Wednesday, February 21, 2001

Nigeria Elects Black President

Monday was Presidents' Day. George W. rushed downstairs in his footy pajamas and demanded to know where his presents were.

The American intelligence community is enacting once more its game of Good Traitor/Bad Traitor over Robert Philip Hanssen. I think that double s should have been reason enough to suspect him. Anyway, Hanssen could be executed because he was a traitor to his country by telling Russia the names of two of its citizens who were traitors to their country by working for the US. This is why a robot judge would be a bad idea: the infinite regression loop would make its head explode. Anyway, he was caught with the aid of a couple of the good traitors, that is Russian citizens the US pays to give information about our traitors. I'm going to move on to something else before my own head explodes.

Some more good spies, or at any rate lawyers representing them on behalf of the US government before the Supreme Court, argued that people do not have a reasonable expectation of privacy "in the heat that's on the exterior surface of their walls." "Heat loss is an inevitable feature of heat in a structure," said deputy solicitor general Michael Dreeben, who was 98.5 at the time. "That's why there is an insulation industry."

A New Statesman competition asks for world religions summed up in under 100 words. Only one entry worth reproducing:

Protestantism: You are one on one with God.
Catholicism: You are one on one with the priest.
Buddhism: You are One with The Oneness of All.
Hinduism: You are one with a lot of gods.
Jainism: You are 1 on a scale of 1 to 5.
Judaism: You are the one in the yarmulke.
Scientology: You are the one born every minute.
Islam: You are the one with the AK47.
New Age: You are wonderful.
Satanism: Oooh, you are a one.


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