Tuesday, June 30, 2015

¿Quien es mas punchable?


With Chris Christie entering the race, it’s time once again to rank the Republican candidates’ faces from least punchable to most punchable. Here’s what I got:
Pataki
Fiorina
Walker
Carson
Paul
Graham
Rubio
Jindal
Perry
Jeb!
Cruz
Huckabee
Christie
Trump
Santorum
Your mileage may vary.


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Today -100: June 30, 1915: Of mediators, mind-readers, and cheering diggers


Woodrow Wilson cancels his trip to the Panama-Pacific Exposition in San Francisco because he’s certain the warring European countries are about to ask him to mediate a peace agreement. Any day now.

The conviction of mind-reader W. Bert Reese for fortune-telling is overturned on appeal after he proves that he can, in fact, read minds, correctly recounting things the judge wrote down. Reese says it’s not his fault if he has abnormal powers. Reese once convinced Thomas Edison that he was a genuine psychic.

Headline of the Day -100: 



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Monday, June 29, 2015

Today -100: June 29, 1915: I have not willed this!


Georgia’s new governor, Nathaniel Harris, says the Frank case is over and everyone should go home. Former Gov. Slaton flees the state.

Speaking of fleers, Huerta says that far from planning to lead another uprising in Mexico, he would only return to Mexico if it needs him to defend its flag. Very reassuring.

Supposedly, Kaiser Wilhelm visited the Western front and wept over a pile of dead German soldiers, “I have  not willed this!”

Germany and the US disagree over whether the 1799 US-Prussian Treaty allows Germany to sink American ships such as the William P. Frye. Germany seems to think it can sink as many ships as it likes, providing it then pays compensation in an amount it determines by itself.

Headline of the Day -100:


And the tuberculosis-industrial complex grinds to a halt. The strike is at the Montefiore Home Country Sanitarium for Consumptives in Bedford Hills, NY, where a new superintendent put in place rules strictly segregating the sexes and barring inmates from leaving without permission.


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Sunday, June 28, 2015

Today -100: June 28, 1915: Of lamps, mazes of machinations, and boomeranging psyops


It’s the anniversary of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

Inspired by his factory burning down six months ago, Thomas Edison invents a “fireman’s lamp,” a portable lamp with a two-pound battery that can see through smoke.

Former Mexican dictator Victoriano Huerta and Gen. Pascual Orozco are arrested in New Mexico for violating US neutrality laws by planning military intervention in Mexico. Both are released on bond. Huerta claims he wasn’t about to cross into Mexico but is actually on a perfectly innocent visit to his daughter and then a vacation at the Panama-Pacific Exhibition in San Francisco, although curiously his ticket was only to El Paso.

Carranza applauds the US’s “act of justice” in disrupting Huerta’s “maze of machinations conducted in secrecy against the peace of Mexico by well-known reactionaries”.

Yes, he actually said “the peace of Mexico.”

The London Daily Mail claims that Austria, in talking up the idea of a separate peace with Serbia as a propaganda ploy to create difficulties between Serbia and Italy, nominal allies who both lust after the same territory, has unintentionally made the Italian public euphoric at a prospect of peace which is entirely unrealistic.


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Saturday, June 27, 2015

Today -100: June 27, 1915: I am not saying that woman suffrage will make women crazy


Russia forces out Minister of War Vladimir Sukhomlinov, a 66-year-old, old-fashioned cavalry guy perhaps not best suited to running a 20th-century war. In 1916 he’ll be arrested for treason, because some of his associates were accused of spying for Germany. The post-Revolution Menshevik government will put him on trial for leaving Russia unprepared for the war and send him to Siberia before exiling him.

The German socialist newspaper Vorwärts is suspended yet again, for publishing a Social Democratic Party appeal for peace with no conquest or annexation.

Georgia Gov. John Slaton leaves office, to the sounds of a mob, unhappy with his commutation of Leo Frank’s death sentence, baying “Lynch him!”, as was the custom, held back only by a force of police and soldiers (the mob, not the governor). Slaton is planning to leave the state until it’s safe to come back, which may be a while. 20 men are caught near Slaton’s house carrying guns and dynamite. Mobs are searching outgoing railroad trains for him. Slaton says he acted according to his conscience and unlike another former governor, one Pontius Pilate, he didn’t turn a Jew over to a mob. There are reports of secret meetings forming branches of something called the Knights of Mary Phagan and taking blood oaths to avenge her death on Slaton and Frank.

The NYT publishes a letter to Alice Chittenden of the NY State Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage from Dr. Charles Dana, professor of nervous diseases at Cornell Medical College, announcing his opposition to the “distant and selfish cry” for women’s suffrage, which he calls “a holy cult of self and sex”. He asserts that the nervous systems of men and women are entirely different physiologically and that women are way more prone to insanity, which would increase 25% if they lived as men do. “I am not saying that woman suffrage will make women crazy. I do say that woman suffrage would throw into the electorate a mass of voters of delicate nervous stability.” He adds that the average suffrage zealot has the mental age of 11. And he should know because he’s a doctor. And a professor. At Cornell.


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Friday, June 26, 2015

Today -100: June 26, 1915: No flame, no gain


Headline of the Day -100:

Germany again claims that Britain and France used gas first. In fact, they’re now claiming that the Lusitania was secretly carrying tetrachloride of tin to be used in Allied poison gas shells.

The British government asks the public to eat less meat.

Momentarily Puzzling Headline of the Day -100: 


And why would the French government be attempting to place an order with the Essex Novelty Company of New Jersey, you ask? Is Gen. Joffre secretly Wile E. Coyote? Reading further, it turns out that the Essex Novelty Company makes fireworks and France asked them to make detonator caps, but they refused.

Headline of the Day -100:
 


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Thursday, June 25, 2015

Today -100: June 25, 1915: Of blockades, fainting empresses, popes, and colorful nicknames


Britain replies to US complaints about its blockade of Germany, saying the US has nothing to complain about.

Fog of War (Rumors, Propaganda and Just Plain Bullshit) of the Day -100: The Novoe Vremya claims that when the German empress was visiting wounded soldiers at Posen, one officer, near death from shrapnel wounds and with all of his limbs amputated, told her he wished Kaiser Wilhelm and all his children suffered as he has. The kaiserin was removed “in a fainting condition.” Also, Red Cross nurses have heard such stories about how one of them was supposedly treated by a German officer that they all carry poison around with them to prevent capture. More fog: Austrian troops are supposedly shooting all clergy in Galicia, on general principles.

French Catholic newspapers are not best pleased at the idea of dead soldiers being incinerated. Some people think they’re kicking up such a fuss because non-Catholic French people are pissed at the pope for an interview he gave complaining about the Italian government in general and its censoring of his mail in particular and failing to declare himself on the Allied side of the war. There have also been rumors that the Vatican is considering moving to Spain for the duration.

Gangster Names of the Day -100: In the Tombs, Benny “Hey, Why Don’t I Have a Nickname?” Snyder is beaten nearly to death by three other prisoners wielding breakfast bowls for being a “squealer.” Snyder murdered “Pinchy” Paul on behalf of Joe the Greaser, a rival of “Dopey Benny” Fein.


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Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Today -100: June 24, 1915: Can’t you buy clothing from an American? Can’t you buy shoes from an American?


Germany and Austria capture Lemberg (now Lviv), which Russian troops had occupied last September.

British Minister of Munitions David Lloyd George gives trade union leaders seven days to produce an army of munitions workers pledged to go anywhere in the country they are told to go, in exchange for “a certificate attesting that they are working for King and country” – or else some measure of legal compulsion will be introduced. So he’s threatening conscription for factory workers when there isn’t even conscription for soldiers yet.

Lloyd George is sending David Thomas, the coal magnate, back to the US and Canada to represent the Munitions Ministry. Jeez, Thomas is still wringing out his clothes from the last mission he undertook for the government (he came back on the Lusitania).

Sir Richard Ashmole Cooper, MP says that last week he offered the government 24 million shells from the UK, Canada and the US, as well as 1 billion rifle cartridges and 2 million rifles. “If this offer is not accepted I want to know the reason why.” The reason why, Lloyd George explains, is that when the War Office asked Sir Richard the names of the companies that would produce all these things, he gave them the name of one company, which was actually a lithographic printing company, but was willing to give it a go.

Someone tries to dynamite Andrew Carnegie’s house on 5th Avenue, but a cop spots the burning fuse.

Carranza replies to Pres. Wilson’s ultimatum, saying no he won’t negotiate with Villa or anyone else, he’d much rather crush his enemies militarily.

More blowback from Leo Frank’s commutation: anonymous letters have been sent to Jews in Marietta, Georgia, telling them to leave the city. And cards are being distributed in Atlanta asking people to boycott Jewish businesses and patronize “Americans” instead.


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Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Today -100: June 23, 1915: The evil that theorists may do lives after them


A NYT editorial on yesterday’s Supreme Court decision striking down grandfather clauses says the 15th Amendment was a mistake: “It attempted to thwart by legislation a determination which has never been thwarted in the history of the human race by legislation or any other thing whatever – the determination of the white man to rule the land wherein he lives. ... The evil that theorists may do lives after them; their best intentions may become a curse to the country.”

H.G. Wells thinks the Allies can win the war through air power. Part of his thinking seems to be an assumption that Germans are better suited to the methodical, orderly work of trench and artillery warfare than to the romantic work of aviators.


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Monday, June 22, 2015

Today -100: June 22, 1915: No peculiar necromancy in 1866


Georgia Gov. John Slaton, in his last week in office, commutes Leo Frank’s death sentence to one of life imprisonment. His lengthy statement explaining his decision blames the trial judge, who is now conveniently dead, for not understanding his own power to commute the sentence when the case was entirely circumstantial, despite his own doubt about Frank’s guilt.

The governor declares martial law in the area ½ mile around his house, and troops with bayonets disperse crowds who want to... discuss the matter with him. This is believed to be the first time a United States governor has ever had to declare martial law to protect himself. A mass meeting at the Atlanta court house adopts resolutions denouncing Slaton for destroying the courts, because nothing says respect for the courts so much as a baying mob. In Marietta, home town of Mary Phagan, Slaton is hung in effigy, the effigy bearing a sign reading “John M. Slaton, King of the Jews and Georgia’s Traitor Forever.” State Solicitor Hugh Dorsey, who prosecuted the case, criticizes Slaton’s decision, saying that Slaton was “disqualified, at least to an extent, by his environment and affiliations” from viewing the case impartially(meaning that one of his law partners was Frank’s lawyer). Dorsey will be elected governor in 1916, largely on the back of this case.

In Guinn v. US, the Supreme Court strikes down the grandfather clause in the Oklahoma and Maryland constitutions in a ruling also affecting similar provisions in Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and Virginia (Wikipedia says also North Carolina, but the NYT says NC’s grandfather clause expired in 1908; in 1915 the state was instead using educational qualifications to stop negroes voting). In the law just struck down, Oklahoma’s literacy test for voters didn’t apply to people whose grandfathers were either eligible to vote in 1866 (before the passage of the 15th Amendment) or were soldiers or lived abroad. The state told the Court this didn’t violate the 15th Amendment because it didn’t explicitly mention race, which is the exact same argument made in 2015 in the Supreme Court in support of de facto housing segregation (Texas Department of Housing and Community Affairs v. The Inclusive Communities Project). But the Court, in a decision written by Chief Justice Edward Douglass White, a former Confederate soldier, rejects OK’s claim as an evasion: “it cannot be said that there was any peculiar necromancy in the time named [1866], which engendered attributes affecting the qualification to vote”. The Court didn’t have a problem with a literacy test per se.

The NAACP filed a brief in the case, its first before the Court.

Oklahoma will keep the literacy provision, but require that those who had been excluded from voting by the overturned law register to vote within a 12-day period or “be perpetually disenfranchised.” That too was overturned by the Supreme Court in 1939.


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Sunday, June 21, 2015

Today -100: June 21, 1915: Of fat frogs, trusties, and tunnels


Headline of the Day -100: 


100 kg (220 lb) men may be conscripted for non-combat duties.

The wife of the warden of Joliet Prison is murdered, probably by a negro trusty convicted of manslaughter, her skull crushed and the warden’s apartment (in the prison) set on fire.

The creation of the Federal Reserve has led, inevitably, to the first attempt at a Federal Reserve Bank robbery.

Headline of the Day -100: 



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Saturday, June 20, 2015

Today -100: June 20, 1915: Take me out to the ball game


The USS Arizona is launched, 15 months after construction began. That’s the USS Arizona that was sunk at Pearl Harbor.

Former Secretary of State William Jennings Bryan holds a peace meeting in Carnegie Hall before a mostly labor-union audience. The meeting agrees that the US government should take over all munitions patents and manufacturing.

German troops are fighting a losing battle against the “tenth enemy”: lice. Specifically, Polish lice.

Clarice Baright has applied to NY Mayor John Mitchell to be appointed to the Court of Special Sessions, Juvenile Court division. The mayor first has to figure out whether a woman is even eligible to be a magistrate. She is an expert on juvenile crime and could not be more qualified. He won’t appoint her, although she will temp at the job for 30 days in 1925 while one of the judges is out sick.

Carranza’s attempt to unite all of Mexico behind him in response to Woodrow Wilson’s ultimatum has instead succeeded in breaking up even his own faction, as four cabinet members resign and several generals including “Lefty” Obregón are backing them. Carranza has retreated to a fortress. Wilson’s plan is still, reportedly, to have Carranza step aside in favor of some mythical person acceptable to all sides.

A New Jersey jail allowed 18 prisoners to see a baseball game in which the NY Yankees were beaten by a local team which the NYT crankily refuses to even name. At the end of the game, the prisoners couldn’t find the deputy sheriff who was supposed to take them back, because he’d gone off to celebrate. After looking around for a bit, they walked back to the jail, but no one answered their knocking, and the burglars amongst the company proved unequal to the job of breaking in. Eventually a cook heard them and let them in, along with 5 hoboes they’d picked up along the way. “It is understood that a pleasant evening was had by all.”
Buy me some peanuts and craaaaackerjack
I don’t care if I never go back.

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Friday, June 19, 2015

Today -100: June 19, 1915: Of peace prayers, well-educated white men under negro control, u-boats, and tractors


The German authorities are considering whether to prosecute the Cardinal Archbishop of Cologne for publishing a prayer for peace, saying “Nothing on earth is so cruel as war and such a war as the present war with its oceans of blood and tears.” In the past, though, he’s said that God is on Germany’s side, so who knows what’s up with him.

Germany complains that France is maltreating German POWs in Africa, especially in Dahomey (Benin), “where well-educated white men are under negro control”. In retaliation, French POWs will be forced to labor in swamps.

German feeling in favor of ruthless submarine warfare is reinforced by the story, whether true or not I don’t know, that two weeks ago a u-boat did what it was supposed to do under the rules of “humanitarian” warfare and gave a warning to a fishing ship it intended to sink so that the crew could escape, but the ship fired on her and sank her. (Update: Within a couple of days the story had changed from U-14 being fired on to U-29 being treacherously destroyed by a British tank steamer flying a Swedish flag. In fact, U-29 was rammed by one British dreadnought in March as it attempted to sink another dreadnought, no treachery involved).

A Cleveland company is advertising poison-gas shells in foreign publications. The government is not best pleased.

Henry Ford has invented an “automobile tractor.” I’m not sure what he’s actually invented that’s so new; tractors have been around since the beginning of the century, which is why there’s, you know, a word for them. At any rate, Ford will soon begin mass-producing tractors and come to dominate the market. The tractors will keep young men on the farm, Ford says. He doesn’t seem to have asked young men if they want to be kept on the farm.


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Thursday, June 18, 2015

Today -100: June 18, 1915: Of gunboat diplomacy, slackers, and swell shells


Woodrow Wilson sends 3 warships to Mexico carrying 3 companies of Marines who the admiral in charge of the expedition is authorized to land to deal with the Yaqi Indians.

British Minister of Munitions David Lloyd George will introduce a bill to establish labor courts to fine munitions workers for “slacking.” Strikes and lockouts will be illegal. Profits will be restricted to pre-war profits + 25%.

As I mentioned, the German ambassador to the US sent an emissary on the arduous journey to Germany to convey his views about American reactions to the Lusitania sinking, because he rightly didn’t trust the security of cable traffic. Well, several US newspapers have been running rumors that that emissary, Dr. Anton Meyer-Gerhard of the German Red Cross, is actually Alfred Meyer of the German Privy Council, who was in the US on a secret arms-buying mission. Another version has Meyer or some other mysterious German traveling as Meyer-Gerhard’s assistant and the whole trip being a smokescreen to sneak him out of the country. The German ambassador will go to Acting Secretary of State Lansing tomorrow to formally deny any knowledge of this Alfred Meyer person. Lansing will formally accept that, because Count von Bernstorff... gave him his word.

William Jennings Bryan says the US’s military unpreparedness actually makes for peace; Europe demonstrates that deterrence doesn’t prevent war.

At the start of the zeppelin attacks on London, total blackouts of street lights were considered but rejected as creating more hazards (for example, making it difficult for fire trucks, police and ambulances to get around) than the actual bombing.

Rhyming Headline of the Day -100:



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Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Today -100: June 17, 1915: Of palaces, incinerations, rockefellers, and zeppelins


French planes bomb the Karlsruhe Palace, the home of the grand duke of Baden. Presumably they didn’t know that the queen of Sweden was visiting, but the wing she’s in is untouched. Kaiser Wilhelm’s aunt is also in residence.

France is experimenting with incinerating its dead soldiers. On its first try, after 5 hours “no unpleasant odor was noticeable.”

At the Lusitania inquiry, Cunard chairman Alfred Booth says that it was perfectly fine that the ship wasn’t using all its boilers – saving coal but reducing speed – because no ship had ever been torpedoed when it was going more than 14 knots, and the Lusi was making a full 18.

31 socialist writers send a letter to John D. Rockefeller Jr., accusing him of murder in the Colorado coal mines, not just for the Ludlow Massacre, but for the high mortality rate in his mines, high even by coal mine standards, and for manipulating the courts to sentence union leaders to death. Since union leaders are evidently being held responsible for acts committed by union members, it actually seems only fair that Rockefeller should be tried for murders committed by his thugs. Among the signers of the letter are Upton Sinclair and Sinclair Lewis.

Headline of the Day -100:
It’s probably just a little gas. Hah!


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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Today -100: June 16, 1915: Of rafts, helmets, futuristic bicyclists, and rubber



The British Court of Inquiry into the Lusitania sinking opens, and the fix is in. It’s a propaganda exercise, pure and simple. Any survivors who might criticize the Admiralty, the Cunard Line, or Capt. Turner (American passengers are most critical) are excluded as witnesses, and the inquiry is headed by Lord Mersey, who also ran the Titanic inquiry and decided that no one had done anything wrong. Lawyers representing victims and survivors are present, but Attorney General Sir Edward Carson is censoring their questions.

The main item of business on the first day (the inquiry will last only 3 – Carson says he doesn’t intend to bring “a raft of evidence” – really, Edward, really?) is to disprove that the ship was armed.

Headline of the Day -100:


A negro who murdered a farmer is lynched outside of Hope, Arkansas.

Headline of the Day -100: 


Nothing says The Future like a bicycle.

Which is the kinkiest war headline of the day -100? Is it this?


or this?


or perhaps this?



Frank Sheehy-Skeffington, Irish nationalist and feminist, was arrested under the Defence of the Realm Act for making statements “causing disaffection and affecting recruitment” (a speech against the prospect of conscription). Sentenced to 6 months, he hunger struck, like his suffragette wife Hanna back in the day, and has been released after 7 days under the Cat and Mouse Act, the first time the Act has been used for a non-suffrage-related offense.




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Monday, June 15, 2015

Today -100: June 15, 1915: Of wandering Jews, Greek elections, poisoned water, and lynchings


Romania seems to have done a deal with the Allies to enter the war. They want Transylvania. And Bessarabia. And other territory.

Headline of the Day -100:



Spain says it will take Jewish refugees from the Balkan war zone. This is the result of a campaign promoted by a Louis Friedman of New York since before the war. How welcome Jews will be remains a question, but Spain has admitted that the decree of expulsion (the 1492 one?) is no longer in force.

Greek elections: the party of former prime minister Eleftherios Venizelos, who was fired by the (now very ill) king for his pro-war views, wins a majority of parliamentary seats.

Fog of War (Rumors, Propaganda and Just Plain Bullshit) of the Day -100: the Berliner Tageblatt on May 9 (the NYT has evidently just received a load of old German newspapers) claims two British navy divisions got into a battle with each other at night.

Britain will stop treating German U-boat prisoners differently from other POWs, and Germany will stop its reprisals against British prisoners.

A lynch mob in Winnsboro, South Carolina, shoot a negro being taken to court on assault (presumably rape) charges, killing the county sheriff in the process.

Anti-German riots in Moscow after some factory workers get sick, which naturally led to rumors that Germans had poisoned the factory’s drinking water.


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Sunday, June 14, 2015

Today -100: June 14, 1915: A farewell to arm


In Lahore, India, 81 Indians are indicted for conspiracy against the lawful government of India. The revolution is said to have started in Sacramento, of all places.

Mexico: Gen. Obregón is falsely reported to have died a few days after his arm was shot off.

Last week, the German occupation authorities in Belgium shut down transportation in and out of the town of Malines to punish it for not providing munitions workers. Now, Cardinal Mercier, who has clashed with the Germans more than once, attempts to walk out of Malines – with a large retinue. There may have been a clash of some sort.

Ernest Cowper, a Canadian journalist for Jack Canuck who survived the Lusitania sinking and rescued 6-year-old Helen Smith of Pennsylvania, who lost both her parents, her baby brother, and two cousins, says he handed her over to a woman in Queenstown who said she was Helen’s aunt, but who he now thinks was just some wealthy woman who read the story, because after he wrote a story about Helen he got 22 offers to adopt her.

OK, I’ve looked it up now, and that woman was in fact her aunt (another Lusitania survivor). Phew. Helen lived what sounds like a normal enough life in Wales (with other relatives, not the aunt, who was the mother of those dead cousins), where she died in 1993. She was still in contact with Cowper 10 years after the Lusitania. This is them.



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Saturday, June 13, 2015

Today -100: June 13, 1915: When in Rome, or something


Germans are surprised and pleased, in their German way, at the mildness of Woodrow Wilson’s note.

William Jennings Bryan is now saying that the most recent note to Germany was watered down over the version that caused him to resign, but not watered down enough to justify him withdrawing his resignation. People have been wondering why he resigned over a letter almost identical and if anything weaker than the first one, which he did sign.

The NYT gets all Maureen Dowd on Bryan, calling his address to German-Americans “an unconscious picture of the state of a befuddled mind.”

An article in the Sunday NYT Magazine says that Italy today is using the same military strategy as Ancient Rome.


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Friday, June 12, 2015

Today -100: June 12, 1915: Why, the very thought of the Germany army resorting to cruelty and force!


Headline of the Day -100: 
21 treaties, to be precise. The recently passed Seaman’s Act gives foreign sailors in US ports the right to half-pay, exempts foreign sailors from arrest for desertion, requires that a certain percentage of sailors be skilled and a certain percentage understand the language of the captain. All these provisions violate treaties, as well as the contracts those sailors entered into abroad. One little problem: the treaties Congress plans to screw with cover much broader commercial ties, and may now be abrogated entirely by this law.

Headline of the Day -100: 
Whatever floats your boats, guys.

Actually, Social Democratic deputies present reports that German officers are ill-treating soldiers. The minister of war denies some of them, makes excuses for the rest, and asks deputies to stop talking about these things in open session because it might create the impression that “Germany army leaders had to resort to cruelty and force to drive their troops to battle”. He gets his way about the open session.

William Jennings Bryan issues a statement addressed to German-Americans, saying that it was perfectly ok if they wanted Germany to win, but criticizing their criticism of US arms sales to warring countries. Bryan says such sales are perfectly neutral even though they help only the side which is actually capable of taking advantage of it. Oh sure, the US could stop selling arms altogether as some suggest, “but it is strange that they could have overlooked” that that could hasten peace only because it would help one side. That may be the least persuasive logic I’ve ever heard, and he’s condescending about it as well, which pretty much sums up William Jennings Bryan right there. He also asks them to try to pressure Germany in favor of the US position; German-Americans will be about as happy about this as Muslims today are happy being asked to disavow every single terrorist act.


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