Ready for the full range of contingencies

Secretary of Drone War “Little Leon” Panetta issued a “strategic guidance” document thingy (pdf).

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: “we will ensure that our military is agile, flexible, and ready for the full range of contingencies.”

IS THAT WHY WE DID THAT: “Over the last decade, we have undertaken extended operations in Iraq and Afghanistan to bring stability to those countries and secure our interests.”

KILLER DRONES FOREVER! “For the foreseeable future, the United States will continue to take an active approach to countering these threats by monitoring the activities of non-state threats worldwide, working with allies and partners to establish control over ungoverned territories, and directly striking the most dangerous groups and individuals when necessary.”

Evidently the US military will “rebalance toward the Asia-Pacific region.”

WAKEY, WAKEY, EGGS AND... WELL PROBABLY NOT BACEY: “In the Middle East, the Arab Awakening presents both strategic opportunities and challenges.” Is that what we’re calling the Arab Spring now? On the one hand the term is an echo of the “Sunni Awakening” where the US bribed tribal leaders in Iraq, which may not be an image Arab protesters would appreciate, and on the other hand it entails an insulting suggestion that for decades the Arab people have been asleep rather than ruthlessly oppressed.

ALSO, CHEESE: “Most European countries are now producers of security rather than consumers of it.”

It reaffirmed the two-war strategy and plans to fight terrorists everywhere in the world with lots of toys.