early

and vote awful.

Today -100: November 2, 1910: Of rumors, betting, clubwomen, and trains

There is a rumor of a revolution in Spain.

A false rumor.

Speaking of false rumors, a false rumor that Jews ritually killed a Muslim girl sets off a pogrom in the Jewish quarter of Shiraz in Persia. 12 Jews were killed and every house in the quarter was systematically looted.

In the absence of opinion polling, the NYT keeps reporting on wagering. For example, a week before the election, Dix is favored 3:1 over Stimson.

In Chicago, “Mounted police today charged mobs of striking garment workers and made numerous arrests, only to be dumfounded when met by groups of clubwomen and society leaders, who, when arrested, produced calling cards in lieu of bail bonds. It was a new experience for the police, and it plainly confused them. ...Most of the clubwomen... were garbed as working girls and the police could not distinguish them from strikers until after arrests were made.” It must indeed have been very confusing for the cops not to know who it was permissible to beat and arrest. For example, one clubwoman was, um, clubbed. The NYT keeps using the word “riot” but never describes any behaviour that would justify the term.

In the year ending June 30, 1910, 3,804 people were killed in the US in railroad accidents and 82,374 injured. There were 5,861 collisions and 5,910 derailments.

Today -100: November 1, 1910: Of alliances of crooked politicians and crooked business, and flying high

In a campaign speech for Henry L. Stimson, Teddy Roosevelt says “we stand against the worst alliance of crooked politicians and crooked business that this state has seen, or this city has seen, since the days of Tweed.”

At a Stimson campaign rally in the Grand Music Hall in NYC, the man introducing him noted that when Stimson was a US District Attorney he hired Felix Frankfurter out of Harvard, even after Frankfurter explained that he was a Jew, because that’s just the kind of guy Stimson is.

Ralph Johnstone, flying one of the Wright planes, sets a new altitude record: 9,714 feet. That’s nearly twice as high as the altitude records set in July. Spoiler alert: Johnstone died in a plane crash a couple of weeks later.

Today -100: October 31, 1910: Of resurrections, revolutions, child labor, bloodless hands, and heron battles

In Bristol, Connecticut, two members of the weird-ass Koreshan cult attempted to dig up the grave of Cyrus Teed, who died two years before but had proclaimed that he would rise up as the Messiah. However, before they succeeded, “both were deprived of their reason and died before they could be taken to an asylum.”

There’s a revolution going on in Uruguay.

In a bold move, Henry L. Stimson comes out against child labor to the New York Child Labor Committee.

Yesterday, outrage and disruption prevented French PM Aristide Briand going further in a speech to the French parliament after he said of the railway strike that “Had the actual laws of the country not been sufficient, I would not have hesitated to resort even to illegal measures for the purpose of preserving the fatherland.” Today he denied being a dictator and held up his hands, saying, “Look at these hands – not a drop of blood!” He wins a vote of confidence 329-188.

Front Page Headline of the Day -100: “Sailors in a Battle With a Blue Heron.”

So now that sanity’s restored, what’s next?

I watched the Jon Stewart rally on C-SPAN, which provided the usual C-SPAN graphics, putting Father Guido Sarducci in quote marks in case we might be fooled, although R2D2 was just identified as R2D2. I skipped over most of the musical numbers, so I kept catching up with the DVR and had to alternate with the French tv series on Carlos the Jackal, which gave my evening a slightly odd vibe.

Signs spotted by me or others: “I didn’t have time to make a better sign.” “Give my false dichotomies or give me death.” “Hitler = Hitler.” “Death to Nobody.” “Look at my ironic hipster sign.” “Having a Sign Makes Me Right.” “I hope today isn’t too windy so my sign doesn’t blow away.” “My Political Views Can't Be Summarized by a Sign.” “Keep it Sane, Stupid [The acrostic of which is kiss].” “I can spell.” And the inevitable marijuana legalization sign as prescribed by law, “Fweedom,” with the “weed” in green. Dude.

In the end, I wasn’t that impressed, because while I support “sanity” in politics, pretty much by definition, I don’t see that as entailing “moderation” in politics, as Jon Stewart seems to. Skepticism is a virtue, but so is enthusiasm and principled activism and Stewart’s largely apolitical notion of politics seems to leave little room for activism and enthusiasm. Or who knows, since his message is mostly about what not to do and very little about how to engage in politics.

I also don’t share his belief that the insanity and violent rhetoric is solely a product of the media and politicians (“If we amplify everything, then we hear nothing”) and that the American people, left to themselves, would be moderate and reasonable and willing to compromise, although I’m sure it would be pretty to think so.

At any rate, we can all agree that Stephen Colbert had the better wardrobe.



(Update: 100 of the best signs – and more in comments – here. H/T to Alert Reader Josh.)

Today -100: October 30, 1910: Of campaign speeches, women voting, rubber bands, and lively Cocks

Henry L. Stimson “endeared himself instantly to a crowd of 1,000 people this afternoon on the railway platform at Saratoga” by making these remarks in a campaign speech: “Look out for the engine behind you! Look out!”

The Ladies’ Home Journal investigates what effects women’s suffrage has had in Colorado and Utah. The (male) investigator finds that child-labor laws are no better than in other states, that prostitution has not been wiped out, and that the women in Denver are bigger drinkers even than those in New York, Chicago or San Francisco. “Even some of the drug stores in Denver, according to good authority, serve whiskey and brandy to unescorted girls.” And women voters in Denver are also just as susceptible to bribery as the men.

So really, what’s the point in letting the little ladies vote?

English aviator Claude Grahame-White sets an air speed record, 60 mph, at a meet on Long Island. But the real hero, by which I mean idiot, of the day was J.B. Moisant, who entered the contest in a plane that wasn’t fully rebuilt after an accident (the rubber band that worked the controls was missing) (I’m not making that up). He took second place (and died in a plane crash in December).

Headline of the Day -100: “Littleton Making It Lively for Cocks.” Martin Littleton, running against Congressman William W. Cocks.

Today -100: October 29, 1910: Of warplanes, dubious attitudes towards matrimony, sugar trusts, Bourbons, and insane brides

Secretary of War Dickinson, in France, is rumored to be negotiating to purchase 10 airplanes for the army.

The NYT thinks Francis McGovern shouldn’t have promised to get married if elected governor of Wisconsin. For a start, “The women of Wisconsin will generally consider his attitude towards matrimony as dubious.” Fair enough.

Henry L. Stimson says the Sugar Trust is trying to defeat him.

Roosevelt calls the Democratic candidate for governor of Connecticut, former CT Supreme Court Justice Simeon Eben Baldwin (mandatorily retired at 70), retrogressive, reactionary and Bourbon because he ruled that the federal workmen’s compensation law was unconstitutional because it interferes with their liberty of contract. However, what TR doesn’t mention is that Baldwin supports a workmen’s compensation law in CT to change that legal doctrine.

Headline of the Day -100: “Bride Insane at the Altar.”

Today -100: October 28, 1910: Of undesirable aliens and election promises

The Commissioner of Immigration at Angel Island in San Francisco is suspended because of complaints from the Asiatic Exclusion League and others that he was allowing in too many Chinese, Japanese, Hindus and other “undesirables.”

Francis McGovern, Republican candidate for governor of Wisconsin, promises that if elected, he will get married, although he has no one in mind. He was elected and served two terms as governor but none as a husband. (Thanks to the Wisconsin Historical Society for research assistance.)

Today -100: October 27, 1910: Of messing with Texas, literacy tests, and repeating Dix

The New Mexico Constitutional Convention increases the amount of land it wants from Texas to 600,000 acres.

The Taft administration, under criticism for not having given a fraction the patronage to blacks that Roosevelt did, has been looking around rather explicitly for a token to promote. It now announces that it will appoint William H. Lewis assistant attorney general, the highest post a negro has ever held in the federal government. Wikipedia informs us that Lewis (1868-1949) was also the first black man ever to play college football, for Amherst and Harvard, where he coached for 11 years (which seems an odd use to make of a degree from Harvard Law School), and the first black member of the American Bar Association, where there was a strong move to expel him when his race was discovered. Southern senators will delay his confirmation until next June.

The NYT continues its laser-like focus on negro voting rights, giving an astonishing 90 words (many of them inaccurate or misleading) to the story that the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled constitutional both the “grandfather clause” for the new literacy test and the special voting procedure adopted for the referendum in which all votes not cast against the measure were counted as being for it (voters had to scratch out the words “for the amendment” with a pencil, which was not provided in every polling station).

TR says that Dix is being supported by men who “wish to employ children in their business for unlimited hours.”

A Henry L. Stimson campaign rally in Rochester is marred by “continuous interruption by eight or ten indignant and somewhat intoxicated men, who kept repeating the name of Dix.” Er, are you sure it was a name they were repeating?

Full of rage

A forensic psychiatrist hired by the Pentagon says that Omar Khadr, who has been held in Gulag Guantanamo since he was 15, is... wait for it... “full of rage.” Evidently, “He is very angry about being in custody.” Dr. Welner has a degree in duh from the University of Miami.

The camera always adds 10 pounds of fascism

Rand Paul’s designated head-stomper Tim Profitt says “the camera angle made the scuffle Monday night appear worse that it was.... and I apologize if it appeared overly forceful”.

It’s all about the camera angles.

This trial we call show (addendum)

The Omar Khadr plea deal was more shameful than I realized: it requires him to give up his right to sue the US for any abuse at Guantanamo (and for being illegally detained without trial in the first place).

Today -100: October 26, 1910: Trust issues

TR has been attacking Dem. gubernatorial candidate for NY John A. Dix with dubious claims of a connection to the defunct wallpaper trust. Dix now attacks his opponent, Henry Stimson, for gathering evidence against the sugar trust while employed as a federal D.A., then resigning and taking a large fee ($27,000, as opposed to the $12,000 a year he made as a D.A.) for prosecuting the trust as a special prosecutor.

French PM Briand claims that arrested leaders of the railway strike have confessed that it was all a plot to ruin France by violence, anarchy and civil war.