A robust culture of reporting things

Of all the subject lines in emails I’ve received from presidential campaigns, this has to be the most pathetic: “Biden surges past Richardson in Iowa.” He has 8% to Richardson’s 4% in a poll of likely caucus-goers. The email adds that he is “closing in on the front-runners” (Edwards, Clinton & Obama range from 23 to 27%).

Speaking of fuzzy math, the LAT notes that the US military is relying on Iraqi numbers about things like civilian deaths, enemy attacks, etc, and that those numbers... wait for it... may not be altogether accurate. Says a colonel on Petraeus’s planning staff, “The Iraqis don’t have a robust culture of reporting things.”

Late in the article there’s a mention of something I hadn’t heard before: “In October, for example, the entire command and control system used by Iraqi security forces to communicate with headquarters was shut down for two weeks when the government failed to pay the U.S. contractor that provides the satellite communications. For those two weeks, U.S. commanders and the Iraqi government received no reports from Iraqi forces in the field.”

In honor of World AIDS day (tomorrow), Bush gave yet another speech on the subject (at a Methodist church, naturally) which failed to mention gay people. Indeed, he mentioned the people who actually have HIV/AIDS only in passing, and none by name. Instead, he focused on “people who have dedicated their lives to save lives.” Especially if those people are motivated by religion, by the “universal call to love a neighbor”, the “timeless calling to heal the sick [he may have forgotten that AIDS can’t actually be healed] and comfort the lonely.” Generosity is a favorite word of Bush’s, especially when talking about American assistance to Africa, although I’m not sure such fulsome praise of one’s own “generosity” is really consistent with a generosity of spirit. People with the disease appeared in the speech only as the passive objects of that generosity. Or worse, since he implies that they got it because of their lack of proper Christian morals: “Faith-based groups... are changing behavior by changing hearts -- and they are helping to defeat this epidemic one soul at a time.” World AIDS Day, he said, is “a day we resolve to continue this work of healing and redemption.” Who is it he thinks requires redemption?

Above the fray

In re-runs of last night’s debate, CNN censored (without mentioning that they were doing it) the question posed by the gay retired brigadier general, and the candidates’ responses to it, because he has links to the Clinton campaign, which as we know invalidates both his question about gays in the military and his 43 years’ experience as a gay in the military.

Among the emails I’ve received from various Republican presidential campaigns today claiming victory in the debate is one from the Fred Thompson people, claiming he “was able to stay above the fray and out of the constant bickering between others around him.” Dozed off, did he?

Multiple caption contest

After blogging last night’s Republican debate, I’m still slowly recovering the will to live, so I’ll throw it open to you, the discerning blog reader, to caption pictures of 1) Laura Bush in a coat Nancy Reagan left behind, looking at a Christmas decoration with the sort of rapt attention George usually gives to shiny objects, 2) George and El Salvador’s President Saca, 3) Elsewhere in the Oval Office during that event, Condi and Bob Gates.

Republican debate: working in a small tight unit

Transcript (somewhat faulty), part 1, part 2.

Another YouTube debate and, oh good, the first video is a song.

Romney says Giuliani had a “sanctuary city,” except, occasionally, a Haitian would have a plunger shoved up his ass. Rudy says Twitt had a sanctuary mansion. Romney asks if he, as a home(mansion)owner, was supposed to go out and ask for the papers of any worker with a “funny accent.”


Tancredo rejects the idea that there are jobs no American will take, not even mowing Romney’s yard with a funny accent.

Huckabee, attacked for Arkansas’s merit-based college scholarships for undocumented aliens, says if he hadn’t gotten a college education, he might be picking lettuce in Mitt Romney’s yard.

Ron Paul, your weirdo followers think there’s a secret conspiracy to merge the US, Canada and Mexico, do you? Paul: heh, heh, no of course I don’t – the conspiracy isn’t a secret.


McCain takes another swipe at a program to study the DNA of bears, making a so-so joke that he doesn’t know if it’s for paternity or a criminal matter. What the hell does he have against bears? Other examples of wasteful spending he’s fought against in the Senate? Children’s health care.

Oh good, an animated Uncle Sam. Sam wants to eliminate income tax in favor of a national sales tax.

McCain says that Ron Paul, with his “isolationism,” would have allowed Hitler to come to power. In fact, McCain was in Iraq last week (I’m still waiting to see pictures of him in a helmet and flak suit), and evidently all the American soldiers stationed there gave him a message for Ron Paul: “and their message to you is... let us win.” If all 160,000 soldiers have a candidate they’re supporting, McCain was too modest to say who that might be.


Paul points out that it is not isolationism not to want to invade other countries. But he completely evades the whole Hitler thing. What were you doing while Hitler came to power, Congressman Paul, and why won’t you talk about it?

Chuck Norris is in the audience.

A guy in Manhattan Beach eats some corn and asks if the candidates would cut farm subsidies. All candidates: thanks, we’d like to win in Iowa.


Tancredo video: I am prepared to take on Hillary Clinton, or at least tiny snippets of Hillary Clinton taken out of context.

Thompson video: white lettering on black background just like Law & Order credits. Attacks Romney as a hypocrite on abortion and Huckabee as a hypocrite on taxes.

McCain video: I am also prepared to take on tiny snippets of Hillary Clinton taken out of context. Out-of-context Hillary is toast!

A guy with an assault rifle asks if anyone supports gun control. Anderson Cooper only puts the question to one of the candidates, possibly because of his name. Duncan Hunter says “from Bunker Hill to New Orleans to the rooftops of Fallujah, the right to keep and bear arms and use them effectively is an important part of America’s security.” I didn’t know the Second Amendment applied to Fallujah.

Asked what guns they own and which is their fave, Thompson says he owns several but won’t say what they are or where they are. McCain, interestingly, owns no guns.


A video made by a black father and son in Atlanta asks about black on black violence. Which Romney, racist prick that he is, blames on black children being born out of wedlock: “Well, one, about the war in the inner city -- number one is to get more moms and dads. That’s number one. And thank heavens Bill Cosby said it like it was. That’s where the root of crime starts.” Yes, thank heavens Bill Cosby gave cover for all the racist pricks.

Asked by a woman from Texas who called herself “Journey” whether women who have abortions should go to jail, everyone skirts (so to speak) the question by saying that that would be up to the states. Paul reminds us that he was an obstetrician, says in 30 years he never saw a medical need for an abortion, which suggests that some of his patients died needlessly. Thompson, while saying it’s up to the states, added that in state laws on post-viability abortion now, “It goes to the doctor performing the abortion, not the girl, or the young girl, or her parents, whoever it might be.” The questioner said nothing about the people seeking abortions being “girls” or “young girls.” Thompson, sexist prick that he is, just automatically infantilized them.

Q: “The death penalty, what would Jesus do?” Huckabee: fry ‘em, like I did as governor. Pressed, he added that Jesus was too smart to run for public office, ha ha.

Do you believe every word of the Bible is true? Giuliani: some of it’s allegorical, especially the stuff about not cheating on your wife. Romney: the Bible is the word of God. For some reason, he doesn’t mention the Book of Mormon.


Romney video: “ordinary isn’t good enough,” so go with slightly creepy.

Giuliani video: hey, I used to be mayor of New York, did you know that? Has a joke about “the city’s nemesis, King Kong.” Doesn’t mention 9/11.

Romney refuses to say if waterboarding is torture. McCain upbraids him for that, while Romney looks at him with a fixed look of slightly sour bemusement. McCain says “life is not 24 and Jack Bauer.” Life is Chloe O’Brien, however. Life is so Chloe O’Brien.

On Iraq, Thompson says “Too many people in this country are vested in a scenario of defeat. I’m vested in a scenario of victory”. 1) That language is lifted directly from Joe Lieberman. 2) Maybe Frederick of Hollywood should be avoiding words like “scenario.” He sounds like a producer who doesn’t understand why Rick can’t get the girl at the end of Casablanca.

Asked about using 9/11 excessively, Giuliani denies it.

Huckabee video: I’m Mike Huckabee, and God approves this message.

Retired Brig. Gen. Keith Kerr says he is openly gay. So why shouldn’t gays be in the military? Duncan Hunter says that most people who join the military are conservatives with Judeo-Christian values like, you know, hating queers, and they shouldn’t be forced to, and I swear to God I’m quoting, “work in a small tight unit” with gays. Gays in the military is evidently another issue Romney has flip-flopped on. McCain says don’t ask don’t tell is “working” (for whom, he does not say), and seems to say that Gen. Petraeus has told him this.


Asked about the space program, Huckabee says he’d send Hillary to Mars. Tancredo says Martians are trying to steal our jobs.

Ron Paul video: “There’s something going on in this country, and it stinks.”

The last question is about why Giuliani supported the Red Sox after the Yankees lost. Ten minutes after this thing was supposed to have ended, and they’re torturing us with a baseball question?

Command shtick

General Musharraf of Pakistan is a general no longer. He said, “I am bidding farewell to the army after having been in uniform for 46 years,” adding that it had gotten just a little bit gamey.


We’ve had many cheap laughs about the imagery of Mush taking off his uniform. Here’s another one: “Although I am taking off the uniform the army will always be in heart.”

It’s not just the uniform he’s giving up, but evidently also something called the “command stick,” which he can be seen fondling here:


That’s what we need, a command stick. Give Bush a command stick to play with and it’ll keep him out of trouble all day.

This march to war claim is pretty well created by punditry

AP has finally put out a partial transcript of its interview with Bush, some of which I dealt with in my last post.

WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? “And therefore, the first step in getting to the process we ended up on today is to - for me to have recognized that the problem is terror, and states cannot accept terror on their border, particularly democracies, nor can a state be formed because of terror.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “A moment like today just doesn’t happen. In other words, it requires work to set - to lay the groundwork for what was a successful conference. And now the hard work between Israel and the Palestinians begin.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, there has to be something more positive than that which is being - that which is on the horizon today.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “Well, it’s going to take a while for any agreement to be reached, and so I think that there is a - in other words, it’s going to take - it’s going - the negotiations between Israel and Palestine aren’t going to occur in one week. And so there’s a - there’s going to be an opportunity for expectations to be set right over time, if - for success and/or for failure.”

YOU’D THINK THAT, WOULDN’T YOU? “You would think that people would say, what a great opportunity, let’s all go promote a free society in Iraq.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “It is going to be very difficult for that Palestinian state to come into being, so long as there are terrorists who are able to exploit the - a weak government and launch attacks against their neighbors. And that’s exactly what the road map says must not happen. In other words, the implementation of the vision is subject to the road map.”

Asked what arguments he could make that would convince China to join in sanctions against Iran: “Other than they would be a major threat to peace? I think that’s pretty significant. That’s a pretty significant argument. And that’s the argument I’ve been making. In all due respect, I think this ‘march to war’ claim is pretty well created by punditry.”

Worth it to try

Riots in Paris, again. Says the secretary of the police union, “Our colleagues will not allow themselves to be fired upon indefinitely without responding.”

Here’s the thing about our perceptions of the French: no matter how francophilic you are, your immediate response to that quote was, “By surrendering?”

The Virginia Republican Party convinced the state Board of Elections to require voters in the presidential primary to sign this pledge: “I, the undersigned, pledge that I intend to support the nominee of the Republican Party for president.” That is just so wrong in so many ways. For a start, you cannot “pledge” to “intend” something. And the state has no right to require us to make any statement about what we will do in the privacy of the polling booth, to sign our name to what some people will believe is a legally binding document (because what’s the point of requiring you to sign something in an official setting that isn’t a legally binding document?). And it suggests that the basic unit of a democracy is not the individual citizen but the political party.

But at least Virginia isn’t under martial law – yet. In an interview with AP, which annoyingly hasn’t made a transcript available, George Bush said that General Musharraf “ought to lift the emergency law... It’s hard for me to envision a free and fair election under emergency law.” As opposed to the elections held in an Iraq under military occupation and civil war.

Bush also said that the quest for Israeli-Palestinian peace is “worth it to try” and that the Annapolis Conference was “the beginning of an outline of a vision.” Or possibly an outline of a vision of a beginning. Or a vision of an outline of a beginning of a dream of a sketch of the start of a... Say, George, do you think we might be past the beginning of an outline of a vision stage if you’d done anything about this, say, seven years ago? What am I saying? if George had tried to solve the Middle East problem seven years ago, the earth would be a smoldering irregular ball of charcoal now.

Now, though, he’s completely committed to making peace: “I work the phones, I listen, I encourage, I have meetings. I do a lot of things.”


“The danger,” he said, “is for the Palestinians that unless there’s a vision described, that people can aspire to, hopeful, it is conceivable that we could lose an entire generation - or a lot of a generation - to radicals and extremists.” Or they could be bombed by the Israeli Air Force, that’s also kind of a danger for the Palestinians.

(Update: more on this interview in my next post.)


Extremists and extremism, by the way, were his words for the day, appearing seven times in his statement at the Conference: “we must not cede victory to the extremists” “the extremists are seeking to impose a dark vision on the Palestinian people” “if Palestinian reformers cannot deliver on this hopeful vision, then the forces of extremism and terror will be strengthened, a generation of Palestinians could be lost to the extremists” “The day is coming when the terrorists and extremists who threaten the Israeli and Palestinian people will be marginalized and eventually defeated.” (Isn’t that two days?)


I’ve forgotten which blog had the video, maybe someone could post the link in comments, but Bush totally screwed up Abbas’s first name. I never knew “Mahmoud” had so many syllables.

Who could ask for anything more?

AP headline: “Doctors Restore Cheney’s Heart Rhythm.”

Seeing whether or not peace is possible

If Bush was insistent on meeting the Israeli and Palestinian leaders separately ahead of the Annapolis Conference, couldn’t he just once have prevented the (admittedly correct) impression of collusion by meeting Abbas rather than Olmert first? Anyway, Bush met Olmert this morning and will meet Abbas in the afternoon.


He told Olmert, “I’m looking forward to continuing our serious dialogue with you and the President of the Palestinian Authority to see whether or not peace is possible.” See, and you thought there was no point to this conference.

Let’s pull back a little, so we can see the nice Christ-Mass decorations.


For the hell of it, here’s a picture of a special prayer session against the Annapolis Conference held at the Wailing Wall.


And here’s one of Bush this morning, looking especially chimp-like.


A reminder: there’s a label for posts dating back to 1996 about Trent Lott: the man, the – for lack of a better word – hair, the legend, if you feel like reviewing his career as it comes to an end.

Reject the extreme within them

The Annapolis Conference (motto: “Lower Your Expectations... No, Lower Than That... Lower... Keep Going...”) is about to begin. George Bush has issued a statement about it: “I remain personally committed to implementing my vision of two democratic states, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace and security.” Yes, George, it’s all about you and your “vision.”

Twitt Romney says that the real problem is “broader than in that one hot spot as we help the Muslims themselves reject the extreme within them.” Why can’t they all be bland and boring (but with a slightly creepy undertone), just like Mitt?

Fred Thompson spent the post-Thanksgiving weekend shoring up his position as the gun nuts’ fave’rit candidate, going from a gun store in New Hampshire to a gun show in South Carolina to a hobo hunt in an undisclosed location. Here, a bored AP photographer takes a, so to speak, shot of the Fredster behind a row of rifles, kinda like prison bars.


New Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has announced that he will join the Kyoto Accords. Also, he plans to get to the bottom of the whole toilets-flushing-counter-clockwise thing.

But do ants really need an aphrodisiac tonic?

Reuters: “Troops and police in Shenyang, northeast China, were deployed after thousands of demonstrators demanded help to recover their savings from a get-rich-quick scheme that involved raising ants to make an aphrodisiac tonic.”

The London Times has an article about increasing corruption in Afghanistan, full of good but annoyingly anonymous quotes. “The British public would be up in arms if they knew that the district appointments in the south for which British soldiers are dying are there just to protect drug routes.” “It’s not Afghan culture. It’s a culture of impunity. We created it. We came in in 2001 with cases of cash and made certain people untouchables.” The article suggests that “The Afghan Government fears that if corrupt officials in the south were replaced by staunch law enforcers, the huge profits from heroin trafficking would end up with the Taleban.”

Humanitarian minimum

In case you were wondering, I had Chinese take-out today, commemorating the first Thanksgiving, when the Pilgrims were saved from starvation by the native Chinese with orange chicken and potstickers.

Speaking of people threatened with starvation, Israel, as it threatened, will start cutting power supplies to Gaza next month, but claims the cuts won’t “harm the humanitarian minimum to which Israel is committed.” It’s nice to know they’re committed to a humanitarian minimum.

Speaking of humanitarian minima, and of minimal humans, George Bush called several no doubt carefully screened members of the military to wish them a happy Thanksgiving, saying it was “the least I can do.” Never let it be said that George Bush doesn’t do the least he can do.

Danger Man

According to a website with a function that rates the reading level of websites, this blog’s is college level (undergrad). Daily Kos’s, just for comparison, is high school. David Brooks’s last column is junior high as, oddly enough, is Paul Krugman’s.

Time for a poll.

more at twiigs.com...

We didn’t necessarily agree with his decision

Hillary’s new ad says the Republicans are attacking her “because they know that there’s one candidate with the strength and experience to get us out of Iraq.” Er, exactly what experience does she have that would get us out of Iraq?

Speaking of experience, former sweaty White House press secretary Scott McClellan has a memoir coming out next year called “What Happened.” Which is odd, since there was never a day as press sec that he looked like he had any idea what was happening. Maybe his publisher decided to leave off the question mark.

Bush was gently interviewed by Charles Gibson of ABC. Bush talked about General Musharraf, and how wonderful and democratic and honest and just plain dreamy he is: “he’s been a loyal ally in fighting terrorists. ... so far I’ve found him to be a man of his word.”

Asked if there is a line Mush could cross that would lose him this fulsome support, Bush said, “Well, he hasn’t crossed the line. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that, uh, he will cross any lines.” You’ll notice he didn’t say where the line(s) are. Bush went on, “And he made a decision, we didn’t necessarily agree with his decision, to impose emergency rule, and I, my, hopefully he’ll get, get rid of the rule.” He’s backing away even from his weak protests of last week. He’s not demanding Musharraf lift military rule, but expresses hope that he might. Indeed, Bush doesn’t disagree with, much less denounce, the imposition of martial law, he just “didn’t necessarily agree” with it.

And he just can’t stop praising the military ruler as a Jeffersonian democrat: “I think he truly is somebody who believes in democracy.” In the way Buffy the Vampire Slayer believes in vampires. Great democrat, or the greatest democrat?: “he has done more for democracy in Pakistan than, than any modern leader has, and one of the reasons you’re seeing the blowback that you’re getting in Pakistan is because of the reforms that, that President Musharraf has put in place.” See, the massive unpopularity of and opposition to his rule is actually a sign of what a great democrat he is.

“Today I thought was a pretty good signal that he released thousands of people from jail.” You know what would have been a better signal? Not putting thousands of people in jail in the first place.

(Biden responded to the interview, “If the president sees Musharraf as a democrat, he must be wearing the same glasses he had on when he looked in Vladimir Putin’s soul.” I wonder if optometrists have an eye chart for soul-reading? “Just read the highest line you can.” “Uh, good soul, good soul, Islamofascist, good soul, that one is just black so it must be Cheney, good soul...”)

Gibson asked Bush whether presidential politics is now preventing him accomplishing anything for the remainder of his term. Bush thought “we may get some health-care reform done. But you’re right, it’s, uh, you know, and we’re not gonna raise taxes.”

Speaking of things Bush might accomplish with the remainder of his term, he claims he didn’t actually threaten to start World War III if Iran develops nuclear weapons: “I said, if you want to avoid World War III. And the reason I said that is because I take the words of their leader very seriously when, for example, he says he wants to destroy Israel. And you know, an attack on Israel, as far as I’m concerned, would draw the United States into a very serious conflagration in the Middle East. At least it would under my presidency.”

A very Chimpy Thanksgiving, 2007

The American people, their mouths (as ever) full of stuffing, have spoken: the two “national turkeys” have been named May and Flower, narrowly beating out Wish and Bone. Now I’m sorry I didn’t vote: a turkey named Bone would be awesome.

Anyway, Bush pardoned May and Flower, and reminded us of things Americans should be giving thanks for: “We’re grateful for citizens who reach out to those who struggle, and for neighbors in need -- from neighbors in need to the strangers they’ve never met.” Something about struggling and needing, anyway. And in the words of The Simpsons’ musical version of Streetcar Named Desire, “A stranger’s just a friend you haven’t met.”

We’re also grateful for people who reach out in a rather different way: “And we are grateful for one blessing in particular: the men and women of the United States military.” I’m not sure blessing is really the appropriate word here.

“Yeah, pardon this, jackass. I’m huge!”

“Bow down before your master, monkey boy!”

“I think Ruprecht there just laid an egg in his pants, if you know what I mean.”

I knew Tippecanoe, Tippecanoe was a friend of mine, and you sir...

From Reuters: “A restaurant in Manhattan that unveiled a record-breaking $25,000 dessert with edible gold last week was forced to shut its doors after an infestation of mice and cockroaches was discovered. Serendipity 3, on the Upper East Side, failed its second health inspection in a month.” Well, isn’t that... serendipitous.

The Pakistani supreme court, now purged of its non-stooge element, threw out most of the challenges to Musharraf’s election. Here’s where there’s some confusion: Monday morning, the main news outlets were saying that the reason was that the attorneys who had filed them were not present to make their case, presumably because they’d all been, you know, arrested. Something like the guy who killed his parents and asked for leniency because he was an orphan. But by the time I sat down to write about it, that bit had totally disappeared from all the stories about the decision. What happened? Did the initial stories all get it wrong and they thought no one would notice if they just quietly changed them? Annoying.

Bush had a Thanksgiving event in Berkeley Plantation, Virginia, which has a rather lame claim to be the site of the real first Thanksgiving. And, speaking of things being left out of a story, he mentioned that William Henry Harrison composed his two-hour inaugural speech there and made a little joke about not trying to one-up him. Would he have made that remark if he knew that Harrison caught a fatal case of pneumonia giving that speech in the rain?

How much ya asking for the slave?

The WIIIAI gift catalog

I’m pretty sure you’ve all been waiting for me to provide gift ideas for Christmas/Hanukkah/Flying Spaghetti Monster New Year, along with handy links whereby you might purchase said items at Amazon, which will give me a small kickback. Win-win, I say.

Bob Harris’s Who Hates Whom. Useful and humorous.

Another handy reference book, The Onion’s Our Dumb World. Very dense, very funny. However, if you buy it, you will also need a magnifying glass, as some of the print is quite tiny. Honestly, humor and eye-strain do not mix very well; I’ve been reading just a couple of pages at a time.

The first of 4 new Futurama DVDs, “Bender’s Big Score.” Release date Nov. 27.

Also available as a gag gift, although sadly without a 4% cut for me, and with a 100% cut to the forces of darkness, is the Republican Party 2008 Calendar, featuring such pictures as these:

Lies, Damned Lies, and... oops, the Bureau of Statistics was just blown up

WaPo headline: “U.S. Cites Drop In Attacks Since Buildup in Iraq; Bombs Kill 20.” Says it all, really. The article ends with a heart-warming story of American mercy, by the way.

The very best of America, the end of all claims by Palestinians, and sperm

Giuliani gave a speech about the need to reduce dependence on foreign oil. He gave it at a NASCAR race, which he said “really represents the very best of America.”

In advance of the Annapolis summit, Israel has been demanding that the Palestinians accept that Israel is a Jewish state. Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni said today that the purpose of the establishment of a Palestinian state is “an end to conflict and the end of all claims” by Palestinian citizens of Israel: “simultaneously they cannot ask for the declaration of a Palestinian state while working against the nature of the State of Israel as home unto the Jewish people.” The creation of Palestine would thus be “the national answer” for all Palestinians, including those now living in Israel.

Headline of the day, but which makes you oddly reluctant to read the actual story, from the Guardian: “Sperm Services May Face Court over Delivery of Samples.”

Oh, okay, I read the story anyway. One sentence in it: “The Guardian obtained a sample of sperm from one company, First4Fertility.” Who would fertilize themself with anonymous sperm from a company with a 4 in its name?

CONTEST I’LL PROBABLY REGRET: Can you think of an even more untrustworthy sounding name for a company selling mail-order sperm?

A divinely inspired role in the world

Giuliani at the Federalist Society: “There are some people I think nowadays that doubt that America has a special, even a divinely inspired role in the world. Now I don’t understand how you can look at history and not see the wisdom of that and the reality of it.” And America’s special, even divinely inspired role in the world in the future? “It’s this country that’s going to save a civilization from Islamic terrorism.” He didn’t say which civilization.

Since he was at the Federalist Society, he mocked Hillary Clinton for saying that driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants should be decided by each state: “This is the only time in her career that she’s ever decided anything should be decided on a state-by-state basis. You know something? She picked out absolutely the wrong one. Right? I mean this is one of the areas that is given to the federal government to deal with under our Constitution, the borders of the United States, immigration.” Actually, Rudy, the Constitution says nothing about immigration whatsoever.

He congratulated the Federalist Society for its 25th anniversary, noting that in 1982 you could fit all its members in a phone booth. It might be harder to do that now, but gosh wouldn’t it be fun to try?

Bringing up the subject of beef

Musharraf: “I take pride in the fact that, being a man in uniform, I have actually introduced the essence of democracy in Pakistan, whether anyone believes it or not.”

The Bolivian government has been accusing the American ambassador and USAID of attempting to destabilize it. The US has responded with a communication to the Bolivian ambassador demonstrating the high regard we have for the sovereignty of Bolivia. State Dept Sean McCormack summarized the statement: “The basic message is just stop it, knock it off.”

Bush met with Japanese Prime Minister Fukuda and after much hard negotiating, made an important decision: “One of the things we’ve decided to do is to continue to make sure the U.S.-Japanese relationship is the cornerstone of security and peace.”

And the cornerstone of the US-Japanese relationship? “I’m looking forward to our lunch.” Seriously, what is it with Bush, foreign leaders, and food? Saturday with Angela Merkel it was “I’m now going to go feed the Chancellor a hamburger.” Today with Fukuda, “I think we’re going to serve the Prime Minister -- I hope we serve him some good U.S. beef, which is a good way to bring up the subject of beef.”

Democratic Debate: Asbestos Pantsuits for everyone!

A debate in Las Vegas (transcript). Sadly, Wolf Blitzer did not come dressed as Elvis.

Hillary: “this pantsuit is asbestos tonight.” I just had an extremely disturbing mental flash explaining why she would need an asbestos pantsuit.

Extremely disturbing.


Hillary: “the Republicans are not going to vacate the White House voluntarily.” Cool, I recommend nerve gas. Although it may not work on Cheney.

Biden: this is not about experience, it’s not about change, it’s about action! Although he does have 35 years of experience (which is exactly the same figure Hillary throws around).

Oddly enough, Chris Dodd is also wearing an asbestos pantsuit.



Another question on which no voter will make their decision: will you support the Democratic candidate, no matter who they are? Kucinich says it depends on their war position, everyone else says yes, silently mouthing, “Unless it’s Kucinich.”

I can’t believe the big issue of the 2008 election is going to be driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants. Obama says illegal immigrants aren’t coming here to drive or go to the In-N-Out Burger. Suddenly I want a chocolate milk shake. Kucinich insists on the word undocumented instead of illegal, and tries to talk about creating a path to legalization, but Wolf refuses to let him (or anyone else) avoid the real issue, which is, of course, should they be allowed driver’s licenses, yes or no, yes or no dammit. And if so, should they be required to be organ donors? Okay, he didn’t ask that, but none of the candidates supported driver’s licenses – wait, I think Richardson did, but I don’t really feel obligated to listen when Richardson is talking, I just go to my happy place.


5:33 I just noticed Gravel isn’t here.

Starting with Pakistan, Wolf again interrupts whenever anyone tries to give a more nuanced answer, insisting they respond to his simplistic, dualistic framing of the question: which is more important, human rights or national security? Dodd, by the way, disappointed me by opting firmly for the latter. As did Clinton, but you expect it from her. Biden makes much of the fact that he spoke with both Musharraf and Bhutto, and did so before Bush. Biden’s new motto: “Vote for me, I have a telephone – with speed dial!”

I keep hearing about Biden calling Musharraf, but somehow never hear what Musharraf said to him, although I’m guessing, “Joe Who?”


Free trade agreements, and here comes Wolf with another either/or: NAFTA, good or bad? Hillary wants a “time out” on trade treaties, while they think about what they did. Obama is okay with a free trade deal with Peru because it’s a small country, but not South Korea.

Hillary is happy to be attacked by the other candidates, which she says isn’t because she is a woman, but because she is ahead. Also, she is very comfortable in the kitchen. Must be the asbestos pantsuit.

Wolf again asks the important question: is Hillary playing the gender card? For some reason, though, he only asks this of Edwards, presumably because he is the most “girly” of any of the candidates, as opposed to Wolf, who is manly and is named Wolf and has a beard.

Wolf interrupts Kucinich while he is calling for impeachment, because heaven forfend anyone be allowed to say anything interesting.

Hillary accuses Obama of wanting to raise Social Security taxes on fire fighters and school supervisors.


Biden wants to appoint to the Supreme Court someone who ran as dogcatcher. Not a joke, he says. And his first nominee will be a woman. A woman dogcatcher.

Are elections actually held for an office of dogcatcher anywhere in the country?

Kucinich will appoint aliens from that UFO he saw that time to the Supreme Court.

Someone in the audience asks Hillary if she prefers diamonds or pearls. She said it depends on who what Bill did this time.

Wherein George Bush reveals a tale of all that is nasty and unkind in Washington

Rather than watch the Democratic debate, George Bush gave a speech to the annual gala of the Federalist Society, a body which, George said, stands for the proposition that “Our written Constitution means what it says.” He is against the idea of a living Constitution, which just “means whatever these activists want it to mean. They forgot that our Constitution lives because we respect it enough to adhere to its words.” He makes having an active intellect sound so shameful. The key word there is “forgot” because Bush’s opinions aren’t opinions, they are facts, which he “reminds” people of.


He talked about the judicial confirmation process, which needs to be reformed because it “is making it more difficult to persuade decent and intelligence [sic] people to accept the call to public service.” Sic, indeed. Can’t make this shit up. He also complained that “some judgeships go unfulfilled for years.”


I don’t know if the Constitution is “living,” but the petty grievances and grudges held by conservatives will outlive us all. “And when the wife of a distinguished jurist proudly attends his hearing and is brought to tears by ugly and unfounded insinuations that her husband is secretly a bigot, we lose something.” That’s Alito’s wife he’s talking about. I’d completely forgotten that, but we’ll be hearing about it for years to come, just as some right-wingers are still seeking revenge for Bork being rejected. And he mentioned poor persecuted Clarence “Pubic Hair in My Coke” Thomas, whose “confirmation process is a tale of all that is nasty and unkind in Washington.” Anita Hill might agree.

Keep watching the skies!

Today, Bush spoke about air flight delays, and by god I’m blogging about Bush speaking about air flight delays, and some of you may even choose to read my blogging about Bush speaking about air flight delays.

“Holiday travelers faced with the prospect of long delayed and cancelled flights and lost baggage, and other problems have become all too often an occurrence,” he said, adding, “Not for me, of course, I have my own airplane. Heh heh heh.” He also added, as is his wont, an IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, there’s a lot of people that are worried about traveling because they’ve had unpleasant experiences when they’ve been flying around the country.” He went on, “And one of the reasons we have a sense of urgency about this issue is that these problems that we’ve been discussing are clear to anybody who has been traveling,” adding, “But again, not to me, because I have my own airplane, and everyone else has to just get out of its way,” further adding, “Heh heh heh.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, part of making sure people are not inconvenienced is there to be -- get transmission of sound, real-time information.”

I won’t weary you with the details of his plans to make air travel less horrific, but George’s goal is to “bring order to America’s skies.” He’s planning to have the clouds lined up by size, and get rid of that one he thought looked like Osama bin Laden.

Our allies

In Saudi Arabia, the victim of a gang rape by seven men was sentenced to 90 lashes because she had been in a car with a man who was not related to her. When she appealed the light sentences given to her attackers, their sentences were doubled, and hers was increased to 200 lashes and 6 months in prison.

In my heart, I am not a dictator

Musharraf explains: “In my heart, I am not a dictator... The day when there is no turmoil in Pakistan, I will step down.” See, and you thought he intended never to step down.

And in an interview with the NYT (MP3), he says he put Benazir Bhutto under house arrest because of threats to her by a “foreign intelligence agency.” So that’s okay, then. And he accuses her of being “confrontational” and creating “negative vibes.”

Speaking of negative vibes, an email from the Fred Thompson campaign attacks the Massachusetts health-care plan as socialized medicine at its worst. For example, did you know that small business owners will be “fined $295 per employee who isn’t enrolled in Romney’s government-mandated health care plan”? Even worse: a mere $50 co-pay for abortions.

The LAPD has dropped its plan to “reach out to the Muslim community” by drawing up a map of where they all live. The LAPD, whose racial and ethnic sensitivity is of course legendary, had not expected there to be any opposition to the mapping plan.

Bush told Fox Business that his tax cuts on the rich made the tax code more progressive.

Asked if the surge in Iraq is working, Bush said that it is, “and it’s measurable.” He also made his usual not-at-all-sexist reference to the “Iraqi mom,” who “wants to raise her child in peace, and that, if given the chance -- given what looks like a secure future -- that people will make the necessary changes to live in a -- coexist with somebody else that may be, you know, an adversary, in a peaceful way.”

Bush says Musharraf “has got Pakistan on the road to democracy” and “I do believe he understands the importance of democracy.” Also, the importance of proper vibes.

Bush, asked if he had restored a sense of dignity to the office of the presidency, said, “History is going to have to judge.” He added, “I go to work every day in the Oval Office.”

A moral right

Vladimir Putin says that the United Russia party stands for no political principles and contains many crooks. Imagine what he’d say about it if it weren’t his party. I believe the point he’s making is that the only reason anyone would vote for it is because they want Putin to continue running the country with an iron fist. So, he says, when United Russia, inevitably, wins the elections, he will have a “moral right to hold those in the Duma and the Cabinet responsible for the implementation of the objectives that have been identified so far.” He won’t say at this time exactly how he plans to exercise this moral right, “But various possibilities exist.” For example, he could make himself pope.

Last night, George Bush got into his tux for a White House event for a group called America’s Promise Alliance which runs mentoring programs. At the dinner, he sat between Colin Powell’s wife Alma and American Idol contestant Melinda Doolittle (seen in first picture), and why look, there’s Colin, back at the White House. This calls for a CAPTION CONTEST, wouldn’t you say? If it’s any help, Bush in his remarks said, “And you have helped make real the promise of our Creator -- that there is value and purpose in every single human life.”

Attention, registered non-partisan voters in California

A mailing sent by county registrars of voters in California (I received this today), which seems to have been intended to be sent only to people with permanent absentee voter status, which I’m not, wrongly states that registered non-partisans who wish to vote in the February 5th presidential primaries in the Democratic or American Independent Party (the Supreme Court decided that the political parties are private groups can choose to abide or not abide by the state’s open primaries law, although for some reason the taxpayers still foot the bill for the primary elections for these private groups) have to return the form by November 26. This is only true for absentee ballots, and I’m not even sure (after a discussion with my county registrar’s office) that it’s a hard and fast deadline for that. If you vote in person and are a registered non-partisan, you can decide on election day to request a Dem or AmInd ballot. You can also vote for presidential candidates in those or any other party if you register by January 21. And since the only office being voted on in February is president, you can change your registration again in time for the June primary. (Update: in June 2008, non-partisans can vote in the Democratic or Republican primaries.)

There will also be propositions on the February ballot. And the June ballot. And the November ballot.

(Update: in response to a question in the comments to this post, I have tried to explain our strange Californian voting ways for those who are interested. Reading the explanation is also a completely legal means of achieving a state of mind usually attainable only through the ingestion of certain illegal substances. For my next trick, I will attempt to explain Trumpington’s Variation to the rules of Mornington Crescent.)

Wise policy helps keep us resilient

George Bush fired up his taxpayer-financed airplane today and flew to Indiana for a couple of hours to have lunch and give a speech about fiscal responsibility.

His word of the day: resilient. As in, “we’re a resilient economy.”

How resilient? “Just a few weeks after the terrorist attacks of September the 11th, 2001, our economy was growing. Think about that. After the worst attack on American soil, where nearly 3,000 of our citizens died, this economy recovered. That’s a resilient economy.” And what do we need to maintain this resiliosity? More terrorist attacks? Evidently not. “Wise policy helps keep us resilient; lousy policy will hurt the ability for this economy to grow.” To recap: wise policy is wise, lousy policy is lousy.


AND IN THE TIME MY SPEECHWRITERS SPENT PLAYING WITH THEIR CALCULATORS...: “Over five years, their proposed spending spree adds up to an extra $205 billion. Put another way, that’s about $1,300 in higher spending every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every year for the next five years. Think about what it means for you. If you’re driving a half hour to visit your grandparents, Congress would have spent an extra $2.3 million. If you attend church for an hour, Congress will tally another $4.7 million. If you watch a football game, Congress would rack up $14 million -- unless, of course, it goes into overtime.” So, as I understand it, we could balance the budget if we just stopped visiting our grandparents, attending church and watching football games.


WHAT WE NEED AND WHAT WE DON’T NEED: “We don’t need members of Congress telling our military commanders what to do. We need our military commanders telling us what to do so we can win the war against these extremists and radicals.” Civilian rule is for sissies; just ask Gen. Musharraf.

MAKING ADVICE: “If you’ve got somebody in harm’s way, you want the President being -- making advice, not -- be given advice by the military, and not making decisions based upon the latest Gallup poll or focus group.”

A SPECIAL GUEST IN OTHER WORDS: “And here’s what [Deputy Secretary of Defense Gordon England] wrote: He said delaying could have this kind of quote -- in other words, what Congress is trying to do -- some in Congress are trying to delay spending this money. ... And here’s what the Deputy Secretary said. He said, it would have ‘a profoundly negative impact on the defense civilian workforce, depot maintenance, base operations, and training activities.’ In other words, there’s a consequence for not funding this money.”

“Congress’s responsibility is clear: It should not go home for the Christmas holidays without giving our troops on the front line the funds they need to succeed.” And maybe an iPod. By the way, how many “Christmas holidays” are there?

Then he returned to the White House and, um, he, um... CAPTION CONTEST!

Not aware of any civilians in the area

In the court martial of an Army sniper – the case in which it came out that there’s something called an Asymmetrical Warfare Group that comes up with brilliant ideas like planting fuses and suchlike and then shooting anyone who picks them up – Staff Sgt Michael Hensley, a member of a sniper team called the Painted Demons, was acquitted on 3 counts of premeditated murder in Iraq but convicted of planting an AK-47 on the corpse of one of the people he shot. And of disrespecting a superior officer. He was sentenced to time served.

Today, US forces in Afghanistan killed 15 men they claimed were militants, plus a woman and two children. With a single grenade, I might add. Military spokesmodel Chris Belcher said, “When militants knowingly engage coalition forces with innocent people in the background, it only shows the extremists’ complete disregard for innocent lives.” Which might be a better excuse if the “engagement” was not, in fact, an American raid. Belcher continued, “on this operation we were not aware of any civilians in the area.” So that’s okay, then.

Tom Tancredo ad. Because some xenophobic dickhead needs to say it:

A course that could lead back to a path of democracy

On ABC this morning, Condi continued to oh so gently scold Musharraf. Actually, scold is far too strong a word. She prefers “counsel” and “encourage.” “Obviously, we are also encouraging that the state of emergency has got to be lifted and lifted as soon as possible.” As soon as possible? That phrase suggests that there is some reason why it is not possible right now, this very instant, and there is no such reason.

George Stephanopoulos pointed out to her that if and when Musharraf is sworn in again as president (he may be delaying this in order not to have to fulfill his promise to step down as army chief), it will be by a purged and supine Supreme Court (insert obligatory Bush v. Gore reference here). Condi responded, “George, this is not a perfect situation.” Oh dear, that puts us in our place for wanting utopia and the rule of, you know, law.

Pakistan, she continues, “is a country that has come a long way from 1999 and the military coup.” Who was behind that coup again, Condi? The “long way” Pakistan has come from the coup of 1999 to the coup of 2007 shows that “the road to democratic development is not smooth and even. ... But if the suggestion is that we somehow now abandon a course that could lead back to a path of democracy for Pakistan, I think that would be mistaken at this point.” Not actual democracy, of course, asking for that would be more of that airy-fairy, head-in-the-clouds perfectionism that adults like Condi are too pragmatic to deal in, but “a path of democracy,” or to be more specific a “course” that “could” lead to “a path of democracy” (Never ask Condi for directions; she’s all “turn left at the tree with the funny branch” and “go right at the empty lot where the Arbie’s used to be”). Because it’s all about the path, the journey, you see, not the destination; it’s very Zen, really, if arbitrary arrests, censorship and abrogation of the rule of law are Zen. And if you kids keep kicking the back of the seat, Gen. Musharraf is going to turn this car right around!

By the way, 3 British reporters were expelled from Pakistan because of an editorial in the Daily Telegraph about the coup which included an expletive – click here to find out which expletive – if you dare! (Second paragraph, first sentence, last word.) Musharraf wants an apology because the word “infringed norms of behaviour.” Mush is very big on the norms of behavior.

The discussion on This Week turned to whether Bush now has the authority to go to war with Iran. Condi: “Look, George, I’m not going to get into a constitutional argument about the President’s authorities. That stands on its own: the President’s authority to use whatever means he needs to use in order to secure the country.” Which of course is exactly what Musharraf claims justifies his seizure of near-absolute power. Funny, that.

I felt I was pretty multilateral

George Bush the Elder, 83 years old, made a spectacular entrance today at the re-dedication of his presidential museum, being sodomized in free fall in mid-air high above College Station, Texas, before the chute opened, if you know what I mean.


Meanwhile, his son was hosting German Chancellor Angela Merkel at his Crawford ranch, now that they’ve gotten that Sarkozy smell out. Today they held a joint press conference, photographed here by the AP in the style of a Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom cameraman sneaking up on a couple of gazelles.


At one point, Bush used the only word of German he knows, “Jawohl,” to put her at her ease.

He said that they had “meaningful, strategic discussions.” For example, “The Chancellor and I had a series of discussions on important subjects, starting with a dinner we had last night.” It is unclear if he meant that he had a discussion at dinner, or a discussion about dinner, especially, as we shall see, given how he ended the presser.

He said, “We discussed Iran and our deep desire to solve this important issue diplomatically.” Iran is not an “issue,” it’s a country. Iran is not yet one of those place-names that stand for something else, like Hiroshima, Columbine, Vietnam, or Intercourse, Pennsylvania.


He explained that General Musharraf is an entirely trustworthy fellow: “I take a person for his word until otherwise.” And Mush has indeed given his word, which has always meant so much in the past: “I do want to remind you that he has declared that he’ll take off his uniform, and he has declared there will be elections, which are positive steps.” Naked elections are your answer for everything, aren’t they?


Bush thinks he has detected the source of the problem: “We also believe that suspension of the emergency decree will make it easier for the democracy to flourish.” Ya think?

He explained why “the democracy” in Pakistan isn’t a big deal: “I vowed to the American people we’d keep the pressure on [Al Qaida]. I fully understand we need cooperation to do so, and one country that we need cooperation from is Pakistan. That cooperation has been made easier by the fact that al Qaeda has tried to kill leaders in Pakistan several times.”

Indeed, he thinks the only thing Pakistanis care about is fightin’ Al Qaida: “He [Musharraf] fully understands the dangers of al Qaeda. Benazir Bhutto fully understands the dangers of al Qaeda. By far, the vast majority of people in Pakistan... understand the dangers of al Qaeda.” “And so I believe that we will continue to have good collaboration with the leadership in Pakistan.” Collaboration. What a fine choice of word.

A reporter asked Bush if he is behaving less unilaterally in foreign policy these days: “I felt I was pretty multilateral the first four years of my administration.” I do not think that word means what George thinks it means.

He explained why you may want to pass up that Craigslist job posting: “I want to remind you that if you’re the chief operating officer of al Qaeda, you haven’t had a good experience.” I mean, double-entry bookkeeping is just a joke to those people.

As is always the case when George and Angela get together, things turned a little creepy. And as always, Bush gets in the last word:

PRESIDENT BUSH: I’m now going to go feed the Chancellor a hamburger. (Laughter.) Right here, Crawford, Texas. No, well, I mean back over there. Thank you all.

CHANCELLOR MERKEL: Obviously, for me, as a person who originally came from Hamburg --

PRESIDENT BUSH: Yes.

CHANCELLOR MERKEL: -- it’s even more important.

PRESIDENT BUSH: Hamburger.

God for Harry, England and a packet of crisps

Interesting analysis by the BBC’s Mohammed Hanif of Musharraf’s meandering televised speech last week.

The London Times op-ed editor asks for a new motto for Britain, in six words or less. Some of the replies so far (there are serious ones too, but sod that for a packet of crisps) (I think I just inadvertently coined my own entry):

• “Sorry, is this the queue?”
• “Full service will soon resume.”
• “Yeah, but no, but, yeah.”
• “No, please, after you, honestly.”
• “That’s really most awfully kind.”
• “At least we’re not French.”
• “At least we’re not American.”
• “Americans who missed the boat.”
• “Yer’ve got to larf, aintcha?”
• “Hanging on in quiet desperation.”
• “Britain: it sucks a bit.”
• “Once mighty empire, slightly used.”
• “Mind the gap.”
• “Is Princess Di still dead?”
• “Bond. James Bond.”
• “Fancy a cup of tea?”
• “Come for the Weather, Stay for the Dentistry (and the cooking).”
• “Lie back and think of England.”
• “The game is afoot, Watson!”
• “Don’t mention the war.”
• “I have a cunning plan.”

The last 4 I just made up.

Update: checking back a day later, I find only one new one worth mentioning: “An island in a teacup.”
And I have two more of my own:

“Mrs Peel – we’re needed.”
“Ying tong iddle i po.”

Meta-ish

This humble blog hasn’t been noticed by the right-wing of the blogosphere in a long time, but my post Thursday with all the pictures of Bush and the wounded soldiers has been, and gosh they don’t much like it. We can talk about them here without fear of discovery, by the way, because I notice that when they click over from, say, Jules Crittenden’s blog, not one of them reads anything besides the linked post (zero out of 66 so far), such is their intellectual curiosity. And yet, as is indicated by their comments on that post and in other right-wing blogs, chat groups and whatnot, they think they know from that single post, which mostly consisted of pictures, everything there is to know about me – not just that I’m a sick seditious bastard, a hate-filled moron with no honor who should leave the country, etcetera, but also that I personally know no one in the military, have never met a wounded veteran, am mocking the injured soldiers, and wouldn’t recognize the “You can’t handle the truth” speech from A Few Good Men.

They also insist that Bush really does care. In a previous visit to the same facility in January 2006, Bush happily joked about how he had injuries of his own, a minor scratch on his forehead sustained “in combat with a Cedar.”


The post I wrote at the time would have been a lot angrier, but I only learned later that he had just come from the amputee ward.

In the zone

A Beijing restaurant with an old-style-communist theme (wait staff in People’s Liberation Army uniforms etc) has been ordered by the local commerce bureau to remove a sign saying “liberation zone” pointing to the bathrooms. The bureau called the sign a “malicious satire detrimental to culture.”

By a curious coincidence, I’ve always thought of this blog as both a liberation zone and a malicious satire detrimental to culture. Does that mean this blog is also a bathroom sign?

Unafraid to make moral judgements about the world beyond our borders

Benazir Bhutto is being held under house arrest, but only “for her own security.” So that’s okay, then. (Update: she’s been released.)

Holy Joe Lieberman waxes nostalgic: “The Democratic party I grew up in was unafraid to make moral judgements about the world beyond our borders.” Good times, good times. Democrats today, however, “are viscerally opposed to the use of force – the polar opposite to the self-confident and idealistic nationalism of the party I grew up in.” So idealistic nationalism = the use of force. And how is that different from jingoistic thuggery?

The White House is having its annual Thanksgiving contest, in which the two turkeys to be spared the ax are named by the great American public. The choices offered by the White House this year are less creative than ever: Wing & Prayer, May & Flower, Gobbler & Rafter (Rafter?) (evidently a flock of turkeys is called a rafter), Wish & Bone, Truman & Sixty (the pardon-the-turkey thing was initiated by Truman 60 years ago, when I believe the turkeys were named Hiroshima & Nagasaki), or Jake & Tom. Surely we can do better. I declare this a CONTEST and open with my own entry: Water & Board.

Wherein is revealed the candidate who brings Americans together from all walks of life

Job change of the day: the British minister for defense equipment and support Paul Drayson, 47 (that’s Lord Drayson to the likes of you), resigned in order to compete in the 24 Hours of Le Mans race.

Headline of the day: “Man Punches Trick-or-Treat Boy, 8.” Well, to be fair, that does pretty much constitute a trick, now doesn’t it?

An email from the Giuliani campaign says that “[Pat] Robertson’s endorsement shows that Rudy is the candidate who brings Americans together from all walks of life”. Really? How does it show that? And doesn’t Robertson think that Americans from all walks of life, except the precise one he dictates, are going to hell?

Why is this man smiling? (Updated)

Just yesterday, Bush said (two posts back), “I’ve committed our troops into harm’s way twice, and it’s not a pleasant experience because I understand the consequences firsthand.” Today he went to an army medical facility and met some people who actually do understand the consequences of his decisions firsthand. Warning: graphic pictures of the consequences of Bush’s decisions.












Update: the White House website has five pictures of the visit. One is similar to my second picture above, one is just Bush giving his prepared remarks, and the remaining three are these rather tame pics:




Update to the update: it seems that Bush also played virtual reality games with the recovering soldiers, including a shoot-em-up set in Baghdad. See? He really does appreciate the consequences of war firsthand.

Bush meets Sarkozy: Which basically said, we want to help you survive

Bush was also interviewed by French television.

Asked if Franco-American relations have been changed by Sarkozy replacing Chirac, he explained very carefully, and with OTHER WORDS, that despite both of them being, you know, French and shit, they’re actually different people: “In the sense that every individual matters. In other words, I’ve dealt with a lot of foreign leaders, and some -- and each person brings their own set of personalities and values.” Thank you for that deep psychological insight into the human condition, George.

Sarkozy, he said, is “like me, he wants to solve problems: Here is a problem; let’s go solve it.”

“And I can’t thank President Sarkozy enough for sending the foreign minister to Baghdad, which basically said, we want to help you survive.”

Asked about the imminence of war with Iran: “I don’t know where you’re getting all these rumors -- there must be some weird things going on in Europe these days”. In Europe? Mais non!

But what happens, he is asked, “if the sanctions and the threats do not work”. “I’m not so sure I agree with your hypothesis, that ‘if they don’t work.’ I’m the kind of guy that says, let’s make sure they do work.”

Asked if removing the counter-weight of a strong Iraq didn’t vastly increase Iran’s power, he took a deep hit off his crack-pipe and said, “I think that, ultimately, they’re going to feel pressure about the type of government they have when their people look across the border and see a flourishing, free society.”

Later in the day, he held a press conference with Sarkozy.

He said that he’d finally talked to Musharraf. “And my message was that we believe strongly in elections, and that you ought to have elections soon, and you need to take off your uniform.” As Eli of LeftI points out, he evidently didn’t suggest that Musharraf end martial law, restore the Constitution, the Supreme Court, freedom of the press, release political prisoners, etc etc. Just the naked elections.

Asked by a French reporter about the Iraqi quagmire, Bush once again pulled out his trusty crack-pipe, inhaled deeply, and replied, “I don’t -- you know, ‘quagmire’ is an interesting word.” Adding, “and have you ever looked at your hands, I mean really looked at them?” Okay, what he really said, which is significantly more batshit out-of-his-head-loco, was, “If you lived in Iraq and had lived under a tyranny, you’d be saying, god, I love freedom -- because that’s what’s happened.”

He denied that his threats against Iran are responsible for the price of oil, insisting, “I believe oil prices are going up because the demand for oil outstrips the supply for oil.” He’s an MBA, you know.

Addressing the Iranians, he explained that he was just looking for someone to talk to who isn’t, you know, crazy: “we will work together to try to find if there’s not rational people inside your government who are tired of isolation and who believe there’s a better way forward.”

MAYBE A LITTLE TOO COMFORTABLE: “And so when you ask, am I comfortable with the Sarkozy government sending messages -- you bet I’m comfortable.”

What message is Sarkozy sending here?

Wherein George Bush reveals the lesson of Iraq

Friday, you’ll remember, Dick Cheney referred to Hugo Chavez as leading Peru. Chavez responds that this shows that the US is run by “a bunch of ignorant fools.” And your point is?

French President Sarkozy addresses the US Congress, says, “We love America,” mutters under his breath, “It’s just the damned Americans we detest.”

Bush was interviewed by German television today.

They ask if the “nuclear threat” posed by Iran now, with its complete lack of nuclear weapons, is greater or less than the threat Iraq, with its complete lack of weapons of mass destructed, posed 6 years ago. Bush responded with his characteristic command of verb tenses: “I think they were both dangerous. I think both of them could have been solved diplomatically. ... And I think they’re both dangerous. And I think therefore the lesson of Iraq is that we can work together and solve questions peacefully now.” See, and you didn’t think he’d learned the lesson of Iraq.

“And hopefully we can and hopefully we can keep pressure on the Iranians to say, one, we respect your people; two, we respect your history; but your government is making decisions that are isolating your country.” We can keep pressure on them by respecting their people and history?

Was he serious about the World War III line? “Oh, absolutely serious. I said, if you want to avoid World War III. I didn’t say I’m for World War III.” You didn’t have to say it. “If you want to see World War III, you know, a way to do that is to attack Israel with a nuclear weapon.” How many nuclear weapons would you recommend?

“In other words, I -- I’ve committed our troops into harm’s way twice, and it’s not a pleasant experience because I understand the consequences firsthand.” Well okay, secondhand. Okay, thirdhand... “And so I owe it to the American people to say that I’ve tried to solve this problem diplomatically.” Yes, saying that is the very least you can do.

On Putin: “My hope, of course, is I’ve tried to work with him as best as I can...” As best as you can, that’s the problem. “...to understand the checks and balances. And democracy requires a certain balance in society. And I would hope that he would make decisions that enhanced institutional reform, enhanced the institutions necessary for a free society. As I say, sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn’t.” Note that by “listens,” he means “does what I tell him to do.” It’s a truly arrogant choice of word.

He is fascinated by the differences between Germany and America. Did you know they speak German instead of American over there? “[T]hat’s an interesting difference between, say, Germany and America. We’ve been attacked. We feel like another attack is coming”. The interviewer reminded him that Germans had some concept of what the fear of being attacked is like, with the Cold War and the Iron Curtain and all.

Asked what his legacy will be: “And that I helped this country protect itself, and at the same time was unashamed, unabashed at spreading certain values to others -- the main one being liberty, whether it be the freedom from forms of government or the freedom from disease and hunger.” Freedom from forms of government? I knew he was secretly an anarchist, I knew it.

And maybe a book of Mormon too

Campaigning at a Christian adoption agency across the street from Bob Jones University, Mitt Romney said he wants to require clinics to provide information on adoption to women who are there for abortions, whether they want it or not. He also wants to require all adoption agencies to offer information on abortions.

Just kidding.

Eating product

Today Bush held a White House Forum on International Trade and Investment. I won’t leave you in suspense: he’s in favor of it. “We want people eating product grown here in the United States of America. That’s what we want.” I wish he wouldn’t speak so appetizingly; I have to skip product lunch today.

UNDERSTAND? “As I understand it, you understand how trade benefits this nation. ... You understand what I understand: Free and fair trade means higher paying jobs for American workers.”

HE’S THE UNDERSTANDER: “When a job goes overseas, some family hurts in America, and I understand that.”


He pushed for passage of various trade agreements. And remember, Congress, if you’re not with us, you’re with the false populists: “Champions of false populism in the region are watching Congress -- they will use any failure to approve these trade agreements as evidence that America will never treat democracies in the region as full partners.” (If it’s not clear, Hugo Chavez is the “false populist.”)

HE’S GOT AN MBA, YOU KNOW: “And when people compete for the dollar, it means somebody is going to get a better price.”

Take into account their society and where they live

Last month I mentioned a lawsuit by some workers on a Dole banana plantation in Nicaragua sterilized by a Dow Chemical pesticide (which it seems Dow tried to pull from the market because of its dangerousness, but Dole threatened to sue Dow for breach of contract). Six of the workers won their case in a Los Angeles court. They’ve been awarded an initial $3.2 million, with more to come if the jury believes that Dole acted maliciously when it, for example, decided that informing workers about the pesticide in their own language was “not operationally feasible and does not need to be implemented.” A lawyer for Dow tried to tell the jurors (before the judge stopped him) that Nicaraguans deserve lower compensation for sterilization because they are of less value than members of other nationalities, suggesting the jurors “take into account their society and where they live,” assessing damages “in the context of their world and their society.”

Speaking of agribusiness, here is another convincing, to me at least, George Monbiot article on how “Biofuels could kill more people than the Iraq war.”

So there was no Daily Show tonight because the writers are striking against not being paid when the news satire they write is accessed on new media like a computer screen, just as if they were lowly, lowly bloggers.

We would hope he wouldn’t have declared the emergency powers he declared

Today Bush met with Turkish Prime Minister Tayyip Erdogan.

Bush’s word of the day was “people”: “In order to chase down people [PKK] who murder people [non-PKK, I assume] you need good intelligence.” “people [PKK] who are using murder as a weapon to achieve political objectives”. “he has constantly talked to my government about seeing if we can’t work together to get these people [Turkish soldiers captured by the PKK] released. And the point I bring up is that there is at least one effective measure for people in Turkey [I believe “Turks” is the word you’re looking for, George] to see that when we work together we can accomplish important objectives.” “We need to know where people [PKK, the hidden ones] are hiding.” “I’ve assured the Prime Minister that we’re working very carefully and closely with people in the Kurdish part of Iraq [Kurds?] to help deal with the movement of these people [PKK, the moving ones]”.

Bush also made good use of the word hypothetical to avoid answering questions. How would he react to a Turkish incursion into Iraq? “I don’t like to answer hypothetical questions.” And if Musharraf refuses to do what Bush asks (but not in person; Bush still hasn’t talked to Mush), will he cut US aid to Pakistan? “Once again, it’s a hypothetical question.”

Why does he so hate to talk hypothetically? He’s just not very good with verb tenses. “Previous to his decision we made it clear that these emergency measures were -- would undermine democracy.” “As I said earlier in my statement, that we made it clear to the President that we would hope he wouldn’t have declared the emergency powers he declared.” Phfew.


Y’ALL HURRY BACK NOW: “Now that he’s made that decision, I hope now that he hurry back to elections.” As I said, not so good with the verb tenses.

He does offer one great prospect for the Pakistani people: naked elections: “we expect there to be elections as soon as possible, and that the President should remove his military uniform.”

Here’s as close as he came to answering the question about cutting aid to Pakistan: “I certainly hope he does take my advice... And so that’s -- all we can do is continue to work with the President, as well as others in the Pak government, to make it abundantly clear the position of the United States. And then obviously we’ll deal with it if something other than that happens.”

Much of the talk with Erdogan was of course about the PKK. Bush repeatedly talked about the need to share intelligence, which... oh, insert your own joke here, it’s just too easy.

Erdogan doubtless recognized all this intel joke as a stall. “But what we did talk about is to make sure that there is good enough intelligence so that we can help deal with a common problem... And we need to know, in any of these actions, who they are and where they are, in order to make any strategy effective. And therefore, step one is to make sure that our intelligence-sharing is good. The problem oftentimes is that faulty intelligence means that we can’t solve the problem.” So what do we need, oh pointy-haired Dilbert boss? “Good, sound intelligence delivered on a real-time basis, using modern technology”.

NO, REALLY, HIS ACTUAL JOB TITLE IS “NUMBER MAN”: “I have set up a tripartite arrangement, for his number two man in the military to stay in touch with our number man and General Petraeus.”

He also discussed with Erdogan some of the other issues there am between the US and Turkey: “We understand there’s transit issues in airports; we understand that there is issues with money.”

They have to be dealt with

Pakistan’s irony information minister, justifying the crackdown on anti-coup protesters: “If people take the law into their [own] hands, obviously, they have to be dealt with”.


Actually, a minister of irony would be a great idea.

Of truffles, waterboarding and the dastardly Pakistani military

My favorite new crime: highway truffle robbery. Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, riding through the land...

Arlen Specter will also vote for Mukasey. No surprise there, huh? Says Mukasey assured him privately that if there were a law against waterboarding, Bush would have to abide by it. So clearly that law should be passed – and signed into law – before the confirmation process goes any further.

State Dept Legal Advisor John Bellinger also refuses to rule out waterboarding. Indeed, it’s okay by him if foreign secret services use it on Americans.

Pakistan’s military has usually defended its coups as necessary to fight corruption or chaos or corruption of their precious bodily fluids or whatever, but Mush’s latest coup is clearly about nothing other than his own personal grip on power. The reputation of the military cannot but suffer from being associated with it. Yet I haven’t heard of any dissent at all within the military’s ranks, any reluctance to follow Musharraf’s orders.

By the way, I’ve created a new label for posts about Musharraf, dating back to 1999. Somewhere along the way, the usual spelling of his name gained an R.

Condi and the action that was taken (updated)

Condi speaks to the press again. It’s kind of fun just for the awkward verbal contortions.

For example, she hasn’t decided exactly what to call that thing Musharraf did – coup? martial law? – so she does as generic as she can, “the action that was taken”: “we don’t support the action that was taken because it was extra-constitutional”. Literally: Musharraf issued an entirely new constitution, an “extra” constitution if you will, and then fired the seven Supreme Court justices who refused to ratify it.

She repeatedly refers to a “democratic path” or a “constitutional path,” which is a way of suggesting that something democratic has been occurring in Pakistan while ignoring the absence of any actual, you know, democracy, and of obscuring the fact that any political processes, far from being democratic, have been entirely the result of the will of Pakistan’s military ruler. She is wistful about her illusions: “Because if you get back on a constitutional path, then you can imagine the continued process towards elections, and so, that’s what we’ve been concentrating on.” All she wants is just to be able to imagine continued progress towards phantasmagorical elections.

But of course none of this will affect American support of the Musharraf regime because of our alliterative “continuing counterterrorism concerns.” Indeed, she can’t picture anyone in the US not likewise prioritizing those c.c.c.’s over democracy or the human rights of Pakistanis: “But I would be very surprised if anyone wants the President to ignore or set aside our concerns about terrorism and protecting the American people.”

Here is the key cowardly quote (if I too may alliterate), in which Condi cannot bring herself to criticize Mush personally for his actions:

Q: Are you disappointed in him?

RICE: I’m disappointed at this decision, sure.

(Update: just to show her language was not casually chosen, she repeated it in a Fox interview:

Q: Do we still support President Musharraf?

RICE: Well, clearly, we don’t support the actions he has taken. ...


Q: But you can’t say whether we still support Musharraf at this point?

RICE: Well, I don’t want to personalize this. This is about an action that has been taken. And the action is not supportable.

Not personalize this? Isn’t a coup by a military ruler just a little bit, you know, personal?)

No (inaudible) kidding

For some reason, the quality of transcripts on the State Dept website is often suckier than those on other government sites, and yet, somehow, that very suckiness reveals deeper truths, as in today’s press briefing by Condi and Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni:

Condi: And I look forward to working to try to advance (inaudible) bilaterally with the Palestinians

Condi: I just want to repeat that the United States does not support a (inaudible) Pakistani leadership prior to the faction, that it would not support extra (inaudible).

Coup in Pakistan

Gen. Musharraf of Pakistan has once again suspended the constitution, arrested his opponents (except for Benazir Bhutto, who made a triumphal return to Pakistan after years of exile a few days ago and then, evidently, just left again; she is now supposedly on her way back), fired (and arrested) most of the Supreme Court, shut down opposition radio & tv stations, telephones, etc etc. But he did it in order to “preserve the democratic transition I initiated 8 years ago.” So that’s all right, then.

(Pardon the paucity of links, by the way; I’m cutting & pasting from all over. My favorite headline, though, from the Times of India: “Mush Blames Terror, Judiciary for Emergency.”)

“Pakistan is on the verge of destabilization!” he warned. Which makes the interesting assumption that a coup is the opposite of destabilization.

He said that “Pakistan’s sovereignty is in danger unless timely action is taken.” Which makes the interesting assumption etcetera.

He said he literally had no other choice. “Inaction at this moment is suicide for Pakistan and I cannot allow this country to commit suicide.”

He said he’s like Lincoln, who “usurped rights to preserve the union.” Yes, he’s just like Abraham Lincoln.

The last 3½ minutes of his 45-minute televised address were in English:



He asked for patience from the international community because “we are learning democracy.”

Mush discussed this step with his advisors on Wednesday, according to the WaPo, so the US knew in advance, since some of those advisors are certainly on the CIA payroll and the NSA listens to their phone conversations.

But Condi refused to say whether Musharraf (with whom she’s spoken several times this week) had warned her he’d be doing this, although it’s pretty clear that he did, which makes the US complicit. She said, “I’m not going to characterize how the conversations went, but we were clear that we did not support it. We were clear that we didn’t support it because it would take Pakistan away from a path of civilian rule, the democratic path -- by the way, a path that President Musharraf himself has done a lot to prepare [Ed.: hah!], and that it was absolutely essential that those elections be held.” In other words, if he holds Potemkin parliamentary elections, we’ll pretend they’re democratic, which they cannot be under these circumstances. Condi says she had told him in one of those conversations, “even if something happens, that we would expect the democratic elections to take place.” Coup + elections = good enough for us.

Indeed, this entire crisis came about because Musharraf insisted on running for president without giving up his position as army chief, in violation of the Constitution, as the Supreme Court was about to rule (Mush accused it of “creating hurdles for democracy”). The source of his authority lies solely in his monopoly of military power, not from the vaguely democratic-appearing processes he cobbled together to give him the title of president.

Condi also warned the Pakistani people not to resist the coup, or at least that’s how I interpret this sentence, in a CNN interview: “There really should not be violence, there should not be activity that will disturb calm, because it’s a difficult time for Pakistan.”

Pentagon spokesmodel Geoff Morrell says that “At this point, the declaration does not impact our military support for Pakistan’s efforts in the war on terror,” adding that Pakistan is “a very important ally in the war on terror”.

Bush has said nothing in public, either before the coup or since, and if he’s talked to Musharraf in the last few days, as Condi has done several times (and Adm. Fallon of CentCom met with him in person Friday), no one is mentioning the fact. Funny, that.

Not Gonzo

In his weekly radio address, Bush demanded the confirmation of Mukasey, which is evidently important in “this time of war,” a phrase he used three times. He repeated the Mukasey Catch 22, saying the Senate shouldn’t make his confirmation conditional on his expressing an opinion on waterboarding because he can’t be briefed on waterboarding unless he’s confirmed because... er, why can’t he be briefed unless he’s confirmed?

Bush says that Mukasey has been “praised by Republicans and Democrats alike for his honesty, intellect, fairness, and independence.”

One of those Republocrats, Dianne Feinstein, did so in the LAT today, carefully explaining the reason she will vote to confirm him: “Judge Mukasey is not Alberto R. Gonzales.” Okay, I could make fun of that sentence all day, that would be setting my bar as low as she has set hers, and that will not do.

She also hangs her hat on Mukasey’s “personal repugnance” for waterboarding, which is completely irrelevant. He may feel personal repugnance for abortions, as Gonzales and Ashcroft certainly did, but his job is to enforce the, you know, law.

She goes on: “I believe that Judge Mukasey is the best nominee we are going to get from this administration...” Say what you will about Bush’s entitled stubbornness, but with supine senators like DiFi, it works. “...and that voting him down would only perpetuate acting and recess appointments, allowing the White House to avoid the transparency that confirmation hearings provide...” For example the confirmation hearings at which Mukasey refused to say whether waterboarding is illegal? “...and to diminish effective oversight by Congress.” I assume that’s a joke of some sort.

Our purposes in this world are good and right

Bush went to South Carolina today to give a speech at the Basic Combat Training Graduation Ceremony at Fort Jackson. He was met at the airport by 1st Lt. Andrew Kinard, who just returned to SC himself after nearly a year in the hospital.


Bush does not seem to have invited Lt. Kinard to come along with him to Fort Jackson. Funny, that.

Bush had a good reason to go to Fort Jackson. “I’m pleased to be here with you and to have a chance to say: ‘Hoo-ah!’” It was the most sensible thing he said.


IN OTHER OSAMA BIN LADEN WORDS: “Osama bin Laden -- who has to hide in caves because the United States is on his tail understands, has said publicly that al Qaeda’s recent setbacks are mistakes -- the result of mistakes that al Qaeda has made. In other words, he recognizes the inevitable -- that the United States of America and those who long for peace in Iraq, the Iraqi citizens, will not tolerate thugs and killers in their midst.”


Bush has irrefutable proof that we are winning in Iraq: “Here’s what this progress means to one shopkeeper in the former al Qaeda stronghold of Arab Jabour. He’s a local butcher. He says that as recently as June, he was selling only one or two sheep per week. Now, the terrorists cleaned out and residents returning home, he’s selling one or two sheep per day.” Wow! This war has been totally worth it!


GEORGE KNOWS WHAT’S IN OUR INTEREST: “It’s in our interest we deny safe haven to killers who at one time killed us in America.”


Dick Cheney was also out and about today, giving a speech to the World Affairs Council of Dallas/Fort Worth. He quoted that John Nance Garner line about the vice presidency not being worth a bucket of warm spit, but said “I guess they didn’t have Air Force Two back then.” What’s he saying? The vice presidency isn’t worth an Air Force Two of warm spit? Air Force Two is one giant spittoon? I don’t get it.

He praised the American Imperium: “As much as a nation of influence, we are a nation of character. And that sets us apart from so many of the great powers of history -- from ancient empires to the expansionist regimes of the last century. We’re a superpower that has moral commitments and ideals that we not only proclaim, but act upon. Our purposes in this world are good and right.” Right, we’re nothing like any of the previous empires, none of which ever said exactly the same things about themselves.

Asked whether American interest in the Middle East had anything to do with oil, he said the fact that we invaded Afghanistan, which has no oil, proves that we didn’t go into the Middle East because of oil. Quod erat demonstrandum.


He later denied the possibility or value of the US becoming energy-independent, saying, “it would be, I think, unreasonable to expect that we would not be integrated with the rest of the world’s economy where energy is consumed.” “Integrated.” Such a nice word for it.

Asked a question about Hugo Chavez of Venezuela (which is how the questioner phrased it), he said, “My own personal view is that he does not represent the future of Latin America, and the people of Peru I think deserve better in their leadership.” Don’t we all. Don’t we all.

The United States has another enemy! Yay!

Condoleezza Rice, in Turkey, says the PKK (Kurdish Workers’ Party) is a “common enemy” of Turkey and the US.


How will we deal with this common enemy? Condi has a cunning plan: “And the United States is committing to -- committed to redoubling those efforts because we need a comprehensive approach to this problem.” I’m sure that’ll do it.

However, she warns, it won’t be so easy, even with all the comprehensiveness and redoubling: “I want to repeat that all across the world, we’re seeing that it is not easy to root out terrorists who hide in remote areas and hide in villages.” This is evidently news to Condi.

George Bush and America, the world’s free nation

Cheney emerged today to give a speech to the American Legion. It must be odd to have to pretend in public to dislike the very things that bring joy to your life (insert Larry Craig reference here). “We do not torture,” he said, suppressing a gleeful cackle. “War is an unpleasant business,” he proclaimed, knowing that the podium was hiding his erection.


Bush also manfully faced the most friendly audience he could find today, at the Heritage Foundation. He thought this speech would be so important (he was wrong) that he gave reporters a preview of it in the morning. (I’ll be mixing together quotes from both). He was giving the speech, he said, because he is “concerned that there are some...” (He refuted his dread arch-enemies, the unspecified, mysterious, shadowy “Some,” quite often today.) “...who have lost sight of the fact that we’re at war with extremists and radicals who want to attack us again” and he would “remind people that even though we haven’t been attacked since September the 11th, there’s still an enemy out there that would like to attack us.” So consider yourself reminded.

He also said that he would end the speech with OTHER WORDS: “And then finally, I’ll conclude the speech by reminding people that this concept of stability has -- in other words, that foreign policy ought to promote stability as opposed to freedom has led to dangers, and that the only way to solve America’s long-term security needs is to remember that the enemy that we face can only recruit when there’s hopelessness and despair; and that liberty has got the capacity to transform societies from hopeless societies to hopeful societies; and that this administration will continue to press the freedom agenda; and obviously, that freedom agenda is being tested in places like Lebanon, Iraq, and the Palestinian Territories and Afghanistan.” You know, other words.


He said that “Unfortunately, on too many issues, Some in Congress are behaving as if America is not at war,” and during a war (the one you were just reminded of), there needs to be a “full national security team in place,” including an attorney general. “My point is, is that it’s creating a -- to have the Attorney General seat vacant for this long -- there’s an Acting Attorney General, of course, but not to have a confirmed Attorney General is not good for the country.” Remember how well everything went when we had Ashcroft or Gonzo?

He said it was “unfair” that Mukasey was asked about waterboarding. “He has not been read into the program, and won’t until he is confirmed and sword in”. Sword in? He may be thinking of the Skull and Bones initiation ceremony. Anyway, he says, whatever interrogation techniques are used by the CIA, they were made legal by what he’s still calling the Detainee Detention Act. “The procedures used in this program,” he asserted, “are safe. They are lawful. And they are necessary.” Indeed, they are safe: there’s even a safe word. Well, a safe sentence: “Oh god I’ll say anything you want me to say, just make it stop.”

OR NOT: Asked by a reporter if the delay confirming Mukasey was political, he said that he’d leave that to his minions: “You can listen to the voices that are out there talking as to whether or not this is politics or not.”


THEY’LL BE COMING ‘ROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN THEY COME: “I look forward to visiting with [Turkish] Prime Minister Erdogan on this important subject as to how we can work together to prevent people from coming out of mountain ranges to do harm to Turkish troops.”

Asked if Congress has forgotten we’re at war: “Well, I think there is a tendency for people to say, well, maybe -- let me just say, there are Some who say, don’t call this a war on terror. And there are Some who have accused me of using the words ‘war on terror’ as a way to frighten people into voting booths....” (Presumably cement-lined, bomb-proof voting booths.) “...And I emphasize the word ‘Some.’ As I’ll say in this speech, those who say we’re not in a war on terror are either disingenuous or naive. Either way, the attitude is dangerous because I will have quoted the words of the enemy in the speech, an enemy that said, we’re going to come and kill you.”

NO I WON’T BE AFRAID, NO I WON’T BE AFRAID, JUST AS LONG AS YOU STAND, STAND BY ME: Just as he got fixated on the word “say” in the first sentence of that quote, at Heritage he stumbled over “stand”: “They’re at war with America because they hate what they stand for -- and they understand we stand in their way.”

WHO WILL STAND IN THE WAY OF TERRORISTS? “America, the world’s free nation [sic]”.

GEORGE HEARS VOICES: “Once again, voices in Washington are arguing that the watchword of the policy should be ‘stability.’ And once again they’re wrong.” So all the chaos and instability you’ve caused was intentional?

“When it comes to funding our troops, Some in Washington should spend more time responding to the warnings of terrorists like Osama bin Laden and the requests of our commanders on the ground, and less time responding to the demands of MoveOn.org bloggers and Code Pink protesters.” I suspect he intended a comma after MoveOn.org, but possibly that’s just my wishful thinking as a blogger, like when a reporter called up Dick Gregory to inform him that he was on Richard Nixon’s enemies list, and he said, tell Nixon I accept, quick, before he changes his mind.

Breaking News: George Bush casts a shadow

The LA 8 case is over.

For the second time this week, the AP’s caption-writer is stunned by the fact that Bush “cast a shadow on the wall as he is introduced prior to speaking on the Global War on Terror, Thursday, Nov. 1, 2007, at the Heritage Foundation in Washington.” Of course, since it was at the Heritage Foundation, the shadow he cast was that of Richard Nixon.