Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bush in Germany: It’s all kinds of noise in their system and our system

This morning Bush held a press conference with Angela Merkel, who informed us, “Yesterday we had very intensive talks over dinner. We had intensive talks this morning.” There are few things as testicle-shrivelingly scary as a German using the phrase “intensive talks.”

Although Angela probably finds most scary Bush’s proclamation that “Our relationship is strong and our relationship is active.”

Going in for the inappropriate touching....

Going in....


NO GEORGE, WHAT THEY ACTUALLY SAID WAS THAT YOU ARE AS DUMB AS ASPARAGUS: “For those in the German press who thought I didn’t like asparagus, you’re wrong. The German asparagus are fabulous.”

WHAT THE IRANIAN PEOPLE DESERVE BETTER THAN: “The Iranian people deserve better than being isolated from the world. They deserve better from having, you know, their government held up as, you know, unsafe and not trustworthy.” Yeah, it must be terrible to have your government held up as, you know, unsafe and not trustworthy.

WHAT THERE’S A LOT OF IN THE AMERICAN POLITICAL SCENE THESE DAYS: “A lot of protectionism in the American political scene these days.”

THANKING THE MESSAGE: “And I want to thank the message that came out of the EU meeting yesterday, which is that if they choose to be -- continue to be obstinate, there will be additional sanctions.”

Following up on the London Times interview, he says that of course he would still have invaded Iraq: “I don’t regret it at all. .... But I could have used better rhetoric to indicate that one, we tried to exhaust the diplomacy in Iraq; two, that I don’t like war.”

IT’S ALL KINDS OF NOISE: “First of all, I think we’ll end up with a strategic agreement with Iraq. You know, it’s all kinds of noise in their system and our system. What eventually will win out is the truth. For example, you read stories perhaps in your newspaper that the U.S. is planning all kinds of permanent bases in Iraq. That’s an erroneous story. The Iraqis know -- will learn it’s erroneous, too. We’re there at the invitation of the sovereign government of Iraq.”

HE SURE KNOWS HOW TO SELL A DEAL: “And I strongly support the agreement because I think it helps send a clear message to the people of Iraq that, you know, that security you’re now seeing will continue.”

ALL SAYING “FUCK OFF,” BUT STILL, YOU KNOW, A MYRIAD: “You know, as to -- look, Eggen, you can find any voice you want in the Iraqi political scene and quote them, which is interesting, isn’t it, because in the past you could only find one voice, and now you can find a myriad of voices.” So the fact that most Iraqis are vehemently against the status-of-forces agreement is just another sign of our success in bringing democracy to Iraq. But you’ve also gotta love how this myriad of voices is cited as a reason you can safely ignore what those voices are saying, because “you can find any voice you want.” Freedom, ain’t it grand.

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