Wednesday, February 15, 2017

If there’s better verbiage out there, I will gladly use better verbiage

Sean Spicer called the Canadian prime minister “Joe Trudeau” today, so that’s his name now. Sorry, Joe. Sorry, Canada.

Anti-abortion Oklahoma state legislator Justin “Joe” Humphrey (all Justins are now officially Joe) is sponsoring a law to require that “hosts,” as he calls pregnant women (“I think I used the proper verbiage. When I used the term host, it’s not meant to degrade women. If there’s better verbiage out there, I will gladly use better verbiage. I just couldn’t find it.”) (I’m sure there are many things “Joe” can’t find: his ass with both hands; a clitoris; an ounce of human decency) name the father of their fetus and get permission from him before an abortion.

By the way, does “Joe” Humphrey wear a stupid cowboy hat and a stupid string tie? What do you think?

I assume it has little chance of becoming law, but just in case, I will advise what I have with previous coercive anti-abortion laws: lie. If this passes, every woman seeking an abortion in the state of Oklahoma should name the same (pro-choice, obviously) man. An ACLU lawyer, say, or Joe Biden. Sorry, “Justin” Biden.

(Update: A lot of the response to this bill has been of the “What about rape?” variety, and... no. Raising the worst-case scenario for giving men control over women’s bodies implies that there might be a best-case scenario, an acceptable type of forced pregnancy and just no.)

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