Republican Debate: I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that

Did you see that clip where Romney shouted at a protester who asked what someone in the 1% would do for the 99% that he was being divisive and should just go to North Korea and “America is right and you’re wrong” (he was against being divisive before he was for it)? Well, you may be thinking of that as an embarrassing example of a politician losing his shit and wondering if Romney’s temper and snippiness might make him even more unlikeable than he already is, but the Romney campaign wants people to see that clip and sent it out in an email, asking everyone to tweet & facebook it.

On to the debate. In Charleston. But no one did the charleston. Or ate a Charleston chew. Transcript.

DECENT PEOPLE? HOW IS THAT RELEVANT TO THIS SITUATION? The first question is to Gingrich about the “open marriage” thing. He blames the “destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news media,” which “makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract decent people to run for public office. And I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that.” Appalled as he was, he went on: “Every person in here knows personal pain. Every person in here has had someone close to them go through painful things.” And every one of your ex-wives.

TO TAKE AN EX-WIFE: “To take an ex-wife and make it two days before the primary a significant question for a presidential campaign is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine.” Your ex-wives can probably imagine something closer to despicable, and by imagine I mean remember.

WHAT HE’S TIRED OF: “I am tired of the elite media protecting Barack Obama by attacking Republicans.”


AND BY FALLEN, I MEAN NEWT TRIPPED OVER HIS OWN DICK: Santorum says “this country is a very forgiving country. This country understands that we are all fallen”.

What federal programs would put the American people back to work? Ron Paul says the federal government should “get out of the way” and do nothing, and no one is more qualified to do nothing than Ron Paul.

Gingrich would repeal what I’ve just noticed he called the Dodd-Frank “bill.” You would think the former speaker of the House would know that when it’s passed, a bill is called a law.

Romney says just getting rid of Obama will eliminate unemployment.

For the first time Mittens gives a number for jobs destroyed by Bain Capital. 10,000 “that have been documented.” I sense a major asterisk.


WHAT HE’S GOING TO STUFF DOWN OBAMA’S THROAT: Twitt Romney: “I’m someone who believes in free enterprise. I think Adam Smith was right. And I’m going to stand and defend capitalism across this country, throughout this campaign. I know we’re going to get hit hard from President Obama, but we’re going to stuff it down his throat and point out it is capitalism and freedom that makes America strong.” Stuffing and pointing.

MORE FOOD AND HEALTH CARE? THE BASTARD! Santorum says all Obama wants to do for the poor is “make them more dependent, give them more food stamps, give them more Medicaid.”

THEY HAVE THE BEST METH LABS IN THE WORLD: Santorum: “South Carolina can compete with anybody in this world in manufacturing.”

Santorum seems to say (there’s slippage between talking about Vietnam and talking about the present)(maybe I shouldn’t use the word slippage when talking about santorum) that veterans coming back from the war “very damaged” is “a very big part of the high unemployment rate that we’re dealing with” and claims that Obama “said he is going to cut veterans benefits”. Romney wants the states to get block grants to deal with veterans.

Gingrich says that we don’t actually need the provision for people up to 26 staying on their parents’ insurance, which Obama only wanted because “he can’t get any jobs for them to go out and buy their own insurance.” Under a President Gingrich, everyone will have jobs at 18 and all the colleges will be closed.


AND DINOSAURS ROAMED THE EARTH: Ron Paul claims that when he was practicing medicine in the early 1960s “before we had any government,” “there was nobody out in the street suffering with no medical care.” Um, right.

Santorum: “Grandiosity has never been a problem with Newt Gingrich.” Gingrich says it’s a grandiose country.

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: Santorum: “I mean, Newt’s -- Newt’s a friend. I love him. But at times, you’ve just got, you know, sort of that, you know, worrisome moment that something’s going to pop.” Santorum shouldn’t be talking about “something’s going to pop.”

Romney: “We need to have someone outside Washington go to Washington.”

Romney deflates Gingrich’s pretense that he and Ronald Reagan were Batman and Robin only, you know, gayer, by noting that Gingrich is mentioned only once in Reagan’s diary, and not favorably.

Newt Gingrich released his returns online at around the time the debate started. Ron Paul says he won’t release his tax returns because “I don’t want to be embarrassed because I don’t have a greater income.” Romney says he won’t release his before he secures the nomination “Because I want to make sure that I beat President Obama. And every time we release things drip by drip, the Democrats go out with another array of attacks.” So he won’t release them because there’s stuff in there that can be used to attack him. But, he says, “I pay a lot of taxes.”


Everyone is against SOPA. Although Santorum says, “The Internet is not a free zone where anybody can do anything they want to do and trample the rights of other people”. I wonder what he could be thinking of.

Gingrich wants a guest worker program run by American Express, Visa or MasterCard, “because they can run it without fraud and the federal government’s hopeless.” And he elaborates on his idea of residency for illegal immigrants who have been here 25 years. The local draft board type thing could only give them residency; to get citizenship they’d actually have to go back to their country of origin and wait behind everybody else for a few years.

Santorum says he’s the grandson of an immigrant, so he’d be tougher on immigrants than the other candidates. In the transcript, the second word in the following quote is “agree” but I think he actually said grieve: “I agree/grieve for people who have been here 25 years and maybe have to be separated from their family if they were picked up and deported, but my father grieved for his father when he came to this country and lived here five years.” And if it’s good enough for his grandfather...

Ron Paul says we have illegal immigrants because Americans aren’t forced to take crap jobs for no money: “There’s an economic incentive for them to come, for immigrants to come. But there’s also an incentive for some of our people in this country not to take a job that’s a low-paying job. You’re not supposed to say that, but that is true.”


A EXPERIENCE IN A LAB: Gingrich: “Governor Romney has said that he had a experience in a lab and became pro-life, and I accept that.”

YOU’LL TELL US WHEN IT IS THE TIME TO BE DOUBTING PEOPLE’S WORDS OR QUESTIONING THEIR INTEGRITY, RIGHT? Romney: “It is -- this is not the time to be doubting people’s words or questioning their integrity. I’m pro-life.”

Paul says if government spends any money on medicine it will wind up funding abortion because “all funds are fungible.” He adds, “I see abortion as a violent act. All other violence is handled by the states -- murder, burglary, violence. That’s a state issue.” And he wants Congress to vote to remove abortion from the jurisdiction of the Supreme Court.

THE RIGHT OF OUR CREATOR TO LIFE: Santorum attacks Paul for saying abortion is a state issue: “you should have the willingness to stand up on a federal law and every level of government and protect what our Declaration protects, which is the right of our creator to life, and that is a federal issue, not a state issue.” Ron Paul wants to kill God, is what Santorum is saying.