I want you to remember when our White House reflected the best of who we are, not the worst of what Europe has become

Romney victory speech in Florida.

SO I LOANED HIM ONE OF MY SEVERAL MANSIONS. HAH! JUST KIDDING. “In the last ten days, I met a father who was terrified that this would be the last night his family would sleep in the only home his son has ever known.”

MAYBE THERE SHOULD BE A MORATORIUM ON QUOTING HISTORICAL FIGURES WHO WOULD HAVE DESPISED YOU WITH A RED-HOT PASSION: “In another era of American crisis, Thomas Paine is reported to have said..” [i.e., Paine never actually said this] “...‘Lead, follow, or get out of the way.’” I believe Paine had Romney in mind (he was just that foresighted) when he wrote: “It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime.” (Age of Reason)

SOMEONE SIT ROMNEY DOWN IN FRONT OF A “HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW” FILMSTRIP: “He forced through Obamacare; I will repeal it.”

IT’S ALLITERATIVE, SO IT MUST BE TRUE: “Like his colleagues in the faculty lounge who think they know better, President Obama demonizes and denigrates almost every sector of our economy.” What sector has he missed? Do tell the White House so he can get right on with that demonizin’ and denigrating’.

BY NOT TRAMPLING ON WOMEN’S RIGHTS, YOU MEAN: “President Obama orders religious organizations to violate their conscience”.

IT’S ASSONANT, SO IT MUST BE TRUE: “President Obama has adopted a strategy of appeasement and apology.”

IT’S ALLITERATIVE... AH, YOU GET THE IDEA: “If you believe the disappointments of the last few years are a detour, not our destiny, then I am asking for your vote.”

WE’RE “SPECIAL”: “I’m asking each of you to remember how special it is to be an American.”

SO YOU’RE SAYING THAT MICHELLE STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS? “I want you to remember when our White House reflected the best of who we are, not the worst of what Europe has become.”