Saturday, September 21, 2002
Still thinking in pre-9/11 terms
Gray Davis’s ads keep telling us that California rose from the 7th to the 5th largest economy in the world under him. Actually, thanks to the dotcom bust, we’ve dropped behind France. But a Davis spokesman says “We will not surrender.” Fortunately, as ever, France will. “We won’t fight about numbers,” said the Chief Stereotype Upholder at the French Consulate.
What Davis isn’t bragging about is that the California state fish (!), the California golden trout, is becoming endangered. Oddly enough, if it gets listed, the government will tell the California golden trout who they can fuck, because evidently the problem is in part that they are miscegenating with other breeds of trout. And then how do you bring up the children? All very Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.
Still no word on making the banana slug the official state mollusk, a bill for which was vetoed by Deukmejian, as you will all recall.
Unclear on the concept: the FEC fines the Democratic Party $243,000 for accepting $1,000,000 in illegal campaign contributions in 1996.
Israeli troops are tearing up Arafat’s headquarters around him, and replace the Palestinian flag with an Israeli one. Not terribly subtle, the Israelis.
A cute piece in the Wash Post on how Texas still doesn’t see what the big deal is about executing people, and candidates routinely accuse each other of being soft on executing the retarded.
Maureen Dowd has the perfect analogy for Bush’s streamrollering tactics for his war on Iraq: “Bush is like the guy who reserves a hotel room and then asks you to the prom.” And a quote from Rumsfeld I’d missed: "I suggest that any who insist on perfect evidence are back in the 20th century and still thinking in pre-9/11 terms." Didn’t we already bomb a country because we blamed it for bin Laden? How many countries can we blame for the same thing? Isn’t going after Iraq like the FBI continuing to name different people as the “20th hijacker”?
Can you believe that Union Carbide still isn’t telling Bhopal exactly what chemicals it released 18 years ago?
Friday, September 20, 2002
Nichtregierungsfaehig
There was a demo in Vienna today against a plan to require horses drawing carriages to wear diapers. The protesters protested by wearing, you guessed it, diapers.
Slate nicely provides a link to this 1999 Wash Post story about US infiltration of UNSCOM, including sneaking in equipment to intercept Iraqi military communications having nothing to do with the UNSCOM mission.
Shrub’s proposed resolution will do what I said the UN resolution he wants would do, transfer all decision-making power to Bush with a single vote, after which he would not have to bother with them again. It calls for him to be allowed to use “all means,” which we expected, when and if he wants, and in advance of any UN resolution and in advance of finding out how inspections actually go. Even the 1991 resolution required the government to use peaceful means first. What’s impressive is that the Bushies wrote the resolution so it doesn’t even restrict possible military action to Iraq. When they say they want “maximum flexibility,” they mean it. I hear yoga is good for that.
The Bushies are really pissed at German Chancellor Schröder for using opposition to Bush’s wars in his reelection campaign. And especially since that position may put the SPD over the top. But they’re really pissed that the justice minister compared Bush’s actions to Hitler’s, in using foreign conquests to detract from domestic failures. The Bush people think this is unfair, and point out that Hitler’s domestic policies, especially economic, were much more successful than Bush’s.
In the minute and a half I spent studying German, I missed one of their really useful compound words: nichtregierungsfaehig, meaning “unfit to govern.” Let’s all try to subtly work that word into a conversation. Add a .de to the end of that, and it’s an SPD website. Not quite sure what the animation of the donkey crapping is meant to signify.
Shrub also releases a new military doctrine of pre-emption, while trying not to use the word. I believe the title is Kill Them All, Let God Sort Them Out, since its premise is that there need be no proof of a specific threat in order for US action to constitute “self-defence.” It makes a pretense of multi-lateralism, which William Saletan of Slate says is merely unilateralism in disguise, since it involves creating coalitions only of whoever is willing to back us up in doing whatever we damned well want to do. It also says that the US will remain militarily far superior to anyone else forever, and that anyone trying to come close will get their ass kicked (“dissuade future military competition”).(The US now spends as much as the next 8 military powers combined). The Times reminds us that Bush when running for this job promised a “humble foreign policy.” By the way, non-proliferation will be replaced by counterproliferation, whatever the hell that might be.
Colin Powell says that the US will block UN inspectors going to Iraq unless it gets the resolution it wants. In other words, no inspectors without authorizing the US to go to war.
Slate nicely provides a link to this 1999 Wash Post story about US infiltration of UNSCOM, including sneaking in equipment to intercept Iraqi military communications having nothing to do with the UNSCOM mission.
Shrub’s proposed resolution will do what I said the UN resolution he wants would do, transfer all decision-making power to Bush with a single vote, after which he would not have to bother with them again. It calls for him to be allowed to use “all means,” which we expected, when and if he wants, and in advance of any UN resolution and in advance of finding out how inspections actually go. Even the 1991 resolution required the government to use peaceful means first. What’s impressive is that the Bushies wrote the resolution so it doesn’t even restrict possible military action to Iraq. When they say they want “maximum flexibility,” they mean it. I hear yoga is good for that.
The Bushies are really pissed at German Chancellor Schröder for using opposition to Bush’s wars in his reelection campaign. And especially since that position may put the SPD over the top. But they’re really pissed that the justice minister compared Bush’s actions to Hitler’s, in using foreign conquests to detract from domestic failures. The Bush people think this is unfair, and point out that Hitler’s domestic policies, especially economic, were much more successful than Bush’s.
In the minute and a half I spent studying German, I missed one of their really useful compound words: nichtregierungsfaehig, meaning “unfit to govern.” Let’s all try to subtly work that word into a conversation. Add a .de to the end of that, and it’s an SPD website. Not quite sure what the animation of the donkey crapping is meant to signify.
Shrub also releases a new military doctrine of pre-emption, while trying not to use the word. I believe the title is Kill Them All, Let God Sort Them Out, since its premise is that there need be no proof of a specific threat in order for US action to constitute “self-defence.” It makes a pretense of multi-lateralism, which William Saletan of Slate says is merely unilateralism in disguise, since it involves creating coalitions only of whoever is willing to back us up in doing whatever we damned well want to do. It also says that the US will remain militarily far superior to anyone else forever, and that anyone trying to come close will get their ass kicked (“dissuade future military competition”).(The US now spends as much as the next 8 military powers combined). The Times reminds us that Bush when running for this job promised a “humble foreign policy.” By the way, non-proliferation will be replaced by counterproliferation, whatever the hell that might be.
Colin Powell says that the US will block UN inspectors going to Iraq unless it gets the resolution it wants. In other words, no inspectors without authorizing the US to go to war.
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
The higher good
Santa Cruz handed out medical marijuana yesterday, so I guess it hasn’t changed that much since I left. More proof: one of the sponsors was the “Wo/Men’s Alliance for Medical Marijuana.” Favorite line in the NY Times article: “While people smoked marijuana on the lawn in front of City Hall, cigarette smokers were asked to move to the sidewalk.” The DEA sent a helicopter to try to drown out the demonstration. A candidate for city council said that “it would be noble of them if they felt the pain a little bit and did something for the higher good.” He should immediately be kicked in the balls, for the higher good. Wait, did he really say *higher* good? He also thinks marijuana is responsible for the rampant heroin use in Beach Flats, my, um, old neighborhood.
Once again, Florida’s elections were so badly screwed up that it’s impossible to tell who really won. Reno had to pull out, not because she lost, but because to do otherwise would have cost so much money and time that whoever was finally declared the victor in the primary would have lost to the Jebster. Well good look to Mc-whatshisname, but that wasn’t a real election. When people aren’t allowed to vote, when polling stations open late or close early, etc etc, you shouldn’t even bother to count whatever votes the computers didn’t eat, because the conditions for a fair election were not there.
Saw my first commercial for a proposition today. Evidently Ahnuld Schwarzeneger is sponsoring one for after-school programs. The ad directs you to the website www.joinarnold.com, where you can read about Prop 49 and, oddly, see a picture of him in bathing trucks showing off his muscles at least 20 years ago.
Saw Rummy Rumsfeld on McNeil-Lehrer today. Haven’t seen someone so smug since Elliot Abrams.
I read a funny story about chemical warfare today. In 1939 the British, unsure of whether the Germans would use mustard gas as in the first war (they didn’t), were testing the possibility of chemically treating knickers to protect members of Highland regiments. See, true Scotsmen are a) insane, b) wear nothing under their kilts (see a), and during WWI had experienced some rather nasty burns in their nether regions. Kilts were banned in 1940, but that didn’t stop officers continuing to wear them, although it made them a target for snipers, at least when they stopped laughing.
Also read about the new right-wing nut president of Colombia. OK I knew that when he was a governor he started vigilante groups and the homicide rate doubled in his state (and plummeted when he left again), but the Sunday Times strongly suggested that his career has benefitted from the drug cartels. He was mayor of Medellin in the early ‘80s when Pablo Escobar was pumping all that money into civic projects there. And he was head of civil aviation at a time when many pilot licenses were being handed out to smugglers. The article was a bit light on proof, but I guess it wouldn’t surprise me.
Once again, Florida’s elections were so badly screwed up that it’s impossible to tell who really won. Reno had to pull out, not because she lost, but because to do otherwise would have cost so much money and time that whoever was finally declared the victor in the primary would have lost to the Jebster. Well good look to Mc-whatshisname, but that wasn’t a real election. When people aren’t allowed to vote, when polling stations open late or close early, etc etc, you shouldn’t even bother to count whatever votes the computers didn’t eat, because the conditions for a fair election were not there.
Saw my first commercial for a proposition today. Evidently Ahnuld Schwarzeneger is sponsoring one for after-school programs. The ad directs you to the website www.joinarnold.com, where you can read about Prop 49 and, oddly, see a picture of him in bathing trucks showing off his muscles at least 20 years ago.
Saw Rummy Rumsfeld on McNeil-Lehrer today. Haven’t seen someone so smug since Elliot Abrams.
I read a funny story about chemical warfare today. In 1939 the British, unsure of whether the Germans would use mustard gas as in the first war (they didn’t), were testing the possibility of chemically treating knickers to protect members of Highland regiments. See, true Scotsmen are a) insane, b) wear nothing under their kilts (see a), and during WWI had experienced some rather nasty burns in their nether regions. Kilts were banned in 1940, but that didn’t stop officers continuing to wear them, although it made them a target for snipers, at least when they stopped laughing.
Also read about the new right-wing nut president of Colombia. OK I knew that when he was a governor he started vigilante groups and the homicide rate doubled in his state (and plummeted when he left again), but the Sunday Times strongly suggested that his career has benefitted from the drug cartels. He was mayor of Medellin in the early ‘80s when Pablo Escobar was pumping all that money into civic projects there. And he was head of civil aviation at a time when many pilot licenses were being handed out to smugglers. The article was a bit light on proof, but I guess it wouldn’t surprise me.
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Taking yes for an answer, with singular bad grace
As expected, the US refused to take yes for an answer from Iraq. The first US statement was that it is not about inspections, it is about disarmament. Well yes, but I detect somebody quietly raising the bar, and then complaining that Hussein is quibbling with UN orders. Colin Powell whined (but in that dignified way) that Iraq had complied but had failed to admit the “error of its ways” for the last 12 years.
By the way, did you know that Condi Rice calls pre-emptive attacks “anticipatory defence”?
One problem for the US is that the UN inspectors are no longer working for it, under changes made since the US was discovered to have infiltrated spies (and bugs) into the inspectorate, as I mentioned a few days ago, but which everyone else in the world has forgotten. This will make it harder for the US to create a crisis by, say, trying to “inspect” Saddam Hussein’s palaces. UNSCOM was in fact abolished in 1999. It was one of those humorous pretend UN agencies whose deputy chief, the guy really in charge, was always, always an American. The new agency is called UNMOVIC and doesn’t even use American satellites. Oddly enough, one of its trained inspectors, an expert in biological warfare, is Steven Hatfill, the anthrax guy.
The US is pushing hard for a new UN resolution, you may have noticed, with a deadline. The idea is a Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, so that the US only has to bribe Security Council members once, and then never again. It could just declare Iraq in violation and launch its war, when it feels like, on any evidence or none. The US would not only be jury, but judge and executioner, since it would decide how to respond to Iraqi violations. Maximum flexibility would reside with Shrub. This is the equivalent of what he wants Congress to give him: not a declaration of war, but a free hand to decide when and what to do.
And today Bush says "It's time to determine whether or not they [the UN] will be a force for good and peace or an ineffective debating society." He sure does know how to sweet-talk people he wants favors from, doesn’t he?
There will be a movie of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The director will be the guy who did the Austin Powers movies, which seems like a not very good fit to me.
From the Daily Telegraph, with no sense of irony:
“An 86-year-old war veteran died after a teenager robbed him of his takeaway meat pie, mushy peas and gravy in an act of "senseless street violence", a court heard yesterday.”
By the way, did you know that Condi Rice calls pre-emptive attacks “anticipatory defence”?
One problem for the US is that the UN inspectors are no longer working for it, under changes made since the US was discovered to have infiltrated spies (and bugs) into the inspectorate, as I mentioned a few days ago, but which everyone else in the world has forgotten. This will make it harder for the US to create a crisis by, say, trying to “inspect” Saddam Hussein’s palaces. UNSCOM was in fact abolished in 1999. It was one of those humorous pretend UN agencies whose deputy chief, the guy really in charge, was always, always an American. The new agency is called UNMOVIC and doesn’t even use American satellites. Oddly enough, one of its trained inspectors, an expert in biological warfare, is Steven Hatfill, the anthrax guy.
The US is pushing hard for a new UN resolution, you may have noticed, with a deadline. The idea is a Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, so that the US only has to bribe Security Council members once, and then never again. It could just declare Iraq in violation and launch its war, when it feels like, on any evidence or none. The US would not only be jury, but judge and executioner, since it would decide how to respond to Iraqi violations. Maximum flexibility would reside with Shrub. This is the equivalent of what he wants Congress to give him: not a declaration of war, but a free hand to decide when and what to do.
And today Bush says "It's time to determine whether or not they [the UN] will be a force for good and peace or an ineffective debating society." He sure does know how to sweet-talk people he wants favors from, doesn’t he?
There will be a movie of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The director will be the guy who did the Austin Powers movies, which seems like a not very good fit to me.
From the Daily Telegraph, with no sense of irony:
“An 86-year-old war veteran died after a teenager robbed him of his takeaway meat pie, mushy peas and gravy in an act of "senseless street violence", a court heard yesterday.”
The greatest nation on the face of the Earth
Well, Iraq agrees to let weapons inspectors in, calling Bush’s bluff. I wonder if Saudi Arabia’s caving in to the US is what did it? The UN says it will take a few months before inspectors are ready, and months more to make any determination, which certainly screws with Bush’s Wag the Dog scenario for the November elections. Expect a smug little victory dance from the Bushies.
Speaking of democratic processes (and before I forget, thanks to the Swedes for not too many of them having voted for racists; we’ll see what happens in Germany) (Britain already has them, in the form of blind home secretary David Blunkett, who says that immigrants should speak English at home. Well goodness gracious me.), those in the Indian sub-continent are proceeding apace. Pakistan is forcing officials and soldiers to work for certain candidates, and Indian soldiers are combating a boycott of the polls in Kashmir by kidnapping people and dragging them to the polls, or threatening to cut off any fingers that don’t have indelible ink on them (and guess what the Kashmiri militants are threatening?). Finally, a word about the idiots responsible for WordPerfect’s spellcheck, which was fine with Kashmiri but never heard of Kashmir, and wants me to misspell kidnapping. Well, I had a word for those idiots, but the spellcheck never heard of that one either.
This weekend will see a huge protest in London. Not against the war, but against plans to ban hunting. Toffs from all over (the spellcheck doesn’t grok “toffs” either) will converge on the capital, Eton and Harrow will let their charges join in...
Bush’s economic adviser said that war with Iraq will be good for business. Oh, sure, it’ll cost $200 billion or so, but it should bring oil prices down, if we win quickly and exploit Iraq’s resources for all they’re worth and if oil companies don’t decide to make large profits instead of passing the savings on, so it’ll all work out, at least for big corporations, and wasn’t corporate greed what this war was supposed to distract us from? Environmentalists suggest that instead we just produce a car that runs on ground-up Iraqis, and cut out the middle man. Anyway, it’s nice to hear this sort of “jobs jobs jobs” justification for the war, à la James Baker, on a day when William Safire is sneering at France and Russia’s opposition to the war, supposedly because it would interfere with their business arrangements with Iraq.
As I keep saying, the war with Iraq never actually stopped in 1991. The US’s enforcement of its no-fly zone (which it is worth repeating was declared by the US and not the UN) has been altered in order to do more damage to Iraqi infrastructure, using bigger weaponry and attacking fixed facilities.
Just when I’m complaining that Americans have no sense of history, the Republican Party takes out ads against Tom Harkin for a vote to tax Social Security in 1983 (of course the ads don’t say it was in 1983).
Speaking of history, today is the 20th anniversary of the Sabra & Shatila massacres.
Speaking of 20, yet another “20th hijacker” has been arrested. This is beginning to seem less like a manhunt than an audition. Bush “he forgot the greatest nation on the face of the Earth is after them”. Pakistan?
Speaking of democratic processes (and before I forget, thanks to the Swedes for not too many of them having voted for racists; we’ll see what happens in Germany) (Britain already has them, in the form of blind home secretary David Blunkett, who says that immigrants should speak English at home. Well goodness gracious me.), those in the Indian sub-continent are proceeding apace. Pakistan is forcing officials and soldiers to work for certain candidates, and Indian soldiers are combating a boycott of the polls in Kashmir by kidnapping people and dragging them to the polls, or threatening to cut off any fingers that don’t have indelible ink on them (and guess what the Kashmiri militants are threatening?). Finally, a word about the idiots responsible for WordPerfect’s spellcheck, which was fine with Kashmiri but never heard of Kashmir, and wants me to misspell kidnapping. Well, I had a word for those idiots, but the spellcheck never heard of that one either.
This weekend will see a huge protest in London. Not against the war, but against plans to ban hunting. Toffs from all over (the spellcheck doesn’t grok “toffs” either) will converge on the capital, Eton and Harrow will let their charges join in...
Bush’s economic adviser said that war with Iraq will be good for business. Oh, sure, it’ll cost $200 billion or so, but it should bring oil prices down, if we win quickly and exploit Iraq’s resources for all they’re worth and if oil companies don’t decide to make large profits instead of passing the savings on, so it’ll all work out, at least for big corporations, and wasn’t corporate greed what this war was supposed to distract us from? Environmentalists suggest that instead we just produce a car that runs on ground-up Iraqis, and cut out the middle man. Anyway, it’s nice to hear this sort of “jobs jobs jobs” justification for the war, à la James Baker, on a day when William Safire is sneering at France and Russia’s opposition to the war, supposedly because it would interfere with their business arrangements with Iraq.
As I keep saying, the war with Iraq never actually stopped in 1991. The US’s enforcement of its no-fly zone (which it is worth repeating was declared by the US and not the UN) has been altered in order to do more damage to Iraqi infrastructure, using bigger weaponry and attacking fixed facilities.
Just when I’m complaining that Americans have no sense of history, the Republican Party takes out ads against Tom Harkin for a vote to tax Social Security in 1983 (of course the ads don’t say it was in 1983).
Speaking of history, today is the 20th anniversary of the Sabra & Shatila massacres.
Speaking of 20, yet another “20th hijacker” has been arrested. This is beginning to seem less like a manhunt than an audition. Bush “he forgot the greatest nation on the face of the Earth is after them”. Pakistan?
Sunday, September 15, 2002
The NY Times says that any commercial radio station can simply push public radio stations with weaker signals right off the air, and that right-wing religious broadcasters are doing this deliberately.
I’ve lost track of how many countries have given in to US pressure regarding the International Criminal Court, but one which has is the newest, East Timor. Which is especially egregious because the original Indonesian invasion was green-lighted by the US, specifically by Henry Kissinger, that one-man war crime wave.
Hong Kong, following Beijing’s commands, is planning a law against sedition and subversion.
Post on how the R’s are using “faith-based initiatives” as election-year bribery.
One of my sources of odd websites doesn’t seem to realize that this one is a satire, of parental hysteria over paedophiles. I especially like this one, under Upcoming Events:
You might also read Barry’s column on the Florida election debacle 2002, not his regular weekly column.
I’ve lost track of how many countries have given in to US pressure regarding the International Criminal Court, but one which has is the newest, East Timor. Which is especially egregious because the original Indonesian invasion was green-lighted by the US, specifically by Henry Kissinger, that one-man war crime wave.
Hong Kong, following Beijing’s commands, is planning a law against sedition and subversion.
Post on how the R’s are using “faith-based initiatives” as election-year bribery.
One of my sources of odd websites doesn’t seem to realize that this one is a satire, of parental hysteria over paedophiles. I especially like this one, under Upcoming Events:
Portsmouth MobAccording to Dave Barry, in a column on the diversion of money from those tobacco lawsuits, not only is most of it not being spent on anti-smoking programs, which I knew, but, which I didn’t, North Carolina spent $41 million of its share on buying machinery to make tobacco growers more efficient.
Event: 3rd Annual Name-and-shame-athon
Date: 22nd October 2002
Type: Ousting
Details:
A spate of random acts of violence against local paediatricians and that man who hangs around in the park, you know, the one with the coat. Free placards for under-10s when accompanied by a furious adult.
You might also read Barry’s column on the Florida election debacle 2002, not his regular weekly column.
Saturday, September 14, 2002
Thursday, September 12, 2002
If aluminum tubes are outlawed, only outlaws will have aluminum tubes
At the UN, Bush said that if Iraq’s government doesn’t obey the UN, then Iraq’s government is illegitimate, and if the UN doesn’t do what Bush tells it to do, then the UN is illegitimate. His proof of Iraq’s nuclear, excuse me, nookyuler, program is that Iraq has tried to buy aluminum tubes, but was fortunately stopped. Somehow I don’t feel particularly threatened--Oh my God, he has an aluminum tube!
Meanwhile, the British Parliament will soon be recalled in order to have a debate on the Iraq war. Not a vote, mind you, that would be too much like democracy (making war is a prerogative of the crown, so there is sometimes a vote, and sometimes not--there was none before the Falklands war). The government will release its long-delayed dossier on Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction 3½ hours before the debate starts.
At a British hospital, a woman had a prosthetic right knee joint installed. In her left leg, unfortunately.
Following up a glancing reference in the London Times to the speech after Bush’s at the UN, that of Generalissimo Musharaf, I went to the Times of India’s website. 1st insight: in headlines, they call him Mush. Mush had some not very nice things to say about India. And in keeping with the theme of the day of using the UN to make threats, Russia threatened war against Georgia. And Robert Mugabe attacked Tony Blair.
By the way, is it not bad taste for the US to bitch about Iraq violating commands from the UN Security Council, when the Security Council is set up so that it will never make any demands on the US?
And as Bush prepared to give the speech, he sent the real message to the UN by moving war hq from Florida to Qatar. He told the UN not to make itself “irrelevant,” a word I’ve gotten pretty sick of this year as Ariel Sharon keeps using it for Arafat.
Nelson Mandela accuses the US of racism in its selective condemnation of certain countries having certain weapons. It’s evidently ok for a white country like Israel. He also says that the US lack of respect for the UN is perceived as coming from the series of black secretary-generals.
When Afghani interim puppet in chief Karzai was almost assassinated last week, he was saved by his American Special Forces bodyguards. Back in the US, Pentagon officials saw the footage and saw a really major problem--the soldiers looked pretty scruffy. They had been encouraged to blend in, so they all had beards and bandanas. They have since been ordered to shave (they all have sunburn now) and wear nice pressed uniforms--which will make them targets.
A poem from a Washington Post reporter, consisting of lines from Shrub:
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER By George W. Bush
I think that we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where
Our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
Meanwhile, the British Parliament will soon be recalled in order to have a debate on the Iraq war. Not a vote, mind you, that would be too much like democracy (making war is a prerogative of the crown, so there is sometimes a vote, and sometimes not--there was none before the Falklands war). The government will release its long-delayed dossier on Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction 3½ hours before the debate starts.
At a British hospital, a woman had a prosthetic right knee joint installed. In her left leg, unfortunately.
Following up a glancing reference in the London Times to the speech after Bush’s at the UN, that of Generalissimo Musharaf, I went to the Times of India’s website. 1st insight: in headlines, they call him Mush. Mush had some not very nice things to say about India. And in keeping with the theme of the day of using the UN to make threats, Russia threatened war against Georgia. And Robert Mugabe attacked Tony Blair.
By the way, is it not bad taste for the US to bitch about Iraq violating commands from the UN Security Council, when the Security Council is set up so that it will never make any demands on the US?
And as Bush prepared to give the speech, he sent the real message to the UN by moving war hq from Florida to Qatar. He told the UN not to make itself “irrelevant,” a word I’ve gotten pretty sick of this year as Ariel Sharon keeps using it for Arafat.
Nelson Mandela accuses the US of racism in its selective condemnation of certain countries having certain weapons. It’s evidently ok for a white country like Israel. He also says that the US lack of respect for the UN is perceived as coming from the series of black secretary-generals.
When Afghani interim puppet in chief Karzai was almost assassinated last week, he was saved by his American Special Forces bodyguards. Back in the US, Pentagon officials saw the footage and saw a really major problem--the soldiers looked pretty scruffy. They had been encouraged to blend in, so they all had beards and bandanas. They have since been ordered to shave (they all have sunburn now) and wear nice pressed uniforms--which will make them targets.
A poem from a Washington Post reporter, consisting of lines from Shrub:
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER By George W. Bush
I think that we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where
Our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Happy Patriot Day!
I’ve read that telemarketers are taking Sept. 11 off. So the terrorists have won after all.
Mark Hertsgaard comments on something missing in the media’s 9/11 coverage, that it was the anniversary of the US-sponsored coup in Chile in 1973, where the official death toll was 3,197.
A candidate for sheriff of La Plata County, Colorado has dropped out of the race after he shot a gang member. He, the candidate, was dressed at the time in women’s clothing, which he said was because he was part of an undercover assignment, and was leaving an adult bookstore. He refuses to say what agency was employing him at the time of the incident. In fact, no one can figure out if he has ever had a law enforcement job.
A Jewish family in Israel, who came from the US four years ago, took the Israeli bribes for doing so etc., have all converted to Islam (the father was converted over the internet). This has never happened before and the immigration ministry doesn’t really have a procedure for it. Their passports still say Jew (do Israeli passports really specify religion? Wasn’t the last country to do that Nazi Germany in 1938?).
While driving today, at a couple of overpasses I saw people waving large flags. One of them was chatting on his cell phone at the same time.
So happy Patriot Day, everybody. I think after using that word for the “USA PATRIOT Act,” with its detentions without trials, unlimited phone and e-mail taps, etc etc, maybe it was inappropriate to use it as well for the commemoration. Personally at 5:46 a.m. I sang a verse of “Happy birthday, international terrorist incident,” but that’s me. The Food Network (I first typed Foot Network, which must be one of the few channels my cable doesn’t carry) was off the air, which I suppose is a better statement than if they’d stayed on and just run pork recipes all day. Turner Classic Movies was running “Manhattan Melodrama.”
Speaking of movies, I just want to note the death of actor Katrin Cartlidge, who would have been one of the greats.
A letter to the Daily Telegraph says that Britain is obligated to join the US in its war on Iraq, given our support in both world wars. So if the US starts the war in 2003, Britain should enter in, say, 2006.
You’ll remember my theory that the reason the ATF wasn’t included in the Ministerium der Homeland Security was to make sure that no information on gun owners was ever used for law enforcement purposes. Well now the Bushies want to move it from Treasury to the clammy hands of John Ashcroft at Justice, where no doubt it will be renamed the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Dancing.
A Washington Post editorial notes that on 12/7/42, the first anniversary of Pearl Harbor, things were a lot clearer than they were today, with the US at war with Japan, Germany and Italy. Actually, I’d have said that was a lot like our case. FDR used the incident to expand a war from one enemy to many. Germany had no more to do with Pearl Harbor than Iraq with the World Trade Center (yes yes, I know Germany declared war on us, but the point still holds good).
I thought that fuss in UC Berkeley over whether ribbons should be white or red, white & blue was silly until today, when Bush in his speech said that the victims of 9/11 were killed because they were Americans, which of course many of them were not. He also said that we fight for the dignity of life, just in case you were collecting oxymorons. He also said something about liberating a nation and it took me a minute to realize he meant Afghanistan.
Bush, whether he knows it or not, is now responsible for everything everywhere in the world. He wanted a world-wide war on terrorism, he got it, but the responsibility goes along with it. This month, Pakistanis are blaming him for "letting" Musharaf rewrite the constitution to give himself and the
military absolute power over any “civilian” government. And they are right to assign the blame to Bush, who is now officially helping prop Musharaf up, although two years ago he couldn't come up with his name when asked. The rule of the war lords/criminals
in Afghanistan, that’s his as well. He now runs the world and, gosh, good luck with that. This is why the establishment of a viable Middle East peace is mandatory.
Many of you know my theory that when the US’s attention is elsewhere, as it is today, Israel commits an atrocity. Well, I don’t know that it did, but it did threaten Lebanon with war if it goes ahead with a water project.
Incidentally, I was wrong earlier about the telemarketers. I have in fact been given the opportunity today to switch phone companies.
Mark Hertsgaard comments on something missing in the media’s 9/11 coverage, that it was the anniversary of the US-sponsored coup in Chile in 1973, where the official death toll was 3,197.
A candidate for sheriff of La Plata County, Colorado has dropped out of the race after he shot a gang member. He, the candidate, was dressed at the time in women’s clothing, which he said was because he was part of an undercover assignment, and was leaving an adult bookstore. He refuses to say what agency was employing him at the time of the incident. In fact, no one can figure out if he has ever had a law enforcement job.
A Jewish family in Israel, who came from the US four years ago, took the Israeli bribes for doing so etc., have all converted to Islam (the father was converted over the internet). This has never happened before and the immigration ministry doesn’t really have a procedure for it. Their passports still say Jew (do Israeli passports really specify religion? Wasn’t the last country to do that Nazi Germany in 1938?).
While driving today, at a couple of overpasses I saw people waving large flags. One of them was chatting on his cell phone at the same time.
So happy Patriot Day, everybody. I think after using that word for the “USA PATRIOT Act,” with its detentions without trials, unlimited phone and e-mail taps, etc etc, maybe it was inappropriate to use it as well for the commemoration. Personally at 5:46 a.m. I sang a verse of “Happy birthday, international terrorist incident,” but that’s me. The Food Network (I first typed Foot Network, which must be one of the few channels my cable doesn’t carry) was off the air, which I suppose is a better statement than if they’d stayed on and just run pork recipes all day. Turner Classic Movies was running “Manhattan Melodrama.”
Speaking of movies, I just want to note the death of actor Katrin Cartlidge, who would have been one of the greats.
A letter to the Daily Telegraph says that Britain is obligated to join the US in its war on Iraq, given our support in both world wars. So if the US starts the war in 2003, Britain should enter in, say, 2006.
You’ll remember my theory that the reason the ATF wasn’t included in the Ministerium der Homeland Security was to make sure that no information on gun owners was ever used for law enforcement purposes. Well now the Bushies want to move it from Treasury to the clammy hands of John Ashcroft at Justice, where no doubt it will be renamed the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Dancing.
A Washington Post editorial notes that on 12/7/42, the first anniversary of Pearl Harbor, things were a lot clearer than they were today, with the US at war with Japan, Germany and Italy. Actually, I’d have said that was a lot like our case. FDR used the incident to expand a war from one enemy to many. Germany had no more to do with Pearl Harbor than Iraq with the World Trade Center (yes yes, I know Germany declared war on us, but the point still holds good).
I thought that fuss in UC Berkeley over whether ribbons should be white or red, white & blue was silly until today, when Bush in his speech said that the victims of 9/11 were killed because they were Americans, which of course many of them were not. He also said that we fight for the dignity of life, just in case you were collecting oxymorons. He also said something about liberating a nation and it took me a minute to realize he meant Afghanistan.
Bush, whether he knows it or not, is now responsible for everything everywhere in the world. He wanted a world-wide war on terrorism, he got it, but the responsibility goes along with it. This month, Pakistanis are blaming him for "letting" Musharaf rewrite the constitution to give himself and the
military absolute power over any “civilian” government. And they are right to assign the blame to Bush, who is now officially helping prop Musharaf up, although two years ago he couldn't come up with his name when asked. The rule of the war lords/criminals
in Afghanistan, that’s his as well. He now runs the world and, gosh, good luck with that. This is why the establishment of a viable Middle East peace is mandatory.
Many of you know my theory that when the US’s attention is elsewhere, as it is today, Israel commits an atrocity. Well, I don’t know that it did, but it did threaten Lebanon with war if it goes ahead with a water project.
Incidentally, I was wrong earlier about the telemarketers. I have in fact been given the opportunity today to switch phone companies.
Monday, September 09, 2002
Here’s a sweet story: a man in Iran cut off his 7-year old daughter’s head because he thought she had been raped. She hadn’t. The man said “The motive behind the killing was to defend my honour, fame, and dignity.” Well at least he still has those.
On the Sunday talk shows, Condi Rice says that the US has the right of self-defence under the UN Charter and that the burden of proof is on...Iraq. Logic is not big in the Bush administration. I’m assuming that the concept of Iraq also having a right of self-defence never entered into anyone’s minds. She also said "The United Nations and Security Council have teeth, and in 1991, they bared those teeth to try to deal with this real threat." Did they also jump up and down and throw their own poo? Dick Cheney says "We don't have all the evidence. We have 10 percent, 20 percent, 30 percent. We don't know how much. We know we have a part of the picture.” No wonder the burden of proof is on Iraq: the American case for pre-emptive war is predicated entirely on the ignorance and incompetence of the CIA.
Israel has banned 12 members of the Palestinian parliament representing Gaza from attending the Parliament. Security, you know.
Mouse pads showing Jesus weeping for the Twin Towers.
How does UC Berkeley plan to spend September 11? Debating the appropriate color of ribbons to wear and whether the display of American flags is appropriate.
On the Sunday talk shows, Condi Rice says that the US has the right of self-defence under the UN Charter and that the burden of proof is on...Iraq. Logic is not big in the Bush administration. I’m assuming that the concept of Iraq also having a right of self-defence never entered into anyone’s minds. She also said "The United Nations and Security Council have teeth, and in 1991, they bared those teeth to try to deal with this real threat." Did they also jump up and down and throw their own poo? Dick Cheney says "We don't have all the evidence. We have 10 percent, 20 percent, 30 percent. We don't know how much. We know we have a part of the picture.” No wonder the burden of proof is on Iraq: the American case for pre-emptive war is predicated entirely on the ignorance and incompetence of the CIA.
Israel has banned 12 members of the Palestinian parliament representing Gaza from attending the Parliament. Security, you know.
Mouse pads showing Jesus weeping for the Twin Towers.
How does UC Berkeley plan to spend September 11? Debating the appropriate color of ribbons to wear and whether the display of American flags is appropriate.
Sunday, September 08, 2002
You don't introduce new products in August
I mentioned the Florida trial of the two boys. They were convicted, the other guy was not, but the jury in the second case (the boys) says it was tricked, that it thought the other guy must have been convicted, and believed everyone was guilty but that the family friend did the actual murder. The jury convicted them, and exposed them to up to 22 years, because it thought they--opened the door. So what happened was that since the DA didn’t have any consistent theory of who actually committed the crime (and without one it was unethical to try anyone), the jury made up one of its own, largely based on guess-work. So what else happened, maybe, was that the defendant who got off was better able to game the system than a 13-year old, who was in no position to participate adequately in his own defense in a grown-up courtroom. They jury also didn’t believe the boys’ confessions.
Belgians have a technique they claim can determine the sex of children through IVF, that they can sort sperm by X & Y chromosome. It’s pretty much unproven, but they’re implementing it. But only to give couples who already have children a child of the opposite gender. I might not have mentioned this, but for the opportunity to note that the head of Britain’s Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, who sound-bites for the Observer, is named Suzi Leather.
Evidently, if Quebec had declared independence in 1995, Canada was prepared to invade, at least to secure weapons stockpiles (for some reason, most of the Canadian army’s ammo dumps are in Quebec, isn’t that comforting).
A headline in the Wash Post says that Bush and Blair “decry” Saddam Hussein. In one of my linguistic moments, I stopped to look up decry and found that its origins was to “decrease the value of coins by royal proclamation”--or in this case, to increase the price of oil.
Explaining why the White House hasn’t made much of a case for the forthcoming Iraq war, chief of staff Andy Card says, “From a marketing point of view, you don’t introduce new products in August.”
I almost wish the Bushies would make their case for Iraq entirely on the basis of American national interest, because it is when they speak for everyone else that they are at their most annoying. Saddam is breaking UN resolutions? Maybe, but that’s for the UN to say. Threatening his neighbors? There isn’t one country in the region, including Kuwait, which feels any threat. Kurds? The US has “stiffed” the Kurds by “crawfishing” in its policy more times than most Kurds have had hot meals, and they’re better off now, autonomous, than they would be forcibly re-integrated into a new “democratic” Iraq.
The Pentagon has cleared itself for the air strike on the wedding in Afghanistan.
The latest in incredibly intrusive surveillance of high school students.
Belgians have a technique they claim can determine the sex of children through IVF, that they can sort sperm by X & Y chromosome. It’s pretty much unproven, but they’re implementing it. But only to give couples who already have children a child of the opposite gender. I might not have mentioned this, but for the opportunity to note that the head of Britain’s Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, who sound-bites for the Observer, is named Suzi Leather.
Evidently, if Quebec had declared independence in 1995, Canada was prepared to invade, at least to secure weapons stockpiles (for some reason, most of the Canadian army’s ammo dumps are in Quebec, isn’t that comforting).
A headline in the Wash Post says that Bush and Blair “decry” Saddam Hussein. In one of my linguistic moments, I stopped to look up decry and found that its origins was to “decrease the value of coins by royal proclamation”--or in this case, to increase the price of oil.
Explaining why the White House hasn’t made much of a case for the forthcoming Iraq war, chief of staff Andy Card says, “From a marketing point of view, you don’t introduce new products in August.”
I almost wish the Bushies would make their case for Iraq entirely on the basis of American national interest, because it is when they speak for everyone else that they are at their most annoying. Saddam is breaking UN resolutions? Maybe, but that’s for the UN to say. Threatening his neighbors? There isn’t one country in the region, including Kuwait, which feels any threat. Kurds? The US has “stiffed” the Kurds by “crawfishing” in its policy more times than most Kurds have had hot meals, and they’re better off now, autonomous, than they would be forcibly re-integrated into a new “democratic” Iraq.
The Pentagon has cleared itself for the air strike on the wedding in Afghanistan.
The latest in incredibly intrusive surveillance of high school students.
Friday, September 06, 2002
Don't look now: Saddam is drowning kittens
Germany refuses to let a Turkish couple name their child Osama bin Laden.
Israel’s little show-trial of Palestinian leader Marwan Barghouti continues, and it’s darned entertaining. Today guards tackled his 13-year old son, and the judge made these impartial comments: someone fighting for peace "doesn't turn people into bombs and kill children".
The Siemens company has decided, after all, not to register Zyklon as a trademark for a range of products, including gas ovens.
Ari Fleischer says of Iraq, “No other nation has been as militaristic.”
Former-Soviet former-republic Georgia has given in to Russian pressure to allow its troops into the country to hunt for Chechens.
Bush has said that Congress will be allowed to debate Iraq, and that it will not influence him in the slightest because his mind is made up. The Magic 8 Ball has spoken!
Indeed, US intelligence has conveniently discovered new evidence that Iraq is putting up buildings in places we don't like, because when we bomb them back into the Stone Age, by God they'd better stay back in the Stone Age.
I’ve had to remove several British football references from the following:
Don’t look now: Saddam is drowning kittens
The warmongers failed to win public opinion, so they’re suddenly cobbling together ‘evidence’
By Mark Steel
The Independent
So, they’ve got the evidence, about the weapons of mass destruction, but we can’t see it just yet. Is it still at the printers? Is it being held up by a row about how you spell "aflatoxin"? Perhaps there’s a problem with the plot, and the scriptwriters are refusing to let it go because the character of Tariq Aziz is left in the air and the relationship between Saddam and the scud missiles left hopelessly unresolved.
If they know the evidence, why can’t they tell us the main points until we have the dossier? Or at least make a trailer: "This is a story of a man for whom mass destruction was simply a hobby - ‘Soon all my chemical weapons will be in place’ -- and two men determined to stop him - ‘My God, there’s enough uranium in there to murder every living thing in every country affiliated to Nato. And look at this delivery notice, it says he’s getting his last crucial warhead in exactly three months’ - Together they have 90 days to stop the axis of evil."
Or when it comes they might announce: "We don’t have any photos of his weapons of mass destruction just yet - but we have got drawings. In felt pen."
And what a coincidence, that this evidence should promise to pop up now, just as it becomes clear public opinion is against a war. It all looks as desperate as a couple coming back from holiday and incompetently trying to carry out an insurance fiddle. Blair and Bush are almost kicking each other under the table as they mutter: "They’ve definitely got plutonium. Uranium. No, plutonium. Hang on a minute - I thought we agreed uranium."
In a couple of weeks Blair will hold another press conference and announce he’s left the evidence on the Tube. But he has finished it, honest. Then that night he’ll ring Bush and say: "Can I copy yours?"
So for the time being we’re left with statements such as the one by White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, who said the war must go ahead because "Saddam has not lived up to his promise to allow inspectors into the country". He was then asked if the war would still go ahead if Saddam did allow them into the country, and Fleischer answered: "The policy of the US is regime change, with or without inspectors." So if Saddam does admit inspectors, they’ll be doing the most pointless inspecting in the world. You couldn’t blame them if they sat in the shade for a fortnight and sent back a note saying: "He’s got a machine that can turn us all into tadpoles.".
Which would be at the level of one paper’s cut-out guide to "Iraq’s evil arsenal", pride of place going to "Scud missiles". It admits the accuracy of these things is less than a mile, so can we really go to war with someone for possessing a large firework? They might as well include "The Dead Leg. Evil thigh-tingling weapon that could numb several people in one day". The Scud, we are told, has a "range of 200 miles, making Israel, Cyprus, Turkey, Iran and Kuwait possible targets". So either the demand is that Saddam gets rid of his Scuds, or that he moves Iraq to somewhere more than 200 miles from the nearest country.
But the tabloid also mentions nuclear weapons. For, "if Saddam acquires enriched uranium, he could be just months from building a warhead". If the Women’s Institute acquired enriched uranium, they could be just months from building a warhead. There is, however, a fair amount of evidence that Saddam doesn’t have the military power that Blair and Bush claim. Scott Ritter, who led the UN inspections team, has stated repeatedly that any nuclear potential was destroyed. And the last bunch of inspectors eventually left because they admitted they were acting as spies.
The other argument for war, that Saddam’s evil is proved by his war against Iran and his treatment of Kurds, is poetic in its hypocrisy. It’s true he did both those things but we were backing him at the time. The Americans shot down a civilian Iranian plane, vetoed a United Nations resolution condemning the attacks on the Kurds and dismissed anyone who pointed out this barbarism.
So it could be that because the warmongers are failing to win public opinion, they’re suddenly cobbling together "evidence". And there will be piles of it. Just like the stories of Germans raping nuns in 1914 and Iraqis throwing babies out of incubators in 1990, admitted as lies once those wars were over. There will be grainy film of Saddam chucking kittens in canals and crackly tape of him threatening to ruin David Beckham’s hair.
Israel’s little show-trial of Palestinian leader Marwan Barghouti continues, and it’s darned entertaining. Today guards tackled his 13-year old son, and the judge made these impartial comments: someone fighting for peace "doesn't turn people into bombs and kill children".
The Siemens company has decided, after all, not to register Zyklon as a trademark for a range of products, including gas ovens.
Ari Fleischer says of Iraq, “No other nation has been as militaristic.”
Former-Soviet former-republic Georgia has given in to Russian pressure to allow its troops into the country to hunt for Chechens.
Bush has said that Congress will be allowed to debate Iraq, and that it will not influence him in the slightest because his mind is made up. The Magic 8 Ball has spoken!
Indeed, US intelligence has conveniently discovered new evidence that Iraq is putting up buildings in places we don't like, because when we bomb them back into the Stone Age, by God they'd better stay back in the Stone Age.
I’ve had to remove several British football references from the following:
Don’t look now: Saddam is drowning kittens
The warmongers failed to win public opinion, so they’re suddenly cobbling together ‘evidence’
By Mark Steel
The Independent
So, they’ve got the evidence, about the weapons of mass destruction, but we can’t see it just yet. Is it still at the printers? Is it being held up by a row about how you spell "aflatoxin"? Perhaps there’s a problem with the plot, and the scriptwriters are refusing to let it go because the character of Tariq Aziz is left in the air and the relationship between Saddam and the scud missiles left hopelessly unresolved.
If they know the evidence, why can’t they tell us the main points until we have the dossier? Or at least make a trailer: "This is a story of a man for whom mass destruction was simply a hobby - ‘Soon all my chemical weapons will be in place’ -- and two men determined to stop him - ‘My God, there’s enough uranium in there to murder every living thing in every country affiliated to Nato. And look at this delivery notice, it says he’s getting his last crucial warhead in exactly three months’ - Together they have 90 days to stop the axis of evil."
Or when it comes they might announce: "We don’t have any photos of his weapons of mass destruction just yet - but we have got drawings. In felt pen."
And what a coincidence, that this evidence should promise to pop up now, just as it becomes clear public opinion is against a war. It all looks as desperate as a couple coming back from holiday and incompetently trying to carry out an insurance fiddle. Blair and Bush are almost kicking each other under the table as they mutter: "They’ve definitely got plutonium. Uranium. No, plutonium. Hang on a minute - I thought we agreed uranium."
In a couple of weeks Blair will hold another press conference and announce he’s left the evidence on the Tube. But he has finished it, honest. Then that night he’ll ring Bush and say: "Can I copy yours?"
So for the time being we’re left with statements such as the one by White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, who said the war must go ahead because "Saddam has not lived up to his promise to allow inspectors into the country". He was then asked if the war would still go ahead if Saddam did allow them into the country, and Fleischer answered: "The policy of the US is regime change, with or without inspectors." So if Saddam does admit inspectors, they’ll be doing the most pointless inspecting in the world. You couldn’t blame them if they sat in the shade for a fortnight and sent back a note saying: "He’s got a machine that can turn us all into tadpoles.".
Which would be at the level of one paper’s cut-out guide to "Iraq’s evil arsenal", pride of place going to "Scud missiles". It admits the accuracy of these things is less than a mile, so can we really go to war with someone for possessing a large firework? They might as well include "The Dead Leg. Evil thigh-tingling weapon that could numb several people in one day". The Scud, we are told, has a "range of 200 miles, making Israel, Cyprus, Turkey, Iran and Kuwait possible targets". So either the demand is that Saddam gets rid of his Scuds, or that he moves Iraq to somewhere more than 200 miles from the nearest country.
But the tabloid also mentions nuclear weapons. For, "if Saddam acquires enriched uranium, he could be just months from building a warhead". If the Women’s Institute acquired enriched uranium, they could be just months from building a warhead. There is, however, a fair amount of evidence that Saddam doesn’t have the military power that Blair and Bush claim. Scott Ritter, who led the UN inspections team, has stated repeatedly that any nuclear potential was destroyed. And the last bunch of inspectors eventually left because they admitted they were acting as spies.
The other argument for war, that Saddam’s evil is proved by his war against Iran and his treatment of Kurds, is poetic in its hypocrisy. It’s true he did both those things but we were backing him at the time. The Americans shot down a civilian Iranian plane, vetoed a United Nations resolution condemning the attacks on the Kurds and dismissed anyone who pointed out this barbarism.
So it could be that because the warmongers are failing to win public opinion, they’re suddenly cobbling together "evidence". And there will be piles of it. Just like the stories of Germans raping nuns in 1914 and Iraqis throwing babies out of incubators in 1990, admitted as lies once those wars were over. There will be grainy film of Saddam chucking kittens in canals and crackly tape of him threatening to ruin David Beckham’s hair.
Thursday, September 05, 2002
And what rough beast, its hour come at last, crawfishes towards Bethlehem to be born
Bush sent the London Times reporter scurrying for his slang dictionary to figure out what the hell it means that Saddam Hussein has “crawfished” out of UN agreements. The foreign pages’ editor comments, “Presumably UN support, if it is given, will register more formal offences than these.”
In Florida, a DA is concluding his second murder trial for the same murder. This happened in Torrance a couple of years ago and got almost no publicity, but this one has gotten a bit more. This time, the jury verdict from the first trial has been sealed, so that the possibility that a conviction has already been reached won’t hurt the prosecution’s ability to put an entirely different theory to another jury. The two boys in the first trial were 12 and 13 at the time they’re supposed to have killed their father, but of course are being tried as tiny adults.
Israeli hackers have been conducting a little cyber-warfare against peace and pro-Palestinian activists in the US, sending out fake e-mails under their name with subjects like Down with the United States.
In Florida, a DA is concluding his second murder trial for the same murder. This happened in Torrance a couple of years ago and got almost no publicity, but this one has gotten a bit more. This time, the jury verdict from the first trial has been sealed, so that the possibility that a conviction has already been reached won’t hurt the prosecution’s ability to put an entirely different theory to another jury. The two boys in the first trial were 12 and 13 at the time they’re supposed to have killed their father, but of course are being tried as tiny adults.
Israeli hackers have been conducting a little cyber-warfare against peace and pro-Palestinian activists in the US, sending out fake e-mails under their name with subjects like Down with the United States.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
The president is not a prop for some reality show
Evidently CNN offered to make those Al Qaida training films available to the government before airing--on condition that they’d get to film Bush’s reaction to the tape of the dog being gassed. Hey, Clinton would have done it. An unnamed Bushie said, “The president is not a prop for some reality show.” Guess that guy didn’t get the memo.
Israel’s Supreme Court allows the expulsion of relatives of militants to Gaza. Palestine says it will refuse to allow them to enter Gaza.
Israel’s Supreme Court allows the expulsion of relatives of militants to Gaza. Palestine says it will refuse to allow them to enter Gaza.
Monday, September 02, 2002
Water is essential for human life
WaPo on how US AID money in Egypt is going to support, not pro-democracy groups, but the courts that put members of those groups in jail, and government-run “trade unions,” and to computerize the toy-telephone Parliament and local governments.
The Earth Summit has produced some stunningly vague agreements, but it has also managed to make some stunningly obvious pronouncements. In the words of a London Times headline, “Water Is Essential for Human Life--It’s Official.”
More on the oil pipeline through Turkey. Fascinating on detailing the relative power of oil companies and nation states.
A former prisoner in Britain, to publicize his demand for compensation for injury from a razor hidden in a mattress, broke back into the prison and went up on its roof for four hours.
There are in fact 210 people named Romeo in Britain.
The Earth Summit has produced some stunningly vague agreements, but it has also managed to make some stunningly obvious pronouncements. In the words of a London Times headline, “Water Is Essential for Human Life--It’s Official.”
More on the oil pipeline through Turkey. Fascinating on detailing the relative power of oil companies and nation states.
A former prisoner in Britain, to publicize his demand for compensation for injury from a razor hidden in a mattress, broke back into the prison and went up on its roof for four hours.
There are in fact 210 people named Romeo in Britain.
Sunday, September 01, 2002
Most politicians turn out to be eunuchs
G’day, Bruce: A town in Australia is up for sale: Bruce. Bruce is 200 miles from Adelaide, population 4 people, 3 dogs.
The famous are not like you and I: Posh Spice and David Beckham have named their second child Romeo; their first was named Brooklyn (I don’t know if that’s a boy’s name or a girl’s name, but it is a future psychiatric patient’s name).
Germany is getting ever less cooperative over the war on Iraq. There is a big push by the US to remind Germany that it is also a hate target. Wait, are you telling me that there are people who don’t like Germany? Whatever for?
Iraq, according to the Times, is going on a “charm offensive” across Europe. It is not often you see “Iraq” and “charm” in the same sentence.
The latest in stupid corporate team-building exercises, like paint-balling and fire-walking, include: making stuff out of Legos, and herding sheep with dogs.
On September 11th, there will no doubt be a minute’s silence. Gee, it was such a big event, I think there should be at least a year’s silence. Anyone with me on this?
The Kentucky prison system has suspended religious services by Satanists, who claim that the Kentucky prison system, and indeed Kentucky itself, is absolute proof of the existence of Satan. Wiccan services continue.
Follow-up: the monkey god has died. Gets big funeral.
Libya has some Al Qaida prisoners. Qadafy has announced he will treat them like dogs, and not give them lawyers or the right to defend themselves. Just like the US, he says.
From the Times:
The famous are not like you and I: Posh Spice and David Beckham have named their second child Romeo; their first was named Brooklyn (I don’t know if that’s a boy’s name or a girl’s name, but it is a future psychiatric patient’s name).
Germany is getting ever less cooperative over the war on Iraq. There is a big push by the US to remind Germany that it is also a hate target. Wait, are you telling me that there are people who don’t like Germany? Whatever for?
Iraq, according to the Times, is going on a “charm offensive” across Europe. It is not often you see “Iraq” and “charm” in the same sentence.
The latest in stupid corporate team-building exercises, like paint-balling and fire-walking, include: making stuff out of Legos, and herding sheep with dogs.
On September 11th, there will no doubt be a minute’s silence. Gee, it was such a big event, I think there should be at least a year’s silence. Anyone with me on this?
The Kentucky prison system has suspended religious services by Satanists, who claim that the Kentucky prison system, and indeed Kentucky itself, is absolute proof of the existence of Satan. Wiccan services continue.
Follow-up: the monkey god has died. Gets big funeral.
Libya has some Al Qaida prisoners. Qadafy has announced he will treat them like dogs, and not give them lawyers or the right to defend themselves. Just like the US, he says.
From the Times:
THE first eunuch to be elected mayor of an Indian city has had to resign after a court ruled that a eunuch was not eligible for a post reserved for women under an affirmative action scheme.
Kamla Jaan, 52, a flamboyant and illiterate character, who has dressed all her life as a woman and refers to herself as feminine (Indians traditionally refer to eunuchs as “she”), shocked the political establishment when she was elected Mayor of Katni three years ago in a landslide victory. ...
She proved an extraordinary and instant success, using her uniquely direct style to forge ahead with long-delayed civic projects, such as sinking new wells, fixing long-disused drains and renovating the local bus station. [That sentence is double entendre heaven] ...
The law in Madhya Pradesh state defines some eunuchs as men and some as women, and the judge backed the claim of petitioners that Ms Jaan was male. [If there were ever a sentence that needed elucidation...] ....
With no families, they are perceived to be less nepotistic and their role as social outcasts has made them less inhibited about speaking their minds.
As one of Ms Jaan’s constituents put it: “Most politicians turn out to be eunuchs, so we thought it was time to elect a real one.” [I suppose it’s easier than electing someone and then castrating them, but not as much fun.]
Last year eunuchs marked their entry into national politics with the launch of a national political party, led by Shabnam Mausi, who is known as Aunt Shabnam.
Friday, August 30, 2002
Please don't harass the monkey god
New California fad: cardio-striptease.
Hyderabad: An Indian court has intervened to save a monkey trapped inside a temple by over-zealous devotees convinced that it is the reincarnation of a monkey god. The court ruled that visiting pilgrims cannot harass the monkey, which is to get medical help.
Winston Churchill’s grandson also says that George W. Bush is no Winston Churchill (he’s an MP and a former minister for the armed forces, so it’s not just a cheap shot, either).
Bush keeps saying he’s “a patient man” (I have doubts about the noun as well as the adjective) and hasn’t decided whether to invade Iraq, and that therefore any criticism whatsoever is “premature.” And yesterday, the State department said of a plan to set up a government in exile that since Bush hadn’t decided on invasion, any talk of a future Iraqi government is “premature.” So, what, decision first, discussion afterwards, like the Queen of Heart’s court? Premature suggests that there’s a maximum time limit for discussing major decisions. A week? Two?
Tuvalu (that’s a country) is suing the US and oil companies for global warming, which should entirely submerge the country within 50 years.
Did you know that the Bible is full of emoticons?
A US district judge rules that Mexico had sovereign immunity when it stole money taken from the wages of bracero workers in the 1940s.
Hyderabad: An Indian court has intervened to save a monkey trapped inside a temple by over-zealous devotees convinced that it is the reincarnation of a monkey god. The court ruled that visiting pilgrims cannot harass the monkey, which is to get medical help.
Winston Churchill’s grandson also says that George W. Bush is no Winston Churchill (he’s an MP and a former minister for the armed forces, so it’s not just a cheap shot, either).
Bush keeps saying he’s “a patient man” (I have doubts about the noun as well as the adjective) and hasn’t decided whether to invade Iraq, and that therefore any criticism whatsoever is “premature.” And yesterday, the State department said of a plan to set up a government in exile that since Bush hadn’t decided on invasion, any talk of a future Iraqi government is “premature.” So, what, decision first, discussion afterwards, like the Queen of Heart’s court? Premature suggests that there’s a maximum time limit for discussing major decisions. A week? Two?
Tuvalu (that’s a country) is suing the US and oil companies for global warming, which should entirely submerge the country within 50 years.
Did you know that the Bible is full of emoticons?
A US district judge rules that Mexico had sovereign immunity when it stole money taken from the wages of bracero workers in the 1940s.
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Water, water, everywhere
After 6 months in an Australian detention center, a Pakistani seeking asylum is released--and handed a bill for $85 a night for a dorm without a door and a two-hour wait for the showers. Of course, his new visa doesn’t allow him to work and...wait for it...potential immigrants aren’t allowed to have debts to the government.
At the Earth Summit, the Bush admin wrecks another international agreement, this one on clean drinking water, the lack of which kills millions of children each year, but screw ‘em. Let ‘em drink Coke (except in LA schools, where it will soon be illegal--what will they wash down their Ecstacy and Ritalin with?).
The constant references by Bushies to Churchill in the drum beating for war against Iraq is pissing off all the British newspapers, one of which even interviewed, gasp, historians.
Robert Mugabe fires the last white cabinet minister.
A couple of times this month I’ve sent funny stories about the megalomanocracy running Turkmenistan. In today’s paper was the punch line: US to expand military cooperation with Turkmenistan.
If you haven’t seen the study which says that the US has quadrupled its inmate population in twenty years, and that there are now 791,600 black men in jail or prison compared to 603,032 in colleges or universities, seek it out.
At the Earth Summit, the Bush admin wrecks another international agreement, this one on clean drinking water, the lack of which kills millions of children each year, but screw ‘em. Let ‘em drink Coke (except in LA schools, where it will soon be illegal--what will they wash down their Ecstacy and Ritalin with?).
The constant references by Bushies to Churchill in the drum beating for war against Iraq is pissing off all the British newspapers, one of which even interviewed, gasp, historians.
Robert Mugabe fires the last white cabinet minister.
A couple of times this month I’ve sent funny stories about the megalomanocracy running Turkmenistan. In today’s paper was the punch line: US to expand military cooperation with Turkmenistan.
If you haven’t seen the study which says that the US has quadrupled its inmate population in twenty years, and that there are now 791,600 black men in jail or prison compared to 603,032 in colleges or universities, seek it out.
Tuesday, August 27, 2002
Wilmington, Dele. police have been compiling a database of potential criminals. Lacking the services of precogs, they use “jump-out” squads of police who drive around, spot a group of, let’s say, black youths, hanging around a street corner, jump (I’m assuming) out of their cars, round up, search and photograph the non-criminals. The mayor insists that this is constitutional in the alternate universe he lives in.
The Spanish Parliament votes to ask that the Batasuna party of the Basques be banned, and a high court judge simultaneously does just that. This means that electricity and water are cut off to its buildings and it is not allowed to call meetings or street demonstrations, but current elected officials can serve out their terms. The vote was 295 to 10, 29 abstaining. I’m guessing the 295 all belonged to other parties, which is pretty convenient for them. Under a new law, parties which justify terrorism are deemed responsible for it (Batasuna doesn’t quite do that, but nor does it condemn it and blames it on the continuing oppression of the Basques). It ill behooves a former fascist state to proscribe some people from the democratic process, especially on the grounds of thought crime.
In Detroit, a mohel was stopped for DUI on his way to perform a circumcision.
Ronald Reagan’s son says that he now speaks nothing but gibberish. I am refraining from commenting, not on the grounds of taste, which have never stopped me in the past, but on the grounds of it presenting no challenge whatsoever.
Speaking of Alzheimer’s, I’d like to remind everyone that Iraq did not expel the UN inspectors, they withdrew themselves, no matter how many times Rummy says differently. Also, the UN “inspectors” (this came out in January 1999) really were American spies, like Hussein always said they were. They reported to the US, which only passed on to the UN what it felt like passing on. Quoting myself from 2/13/99, “after the US offered the use of its U2 spy planes to Unscom to monitor Iraq, the first thing it did was to refuse to tell when and where photos were taken and deliberately fuzzy them up to disguise the U2’s capabilities.”
Evidently, the Bush admin just did a deal with China, actually negotiated whether the Uighur Muslims should be put on our list of terrorist organizations. This is deeply, deeply cynical.
William Saletan has an interesting piece analyzing Cheney’s pro-war speech. He says that there is a new line of argument based on Iraq’s supposedly being about to acquire nukes, for which Cheney offers no evidence whatsoever, and these nukes would prevent US acting against Iraq if it did something unpleasant in the future. Thus, Saletan says, the forthcoming war is no longer an extension of the war on terrorism, but of the 1st Persian Gulf War. Cheney said that inspections would no longer be of any use, because Iraq is so good at hiding stuff. The Bushies, lacking any evidence, are now playing on the difficulty of proving a negative--it doesn’t even matter whether there’s proof of the assertion of near-nuclear capability, let’s bomb now preemptively. Actually, the existing war on Iraq (7 bombing raids in the last week--it may not be Dresden, but that’s certainly war in my book) in aid of the “no fly” zone follows similar logic: it has nothing to do with protecting Kurds or Iraqis but solely with preserving our right to do whatever we want. In this sense, it is actually an extension of Bush’s Star Wars policy--destroying or neutralizing everybody else’s military capabilities while ours remains intact.
At least the Bushies have finally realized the unattractiveness of “regime change” as a slogan.
From the Village Voice:
One might add $50,000, the amount asked for in a Japanese court by Chinese victims of Japanese germ warfare in the 1940s. For the first time, the court admitted the action, but denied that any compensation was owed.
The Spanish Parliament votes to ask that the Batasuna party of the Basques be banned, and a high court judge simultaneously does just that. This means that electricity and water are cut off to its buildings and it is not allowed to call meetings or street demonstrations, but current elected officials can serve out their terms. The vote was 295 to 10, 29 abstaining. I’m guessing the 295 all belonged to other parties, which is pretty convenient for them. Under a new law, parties which justify terrorism are deemed responsible for it (Batasuna doesn’t quite do that, but nor does it condemn it and blames it on the continuing oppression of the Basques). It ill behooves a former fascist state to proscribe some people from the democratic process, especially on the grounds of thought crime.
In Detroit, a mohel was stopped for DUI on his way to perform a circumcision.
Ronald Reagan’s son says that he now speaks nothing but gibberish. I am refraining from commenting, not on the grounds of taste, which have never stopped me in the past, but on the grounds of it presenting no challenge whatsoever.
Speaking of Alzheimer’s, I’d like to remind everyone that Iraq did not expel the UN inspectors, they withdrew themselves, no matter how many times Rummy says differently. Also, the UN “inspectors” (this came out in January 1999) really were American spies, like Hussein always said they were. They reported to the US, which only passed on to the UN what it felt like passing on. Quoting myself from 2/13/99, “after the US offered the use of its U2 spy planes to Unscom to monitor Iraq, the first thing it did was to refuse to tell when and where photos were taken and deliberately fuzzy them up to disguise the U2’s capabilities.”
Evidently, the Bush admin just did a deal with China, actually negotiated whether the Uighur Muslims should be put on our list of terrorist organizations. This is deeply, deeply cynical.
William Saletan has an interesting piece analyzing Cheney’s pro-war speech. He says that there is a new line of argument based on Iraq’s supposedly being about to acquire nukes, for which Cheney offers no evidence whatsoever, and these nukes would prevent US acting against Iraq if it did something unpleasant in the future. Thus, Saletan says, the forthcoming war is no longer an extension of the war on terrorism, but of the 1st Persian Gulf War. Cheney said that inspections would no longer be of any use, because Iraq is so good at hiding stuff. The Bushies, lacking any evidence, are now playing on the difficulty of proving a negative--it doesn’t even matter whether there’s proof of the assertion of near-nuclear capability, let’s bomb now preemptively. Actually, the existing war on Iraq (7 bombing raids in the last week--it may not be Dresden, but that’s certainly war in my book) in aid of the “no fly” zone follows similar logic: it has nothing to do with protecting Kurds or Iraqis but solely with preserving our right to do whatever we want. In this sense, it is actually an extension of Bush’s Star Wars policy--destroying or neutralizing everybody else’s military capabilities while ours remains intact.
At least the Bushies have finally realized the unattractiveness of “regime change” as a slogan.
From the Village Voice:
The actual price of killing civilians in a place like Afghanistan was cheap. Marc Herold, a New Hampshire professor who tracks civilian casualties, compared U.S. compensation to Italian victims of the tramway accident with Chinese victims in the NATO bombing of its Belgrade embassy, and with Afghan civilian deaths. It comes down to this:
• Italian: $2 million per victim
• Chinese: $150,000 per victim
• Afghan: $100 per victim
One might add $50,000, the amount asked for in a Japanese court by Chinese victims of Japanese germ warfare in the 1940s. For the first time, the court admitted the action, but denied that any compensation was owed.
Sunday, August 25, 2002
Sacrifice the chocolate rabbit
Remember those American soldiers imprisoned in Japan, eventually, for raping children in Okinawa? It seems that under an agreement written during the occupation, the US military provides their food, and they are eating extremely well, pissing off the Japanese yet again.
A website devoted to a campaign to get men to pee sitting down. There are greeting cards...
The new, possibly insane, president of Colombia, wishes to arm peasants to kill guerillas.
The UN World Food Program tells Zambia to suck it up and take GM foods or starve to death. This really does look like some sort of sick campaign to use African starvation to push agri-business’s agenda re Frankenstein Foods.
Speaking of monstrous foods, Britain’s food safety people are threatening to ban haggis (there may be a BSE risk in using sheep intestines).
Bush dismisses Musharaf’s strengthening of military control by saying that he is “tight” with us. WordPerfect’s dictionary defines tight as 3) well sealed against something such as air, 4) stretched so as to leave no slack, 5) allowing little room for maneuver, 11) miserly, 12) drunk. Probably of Germanic origin. Yup.
Speaking of dictators, 97% of Azerbaijan voters voted (sure they did) for various constitutional changes, including letting Aliyev essentially name his successor, his son. This will be the first hereditary ruling family in the former Soviet Union.
Speaking of hereditary ruling families, Bush the Younger’s lawyers insist that he doesn’t need to bother Congress’s pretty little heads before launching an attack on Iraq (a big one, not like the daily bombing raids, presumably), because the 1991 authorization of force is still in effect. By those standards, he could also go to war with North Korea, and god knows what other countries.
A website devoted to a campaign to get men to pee sitting down. There are greeting cards...
The new, possibly insane, president of Colombia, wishes to arm peasants to kill guerillas.
The UN World Food Program tells Zambia to suck it up and take GM foods or starve to death. This really does look like some sort of sick campaign to use African starvation to push agri-business’s agenda re Frankenstein Foods.
Speaking of monstrous foods, Britain’s food safety people are threatening to ban haggis (there may be a BSE risk in using sheep intestines).
Bush dismisses Musharaf’s strengthening of military control by saying that he is “tight” with us. WordPerfect’s dictionary defines tight as 3) well sealed against something such as air, 4) stretched so as to leave no slack, 5) allowing little room for maneuver, 11) miserly, 12) drunk. Probably of Germanic origin. Yup.
Speaking of dictators, 97% of Azerbaijan voters voted (sure they did) for various constitutional changes, including letting Aliyev essentially name his successor, his son. This will be the first hereditary ruling family in the former Soviet Union.
Speaking of hereditary ruling families, Bush the Younger’s lawyers insist that he doesn’t need to bother Congress’s pretty little heads before launching an attack on Iraq (a big one, not like the daily bombing raids, presumably), because the 1991 authorization of force is still in effect. By those standards, he could also go to war with North Korea, and god knows what other countries.
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