Today -100: December 15, 1911: Of ultimata, archdukes, king-emperors, bandits, gallows in opera houses, absinthe and defective children

British Foreign Secretary Edward Grey basically agrees with Russia’s ultimatum to Persia that it fire its American treasurer-general, William Morgan-Shuster, and only appoint foreign advisers acceptable to Russia and Britain.

33-year-old Archduke Henry Ferdinand (or, to give him his full name, Henry Ferdinand Salvator Marie Joseph Leopold Charles Ludwig Pius Albert Rupert Katherine von Richi) quits the Austrian court, the second archduke to do so this year. Like Ferdinand Karl, he met a woman from the lower orders. He doesn’t seem to be marrying her, but he did leverage the threat of doing so to get permission to leave the military (which he did without leave anyway) to study painting in Munich (I wonder if he knew Hitler?).

In Delhi, the King-Emperor reviews 50,000 troops and creates 93 knights and 200 companions of orders.

The House passes a bill for an 8-hour day for laborers and mechanics engaged on contracted-out government work.

The bloody work of American occupation in the Philippines goes on (and on). American troops kill 42 Moro “bandits.”

In a story for which the NYT Index fails to provide a proper link, a negro preacher, William Turner, is hanged in the Jackson, Georgia opera house for inciting a “race riot” in which one white man was shot. This is not a lynching, but a legal hanging. The sheriff decided that he could prevent a lynching by holding it in the opera house, and the victim’s family could watch from the box seats and not have to stand in the rain.

John E. Brown, in jail in Moab, Utah awaiting trial for killing his daughter and her husband, likes his privacy, so he’s been paying the fines of anyone who gets arrested.

The feds ban the import of absinthe, which the head of the Pure Food Board says is “one of the worst enemies of man”.

Headline of the Day -100: “FEW CHILDREN NORMAL.” 65% of the children in Boston schools are below physical par or, as they are sensitively termed, defective.

Iraq is not a perfect place

Obama went to Fort Bragg today to tell the troops “Welcome home. Welcome home. Welcome home. (Applause.) Welcome home.” Evidently the war in Iraq is over. Who knew?

BE VEWWY, VEWWY QUIET: “We’ve got a lot of folks in the house today. ... We’ve got America’s quiet professionals -- our Special Operations Forces.”

AND THEIR BOOTS FULL OF SAND, PRESUMABLY: “Those last American troops will move south on desert sands, and then they will cross the border out of Iraq with their heads held high.”

THAT’S ONE WAY OF PUTTING IT: “[O]ur efforts in Iraq have taken many twists and turns.”


IT’S NOT? “Now, Iraq is not a perfect place. It has many challenges ahead.”

YES, THEY CALLED HIM THE STREAK: “We remember the early days -- the American units that streaked across the sands and skies of Iraq”.

WORST PORNO EVER: “We remember the grind of the insurgency”.

He gave a potted history of the Iraq War that in no way deviates from the Bush narrative: Al Qaida fanning the flames of sectarianism, the surge, the “Awakening,” all saved by the bravery and derring-do of American soldiers.

HE’S ALWAYS SO CONCERNED THAT WE’RE GOING TO MAKE A MISTAKE: “And make no mistake -- as we go forward as a nation, we are going to keep America’s armed forces the strongest fighting force the world has ever seen.” And they’ve seen it a lot.


SEXYTIME: “But our commitment doesn’t end when you take off the uniform.”

MORE SEXYTIME: “For all of the challenges that our nation faces, you remind us that there’s nothing we Americans can’t do when we stick together.” AUDIENCE: Hooah!

He calls the assembled soldiery “The 9/11 Generation.” Sigh.

WOW, WE ARE SO FUCKING UNSELFISH IT’S BEYOND BELIEF: “That’s part of what makes us special as Americans. Unlike the old empires, we don’t make these sacrifices for territory or for resources. We do it because it’s right. There can be no fuller expression of America’s support for self-determination than our leaving Iraq to its people. That says something about who we are.” It says something alright.

BARRY, IT WOULD BE EASIER TO KEEP DANCING ON HIS GRAVE IF YOU HADN’T HAD HIM DUMPED IN THE OCEAN: “Osama bin Laden will never again walk the face of this Earth.”


WHAT ABOUT THE SOLDIERS WHO KILLED ALL THOSE INDIANS, WEREN’T THEY PART OF THE “UNBROKEN LINE”? “Never forget that you are part of an unbroken line of heroes spanning two centuries -- from the colonists who overthrew an empire, to your grandparents and parents who faced down fascism and communism, to you -- men and women who fought for the same principles in Fallujah and Kandahar, and delivered justice to those who attacked us on 9/11.”

Today -100: December 14, 1911: Of treaties, Democrats in Arizona, poles, and holy days

The House passes the resolution in favor of denouncing the 1832 treaty with Russia due to its discrimination against the passports of American Jews by a vote of 300-1, but the Senate is planning to delay taking any action.

The Democrats sweep the Arizona elections, electing D’s as the almost-state’s first delegates to the US House and Senate, governor, and 3/4 of the Legislature. When they actually take office depends on when AZ becomes a state. It’s also not clear whether the next election will be in 1912 or 1914. 1912 seems too soon, but 1914 would entail the new Legislature extending its own term, as well as those of the state officers, which would likely provoke recalls, as allowed under the new constitution.

It’s not in the paper, for obvious reasons, but the Amundsen expedition reached the South Pole today, planting the Norwegian flag. Suck it, Scott.



The pope strikes St. Patrick’s Day from the list of obligatory holy days on which Catholics are required to attend mass and abstain from work. And no fasting.

Today -100: December 13, 1911: Of women mayors, treaties, setting the nation shaking, pensions, peace, and durbars

Mayor Samuel Shank of Indianapolis told the Restricted Equal Suffrage Association (a women’s suffrage group whose name I strongly suspect the NYT got wrong) that, just for the hell of it, he’d appoint one of them to serve in his place the next time he was out of town. So the Association has chosen Dr. Hannah Graham. Only it seems that Shank didn’t really mean it, and is surprised to be taken seriously, and doesn’t intend to leave town, and if he did he’d probably just appoint his wife.

The House Committee on Foreign Affairs supports a resolution to abrogate the 1832 treaty with Russia due to Russia’s exclusion of American Jews, because they hate hate hate racism. Also, they just realized that ethnic Chinese inhabitants of Russia could emigrate to the US and they hate hate hate Chinese immigrants.

A National Protest Committee is formed to send a pilgrimage of 5,000 to 10,000 negroes to Washington to demand the suppression of lynching. The president of the Committee, Rev. Mark Harris, notes that while 12 million negroes have hitherto been unable to stop lynching, a mere handful of Jews have managed to “set the Nation shaking” with their protest about Russia.

The House passes the “Dollar a Day” pension bill, giving veterans of the Mexican-American or Civil Wars pensions of as much as $30 a month. Socialist congresscritter Victor Berger offers an amendment pensions for everyone over 60, saying it was the only way to get the idea before the House.

Headline of the Day -100: “Germans Seize Peace Meeting.” A meeting in Carnegie Hall in support of the arbitration treaties between the US and Britain and France was disrupted and shouted down by a bunch of Germans led by one Alphonse Koelble (with a Germanic turned-up mustache) of the German-American Citizens’ League, who said they were a “lot of dubs” trying to “knife” Germany.

King George V and Queen Mary, crowned emperor and empress of India in Delhi, announce that the capital of the Raj is moving from Calcutta to Delhi. The emperor wore a robe of imperial purple, white satin breaches, and a crown with diamonds studded with emeralds, rubies and sapphires that sounds like it was worth more than the city of Calcutta, so I’m not sure how thankfully the news that the new King-Emperor was graciously donating 50 lakhs of rupees to education was really greeted. Here’s a contemporary newsreel:



And here’s some rather horse-centric footage from the 2002 tv series “The British Empire in Colour.”

Iraq’s sovereignty must be respected

Today Obama held a press conference with Iraqi PM Maliki, who Obama called “the elected leader of a sovereign, self-reliant and democratic Iraq.” Not an accurate adjective in that phrase.

AND MOE WAS THE SMARTEST STOOGE: “The Prime Minister leads Iraq’s most inclusive government yet.”


WELL, MAYBE NOT TRANSPARENT, BUT THEY DO HAVE BIG BOMB-BLAST HOLES YOU CAN SEE THROUGH: “Iraqis are working to build institutions that are efficient and independent and transparent.”

IF GROWTH IS MEASURED FROM THE POINT AT WHICH WE’D BOMBED THEIR INFRASTRUCTURE INTO RUBBLE, ANYWAY: “And I think it’s worth considering some remarkable statistics. In the coming years, it’s estimated that Iraq’s economy will grow even faster than China’s or India’s.”

DO AS WE SAY, NOT AS WE DO: “For just as Iraq has pledged not to interfere in other nations, other nations must not interfere in Iraq. Iraq’s sovereignty must be respected.”

HE’S ALWAYS SO CONCERNED THAT WE’RE GOING TO MAKE A MISTAKE: “So make no mistake, our strong presence in the Middle East endures”.

“And let us never forget those who gave us this chance -- the untold number of Iraqis who’ve given their lives; more than one million Americans, military and civilian, who have served in Iraq; nearly 4,500 fallen Americans who gave their last full measure of devotion; tens of thousands of wounded warriors, and so many inspiring military families. They are the reason that we can stand here today.” On a large pile of corpses.


Obama said Syrian President Assad’s repression has “deeply eroded” “his capacity to regain legitimacy inside Syria”. As with Qaddafi’s famous lost legitimacy, Obama fails to explain when and how Assad ever gained legitimacy in the first place.

You know, when I heard from Al Jazeera that Iran was refusing to return the US’s downed drone, I assumed it was a preemptive refusal and laughed at the notion that we’d actually have the nerve to ask, but Obama says they did and “We’ll see how the Iranians respond.” Yes, yes we will.

poll by twiigs.com

SO IT WAS AAALLLLLL WORTH WHILE: “what’s happened over the last several years has linked the United States and Iraq in a way that is potentially powerful and could end up benefitting not only America and Iraq but also the entire region and the entire world.”

A MODEL: “we think a successful, democratic Iraq can be a model for the entire region. We think an Iraq that is inclusive and brings together all people -- Sunni, Shia, Kurd -- together to build a country, to build a nation, can be a model for others that are aspiring to create democracy in the region.” Yes, one feature of the Arab Spring was how protesters in Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, etc all said that they want to be just like Iraq.


Christi Parsons of the Chicago Tribune asked if Obama still thinks the Iraq War is a “dumb war.” For some reason he neglected to answer: “I think history will judge the original decision to go into Iraq. But what’s absolutely clear is, as a consequence of the enormous sacrifices that have been made by American soldiers and civilians -- American troops and civilians -- as well as the courage of the Iraqi people, that what we have now achieved is an Iraq that is self-governing, that is inclusive, and that has enormous potential.”

Obama thanks the people who’ve worked on Iraq, although perhaps “a bang-up job” was not the most sensitive expression to use.

New Eek, indeed

Also, I have nothing to say about Romney right now, but I do have a new nickname for him: The Ten Thousand Dollar Man.

Today -100: December 12, 1911: Of dancing and wars

The Socialist administration in Milwaukee adds dancing to the school curriculum. Not sure why that’s news, much less front-page news, but Emma Goldman should be pleased.

The NYT pooh-poohs Secretary of War Stimson’s report, saying it doesn’t matter that the army is woefully ill-equipped for a war, because there won’t be one. So that’s okay then.

Republican Debate: Ten-thousand-dollar bet?

No transcript available, so this’ll be a bit jumbled.

Romney came out firmly against lunar colonies.

Bachmann talked about “Newt Romney,” which is either a reference to their both having supported a health insurance mandate in the past, or to some slash fic she’s been posting anonymously on the internet.


Tweaked again by Perry about removing from the paperback edition of his book a reference to extending Romneycare nationwide, Twitt responded, “I’ll tell you what: 10,000 bucks? Ten-thousand-dollar bet?” At which point, they might as well have turned off the cameras and gone home, since that’s all anyone will remember. What’s interesting about the rich guy mistakes – this, demolishing the mansion in San Diego to build an even bigger mansion, etc – is that he keeps making them over and over.


MA, MA, WHERE’S MY PA? I don’t know what it says about the state of politics that it won’t have occurred to most viewers that there’s something out of the ordinary about a candidate talking about another candidate’s sex life. I don’t think Blaine went after Cleveland’s alleged illegitimate child personally. Rick Perry, though: “If you cheat on your wife, you’ll cheat on your business partner, so I think that issue of fidelity is important.”

GONE TO THE WHITE HOUSE, HA HA HA: Gingrich responded, “I’ve said in my case, I’ve made mistakes at times -- I’m also a 68-year-old grandfather and I think people have to measure what I do now.” I think he’s saying that he can’t get it up anymore, so the White House interns are probably safe. I wonder how Callista feels about the affair that turned into her marriage being referred to as a “mistake.” And about those grandchildren – their grandmother was the woman with cancer you divorced. Gingrich says “I’ve had to go to God for forgiveness.” So that’s okay then.


In the talk about Israel, Gingrich and Romney both tried to position themselves as close as possible to their good friend “Bibi,” promising to subordinate their Middle East policies not just to Israel but to Likud. Romney literally said that before he’d make a statement like Gingrich’s about the Palestinians being an invented people, he’d call Bibi and ask permission. No one had a sympathetic word for the Palestinians and several strongly implied that they were all terrorists. Gingrich doubled down on the “invented people” thing – “I spoke as a historian” (and he usually gets $1.6 million for that) – why, he says, the term “Palestinian” was never even heard before 1977. Also, speaking the “truth” about Palestinians’ non-existence makes him exactly like Reagan calling the Soviet Union an evil empire. He complained that “we [are] in a situation where every day rockets are fired into Israel” – every day? I think not – “while the United States -- the current administration, tries to pressure the Israelis into a peace process.” You know when you need a peace process? When rockets are fired into your country “every day.” Mittens said Gingrich threw “incendiary words into a place which is a boiling pot.” If it’s already boiling, then... oh, never mind.


Romney accused Gingrich of being a, gasp, career politician, and G. shot back, “The only reason you didn’t become a career politician is that you lost to Teddy Kennedy in 1994.” Romney said, “Losing to Teddy Kennedy was probably the best thing I could have done.” Boy, he’s just lucky that way.

The candidates were asked to prove that they understood what it’s like to be poor even though none of them are poor. Perry said he didn’t have running water growing up; Gingrich said he once lived in an apartment over a gas station. Romney admits he’s never been poor, but his father was, so that’s close enough. Michele Bachmann says she still clips coupons, which brings up the frightening prospect of Michele Bachmann with a pair of scissors.


Bachmann praises Herman Cain for teaching her to “reduce things to a very simple level so people can understand it” and now “you can’t have a debate without saying 9-9-9,” but rather than “9-9-9,” her motto will be “win, win, win.”



(Update: Gingrich on Palestine: “These people are terrorists. They teach terrorism in their schools. They have textbooks that say, ‘If there are 13 Jews and nine Jews are killed, how many Jews are left?’” ABC did not give a reaction shot of Rick Perry, but I’ll bet he was working it out on his fingers.)

Today -100: December 11, 1911: Of armies

Secretary of War Henry Stimson, in his annual report, says that the army is totally unprepared for war, under-equipped and scattered across the country (originally to defend against Indian attack). He wants to reduce the term of enlistment from 3 years to 2 years, so the number of reserves will be higher.

He also urges that Puerto Ricans be given citizenship (the colony was under the War Office).

5,000 Turkish troops have entered Persia (shouldn’t they be fighting the Italians in Libya?) and won’t leave until the Russian troops are withdrawn.

Today -100: December 10, 1911: Of radium, lily-white Harlem, the Little Sisters of the Poor, and beating deaf-mutes

Fad of the Day -100: “Radium Cure a Fad of Paris Society.” Just sit in a room whose air is infused with radium for a couple of hours while you play bridge or whatnot, and your rheumatism and heart ailments will be cured.

Some doctor in Paris has determined that if a fetus’s heartbeat is more than 150 beats per minute, it is a girl. Another French professor insists that this means that one can control the sex of one’s offspring. The father could take adrenalin to have a daughter. Yeah, I don’t know how he thinks that would work either.

Property-owners in yet another section of Harlem have joined together to pledge not to rent or sell to black people. It is expected that these organizations will spread and that Harlem will soon be entirely white. The NYT says the black population of NYC is 97,000. According to the 1910 census, the city’s total population was 4.7 million.

New York state Supreme Court Justice Leonard Giegerich approves a child custody agreement in which the ex-wife is allowed custody of the couple’s 3-year-old daughter so long as she doesn’t employ a negro maid.

Some time back, France ordered all religious orders dissolved. Most are now gone and their properties seized by the government, but the Little Sisters of the Poor, who escaped notice because they are little, I guess, are barricading themselves in their convents, because the Little Sisters of the Poor are also totally bad-ass, I guess. Catholic mobs are attacking the homes of people who buy the property formerly held by the orders (and in Lyons they attacked a Jewish synagogue, because why not?).

Headline of the Day -100: “Pennington Beats Deaf Mutes.”

In basketball.

Tulane called, they want their PhD back

Newt Gingrich says Palestinians are “an invented people,” adding, “Oh, wait, or is that Hobbits? I always get those two confused.”

Evidently Palestine can’t be a state because “It was part of the Ottoman Empire.” So was Israel. So was Libya. So was Greece. What’s your point? And just why did West Georgia College deny you tenure, anyway?

Today -100: December 9, 1911: Of apologies and concrete furniture

The Japanese emperor’s train was delayed an hour because a carriage derailed due to of a misplaced switch. The train superintendent, naturally, atoned for his shame in keeping the emperor waiting by committing suicide (throwing himself under a train, naturally).

Some time ago, Thomas Edison announced plans to build concrete houses which would cost just $1,000. Now, he adds that he will also sell concrete furniture, costing $200 to furnish the $1,000 house and, says Edison, “more artistic and more durable than is now to be found in the most palatial residence in Paris or along the Rhine.”

In other technology news, the California National Guard is experimenting with using wireless telephones, automobiles and airplanes for scouting.

Alongside bubble gum or batteries

Obama took a few questions today. Orally.

Asked whether he’s guilty of appeasement in the Middle East: “Ask Osama bin Laden and the 22-out-of-30 top al Qaeda leaders
who’ve been taken off the field whether I engage in appeasement. Or whoever is left out there, ask them about that.” And the transformation into George W. Bush is now complete.

He fully supports, “as the father of two daughters,” Kathleen Sibelius’s refusal to let women under 17 get Plan B without a prescription, which he considers to be simply the application of “some common sense.” No good ever came attached to the words “common sense” coming from the mouth of any politician. He said little girls shouldn’t be able, “alongside bubble gum or batteries -- be able to buy a medication that potentially, if not used properly, could end up having an adverse effect. And I think most parents would probably feel the same way. ... And her judgment was that there was not enough evidence that this potentially could be used improperly in a way that had adverse health effects on those young people.”

We’re talking about a pill (evidently a single pill rather than two, as I said yesterday, at least in the version of the medication affected by this decision), so used improperly how? Does he think they’ll stick it up their nostrils?

Today -100: December 8, 1911: Of the hot-headed student class

Sophisticated NYT analysis of the situation in China: “The hot-headed student class is powerful in China, and is enforcing extreme demands because of the racial timidity of the elders”.

Use only as directed, and not for any sex-based cults

Health and Human Services Sec. Kathleen Sibelius overrules the FDA and refuses to allow Plan B (the morning after pill) to be made available without a prescription to women under 17 years old. She bases this entirely on the stupidity of adolescent girls: “However, the switch from prescription to over the counter for this product requires that we have enough evidence to show that those who use this medicine can understand the label and use the product appropriately.”

So what does the label say that is so hard to comprehend? When the Bush FDA likewise refused to allow the drug to be sold over the counter to minors in 2004, it made the same claim, and since the media didn’t bother telling us what the drug’s instructions were (I bet they won’t today either), I went to my local pharmacy and asked them to print them out. Those instructions: take one pill. 12 hours later, take another pill. That’s it.

In private, by the way, the FDA’s deputy operations commissioner in 2004 privately “stated that we could not anticipate, or prevent extreme promiscuous behaviors such as the medication taking on an ‘urban legend’ status that would lead adolescents to form sex-based cults centered around the use of Plan B.” Sibelius probably isn’t saying as nutty as that behind closed doors but the upshot is that she’s still giving us the exact same policy.

Transcription error of the day

“Trance gender people.” The mind boggles.

Suggest possible definitions (and examples) of trance gender people in comments.

Today -100: December 7, 1911: Of regents and passports

In China, Prince Chun, father of the child-emperor, resigns as regent. This is announced in an edict which says “He wept and prayed to resign the Regency, at the same time expressing his earnest intention to abstain from politics.” Basically, they sacrificed him in the hopes of saving the emperor, which (spoiler alert) is too little, way too late.

A large meeting at Carnegie Hall demands the abrogation of the 1832 treaty with Russia unless it honors the passports of American Jews. There has been a groundswell of demand for this lately, and the speakers at this meeting include Speaker of the House Champ Clark, William Randolph Hearst, Gov. Woodrow Wilson and assorted members of Congress.

If it was good enough for John Kerry...

Romney proselytized in France (neatly avoiding Vietnam); Gingrich researched his dissertation in Belgium (neatly avoiding Vietnam). How many of the Republican candidates are hiding the shameful secret that they... speak French?

Today -100: December 6, 1911: Of lynchings, blasphemy, good government and women voters, and the State of the Union

NYT Index Typo of the Day: “ENGAGED WOMEN MOB TRIANGLE WAIST MEN.” Enraged, of course.

A mob at the ironically named Valliant, Oklahoma, lynches a black man, hanging him at the fairgrounds.

And in Washington, Georgia, a T. B. Walker evidently murdered a white guy, then escaped from a lynch mob, was captured and sentenced to hanging, escaped, was recaptured, then was shot in the face by the brother of his victim (the brother will not be tried for this attempted murder) as he was standing in court being re-sentenced, and was executed just three hours later (so quickly because they were afraid he’d manage to escape again).

The London Times reports that Thomas William Steward, president of Free Thought Socialist League and of the British Secular League, has been convicted of blasphemy and sentenced to 3 months for saying “God is not a fit companion for a respectable man like me.”

Los Angeles Mayor George Alexander (Good Government Party) is re-elected, soundly defeating Socialist candidate Job Harriman, who can’t have been helped by being one of the lawyers for the McNamara brothers, who confessed to that little dynamiting job just last week. Even Alexander is at least a little socialist, supporting municipalization of telephones and utilities, including bakeries. A prohibition proposition for the city fails, badly. Women, voting for the first time, had a turn-out of over 90% and more women voted than men.

Taft issues his third State of the Union address, or at least the first part of it, dealing with corporation law. He calls again for provision for corporations to be (voluntarily) incorporated at the national rather than state level. That got nowhere after his SOTU two years ago, so he uses... the exact same words. He also insists that the Sherman Anti-Trust Act not be amended to reverse the Supreme Court’s ruling that it applied only to “unreasonable” restraint of trade. He thinks that as the Act becomes “better understood” over time, judges and juries will become more willing to imprison people who violate it than they have been up until now.

Today -100: December 5, 1911: Of weeping witnesses and Southern women

The trial of the owners of the Triangle Waist Company for manslaughter begins. Prospective jurors are asked if they would give the defendants a fair trial “if many of the witnesses called by the prosecution should weep while testifying”.

By the way, you’d think someone would have warned Max Blanck that if you’re accused of being a heartless capitalist responsible for the deaths of 147 of your sweated employees, you maybe shouldn’t wear a large diamond in your lapel.

Letter to the Editor of the Day -100:

Today -100: December 4, 1911: Of race wars and air ships

Racial violence in Mannford, Oklahoma has killed five people (2 white, 3 black) so far. It started when a negro who’d held up three people was first shot by a posse, then seized from a deputy and lynched.

The German military is planning to build a dirigible that can carry 300 persons, though it doesn’t explain how that would be militarily useful.

Safety measures

Here’s a detail about the British Grenadier guardsman convicted by court-martial for stabbing a 10-year-old Afghan boy, Ghulam Nabi, in the kidney with a bayonet: He had been drinking heavily the night before his unit went out on patrol. When they did, “[Daniel] Crook followed, arming himself with two grenades and a bayonet because his rifle had been confiscated as a safety measure.” I think I can see a tiny flaw in their safety measures.

Crook was actually convicted in June, but the whole thing was kept under wraps. The Guardian just uncovered it.

18 months, by the way, is the sentence for bayoneting a child.

And $800 is what the British military pays to a family whose child one of its members bayoneted.

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Donald Trump is to moderate a Republican presidential debate. This must be some definition of the word “moderate” I’ve just never come across before.

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Watched the movie “Fair Game” last night. ’s okay. I can’t find out what Scooter Libby’s been doing with himself, and doing for a living, for the last four or five years. Anyone know?

Today -100: December 3, 1911: Of tame affairs and carriers

Headline of the Day -100: “Capture of Nanking Was a Tame Affair.” Everyone’s a critic.

Mary Mallon, aka “Typhoid Mary,” sues the NYC Health Dept for $50,000 for holding her in isolation for three years (until last year), claiming she never had typhoid fever – which is true, she was a carrier – and that she has been unable to follow her trade as a cook since her release.

Today -100: December 2, 1911: Of ultimata and confessions

Rebels take Nanking.

Persia’s National Council rejects Russia’s ultimatum (despite a telegram from British Foreign Minister Edward Grey advising they give in).

On the eve of their trial, the McNamara brothers confess to dynamiting the LA Times building. Organized labor, which had strongly believed that the McNamara brothers were framed, is devastated.

A happy ending

President Karzai finally intervenes in the case of a 19-year-old rape victim named Gulnaz. She will be released from prison, where she was placed for “adultery,” along with the child of rape she give birth to in prison, as long as she marries her rapist (this deal would also release him from prison, because of course it would). Out of one prison into the larger prison of forced marriage and the still larger prison for women that is Afghanistan.

Today -100: December 1, 1911: Of atrocities, mummers, negro invasions, and hissing

The US sends warships to Santo Domingo to “protect foreign interests” and insist on the strict observation of the constitution in replacing assassinated President Ramon Caceras. Because the United States has always been all about observing constitutional requirements in the replacement of Latin American presidents.

Italy claims that the Turks and Arabs fighting them in Libya have committed atrocities. Lots and lots of atrocities. Burying prisoners up to the neck to starve to death, crucifixions, etc.

Mummers were out in the street for Thanksgiving, as used to be the custom. Trouble occurred at 112th Street and 3rd in New York when someone spotted a black man and a white woman together. A stone was thrown and the couple ran from a growing mob, finally with the assistance of a cop getting on a trolley car and escaping. Thing is, the inter-racial couple were actually two white male youths, one in black face and the other in a Columbine suit with a white wig.

Not-At-All-Racist Headline of the Day -100: “Invasion of Negroes Cuts Harlem Values.”

The NYT editorializes that hissing is not acceptable in theaters. “The art of acting was never improved by hissing.”

Today -100: November 30, 1911: Of ultimata, turkeys, and corn

Russia says that if Persia doesn’t give in to its demands within 48 hours, Russian troops will march on Teheran and add the cost of that to the indemnity. Not only must Persia’s American treasurer be fired, but no more foreigners may be hired without the permission of Russia and Britain.

Revolutionaries fail to take Nanking. The US offers the emperor 2,500 troops currently stationed in the Philippines to keep open the Peking Railway and protect foreigners.

Headline of the Day -100: “Women Howl Down Asquith.” Suffragists, of course, prevent the prime minister delivering a speech on settlement work. Another speaker, future prime minister and class traitor Ramsay MacDonald, describes the heckling as an insult to the prime minister and a degradation of English public life.

Thanksgiving Headline of the Day -100: “40-Lb. Turkey for Taft.” Insert your own Taft-is-fat joke here.

Evidently competitive eating is not a recently created sport. One Charles W. Glidden of Lawrence, Massachusetts is betting $25 that he can eat... well, a whole disgusting menu I won’t repeat here. Glidden “broke into fame not long ago by eating 58 ears of corn in 115 minutes.” Piker. The current corn-eating record is 46 ears of corn in 12 minutes, set by Joe LaRue in 2010.

Today -100: November 29, 1911: Of Greek, the other yellow peril, and bulls

Oxford University rejects a proposal to allow math and science students to skip the Ancient Greek requirement.

Harvard University rejects British suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst, denying her the use of any Harvard building in which to make a speech, on the grounds that Harvard is a man’s college, and women should not be allowed to speak in it.

A national anti-women’s suffrage association has been formed. Its slogan will be “Down With the Yellow Peril, Women’s Votes!” (yellow being the color of the suffrage movement.) It will be led by a Mrs. Arthur Dodge, who says that the heavy voter registration of women in California does not indicate that women really want the vote. Rather, it was discovered that “the lower element among the women” were registering in order to vote Socialist; naturally, men of the better sort responded by “sen[ding] their wives and daughters” to register.

Russia is demanding that Persia fire its treasurer-general, the American W. Morgan Shuster, and pay an indemnity to compensate Russia for the cost of sending its troops to threaten Persia.

Headline of the Day -100: LAT: “BULL FIGHTS AEROPLANE.” Broke both its wings, too.

The plane’s wings, not the bull’s.

It’s probably an infinite number of people who could come forward with a story

Gov. Brownback has apologized for his staff going ballistic on Emma Sullivan’s tweet, and her high school decided she won’t have to write a letter of apology after all – after she refused to write one. Does anyone doubt that if she’d caved to all the pressure they put on her, they’d simply have made a show of accepting her apology “gracefully” (by which I mean smugly) rather than be forced to acknowledge her First Amendment rights?

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Herman Cain was on Wolf Blitzer’s The Situation Comedy Room tonight.

On Pakistan Army Chief of Staff General Kayani: “I have faith in him because I’ve actually talked with someone who went to school with him.”

On the newest accusation of a 13-year affair: “it’s going to be proved that it was probably something else that was baseless.” Probably.

Also, he’s met a lot of people, so “A hundred thousand people could possibly come out. ... it’s probably an infinite number of people who could come forward with a story.” Probably.

“As long as my wife is behind me, and as long as my wife believes that I should stay in this race, I’m staying in this race”. Is it at all creepy that the man accused of all sorts of sexual improprieties always refers to his wife as “my wife” (7 times in the course of this interview) and never by her actual name? Is he afraid he’ll accidentally call her by some other woman’s name?

What is he doing next? “When I go to this fundraiser that I’m permitted to go with supporters, I am going to have a nice steak dinner. When you’ve done nothing wrong, I’m going to continue my routine as normal as planned.” So is having a nice steak dinner proof that he’s done nothing wrong, or is it a euphemism for... something? Answers in comments, please.

Today -100: November 28, 1911: Of burning halibut capitals, un-Roman behavior, sedatives for political alcoholism, and radioactive love letters

Canadian Headline of the Day -100: “A Canadian Capitol in Ruins.” All the government buildings in Prince Rupert burned down. Wikipedia says Prince Rupert was the Halibut Capital of the World until the early 1980s, so this is a pretty big deal.

A Brooklyn judge offers one Antonio Scarrello a suspended sentence on a knife charge if he’ll return to Italy, join the army and go to Libya to fight the dreaded Turk. Scarrello thinks not. The judge sentences him to one year, commenting, “Evidently your blood is not the same as that of the old Romans.”

Rep. Victor Berger (Socialist-Wisc.) says he will introduce a bill for women’s suffrage, although women “probably will make a frightful botch of the ballot at first”.

Germany removes its gunboats from Morocco, officially ending the crisis.

British Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey gives a statement to Parliament relating the history of negotiations with Germany about Morocco. He hopes, he says, that the speech will be “a sedative to a world which has been indulging in a fit of political alcoholism”. He claims, as does PM Asquith later, that British has no secret treaties. They are lying. He says “I do not believe that Germany has aggressive designs”. Er, okay then.

In the debate that followed, Irish Nationalist John Dillon points out that in Grey’s hour and a half speech, there was no word of sympathy for the people of Morocco.

Riots in Lisbon, with exchanges of gunfire between troops and rioters, leading to at least two deaths. Is this a royalist counter-revolution or, as the NYT claims, were the riots caused by the expulsion of two Chinese women for selling phony blindness cures?

The NYT reprints Marie Curie’s love letters at surprising length.

Quote of the Day

The Bachmann: “This type of amnesty will only encourage other illegals to enter our country illegally.”

Today -100: November 27, 1911: Of denials, Marxes, heavenly spirits, and executions

Teddy Roosevelt again denies that he’s running for president in 1912, or that he’s supporting Taft, La Follette, or anyone else.

Karl Marx’s daughter Laura commits suicide along with her husband, French socialist (and Karl Marx translator) Paul Lafargue, because they were all old and stuff. Some dude named Lenin will speak at their funeral.

The regent for the Chinese boy-emperor takes an oath to uphold the new revolutionary Constitution, organize a new parliament and exclude nobles from administrative posts. “I and my descendants will adhere to it forever. Your heavenly spirits will see and understand.”

Man Bites Dog -100: A white man will be executed in Georgia for killing a black woman and her daughter. First time a white person has ever been executed for killing a black person.

Today -100: November 26, 1911: Of secession, bathtub trust, duels, suffrage babies, unnecessary lynchings, and un-naked savages

Oaxaca state secedes from Mexico, or at any rate its Legislature and governor refuse to recognize the Madero government.

There are great plans to celebrate 100 years of peace between Britain and the US in 1915. I predict that 1915 will be all about peace.

Headline of the Day -100: “Against Bathtub Trust.”

Another duel related to Marie Curie. This time, at last, one of the duellists is the dude alleged to be having the affair with her, Prof. Langevin. Pathetically, both parties fired their pistols into the air. (Headline: “Curie Duel a Fizzle.”)

Members of the Illinois Equal Suffrage Association will hold a “suffrage baby show” at the county fair, to show that suffragists can raise pretty babies, or something. There will also be a cooking contest. This must be some definition of feminism with which I am not familiar.

Kaiser Wilhelm II catches a cold driving an open automobile. He likes driving fast. Mrs. Kaiser can’t stop him, but she did stop him going up in a dirigible or down in a submarine, because she never lets him have any fun.

The NYT Sunday magazine section has a lengthy article about Alabama Governor Emmet O’Neal’s views about the current state of the South, under the headline “Lynching Unnecessary, Says Alabama’s Governor.” He says that whites used to be “compelled” to use violence to maintain “law and order” (Define law. Define order.) before the state’s 1901 constitution, whose literacy tests and poll taxes effectively disfranchised most blacks (and a lot of poor whites) in the state, leaving almost no voters at all in the 14 Black Belt counties. O’Neal says that blacks’ failure since then to acquire the education and cash necessary to vote in Alabama shows they really aren’t interested in voting, and indeed their failure to pay the poll tax just proves them “unfit to vote” (or that they know that “literacy tests” administered by racist fucks like yourself will mean it would just be a waste of $1.50.) He bemoans that blacks are leaving agriculture, where they are “more contented and freer from crime” and “most easily controlled.” He says the South went prohibition to keep booze away from blacks, not because blacks are natural alcoholics, but because the quality of the alcohol sold to them was so bad. He says lynching has died out in Alabama because of a provision in the 1901 constitution allowing governors to remove sheriffs who allow lynchings to take place (O’Neal has used this provision once). Mob violence is “no necessity in any Southern state,” he says.

The LAT reports the great news out of our newest colony, the Philippines: “A million naked savages are putting on dresses or pantaloons. Gory head-hunters are washing their hands and going to work.” They’re even wearing shoes and tucking in their shirts now. So conquering them was totally worth it.

Today -100: November 25, 1911: Of non-lynchings, aerial warfare, and duels

In Spring Hill, Kansas, a black man accused of attacking a 14-year-old white girl is saved from lynching by her father, who says that the law should be allowed to take its course.

The Chinese revolutionaries are said to be purchasing 13 airships in the US for their attack on Peking.

Another duel in France over Marie Curie’s alleged sex life, this time between a writer in Gil Blas and an anti-Semitic editor.

Today -100: November 24, 1911: Of blockades and duels

Italy, annoyed and bewildered by Turkey’s continued refusal to give in over Libya, plans to blockade the Dardanelles. Russia will not be best pleased.

The editor of French literary journal Gil Blas and the editor of the far-right newspaper L’Action Française duel over whether Madame Curie is fucking a professor.

I mean, jurors are human beings

The Arkansas Supreme Court is hearing an appeal for a death penalty case in which one juror was found to be using Twitter – from the jury box – and another was asleep. Neither were bounced from the state, a practice which the state of Arkansas is defending. The assistant attorney general says the first guy only tweeted a few times, and only about his feelings about the trial, not about its substance (he was caught doing it during the trial, was questioned by the judge, and went right back to doing it from the deliberation room).

The other juror had his eyes closed. Asked by the judge if he’d missed anything, he said, “Not really.” Which was good enough for the judge. And for the assistant attorney general, who points out that it was after all a long trial, and he seems to have heard “the vast majority of the evidence.” “I mean, jurors are human beings.”

Further, the judge told the jury that the state supreme court would automatically review any death sentence, suggesting that they didn’t have to worry their little heads too much about making a mistake. They used to pull that shit pretty regularly in Texas. I thought the Supreme Court had stomped on that practice, but I may recollect incorrectly.

Liberty is ugly, and also media-savvy

Forgot to mention that the high school students who raised the pardoned turkeys gave them media training, exposing them to loud noises and flash bulbs, so they wouldn’t embarrass the president. In Nixon’s day, they just nailed the turkey’s feet down (true story, I think G. Gordon Liddy must have been in charge).

Man, is Liberty ugly

President Obama pardoned two turkeys today, making his total pardons 6 turkeys and 22 human beings.


The turkeys are named Liberty and Peace, and once again Obama has discontinued the practice of the Bush years, in which the American people voted on the turkeys’ names, as is our constitutional right. It is therefore up to this blog to take up the slack (okay, I’m a little late this year). NAME THOSE BIRDS! Some suggestions to start you off:

• Occupy and WallStreet
• Pepper and Spray
• 99 and Percent
• Robot and Drone
• Super and Committee

The face of Liberty, the ugly, ugly face of Liberty

Republican Foreign Policy Debate: All of us will be in danger for the rest of our lives

Tonight’s debate was brought to you by the Heritage Foundation, the American Enterprise Institute, and Satan. Some of the questions came from Ed Meese, Paul Wolfowitz, and David Addington, a reminder that as bumbling, inept, proudly ignorant, and tongue-tied as this bunch of candidates might be, their party has behind them a talent pool of some of the most evil bastards in the world ready to staff their administration.

Transcript.

“I’m Wolf Blitzer and yes, that’s my real name.”

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE?: Ron Paul’s opening statement: “I am convinced that needless and unnecessary wars are a great detriment.”

WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, WILLARD? Romney: “I’m Mitt Romney and yes, Wolf, that’s also my first name.”


AN HONEST UNDERSTANDING: Gingrich wants to extend the Patriot Act forever, and strengthen it, “building an honest understanding that all of us will be in danger for the rest of our lives.”

Ron Paul responds, “you never have to give up liberty for security,” and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike.

WHAT WE HAVE TO REALIZE: Bachmann: “We have to realize we’re in a very different war”. She repeats her line from two debates ago about Obama “hand[ing] over our interrogation of terrorists to the ACLU. He has outsourced it to them. Our CIA has no ability to have any form of interrogation for terrorists.” Because it doesn’t count as interrogation if there’s no waterboarding.

SOMEONE WE’LL LOOK AT: Perry wants to privatize the TSA and eliminate unions. Ditto Santorum, who also wants to profile Muslims, especially young male Muslims. “I think Muslims will be someone we’ll look at.” Cain wants “targeted identification.” “If you take a look at the people who are trying to kill us it would be easy to figure out.” Because they look all terroristy, if you know what I mean. About 30 seconds later he calls Blitzer “Blitz.” So much for targeted identification.

WITH THEIR PARTIES AND THEIR LOUD MUSIC, I’M GUESSING: Huntsman says Pakistan is “the country that ought to keep everybody up at night.” He calls Pakistan “a haven for bad behavior.”


Bachmann, who does not know what the word epicenter means, calls Pakistan “the epicenter of dealing with terrorism.” So which is it, a haven or an epicenter? She says the possibility of Al Qaida getting Pakistani nukes “is more than an existential threat. We have to take this very seriously.” She doesn’t know what the word existential means either. She says Pakistan is “kind of like too nuclear to fail.” Perry says he would cut off all aid and send Pakistan to its room until it proves it can be trusted, and then Bachmann calls him naive, so yeah, that happened.

Perry thinks the answer is to get Afghanistan, India and Pakistan into a free-trade zone, which would get “Pakistan to understand that they have to work with all of the countries in that region.”

HEY, MITT, DON’T LET THE PITH HELMET MESS UP YOUR HAIR: “We need to bring Pakistan into the 21st century, or the 20th century for that matter,” just like “what happened in Indonesia back in the 1960s, where -- where we helped Indonesia move toward modernity with new leadership.” And gave them names of people to be killed as part of the genocidal slaughter of a million people. You know, modernity.

Romney says “This is not time for America to cut and run” from Afghanistan. I’m sure he’ll tell us when it is time for America to cut and run.

Gingrich stopped in the middle of talking about killing bin Laden to ask whether he had 30 seconds or longer to give his answer, because “I’m happy to play by the rules, I just want to know what they are.” Which I thought was amusing because he meant play by the rules as far as answering within a given time-frame, not play by the rules against sending troops into a country secretly to kill people. He says Pakistan was furious with us about that, but we should have been furious at them, because Gingrich likes pretending to be furious about things.


Some Heritage Foundation douche asks if we should help Israel attack Iran.

MOUNTAINOUS: Herman Cain reminds us that “when you talk about attacking Iran, it is a very mountainous region.” But “in some instances, depending upon how strong the plan is, we would join with Israel for that, if it was clear what the mission was and it was clear what the definition of victory was.”

victory >noun (pl. victories) an act of defeating an opponent in a battle or competition.
-ORIGIN Latin victoria.

Hope that helps.

Ron Paul says he wouldn’t, because Israel has several hundred nuclear missiles and “they can take care of themselves,” if by take care of themselves you mean turn the Middle East into a radioactive hellscape.

Herman Cain again wants to remind us that Iran is very mountainous. He does not like heights. Hell, he won’t even sexually harass tall women.

It’s like he learns one new fact for each debate, and this one was that Iran is mountainous.

SERIOUS: Perry wants to sanction the Iranian Central Bank and put a no-fly zone over Syria. “And in that moment, they will understand that America is serious.” But then they’d realize it was “President Perry” ordering these things, and understand that America is not serious.

Blitz, as he will no doubt forever henceforth be known, asks if cutting off all Iranian oil wouldn’t wreck the European economy. Gingrich says that his energy program would actually produce an energy surplus in the United States, which would evidently be large enough to “literally replace the Iranian oil.” So the US would suddenly become a huge net exporter of energy with what, dilithium crystals?

The Newtster goes on: “But if we were serious, we could break the Iranian regime, I think, within a year, starting candidly with cutting off the gasoline supply to Iran, and then, frankly, sabotaging the only refinery they have.”


Bachmann says that Obama “met with [Iran] with no preconditions. It’s the doctrine of appeasement.” When did that happen?

Santorum says he supported AIDS assistance to Africa because “Africa was a country on the brink.” Santorum says that “America is that shining city on the hill.” No word from Cain on whether the “country” of Africa is mountainous, but the “city” of America definitely sounds mountainous.

Blitz keeps having to repeat the questions for Cain.

Ron Paul says “the [foreign] aid is all worthless.”

Romney thinks a trillion dollars is being taken out of the defense budget and put into Obamacare. Paul says nonsense, and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike.

Romney says “The right course in America is to stand up to Iran with crippling sanctions” – if I were a psychoanalyst, I’d have hours of fun analyzing Twitt’s notion of “standing up” to someone by “crippling” them. And we should indict Ahmadinejad for violating the Genocide Convention, because why not.

OR MAYBE A NICE CARD: And once he’s president, “my first trip -- my first foreign trip will be to Israel to show the world we care about that country and that region.”

Gingrich says “if we were a serious country,” “we would open up enough oil fields in the next year that the price of oil worldwide would collapse.” Collapse? If we had that as much oil under our feet as he seems to think, well, nobody better light a match. Also, “Lean Six Sigma,” which sounds like the name of one of his crappy novels.

Gingrich says he would bomb Iranian nuclear facilities “only as a last recourse and only as a step toward replacing the regime.” Bombing our way to a friendly regime in Iran, because what could go wrong.


Rick Perry says the supercommittee failed – “it was a super-failure” – because Rick Perry is hilarious. And if Leon Panetta is an honorable man, he will resign to protest the sequestrations. So obviously that will happen, because Little Leon wouldn’t want Rick Perry to think he wasn’t an honorable man.

WHAT HER VOICE(S) SAID: Bachmann: “Let me answer that in the context of the super committee, because I was involved in the middle of that fight as a member of Congress this summer. And my voice said this. I said it’s time for us to draw a line in the sand.”

I KNEW JIMMY MONROE; JIMMY MONROE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE; AND YOU, SIR... Rick Perry: “I think it’s time for a 21st century Monroe Doctrine.” Evidently “We know that Hamas and Hezbollah are working in Mexico, as well as Iran, with their ploy to come into the United States.”

Ron Paul calls for an end to the war on drugs, and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike. He says we should eliminate the entire welfare state, which is just an incentive for illegal immigrants to bring their families.

Gingrich calls for a “humane” immigration policy, with “something like a World War II Selective Service Board that, frankly, reviews the people who are here.” He’d consider letting people who’ve been here 25 years and have grandchildren and are in a local church (he mentioned that twice) stay. “[A]s somebody who believes strongly in family” – why, I’ve had several! – “you’ll have a hard time explaining why that particular subset is being broken up and forced to leave”.

Bachmann, selectively listening to Gingrich, or just not understanding, keeps saying he wants amnesty for 11 million people and a federal DREAM Act. “We need to move away from magnets, not offer more.” Magnets, as we know, scare our Michele, for some reason.


Next up is Romney, who doesn’t like magnets either, because they might get too close to his robotic CPU; he wants to “turn... off the magnets of amnesty”.

Perry is also anti-magnet (they mess his hair up somehow? I got nothin’.)

Romney says “The answer is we’re going to have a system that gives people who come legally a card that identifies them as coming here legally.” Hey, I know, we could make that card yellow, no wait, green, yeah green. “Employers are going to be expected to inspect that card, see if they’re here legally.”

The Blitz helpfully prefaces a question: “Herman Cain, you may not know this, but today Governor Perry called for a no-fly zone, for the U.S. to participate in a no-fly zone over Syria.” He actually did that in this very debate, but yeah, Herman Cain probably doesn’t know this.

You know, I could analyze what Cain and Perry said about Syria, but why?

Oh wait, somewhere in the middle of his answer, Perry started talking about how Syria and Iran are linked, so a no-fly zone over Syria is one of the ways we stop Iran developing nuclear weapons.

Asked about the Arab Spring, Huntsman is talking about the end of the Ottoman Empire.

Paul notes that a no-fly zone would be an act of war. “I would say why don’t we mind our own business?” He is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike.

Romney, perhaps after exposure to a magnet, started gibbering: “President Obama’s foreign policy is one of saying, first of all, America’s just another nation with a flag. I believe America is an exceptional and unique nation. President Obama feels that we’re going to be a nation which has multipolar balancing militaries. I believe that American military superiority is the right course. President Obama says that we have people throughout the world with common interests. I just don’t agree with him. I think there are people in the world that want to oppress other people, that are evil. President Obama seems to think that we’re going to have a global century, an Asian century. I believe we have to have an American century, where America leads the free world and the free world leads the entire world.” He does, however, point out that a no-fly zone in Syria is silly because there’s no bombing.

Someone asks what security issue they’re worried about that nobody has asked them about. Santorum says “militant socialists” in Central and South America “bonding together” with radical Islamists. Paul worries about overreaction and getting into more unnecessary wars, and is immediately pepper-sprayed by Lt. Pike. Perry worries about Communist China which “is destined for the ash heap of history because they are not a country of virtues,” with the forced abortions and cybersecurity. Romney says Hezbollah in Latin America. Cain says cyber attacks. Gingrich says WMD attacks on an American city, electromagnetic pulse attacks, and cyber attacks. Bachmann says Al-Shabaab in Minnesota. Huntsman says the American economy and the trust deficit.

Today -100: November 23, 1911: Of jury duty

The California attorney general rules that the state’s introduction of women’s suffrage does not mean that women are allowed on juries.