Today -100: February 15, 1912: 48

Arizona is now a state. Evidently, the official national flag still has only 46 stars, because they only inaugurate new flags on July 4ths. George W.P. “Old Walrus” Hunt (D) is inaugurated as the state’s first governor.

41 people associated with the International Association of Bridge and Structural Iron Workers are arrested for complicity in a “vast dynamite conspiracy.” Many more have been indicted but not yet taken into custody.

The Georgia Republican Convention meets, and systematically excludes all Roosevelt supporters. c.300 of the 500 delegates were African-American (the delegates selected to be sent to the national Republican Convention, instructed to vote for Taft first, last and always, will be half white and half black).

The big mill strike in Lawrence, which I guess I haven’t written much about, is ending, and the employers are black-listing all their Italian workers.

Percival Roberts, Jr., a director of the US Steel Corp., tells the Congressional investigating committee that his workers actually prefer 12-hour days. Why, you can hardly find any workers willing to take up 10-hour jobs.

I know it was you, Barack. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.

Obama and his li’l friend Al Pacino at the White House yesterday. But what are they saying? CAPTION CONTEST!

Today -100: February 14, 1912: Of missed wars, whuppin’s, and canals

Headline of the Day -100: “Europe Just Misses a War.” The LA Times reports that a war recently almost broke out between France and Italy. After Italy seized Turks on a French steamer (that only sounds kinky), a French destroyer approached Italian fortifications in Sardinia “with an air of defiance.” The Italians fired blank shots across its bows and it retreated, as is traditional.

Midland, Texas: During a trial of some sort, a commissioner called the judge a liar, the judge announced that the court was adjourned until he’d “whipped” the commissioner, he did so, reconvened the court, and fined himself for fighting. Texas!

Tourists have been flocking to Panama to see the Canal before it’s filled with water next year.

Today -100: February 13, 1912: Of miscegenation, New York from above, perpetual motion, abdications, and political emotionalists or neurotics

Germany bans interracial marriage in its Samoan Island colonies.

Frank Coffyn flies over NY in the first attempt to film the city from the air. He and his cameraman weren’t up long, because it was really cold, and he plans to try again, so I’m not entirely sure if this footage (8½ minutes) is from today -100, but it is from Coffyn in 1912.



Disappointing Headline of the Day -100: “Perpetual Motion Victim.” Hans Edgar Friese spent all his money trying to invent a perpetual motion machine, which fails to work, then kills wife and himself.

China’s Boy-Emperor Pu-Yi abdicates in an edict which asks the question, “How can we oppose the desires of millions for the glory of one family?” How indeed.

New Chinese president Sun Yat-Sen is an American citizen, born in Hawaii. But where’s the birth certificate?

President Taft, speaking to the Republican Club dinner at the Waldorf (before going on to another dinner at the Dry Goods Association, because he’s President Fucking Taft and he will eat just as many dinners as he damn well pleases). He complains about the Progressive calls for initiative, referendum and recall, “the effort to make the selection of candidates, the enactment of legislation, and the decisions of courts to depend on the momentary passions of a people necessarily indifferently informed as the issues presented”. But, hey, vote for me in November, indifferently informed people! “Such extremists are not progressives – they are political emotionalists or neurotics”.

The rebellion in Chihuahua is reportedly defeated.

Today -100: February 12, 1912: Of electrocutions, bucks, and undesirable Hungarians

The Maryland Legislature is considering a bill to change the method of execution from hanging to electrocution, but the warden of the state pen suggests chloroforming prisoners to death.

The Treasury Dept. plans to start printing the money using power printing-presses. The unions are fighting these plans.

The governor (self-proclaimed) of rebel Chihuahua state, Aurelanio Gonzales, says “Mexico must rise en masse and resist the invaders.” He means the United States, which hasn’t actually invaded but is mobilizing troops on the border.

Gov. Woodrow Wilson is having some difficulty getting Hungarian-Americans behind his presidential campaign, due to a passage in his History of the American People describing Hungarian immigrants as a “coarse crew, bred in unwholesome squalor,” “less desirable than the excluded Chinese.” Wilson writes a letter of apology, which seems to say that he likes Hungary, just not Hungarians, or something.

Followers of this feature might be interested in a BBC radio program, available here for the next 6 or 7 days, about the British suffragettes of the Edwardian period, featuring interviews of suffragettes recorded in the 1970s by historian Brian Harrison (1 hour).

Today -100: February 11, 1912: Of blacklists, warplanes, accessions, and Futurists

Hearings on the steel monopoly are told that the steel trust kept a blacklist of union members, and that during a strike in 1909, the American Tinplate Company (a subsidiary of US Steel) advertised for Syrians, Poles and Romanians to work as scabs. The man whose job was to recruit these foreign laborers explained that he always tries to meet the wishes of employers. “I wouldn’t send an Irishman to a brewery, because he would probably be turned down.”

Frank Coffyn, the Wright Company aviator currently instructing US Army aviators in the use of Wright planes in Georgia, says there is no military need to fly above one mile, which should be high enough to keep them out of artillery and bullet range. But he does doubt that dropping bombs from planes can be accurate enough to be useful at that height. He says, “I believe that some day aeroplanes will fight aeroplanes and that there will be machines that may be called aeroplane destroyers, and maybe some day, still farther away, aeroplane-aeroplane-destroyers”. Dare to dream, Frank, dare to dream.

Arizona will soon be the 48th state, but when? There was talk of doing it on Lincoln’s birthday, but Taft will be out of D.C. and unavailable to sign the proclamation that day. And they want to avoid the 13th as unlucky (it’s not even a Friday). So they’re thinking about Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be the 50th anniversary of the day AZ was declared a Territory of the Confederate States of America.

A big exhibition of Futurist art, or, as the NYT puts it “‘art,’” opens in Paris. "The pictures bear such titles as ‘The Street Entering a House,’ ‘Those Who go,’ and ‘Those Who Remain,’ but no case has yet been reported of a visitor establishing a connection between the picture and the title attached to it.”

Today -100: February 10, 1912: Of state religions

The Japanese government has called a conference to decide on a national religion for Japan.

Cardboard Khomeini comes again

Don’t know how I missed this, but last week, for the 33rd anniversary of the Iranian Revolution, they paraded cardboard cutouts of the Ayatollah Khomeini along the route he took on his return from exile. This is the greatest thing ever.

Today -100: February 9, 1912: Of suffrage, escapes from Belfast, and slapstick

The Virginia Legislature votes down women’s suffrage. One representative, a Mr. Love, said he wanted women to remain in their present high realm and not have to mingle with negroes at the polls on election day.

Churchill gave his home rule speech in Belfast and was not torn apart by Unionists, although he was hit in the face with a flag by a suffragette. Then he escaped by a special train two hours before his announced departure time, because why take chances.

Headline of the Day -100 (LAT): “Pie Knocks Out Bandit.” A robber tried to stick up a restaurant in Denver. He told the night manager, coming out of the kitchen with hot custard pies in each hand, “Hold up your hands.” She said, “I won’t drop these pies for any villain like you.” He told her, “I don’t care what you do with the pies, but don’t move.” So she threw one of them at his face. Life back then really was exactly like it’s portrayed in silent films.

A note to liberals

who support Guantanamo and killing people with drones: you are not liberals. That is all.

Today -100: February 8, 1912: No hurry indeed

President Taft drops 8th Circuit judge William Cather Hook from consideration for the vacant Supreme Court seat. He had pretty much made up his mind for Hook but opposition arose because of his upholding of Jim Crow laws in Oklahoma.

Kaiser Wilhelm gave the traditional opening speech to the newly elected Reichstag. Unlike in Britain, they have to come to him in his palace to hear it. But the Socialists, one-fourth of the MPs, didn’t. Willy demanded a bigger army and a bigger navy.

It is reported that Germany’s war contingency plans call for sending all 50 military airplanes on a bombing raid on Paris the minute war is declared.

Headline of the Day -100: “No Hurry to Talk Peace.” The 3rd Peace Conference has been re-scheduled for 1915.

Turkey orders the closing of all Italian institutions in Turkey, including banks, insurance companies and an orphanage.

The Russian Duma asks the minister of interior why he illegally ordered newspapers not to write anything about Rasputin and why he seized those two newspapers for doing so. Also, a bishop and an abbot who Rasputin doesn’t like were ordered into exile.

Condescending Racist Headline of the Day -100: “Chinaman a Journalist Now. Anyway, He Has a Degree from the University of Missouri That Says So.” And a job as a, you know, journalist. Hin Wong, raised in Hawaii, plans to move to China (where he will indeed be a journalist until his death in Hong Kong in 1939).

Obama and the Marshmallow Cannon of Doom

Caption contest.

Today -100: February 7, 1912: Of cunnels, mad monks, darts, and spies

Minstrely Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “Georgia Whites for Taft. Negroes are for ‘Cunnel.’” It seems there were competing Taft & Roosevelt primaries for the state Republican convention, which will in turn elect delegates to the national convention. And while whites support Taft, blacks support what it took me a minute to realize was dialect for The Colonel (as TR liked to be called).

Florida Republicans will send competing Taft/Roosevelt delegations to the national convention, which will have to sort it out. The majority of delegates, pro-Cunnel, stormed out after the temporary chairman (a pro-Taft negro, as it happens, although the NYT notes that the black delegates were pro-TR) issued a series of rulings against them. They then organized separately to name their own delegation (Florida, like a lot of states, doesn’t have presidential primaries).

A couple of Russian newspapers are seized for saying bad things about Rasputin.

The French have invented a “terrible air weapon,” a 6-inch long “dynamite dart,” not actually dynamite, just a heavy dart that can be dropped on enemy soldiers from airplanes.

There is finally an armistice in the Chinese Revolution, but negotiations continue. The Empress Dowager is demanding the continued use of imperial titles, with commoners to continue showing the proper regal homage, the imperial family to retain its palaces and the Imperial Guard, paid for by the public, etc.

More in the spy wars: Brits are angered that one of their spies, Bertrand Stewart (actually a lawyer who thought he’d like to play at spies, but he did so with MI6’s bemused knowledge; a German agent lured him into the country by promising to sell him secret documents, then arrested him), is sentenced to 3½ years. The British press is suggesting that the evidence in the secret trial was too weak (it wasn’t) and the sentence is too severe. His father, however, expresses nothing but respect for the “judgment of the Supreme Court of an enlightened and friendly country,” while saying that his son’s actions “are no proof at all of anti-German feeling among the people of England. They merely show that ‘young men will be young men’” (Bertie is 39). Germany released him early, in 1913, in plenty of time to get killed in action in France one month into the Great War.

Today -100: February 6, 1912: Of bad barbers, time-outs, and turkey trots

Front Page Headline of the Day -100: “GOV. WILSON A BAD BARBER.; On Eve of Stumping Tour He Cuts His Lip While Shaving.”

The La Follette campaign seems to be shutting down, and Fightin’ Bob himself will take a few weeks’ rest.

The “turkey trot” has reached London, although stripped of the features found so objectionable in certain parts of New York society, but the London Times pronounces the dance “abominably ugly.”

Today -100: February 5, 1912: Of parachutes and censorship

Franz Reichalt, an Austrian tailor whose hobby was making experimental parachutes, got permission to test his latest from the Eiffel Tower, although he was supposed to use a dummy. Instead, he did the jump himself. He will be missed.

Utah Gov. William Spry is demanding the suppression of movies depicting Mormons.

Today -100: February 4, 1912: Problems

The NYT catches up to Robert La Follette’s melt-down, noting “Newspaper reports did not convey any idea of what really happened”. Fightin’ Bob needs a rest, his friends say. Also, he told the newspaper publishers that they are doing a crappy job, serving the interests of big business and no longer bothering to educate public opinion.

With rebellion increasing in Juarez, Taft warns against anyone shooting across the border into the US, and orders the mobilization of 15,000 troops along the border, with a view to maybe invading Mexico to enforce the no-shooting rule.

In Britain, the Women’s Industrial Union is trying to discover the cause of the “servant problem.” Evidently it’s that people don’t like being treated like servants.

Speaking of problems, the University of Virginia has received a grant for a fellowship “for the study of the negro.” The fellow will “prepare a paper on some aspect of the negro problem.” Like “servant problem” in the previous story, “negro problem” is a term that comes up pretty regularly and is never defined, although needless to say the people reading the NYT were not interested in the problems affecting servants and negroes, just in the problems caused by servants and negroes.

Today -100: February 3, 1912: I believe in women’s suffrage wherever they want it

The NYT covers the speeches by politicians at the banquet of the Periodical Publishers’ Association of America, but misses the big story, which came after the paper’s deadline.  It covers Woodrow Wilson’s speech but gives a scant three sentences to that of Robert La Follette, who basically destroyed his presidential chances, such as they were, with a Rick Perry-esque performance, but longer.  More than two hours long, in fact, rambling, repetitive (literally: he re-read certain paragraphs several times without noticing) and possibly drunken.  To be fair, he a) had recently had food poisoning and b) was worried about his daughter, who had a major operation scheduled for the next day, but the speech made many people think he was in the middle of a nervous breakdown, and Progressives switched their support to Roosevelt in droves.

The Association held a straw vote, which seems a rather unprofessional thing for publishers to do.  TR won.

First Lord of the Admiralty Winston Churchill will come to Belfast soon to give a Home Rule speech.  It is expected that he will be met by 60 to 80,000 armed men – 30,000 will have revolvers and many will have clubs – one foot longer than the ones the police have.

A British submarine sinks with all hands (13 of them) off the Isle of Wight after being in a collision with the appropriately named gunboat Hazard.

Roosevelt writes an editorial in Outlook supporting women’s suffrage, sort of.  (It can be read here [pdf, 5 pages]).  He wants women-only statewide referenda on women’s suffrage to decide the issue: “I believe in women’s suffrage wherever they want it.  Where they do not want it the suffrage should not be forced upon them.”  He doesn’t think it’s a big deal either way: “I do not regard the movement as anything like as important as either its extreme friends of extreme opponents think.  It is so much less important than many other reforms that I have never been able to take a very heated interest in it.”  And most of the women with whom he associates oppose suffrage “precisely because they approach life from the standpoint of duty.”  And women are much more important as wives and mothers, which suffrage must not change.  “No woman will ever be developed who will stand above the highest and finest of the wives and mothers of today and of the yesterdays.  The exercise of suffrage can never be the most important of women’s rights or women’s duties.  The vital need for women, as for men, is to war against vice, and frivolity, and cold selfishness, and timid shrinking from necessary risk and effort.”

We either believe in markets or we don’t

Yesterday Rick Santorum (who has an ill/dying child himself), after sneering at people for complaining about the high prices of drugs when they pay $900 for an iPod, and they just want health care for free, told a mother whose son depends on a million-dollar-a-year drug that  “He’s alive today because drug companies provide care. And if they didn’t think they could make money providing that drug, that drug wouldn’t be here. ... Fact is, we need companies to have incentives to make drugs. If they don’t have incentives, they won’t make those drugs. We either believe in markets or we don’t.”

This gives me an excuse to bring up Eflornithine again. That’s a drug that’s effective against sleeping sickness, but the pharmaceutical company that owned the patent stopped manufacturing it in the mid-1990s because they weren’t seeing enough of those “incentives” Santorum touts, as is the case with drugs treating diseases that affect small numbers of people or, in this case, large numbers of poor people in sub-Saharan Africa.

There was a happy ending for the Africans, though. Eflornithine also treats unwanted facial hair in rich white women, and that’s a market Big Pharma knows how to market to, so it went back into production.

Drugs can also be problematic from the capitalist point of view if they’re too successful. In 2006, Genentech blocked the use of colon cancer drug Avastin for blindness because it was successful in such low quantities that it cost only $42 a dose, whereas the no-more-effective drug in common use for macular degeneration cost $1,600 a dose.

We either believe in markets or we don’t.

Today -100: February 2, 1912: Of planes, operas, and term limits

In another first in the history of warfare, Capt. Monte, an Italian aviator, is shot by Libyans while he was dropping bombs on them from above. He was able to get his plane, which was also shot up, back to base.

Juarez is in revolt against the Madero government, and names Emilio Gomez as provisional president.

The German police ban the performance in Berlin of Otto Neitzel’s opera “Barbarina” because one of the characters is Frederick the Great (1712-86).

France plans to keep employing the existing Moroccan officials in its new colony, excuse me, protectorate, but they will be “advised and supervised” by French officials.

Rep. James Slayden (D-Texas) introduces a resolution against presidents running for a third time (i.e., Theodore Roosevelt).

Or, you know, precisely the opposite, which is kind of the problem

Ha’aretz: “The United States criticized a recently declared Israeli plan to subsidize construction in several West Bank settlements on Tuesday, with a top U.S. official calling the move ‘unconstructive.’”

Today -100: February 1, 1912: Of Panamans, abdications, and hoboes

Headline of the Day -100: “Panamans Hoot Colombia.” Evidently the residents of the brand-new country of Panama were called Panamans then.

The boy-emperor of China has finally abdicated (disagreements among the revolutionaries led the imperials to stall for a while, hoping to avoid abdication).

The state of Pennsylvania indicts three more of last August’s Coatesville lynch mob, despite previous acquittals. This time, they plan on a change of venue.

The national hobo convention is scheduled for Cincinnati. Which is not best pleased.

I want you to remember when our White House reflected the best of who we are, not the worst of what Europe has become

Romney victory speech in Florida.

SO I LOANED HIM ONE OF MY SEVERAL MANSIONS. HAH! JUST KIDDING. “In the last ten days, I met a father who was terrified that this would be the last night his family would sleep in the only home his son has ever known.”

MAYBE THERE SHOULD BE A MORATORIUM ON QUOTING HISTORICAL FIGURES WHO WOULD HAVE DESPISED YOU WITH A RED-HOT PASSION: “In another era of American crisis, Thomas Paine is reported to have said..” [i.e., Paine never actually said this] “...‘Lead, follow, or get out of the way.’” I believe Paine had Romney in mind (he was just that foresighted) when he wrote: “It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime.” (Age of Reason)

SOMEONE SIT ROMNEY DOWN IN FRONT OF A “HOW A BILL BECOMES A LAW” FILMSTRIP: “He forced through Obamacare; I will repeal it.”

IT’S ALLITERATIVE, SO IT MUST BE TRUE: “Like his colleagues in the faculty lounge who think they know better, President Obama demonizes and denigrates almost every sector of our economy.” What sector has he missed? Do tell the White House so he can get right on with that demonizin’ and denigrating’.

BY NOT TRAMPLING ON WOMEN’S RIGHTS, YOU MEAN: “President Obama orders religious organizations to violate their conscience”.

IT’S ASSONANT, SO IT MUST BE TRUE: “President Obama has adopted a strategy of appeasement and apology.”

IT’S ALLITERATIVE... AH, YOU GET THE IDEA: “If you believe the disappointments of the last few years are a detour, not our destiny, then I am asking for your vote.”

WE’RE “SPECIAL”: “I’m asking each of you to remember how special it is to be an American.”

SO YOU’RE SAYING THAT MICHELLE STOPPED SHAVING HER PITS? “I want you to remember when our White House reflected the best of who we are, not the worst of what Europe has become.”

I think that there’s a perception somehow that we’re just sending in a whole bunch of strikes willy-nilly

Yesterday, Obama answered questions on Google+. The White House website still has no transcript; the Bushies were much better about this sort of thing.

He was asked about drones and acknowledged for the first time that the US is bombing people in Pakistan.

NEITHER WILLY NOR NILLY: “I think that there’s a perception somehow that we’re just sending in a whole bunch of strikes willy-nilly,” he said, deploying the sort of folksiness we haven’t heard in government statements about killing foreigners since Rumsfeld.

DEFINE “HUGE”: “Drones have not caused a huge number of civilian casualties,” he said, deploying the sort of dismissiveness about civilian casualties that we haven’t heard... well, actually government statements have always been dismissive about civilian casualties.

OH, THERE’S A LIST, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US THERE’S A LIST: “This is a targeted, focused effort at people who are on a list of active terrorists who are trying to go in and harm Americans, hit American facilities, American bases, and so on.” Did he mention there’s a list?

DRONE LEASHES: “It is important for everybody to understand that this thing is kept on a very tight leash.”

He explained that using flying robots to kill people in Pakistan was really all about respecting Pakistan’s sovereignty: “But understand that probably our ability to respect the sovereignty of other countries and to limit our incursions into somebody else’s territory is enhanced by the fact that we are able to pinpoint strike on al Qaeda operatives in a place where the capacities of that military in that country may not be able to get them. For us to be able to get them in another way would involve probably a lot more intrusive military actions than the one that we’re already engaging in.” Obviously the possibility of just not killing people in Pakistan is off the table; that’s just crazy talk.

Today -100: January 31, 1912: We are progressive in the sense that we are making progress all the time

Taft, evidently finally tired of all the criticism he’s receiving from within the Republican Party, makes a speech at the Columbus Glee Club denouncing Progressives, or rather declaring that the old-line Republicans are quite progressive enough, without “chasing chimeras and... unsettling the foundations of government merely to indulge in the fancies of hope.” “We are progressive in the sense that we are making progress all the time. But we are not progressive if that means the overturning of the Constitution and all the guarantees of life, liberty, and property, and all the checks on the momentary passion of the people.”

A negro is lynched in Cordele, Georgia, for supposedly assaulting a white girl.

Today -100: January 30, 1912: Of playboys and lawyers

Chicago’s Common Council (the city council, I guess) orders the play “The Playboy of the Western World” banned (there was a lot of heckling and stink bombs and such when it opened in NY last year).

Clarence Darrow is indicted for allegedly bribing a juror in the McNamara brothers’ case.

Today -100: January 29, 1912: Of nurses, dead generals, and Whigs

Italy seizes more Red Crescent nurses on the way to Libya, from a French steamer. One might begin to think that denying medical care was an intentional policy of some sort.

Not a good week for Ecuadoran military presidents. This time, José Eloy Alfaro, general and president 1895-1902 and 1906-11, who was arrested earlier in the month after a failed coup attempt, is killed by a mob that broke into his prison, along with his brother, who had been minister of war, and a few more generals.

The first woman to register to vote in Lake County, California, is 104 years old. She registers as a Whig.

Today -100: January 28, 1912: Of veterans, sacrifice cults, flying machines, and annoyed Italians

The last Civil War veterans still in the military are about to retire.

First NYT mention, I think, of a “Sacrifice Cult” in Louisiana, which has killed 26 people (five families). Victims and killers are all black, so I guess it’s not really news. (Update: the LA Times Jan. 30 issue says that no one has been arrested because no one is willing to talk about the cult, which is evidently a voodoo thing.)

The French military will purchase 328 flying machines (including dirigibles, I guess), because they heard Germany plans to do the same.

Headline of the Day -100: “Peace Pleas Annoy Italy.”

Republican Debate: You have to be realistic in your indignation / Trapped in a linguistics situation

Yeah, yeah, I’m late. And I couldn’t decide which quote to use in the post title.

Transcript.

PEOPLE COME TO THIS COUNTRY. First up: immigration! Santorum: “We are a country of laws. People come to this country. My grandfather came to this country because he wanted to come to a country that respected him.” Although it was his grandson who really made a name for himself.

He continues, “I’m someone who believes that - that we need immigration. We are not replacing ourselves.” More frothy mixture!

Gingrich: “I don’t think grandmothers and grandfathers will self-deport.”

Romney explains the self-deportation thing. People wouldn’t be able to find work (unless they worked off the books, exposing them to even more exploitation and abuse)(or were forced to turn to crime)(but those things would never happen, so, finding themselves completely broke, they’d catch a plane, one of those free ones, back to their country of origin).


Gingrich: “grandmothers and grandfathers aren’t going to be successfully deported. We’re not - we as a nation are not going to walk into some family - and by the way, they’re going to end up in a church, which will declare them a sanctuary.”



I PREFER TO BE INDIGNANT IN MY REALISM: Gingrich: “We’re not going - and I think you have to be realistic in your indignation. I want to control the border. I want English to be the official language of government. I want us to have a lot of changes.”

SKILL AND VITALITY AND VIBRANCE: Mittens says Gingrich calling him the most anti-immigrant candidate (in an ad) is “simply inexcusable.” After all, his father was born in Mexico (and never learned a word of Spanish, like everyone in the Mormon colony)(which is like a Moon colony, but blander)(and the cheese is Velveeta instead of green cheese). He says “I want people to come to America with skill and vitality and vibrance.” I don’t know what there is about the Republican nomination process that would make him think America needs to import skill and vitality and vibrance.

TRAPPED IN A LINGUISTICS SITUATION (WORST LIFETIME MOVIE EVER): Romney says he never saw his own ad and doubts it’s his ad, saying that Gingrich called Spanish the language of the ghetto, which Gingrich says he didn’t say (he did) but “my point was, no one should be trapped in a linguistics situation where they can’t go out and get a job and they can’t go out and work.”

Ron Paul calls for trade with Cuba.

NO MEANS NO: Paul: “Unfortunately, sometimes we slip up on our standards and we go around the world and we try to force ourselves on others.”


“NECESSARILY”? Paul: “I don’t think the nations in South America and Central America necessarily want us to come down there and dictate which government they should have.”

Santorum says Obama sided with Castro and Chavez in supporting President Zelaya of Honduras during the completely justified 2009 coup. (If you need a reminder, read my posts about the coup. Obama gave the mildest of tut tuts, never said that Zelaya should be allowed to return.)

Wolf seems to have done some googling during the commercial break and says that “language of the ghetto ad” was indeed one of Romney’s and he even did the “and I approved this ad” thing and everything.

IS THAT HOW MORMONS SAY SOMEONE FARTS A LOT? Romney on Gingrich working for Freddie Mac: “we should have had a whistle-blower and not horn-tooter.”


Then there’s the rich-guys-comparing-their-portfolios section of the debate. Gingrich reveals that Romney (gasp, horror) used to own shares in Fannie & Freddie (that always sounds like characters in a Jeeves & Wooster story to me) and Goldman Sachs. Romney says his trustee bought those and they were mutual funds and bonds, not stocks, which is really just like a US savings bond, and that Gingrich (gasp, horror) also has investments in Fannie & Freddie.

IN THIS SCENARIO, NOTE THAT GINGRICH IS NOT THE GIANT ELEPHANT: Gingrich: “compare my investments with his is like comparing a tiny mouse with a giant elephant.”

What do you think of this, Ron Paul? “That - that subject really doesn’t interest me a whole lot.”

But Paul says Fannie & Freddie “should have been auctioned off right after the crash came.” Yes, sell off government assets at their lowest possible valuation.


Gingrich says Blitzer asking him whether he’s satisfied with Romney’s disclosure of last year’s tax returns is “a nonsense question.” Dude, you’re the one who kept bringing it up the last couple of debates. He continues, “Look, how about if the four of us agree for the rest of the evening, we’ll actually talk about issues that relate to governing America?” There are few sights in American politics as absurd as that of Newton Gingrich pretending to seize the high moral ground.


THERE’S A TIME AND A PLACE: Blitzer quotes Gingrich’s own words on Romney’s tax returns back to him. Gingrich: “I did. And I’m perfectly happy to say that on an interview on some TV show. But this is a national debate”. Romney: “Wouldn’t it be nice if people didn’t make accusations somewhere else that they weren’t willing to defend here?” There are few sights in American politics as absurd as that of Twitt Romney pretending to seize the high moral ground.

Romney says his having had a Swiss bank account is not at all suspicious, his trustee was just diversifying his investments. And “Speaker, you’ve indicated that somehow I don’t earn that money. I have earned the money that I have. I didn’t inherit it. ... I’m proud of being successful.”

Santorum says we shouldn’t tax the rich because trickle down blah blah blah.

MAYBE IT’S NOT A SOLUTION, BUT IT WOULD BE FUN TO HEAR THEM SQUEAL: Ron Paul wants to get rid of the 16th Amendment, because if you have income taxes you can afford a welfare state (“and if you have a welfare state, no matter whether the welfare state is designed to help the poor, you know, the welfare system helps the wealthy”) and policing the world. Says Reagan taxed too much, the fucking liberal. Taxing the rich “is not a solution.”

Blitzer: Ron Paul, you’re really old; are you going to die soon? Paul: “I’m willing to challenge any of these gentlemen up here to a 25-mile bike ride any time of the day in the heat of Texas.” Noon, Gingrich, bike shorts, slightly too-small bicycle. MAKE THIS HAPPEN!

Then Paul warns Blitzer that “there are laws against age discrimination, so if you push this too much, you better be careful.” See, there is a type of discrimination he’s in favor of the state trying to prevent. Who knew?


MOST PHALLIC ROCKET? Romney would not build a moon colony because it would be too expensive. Gingrich says we could do it by offering prizes.

He wants an American on the moon “before the Chinese get there,” adding, “I mean, have you seen how tacky most Chinese restaurants are?” But his program “would probably end up being 90 percent private sector,” so it would all be done by Chinese child labor anyway.

HE LIKES FIRING PEOPLE: Romney: “If I had a business executive come to me and say they wanted to spend a few hundred billion dollars to put a colony on the moon, I’d say, ‘You’re fired.’” And, by implication, Romney just fired Gingrich.

Ron Paul would send some politicians to the moon, ha ha. Possibly on a bike.

A woman says she’s unemployed and can’t afford insurance. Ron Paul this is the fault of Medicare. Because it raises the cost of health care by making it possible for more people to actually get it. Demand and supply, you know. Moron.

AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP: Gingrich wrote a book which “calls for you and your doctor and your pharmacist and your hospital have a relationship.”

JUST LIKE BARACK OBAMA: Then follows the 53rd iteration of Romney being forced to explain Romneycare while Santorum snipes at him – “And you have a pre-existing condition clause in yours, just like Barack Obama.” Romney denies that Romneycare is a government-run plan, then accuses Obamacare of being a government-run plan. Paul repeats that back in the good old days there was no Medicare or Medicaid, and everybody lived forever and rode bikes in the heat of Texas all day and night.


Which Hispanic would you put in your cabinet? Santorum sucks up to Marco Rubio. Gingrich more or less says that Rubio would be his running mate. He & Romney are able to name several Hispanics they like, Paul is not (I guess they don’t have any in Texas).

Why would your wife be the bestest First Lady ever? Ron Paul: she wrote a cookbook. Romney says his wife battled breast cancer and MS, a degenerative disease, “successfully.” Gingrich says all 3 of the candidates’ wives who are present today would be terrific first ladies, and I can’t think of a single joke to make about that. He says that Callista plays the French horn (I’ll bet she does, I’ll bet she does). Santorum says that his wife was a neo-natal intensive care nurse and then a lawyer and then married him and “gave that up” to have lots and lots of babies, like Jesus intended. And she wrote a book on manners.

THE ROMNEYBOT ATTACK MACHINE 3000: Gingrich: “Well, it’s increasingly interesting to watch the Romney attack machine coordinate things.”

OF COURSE NOT; THEY’RE IN THE CLOSET: Paul: “And people - I don’t think they see a Jihadist under the bed every night.”

Cuba. Oh, I think you can pretty much guess what they all said.

Middle East. Romney: “the Israelis would be happy to have a two-state solution. It’s the Palestinians who don’t want a two-state solution. They want to eliminate the state of Israel.” Obama saying that the 1967 borders are the starting point of negotiations is “throw[ing] Israel under the bus”. Gingrich repeats that Palestinians were “invented” in the late 1970s (he’s a historian, you know), possibly cloned from sweat taken from Arafat’s keffiyeh, and that peace negotiations are “war by another form” and he’d move the US embassy to Jerusalem.


What, Santorum isn’t going to be asked about the Middle East? I’ll bet he’d be hilarious.

Santorum won’t take a position on Puerto Rico statehood.

How would your religious beliefs affect your actions? Ron Paul. They wouldn’t. Romney would seek the guidance of Providence, Rhode Island, for some reason. Gingrich says he’s running to oppose the war against religion by the secular elite. Both Romney & Santorum bring up the Declaration of Independence, which evidently “described the relationship between God and man” (Romney).


UM, YEAH. Romney: “This is not just an average election.”

Gingrich’s campaign iS for “every American... who prefers the Declaration of Independence to Saul Alinsky”.

Santorum says Gingrich & Mittens both “bought into the global warming hoax”.

Today -100: January 27, 1912: The peace of the world is now assured

Manchester, CT, gives a pauper a wooden leg, stamped “This leg is the property of the town of Manchester, loaned to William Armstrong, and is not to be hocked, sold, or exchanged without a majority vote of the Board of Selectmen.” Because one selectman had complained that people with wooden legs often hock them.

General Pedro Montero, proclaimed president of Ecuador by the army less than a month ago, is shot, beheaded, and burned by a mob, as is traditional.

According to Karl Liebknecht, the strength of the Social Democrats (SPD) in the new German Reichstag means “the peace of the world is now assured”. Phew.

Headline of the Day -100 (LA Times): “The Famine in China: Nobody Much Interested in It so the President [Taft] Makes a Special Plea for Funds.”

Caption contest

Today -100: January 26, 1912: Of kaiser divisions and free speech

German Socialist Karl Liebknecht, fresh off an 18-month prison term for anti-militarist propaganda, wins the “kaiser division” of Potsdam (where Wilhelm lives most of the time). The SPD is now the largest party in the Reichstag, with more than 100 seats.

First Lord of the Admiralty Winston Churchill agrees to find a new location for a Home Rule meeting scheduled for Feb. 8 in Ulster Hall, but insists that Unionists will not prevent him from making the speech. “It is my duty to keep my promise to the Ulster Liberal Association and assert the right of free speech in public meeting. ... It has... become of importance to public liberties that a meeting should take place at Belfast on Feb. 8”. The hall was where Churchill’s father coined the phrase “Ulster will fight, and Ulster will be right.”

Separated at birth X2

All over the internet today, origins unknown:


A similar comparison was made right here a few years ago:

Today -100: January 25, 1912: Of spelling, Jews, murderer’s arms, and interracial marriages

Headline of the Day -100: “Blease Sure He Can Spell.” South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease sends a special message to the Legislature accusing it of deliberately inserting misspellings – explanitory for explanatory – into his messages when they are printed in the House Journal, to make him look illiterate. Also, he wants a committee appointed to inform the people just who it was who burned Columbia during the Civil War.

Russian Prime Minister Kokovstoff responds to questions from Colliers about Taft’s abrogation of the 1832 Russia-US treaty. He says it is unreasonable for the US to object to American Jews being banned from Russia. After all, the US bans people whose religion tolerates polygamy. And anyway, Russia discriminates against its own Jews, so why should American Jews enjoy greater rights in Russia than Russian Jews? These restrictions “are considered a measure of defense for the Russian masses against alien domination”, just like the US bans entry of Asiatics. So that’s okay then.

Medical Headline of the Day -100: “Refuse Murderer’s Arm.” A French surgeon wants to experiment with grafting limbs onto people who’ve lost theirs. But a one-armed man has refused to accept an arm from a guillotined murderer.

Racist Headline of the Day -100 (L.A. Times): “White Man and Negress Wed: ‘We Love Each Other and We’ll Be Happy.’” Inter-racial marriage was evidently big news. The couple were married on a boat going to Catalina Island. The captain of the boat says he would have stopped it had he known. The reverend who officiated called the district attorney first to find out if such a marriage was legal.

State of the Union Address: Can you blame them for feeling a little cynical?

Transcript.

GOOD TIMES, GOOD TIMES: He starts by talking about Iraq. “We gather tonight knowing that this generation of heroes has made the United States safer and more respected around the world.” Just ask the people of Haditha about that fucking respect.

Hey, did I mention I killed bin Laden?

It took him five full sentences to get to the binLadencide; you gotta admire the restraint.

And “The Taliban’s momentum has been broken”. He’s been saying that over and over for two or three years now and he keeps failing to say what it actually means.

For the first of several times, he suggests that we should all be like members of the military because “They’re not consumed with personal ambition. They don’t obsess over their differences.” In the last iteration of this, he adds “gay or straight” to the list of differences that don’t matter in the military, which is cute, I guess. It’s the only mention of gay people in the speech.

Boehner’s doing that thing with his mouth again this year.

In 2008, “the house of cards collapsed. We learned that mortgages had been sold to people who couldn’t afford or understand them.” So he’s saying they were too stupid to understand their mortgages – “couldn’t” understand them.

His narrative of the decline of manufacturing jobs is that these jobs actually still exist, but were moved overseas, one for one, and can be brought back by the right policies, mostly in the tax code. He mentions exactly one company bringing jobs back, Master Lock. See if you can spot the word in this sentence at which Republicans stopped applauding: “Today, for the first time in fifteen years, Master Lock’s unionized plant in Milwaukee is running at full capacity.”

Did you guess “unionized”? I thought you would.

HE’S A MAN WAY OUT THERE IN THE BLUE, RIDING ON A SMILE AND A SHOESHINE: “I will go anywhere in the world to open new markets for American products.”

“Over a thousand Americans are working today because we stopped a surge in Chinese tires.”

“Every person in this chamber can point to a teacher who changed the trajectory of their lives.”

It’s tradition that every SOTU has its “mission to Mars” thing that is never heard from again. This time, it’s a proposal for states to raise the age of mandatory schooling to 18 (or graduation, whichever comes first). (Unless the mission to Mars thing is the vests “that can stop any bullet.”)

Threatens to reduce funding to colleges that raise tuition.

THERE’S A TIME MACHINE GAP! “Don’t let other countries win the race for the future.”

Call-out to another company: Energetx, which makes 1) wind turbines, 2) people wonder what they were thinking with that name.

WE WANT OUR FUCKING WIND BACK, CHINA: “I will not cede the wind or solar or battery industry to China or Germany”.

He admits he’s giving up on getting this Congress to do anything about climate change.

HMM, WHO WAS IT WHO WANTED THE HOUSING MARKET TO HIT BOTTOM? “responsible homeowners shouldn’t have to sit and wait for the housing market to hit bottom to get some relief.”

He’s happy to get rid of “rules that don’t make sense,” such as something about spilled milk, because he could make an obvious unfunny joke about it. Obama should never ever try to tell a joke.

Am I right that I heard booing when he mentioned consumer financial protection dude Richard Cordray?

COULDN’T SOMEONE HAVE ARRANGED FOR A CAMERA TO BE ON MITT ROMNEY AS HE WATCHED THIS SPEECH? “a quarter of all millionaires pay lower tax rates than millions of middle-class households.”

IT’S THE FUCKING RICH PEOPLE WE WANT TO SEE DROWNED IN GIANT VATS OF EXCREMENT: “We don’t begrudge financial success in this country. We admire it.”

“But no matter what party they belong to, I bet most Americans are thinking the same thing right now...” (“For this we’re missing ‘New Girl’?”) “...Nothing will get done this year, or next year, or maybe even the year after that, because Washington is broken. Can you blame them for feeling a little cynical?” Yes, if they’re only feeling a little cynical.

ALTHOUGH A PERPETUAL CAMPAIGN OF MUTUAL DESTRUCTION BETWEEN NEWT GINGRICH AND MITT ROMNEY WOULD BE HILARIOUS: “We need to end the notion that the two parties must be locked in a perpetual campaign of mutual destruction”.

IF BY “ACHIEVE” YOU MEAN REDUCING FOREIGN COUNTRIES TO RUBBLE: “Because when we act together, there is nothing the United States of America can’t achieve. That is the lesson we’ve learned from our actions abroad over the last few years.”

HE WAS IN FAVOR OF VIOLENCE AND INTIMIDATION BEFORE HE WAS AGAINST VIOLENCE AND INTIMIDATION: “We will stand against violence and intimidation,” he says, about two minutes after this drone-tastic line: “From Pakistan to Yemen, the al Qaeda operatives who remain are scrambling, knowing that they can’t escape the reach of the United States of America.”

He notes that Qaddafi is “gone” as an example to Syria’s Assad, who “will soon discover that the forces of change can’t be reversed, and that human dignity can’t be denied.” Qaddafi, for example, was pulled out of a sewer pipe, sodomized with a bayonet and then shot. You know, human dignity. Can’t be denied.

He will “take no options off the table” to stop Iran getting a nuclear weapon.

Re Israel: “the closest military cooperation between our two countries in history.” What does that actually mean?

I HATE SEQUELS: “From the coalitions we’ve built to secure nuclear materials, to the missions we’ve led against hunger and disease; from the blows we’ve dealt to our enemies; to the enduring power of our moral example, America is back.”

“Anyone who tells you otherwise, anyone who tells you that America is in decline or that our influence has waned, doesn’t know what they’re talking about.”

“One of my proudest possessions is the flag that the SEAL Team took with them on the mission to get bin Laden. On it are each of their names.” And what looks suspiciously like dried semen.

AND WHO’S BEHIND YOUR BACK RIGHT NOW? JOHN BOEHNER. JUST SAYING. “This Nation is great because we get each other’s backs.”

Military justice triumphs

Sgt. Frank Wuterich is not, in fact, going to spend a single day in prison for leading the Haditha Massacre, because evidently he’s suffered enough. So 24 deaths, and he gets a reduction in rank (update: maybe not even that). I don’t even think he gets the reduction in pay, since that was only to be during his time in prison.

He issued a statement to the families of those he and his men slaughtered: “I wish to assure you that on that day it was never my intention to harm you or your families. I know that you are the real victims of Nov. 19, 2005.”

“For six years I have had to accept that my name will always be associated with a massacre, with being a cold-blooded baby killer, an ‘out-of-control’ monster and a conspiring liar,” the out-of-control monster continued. “There’s nothing I can do about whoever believes those things. All I can do is continue to be who I’ve always been – me.”

Republican Debate: Unnecessarily personal and nasty

Shorter Republican debate, as aptly summarized by Newt Gingrich: “You know, there is a point in the process where it gets unnecessarily personal and nasty, and that’s sad.”

Today -100: January 24, 1912: Confiscation? Really?

3 judges of the NY Court of Special Sessions rules that theaters can’t exclude black people. The NYT thinks that this amounts to a confiscation, because white people would stop attending, and that “The friends of the negroes [presumably the NAACP, which brought this case] are doing them a disservice in this matter.”

Obit of the Day -100: Capt. Julius Hargreaves of the Confederate Army, who may have fired the first gun of the Civil War. He lost a leg in the war and has died of apoplexy.

I probably just should have said nothing

The military finally convicted someone for their role in the Haditha Massacre of 24 innocent Iraqi civilians in 2005. Frank Wuterich’s court-martial ended today with a plea deal. He’ll skate on all the manslaughter charges, but by gum they’ve nailed him for negligent dereliction of duty. Although telling his men, “shoot first and ask questions later,” as Wuterich admitted to having done, doesn’t seem “negligent.” A closer fit for “negligent dereliction of duty” would be the work of the military prosecutors, who somehow failed to get this single pathetic conviction in their prosecutions of eight of the war criminals.

Wuterich will get 3 months.

Max.

Here’s Wuterich, manfully taking responsibility today for the “shoot first and ask questions later” thing: “Honestly, I probably should have said nothing. I think we all understood what we were doing so I probably just should have said nothing.”

Today -100: January 23, 1912: Of kaiser districts, lynchings, aerial warfare (with camels), and new states

The German Socialists fail to take the “Kaiser district” of Berlin during the second round of Reichstag elections, so I guess the kaiser doesn’t have to move to Potsdam after all. The seat was won by a Radical by just 7 votes, including the votes of many Conservatives, who held their noses in order that the Socialists not get a symbolic victory.

Four negroes, one of them a woman, are seized from the Harris County, Georgia jail and lynched.

The LAT reports that 32 airplanes are attached to the Italian forces in Libya. They will accompany the expeditionary forces into the interior, but will require portable sheds, which will be dismantled and moved by camel. The Italians are finding one limit to aerial warfare: severe nervous strain on the aviators, requiring frequent rests and vacations to prevent nervous breakdowns. Also, dropping bombs from planes turns out not to be worth the risk to the pilots (who have to drop their own bombs from Italy’s single-seaters), and has been discontinued.

New Mexico has been a state for a whole week now. But there are some hitches. For example, Republican officials appointed by the old territorial administration have refused to resign to the new Democratic governor. Also, through another oversight in drafting the constitution, there’s no mechanism to pay state officials, who have to hope they’ll be reimbursed later.

The weapons of the left

Romney accusing all critics of Bain Capital of an “assault on to free enterprise” is like accusing all critics of Netanyahu’s policies of being anti-Semitic.

Romney says “Those who pick up the weapons of the left today will find them turned against us tomorrow.” First they came for Bain, and I said nothing...

Today -100: January 22, 1912: Of flower nations, nurses, and booms

China will now call itself Chung Hwa-Kwo, meaning Middle Flower Nation.

As part of its war in Libya, Italy seized a French steamer last week. Its captain then handed over 29 Turkish Red Crescent nurses, possibly at the orders of the French government, though France denies it.

The behind-the-scenes turmoil in the Republican Party has rather confused the press. The NYT reports that Taft supporters have (finally) figured out that the Roosevelt boom isn’t spontaneous but well planned-out and financed. The LAT, on the other hand, explains that Taft is serene despite the Roosevelt boom because he’s sure TR won’t accept the Republican nomination if it’s offered, much less run for it.

Today -100: January 21, 1912: Of apologies, bores, recalls, nefarious conspiracies and disgusted kaisers

South Carolina Gov. Coleman Blease vetoes a Libel Bill which would have allowed newspapers to issue an apology to mitigate damages in libel cases. Blease’s veto message attacked the press in such strong terms that the Lege is considering expunging it from the record. (Update: they do expunge it.)

Disappointing Headline of the Day -100: “Bores His Way Out of Sing Sing Roof.” For just a second I thought he told the guards dull stories to put them to sleep or something.

Speaking at the NY Bar Association dinner, President Taft condemns the idea of recall of judges, the inclusion of which in the proposed constitution of Arizona caused him to veto the statehood bill. He explains: “Popular government we all believe in.” Do you feel a “however” coming up? “There are those of us, however, who believe that not all people are fitted for popular self-government.” And I’d like to ask them for their votes for my re-election in just a few months. “The fact is that they are not. Some of us don’t dare say so. But I do.” I do, Billy One-Term. “The question of whether a people is fitted for popular self-government is determined by the ability of that people to place on itself the restraints by which the minority shall receive justice despite the majority.” Actually, his argument is the perfectly reasonable one that courts and the Constitution protect minorities and that judicial recall endangers that, but the tone of arrogant contempt for the majority of the electorate does seem like the sort of thing a politician might sensibly avoid.

I believe former president Roosevelt will be expressing his opinion on this issue shortly...

In addition to the Bar Association dinner, Taft also attended the Society of the Genesee dinner and the Jewelers’ 24-Karat Club dinner. They gave him a new watch because his old one had stopped working, possibly, he said, “because the mere association of a thing with me makes running difficult” – Taft made a fat joke! At his third dinner of the evening! And then he went back to the first dinner. It was a busy day: he also “helped put out a fire” at Yale University. Well, that’s what the headline says; he actually seems to have just stood in the crowd, unnoticed, watching the firemen put it out.

20,000 attend a Unionist meeting in Omagh. Sir Edward Carson calls Irish Home Rule “the most nefarious conspiracy that had ever been hatched against free citizens.” Ulsterites are practicing military drills and preparing to organize their own government the minute
Home Rule is put into effect to “hold Ulster in trust for the British Empire.” On the other side, Irish Nationalists are forming their own Boy Scouts.

Headline of the Day -100: “German Elections Disgust the Kaiser.” One-third of the electorate voted Socialist.

They’re probably not thrilled with GI Joes either

Iran is once again cracking down on the sale of Barbie dolls. This is a long-standing vendetta on the part of the Islamic Republic. The Daily Telegraph, May 7, 1996:

THE appearance of smuggled Barbie dolls in shops in Iran has prompted Islamic hardliners to dub them ‘satanic’ in an attempt to dissuade people from buying them.

Hardliners say that the ‘unwholesome flexibility of these dolls, their destructive beauty and their semi-nudity have an effect on the minds and morality of young children’.