Bush represents his country before the entire world

At the G8 summit, Bush met with shoulder-rub buddy Angela Merkel.

WHAT THEY TALKED ABOUT: “We talked about a lot of common problems, and a lot of common opportunities.” I’ll bet they did, I’ll bet they did.


WHAT ANGELA MERKEL IS: “Angela Merkel is a constructive force for good.”


The following AP photo bears this caption: “U.S. President George W. Bush poses during his meeting with Germany Chancellor Angela Merkel...” So this is him posing for the camera, putting on his most dignified, preznidential look.


Or possibly he just has gas. And waiting in the wings, aspiring to assume Bush’s mantle of dignitudity:

I’m not going to sit here and psychoanalyze the man

At the G8 summit, Bush met Dmitry Medvedev, who is to Putin what Bush is to Cheney.

He noted that it was the first time he was meeting Medvedev “since he has become President of his big country,” and he called him Dmitry and “he” and “the man,” but for some reason never tried to say “Medvedev” out loud.

GEORGE, HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT EVERYONE WHO STANDS NEXT TO YOU LOOKS SMART?: “I found him to be a smart guy who understood the issues very well.”

DAMMIT, JIM, I’M A CHIMPANZEE, NOT A PSYCHIATRIST: “You know, I’m not going to sit here and psychoanalyze the man, but I will tell you that he’s very comfortable, he’s confident, and that I believe that when he tells me something, he means it. Sometimes in politics people tell you one thing and mean another. My judgment is that when he tells you something he means it, and that’s going to be good for the world leaders to have somebody that -- you may not agree with what he tells you, but at least you know it’s what he believes.”


THE REMINDERER GETS REMINDED! “He reminded me of our visit to the White House in 2005, where we discussed foreign policy then. And now I plan on -- discuss it face to face as presidents of our respective countries.”

BUT, DAMMIT, HE IS THE REMINDERER: “I reminded him that, yes, I’m leaving, but not until six months and I’m sprinting to the finish.”

And he met with “a really good friend of the American people and a great leader in Africa, President Kikwete of Tanzania,” who will visit the US next month: “looking forward to giving you a good dinner.” Adding, “whadda you guys like to eat, missionaries? Heh heh heh.”


WHO GEORGE CARES DEEPLY ABOUT. NO, REALLY HE DOES: “You know, I care deeply about the people of Zimbabwe. I am extremely disappointed in the elections, which I labeled a sham election.”

Wherein is revealed what Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice finds really frustrating

Condi’s been very busy this weekend creating peace in the Middle East playing golf. And giving many interviews, all about creating peace in the Middle East playing golf. With CBS Sports (“And I have to say nothing’s captured my imagination like this” “That’s really my summer goal, is to get just a little bit better at chipping so that I can have a little shorter putt.”), with XM Radio (“like a lot of people, suddenly my driver, has gone off on the last couple of weeks the last – the last two times that I’ve played. And it’s really frustrating, you know?”), with the Pentagon Channel (“It’s a nice way to get out.”)and with, naturally, the Golf Channel (“I've been playing and playing a lot.” “I really like the fact that that one little ball, you should be able to hit it the same way every time, and you never can.”).

I’m sure there are no metaphors to be found in any of that.

Good to see their president waving that flag

A Scotland Yard sharpshooter who has sharply shot dead an unnamed but large number of people and is nicknamed “Killer,” has been awarded £5,000 in damages for his hurt feelings after a Met commander jokingly told him, “I’ve always wanted to meet the Met’s very own serial killer.” One anonymous copper said that the sharpshooter was, and I quote, “bang out of order.”

Well, I guess it had been a while since we blew up a wedding in Afghanistan and then denied it, claiming to have killed only “militant extremists,” like the bride.

In Tokyo, Bush held a press conference with Prime Minister Fukuda.

SO, GEORGE, HAVE YOU MEMORIZED THOSE LITTLE CATCHPHRASES ABOUT NORTH KOREA WE GAVE YOU? “I view this process as a multi-step process where there will be action for action.”

NOSTRADUMBASS SPEAKS: “I’ve got a pretty good sense about whether or not a G8 is going to be a success or maybe not such a success. This one is going to be a success.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “I appreciate very much your strong belief in the accountability aspect of this meeting. In other words, when people say they’re -- make a pledge to feed the hungry or provide for the ill, that we ought to honor that pledge. And I thank you for understanding that.”


A PROVEN FACT: “And the truth of the matter is, we can give grants, but the best way to help the impoverished around the world is through trade. It’s a proven fact.”

HE’S THE REMINDERER: “And then I’m going to spend some time, of course, sharing my views about the environment and how we can advance our common agenda, and that -- remind people that the United States and Japan really do lead the world in research when it comes to clean technologies.”

UNSPEAK: “We’re -- we passed uninsurance benefits -- unemployment benefits -- excuse me.”

THAT STATEMENT YOU DIDN’T MAKE IS NOT ACCURATE AND YOU SHOULDN’T NOT MAKE IT AGAIN: “Somehow there’s this notion -- inherent in your question is the delisting therefore took away their sanctions. That’s just not an accurate statement on your part -- if you think that -- I’m not assuming you do think that, but -- they’re a highly sanctioned regime.”

WHAT THE OLYMPICS IS: “I view the Olympics as a opportunity for me to cheer on our athletes. It’s an athletic event. i had the honor of dealing with the Chinese -- two Chinese Presidents during my term, and every time I have visited with them I have talked about religious freedom and human rights. And so, therefore, my decision to go was -- I guess I don’t need the Olympics to express my concerns.” Or a basic working knowledge of the English language.


“I happen to believe not going to the opening games would be -- the Opening Ceremony for the Games would be an affront to the Chinese people...” As opposed to the lack of political and religious freedom “...which may make it more difficult to have a -- to be able to speak frankly with the Chinese leadership.” You know who else can’t speak frankly with the Chinese leadership, without being beaten up and/or imprisoned? The Chinese people.


WHY HE’S DOING WHAT HE’S DOING: “That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing. And I’m looking forward to cheering the athletes. I think it will be -- I think it would be good for these athletes who have worked hard to see their President waving that flag.” Bill Clinton used to say the same thing, but I think he meant something different by “waving that flag.”

WHAT PEOPLE SHOULDN’T FEAR: “I have been very clear in my view that, for example, a whole society is one that honors religion, and that people shouldn’t fear religious people.”

Chimpish ignorance and superstition

Language Log takes Bush to task for selectively quoting from a Thomas Jefferson letter in his July 4th speech yesterday in a way that distorted its meaning. Here’s the full quote, with the words Bush for some reason skipped highlighted:

May it [the United States] be to the world, what I believe it will be — to some parts sooner, to others later, but finally to all — the Signal of arousing men to burst the chains under which monkish ignorance and superstition had persuaded them to bind themselves, and to assume the blessings and security of self-government.

Today, Bush’s Indy-Day-themed weekly radio address claimed that “human freedom is the birthright of all people and a gift from the Almighty” and concluded, “And with the protection of Divine Providence it will continue to shine brightly for generations to come.” He may talk about liberty, but it’s always in that tone of monkish ignorance and superstition. People who don’t believe in liberty as being maintained solely by the thoughts and efforts of mere mortals, as opposed to “Divine Providence,” do not understand liberty.

We expect Japan to work hard to have good relations with Japan

Wednesday, Bush gave an interview to members of foreign, mostly Japanese, media in advance of the G8 summit.

HE’S THE CLEARERER: “And it’s very important for me to make it clear to him and the Japanese people that I value the bilateral relationship with Japan.”

A BRIEF HISTORY OF RECENT JAPANESE HISTORY: “The first Prime Minister I dealt with wasn’t around very much, he was -- he spent more time with my predecessor, obviously. And then Koizumi, and then obviously Abe and the current Prime Minister.” You might wanna memorize that name before you get there. And, indeed, learn how to say “Fukuda” without giggling.

WHAT GEORGE IS CONFIDENT ABOUT: “I’m confident people will be concerned about food prices and energy prices. We’ll discuss those.”

WHAT PARTS OF THE WORLD SHOULD BECOME: “But we can do a better job of selling seed and fertilizer -- or giving seed and fertilizer to help others grow crops. I mean, it is -- parts of the world should become sufficient in food, and they’re not.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “It turns out that energy independence and climate change can go hand in hand. In other words, the technologies that free us from dependence on hydrocarbons will be the very technologies that enable us to improve the environment.”

GEOGRAPHY IS NOT HIS THING: “such as your [Japan’s] cross-straits neighbor, China.”

WHAT WILL BE ON GEORGE’S MIND: “On my mind, of course, will be human rights and human dignity.” Because when you think George W. Bush, you think human dignity.

WHAT WE GOT TO REMEMBER AND WHAT WE GOT TO MEAN: “And we got to remember that there is suffering in the world and that when we speak, when we make pledges, we got to mean what we say.”

WHAT THE LAST G8 PEOPLE SAID: “And the last G8 people came to the table and said, okay, we hear you, now we’ll all pledge.”

WHAT THE QUESTION IS: “And the question is, have people written checks?”

HE’S THE GENTLE REMINDERER: “And I will gently remind people, to the extent I can be gentle, that it’s important for people, when they hear us talk, to know that there will be results.” Okay, in George’s case, that result is usually be nausea...

WHAT GEORGE CAN UNDERSTAND: About Japanese citizens kidnapped by North Korea: “I can understand the mom’s concerns. I got to see firsthand in the Oval Office how -- her sense of anguish and hurt that her sweet daughter had been abducted. So I understand the emotions of the issue. As a matter of fact, I invited her to come because I wanted to -- I wanted her and others to see firsthand my personal concern....” Because it’s all about you, George. “...The truth of the matter is, if I wasn’t concerned about the issue and didn’t think it was a priority, I wouldn’t have invited her to the Oval Office.” Quod erat demonstrandum.

WHAT HE SAY AGAIN: “But I will say it again, like I have said it time and time again, this is the beginning of our concern and it’s a framework to help solve the concerns of the parents, the people of Japan and the Japanese government.”

WHAT THE FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION IS: “And the fundamental question is how do you solve the problem of North Korea; that’s the question. That’s what the six-party talks were aimed to address. The history of this issue was at one point in time it was really only the United States that was dealing with the issue, others were kind of there, but they weren’t that -- they basically said, here, go solve it.”

WHAT NORTH KOREA IS: “But first of all, this regime is highly sanctioned. ... And we of course will consult with our partners to deal about -- I mean, step one is no change in the current status, which means highly sanctioned -- probably the most sanctioned nation in the world.”

THE ESTIMATE: A LOT. “it’ll make any international agreement ineffective if they’re not a part to it, because, you know, it is estimated that -- well, China is creating a lot of greenhouse gases and will continue to do so.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, if you can get nations to commit to a goal, you’ve got them committed to a process.”

WHAT THE WORLD IS NOW BEGINNING TO WAKEN UP TO: “the interesting thing is, is that the world is now beginning to waken up to the beauty of nuclear power.”

A COMPLETE DECLARATION: “One thing is for certain is they did collapse their cooling tower on the plant that had been used to manufacture plutonium. I mean, that is a complete declaration, at least of that aspect of what they said -- when they said they would dismantle -- or disable and then dismantle. And so we’ve got -- you know, there’s a process. Things are going on.”

WHAT GEORGE WOULD ASKS HIMSELF IF HE WERE SOMEONE ELSE: “Now, one thing that’s interesting -- I think I’ll you find this interesting, at least you’ll play like it’s interesting -- is this: Should the Iranian regime -- so I’m the guy who just talked about nuclear power, right? Should the Iranian regime -- do they have the sovereign right to have civilian nuclear power? So, like, if I were you, that’s what I’d ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do.”

AND WE KNOW HOW MUCH THE JAPANESE LOVE YOUNG SCHOOLGIRLS: On Japanese aid to Afghanistan: “It also ought to make the Japanese people feel good to know that they’re helping young girls go to school...”

PUTTING THE PAST BEHIND US: Asked about a suggestion evidently making the rounds in Japan that the Japanese prime minister visit Pearl Harbor and the American president visit Hiroshima, he said, well, no, of course, and that the reason he got on so well with Koizumi was “because we put the past behind us and focused on the future.”

OUR RELATIONS ARE STRONG: “First of all, the cornerstone of U.S. policy is good, strong relations with Japan. So, as far as the Bush administration goes, that has been our policy and we’ve acted on it. That’s not to say we can’t have good relations with China, nor Japan can have good relations -- I mean, Japan should have good relations with China. And we expect Japan to work hard to have good relations with Japan, just like Japan ought to hope that we have good relations with China, which we do. Our relations are strong, and some say have never been better. I’ll let the experts judge that.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “And so I don’t view the world as zero sum -- in other words, if you got a good relationship -- strong relationship, you can’t have a good relationship with China; quite the contrary. In good foreign policy and good diplomacy, a good relations with one makes it easier to have a better relations with another country. And that’s how we’ve conducted our policy.”

IN OTHER CONSEQUENTIAL WORDS: “Diplomacy -- in order for diplomacy to be effective, it has to be consequential. In other words, when five people say, here’s the way forward, and if you choose not to do so there will be consequences -- or if you choose to do so, there will be consequences, it is much more effective than one nation sitting there saying, please change your habits.”

WHAT THE VOICES IN GEORGE’S HEAD ARE SAYING NOW: “I think people would say that the Japanese autos and the Japanese R&D is very advanced on battery technologies, which is good. People say, well, doesn’t that upset you? And my answer is, absolutely not.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “In the meantime, we better transition to this period. In other words, evidently our Congress must have thought that there will be instant technology on the market, because they prevented us, since 2001, from exploring for known oil and gas reserves that we can do in environmentally friendly ways.”

WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT AFGHANISTAN: “This is back to this man’s question down here about, why should we care about Afghanistan. The answer is, is because safe haven is a risk.”

My (still unnamed) cat...

would just as soon that 1) the fireworks would stop, 2) and while she’s hiding from the fireworks under the chair, someone wouldn’t take flash pictures of her. Just sayin’.

Wherein is revealed who was an unwavering champion of those struggling for liberty

Bush describes the late Jesse Helms as “an unwavering champion of those struggling for liberty.” I don’t think that word means what George thinks it means. He adds that “we pray he finds comfort in the arms of the loving God he strove to serve throughout his life.” I pray he finds that God is a pissed-off black lesbian.

Speaking of politicians who were friends to blacks, women and especially to black women, Bush celebrated the Fourth of July at Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello, which he’s evidently never bothered to visit before. Jefferson was a godless heathen, you know.

Jefferson, he said, “was known to have read five books at a time on a revolving book stand.” Whereas Bush has been known to spin five times on a revolving book stand until he gets dizzy and falls off.

Symmetrical simpleton
HOW WE HONOR JEFFERSON’S LEGACY (HINT: IT INVOLVES INVADING OTHER COUNTRIES): “We honor Jefferson’s legacy by aiding the rise of liberty in lands that do not know the blessings of freedom.”

Monticello hosted, as it does every year, a naturalization ceremony.

DUDE, THEY RAISE ONE HAND. UNLESS THEY’RE FRENCH, OF COURSE: “When you raise your hands and take the oath, you will complete an incredible journey.”

HEY, I’M JUST SURPRISED HE CAN COUNT THAT HIGH: “These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people.”

Perhaps it’s not so popular to be a suicide bomber

Condi is “proud” of the invasion of Iraq, which has absolutely not, she says, made the world less safe. Her proof: “We’re now beginning to see that perhaps it’s not so popular to be a suicide bomber. We’re beginning to see that perhaps people are questioning whether Osama Bin Laden ought to really be the face of Islam.” Quod erat demonstrandum.

And now, a very special, international edition of “Everything You Need to Know About the Economy You Can Tell By the Expression on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s Face,” from a press conference in London today.

What a joyous occasion it must be to know that the plan had worked

This morning Bush attended a ground-breaking for the new Walter Reed medical center, which will feature state-of-the-art reminding: “And those who wear our nation’s uniform will be reminded that they have the enduring gratitude of the American people.”


He talked about a sergeant who received a brain injury from an IED in Iraq. Bush saw him a year ago and “I was one who felt like this guy had no chance.” But “I welcomed he and his mom and dad to the Oval Office the other day. He was more eloquent than I was, which isn’t all that hard.” Oy.

WHAT GEORGE PRAYS: “I pray that this will be the site of many miracles of healing -- where the lame will walk again”.

Speaking of which, John McCain sought miracles of healing for his lame presidential campaign from the Virgin Mary at the Basilica de Guadalupe in Mexico City today.



Bush spoke about his phone call yesterday to Colombian President Uribe to congratulate him for snookering FARC out of its hostages: “And I told him what a joyous occasion it must be to know that the plan had worked”. Sadly, the joy of knowing that a plan had worked is something George has never experienced and will never experience.

Mythical principles of legality and humaneness

As you probably all know by now, there is new evidence that Guantanamo interrogation techniques were modeled after those China used on American POWs during the Korean War, as reported in a 1957 article by Air Force sociologist (!) Alfred Biderman entitled “Communist Attempts to Elicit False Confessions From Air Force Prisoners of War.” Blogs on the left have perhaps unfairly jumped on the word false,

The article (pdf) was published at the tail end of the 1950s panic about “brainwashing,” which had been of intense interest to the CIA and the military, as Alfred McCoy recently recounted in his book A Question of Torture: CIA Interrogation, From the Cold War to the War on Terror, which is worth a quick read. The Biderman article is 10 pages long and also worth reading for its insights into the methods of breaking a human being’s will as well as for such ironies as “For the interrogator, forced standing has still further advantages. It is consistent with formal adherence to mythical principles of legality and humaneness important to the Communists.” (Donald Rumsfeld: “I stand for 8-10 hours a day. Why is standing limited to four hours?”)

And I’m also going to remind people that our habits are changing

This morning Bush talked about next week’s G8 summit.

WHAT ONE OF HIS REALLY IMPORTANT AGENDA ITEMS IS GOING TO: “And so one of my really important agenda items is going to -- is going to rally our partners to make commitments and meet commitments.”

WHAT WE’VE GOT TO WORK TO CONFRONT: “We’ve got to work to confront higher food prices.”


HE’S THE REMINDERER: “I’ll be reminding people that we can have better energy security and we can be better stewards of the environment without sacrificing economic growth.”

HE’S THE REMINDERATOR: “I’ll remind people at the G8 and other nations that we’re taking effective steps.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “The 2009 budget requests more than $4 billion to support technologies that have the potential to avoid, reduce and sequester greenhouse gases. In other words, we’ve got a strong agenda when it comes to providing money to encourage the advent of new technologies.” Sequester?


HE’S THE REMINDER-IN-CHIEF: “Look, we can’t have an effective agreement unless China and India are a part of it. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to remind our partners that’s the case.”

THE MORE OF OUR PEOPLE DIE, THE MORE WE MUST BE WINNING: “You know, one reason why there have been more deaths [of US troops in Afghanistan] is because our troops are taking the fight to a tough enemy, an enemy who doesn’t like our presence there because they don’t like the idea of America denying safe haven.” Seems like no one’s haven is all that safe in Afghanistan.

WHAT ONE THING WE NEED TO MAKE CLEAR IS: “One thing we need to make clear when I’m with our partners is that we’re not going to become protectionists, that we believe in free trade and open markets.” So he won’t use protection when he’s with his partners. Well that’s just wrong.


HE’S THE REMINDERSAURUS: “...drilling for oil and gas in our own country -- something I’ve been advocating ever since I’ve been the President. I’ve been reminding our people that we can do so in environmentally friendly ways.”

YOU KNOW WHAT HE REMINDS ME OF? A CHIMPANZEE WITH A FLAG LAPEL PIN. “Ultimately, of course, we’re going to transition away from hydrocarbon. But we’re now just in a transitional period and we need more oil to be able to do so. And I’m also going to remind people that our habits are changing.” But not his habit of reminding people of things. Such as that thing about how we’re in a transitional period so we need to use more oil to use less oil. Or something.

WHAT GEORGE FULLY UNDERSTANDS AND WHAT HE WANTS AMERICANS TO UNDERSTAND FULLY (HE’S THE FULLY UNDERSTANDERER): “I mean, nobody likes high gasoline prices, and I fully understand why Americans are concerned about gasoline prices. But I want them to understand fully that we have got the opportunity to find more crude oil here at home, in environmentally friendly ways, and they ought to be writing their Congress people about it, and they ought to say, you ought to be opening up ANWR and Outer Continental Shelf, and increasing oil shale exploration, for the sake of our consumers, as well as become less dependent on oil.” Again, drilling for more oil so we can use less oil.

AND IN CONCLUSION, WHAT GEORGE HOPES: “Listen, thank you very much. I’ve enjoyed being with you. I hope you’ve enjoyed being with me. You have? Thank you.”

Why a wounded Iraqi totally deserved to die

“He had like this evil smirk on his face. He was basically taunting us.”

George knows the way forward in housing

Bush, speaking at the Family Service Agency in Little Rock about the housing problem: “We know the way forward in housing -- good legislation and helping people stay in their homes.” See, and you thought it might be complicated.


Yesterday, asked whether he considered Obama patriotic, McCain said, “I think that Senator Obama is a great American success story. I think his family is. I think he’s someone who is admired and respected throughout this country and the world.” Not really a yes or no, is it?


Today McCain, in advance of his trip to Latin America, admitted that Colombia has “human rights abuses by the paramilitaries” “But I balance that against Uribe and his administration’s rescue of Colombia from a failed state status”. So that’s okay then. Something to carve on the headstones of murdered trade unionists.

We can no longer afford these kinds of divisions

Obama gave a speech on patriotism today, saying “The question of who is or is not a patriot all too often poisons our political debates...” as opposed to poisoning our political debates just the right amount of the time “...in ways that divide us rather than bring us together. We can no longer afford these kinds of divisions.” Well, maybe there’ll be a 4th of July sale at Wal-Mart.


McCain, responded to Wesley Clark’s comment that McCain’s record as a dropper of bombs and prisoner of war (or is it dropper of war and prisoner of bombs?) doesn’t qualify him for the presidency, “If that’s the kind of campaign that Senator Obama and his surrogates and supporters want to engage in, I understand that. But it doesn’t reduce the price of a gallon of gas by a penny”. That’s what’s known as a campaign-rhetorical non sequitur. How exactly would anything that Candidate Obama says reduce gas prices or indeed make your teeth whiter, your breath sweeter, your love life more fulfilling, or your neighbor’s dog stop barking all the time while you’re trying to get the new kitten settled in?

By the way, I don’t think I’ve ever linked to a fun BBC Radio program on political clichés by former MP Matthew Parris (2 parts, 14 minutes each).

This morning, Bush signed the supplemental appropriation for his many wars, saying, “Our nation has no greater responsibility than supporting our men and women in uniform -- especially since we’re at war.” He showed this support by spending the afternoon with our children and chipmunks in uniform.





Update: Michael in comments suggests that Bush is going for this look:

The toilet bowl scrubber is not a toy

And other things you find yourself saying to your new (still unnamed) kitten.

Although I’m sure that sentence was also spoken to George Bush by his mother. And quite possibly by Laura as well.

Whatever George does, he somehow makes look difficult, like getting out of an (illegally parked) car,


or choosing a shirt.

Caption contest, old man version

The AP caption is the same for both these pictures: “Republican presidential candidate, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., reacts to a protester shouting during his speech to the National Association of Latino Elected Officials in Washington, Saturday, June 28, 2008.”

Caption contest, kitten version

Meet my new cat. Currently hiding behind the couch.


Don’t take it personally. She’s friendly, really.



Been here four hours now. She’s about three months old. Thing is, the humane society people or someone named her (shudder) “Dot.” After the dot on her back, I guess.


We can do better.


And by we, I mean you.


Because I’m perfectly capable of calling a cat “Cat” for thirteen or so years. Done it before.


So it’s up to you. Give this kitty a name!

Scalia apportions blame

Antonin Scalia on Bush v. Gore: “Richard Nixon, when he lost to Kennedy thought that the election had been stolen in Chicago, which was very likely true with the system at the time... But he did not even think about bringing a court challenge. That was his prerogative. So you know if you don’t like it, don’t blame it on me. I didn’t bring it into the courts. Mr Gore brought it into the courts. So if you don’t like the courts getting involved talk to Mr Gore.”

For your captioning pleasure, some leftover pictures:

Our concerns are for you, not against you

This morning Bush spoke at the National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast, and he did so in two languages: “So he asked, would I come to the prayer breakfast. My answer was, por supuesto.” “As some of you may or may not know, the -- mi niñita lived in Panama for a while”. “We pray that America will strengthen those who serve nuestros hermanos y hermanas in need.” “I’ve known Esperanza for ochos años.” George is just so totally bi-lingual.


He said of the National Hispanic Prayer Breakfast: “It’s an important event because it reminds us that no matter what our status in life might be, that we have a duty to respond to a higher power.” Breakfast? It is the most important meal of the day.

If George can speak in two languages, I can get two punchlines from that sentence: “It’s an important event because it reminds us that no matter what our status in life might be, that we have a duty to respond to a higher power.” Dick Cheney?

Earlier, Bush spoke about the nuclear deal with North Korea.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In other words, as I said in the statement, it’s action for action.”


IN OTHER WORDS: “In North Korea, we have been concerned that food shipments sometimes don’t make it to the people themselves -- in other words, the regime takes the food for their own use.”

HE HAS A FUNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT: “So my message to the [North Korean] people is, is that we’ll continue to care for you and worry about you, and at the same time, pursue a Korean Peninsula that’s nuclear weapons free.” He also told the North Koreans, “our concerns are for you, not against you”.

IN OTHER WORDS: “In the past, we would provide benefits to the North Koreans in the hope that they would fulfill a vague promise. In other words, that’s the way it was before I came into office.”



MAN, THOSE NORTH KOREANS ARE AUDACIOUS: “I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” You’re sure it wasn’t by Dick Cheney? He gets awfully hungry around noon.

And in the afternoon, he spoke at a conference sponsored by his Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, of which he said “This is not a political convention. This is a compassion convention. (Applause.) This is ‘we don’t care about politic’ convention.”

IRREFUTABLE PROOF OF THE EXISTENCE OF GOD: “How beautiful was that? From being a homeless mother of two to introducing the President of the United States. (Applause.) There has to be a higher power.”

IN OTHER WORDS: “my administration has advanced policies that yield greater support for faith-based and community groups. In other words, it’s one thing to talk it; it’s another thing to act.”

WHAT GEORGE IS OFTENTIMES ASKED BY THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD: “But oftentimes I’m asked, why? Why do you care what happens outside of America?”


WHAT COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN A PLACE LIKE AMERICA: “It’s only in a place like America -- think about it, think about our country for a second -- could a life nearly extinguished by hate be restored by love and compassion.” Because every other country suuuuuucks.

WHAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T EVEN REALIZE: “You probably don’t even realize some of the acts of kindness are miracles. I’m telling you they are.”

Because when you think District of Columbia, you think well-regulated militia

The Supreme Court strikes down D.C.’s ban on handgun ownership (and its trigger-lock requirement), ruling 5-4 that everyone has the right to own handguns. They also ruled that it would be cool if dueling came back in style.

The return of constructive engagement and quiet diplomacy

South Africa’s ANC issues a statement on Zimbabwe which, while condemning “the flagrant violation of every principle of democratic governance” (though saying much of the blame lies with Britain), asks other nations not to intervene, saying “any attempts by outside players to impose regime change will merely deepen the crisis.” I seem to recall Ronald Reagan saying that very thing about apartheid South Africa in the 1980s (update: I didn’t mean that literally, but I’ve just done the google thing, and Reagan actually said that putting sanctions on South Africa would “deepen the crisis.”)

John McCain is profoundly disturbed. He says so himself.

McCain and Obama both reject the Supreme Court decision that the death penalty should not be applied to child-rapists, boldly coming out against the rape of children. McCain: “That there is a judge anywhere in America who does not believe that the rape of a child represents the most heinous of crimes, which is deserving of the most serious of punishments, is profoundly disturbing.” Heaven forfend any member of the United States judiciary not support the state putting people to death.

A spirit of respect

Bush met Vietnamese Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung today. Evidently, “Our relationship with Vietnam is getting closer, in a spirit of respect.” This spirit of respect did not, however, prevent the White House website failing to understand Vietnamese names and calling the respected guest “Prime Minister Dung.” The transcript didn’t specify whether Bush giggled disgracefully throughout the meeting.

A nation in which there’s a lot of Philippine-Americans

This morning Bush met with Philippines President Gloria Arroyo.

WHY GEORGE IS PROUD: “First, I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that -- in which there’s a lot of Philippine-Americans.”

HE’S THE REMINDERER, BUT ALSO THE REMINDEDER: “And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the -- of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.”


GEORGE SPEAKS SENSITIVELY ABOUT THE TYPHOON: “Some are wondering whether or not their loved ones will, you know, reappear.”

MORE THAN STRONG STAND: “I congratulated the President on her strong stand on counterterrorism -- more than strong stand -- effective stand on counterterrorism”.


WHAT STICKS SAY: “The President has been very strong in having a carrots-and-sticks approach -- ‘sticks,’ of course, say we’re not going to allow for people to terrorize our citizens; the ‘carrot’ approach is that there’s peace available.”

Terror gaffe

McCain aide Charlie Black, in what the London Times rather charmingly called a “terror gaffe,” told Fortune magazine that a terrorist attack on US soil would “certainly” “be a big advantage” to McCain. Possibly he thought was talking to Soldier of Fortune magazine?

Le mot juste

I just got my new driver’s license in the mail. With the new picture.

AAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!