Republican Debate: I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that

Did you see that clip where Romney shouted at a protester who asked what someone in the 1% would do for the 99% that he was being divisive and should just go to North Korea and “America is right and you’re wrong” (he was against being divisive before he was for it)? Well, you may be thinking of that as an embarrassing example of a politician losing his shit and wondering if Romney’s temper and snippiness might make him even more unlikeable than he already is, but the Romney campaign wants people to see that clip and sent it out in an email, asking everyone to tweet & facebook it.

On to the debate. In Charleston. But no one did the charleston. Or ate a Charleston chew. Transcript.

DECENT PEOPLE? HOW IS THAT RELEVANT TO THIS SITUATION? The first question is to Gingrich about the “open marriage” thing. He blames the “destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news media,” which “makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract decent people to run for public office. And I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that.” Appalled as he was, he went on: “Every person in here knows personal pain. Every person in here has had someone close to them go through painful things.” And every one of your ex-wives.

TO TAKE AN EX-WIFE: “To take an ex-wife and make it two days before the primary a significant question for a presidential campaign is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine.” Your ex-wives can probably imagine something closer to despicable, and by imagine I mean remember.

WHAT HE’S TIRED OF: “I am tired of the elite media protecting Barack Obama by attacking Republicans.”


AND BY FALLEN, I MEAN NEWT TRIPPED OVER HIS OWN DICK: Santorum says “this country is a very forgiving country. This country understands that we are all fallen”.

What federal programs would put the American people back to work? Ron Paul says the federal government should “get out of the way” and do nothing, and no one is more qualified to do nothing than Ron Paul.

Gingrich would repeal what I’ve just noticed he called the Dodd-Frank “bill.” You would think the former speaker of the House would know that when it’s passed, a bill is called a law.

Romney says just getting rid of Obama will eliminate unemployment.

For the first time Mittens gives a number for jobs destroyed by Bain Capital. 10,000 “that have been documented.” I sense a major asterisk.


WHAT HE’S GOING TO STUFF DOWN OBAMA’S THROAT: Twitt Romney: “I’m someone who believes in free enterprise. I think Adam Smith was right. And I’m going to stand and defend capitalism across this country, throughout this campaign. I know we’re going to get hit hard from President Obama, but we’re going to stuff it down his throat and point out it is capitalism and freedom that makes America strong.” Stuffing and pointing.

MORE FOOD AND HEALTH CARE? THE BASTARD! Santorum says all Obama wants to do for the poor is “make them more dependent, give them more food stamps, give them more Medicaid.”

THEY HAVE THE BEST METH LABS IN THE WORLD: Santorum: “South Carolina can compete with anybody in this world in manufacturing.”

Santorum seems to say (there’s slippage between talking about Vietnam and talking about the present)(maybe I shouldn’t use the word slippage when talking about santorum) that veterans coming back from the war “very damaged” is “a very big part of the high unemployment rate that we’re dealing with” and claims that Obama “said he is going to cut veterans benefits”. Romney wants the states to get block grants to deal with veterans.

Gingrich says that we don’t actually need the provision for people up to 26 staying on their parents’ insurance, which Obama only wanted because “he can’t get any jobs for them to go out and buy their own insurance.” Under a President Gingrich, everyone will have jobs at 18 and all the colleges will be closed.


AND DINOSAURS ROAMED THE EARTH: Ron Paul claims that when he was practicing medicine in the early 1960s “before we had any government,” “there was nobody out in the street suffering with no medical care.” Um, right.

Santorum: “Grandiosity has never been a problem with Newt Gingrich.” Gingrich says it’s a grandiose country.

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: Santorum: “I mean, Newt’s -- Newt’s a friend. I love him. But at times, you’ve just got, you know, sort of that, you know, worrisome moment that something’s going to pop.” Santorum shouldn’t be talking about “something’s going to pop.”

Romney: “We need to have someone outside Washington go to Washington.”

Romney deflates Gingrich’s pretense that he and Ronald Reagan were Batman and Robin only, you know, gayer, by noting that Gingrich is mentioned only once in Reagan’s diary, and not favorably.

Newt Gingrich released his returns online at around the time the debate started. Ron Paul says he won’t release his tax returns because “I don’t want to be embarrassed because I don’t have a greater income.” Romney says he won’t release his before he secures the nomination “Because I want to make sure that I beat President Obama. And every time we release things drip by drip, the Democrats go out with another array of attacks.” So he won’t release them because there’s stuff in there that can be used to attack him. But, he says, “I pay a lot of taxes.”


Everyone is against SOPA. Although Santorum says, “The Internet is not a free zone where anybody can do anything they want to do and trample the rights of other people”. I wonder what he could be thinking of.

Gingrich wants a guest worker program run by American Express, Visa or MasterCard, “because they can run it without fraud and the federal government’s hopeless.” And he elaborates on his idea of residency for illegal immigrants who have been here 25 years. The local draft board type thing could only give them residency; to get citizenship they’d actually have to go back to their country of origin and wait behind everybody else for a few years.

Santorum says he’s the grandson of an immigrant, so he’d be tougher on immigrants than the other candidates. In the transcript, the second word in the following quote is “agree” but I think he actually said grieve: “I agree/grieve for people who have been here 25 years and maybe have to be separated from their family if they were picked up and deported, but my father grieved for his father when he came to this country and lived here five years.” And if it’s good enough for his grandfather...

Ron Paul says we have illegal immigrants because Americans aren’t forced to take crap jobs for no money: “There’s an economic incentive for them to come, for immigrants to come. But there’s also an incentive for some of our people in this country not to take a job that’s a low-paying job. You’re not supposed to say that, but that is true.”


A EXPERIENCE IN A LAB: Gingrich: “Governor Romney has said that he had a experience in a lab and became pro-life, and I accept that.”

YOU’LL TELL US WHEN IT IS THE TIME TO BE DOUBTING PEOPLE’S WORDS OR QUESTIONING THEIR INTEGRITY, RIGHT? Romney: “It is -- this is not the time to be doubting people’s words or questioning their integrity. I’m pro-life.”

Paul says if government spends any money on medicine it will wind up funding abortion because “all funds are fungible.” He adds, “I see abortion as a violent act. All other violence is handled by the states -- murder, burglary, violence. That’s a state issue.” And he wants Congress to vote to remove abortion from the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court.

THE RIGHT OF OUR CREATOR TO LIFE: Santorum attacks Paul for saying abortion is a state issue: “you should have the willingness to stand up on a federal law and every level of government and protect what our Declaration protects, which is the right of our creator to life, and that is a federal issue, not a state issue.” Ron Paul wants to kill God, is what Santorum is saying.

Today -100: January 20, 1912: Of recognition, arguing Cubans, and cars

The new republican government of China asks the world powers to recognize it.

Headline of the Day -100: “Cubans May Come to Argue with Taft.” Members of the Cuban Veterans’ Committee. The NYT claims that the commercial classes of Cuba want annexation by the US.

Theodore Roosevelt – this is of course front-page news – now drives a car. But he prefers horses.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall

With Governor Goodhair gone (see what I did there?),

poll by twiigs.com

Today -100: January 19, 1912: Of pardons, spies, and mighty good godfathers

President Taft pardons Charles Morse, a banker, shipping magnate, speculator, and general scumbag, who in his illustrious career cornered, or attempted to corner, the market in various products, including ice, and whose machinations single-handedly caused the Panic of 1907. He’s been in prison only two years on a 15-year sentence for misappropriating bank funds, but all his friends and lobbyists have been incessantly pressuring Taft. Now he’s reported to be near death from Bright’s disease. In fact, he’s faking it, having ingested chemicals (possibly soapsuds) to produce the symptoms, and will live another 21 years, going back into business and, indeed, criminality (but I repeat myself). Oh, the people he promised to make rich if they helped get him out of prison: he stiffed them.

Germany complains that Russia sent one of their spies to Siberia, when Germany treats other countries’ spies much more leniently.

Following the threat by the US to re-occupy Cuba, things seem to have calmed down there. So it’s time for the press to take a few condescending victory laps. NYT: “The intimation that our Government might interfere to restore order in the republic has brought them to their senses... They know well that if this country is compelled frequently to take over the government of Cuba, and teach the people how to administer their affairs, the time will come inevitably when there will be no further withdrawal.” LA Times: “But Uncle Sam is a mighty good god-father, and when little Cuba breaks out in a fit of bad temper or lawlessness, the sponsor has merely to hold up his finger and the god-child remembers her duty at once.”

Today -100: January 18, 1912: Compare and contrast

Taft sends a message to Congress calling for the end of all patronage in the federal bureaucracy, all posts to be filled by merit.

Alternatively, there’s this: Headline of the Day -100: “Lunatics to Run Railroad.” Really. A six-mile stretch from McManus, Louisiana, to the state asylum at Jackson.

Oh, just take her to the vet and have her put down already

Sarah Palin (who’s more or less endorsing Gingrich): “the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree that he should have been”.

Putting aside the irony of Little Miss Self-Aware complaining about the 2008 vetting process, there’s another irony in Little Miss I Read All the Newspapers basically accusing the United States electorate of ignorance. Also, it’s generally considered bad manners in a democracy to say that the voters made a “mistake.”

Republican Debate: I’m not going to describe all of my great exploits

Transcript.

WHAT, NEVER? NO, NEVER. WHAT, NEVER? WELL, HARDLY EVER. Perry brings up a SC steel mill Bain shut down. Romney blames the Chinese. The WSJ guy brings up a paper company Bain closed. Bain bought it with $5 million of their own money and a lot of debt, then defaulted when the debt crippled what had been a profitable company, and Bain took away $100 million in profits and fees. Romney: “Well, first of all you never want to seen an enterprise go bankrupt.” Never? Because Bain seems to have done very well indeed out of that enterprise going bankrupt.


Romney goes on to explain that Bain also bought another paper company and tried to consolidate the two plants. And by consolidate, he means fire all the unionized workers and offer them jobs in the non-unionized plant. It must take real self-restraint on Romney’s part not to grow a mustache just so that he can twirl it sinisterly when discussing his dastardly plans.

Romney clarified his position: “I don’t think people who have committed violent crimes should be allowed to vote again.”

WAR! Perry said, “The State of Texas is under assault by the federal government. I’m saying also that South Carolina is at war with the federal government and with this administration.” How did that work out for South Carolina last time?

NEWT GINGRICH EXPLAINS HOW TO BECOME EMPLOYABLE: Gingrich says people on unemployment should be forced into job training. At least that’s what will be reported, but what he actually said was “a business-run training program...” (In other words, free labor for corporations) “...to acquire the skills to be employable.” Which assumes that people are unemployed because they are unemployable losers and not because there aren’t any jobs. “Now, the fact is, 99 weeks is an associate degree.” Although under his plan, instead of a degree, you’d get to push a mop or file papers or whatever the “training program” consists of, and at the end get laid off and replaced by more government-provided “uemployables.” “It tells you everything you need to know about the difference between Barack Obama and the five of us, that we actually think work is good.” And he again called Obama “the best food stamp president in American history,” whose goal is “to maximize dependency”. Happy Martin Luther King Day, everybody!

Q: what is the highest federal income tax any American should have to pay? Perry: 7% flat tax. Santorum would have two rates, 10% & 28%. Romney: 25%. Gingrich: flat tax of 15%. Paul: 0.

HE’S HEARD ENOUGH: Will Romney release his tax returns? “time will tell.” “I think I’ve heard enough from folks saying, ‘Let’s see your tax records.’ I have nothing in them that suggests there’s any problem, and I’m happy to do so. I sort of feel like we’re showing a lot of exposure at this point, and if I become our nominee, what’s happened in history is, people have released them in about April of the coming year, and that’s probably what I’d do.” So he’s saying that primary voters don’t deserve that information. I’m also a little confused about whether that’s April of 2012 he’s talking about or 2013 – the “coming year,” he said, and after “I become our nominee,” which won’t happen by April of this year. It’s weird how ill-prepared he is to answer an inevitable question.

A SWEATER-VEST IS ALWAYS A GOOD CHOICE: Santorum attacks Obama for some program aimed at helping at-risk black girls which Sicky says has been banned from propagandizing for marriage. “This administration is deliberately telling organizations that are there to help young girls make good choices, not to tell them what the good choice is.”


Ron Paul says that Martin Luther King would be with him on the drug war thing and the war war thing, which is true, but probably not winning him that many votes among South Carolina Republicans.

Gingrich says it’s not insulting to say that black children should work as janitors in their own schools. Why, he made his daughter do janitorial work at a Baptist church when she was 13, and she learned that “if you worked, you got paid.” And schools can hire 30 black kids for the cost of one NYC school janitor, so they’ll learn that when black kids are forced to work, they get paid crap, and that when adults get paid reasonably well, they’ll be fired and replaced by school children. Happy Martin Luther King Day, everybody!

Paul says the US should have tried to get Pakistan to turn bin Laden over. Everyone jumps on him. Paul, that is, not bin Laden.

AND BY ENEMIES, HE MEANS INDIANS – LOTS AND LOTS OF INDIANS. Gingrich: “Andrew Jackson had a pretty clear-cut idea about America’s enemies: kill them.” He’s a historian, you know.

Paul: “My - my - my point is, if another country does to us what we do others, we’re not going to like it very much. So I would say that maybe we ought to consider a golden rule in - in foreign policy. Don’t do to other nations [BOOING] what we don’t want to have them do to us. So we - we endlessly bomb - we endlessly bomb these countries and then we wonder - wonder why they get upset with us?” I’m pretty sure that booing means the audience wanted other nations to bomb us too.


THE RIGHT THING: Romney: “The right thing for Osama bin Laden was the bullet in the - in the head that he received. That’s the right thing for people who kill American citizens.”

Romney: “The right course for America is to recognize we’re under attack and we’re going to have to take action around the world to protect ourselves, and hopefully we can do it as we did with Osama bin Laden, as opposed to going to war, as we had to do in the case of Iraq.” Had to do? “The right way...to keep us from having to go to those wars is to have a military so strong that no one would ever think of testing it.” How strong is that? We do have nuclear weapons and shit, right?

Romney says it’s wrong to negotiate with the Taliban as long as they’re killing American soldiers. He thinks we should negotiate with the Girl Scouts, because they’re not killing American soldiers. Added bonus: cookies!

Perry said Turkey should be kicked out of NATO because it is “ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamist terrorists.” Of course Rick Perry probably perceives the pope as an Islamist terrorist.

PERRY ALWAYS HEARS GONGS. ALL THE TIME. Perry says to the moderator about Paul, “I was just saying that I thought maybe that the noise that you were looking for was a gong.”


DISDAIN: Perry says that Panetta’s referring to the American soldiers’ urination on dead Afghans as despicable shows “this administration’s disdain all too often for our men and women in uniform.” You know what really shows disdain? Oh, you’re way ahead of me here.

Romney supports indefinite detention, although he admits it “could possibly be abused.” But he’d never abuse that power, so that’s okay then. He even says Obama wouldn’t abuse that power, but then he never says what would actually constitute an abuse of that power, so he may be setting that bar impossibly high, like when Bush said we don’t torture.

BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS “HOPE OF THE EARTH” LIKE A HONKING BIG MILITARY BUDGET: Romney: “We simply cannot continue to cut our Department of Defense budget if we are going to remain the hope of the Earth.”

Romney wants to raise the age of eligibility for Social Security “a year or two.” Gingrich wants to get “the government out of telling you when to retire.”

DELIGHTED: It being South Carolina, where there was suspicion four years ago that Romney didn’t enjoy shooting things as much as a real man does, he was asked whether he’s been keeping up his varmint-hunting. “I’m not going to describe all of my great exploits,” he said (or perhaps that was his explanation for not releasing his tax returns). But he killed a moose – no, wait, an elk! – and some pheasants. “I’m not a serious hunter, but I must admit, I guess I enjoy the sport and when I get invited I’m delighted to be able to go hunting.”


By the way, it’s probably just as well that during the I-love-guns-more-than-you-do portion of the debate, no one brought up the assassination of the guy whose birthday this is.

Gingrich says Mittens’ Super PAC ran ads saying Newt wants to abort adorable Chinese babies. Mittens counter-charges that Gingrich’s Super PAC’s anti-Romney film is “probably the biggest hoax since Bigfoot,” upsetting Ron Paul supporters who believe Bigfoot runs the Fed. He says he wants Super PACs ended. “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could give what they would like to to campaigns?” asks the multi-millionaire.


OH RICK, IF YOU WERE PRESIDENT, YOUR HAND WOULD NEVER BE OFF THE BIBLE: Perry: “And when I’m the president of the United States that border will be locked down and it will be secure by one year from the time I take my hand off the Bible.”

Then they all urinated on Juan Williams, the end.

Today -100: January 17, 1912: Much against its desires

The US chargé d’affaires in Nicaragua evidently asked that the country’s new constitution not be implemented until the new US ambassador arrives, so he can express his opinion on it.

Secretary of State Philander Knox sends a warning to the Cuban government threatening military intervention by the US, “much against its desires,” if they don’t settle the country down. A movement of veterans of the wars of independence against Spain has grown increasingly assertive in its demands (which are basically that the government should be run by veterans of the wars of independence), and members of the active military have been mixing with them despite orders not to. Cuban President Gomez says he thinks there isn’t reason for American intervention, thank you very much.

Scott reaches the South Pole.

Today -100: January 16, 1912: Of secrecy, bayonets, and thunders

The Senate debates in closed session whether to debate the arbitration treaties in secret, but decides to debate them in open session.

The militia charges Lawrence, Massachusetts mill strikers with bayonets, kills one.

NYT Index Typo of the Day: “SAYS ITALY PLANS TO FIGHT AUSTRALIA.” That’s Austria, for crumb’s sake.

Proquest Typo of the Day (LAT story): “GERMANY THUNDERS TRUCK BY SOCIALIST VICTORIES.”

Fact-check of the day

“But neither [Patton nor Churchill] was known to have urinated on human corpses.”

It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that one of the candidates would actually step in to defend pissing on corpses, but if one of them would, yeah, it was always gonna be Rick Perry.

Today -100: January 15, 1912: Mincing around

Raymond Poincaré forms a new French government. He will be both prime minister and foreign minister.

Headline of the Day -100: “More Mince Pie Protests.” The students at Simmons College are allowed it only once a year.

In direct opposition to everything the military stands for

The top US general in Afghanistan, Gen. John R. Allen, said of that video of Marines peeing on dead Afghans that the images “are in direct opposition to everything the military stands for,” adding “first you pee on them, then you shoot them.”

Today -100: January 14, 1912: Of secret talks, obedience, and cranking

The leaking of the fact that there were secret negotiations between France and Germany, which toppled the Caillaux government in France this week, has pissed off Britain, which backed France up as it edged up to war with Germany without having been informed of the talks. Britain is now realizing that it could wind up embroiled in a, to coin a phrase, world war, because its ally is pursuing self-interested policies of which it is kept ignorant.

Germany is rumored to be negotiating to purchase Portugal’s colonies in Africa.

Two British suffragists, Victor Duval and Una Dugdale, got married. The Archbishop of Canterbury sent two priests to monitor the wedding and make sure the word “obey” was included in the marriage vows – although Una refused to repeat that bit after the vicar.

Headline of the Day -100: “Cranking is Dangerous.” 43% of automobile accidents involve the crank kicking back and injuring the autoist, breaking arms and ribs. So self-starters are becoming popular.

“Just like John Kerry”

A month ago, I made a little joke about Romney and Gingrich hiding the shameful secret that they can both speak French. Now Gingrich, who can speak French, puts out an ad making fun of Romney for speaking French. As the French would say, oy vey.

Live and learn, I guess

At the Haditha Massacre court martial of Frank Wuterich, Hector Salinas, asked what he would do differently, besides massacring a bunch of innocent civilians including children and a septuagenarian in a wheelchair, said he would have called in an air strike to level the house with the innocent civilians including children and the septuagenarian in a wheelchair.

Today -100: January 13, 1912: Of fifth columns, war at sea, and socialists

The assistant chief of staff of the Army tells the House Committee on Military Affairs that there are 35,000 former Japanese soldiers living in Hawaii, and that in the event of a war between the US and Japan, they would support Japan.

The war between Italy and Turkey over Libya is still going on, with an exciting new element: a naval battle in the Red Sea (a week ago, actually). As it turns out, the Ottomans suck at fighting wars at sea as bad as they suck at fighting wars on land.

German elections: the Socialists win big in the first round, but mostly at the expense of the center-left parties, so the Conservatives will remain in charge (and much power, including picking the chancellor and his cabinet, is entirely in the hands of the kaiser rather than the Reichstag anyway).

Today -100: January 12, 1912: Of the death penalty, inconsistency, and thrifty negroes

New York Gov. John Dix has come out against the death penalty. There will be a vote in the Legislature shortly.

New Jersey Gov. Woodrow Wilson gives a speech to the National League of Commission Merchants in which he defended inconsistency: “A man who cannot change his mind gives evidence of the most pathetic ignorance.” In other words, yes I wrote about knocking William Jennings Bryan into a cocked hat before and I’m sucking up to him now, deal with it. He also livened up his speech with that staple of political speeches, a darky story (which I didn’t understand, something about an old negro on a train sleeping with his mouth open and someone puts quinine on his tongue and he wakes up and says “Conductor, I’ve done busted my gall.” Maybe you had to be there.)

Condescending Headline of the Day -100 (LAT): “Negroes Becoming Thrifty.” About the spread of negro banks.

Ask a silly question...

From the Haditha Massacre court-martial:

Q: “Why did you shoot the men?”

Corporal (at the time of the Haditha Massacre; of course he’s been promoted to sergeant since his participation in the Haditha Massacre, because of course he has) Sanick Dela Cruz: “Because I wanted to make sure they were dead, sir.”

Quiet rooms?

On NBC today:

Q: Are there no fair questions about the distribution of wealth without it being seen as envy, though?

ROMNEY: I think it’s fine to talk about those things in quiet rooms and discussions about tax policy and the like.

Bathrooms. He means bathrooms, doesn’t he?

This may be a stupid question

but does Mitt Romney actually have health insurance? Did his assumption that you can just “fire” your insurance company when it fails to perform to your satisfaction derive from never having had to deal with one?

On average, health insurance is a bad deal for consumers, obviously, or insurance companies wouldn’t be making profits. We get it because our health care may suddenly become more expensive than that average and more expensive than we can afford. So if a Bill Gates or other mega-millionaire who can easily afford any health care they need for some reason didn’t have their insurance paid for their corporation, simple economic calculation might dictate that they scoff at the idea of forking over premiums to Blue Cross the way the rest of us airily dismiss the Best Buy employee’s query as to whether we’d care to get the extended warranty for that Blu-ray player, because what sort of rubes do they think we are?

I don’t know exactly how much money constitutes “fuck you, Blue Cross” money, but Mittens probably has it. So does he actually health insurance?

The rich are different from you and me. They do not think as we do; they don’t have to.

Today -100: January 11, 1912: Of scandals and fires

Not surprisingly, after the foreign minister resigned rather than lie that French Prime Minister Joseph Caillaux was telling the truth, the government has collapsed.

Didn’t mention it yesterday, but the Equitable Building in NYC burned down. Built in 1870, at 7½ stories it was the first skyscraper. Lots of pictures of the fire here on a blog devoted to pictures of this very building, because there’s a blog for everything, as well there should be.

Caption contest

From Gingrich’s tour of the Sturm, Ruger & Co. factory in New Hampshire last week. Caption the shit out of this puppy.


Bonus pic:

Actually, what he really meant to say was that he likes to set hobos on fire

There are jokes that some people shouldn’t tell, because of who they are. This is why Twitt Romney’s “I like to fire people” line is a problem, despite being basically taken out of context.

For example, George Bush once made a “there’s arsenic in your water glass” joke, ripped off from the movie Erin Brockavitch, evidently not realizing that that gag works when told by someone trying to take dangerous chemicals out of drinking water, like Julia Roberts in the movie, but not from someone who reduced standards on arsenic in drinking water.

In the same way, “I like to fire people” does not sound good when told by someone who has fired thousands of people to audiences that include people who have been on the wrong side of the desk when being fired by someone who looked very much like Mitt Romney and who they strongly suspected was not wearing any pants under that desk, because he really, really liked to fire people, if you know what I mean.

Another problematic Romney line, from one of the weekend debates, “I was happy that [Ted Kennedy] had to take a mortgage out on his house to ultimately defeat me.” It wasn’t just that he was bragging about using his candidacy as an economic weapon, combined with the story about the advice from his father that only rich people should run for office (which seems odder the more I think about it: why would George Romney say that to Mitt, who inherited so much money that he would always be rich, absent a George Bushian level of business incompetence?), it was the assumption that it is always money that wins elections (had to take out a mortgage to ultimately defeat me). How insulting is that to the voters of Massachusetts?

Discriminatory and unnecessary

The 10th Circuit upholds a lower court ruling suspending Oklahoma’s 2010 referendum which banned sharia law as discriminatory and unnecessary, adding, “You know, like Oklahoma itself.”

Today -100: January 10, 1912: Of “reluctant” candidates, resignations, and leather minorities

Theodore Roosevelt says that he will run for president – if the nomination is forced upon him. (Well, maybe: people at the event differ on exactly what he said.)

Since the French-German treaty over Morocco was signed there have been rumors in France that during the main negotiations and threats of war and whatnot, there were parallel secret negotiations between French and German financiers over business interests (railroad concessions in central Africa and Morocco). Prime Minister Joseph Caillaux gave his word of honor that there weren’t, but Foreign Minister Justin de Selves would not back him up when asked by Clemenceau in the Senate to do so, saying that he was caught between a duty to stick to the truth and a duty to the interests of the country. He has resigned.

For the first time, the rank of foreign diplomats in Germany will include a Jew, Sir Francis Oppenheimer, the new commercial attaché at the British Embassy in Berlin. The German court usually... discourages... countries from sending non-Christian diplomats.

Headline of the Day -100: “Leather Minority Restless.” I’ll bet they are, I’ll bet they are.

Underwear News of the Day

Zimbabwe outlaws the sale of used underwear, because ew.

The Zim finance minister says: “If you are a husband and you see your wife buying underwear from the flea market, you would have failed.” The key is in the word “flea.”

The Daily Telegraph has a 15-picture photo gallery, because of course they do, from No Pants Day (No Trousers Day in London, because they talk funny there), wherein people ride subways in their undies.

A town councillor in Vila Velha, Brazil proposes a law that brides be required to wear underwear under their wedding dresses. “The superstitious brides believe it will make their marriages last longer, he explained.”

Today -100: January 9, 1912: Of electric chairs, cocked hats, native reverence & complete submission, and Blease

NY County Sheriff Harburger has seen that execution and is now convinced that the electric chair is completely humane. So that settles that. One detail: they took the guy’s temperature after the execution, and it was 128 .

A letter Woodrow Wilson wrote in 1907 (before he entered politics) has come to light, and is being pushed by the Hearst papers, expressing the wish that Democrats could “do something, at once dignified and effective, to knock Mr. Bryan once and for all into a cocked hat.”

An article in the NYT on King George’s visit to India, objectively written by a British colonial administrator and headlined “India Reconciled By King’s Visit,” says that this alleged reconciliation with imperial rule is “the natural expression of native reverence and complete submission.”

South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease issues his second State of the State address. He wants negro lodges (that is, the equivalent of Shriners, Rotary, that sort of thing) banned because they help members charged with crimes pay for lawyers. He wants white teachers barred from teaching black students. “We boast of the fact that we have no social equality in South Carolina, yet white people are teaching in negro schools, who are associating with the pupils and teaching them that they are as good as white people and are instilling into their heads ideas of social equality. Not long since a white woman (and a good looking one) was seen walking on a negro school ground with one arm around a negro boy and the other around a negro girl. What do you expect to be the outcome of this kind of conduct? Stop it, and stop it now.” He wants the state to buy an electric chair. He boasts that the state’s murder rate is down and that there was only one lynching last year, but he warns that lynchings are inevitable: “When a negro puts his hands on a white woman, he knows what is coming”.

Republican Debate: The failure to have any sense of cleverness

Meet the Press, and another Republican debate, just in case anyone’s changed their positions since last night’s Republican debate. They shoot horses, don’t they?

Transcript.

Gingrich again attacks Romney as a Massachusetts moderate (it’s alliterative, so you know it’s true), as “somebody who comes out of the Massachusetts culture”. You know, progressives only talk about the parts of the country they despise in private. It’s only polite.


Oh, I see what David Gregory’s doing now. He’s asking Gingrich whether Romney is unelectable (Gingrich says no) because Gingrich has a flyer that says “Romney is not electable.” This one:


Romney is very proud of enforcing English immersion in Mass. schools, it’s, ah, wicked awesome.

Santorum: Well, if his record was so great as governor of Massachusetts, why didn’t he run for re-election?

Romney says he didn’t run for reelection because not everyone wants to spend their entire life in politics. Dude, you’ve lost more elections than Santorum. [A minute later Gingrich points this out.]


He adds that he supports term limits in Washington, but if elected, he says he will definitely run for reelection.

He says his father “had good advice to me. He said, Mitt, never get involved in politics if you have to win an election to pay a mortgage.” Yes, only plutocrats and trust fund babies should be in politics.


Perry says the question is “Who is it that can invigorate the -- the Tea Party?” Yes, I’m sure Shooty McGoodhair can invigorate any party. “Who is it that can take the message of -- of smaller, outsider government that’s truly going to change that places [sic].” Outsider government? Is that like outsider art?


Huntsman & Romney got into a rather telling fight over whether H. is a traitor for having taken a job from Obama. Romney thinks that when the president is a Democrat, the highest form of patriotism is to work to make him fail (and to campaign for yourself to replace him, of course): “I think we serve our country first by standing for people who believe in conservative principles and doing everything in our power to promote an agenda that does not include President Obama’s agenda. I think the decision to go and work for President Obama is one which you took.” I guess he doesn’t plan on asking any Democrats for any help on anything if he becomes president.

Gingrich complains of “the failure of the political class to have any sense of cleverness.” For example, did you know that we could save $100 billion each year in Medicaid if we stopped “theft”?

Perry: “You know, the fact of the matter is that Americans want to have a job. That’s -- that’s the issue here. And the idea that -- that there are people clamoring for government to come and to give them assistance is just wrong-headed.”

LIKE THE ONE BETWEEN RICKY’S EARS: Santorum says Ron Paul would create “huge amounts of vacuums all over the place, and have folks like China and Iran and others.”

How are you going to make your own party uncomfortable? someone asks Rick Perry. By opening his pie hole? Perry says by supporting a balanced budget amendment and term limits.

Romney says he absolutely doesn’t discriminate against gay people and “if people are looking for someone who -- who will discriminate against gays or will in any way try and suggest that people -- that have different sexual orientation don’t have full rights in this country, they won’t find that in me” – he adds that he opposes same-sex marriage, because I guess that’s not discrimination and lack of full rights at all.


Santorum says “you can be respectful” towards gay people (although he’s never tried it himself) while denying them the right to marriage or adoption, because that’s just “promot[ing] things that you think are best for society.” And gay people are worst for society, I guess. He says if one of his sons told him he was gay, he would still love him, although obviously he would have to stone him to death. (Update: someone on Twitter – sorry about my failure of attribution here – said, but that gay son would totally hate him.)

Perry: “I’m a right-to-work guy.”

What good can labor unions do? Romney & Santorum both say they can do training. So that corporations get the benefit without having to pay for it, they don’t add.

Gingrich says the EPA is “out of touch with reality” and planned to regulate farm dust in Iowa and Arizona. This is a lie.


Perry: “I make a very proud statement and, in fact that we have a president that’s a socialist. I don’t think our founding fathers wanted America to be a socialist country.”

Paul: “I in a way don’t like to use those terms, gay rights, woman’s rights, minority rights, religious rights. There’s only one type of right. It’s the right to your liberty.”

HE WAS FOR THEOCRACY BEFORE HE WAS AGAINST IT: Why can’t we live with a nuclear Iran? Santorum: because “they’re a theocracy. They’re a theocracy that has deeply embedded beliefs that -- that the afterlife is better than this life. President Ahmadinejad has repeatedly said the principle virtue of the Islamic Republic of Iran is martyrdom.” See, they actually want to be nuked, so it’s not a deterrent.

Someday I’d like to hear Santorum explain the tenets of Buddhism.

Gingrich defends his attacks on Romney & Bain Capital: “Well, I think you have to look at the film, which I haven’t seen.”

Likewise, Romney claims not to have seen the ads put out by his SuperPAC (and then a minute later quotes “the ad that I saw.”)

Republican Debate: I’d rather be at the shooting range

Another debate, this time all rich white guys, like the Founding Fathers and Jesus intended.

Transcript. Pictures in this post illustrate the many arm positions of the Republican Party.

AND IF THERE’S ONE THING MITT ROMNEY KNOWS, IT’S TEPID: Romney says Obama deserves no credit for the 200,000 new jobs last month. “His policies have made the recession deeper, and his policies have made the recovery more tepid.”


OBAMA’S A COCK, IS WHAT MITT’S SAYING: “You know, it’s like the rooster taking responsibility for the sunrise.”

Sick Rantorum, as we shall be calling him today, says there’s no one who has more experience dealing with Iran than he does.

Gingrich keeps verbally hyperlinking to a NYT story about Bain Capital. Romney responds that the NYT is anti-free enterprise and then repeats that his claim that Bain created 100,000 jobs is net jobs, which it is not (and is a lie in other ways as well). Then he goes on some more about the importance of having presidents with business experience. Let’s see, the last president with business experience was George W. Bush, and the previous Republican with business experience was, if I’m not mistaken, Herbert Hoover. So how’d they work out?

Ron Paul says that Rantorum was corrupt as a congresscritter and then “became a high-powered lobbyist”. Sick tries to sound outraged by this, while being secretly pleased that someone called him “high-powered” for the first time in his life without it being immediately followed by “douche nozzle.”

Sick Rantorum: “I am a cause guy.”


Huntsman keeps talking about what a great job he did as governor, but interestingly never names the state of which he was the governor.

Gingrich is asked about Ron Paul calling him a chicken hawk. Gingrich says his father was in the Army for 27 years. I don’t think it works that way.

Ron Paul refuses to talk about the Ron Paul White Supremacist Newsletter and Jew-Hater Monthly, or whatever it was called. He says one of his heroes is Martin Luther King “because he practiced the libertarian principle of peaceful resistance and peaceful civil disobedience”. He says “true racism” (I guess as opposed to hotels putting up “No negroes” signs, which he thinks entirely their business) is in the enforcement of drug laws. Which it is, but so is opposition to the Civil Rights Acts, which his libertarian hero King supported.

Actually, now that I think about it, this is Ron Paul’s big move to get past the racist newsletter thing? I mean, on the one hand, he’s right about the drug war and its racist implementation, but on the other hand you can just hear him thinking, “What can I talk about that’ll get them off my back? I know! Those darkies really love their doobies!”


JUST LEAVE IT ALONE: Contraception comes up because Sick Rantorum has been making such a big deal about it lately. Asked whether states have the right to ban contraception, Twitt Romney acts like he’s never heard of such a thing, “can’t imagine” a state wanting to do so, has no idea if they have a right to do so, and it’s a silly question anyway. So basically he has no opinions on how the Constitution works or the right of privacy. Stephanopoulos points out that Romney went to Harvard Law School, whereupon Mittens pretends never to have heard of Griswold. But he adds that he wants to appoint justices who would overturn Roe v. Wade, which was decided on the same right of privacy as Griswold. But “Contraception, it’s working just fine, just leave it alone.”

Asked about gay marriage, Gingrich keeps referring to the “sacrament” of marriage and even to “a historic sacrament” (he’s a historian, you know). Sacrament is, of course, a religious term. “The sacrament of marriage was based on a man and woman, has been for 3,000 years.” (He’s a historian, you know.)


Sick Rantorum says this is a federal issue because “we can’t have different laws with respect to marriage.” Somebody should tell him that every state has its own divorce laws. He says the Constitutional amendment he wants would not only ban future gay marriage, but abrogate existing ones (like the 1,800 in New Hampshire).

Romney says we should discriminate against gay couples because “for a society to say we want to encourage, through the benefits that we associate with marriage, people to form partnerships between men and women and then raise children, which we think will -- that will be the ideal setting for them to be raised.” No one asks them why that view doesn’t entail a sexist, antediluvian view of gender roles.

Gingrich says the real question is anti-Christian (especially anti-Catholic) bigotry.

Romney says “John Adams, who wrote the Constitution, would be surprised” that gay marriage is said to be a right. He would be especially surprised because he was in France at the time, not writing the Constitution, and pining for Laura Linney.

WARP DRIVE, ENGAGE! Perry “would send troops back into Iraq,” which is being taken over by Iran. In fact, “We’re going to see Iran, in my opinion, move back in at literally the speed of light.”


Sick Rantorum: “The Iranian people love America because we stand up for the truth and say -- and call evil, which is what Ahmadinejad and the mullahs are, we call evil what it is.” Of course he also calls gay sex and abortion and birth control evil. Really, he calls a lot of things evil. Rather like Ahmadinejad and the mullahs, come to think of it. So what does he have against those guys?

BECAUSE YOU’RE MAKING UP NUMBERS AGAIN? Romney: “Our income per person in America is 50 percent higher than that of the average person in Europe. Why is that?” That’s probably just a metric thing.

AT WHICH POINT WE’LL BE FORCED TO MEASURE IN METRIC. AUTHORITARIAN, EUROPEAN SOCIALIST METRIC: Romney: “We’re only inches away from no longer being a free economy. ... But, really, this election is about the soul of America. ... We’re increasingly becoming like Europe. Europe isn’t working in Europe. It will never work here.” I think he’s saying that Europe doesn’t have a soul. Or at least that those damned Frogs didn’t convert to Mormonism when he gave them a chance.


Gingrich defends Obama from Romney: “A -- a little bit harsh on President Obama, who, I’m sure in his desperate efforts to create a radical European socialist model, is sincere.” See what he did there?

I DUB THEE A KNIGHT OF THE MIDDLE CLASS: Santorum attacks Romney for having used the term “middle class.” “There are no classes in America. We are a country that don’t [sic] allow for titles. We don’t put people in classes. ... That’s not the -- that’s not the language that I’ll use as president. I’ll use the language of bringing people together.”

SANTORUM WORKED IN THE METAPHORICAL COAL FIELDS OF K STREET: “I stood firm on those and worked, actually, in the coal fields, if you will, against this idea that we needed a cap and trade program.”

The killer question: if you weren’t here, what would you be doing on a Saturday night?

Perry would be at the shooting range, shooting off his guns at random and laughing maniacally.

Gingrich would be watching “watching the college championship basketball game.” (UNKNOWN): “Football game.” GINGRICH: “I mean, football game.”

Santorum would also be watching the basketball I mean football game, but he’d do it with his family, because he’s both manly and breeds like a rabbit. Mittens also loves him some football.

Ron Paul: “I’d be home with my family. But if they all went to bed, I’d probably read an economic textbook” (while masturbating furiously every time it mentioned the gold standard, I’m guessing).

Today -100: January 8, 1912: Of electricity

The sheriff of New York County, Julius Harburger, will attend an execution and then the autopsy to determine if the electric chair actually kills people. Some doctors think it merely stuns prisoners and it’s the autopsy that kills them.

Orthodox?

A man in a Santa Claus suit stabbed to death an Arab Christian in Jaffa during a procession for Orthodox Christmas.

Well, what could be more orthodox than religious violence in the Middle East committed by someone in a silly costume?

Today -100: January 7, 1912: 47

New Mexico is now the 47th state, after 62 years as a territory. It has 1 million cattle, 4 million sheep, and 327,396 people (1910). Its first governor is William Calhoun McDonald (D). Its first US senators are both Republican, Thomas Catron and Albert Fall, who will be President Harding’s Interior secretary and go to prison for his role in the Teapot Dome scandal.

Those 70 people who died in a Berlin homeless shelter did not succumb to bad herring or the Purple Death after all, but to bad schnapps.

The city of Paris has banned handbills. Shops have responded with... unsolicited phone calls. The invention of telemarketing?

German Reichstag elections are coming up. The Socialists are expected to win the one district in Berlin they didn’t capture last time, which is the district where the kaiser keeps his castles. He said in 1907 that if the district went SPD, he’d move to Potsdam. The Conservative party is accusing the Socialists of opposing the army and navy and “national obligations,” which people take to mean that the government is planning new taxes to pay for an increase in the size of the army and navy. The Conservatives are talking up the English Peril. Evidently Britain planned a sneak attack to invade Germany last summer.

Today -100: January 6, 1912: Of disfranchisements

The Maryland Senate passes a bill to disfranchise illiterates, on a party-line vote, the Democrats believing this will be a simpler method of excluding black voters than the previous attempts at “trick ballots” designed to fool semi-literate people into voting for fake candidates or invalidating their votes. The literacy tests would not be state-wide, but only in certain counties.

Ready for the full range of contingencies

Secretary of Drone War “Little Leon” Panetta issued a “strategic guidance” document thingy (pdf).

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: “we will ensure that our military is agile, flexible, and ready for the full range of contingencies.”

IS THAT WHY WE DID THAT: “Over the last decade, we have undertaken extended operations in Iraq and Afghanistan to bring stability to those countries and secure our interests.”

KILLER DRONES FOREVER! “For the foreseeable future, the United States will continue to take an active approach to countering these threats by monitoring the activities of non-state threats worldwide, working with allies and partners to establish control over ungoverned territories, and directly striking the most dangerous groups and individuals when necessary.”

Evidently the US military will “rebalance toward the Asia-Pacific region.”

WAKEY, WAKEY, EGGS AND... WELL PROBABLY NOT BACEY: “In the Middle East, the Arab Awakening presents both strategic opportunities and challenges.” Is that what we’re calling the Arab Spring now? On the one hand the term is an echo of the “Sunni Awakening” where the US bribed tribal leaders in Iraq, which may not be an image Arab protesters would appreciate, and on the other hand it entails an insulting suggestion that for decades the Arab people have been asleep rather than ruthlessly oppressed.

ALSO, CHEESE: “Most European countries are now producers of security rather than consumers of it.”

It reaffirmed the two-war strategy and plans to fight terrorists everywhere in the world with lots of toys.

A jury of his peers

The last Haditha Massacre court-martial, the last chance to put someone away for 24 murders, has begun.

From the LAT: “On Thursday, prospective jurors were questioned by opposing attorneys. All but one indicated that he had been in combat in Iraq when an order was given to ‘clear’ a house of insurgents; most had lost a Marine in combat. Asked by a defense attorney, none admitted having ‘strong’ feelings about the war in Iraq.”

So they’re all emotionless sociopaths, soul-less killing machines?

Today -100: January 5, 1912: Of Ulster, Sneezakaritchnekoff, and turkey trots

Ulster Unionist leader Sir Edward Carson says that the people of Ulster will refuse to recognize a Home Rule parliament in Dublin, and won’t pay taxes to it. He says the “essential question” is whether Britain would then send in troops to force them to do so.

Headline of the Day -100: “Hail! Sneezakaritchnekoff.” That’s a town in Siberia, 60 families, founded way back by Mennonites from Germany, which would like to move its entire population to the United States so they can see the sun again. A couple of scouts have been touring, and are thinking about Oklahoma or Texas.

Philadelphia high society, as led by Mrs. Frederick Thurston Mason, has banned the turkey trot and the grizzly bear. “It is understood that the two dances have all but caused several scandals in some of Philadelphia’s best families.”

Not a strong attitude to women’s rights

In Afghanistan, 14-year-old Sahar Gul was married to/bought by a 30-year-old soldier, who immediately tried to pimp her out; he & his family tortured and starved her for six months when she refused.

To be fair, now that it’s hit the world news, the central Afghan government is at least acting like it takes this seriously, as opposed to the local ones, who returned her for several months’ more torture after she escaped.

An Interior Ministry spokes... wait for it... man said, “It is a violent act that is unacceptable in the 21st century.” He did not say in which century it would have been acceptable.

An official in the public health ministry said, “We have several cases like this, especially in remote parts of the country where there is not a strong attitude to women’s rights.” Actually there is a very strong attitude to women’s rights, that’s the fucking problem.

Today -100: January 4, 1912: Of electric chairs and turkey trots

Wake County, NC, which contains the city of Raleigh, will hold an election for a school tax at which only three people are qualified to vote, for some unexplained reason. I’m assuming that only qualified voters are allowed to be election officials, so the three voters are also the register and the two judges of election.

The Newport, Rhode Island Animal Refuge will install an electric chair to euthanize unwanted animals.

A large debutante dance in NYC was attended by an inspector of the Committee on Amusements and Vacation Resources of Working Girls to determine how many of the couples engaged in such moral looseness as dancing the turkey trot or the grizzly bear, which the Committee wants banned from dance halls as “not dancing at all, but a series of indecent antics to the accompaniment of music,” and someone suggested they go bother the upper classes as well as the lower orders, so they did. The Committee warns against even the modified versions of the dance that are “taught to the unsuspecting. The positions and movements of the dance, no matter how slight they may be, are pernicious.”

Why that’s so crazy it just might work

Friday, Evangelical nutjob Bob Vander Plaats told McNeil-Lehrer: “We had six candidates at our Thanksgiving Family Forum. And I think it was my wife afterwards who said, ‘You know, Bob, if we could take those six and put them in a blender and just have the strengths come out and have one candidate.’”

This blog heartily seconds the notion of putting the Republican candidates in a blender. This blog recommends the “grind” or “liquefy” settings.

Today -100: January 3, 1912: Of chain gangs, provisional presidents, and exemplary punishments

Arkansas Gov. George Washington Donaghey threatens that unless contractors who use convict labor treat them more humanely (i.e., stop beating them quite so much), he will pardon all of them.

Sun Yat Sen is inaugurated as provisional president of China. Just like the French Revolutionaries, he has changed the calendar, with New Year’s now January 1st, the first day of his presidency. Sun promises an elected Parliament and a modernized administration (what he did not suggest, but which the LAT seems to think will happen, is that China should seek unity through a single language, which would be English.)

Russians occupying Persia are court-martialling and hanging prominent Persians, including the head of a religious sect, for attacks on their troops, and leaving the bodies hanging in public squares.

Today -100: January 2, 1912: Of unreassuring ex-presidents

Headline of the Day -100: “Roosevelt Won’t Reassure Taft.” Theodore Roosevelt, while frequently having said that he is not running for president, is evidently refusing to say that under no circumstances will he accept the nomination.

The brother of the deposed Shah of Persia has defeated government forces in battle. He is demanding the return of $80,000 confiscated from him by the government – or he will demolish the Imperial Bank Building.

A French Capt. Lux escapes from a German fortress, where he was serving a six-year term for espionage. He sawed through the bars using files that had been sent to him hidden in books on Napoleon.

Today -100: January 1, 1912: Of lynchings, student revolts, and new states

A negro is lynched in Muldrow, Oklahoma, after stealing a locomotive in Arkansas, riding it until it derailed, then killing a farmer.

The negro students of Clark College are pissed off that they won’t get a Christmas holiday. So they stole the bell clapper to stop classes being held. The administration retaliated by withholding their meals. The students retaliated by driving calves into the college president’s study. “Since that time the tension has increased.”

When Arizona was granted statehood (due to take effect in a couple of weeks, I believe), Congress failed to grant it the furnishings it had provided for the territorial legislature’s chambers, governor’s office, etc. The territorial secretary says he may be obligated to sell them to the highest bidder, and there won’t be time enough to get in new furniture before statehood. Another teething problem: justices of the peace and constables have been elected in some areas, but these elections were illegal, because everyone forgot to include provision for them in the new election law.